This is Dispatches from Myrtle Beach with Charles Neal and my son Link from Good Mythical Morning. How you doing Link? I’m doing good, uh, on a scale of one to ten I think I’m doing, I think I’m doing eight and a half, maybe I’m doing a nine. A nine? Yeah. Well, that’s, you know, a couple of, uh, three or four weeks ago, y’all, you was probably still on, on a 10 cause you just come back from Hawaii. So that ain’t too bad just to go down to a nine and I was in the mountains, so. The way I’ve been going, I’m probably just about an eight today, but I’m doing pretty good. Two boys at eight, that ain’t nothing to sniff at. A lot to be grateful for. Oh, I’m telling. Yeah, I’m glad. I’m glad. Everything’s, uh, all peachy and cream, cause, uh, uh, Bleh. And the reason I said that, you know, me and Nancy make, have been, you know, in the summertime, we make a lot of homemade ice cream. Uh huh. And, uh, when strawberries is in, we make strawberry, and when peaches is in, we make peach. And most of the time it’s just all back and forth, but we, and this is not an ad for it, but. We had this Cousinart ice cream freezer downstairs in the house, in the golf cart room. Mm hmm. And she pulled this thing out about, you know, Two or three weeks ago, and it’s been making ice cream in this thing, and it’s just enough for us to have a bowl, or a bowl and a half, and then you can put a little bit in the refrigerator, and Link, I hope might die. She, she made me some, uh, chocolate, with Reese’s Hershey’s in it. Oh no, no she didn’t. Ooh, baby. Well, all these years of making ice cream homemade, like at Nana’s house and you making it and TC making it, never once have y’all made chocolate. No. I, I, I grew up believing that you couldn’t make homemade chocolate ice cream. That you had to buy it at the store. So why are we all holding back so much? Chocolate, peanut butter, ice cream? Yeah, and I mean, and she put some in the freezer, and she’d come in there, and it’s, and after about two nights after she’d made it, I’d done eaten it all. See, ’cause you love the fresh fruit in the ice cream. I’m not a fruit ice cream guy. That’s why vanilla has always been my favorite. I love like that homemade vanilla that y’all would always make. ’cause it would have this like saltiness to it in addition to the sweetness in the creaminess. But what, well, I, I, I am how to get some of this, your heart Now. She started making vanilla and link. Ooh. I mean to tell you, it’s the best vanilla ice cream. I even told her, I said, Honey, don’t even, I don’t even expect you to go and buy any more ice cream at the grocery store. Cause when we need some vanilla ice cream. And it, listen, you put this little can in the freezer and keep it froze. Yeah. And then when you want to make it, you take it out and where she mixes that stuff up and she’d have to give you the recipe and put it in there. Yeah. And it takes about 15 minutes to make it. And then you can eat it right in the house and got all that salt all that mess This might be the type of thing that I could make I mean Yeah all you do is you put You put you measure the ingredients and you pour it in a bowl and you mix it up and pour it in the bowl And then you turn it on It don’t take long, I mean, so. Could you put actual ribbons of peanut butter in it? Like, is that possible? Yes. This might be something that I could start cooking. I could be an ice cream cook. I feel like that’s just one step up from making cereal. Oh yeah. No heat involved. Nothing sharp involved. Right? Nope. What’s the most dangerous thing that could happen? Electrical shock? Yeah, but I mean, there ain’t much you don’t have to worry about. I mean, I won’t do it in the shower. You know? No, no. I don’t think that’d be a good place to make ice cream. Uh uh. I wasn’t even going to. I was just saying. So I could do it unsupervised. Yeah. Lando is still very, uh, much, like, fixated on cooking and, uh, mostly Asian dishes. I may have to call Lando and tell him about this, uh, machine and see what we can figure out. Yeah, if you can get him to make it for me, I do like that idea. Well, Link, we got a, uh, a follow up from Lisa, Riley’s mother. Where we talked, he was having, uh, where he was scared of, there were, there was monsters under his bed. Uh huh. And you and I talked to him about it, and I tried to help him not to make him afraid, and I came up with the thing that, and it says You, hold on, what did you say? Because I’m trying to remember. You said it, just Tell him it was Santa Claus under his bed. Yeah, so she, and I said don’t, I, well, I was not with you on this, I, I remember, right? Uh, but she says, Hey, Charles and Link, well, I showed Riley the clip of your advice about pretending Santa is under his bed. I told you not to do it. And I don’t know if it’s related, but ever since, he’s been on his best behavior. And seems to be less scared of monsters. So I guess that’s a win. Lots of, lots of love is what she put LOF. Laugh at it, but lots of love. I heard me say that and they said, I wonder if he’s waiting for Santa to come out under his bed on Christmas Eve and I’ll have to have another chat with him. I guess anyway. Thanks. I think. Right. Well, okay. So you won this battle, but the war is not over because like she said, come Christmas, he’s going to expect somebody to come crawling out from under that bed. Oh, no. Cause Lisa, you need to have. Riley, listen to this video, cause I’m gonna tell him now, you know, Santa can just be around all year long and kind of watch him, but when it gets around December, he’s got to go back to the North Pole and get all these presents that you’re being good for, and he won’t be able to stay up under the bed for that part of the month and everything, cause, and it, he won’t crawl out from under the bed, if y’all got a, Santa usually comes down the chimney, or comes down somewhere while you’re asleep, and comes in and gives you all your presents, and you don’t even need to worry about that. You just go on to bed on Christmas Eve, and, and then after Christmas is over with, you You can check and see if he might be back under your bed, but after a year of this going on, you ought to feel pretty comfortable that there’s not any more monsters under your bed, and just be thankful that Santa Claus made you feel good about not having monsters in your bed anymore. Okay. So that’s what I’m thinking. Well, I’m, I’m thinking I’m like reassessing my entire childhood because you’re really good at lying to children. It’s kind of scary. It’s like, uh, yeah, I’m just reliving all the things you told me. Well, you’re too good at it. So, cause I, you know, I’m old. I still think I tell children, I think it’s still a Santa Claus. So, you know, I reckon I am good at lying about it. Okay. Yeah. You, you, you, you, you, you won so far. Let’s. Let’s see what happens. Lisa, keep us posted, please. Come Christmas time. But thanks for sending us. Back in the email that at least you got, hey, it sounds like she’s pretty happy that she’s got a good little boy running around the house now. Yeah. Yeah. So, so far so good. So, just let us know, like Link said, uh, about Christmas, after Christmas, what goes on with Riley. See how it all works out and we’ll see who wins that time. Yeah, really. Yeah. It’s time for another edition of Myrtle Beach Mailbag. Well, Link, we got some emails and ones from Austin. Okay. And it says, Hello, gentlemen. Hello. I was watching an episode of Ear Biscuits years ago when Rhett and Link discussed using the button to in the restroom. I cannot believe I never knew this existed and it has saved my Cacky’s many times over. Charles, I’d like to see if you can guess what the button is before he tells you, though. Because it tain’t obvious. Oh, Lord. Well, the only thing, uh, A button. Mm-Hmm. in a, in the restroom. Mm-Hmm. . Saving is khakis. Saving the khakis. Uh, the only thing I know about a restroom in a button is that, you know, some commodes have a thing where you just. Flushed on the side or the front of them, but some of them’s got a button kind of up in the middle of them where you just press it and makes it Well, how’s that? How is that gonna save his khakis? I don’t know. Let’s see. Why would you have a button and he’s Saving his khakis. I’ll give you a hint. The button is not on any external device Okay. The button is on you. That’s my hint. The button is on me, so be your belly button. Nope. He gave you a hint there. Like, read the last line again. Because it taint of you. Uh huh. That’s a hint. It is? Yeah. Taint. Uh huh. Yep. Taint of you. What’s the taint? I’ve told you this now. You have? Yeah. It taints your balls and it taints your butthole. But it’s right in the middle. That’s your taint. Your tail hole. No, it’s on, it’s in between your tail hole and your scrotum. It’s in between your tail hole and your scrotum. Yeah, and that, that’s what the taint is, okay? And that’s his, that’s his, uh, hint. But I’ll go ahead and tell you. When you’re, when you’re peeing, if you, and you think you’re done, that’s And you just go, what, what do you do at that point when you think you’re done? Shake it, shake it. Now, when you shake it, you might be getting, you might be getting some, some, something on your khakis. But even if you, and if you don’t shake good, or if, if you, if there’s, if it’s shake doesn’t do it, and then you, you pull up your khakis, then you’re going to have a little dribble in your khakis, right? Yeah. You’re going to have a little dribble through your, your underwear into your khakis. Am I right? Yeah. Yep. But not if you push the button. So you just reach around in there and you just like, you just give a little, just give a little to the taint. Yeah. When you’re just down there, you just boop, just a little boop, just a little boosh to the button. Yeah. Just boop. It’ll, it’ll give a little taint. A little bit. Hee. Boop. Hee. And that’s it. I’m not saying you shouldn’t shake, but when you’re done, you push the little button. Make sure there’s not a little boop. Push the button. Boop. And a little bit like that. It’s more like a boop. So in between your thing and your testicles, you push the little button. No, in between your testicles and your tail hole, as you call it. Your tail hole. Okay. All right. He just, it just kinda. You know, you give it a little push, a little squeeze down there. It’ll send it, it’ll send everything that last little bit on its way. Oh, okay. Well, what’d you think about that? I’d like to see if I can remember this and, uh, push the button on my taint to make sure it’s working. Yeah, that’s right. It can’t hurt. Well, it can hurt if you push the button real hard, clamp down on it. You’re welcome. Well, I, you’re welcome Austin. I, I. No, I’m saying you’re welcome. I’m the one who. Yeah, you. You’re saying thank you, I think. But you and the rest, the one started it, the button in the restroom. Yeah. Yeah. Somebody told me, I didn’t come up with it. I don’t remember who it was, but somebody told me. Now I’m telling you. So you might have won the, the, uh, Santa under the bed, but I feel like I, this is my win. Oh yeah, you won. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Give it a try, Austin. Okay, yeah. Give it a try, Dad. Try, Austin. Yeah, push that button. Uh. Yeah. I got to think about this one. Uh. It doesn’t hurt. You’re wincing. You don’t have to. Oh, okay. It don’t hurt. Okay. It didn’t hurt. Rhett and Link are celebrating 40 years of friendship with a special merch drop. Shop the 40th Friendiversary pen set, which is not limited edition, and sweatshirt now at mythical. com. Why do you want to learn a new language? Maybe you’re looking to advance in your career. Want to appreciate other cultures through films, music, and art, or just want to improve your brain function? Studies have shown that learning a new language can improve memory, problem solving skills, and even delay the onset of dementia. In comes Rosetta Stone, the most trusted language learning program. Available on desktop or as an app, it truly immerses you in the language you want to learn. Rosetta Stone has been a trusted expert for 30 years with millions of users and 25 languages offered. It provides fast language acquisition with no English translations, so you really learn to speak it. Speak, listen, and think in that language. Plus their built in true accent features gives you feedback on your pronunciation. It’s like having a personal trainer for your accent. Don’t put off learning that language. There’s no better time than right now to get started. For a very limited time, Dispatches for Myrtle Beach listeners can get Rosetta Stone’s Lifetime Membership for 50 percent off. Visit rosettastone. com slash dispatches. That’s 50 percent off unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your life. Redeem your 50 percent off at rosettastone. com slash dispatches today. We got one from James and said, I would love you to watch my music video and review it on the show. I’m the guitarist in the band and I can’t wait to hear Lincoln Charles shouting, black sheep, shout it, shout out from the UK. Okay. Are we going to do this dad? I reckon so. I mean, he asked. Is this setting a weird precedent that now we’re going to have to start reacting to crappy music videos? Now, I haven’t seen it, I don’t know if it’s crappy, but I just have a feeling. I have a feeling that it’s not going to be great. We had another guy send in a song we listened to. Yeah, that’s true. And, uh, he asked if it would be a good shag song or a good song about it. So, uh, and the band name is It’s Tattoo Molly, and the song’s name is Black Sheep. I guessed that part. Okay, so. Alright. I don’t know what kind of precedent this is setting, but if you’re up for it, I’m up for it. Just a clip of it. Black Sheep! Black Sheep! Okay. We gotta do that, Dad. Black Sheep! Do it, Dad. Black Sheep! Black Sheep! Oh. Okay. Okay. Kick to the curb like a dog without a bone. It’s dramatic imagery from Tattoo Molly. What do you think, Dad? Tell me what you think. Well, it was, uh, some of that music that I’ve, you know, I think that some of these young people watch and listen to. It ain’t something that’s down my alley, but, uh It tanked down your alley? It tanked down my alley. Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, uh, James, I reckon if, uh, you’re doing good at it You just keep black sheepin with the tattoo mollies and see how it works out. That’s all I, the only thing I can tell you. Yeah. I think, I think, um, I think you got, I think you got a good voice. The lead singer got a good voice. Who was, he was the guitarist? I think you might be jealous because I saw a close up of the bass. You know. Yeah. We need more close ups of your guitar, James. I think that’s my Well, I didn’t, that’s what I couldn’t figure out. If he was, if he was just singing and somebody else was playing the guitar. I think he’s the guitarist. I could be the bass guitarist, I don’t know. Black Sheep! That’s right. I mean, but you may not like the style of music, but the subject matter. Haven’t you ever felt like an outcast? Can’t you relate? I’ve, you know, I have used that, uh, saying before in my vocabulary, that, you know, being kicked at a curb, so, uh, you know, like a, what was it? Like an old dog being kicked at a curb, so, uh. And look at you now. Yeah. Right? And then something happens. I don’t think. We ain’t going to get kicked to the curb this week. I think, I think your director made a good choice to not show a dog getting kicked to the curb, you know, nobody wants to actually see that it’s a, it’s a verbal, it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s. It’s a word picture, but you don’t want to take it too literally in your in your music video I think you made a good choice there. You showed some restraint Um, yeah More close ups of the guitar, you know, maybe maybe cut away to a black sheep occasionally that I think that would have been acceptable You know, those are my notes. Those are my notes. Yeah, or a or a man in a in a black sheep That could work. They’re in the UK. Didn’t sound like it. He could have had one of them things over his head. Looked like a sheep. A black sheep. That’s right. So, yeah. That’s right. So those are our, that’s our input. You know? Yeah. Maybe, maybe when you’re on tour, you have a couple of sheep on stage. You know, I’m just, you know, just spitballing here. You travel, travel with a black sheep. That would be cool. Yeah, I reckon so. I don’t know about that. That’d be kind of, um. He could drive the bus. He could drive the bus. Right. Yeah, two for one. Sound like y’all working pretty hard at it, so keep up the good work. Mm hmm. Yeah. Working pretty hard rock at it. You know what I’m saying? Yeah. Hard rock. Yeah. Well, Link, I got another, uh, email from Alex, and it says I have a question and something I want to tell you. My dad died when I was a freshman in high school and I’ve always wondered if he would be proud of me. I run my own business now at 28 years old and think about him all the time. Listening to you tell Link how proud you are of him on occasions always makes me think of what my dad would say to me now. My question is, What brought you peace when your dad died, Charles? And I would say you too, Link, when Papa passed away. Well, I thought about this a little bit, Alex. And when Link lost his papa and I lost my dad, it’s a whole different thing. Because we got to spend time with him until he was older and stuff. And I don’t know if I can really relate from my heart what it really feels like when you’re a freshman in high school, what it would feel like to lose my, my father. Uh, but you know, the thing that I can tell you is that when me and Link Bofus, we, we saw my dad, uh, kind of suffer and when he was really sick, Some, but when he got to where he couldn’t see anymore because of macular degeneration, and he just didn’t ever, uh, have any more joy, very little time about what was going on around him because it was, he couldn’t see and he couldn’t get up and do things for him. And when the grandkids and Lincoln and them would come and see him, he would, uh, perk up some. And be able to have a lot better disposition, but knowing that after when he got sick and with the different things that went on with him and that when he, when he passed away, that I knew that he, and this is just, this is what I believe, that my dad went to heaven and when he got there, he could see. And he could, he was in a environment where he didn’t have to worry about being sick and us taking mama and Teresa and everybody taking him back to the doctor. And we didn’t have to worry about what was going on with him. And, and it gave me peace that he knew where he was, that he was going to heaven and that he was in a better place. And that’s just, that’s That’s how I feel about, uh, what happened to our, my dad and Link’s granddad. Yeah, there’s a lot of comfort in that. And also that he lived a long and, uh, you know, fruitful life. And he, he, he communicated how much he loved us and was, and supported us and was proud of us a lot through his life. So, you know, I, I do feel for. Anyone who lost their parents when they were younger, it’s such a formative time because we did, we were able to benefit from that, you know, and I’m able to benefit from that, uh, from you as well, you know, um, you know, because he was in law enforcement and he was always in, I mean, potentially in harm’s way. Was that something that when you were younger, that it, were you ever anxious about that, that. I mean, that something could happen to him in the line of duty? Well, I, you know, um, I thought about that some when I was growing up and after I was Uh, in my 20s and 30s and I guess even 40s when he was still a police officer that, that something could happen to him, but, uh, I didn’t dwell on that a lot cause I knew how much my daddy and your papa loved what he did. Yeah. And if something happened to him, he, he was doing what he loved and, but your, my daddy and your papa in the age that they grew up. He could get along with all types of people and whether it was people that didn’t break the law and people that did because I don’t know how it was and I think we, we have a little bit of that in us because we can relate and talk to people, but he could, they were in a bad situation with some of the people that had a gun and was going to do something. A lot of times, especially when that is with the sheriff’s department and the police department. That they’d call him and let him, cause he knew these people most of the time, and those people even though they were criminals, they respected our daddy, my daddy and your granddaddy. And he could talk to them and tell them it just weren’t worth. And they would listen to him, and most of the time, they just turned themselves in. Come out and they turned herself in to daddy. So, you know, it was a thing that he was really good at what he did and I didn’t, you know, Something had to happen. I think it worried mama More than it did any of us. Mm hmm, you know knowing that he might not come back when he went out to work sometime. But I don’t, I mean the only thing When I was young, I remember that there was that he had pulled somebody over on the bridge and then he was out of the car and then a bread truck came along and hit the car, the police car, but that, you know, it was more like a traffic stop type thing that, and that was, that, that could have killed him. Oh, yeah. Hey, that, hey. The good Lord, somebody was looking at him that day cause he had time enough to see what was going on that day that he jumped back in the police car instead of a standing beside the road for the car could run over him. And then that’s when it hit him and then went across the road and almost. Went across the river bridge down in the river. Oh, wow. Were there other times when he had, like, a brush with death as a police officer? Like, gun play or any of that type of stuff? Well, I know of one time, especially, and I don’t know whether or not to do this or not, but, but he was the detective with the Sheriff’s Department in Hornet County. And there was a man named and he lived up where I used to own a farm at Raven Rock. So, uh, And that’s where he lived and this dude, he had been in prison for killing somebody and got out and had done some stuff wrong and everything and, uh, he, he was barricaded in his cell. mobile home and all the, a bunch of deputy was up there and they had a warrant out on him for his arrest for something else he’d done. And I don’t even know if daddy was working that night, but they called daddy on the phone cause daddy knew this man. And that was the, one of the times that, uh, they called him up there and daddy told me later on, he said, that’s a scared, as I’ve ever been in my life, for my life. He said, well, cause I, I knew who was and that he killed somebody before and that he would probably do it again. But they said, I went up there and talked to him and, um, told him that it just wasn’t worth what he was doing. And he told him, he said, you know, you’re going to have to go back to jail, but you might as well just come instead of killing me or somebody else. You might as well put your gun down and come on out. And he told, he told my daddy, he said, if it won’t for you coming up here, this would be a blood bath tonight. Cause he said, I’d made my mind up. I won’t coming out of here. And he threw his gun out the thing and come out and turn himself in and they locked him up. Well, that’s a cool story to hear. I’m glad, I’m glad I asked. It’s always good to, to remember Popeye and think about him cause we love him so much. So Alex, I think that. With you being successful in your life now, that somehow or another your dad has looked down on you and that he’s proud of you for what you’ve done and endured since he passed away when you were in high school. And we’re proud of you, Alex, for what that’s worth. I don’t know exactly what you do. But, uh, but, uh, you better make us keep making us proud now. That’s got, you know, like I said, that’s got to be when you’re a, just got to be a teenager that when you lose your father and then sounds like he pretty much him and your mother, I guess, raised you pretty good before then. And he, he had already instilled in you some things that You knew what you needed to do, and you’ve been successful because of some of the things that he did for you in your lifetime. There you go. You can send us another email in with what you think about what we talked about, and I’d appreciate it. Well, Link, it was fun having you all here with us today, all you Myrtle Beasts, and we’ll be back next week for another one. And don’t forget to follow and subscribe whenever you get your podcast on YouTube. And while you’re at it Rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, and if you got a question, a comment, or a story you’d like to share with me, email me at ratherBshaggin53 at AOL. com, and y’all have a great rest of the week, and we can’t wait to jam out in the jungle again next time. Jam out in the jungle? Yeah, that’s right. Yep. Thanks for listening. Thanks, Dad. Love ya. Love ya.