This is Dispatches From Myrtle Beach with Charles Neil and my son Link from Good Mythical Morning. How you doing Link? I’m doing pretty good, Dad. I know you’re not doing as well as I am cuz I know that we’ve been talking and you had to make a special trip back up to North Carolina to be, you and Nancy to be with her mom. Right? Cuz she’s, her health is not good, right? They basically called the family in that she’s towards the end. Yeah, she had a stroke, pretty bad stroke Monday and they just keeping her comfortable and as a lot of people knows it’s just a waiting game now. So, but I appreciate you asking. So you’ve been up there a couple of days and now Nancy’s still up there and you came back down just to record the show, right? That would be correct. Okay. So, what’s the vibe up there? Cuz I know that, you know, she’s not been in good health and she’s had some close calls with it, with it being the end before. I think I remember you were talking about how she’s not, she hasn’t been that communicative for a while. She hadn’t, she probably, she probably hadn’t talked to us and said any sentences or words or anything in probably three years. Oh, I didn’t realize it’s been that long. So what’s the vibe like at this point? Cuz you’re basically like all getting together, camping out, like the whole family’s around, right? Well, we just kind of, we don’t, you don’t really have to rush cuz they look after and we get up there in the morning and stay about six or seven o’clock and then go home, try to get some sleep and if something happens during the night, they’ll call and just see. But I mean, she’s resting, but they give her morphine every four hours or three hours to keep her comfortable where she’s not in any pain or hurting or anything. So she’ll get the twitching from where she had that stroke. And they say that’s kind of where she may be starting her because when they move her around and change her bed and stuff she kind of is pretty uncomfortable for. Wow. So- Well, I mean it’s, you know, you think about kinda like as when you get, if are fortunate enough to live to die of old age basically. Yep. You know, it’s a certain type of, it’s a certain way to go, right? I mean, when you get into the specifics of what it is that you got that’s gonna send you over the edge, send you to the afterlife or whatever, you know, it’s like- Yeah. I mean it’s, you talk about, in one sense I find myself thinking, well, you know, I wanna live to a ripe old age and then I just want to die in my sleep. You know, that’s what people say about how I want to go, you know? Yeah, that would be nice, yeah, but that don’t happen a whole lot. Yeah cuz when you get, when you’re dying of old age, it’s- You got a lot of things- Well, you know, me your aunt TC talked a little bit this morning and talked about, you know, what it’s been five or six years since papa died and we kind of sit around and had to watch with that. So, you know, it’s a- Right. I understand what you’re saying. It’d be nice if you could just turn the switch off and going to sleep. Well, in some countries you can, I think, not in this country, but- No, not in this country. Yeah, it’s like, but the dying of old age and just kind of easing out it’s not as easy as it sounds, you know? No. I mean, there’s very few ways that you want to go. I don’t know. I don’t know if there’s an optimal way to go out. You know? They say in your sleep just outta nowhere. I don’t know. I’m sorry to be so morbid, but- Me and my friend Banjo was talking about this morning, you know, when it’s your time, it’s your time. And when it’s time for the good Lord to come take you, he’s gonna come get you, one way or the other. So that’s the way it is. If you could know, would you? If somebody could tell you. No. You wouldn’t know? Absolutely not. Yeah. He ain’t gonna let you know that. Yeah. And I don’t know about these fortune tellers. I’m suspicious of that. I’m not gonna pay one of them to tell me something, then they’ll be wrong and then I’ve built my whole exit around some palm reader. Yeah, yeah, that ain’t a good idea. Yeah, don’t worry, I’m not gonna do that. Well, I’m glad you came back down to record the show. Oh yeah. And I appreciate you doing that and- Oh yeah, I told you the other day, you know, that these people out there waiting to see what me and you’s going to come up with next. The show’s got to go on. There weren’t a whole lot I could do. So, and me and hey, when we got ready to go Monday, we packed some nice clothes, like, you know, for a funeral, some stuff. I carried one pair of blue jeans and about three shirts to wear and we done been up there four days. You’ve been wearing the same pants? Yeah. Not the same underwear. I carried plenty of underwear. Okay. But and then Nancy needed some stuff that was her mother’s and so, you know, it was a good time for us to do Dispatches From Myrtle Beach. Okay. Come back and get some. Had to go back and get some britches. Yeah, that would be correct. All right. I think I’ve got to where I could take ’em off and stand ’em in the corner and then jump back in ’em the next morning. Oh, they’re that stiff? Well they weren’t quite that stiff, but they were probably getting there. I mean, I’ll go, you can go months without, the right kind of britches, you can go months without washing them. Yeah. Now, I mean, so on a happier note, I see I have a box over here. I have not opened it. Okay. So do you know what’s in this box? Oh yeah, I know, yeah, I got, that’s our Signal Award. Okay. Well you’re not good at giving gifts, man. You’re not good at surprises. You could have wait and I could have just opened the box. Okay, that’s right. Look at that. Man! That’s a beauty. Signal Award number two for Dispatches For Myrtle Beach. You’ve got your copy too. No, I ain’t got one yet. Oh, you don’t have one? That’s mine, that’s mine. That ain’t yours. Apparently it got sent to the office. Oh, seriously? I didn’t, so I didn’t, I got, I didn’t get one? Well, it’s your show. It’s my show. I mean, you got the special shelf, right? But you know, you know, last time I think mine came in and then yours was about two or three weeks later. Okay, well, all right, I’ll send this to you. We are the bronze winner in the weird category. And the listener’s choice award. That would be me and you. And the listener’s choice. We are weird and we are sending this to you so that you can put it on your shelf, all right? With the other one, that’s right. Yep and keep leave room cuz they’re gonna keep coming. I believe it. That’s right, I believe so too. Congratulations, dad. You too. We’re officially award winningly weird two years in a row. Yeah, yep. So, hey, we get this promoted up enough and the signal wars up there, you know, may get the character and see Fallon one day and bring him on the show. Can’t ever tell you. All right, I think I might be going on the Tonight Show again soon, but I- Okay. I’ve got other things that I’m obligated to promote. I understand. I’ve been promoting your other stuff. I’ll put it in a good word for you. I’ll grease the skids for a Dispatcher’s Myrtle Beach, but I gotta promote the Mythical Cookbook, you know, that thing’s coming out in a month or two and- Yeah. It’s great. I’ll definitely get you a copy. It is time for another edition of Myrtle Beach Mailbag. We got a dispatch from Courtney Hester and it’s got something that you and I have, me especially, that know a lot about it, but she’s got a thing here and says, Hey Charles and Link, my mom has recently been diagnosed with leukemia and I’m absolutely terrified and heartbroken. I was hoping to get some encouragement or advice from y’all on how to handle this because right now I don’t think I’m handling this very well. Link, does it ever get easier for your mind knowing that your dad has leukemia? I think that’s what’s so bad for me, my mind is just going in 90 different directions with this news and they aren’t all good thoughts. I’m scared for her and myself. Any thoughts, encouragement, and advice are appreciated. Well, that’s a good question. Yeah. I remember when you first told me it was like, the initial news was very scary to find out that, you know, your dad’s got cancer of any sort and leukemia is very scary. That’s, I mean, so I definitely empathize from your perspective that it’s just scary. It’s like, okay, how do I respond? What do I do? But like for you, I mean, we can go back to like how did you process it? Well when I found out I had it I was maybe Courtney, like your mother, I don’t know, there’s a lot of different kinds of leukemia and you didn’t tell me, I don’t know if you know- Right. Which kind she has cuz there’s all kinds of, there’s all kinds of treatment for leukemia, different kinds of treatment. Some can be more entailed than others. And mine was, well the words that I told Link what I told him, they told me if I was going to have a type of leukemia that I got and I have CLL Leukemia, Chronic Lymphatic Leukemia. And they said, well if you’re going to have a type of leukemia, this is the best kind to have. And I told the doctor, I said, well, that’s a hell of a thing to tell somebody but- Yeah. You know, and then they told me, said we got some medicine we’ll get you on. And then this, my Dr. Brander told me, he said, you are not going to die from this. You’ll die from something, but it won’t be from CLL Leukemia. Cuz I mean there’s been a lot of people since I’ve got it and that’s been about four and a half, five years ago that I’ve got friends that’s got it now and some of ’em don’t even have to take any, I got a friend that just got it they’re not even doing any treatments with him. But like me, when what I had to take three chemo pills a day to keep my blood levels where they need to be and where I feel like doing this and going on all these different trips we’ve been on and stuff. It has worked out for you. It has played out that way that like, you know, you’re well taken care of and it’s not gonna, you know, it has an impact on your life on a month to month basis. Oh yeah. And there’s like potential side effects of the drugs you’re taking and everything, but like the prognosis is good for you. And we don’t know what it is for Courtney’s mom, but there was that window when you had, before you had, was there any window of time where it was like you didn’t know how bad it was gonna be for you and then you, because at that point you just have to say, okay, I have to move forward and find a path forward that involves treatment and the right doctors because your mind can go all sorts of places like Courtney is describing, right? Yeah, that’s the main thing. When you find what kind of leukemia that she has, All these doctors that deal with leukemia specialize in all these special kinds. Like my CLL doctor don’t do any other kinds of leukemia. I mean there’s a MLL leukemia that my first cousin David’s wife had, she’s passed on now well it might have contributed a little bit, but anyway, so Courtney, you know, just for your mother and tell her just find ever what kind of leukemia she has. Most of ’em can be treated and they can live a full life with ’em and just get a good doctor that knows what they’re doing somewhere. And I don’t know where y’all live at and where she’s at, but that’d be my, because it took me a while to get to a doctor that knew what they were doing. Right. Probably, I think Link probably six months or so,. Right. Because the doctor’s office I was dealing with didn’t kind of do what they were supposed to and I finally ended up calling Duke myself and asked them if they had got these orders about where they were trying to get me in over there. And the girl finally found me in the computer and said, well, they sent half the stuff over here, went and got the other half. Right, yeah, I- So that’s when I think that when I kind of took the bulls by the horns and I asked that girl, I said, well, is there any way I can just do this myself? Yeah. And she said, oh yeah, we’ll take care of it right now. So that’s kind of- I think that’s a good lesson is that, you know, for Courtney, for your mom and for all of us, like when we have a diagnosis, we have a problem, it’s like you have to be your own advocate and you’ve gotta be very engaged and you just can’t do what just one person says. That’s why second and third opinions exist, but also stay having somebody who can stay on top of it and analyze it and has a mind for that type of detail and that tenacity, you know, is pretty important. And I think that as far as the emotional processing of all of it, as a daughter, you know, I think it’s, you know, depending on what the prognosis is, even if it’s a worst case scenario, you’re given some heads up that, okay, this if this is what is gonna be, if this is what is going to be the end for her, then you have a little runway, at least some heads up to react to it, you know, and that could be a blessing in some ways. Maybe it’s a small way. And I think just being emotionally available and honest and there’s times to be strong for people you love and there’s times to be vulnerable and to just be in the pain and the sorrow with them. And then making sure that you’re taking care of yourself. That might include talking to a therapist or at least someone that you love and trust who can be an outlet for you if you’re being strong for your mom, where you can be, where you can let it out and process what you’re going through, which is in and of itself its own thing that you don’t need to ignore. It’s gonna come out sideways if you don’t, it’ll come out one way or another these emotions in this experience. So I wish you the best and you know, we’re sending love to your mom and to you as you process this news. Well maybe the last thing that Courtney, my regular doctor found my CLL leukemia. And told me that I had cancer and they weren’t equipped to tell me a whole lot about it. So it was, I think what I’m trying to say is the first time you hear that you or like your mother have cancer in whatever type of leukemia, cancer or whatever it is, it is pretty tough to prognose and with what you’re feeling is not anything that I can tell you that I didn’t feel and probably Link didn’t feel that we didn’t encounter. So you’re just a normal daughter worrying about her mother. That’s all I’m just going to tell you that because I mean that’s just normal reaction to finding out somebody that you love has a type of cancer and leukemia. So I think y’all will probably be all right, but just like we said, just get you a get to a good doctor that knows what kind you got and I think they’ll be able to take care of it. So you got our email, keep us posted ratherbshaggin53@aol.com. When you kind of give us a little note and we may not say anything to you about it, but I’ll read it and see how your mom’s doing and everything. So send us a little note how she’s doing and everything. Why do you want to learn a new language? Maybe you have an upcoming international trip, want to connect with a family member or a friend, or just want to learn a new skill. In comes Rosetta Stone, the most trusted language learning program available on desktop or as an app. It truly immerses you in the language you want to learn. They’ve used trusted experts for 30 years with millions of users and 25 languages offered. Some of which include Spanish, French, German, Korean, Chinese, Japanese, Dutch and Arabic. Rosetta Stone immerses you in many ways. There are no English translations, so you really learn to speak, listen, and think in that language. Plus it’s an amazing value. A lifetime membership has all 25 languages for any and all language needs in life. That’s lifetime access to all 25 language courses Rosetta Stone offers for 50% off, a steal. It would’ve been nice for me to know about Rosetta Stone probably when I was in high school and taking French cuz I know I would’ve done a lot better with it then because my teacher and I really didn’t get along. So if I’d have had Rosetta Stone, she would’ve liked me a lot more in our class and I would probably have been able to participate and do a lot better. So that’s why I wish maybe years ago that I’d have had Rosetta Stone and could have used it for my French class. Don’t put off learning that language. There’s no better time than right now to get started. For a limited time, Dispatches for Myrtle Beach listeners can get Rosetta Stone lifetime membership for 50% off. Visit rosettastone.com/dispatches. That’s 50% off unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your life. Redeem your 50% off at rosettastone.com/dispatches today. Bret and Link made a very special throwback episode of GMM just for the Mythical Society that you can watch for free. Go watch now and get your nosgus- Oh Lord. Nostalgia. Oh, nostalgia. So go watch now and get your nostalgia on. Open to all degrees, including intimates@mythicalsociety.com. So it’s initiates not intimate. Initiates. Not lingerie. You better be glad you’re paying attention, love. Go watch now and get your nostalgia on open to all degrees, including initiates@mythicalsociety.com. There you go, you got it. Shaggin’ Around the World. Well, you know, me and Nancy’s been hard at it for the last two months we’ve been to Aruba. Oh. And now we just got off the boat about two weeks ago and we’ve been shaggin’ around world again. We went on a cruise with the Cat Five band and Too Much Sylvia. Too Much Sylvia the band. And Cat Five what? Cat Five, that’s just it. Okay, Cat Five like the hurricane, but it’s another shaggin’ band. Every time before Cat Five comes on, they got a big song that comes on and it’s got all the noise like a hurricane’s coming in and that’s how they get introduced. How does this go over on a cruise ship? Good Lord. Are there people there who didn’t like what, okay, what we gotta batten down the hatches. No, I don’t think so. I mean all, there’s a lot of other people, but they weren’t but like I think about 300 of us that signed up and went on this cruise, we had the two bands. Okay. So- So what did y’all do? Was it just every night the band would play and y’all would just shag and then the rest of the day you just eat from a buffet and lounge? Did a lot of that. Yeah, but they had something, we had the bands every day, but one day, and then we had a DJ with us too, that would play in between the bands. Be there. So oh, we had a big time oh I’m telling you. We had a good time. Where did the ship start and end? We went to Nassau to start with. What’d you do when you got off the boat? We went to Haiti. We went to Haiti the last one. Oh, you went to Haiti and I went snorkeling there. Okay, now you’re a pro at snorkeling, huh? So they let you, so you gotta get, you can’t be drinking enough cold beers that you don’t, you can’t find the boat, right? No, they weren’t going to leave my ass, I was gonna be back on there what time I supposed to be. Okay. Me and Nancy both. I won’t getting left in Haiti. That ain’t a good country to get left in. Okay, so what’s a highlight besides I guess just the shagging? Well, we had a day at sea and in between the bands playing and we sat out in the sun and then they had the world’s sexiest man contest. Is that right? Oh yeah. And could anybody enter? And you know your daddy? Of course they was some people pushing me into it, but I said I’m getting in on this thing. They didn’t have to push too hard. No, they didn’t. There weren’t no bruises on me. Nothing so- What was the prize that was up for grabs here? You just won. Bragging rights, that was it? Just bragging rights, yup. Okay. So how did you participate? You literally, you were literally pushed up onto like some sort of a stage in front of judges? Oh, there was six of us in it and I was the next to the last one and I walked up and danced. There was three girls that was judges, young girls. I see a photo now. You only have board shorts on. You don’t even have shoes on. No, I got my swimming trunks on and up there dancing. That’s it, that’s all you have on Dad. Are you holding a coconut? What’s this? You’re squatting, why are you squatting? I’m dancing and rubbing my butt on this girl trying to win the contest. Oh, there’s a woman behind you. You were doing a lap dance. A lap dance with all them girls, yep. Dad, did rub your ass on each of ’em equally? Every one of ’em. I danced in front of every one of ’em. Well, you’re getting kind of low with the second woman. Good god, dad. How how long was your performance? Ah, I think it lasted about three or four minutes. Oh, what was your- Like tell me about the competition. Like you were sizing up the other sexy guys, how did they compare? Well, they was all about 30 or let’s see, 30 years or more younger than I was and they was all bust and skin. Some of ’em was real skinny. They didn’t, they, you know, they want an old man like I was getting up their day and- None of them had what you had, which was age, which is experience. Yep. I bet you none of ’em have the tan you’ve got. And I bet you none of ’em had the body hair you have. Am I right? None of em, none of em, nope. They didn’t none of ’em have none of that. What did you have that they didn’t? One of them girls is just rubbing all over my chest, so- Okay and how were you judged? Was it cheering? They were the judges. Were they holding up numbers? How did they indicate their scores? They just told that guy standing behind us there with the muscle thing on, they judged it on three different things. I don’t remember what it was, but- Tan, body hair and age, I hope. Yeah, so that’s what I told when he interviewed me down front down there and I said, I know all them girls is probably going to vote for somebody else. I said, but they won’t never have a 71-year-old man dance in front of him like I did. And that man looked at me and said, you are 71? And I said, that would be correct. Yep. And then you did you say, do you know who I am? Did you, did you- No, I didn’t. You had the mic, that’s a big crowd. Yeah, that was a, yeah, I didn’t have, he was kind of in control like, you know, y’all are sometime with- Okay, so you didn’t get to promote the podcast, so don’t keep us in suspense anymore. Oh, wait a minute. I can’t say that. I told all the guys that was in it about the podcast and that- Like when you were in the wings, like pre-sexy? Yeah, in the wings over there and told ’em. I said, we’ll be talking about all of y’all and all us dancing in front of them girls up by trying to win the world sexiest man things. World’s sexiest man. I said y’all need to watch, y’all need to watch Dispatches from Myrtle Beach. So you only told the sexy men. Oh, that’s fine. We’ll take sexy men. Welcome, welcome sexy men, learn from the best and his son. Don’t keep us in suspense anymore. What did you win? I didn’t win nothing. I got a thing right here. Oh Dad, you didn’t win. That just says you did not win. Hold it back a little bit. There you go. So, okay, if I’m reading this right, you did not win. That’s what it says, which is all right. So who did win? Was he sexy? I mean, could you deny it? Yeah, he was pretty, he was pretty bused up and pretty, pretty sexy, Link. Okay. Yep. Hey, he put on a show when he danced. I danced and did the best, but he was doing pushups and on the chairs and all kind of stuff in front of them, I mean- Sounds like a jock to me. Yeah, he was strong. It’s more about the moves than it is about, I mean, anybody can do a pushup, but grinding that ass on a complete stranger on a cruise ship, that right there is sexy. Well, he did a lot. He did a lot of that. I’m telling you. Okay. He did a lot of so, but it was fun, yeah. You know what, maybe next year, dad. You’re the sexiest man in my book, that’s for sure. Well, that’s what I had a guy to tell me that if I’d have wore my, you said I didn’t have no shoes on, they said if I’d have wore my black and white shaggin’ shoes that I’d a won. Either that or your elf costume. Yeah, yeah. Oh man. So after that were like, people coming up to you on the cruise ship and hey, sexy old man. Yeah. Good work. Some of ’em. Right smarter people come up and told me I did a good job and thought I oughta won. You know, back when I was in high school, we had every year they would do at Harnett Central High School, they would have a Mr. Harnett Central pageant. And I entered that as a senior. And they had like sexiest legs award and then they had like the charisma award and then they had overall sexy. I didn’t win any of those, cuz I’m a, you know, I didn’t peak in high school, you know? Yeah. You know, who does that? You know? So I’m glad I didn’t win, but like, we had to do like a dance routine and we were wearing like a tux and there was a shirtless part and when it was the sexy legs part, they put like a big thing of paper up and so all you could see was the thighs and below. And then, you know, people would like flex their quads or whatever and then get a special vote. Oh yeah. But yeah, I know how it feels to not win a sexy contest. But you know what- Yeah. We know that we’re gonna peak later in life. I think you might be peaking right now. Yeah. I think we’re both peaking right now. Yeah, we might be. Yep, yeah. So maybe you won’t ever win. And I’m not gonna enter another one because I’m definitely not getting on a cruise. I am not on board for a cruise ship, no pun intended. I just don’t like the idea of it. You know, I don’t like be, I don’t like being trapped with the same group of people that I can’t get away from. And I mean, you’re not even kind of, don’t even mention the sickness of it all, I mean- Well, I know all about that. I come home and ended up with- Gonorrhea. COVID, so- Oh yeah, COVID. No. You got the clap, dad. No. What’d you get? What’d you get on that ship, dad? Just got the COVID when I got home. The COVID. You got the COVID. But hey, it was like you said you couldn’t get away cuz I got recognized several times on this ship by people who knew what Dispatches from Myrtle Beach was. Really? Yes. I love it. I love it. Yep, sure did. So people taking pictures with you. Yeah. I wonder how many people took pictures of you when you were like sleeping on a lounge chair with just your mouth gaped open just out there on the pool deck? None. I couldn’t, I don’t know. You’d have to ask Nancy that question. She might’ve been awake. Yeah. If I was sleeping, I don’t know who was taking the picture. Right. Yeah. The last day we were getting ready to go, a couple, well, a couple come walking up the hallway and they finally stopped me and said, we’ve been watching you and we know you’re Charles from Dispatches from Myrtle Beach. And I said, that would be correct. And they said, oh my God, we didn’t want to bother you or nothing. I said, no, it’s all right. So I took a picture of them standing in the hallway that the hallway we stayed on, but- Maybe I should- It was fun, but I ate- Even though you got COVID or the COVID, you’re still a fan of cruises? No, I didn’t say that. I’m asking. Well, Nancy got sick one day and had to go back to the room seasick and we bought them patches and all that stuff. Uh-huh. We don’t have very good sea legs. Mm-hmm. When we go somewhere we like to just fly there, get off our airplane. Yep. Go to wherever we’re going. Right. And have a big time for a week and not have to just, and then get back on the plane, come home. That’s what I’m talking about. So me and you’s in the same boat now. Well, no, it’s not a boat. Uh-uh. We’re not in a boat at all, dad. That’s the point. Yeah. We’re on the same beach. Yeah. But we are not in the same boat. That’s right. That’s right. So we hope that all of y’all’s having fun with us here today and we’re excited to be back because I won’t here for a little while. And don’t forget to tune in next week for another Minute Dispatch. And please click those follow and subscribe buttons wherever you get your podcast and on YouTube. And while you’re at it, rate and review us on Apple Podcasts. Yes. And if you got a joke, question, comment you’d like to share with me, email me at ratherbshaggin53@aol.com. And we can’t wait to spin your world again around next time. And then I’m gonna throw one shout out, Michael from Too Much Sylvia’s son, I’m talking to you today. We’re gonna swing your world one more time like we did on that cruise. Woo-wee. I love it, dad. I’m glad you made it back. Send my love to Nancy and the whole family is there with her mama. Love you. Love you. Okay.