This is from Myrtle Beach with Charles Neal and my son, Link from Good Mythical Morning. How you doing, Link? I’m doing great, dad. I really am. I’ve got my afternoon cup of coffee here. If you don’t mind, I’m gonna take a little slizzer. But that’s all is in that cup is coffee. Oh, that’s all I need. That’s all I… What are you accusing me of? Getting a little schnockered at work? No. Schnackered. What’s the word? I know how well you love coffee, so you go ahead. Thank you, thank you. I did, I’m good. You had a good week since Thanksgiving? Well, we’re in one of those conundrums where it’s like, well, I know that we were together for Thanksgiving, but we recorded this, we are recording this right now. I don’t know if you know that, but I’m currently recording this with you. It is before that. So the released version of this, the experience is that we’ve already had Thanksgiving together at Nana’s house. But at this point, all I have is high hopes that it went well. And I have to believe it went well. You ordered the menu, so I mean, you and Christy and all the kids and everything, so– Those ribs you made were wonderful. Oh no, we’ll talk about it next time. Oh no, I can say with confidence, the ribs were wonderful. Oh yeah, they’re going to be wonderful. Everybody was there. Everybody had a good time. Nobody got into any sort of fights with each other. We don’t do that. The Neal get-togethers, we don’t really have fights. Sometimes we might pick on each other, but we don’t really… Sometimes if something’s said that rubs somebody the wrong way, maybe it’ll come out later. It’s like, oh, I heard from so-and-so that Charles said something that hurt my feelings. It’s like, well, why didn’t you tell me? It’s like, well, because it was Thanksgiving, right? That’s how all conflict happens at Nana’s table. It’s like a after the fact. Oh, did something happen? I thought that might be a moment, but was it a moment? No, we’ll just see. We’ll see if it makes it’s way around the grapevine. Right? Isn’t that how it works? Yep. Yeah, that’s how it works. That’s how it works. I don’t think any of that happened this time. No, it’ll all be good, yeah. Well listen, we asked our Myrtle Beach to send in stuff when we go over stuff and you know, remember a couple episodes back when I asked people to email me if they can talk my story about wives getting along well. Yes. And the Myrtle Beach delivered. So why wife and ex-wife or ex-wives? Yep. We’re not talking about like a polygamy situation. Nope. That’s not what we were prompting. Now, if you want people to submit polygamy stories, you can ask for that, but that’s gonna be– I’m not asking for that. So don’t bring stuff up that we don’t want to ask. Sorry. Noted. I was just clarifying. All right, so what you got? Well, I got one from Autumn Bough. And it says, now, this story isn’t about my husband and isn’t about my husband and his ex-wife, but about two of my husband’s ex-wives. I am my husband’s third wife. His first two ex-wives are now best friends. They go on vacation together, one rents a house from the other and they have matching tattoos. The look on people’s faces when my husband tells this story is the most amusing thing. Is this exactly what you were looking for? I don’t think it was. No. That autumn, I don’t know if this corresponds with me and having a wise sandwich and you’ve got a husband that’s married to you and he’s got two other ex-wives. And I don’t know if you have anything to do with him or not, but– Doesn’t sound like it. It sounds like he has a wake… He’s left a wake of ex-wives who might have not liking their ex-husband in common. That’s what I’m wondering about. I mean, I don’t know if these two ex-wives, if they still correspond with your husband now or if y’all get along, it just sounds like– I like how you say correspond like dear ex-husband, I’m writing this correspondence to let you know that I have become acquainted with your first ex-wife and I am now renting a cottage from said ex-wife. I would like to state our intentions to get matching tattoos of your face on our arse with a circle around it, with a line twixed it, ala Ghostbusters logo. I wonder what the tattoo is, you know? Autumn, you may have to email me back and tell me what these tattoos look like and– Pics or it didn’t happen. Just what’s going on. And I guess it’s nice that two ex-wives can get along. I don’t know how well you want them getting along with your husband, but that’s a whole nother thing, but– Okay. So that’s not what we’re looking for. It is. Because it is kind of amusing that I’m just wondering, and this may not be so, Autumn, but you know, one of them ex-wives might be staying in one of the houses that your husband had to buy anyway. He probably don’t like it no way. That’s right. But I don’t know that. I don’t know that, Autumn. We don’t know, we’re presuming, unless you give us more information and pictures of the tattoos. That’s what we really would like to know about that. But I mean, over thanksgiving, me and my mom was invited and we’re presuming that she had a wonderful time as part of the festivities, you know? Kind of like– Just like she did at Lance’s wedding. That’s right. As an extended part of the family. So, I mean, did you get any other correspondence that is more in line with our expectations? Well, we’re gonna try. We’ve got another one from Megan King. He said my parents divorced when I was about six years old. When my father got engaged to his now wife, my mom, sister and I went out to visit them and sure enough, my mom and my stepmother completely hit it off and have been best friends ever since. My mom was even a bridesmaid at the wedding. There you go. That’s what we looking for, Megan. You hit the nail on the head because my wife, Nancy, and my first wife, Link’s mom, Sue, they get along great and– They’re not best friends or anything. They don’t have any qualms about being together. They don’t have any qualms. No. I really ain’t sure that… You might have outdone me a little bit with your mom being a bridesmaid at the second wedding, at these other weddings. But like we’ve talked to before, hey, it’s a whole lot better when people get along because people get divorced now and it’s a whole lot better for the children and everybody else. So I think that’s a wonderful thing, Megan, and that was a good story, and if you got another one like that, send me one in. I appreciate it. I really enjoyed it. Yep. Like if her dad got to be best friends with his current wife’s ex-husband, I think that’s where this needs to go. Whereas he needs to enter the picture, right? Yeah, Link. If it’s applicable. If they don’t get along, then just let dead dogs lie. But if it is applicable and he’s– If it’s applicable. -and they get along and stuff– And then what if– -and they know about it. What if his wife’s ex-husband then hit it off with his ex-wife and then it becomes a husband swap. Dad? That’s a quandrom right there. No, that’s good. That’s like restoring order to the marital universe and keeping it small. Keeping it small. So all right, so we were paired up and then we broke up and then we got together and then all you’ve got to do is scoop, do that. So yeah, because it sounds like that her mom hadn’t got remarried, so– That’s right. See? That might be something that can happen. And then there’s four matching tattoos and they’re of me and you because we’re the ones who brought them all together. Yeah, yeah. If they want to get a tattoo of mine on your face, they’re welcome to it, just go ahead. There’s few things that are more of an honor than having your face tattooed on somebody. Would you be honored by that? Yeah, I think I’d have to be. I think that’d be pretty special if someone would’ve thought enough of me to put my face on their body. Right. It’s happened to me. And it’s wild to see it in person. Especially when it’s the whole top of their foot. Like the whole top of her foot was my face. I believe this is in Australia. You know who the top of the other foot was? Well, spoiler alert, it was Rhett. Rhett, yeah. Could have been you, dad. Maybe you can be the underside of the foot. That’d be a hell of a place to get a tattoo though. No, they’d have to go on up because I’m older. They’d go on up and put it on the calf muscle. Yeah, that’s right. Dad wants your calf muscle. It’s time for another edition of Myrtle Beach Mailbag. Well, I got a lot of stuff in the mailbag this week. Go ahead and– I love it -get into it. It says this is from Alex Roy. Hey, he’s got two first names, kind of like me and you, because you know Neil can be a first name. That’s right. That’s right. You know? Yep. I’ve had people tell me that. We’re a fan of people who have a first name for a last name and a first name for a first name. You’re our type of people, Alex Roy. Yep, that would be correct. And Alex sent this in and says, hi Charles, I’m in my bathroom. I had a towel rack on the wall. My girlfriend and I got a little carried away with our romantic time together and it broke off the wall. It broke off the wall or it was broken off the wall? You make it seem like it jumped off the wall. Like did it want to get involved or did it want to get away? No, he’d have to send us more information in about that. I know, but I bet I know what he’s talking about. I bet he’s talking about one of them racks that comes out like that. Oh yeah. You know, like one of these. just hang a towel. I also know, I bet you he’s talking about sex. Oh yeah. I would think the romantic time together, that’s exactly what they’re talking about. If you’re reaching for a towel rack and yanking it off the wall, that’s a good sign. That is a good sign. Things is getting heated up and going good. I’m telling you. So what’s the question? That’s all right. I kind of stopped listening after I started picturing the scene. But because we’re going in a whole different direction now, it says now there’s a big peel section, I don’t want to mud over the top of it in fear of it continuing to peel the mud and new paint. Should I keep peeling it until it stops or cut out a section? What would you recommend? So out of him and his girlfriend having a romantic encounter and having sex, I’ve got to teach him how to fix the wall. Hey, hey, you know what? You earned it. Oh, good God, he sent a picture. Yeah. How did it rip so much paint off the wall? Well, I see where it was at, but, well, Alex, the first thing you’ve got to do and you don’t have to cut out that whole piece of sheet rock and replace it or anything, you just need to take a putty knife, and everywhere that sheet rock is peeling where it’s been painted, scrape it off where it won’t scrape off anymore and then sand that spot real good and then start mudding it, and then you have to do this about three times, maybe even four, and then you start out with it just the width of where you got to go and then about six inches and then you go out about eight inches and then you go out about 10 inches and slick mud it back in and sand it down and paint the wall and put you a new towel rack back up. And when you put this towel rack up, put some bigger anchors in it so it might hold the next time you and your girlfriend got a little romantic by the towel rack. Got to go with them big anchors. You’ve got to go with those deep anchors. You’ve got to screw it in deep, those anchors. Sorry, dad. So that’s what I can recommend to you about fixing where you tore the towel rack off the wall. And can I interject? Yeah. If I may suggest, that whole exercise will be a lot more fun if you were having some hanky and some panky while you were doing some mudding and some scraping. You know what I’m saying? Can you combine the two activities? I mean it can be a group exercise. I don’t see why they can’t do that. That’d be fine with me. It’s in their bathroom. I mean, they they may get distracted and not get everything all muddied, it may take three or four extra days to get it all done, but sounds like a plan to me, Link. . There you go, there you go. Test it out as you go. Yes. Good luck with that, Alex and Alex Roy with two first names like me and Link. Yep. Roy. This episode is sponsored by Factor. This holiday season you might be looking for nutritious, convenient meals to keep you energized on jam-packed days. Factor, America’s number one ready-to-eat meal delivery service can help you fuel up fast for breakfast, lunch and dinner with chef prepared, dietitian approved, ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. You’ll save time, eat well and stay on track with your healthy lifestyle while tackling all your holiday to-do’s. We just got our Factor meals and Nancy and I tried them and we had some herb crusted chicken and cavatappi and Italian style pork ragu. And let me tell you, they were both very good. But what’s nice about these meals, you can just either slide them in the oven or put them in the microwave and just heat them up and they’re ready to eat. There’s not a whole lot of time going on with all this. So when you’re on a fast, like most people in this world today, on a fast schedule with what you’re doing, it don’t take much time and you get something good to eat and it’s good for you. Head to factormeals.com/myrtle50 and use code myrtle50 to get 50% off. That’s code, myrtle50 at factormeals.com/myrtle50 to get 50% off. Care about your grooming as much as me and Link do? Unleash your legendary style with Mythical’s line of grooming and personal care products. The collection features items from the hair on your face, hair on your head, and for everything else. Available now at Amazon.com/mythical. And then we’ve got another email from Tara Stout. I listen to your podcast at work and it said, and I work at Ford Motor Company, building the F-150s in Dearborn, Michigan. All right. As a lot of people know, we are on strike and money is tight. I was wondering if you had any cheap southern throw meals from your childhood. Southern throw meals? Yeah, Southern throw together meals. Oh, okay. Throw together meals. Just something to throw together. Yeah. Because I need some affordable, tasty meal ideas. Well, I kind of understand where you’re coming from, Tara. When I was growing up, there was two things that my mom and dad was able to keep in the house and they always was able to afford, and you can go get a loaf of bread and have some bananas there and you may not have Duke’s mayonnaise up there, but at least get you some mayonnaise and put it on a banana sandwich and do that with it and you can do like, to make it filling, you can do like Elvis Presley did and you can put you some peanut butter on it and where it’ll stick to your gut and you won’t get hungry again later on and do that. But it’s kind of like I think I’ve talked back on a dispatcher before, if it hadn’t have been for peanut butter and jelly when I grew up, I’d have starved to death because I’d come home from school, find the bread and most of the time we didn’t have to buy jelly because it was mom and them made grape jelly, strawberry jelly, pear jelly. Just any kind of jelly you’d want. And we always kept plenty of that. And it’s a pretty cheap meal to mix. And see, I mix my peanut butter and jelly up together. He mixes it in a bowl and then puts it on the bread. And you were trying to tell the kids. Like last time y’all came out, you were trying to get the kids onto that. Yeah. I hated it when I was a kid and you would try to get me to do it, but now I like it as a novelty. I eat so much peanut butter now, I like having a little novelty. But hey, either way you make it, if you put peanut butter on one side the bread and jelly on the other side and slap them two pieces together, you’re gonna get to eat something that’s going to… That peanut butter is gonna stick to your ribs where you don’t get hungry, and that’ll probably give you something where you can fall back on until you get to go back to work and eat what you want to then. Yeah, we wish you the best with your strike. Our heart goes out to you. Dad, have you ever had a peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwich, no banana? Like you’re making it and, oh, we don’t have any banana, and you just kept going? Yes. Hey, I have just had a sandwich with mayonnaise on it. Just a mayonnaise sandwich? Just a mayonnaise sandwich. So if things get real tight, it’s just white on white. Yep. I mean, I like mayonnaise so… I like mayonnaise too. Christy talked about how she would have a mustard sandwich once a week. Because she refused to eat hot dogs and like one night a week she would go to her grandparents’ house and they always had hot dogs. So she had a mustard sandwich on a weekly basis because they did not accommodate her hot dog restriction. And you know what? She was fine with it. You know what? That was her bed, she laid in it and I haven’t seen her just eating a mustard sandwich lately, but I bet you if I made one for her, she’d eat it. Oh yeah. And hey, I admire Chrissy. She stuck to her guns and– Everybody stuck to their guns in this story. That’s right, yeah. You had to fix your own mustard sandwich and do whatever. You know, these days people bend over backwards to get their kids to eat stuff, Dad. You know that’s the case? Yeah, I guess so. I’m setting a trap for you to start ranting about parents and their practices. Oh lord, don’t. No, we don’t need to. We don’t even need to go there. You don’t want to go there? Yeah, I mean– He’s squirming in his seat. He wants to say something. Some parents, just whatever kids want, they just give it to them and it comes back to bite them, and I’m just gonna say it, to bite them in the ass. I’m going to tell you. I mean, whether it’s about food or clothes or keeping up with this or that or anything else, it’s just– What do you think about biting your kid on the ass? Let’s go all the way. Are you for that or against it? I’m against that. Okay, good. See? I just wanted to give you an opportunity for everyone to know where you stood. See? Yeah, I’m against that. That’s good. I’m against that. But I mean, it might be that the kid bites him in the ass, because he quit giving them what they want. Oh, okay. We can move on. You averted the trap. Yep. You did not advocate for the biting of children’s asses. No. I agree. I agree. I’m on record with agreeing with that. Now it’s time for a word from our sponsor. Well Link, I got another email from James Harbaugh. It says, my whole family retired to North Myrtle Beach. Windy Hill, to be exact, which is not but about a mile and a half down the road from where I live. And it says, have you ever been to Rockefeller’s Raw Bar? It’s right on the corner of Kings Highway and 37th Street. My Uncle, Cooter, my uncle, Cooter, don’t forget that– I won’t, Dad. -is always hanging around that bar. He got the name Cooter from the story of Cooter Brown who was too drunk to fight in the Civil War. Okay. One night he got so drunk they started calling him Cooter. If you’re ever in Rockefeller’s, ask around and I bet your top dollar, they will know him. Oh yeah. So do you know, what’s it called, Rockefeller’s? Rockefeller’s Raw Bar. You ever been there? Yes, I have. Hey, this restaurant’s made it through Covid. I don’t know how many years it’s been there, but I’ve been coming to Myrtle Beach for… In North Myrtle Beach, especially, for about 30 years. And it’s been there the whole time. What about Cooter? You ever had a run in with Cooter? I ain’t checked, but you know what? I’m thinking about going, because, listen, Rockefeller’s has got some good food, but boy, if you like oysters on the half shell or steamed oysters in a bucket and stuff, oh, it’s a good place to go eat. Now, if you don’t like oysters, they’ve got shrimp and they got about any kind of seafood you want. Just regular seafood to go down there and get. Apparently they have a bar too. Oh yeah. And they got plenty… So while you’re eating all them oysters, they got a bar you can set up on and drink some cold beer with them oysters. And sounds like Cooter got into more than the cold beer down there, to get a name like that. But James– That’s great. -it may not happen in the next month, but in the next month or two when I got time with it being the holidays and stuff, I’m going back to Rockefeller’s Raw Bar and I’m going to ask about, does anybody in here know Cooter, so I can bring it back up on Dispatches from Myrtle Beach. And I’m going to see if I can’t talk to one of the owners at Rockefeller’s and tell him why I’m down there and get him interested in Dispatches for Myrtle Beach. There you go, dad. Do your work. Do my work, but keep working. Keep bringing them in. Yeah. I think everybody could use a little Cooter in their life. I was trying to see how . Okay, yeah, I was wondering because based on your reaction, this is the truth, because when I was in high school, the girls, they would call it a cooter. That’s it. Their . Yeah. The coochy. They were called a coochy, a cooter. I think that’s where it came from. I don’t think it was just the girls that called it that. At our high school, for some reason, there was a group of girls and they were real strong on the cooter terminology. And I felt like it was what girls would call their own, you know? Cooters. Female. So I was like, well, I’m gonna stay out of this one. I didn’t think it was my place to use the C word. Well, that’s– Thought that was just something they would say. So, apparently it means different things in different bars or different high schools and different places. Yep. Cooter, meet Cooter. Come back and tell us. Take a picture with Cooter. Maybe you could have a sidekick. Bring Cooter in there. He could be behind the backdrop and he could maybe have a little peephole. He’s looking through the peephole. He’s a Cooter. Nevermind. No, we better not let Cooter down here. We don’t even know him. His reputation precedes him. All right. I want you to meet this guy. Yeah, we’re gonna see if I can make that happen. All right. Well Link, you know how we have people send stuff in because they like the way I talk or they like the way you talk or– Mostly you, yeah. Yeah. And you need to say what now thing, I got a thing from Hugo Blattache. Okay. He’s French. He says I’m a French listener and I discovered your podcast recently. I love your southern accent and I’m learning a lot of slang, but I don’t want to challenge you to say French words that… Wait a minute. I don’t want to challenge– But I want to challenge you to say French words that might be hard for you both to say. Hint, they are hard. I have taken at least three years of French. It might’ve been two, but in my mind it was three. So, . Mine’s gonna be about Parlez-vous francais? That’d be about it for me. Say what now? He’s thinking. Grenouille. Grenouille? Okay, I have it here. What is this? What is the word? What does it mean? It’s a frog. Okay, a frog. Frog, yep. Grenouille, grenouille. That’s how I would say it. Not Granolaville. It’s like if Jimmy Buffet were a hiker and opened a restaurant. May he rest in peace. I’ll tell him, yeah. Okay, so I’m gonna play the– Hiking my way again through Granolaville. All right, give us the pronunciation, Logan. Grenouille. Grenouille. Oh, now that you’ve heard it, can you say it? Grenouille. Grenouille. Play it one more time for him. Listen. Grenouille. Grenouille. Grenouille. Grenouille. Okay. All right, what’s the… Grenouille, grenouille, grenouille. Too many vowels in that thing for me. Okay, the next– They need to dry their mouth out before they talk. No offense intended, but I can sense that maybe some was taken. The next one is Yaourt. And what is this, Dad? Yogurt. Okay. Yaourt, yaourt. Look at my face. First you start like this, first you start like this, yaourt. That’s my French face. Yaourt, yaourt. I think it helps if you make the face and then go, . Yaourt. No, just make the sound that I’m making. . . Yaourt. Yaourt. I don’t know. Yaourt, yaourt. Yaourt, yaourt. This is a different voice. Play that again, Logan. Yaourt, yaourt. Give it a shot. Yaourt, yaourt. Yaourt. Do this. Yaourt. No, just make the… Dad, make the sound that I’m making. Forget the word for a second. Yeah, hock a loogie. Just the first half is all we need. Yaourt. Just do that. Yaourt. Yaourt. I think that’s it. Not bad. I think you nailed it. They have a spit problem over there in France. I don’t know what it is. It’s like… What’s the next one? Kettle. All right, let’s hear it. I see it here. Bouilloire. I don’t see a V though. That’s an R at the end. B-O-U-I-L-L-O-I-R-E. That’s what I said. I didn’t put no V in that. Bouilloire. No you didn’t, Dad. Yes, you did. Two Ls is like a bouillabaisse. I think it’s bouilloire, bouilloire, bouilloire. Bouilloire, bouilloire, bouilloire. That’s good, dad. I mean, what is it? Let’s hear it. Bouilloire, bouilloire. Oh, bouilloire. Bouilloire, bouilloire. Bouilloire. We make saucy foods. All our foods are saucy and our mouths are spitty. All right, what else you got? Okay, the next one is in English is a surgeon. Okay. Chirurgien, chirurgien. Chirurgien. C-H-I-R-U. Chiru. G-I-E-N. Gien. Chirurgien. Chirurgien. Chirurgien. Chirurgien. Chirurgien. Chirurgien, chirurgien, chirurgien, chirurgien. Oh, he’s in a place with some background music. Chirurgien. Chirurgien. Chirurgien. Chirurgien. We were close on that one. Why would you want to talk to a surgeon like, oh look, it’s the chirurgien. The chirurgien’s coming in to cut me open. Yeah, I’m telling you. Oh, he’s gonna make an incision from my mouth to my cooter. Okay, and what’s the last one? The last one is rubber. Rubber. Caoutchouc. Caught a hoochie? Caoutchouc. Okay, that’s an Alan Jackson song, if I remember correctly. Way down yonder on the… Caoutchouc, that’s right. Caoutchouc. That doesn’t sound French, does it? Oh, . See, I have to do that to find French. Caoutchouc, caoutchouc. Caoutchouc. I just hurt my jaw doing that. I’m out, Dad, you’ve got to take it from here. Caoutchouc. Caoutchouc. Play it for me, Logan. He’s saying caoutchouc. Caoutchouc, caoutchouc. Now try it. Caoutchouc. Caoutchouc. Caoutchouc. Caoutchouc. Caoutchouc. Caoutchouc. Well, that’s good. So now you can use all those in a sentence. Frog, yogurt, kettle, surgeon, rubber. Even in English. See, can you even make up a sentence? Or, I don’t even care if it’s multiple sentences. Can you use all those words in a series of sentences that makes sense? Yes, if you’re eating frog leg yogurt and got it cooked in a kettle and it was not cooked right, you may have to go get a surgeon and he takes a rubber to cut your body open. There you go. Wow, Dad, mission accomplished. I don’t know what a spallet is. Is that French too? A rubber spallet? . You thought you could make up a word, a rubber spallet. Like is that a spatula? Yeah, could be a spatula. He could cut you open with a spallet? It just suddenly come off the top of my head– Yeah, that was good. -trying to put all them words together. That’s good. Frog leg yogurt. That sounds appetizing. Prepared in a kettle, apparently. frog. Oh my God. Okay. This is fun. This was good. I hope we helped the guy from France learn some good Southern and– Sorry, man, sorry. -all the other people that sent in the questions on the show, it’s fun having y’all here with us today, and don’t forget to tune in next week for another minute dispatch, and please click those follow and subscribe buttons for us wherever you get your podcasts on YouTube, and don’t forget to rate and review us on the Apple Podcast. And if you’ve got a joke, question or comment you’d like to share with me, email me at ratherbshaggin53@aol.com because come on back next week, because we want to, in two weeks, we can’t wait to spin your world around again and hope y’all did have a good Thanksgiving and getting ready for Christmas. Woo-hoo. We love y’all. All right, Dad. Yep, and I love you, Dad. Love you too. It’s been fun. It’s been a good one.