Hello, Mythical beasts. Starting next Saturday, Ear Biscuits, the video versions are going to be on the Good Mythical Morning channel every Saturday instead of being on the This Is Mythical channel. Audio version still comes out every Monday and then on Saturday on the Good Mythical Morning channel from here on out. – And many of you are asking probably right now in the comments and have been asking in the comments for the past few weeks. Well, what exactly is happening with the This Is Mythical channel? And the very transparent and honest answer is we don’t know. We don’t know exactly what the future plans are. We just know that we think what we wanna do right now is put Ear Biscuits over on Good Mythical Morning. And we’re still figuring out a lot of things that we’re trying and so thanks for being a Mythical beast and coming over to the Good Mythical Morning channel to keep watching Ear Biscuits. – Yeah, I’ll say that we have no plans to change Ear Biscuits from what it is and it’s becoming otherwise. So the fact that it’s on a new channel does not signify any change in Ear Biscuits itself. It’s just simply moving over to the other channel. So there’s nothing to conjecture about there. It’s just as simple as we wanna give people an opportunity who may not have been listeners or watcheners of Ear Biscuits. – Watcheners. – Ear Biscuits to know about it and to keep it in the stream of Good Mythical Morning as an extension of our friendship and what we do on the show but in all the ways that Ear Biscuits is different. – Yeah, when we know what we’re gonna do, we’ll let you know like we always do. We try to stay in constant communication with you guys so just keep watching and listening and we will inform you as we know. – In the meantime, enjoy this week’s Ear Biscuit and next week, look for it on the Good Mythical Morning channel. Welcome to the inaugural 2018 Ear Biscuit. I’m Link. – And I’m Rhett. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we’re going to be talking to one another about our break. – We gotta catch up, right? It’s one of those times. – Catch up. Because we– – Catch up, set it up and knock it down. – We haven’t we haven’t spoken a whole lot. We’ve already done quite a bit of work. We haven’t spoken– – Just over the few days. – We haven’t spoken that much about what we did because we don’t spend time together over the holidays as a policy. – Yeah, of course we both go home to North Carolina in order to see our family. And we each have the things that we do which will be part of us. We’ll clue you in on that. – The things that we do. – As we give each other updates but one of the things we don’t do is get together or speak to each other or like if we happen to run into each other, that’s gonna be just happenstance. – Yeah, we’re– – There’s certainly no work happening. – Which happen. – We’re very strict about that. – Which did happen, randomly which we will talk about. – Well, the first thing is we booked our flights to go home independently and then we find out weeks before we go home that we’re on the same flight. – Well, that’s a little bit of an oversimplicication. – Is that what happened? – No, our books, our books. – We said we wanted to go home the same day. – Our flights were booked for us. – And then the flight were booked. – And the person who booked the flights was like, well, I’m gonna put them on the same flight. – We independently chose the same day to go home and we chose a different day to come back. – Incidentally, the same flight that Guava Juice was on. – Yeah, we saw– – We had a very juicy– – The GJ. We call him GJ. – GJ. Can you think of any? That’s a shortening of a name. – Terminal. – No one ever says. Like, GJ. Because it sounds like you’re calling somebody DJ but you have like a speech impediment. – You can’t talk. – GJ. But we did see GJ, got some got some pictures with him. No, we didn’t. People came up and got pictures with him. – And we watched. It was awkward for us. – Yeah, we watched that. – We didn’t talk about it. – I did get a picture with a very, was the very tall basketball player, was that that trip or was that a different trip? – No, that was like one of the last stops on the Tour Mythicality. – I was just trying to give myself some sort of validation. Like somebody came up to us and wanted a picture of us. – There’s somebody also wanted to picture with me. – Nobody wanted a picture with us. – Nobody. – They all want a picture with GJ and that’s it. – When you’re in a group with so many kids, it’s like oh that must be like a school group. – A school. – Like why would I want pictures with those chaperones when I can get a picture with Guava Juice? I think is what everyone in the terminal was thinking. – So. – And then we got on the flight. – Oh, you wanna talk about the flight? – And we didn’t talk to each other ’cause once we cross, once she went into the sky, that’s when it began. We’re on our separate holiday. – Where our vacation begins. – I wouldn’t call it vacation. I think we went into that before we did it. Like we anticipated that this is not called vacation, this is called a family reconnaissance mission. I love my family. And I can still say that on the backside of being there. – Yeah, but I actually got– – But I did not vacate. – I got some, you can be a little bit jealous because I got some alone time. That’s the way it worked out for me for a couple of days. – I used the restroom by myself. I took showers alone. – Long showers. Long bathroom trips. – I’ll put that down as a complaint, actually. – I actually, so one of the things that happened to me. – The showering alone part. – Is we stay with my sister-in-law which incidentally, I mean point number one is I am sharing a bathroom with teenage boys. And that’s not something– – Two of them? – Well, if you count my son, three of them. Three teenage boys and then a nine year old. You think when you get the, I’ve already met two teenage boys. Yes. – How many sinks are in there? – There’s two sinks. – Okay. – But it wasn’t like one is designated the teenage boy sink. Boy, that would have been convenient. I should have thought about that. I should have written that over the sink with a lipstick or something. – They have lipstick in there? – I’m sure I could have found some or maybe I just printed it out. Teenage boys, use this thing for whatever purpose you use sinks for. – I don’t think it would be nice to start designating who sink is who and someone else’s bathroom. – But just taking a shower in a place that a teenage boy showers, it’s just not something that, I just not something I’m interested in. I mean I have a different bathroom for my kids for a reason. Because they disrespect the bathroom. You know what I’m saying? It smells weird in there all the time. They cannot hit the toilet. – To save their life. – With their pee stream. – Yeah, I mean I’m taller than they are. I’m further away from the toilet than they are. I still hit it every time. – You got more experience. – I got a lot more experience. – I mean if you make them clean it up a few times. Do they have to clean up their own piece of bladder? – No, I do! – You did? – Yeah! – Well, I do that here. Listen. – You’re not cleaning up after me. – I cleaned up the toilet. – I am like a freakin’ bull’s eye every time. – Yesterday. I mean I rummaged under the sink and I got out the sprayer and the brusher and– – You know, when I come to think of it, I cleaned off the freaking rim of the toilet just not 17 minutes ago. – I saw that and that was after yesterday, I cleaned the whole toilet. – In the stage bathroom? – In the stage bathroom. – The stage bathroom, somebody had a big old, just circle of piss. – A dollop of it, yeah. – It had dried. – I looked at that. – So what that means is that somebody did it. You could clearly see that it was there and then they let it dry and that means other people saw it. – I don’t know if you see it till it dries. – Leave it to me you come in there and– – I’ma give it to the benefit. – Wipe it down. – I’m gonna give them the benefit of the doubt. – That’s not my job anymore. – Did you do it? – Yes! – And I did it too. We’re dads. – No, we’re cleaning the toilets in our own company. – We literally. – Something’s wrong here. – Yesterday, I cleaned the toilet. And today, you clean the same toilet. Did you use the Lysol spray and then the brush? – I didn’t get that into it, man. – Well, what do you mean? You scrunched up toilet paper and use your hand? – Yes. – There’s a brush with a handle right beside you. – No, listen, you gotta understand. It wasn’t a full commitment toilet cleaning. It was literally like, I gotta pee. I need to get to wardrobe to change. But there’s this pee dollop there and I feel like I should take care of it so I did that quick– – It really bothered me. – The quick rip ball up and wipe. And then wash. – Oh, yeah. – Yeah, ’cause even though I don’t think I came in contact with the piss dollop, I just feel like it probably could have contaminated me. – I thought about putting a sign. But signs in like an environment like this don’t do any good. I mean we had signs on like don’t leave dirty dishes in the sink and that hasn’t worked for two years. – That’s still there. That’s still there though. – The sign’s there but it doesn’t do any good. – You mean like office signs, corporate office signs? – Yeah, are we getting that corporate? It’s sad. – We had had those for years, man. – I mean I literally, the thoughts that were going through my head were if I put up a sign and it said whenever you’re done using the toilet, look down at what you’ve done to it. Like don’t just get up from the toilet, flush and assume it’s a happy ending. You gotta turn around and look at what you’re leaving behind. – This won’t work. – And I don’t– – To telling this. – Well it’s not a pithy sign. I got to wordsmith it. But, it’s like when you’re done, turn around, son. What about that? – They do make, like a Cracker Barrel. – Look at what you did. – At Cracker Barrel, they make these kinds of signs. – And it’s a little humorous so it takes the edge off. That doesn’t help. I’ll put a name on it. – If you sprinkle, when you tinkle. What is it? If you sprinkle when you tinkle. – If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat. – Yeah, exactly. Cracker Barrel has already thought of this, man. Incidentally, I went to Cracker Barrel over the break. Cracker Barrel was recently, it’s not a sponsor but they were recently voted. There was a dude that went out and tried all the fast food restaurants. The chain restaurants. Not fast food but chain restaurants. – A dude? Like a journalist? – Like a real restaurant person, critic. This is second hand second hand at this point but all I know is that the second hand second hand boiled down version of this story. – This is not like a Tasty producer. – No, is this like something like, the buzz of the story, the hook of the story is professional restaurant critic legitimately reviews fast food, not fast food, chain restaurants. And Cracker Barrel was on the list and like IHOP was on the list. And Cracker Barrel was the top. – Oh, first of all that sounds like fun. – There’s also a new hipster Cracker Barrel. Somebody look this up. – Hipster barrel? – No, the people who make Cracker Barrel, again, this is like third hand third hand. – You don’t know what you’re talking about. – So y’all look that up. The people– – They’re gonna Google hipster Cracker Barrel? – Yeah, because the people who make Cracker Barrel are making a new restaurant and it’s like supposed to be the hipster Cracker Barrel. – Holler & Dash. – Holler. – And where is it? – Is that one word? Holler & Dash? – And is it multiple locations? Really like doing a test. – Is it like Holler Dash. Holler, apostrophe– – Holler & Dash. – The letter N space Dash? – Ampersand. – Oh, ampersand. That’s hipsters like that. – Holler & Dash. – And where is it? – She’s trying to figure it out. – Okay, let’s see it. Oh, it’s on Alabama? – Alabama? – Is it Birmingham? – Birmingham, probably. – Oh, I don’t know that. – Homewood, Alabama? – Birmingham’s got some hipsters. – Okay, yeah, yeah. There’s some greased mustaches in Birmingham, certainly. – So where were we? Sharing a bathroom with teenage boys. Not something that I would choose to do. – But you’re being hosted, man. I mean, you can’t– – No, no, I’m not complaining, am I? Yeah, I probably am. – This is the first year. – I love my nephews. – I think I set this up that night. We got to stay in my nephew who’s two years old. – Did he pee all over the seat too? – He’s two and a half. He does that in a diaper. – Oh, that’s better. I actually given diapers to these guys. – But our entire family shared his bathroom which has one sink and then like a Paddington the bear shower curtain. – Do you pee on that? – Paddington Bear. I don’t know if there’s a the, that might be Yogi the bear. – Yeah, I think– – Now it’s Smokey the Bear, Yogi Bear and Paddington Bear. – Paddington Bear. – Paddington. – Paddington. – It’s Paddington. The bear. – Paddington who happens to be a bear. – So the thing that, since we’re since we’re talking about using toilets. We went there. – Yeah, we just roll with it. – And just to the right of the toilet is like a basket with all of the stuff that you bathe the two-year-old with. – Right, yeah things that float. You got to constantly distract him in what’s actually happening. – I have immaculate aim when it comes to doing number one but even I know, and I am not above admitting this that I, along with everyone else, does an imperceptible spray even when you have immaculate aim. – Mike Rowe talked about this. – It’s everywhere. – About some special at one point. And the amount of kickback that goes throughout the room. – Right, you wanna flush with this, you won’t put the lid down and then flush. – Just flushing alone. – And then it’s still not doing a lot of good. – You just needed to just get out of the bathroom. Flush and run. Holler & Dash. – What I didn’t them and Lincoln and Lando were both peeing into this toilet and Nehemiah, my two-year-old nephew’s bath toys is right there beside the toilet. – Oh, get showered. – And yeah, I moved them. – [Rhett] Yeah, good. – But then, I found every day they’d be moved back. So I think what they would do is, my sister-in-law will go in there and she’d put everything back or something. – Do your boys do a good job yeah with the peeing? – No, the toilet seat in their bathroom at my home right now, I went in there to lift the seat and it came off in my hand. They’ve peed the seat literally off of the toilet. – I don’t think that’s related. – I don’t know how they did it. – That’s a structural issue. – So every time that I go, if I’m like doing stuff in their neck of the woods and I gotta use the bathroom, I’ll go in there and I always lift the seat and I’ll have to like prop it up either against the back or against the wall. I don’t know what they’ve been doing. – Yeah, I’ve only peed in my in my kids bathroom once in two years. – And I need to talk to Christy. – I did it one time it was like I’m never doing this again. I will go out the window before I come in here again. – Our first stop was, of course, we get off the plane. And I’ll let you get back to your in-laws too. I’m just gonna pepper this in there for chronology. Of course, I get off the plane and I don’t remember seeing you, I think you were gone. – Yeah, I left you. – On the North Carolina side of things, I do not remember. Oh no, we walked out rental to like take the shuttle to our cars. And we were in two different rental cars so you get in a shuttle bus and take off. – Did you ever get your rental car? Could you use some company that– – I used Jenk company and it turns out they were like a subsidiary of the place you went on the first shuttle and then 20 minutes later when no shuttle showed up, I realized I was supposed to get on your shuttle. – Oh, do use Payless? – I used, it was called– – I used the Avis and then Avis bought Payless but they don’t treat you as well. – And as I pulled up in the shuttle– – ‘Cause they know you wanna pay less. – Yeah, they didn’t treat me good. When I pulled up, I saw you leaving. And I was like are you kidding me? I could have been on this shuttle 30 minutes ago. – Avis preferred man. I just rolled up and got right in my car. – Got in the van and then my wife and I have a superpower. And it’s put me in a vehicle or in any enclosed environment where there’s been cigarettes smoked at any point, half a cigarette, quarter of a cigarette and we will know it. – I don’t think that’s a superpower. – It is and we got in there and my kids are like bouncing off the walls, ready to get to where we were going and Chris is like mm, and I’m like I get it after I’m like, yep, we get back out and we like take another 20 minutes to get another car because we both get instant headaches and it’s like had cloth seats. – Oh. – And it was all in there. – You really went for the cheapo. – I mean we are really complaining on this Ear Biscuit. I’m sorry guys. Like nothing has been positive. But this kind of redeems it for us so just bear with us. There’s no redemptive element to the story I’m telling. Just complaining about it redeems it for us. You have no benefit in listening to this unless it entertains you for some reason. What was I saying? Okay, so the we get in the car. Finally, we get in a different car. And our first tradition is we go to Cook Out and I get that burger and that peanut butter milkshake. The best milk shake on the planet. – You go straight to Cook Out from the airport. – Yes, because we have to drive all the way to Kinston, North Carolina. – Right, ’cause you have to go to Kinston. – To Christy’s parent’s house. – Right, and so I can’t do that. Not necessarily would just go to a fast food restaurant but we meet a family at a home. And this time, we went straight to my brother’s house and they had Bojangles for us. – ‘Cause it’s your mom’s birthday, right? – Yeah, on the 22nd. It was my mom’s birthday. – Right. I have to tell you this? You were they are celebrating. – Yeah, we didn’t do anything ’cause we got there kinda late so it wasn’t like super special occasion. Also, she’s like 71 now. It’s not as big as 70. – Who’s counting? – Maybe it’s 72. I’m not even counting. See, I don’t even know. – Is she counting? – I think she quit counting. – Okay, well then it’s fine. – Got that peanut butter shake got back on the road. I did notice once I got to my in-laws that we’re all sharing and Christy’s sister and her husband and my nephew, they’re all they are too. And we’re all sharing a bathroom with one toilet, one sink in that place for two nights. And that’s like a circus. And I noticed that I took my toiletries. I’m getting back to the toilet now. – I took my toiletries. – Yeah, let’s go back there. – And when I was done using them, I would put them in the closet and hide them. So like no one has a chance of using my toiletries, no one has a chance of micturating and then it’s gonna settle on my toilet. – You hid them? – Yeah, I mean out of respect too. There’s so many toiletries flying around. – I definitely– – You don’t wanna leave them. So I don’t have to push them out of the way when they brushed their teeth. – Oh, without a doubt. I completely. – Contained. – Sealed my toiletries. I would bring them with me. I would use them and that would reseal them but I didn’t hide them. – I noticed that Christy. I noticed that her toiletry bag in an effort to be respectful to everyone else’s space, she would take her toiletry bag and she would put it in the corner of the bathroom which happened to be just to the side and behind the toilet. – What? Did you talk with her about this? – And I moved it. And again, I went in there next day and it was moved back. And I forgot to tell her. Maybe she’s listening. Christy, don’t do that. And I also to her sister Britney. Britney, don’t put Nehemiah’s bath toys around the toilet when we’re in town. ‘Cause this stuff getting sprayed. – Yeah, and where does she put them? – She kept putting it back there. I didn’t tell her. I keep forgetting to tell her. It’s not my place to just go off on a rant. That’s this place. – Right, you do that on a podcast. – Right. – Okay, well we’re gonna keep talking about our trips back to North Carolina. – Hopefully, we’re gonna move on from toilet. – No more toilets. – Can we go out off the toilet? – No more toilets, but first– – But we’re gonna turn around and look at what we’ve done. Let’s look at what we done on the toilets and say okay, everything’s cleaned up, we’re not going back to it. – Is this a metaphor? – Yeah, I’m putting into practice what I said I want people to do here at the office. – Okay. – Look back at it. Like that rap song. – That’s the moral of the story. – Look back at it. – Alright, I’m gonna hand you something, Link, that I want you to hold up. – It’s getting warm in here too. Can you flick that down to just turn the heat off? Man, it’s like feast or famine in this room. – You know what, yeah. – Another thing we’re complaining about. – No, but seriously. – It’s so hot in this room. – In this room. – Is it cold or it’s hot? – Yeah, what is it? The barometer and the thermometer that tells it? I don’t know, I just made that up. The range of that thermometer, thermostat is not good. Okay, but you know what is good? The Tour Mythicality poster. – Commemorative merch. – We’ve got Tour Mythicality poster and the Tour Mythicality t-shirt. Very similar. The poster is made of paper and the shirt is made of cotton. – But the stuff on them is similar. – But we also have the dates. – You wanna commemorate our tour or this shirt. Just have a shirt. You don’t have to commemorate anything even though that’s what it does. Go to a mythical.store and get this. We’re gonna hook you up with some stuff that you need to check out. We’re always adding stuff to that store. – Now, you talked about your trip to Cook Out. And I thought about Cook Out and as I was saying earlier, I had a little free time. I’ll tell you how the free time came about. So we stay in the same place the entire trip because all of my family is, you know– – Doesn’t love you. – They’re within a 10 to 15 mile radius out of this central location in Fuquay-Varina, North Carolina. So I don’t have to travel all over North Carolina. We were like a home base, essentially. But my kids, but basically what ended up happening this time is my boys ended up going to my brother’s house. So they got cousins galore, right? And they got cousins that are boys. – Their contemporaries. Yeah, it’s just cool. – Yeah, and they just love playing with him. And then Shepherd loves playing with my niece, Adeline. They’re about the same age and they’re totally into the same stuff and they just wanna play all the time. Adeline is like wants to be outside constantly and Shepherd absolutely loves that. – That’s great. – So they’re like two peas in a pod. They’re spending all this time together and then my sister-in-law, she’ll like text me and be like, “Hey, if the boys wanna stay here again tonight, they can.” And I’m like yes they do. – You don’t even ask because they love it. – And they do, and they wanted to stay. And then Jessie was like, “Well I’ve got these friends that I need to see.” So I started seeing my family begin to disperse. – What about your friends? – I wasn’t gonna say anything. I was like well, I’m not gonna make any plans. Because eventually, you’ll all be gone. And I’ll just be left alone. And I don’t even think they realized that they left me. And also my my sister-in-law and brother-in-law and their kids, they had to go to some event in Western North Carolina so I just found myself alone in the home. I was like– – Like Home Alone 5. – This hasn’t happened in years. I’m alone in a home. There’s two dogs. – That’s fine. – They don’t talk much. – And so, I was like, well what am I gonna do with this? I had to basically two days of this. – What? – Yeah. so therapeutic. – I hate you. – Well the first thing I did is I played through a game on my new iPad. I don’t know I put quotes around iPad. – Is it a generic iPad? – No, it’s a real iPad. – I’m getting like tears of jealousy. This eye is welling up, like a tear of jealousy. – My wife got me for Christmas an iPad, an iPad Pro because I’ve been talking about how I kinda wanna make a transition to using an iPad more than just using a laptop. One of the reasons being the Apple Pencil and doing stuff in interacting with the pencil. – I don’t even know Apple had a pencil. – Haven’t I shown you this? You can freaking write on an iPad like you’re writing in a piece of paper and it looks exactly like your handwriting. It’s phenomenal and fascinating. Because I like to– – Fast forward to six months, I got a pencil and then Rhett does not his and I’m using it. – Oh, no, no. I’m gonna use it. – Okay. – I’ve been using it. Now, because I do a lot of– – Is it called pencil? – It’s called the Apple Pencil. How’d you miss this? – I don’t like to be distracted by stuff. – Okay, it’s been out for a while. This is not a new thing. This is like two old farts. I’m talking about something from like three years ago at this point. – Well, then keep going. Keep going. – But basically, what I wanted to do is I don’t know I’m defending the purchase of an iPad. It’s a perfectly normal thing. – Do you have to sharpen it? – Yes, you have to sharpen it. Maybe that’s why it quit working. – I mean that would be pretty cool if you had to sharpen it. Talking about hipster Cracker Barrel. – It’s been scientifically proven. – Hipster pencil. – That writing things down as opposed to typing things causes you to remember them better. And so if you take notes just with your typey types, it doesn’t lodge in your brain in the same way that it does if you, there’s a physical connection in the way that handwriting brings about a physical connection with information. So I like to take notes and like write thoughts and stuff but I’ve got these books. – That’s why I use canvas, not MS Paint. – And I’ve got a lot of like little like Moleskin books and stuff and I’m kinda in this and that. But I can’t access them by the date and stuff unless I flip through them. But the cool thing about this is I can like journal. – What a drudgery that is. – I can like journal or take notes but then, I can also be like I don’t feel like writing my hands tired. I’m gonna type and it puts it all into the right place. – In the cloud too so if California burns away. – Exactly. – Or mudslides into the ocean then you still got your necessities. – But then, I was like, you know something I don’t do? I don’t play any games because we fill all our time with working or with hanging out with family. And so I was like I’m going a play a game on the iPad. – So you were like okay pencil, recommend a game. – No, it’s not how it works. – It doesn’t talk too? – No, it’s only $200. It’s not like a $2,000 pencil that listens to you. – Well, that’s what I’m getting. – So I said I’m gonna go and I got that this game. It’s an old game. It’s like a 2012 game called Limbo. That is this like award-winning, beautiful side-scroller puzzle. – 2012? – Yeah, but it’s just, you guys ever heard of this game? It’s this great, it’s an incredible game. That’s like you’re this little boy character but it’s all black and white and it’s like dark and you get killed in all these different ways. Like I died like a thousand times in this game. But you don’t really know when you’ve like gotten to a new spot in the game. Because it’s just this world that just continues and it’s relatively short so you can play through it in a couple of days. – A couple. So the so you were alone and you downloaded this game. This was the choice. This is what you were gonna do with your day. – Yeah, I was like I’ve never done that. I hear there are people who just sit down and play video games for like hours. What is it like to be that kind of person? I’m gonna find out. – Like if it were me, I’ll be like okay, I’m gonna make my drink and it’s gonna be special and I’ma sit in a special chair and I’m gonna wear my special PJs. – This is how you talk to yourself? – In my mind, yeah. I would get everything right like did you– – To play a freaking game? – I mean if I was gonna be that alone for the first time in years, to do something that only normal people do and not. I mean in the way you’re thinking about it. Like playing a game for fun. – Special PJs? No, I just sat down on a couch and played it. – All day. Did you drink a special drink? – I drink several drinks but they weren’t special. They were just for sustenance so I could keep playing that game. – Okay. – But I beat the game. I only consulted the internet twice. – How long did it take? – I don’t know. – I mean did you do it in that one day? – I didn’t finish in those two days. I finished over the break eventually. After I started it, I kept going back to. I don’t know, 10 hours? It’s probably a lot, probably total, I don’t know. But I kind of concluded that, I don’t know if I wanna do that again. I think the moral of the story is I got through beating the game and I was like, and I’m gonna be very vulnerable here. I almost cried. Yeah, the game was so beautiful. – You kept you kept being murdered on a like moment by moment basis. – And it was a beautiful thing. And at the end, the way that, it’s just a beautiful game and in the way that the game ends and you solve the last puzzle in just goes into slo-mo and then you get up and there’s this spoiler alert. It’s from 2012, who cares? There’s a girl and she like looks up and I was just like– – Is it animation? – Yeah. – Like this part is not like– – No, it looks like it’s just more of the game. But the game’s so beautiful that I found myself like almost crying and then I was like I don’t know if I wanna do that again. I mean it was pretty satisfying but I kind of feel like I wasted time. I probably should have been coming up with things. – I think that’s important to not come up with things. I mean we talked about that. – Yeah, that was one of the things ’cause we’d worked so hard in 2017 that I just don’t wanna do the thing that I always do which is just work. And I’ve been doing this, you know enneagram test stuff, the personality test stuff in like which, I wanna talk about on the podcast at some point. But I don’t wanna give a short shrift. Whatever shrift is, right now. – It’s like Bitcoin, I think. – But basically– – No one’s gonna believe in it but then it’s gonna be pretty amazing. – There’s like a personality testing that we’ve gotten into enneagram. It’s really awesome. We’ll talk about it later but one of the things that– – And by we, he means him and his game avatar, self. – And one of the things that’s true about my personality type and this is also true about your personality type, it’s different is this feeling of if you’re not working, you’re like worthless. – Yeah. – So like long periods of inactivity or just vacationing or just hanging out. You feel like you have to give yourself homework. – Restlessness, yeah. – So it’s very difficult to just stop and play a game. It’s very difficult for me to do. – But for a creative people. – You gotta fill the tank, man. – You gotta fill the tank with something that is aimless. – And I wanna hear from you in a sec. I just wanna get to this point because the whole point of the story was it’s a about how was I alone. – I’m already very jealous. Please keep going. – I went to Cook Out. – Oh, you did get a special drink. – Yeah, no I didn’t get it, no. – You got a special burger. – I didn’t get a milkshake. I gotta say, man. It’s good but it’s just not what, you built it up too much. I mean I went there, I got the burger. – Did you get cheddar slaw but did you replace the cheddar with sliced cheese? – Okay, a burger doesn’t have to have all these very specific choices in order to be a good burger. I got the Carolina style burger with cheese added. – Never had that. – Okay, but I mean, it’s all the things that I like. It’s a good burger. – People have told me, “Well, you gotta go back “and get the chicken sandwich.” It was really good too and I’m like I can’t. I’m here in such precious little time that I went back and got on New Year’s Eve, it was freezing. You remember that? – I do remember that. I was here, actually, I do remember that. – I turned to my brother-in-law. – I come back alright. – I was still there. – It was like 72 here. – I was freezing. And we would watch a Steve Harvey and I turned to my brother-in-law and I said, I think we had planned this out earlier. But I said it in action type moment. It’s like we can’t forget to go get that milkshake we were talking about to ring in the new year. And we got an oh, shoot. I just remember something that I vowed I would not forget to tell you. And I just remembered it. Well, just to finish that thought, we got in the car to go to Cook Out but it was no mere car. It was the truck. – A truck. – Were in you in the back of the truck? – JB my brother-in-law’s friend who came over with his wife to hang out while we just watched the ball drop and ring in the New Year at their home so the kids would go to sleep at their leisure, drives up in his truck and JB had told me earlier that day or the day before. – New Year’s Eve and you just traveling around going to Cook Out? As the ball’s dropping? – No, no, no like 9:45 or something. – Still pretty late. – Yeah, yeah, I was like– – And it was open? – Yeah, it was open. I got a peanut butter milkshake but the way we got there was in the truck that this friend of my brother-in-law. It’s his truck. Am I being clear about this? – It’s very strange. You seem like you’re about to say something significant about the truck but you just keep saying that it’s a truck. – Well, just let me get to it. – Is there something special about the truck? – It’s a big Ford truck. You know how you can get away with driving those huge trucks in North Carolina but you can’t do that out here in Los Angeles? – You can’t fit him anywhere out here. – You can’t park it anywhere, you can’t drive it in anything. You can drive it through stuff but people would be offended. And there’d be insurance problems. JB said this guy’s trucks got everything. It’s got massage chairs. – What? – Massage chairs. – In his truck? – His truck. – That seems illegal. – Has not one. – Driving while massaged? – But two massage chairs. – Driving under the influence of massage. – And JB, he told me that in the moment he did, I was like I must ride in this truck. – To get a milkshake. – Yeah, and so when I found out that he was coming over, I was like yes! And the moment this dude walked in, I just like, you know how I get sometimes. I just clamped onto him. – Yeah, I’m glad I wasn’t there. – I was just like good to meet you. Tell me about this truck. – Did he seem relaxed? – I don’t believe he seemed super relaxed. – I mean I would think somebody that’s got massage chairs in their car just looks like a monk. – He was the coolest guy I’ve ever met. – Walks in like a slinky. It’s just barely just slides in the door like a bowl of jello. – He was not that– – Limber? – He was not that what’s the word? Jiggly, he wasn’t jelloey. – He probably used it once or twice and he takes he’s taking it for granted. When was the last time he massaged himself in his truck? – Well, I asked him did he massage himself on the way over there? He said no. Yeah, it’s like you say you were like I wouldn’t wanna be there but you do the exact same thing. You’re doing it to me now. – Yeah, but I do it more subtly. – No, you’re not. You’re doing to me right now. I did the same thing there. – No, in person. I’ll slide the questions him. – I was like hey man, good to meet you. Tell me about your truck. Because I heard something about it that cannot be true. It’s got massage chairs and he’s like, “Yeah, two of them.” – So he was proud of it. – And I mean to be clear, the driver’s seat and the passenger seat. There’s also two more seats behind it because it’s one of those four-door big trucks. He’s got the big screen in the middle. And of course, I was already planning on getting a Cook Out shake on New Year’s Eve and then I’m like oh, the deal is sealed now. We are not gonna forget about this. We get in that car and like, first of all, we walk out the front door. Trucks already running. – Of course. – I’m like man, we’ve been in your house for two hours. You let you truck running? – No, he starts remotely. – He’s like, “No.” He said, “Man, I hit a button.” I’m like okay, I knew that could’ve happened. But I still don’t believe your massage chair and I get in there and he’s like. (imitating beeping buttons) And he turns on the massage. We hit the road, Jack. – Are we just talking vibrate? – No. – We’re talking like kneading. – I’m talking like kneading. Like with a K. – Kneading the a K. – Kneading with a K, shiatsu. – Oh no, shiatsu. Your shiatsuing me. – ‘Cause I was like, if we’re talking vibration, like I’ve tried to read a book while being in a vibrating massage chair before and you cannot do it. – You can’t focus. – You can’t read signs if you’re driving with a vibrating chair. This doesn’t seem safe. – But kneading is fun. – And he’s like just wait. And so then he turns it on and there’s three levels and he put it on level three for me. – He went straight to three? – Yeah, he didn’t wanna hold back. – Yeah, and break you in. – Short drive to Fuquay. And it felt good. I mean it’s not like a person giving you a massage. – Of course not. – But for a chair in a truck that was gonna get a milkshake, it’s pretty great. – Is it the best massage you’ve ever had in a truck going to get a milkshake? – Yes, absolutely. And it was the biggest moment of my life that I can’t believe I forgot to tell you about. – Are you gonna get these installed in your car? Or is it the kind of thing you only enjoy there? ‘Cause what I do when I experience that I really like. – You can’t do that. – Because I find a way to get it into my own life. – I mean I would have to get one of those big freakin’ trucks. I don’t think they put those in like a just a normal vehicle. – You can find somebody, somebody in an alley. – It’s funny because when JB first told me, oh yeah, we just came back from the ball game with so and so and he’s got massage chairs in his truck. And I’m like what? And I’m going through all that. And he’s like, all right, I can’t remember what I was gonna say. I’m so excited about the freaking massage chair that I lost my train of thought. – [Rhett] Yeah, it happens. – Give me a second. – I’ll give you a few seconds. – I mean it literally just sent my brain into just like, I’m done. Like that’s how great this massage chair was. – You can’t wanna talk about anything else. – He said, yeah, it’s great when you need to relax or if you spent the day at the fair. That’s what JB said that he said to him and then when he comes over to the house, I’m like, so you got massage chairs in your truck and I’m like grilling about and he’s like, yeah, it’s great for you just need a little massage, when you spent the day at the fair. – This guy, I mean the state fair is only around for a few days. Like a week. – He just goes to it. I don’t know if that was his thing. He’s like if you spent all day at the fair, you wanna drive home and get a massage. – Yeah, a fair can be tough, man. – But it’s not to mentioned like a full day of work. – And then at Cook Out, he ordered a pineapple banana milkshake and I gave him a really hard time about that. – Yeah, you should have. I would never let him sip it. – I grilled him so hard about his massage chair and then about that milkshake that I’m sure he hates me. I don’t know this guy hate me. He’s like your brother-in-law is the weirdest human. – Pineapple banana. – I’m sorry. – He deserves every bit of it for that milkshake choice. Now, what I will say I couldn’t get a milkshake because I try to stay away from the milk products. But I did get chicken nuggets and corn dogs as sides because yes, that is something you can do at this restaurant, believe it or not. And I gotta say I was underwhelmed with both the nuggets and the corn dog. – Where’d you eat it? – Alone in my car in the parking lot. Not being massaged. – That’s not sad at all. – I mean I was like I want this stuff fresh, man. I don’t wanna take it back to the house. – Was your iPad there? – Oh yeah, you better believe it. I was stopping every once in a while to play a little of that game and die and then I’d take a bite of the corn dog. It wasn’t bad but it was not as good as Steak ‘n Shake and it was not as good as Five Guys. – I’m not gonna say it’s better than Steak ‘n Shake and Five Guys is much better than I thought it was but I don’t wanna say any more about it than that. – Okay, well maybe I just need to get another one next time. I also had another meal where I was alone in a parking lot. I typically go to Smithfield’s Chicken ‘N Bar-B-Q. They call it SCNB now. It looks like a bank sign. They changed that. – It’s stupid. – That was dumb. – It’s so stupid. – Yeah, Smithfield’s if you’re listening. The SCNB– – And the Golden Corral behind it. – Not a good move. – Closed. How on earth does a Golden Corral in Fuquay-Varina close? – [Rhett] I don’t know. – Like what is the world coming to? – They didn’t have enough entrances. – When an all-you-can-eat buffet in Fuquay-Varina goes out of business. – There’s only one explanation. They ran out of food, that’s it. There’s no other logical explanation. – Well, no the other one is they opened a bigger one a few blocks away– – Yeah, there’s another one somewhere. – There’s got to be another one. – Yeah, definitely, that’s what happened. But I gotta say that the better sandwich in my opinion was the barbecue sandwich with slaw. The bun is so soft and I got a half-pint of Brunswick stew on the side. It was so good. – And where’d you eat that? – In the parking lot of Smithfield’s barbecue. – Alone again? – Yeah, which is very close to the Cook Out parking lot. I spent a lot of time alone. I didn’t mind. I enjoyed it. – Oh yeah, oh yeah. I mean we dedicated a whole chapter of the book to it. – Yeah, but I did have some family time and one of the, and I actually sent you a picture of this. – Hold on, no, no, no. Is this the Gaga? – Yeah. – You Instagramed this. – No, I didn’t. Oh, I sent it to our group text. That’s where you saw it. – Oh, that’s what it was. Okay, yeah. – I thought about putting it on Instagram but then I thought you do something like that and people just start complaining. – Should you not talk about it here? – No, I’ll talk about it here ’cause– – This is inner circle stuff. – My grandmother-in-law Gaga. – Great picture by the way. – Whom you’ve read about in the Book of Mythicality ’cause if you’ve read the Book of Mythicality and you know the important role that she played in my relationship with my wife in the early stages when she was 75 years old. Now, she’s 92 or three. – Wow. – And she was this health nut forever. Like she was the one that had like all the crazy like supplements. – Sure, yeah. – And she did like the Hallelujah Acres diet thing. – She debunked that milk was good for you. I remember you brought that to me. Shattered my world for a couple of days. – She told me about how bad milk was and then way she talks about traditional medicine and I think she calls it cut, burn and poke or something like that. – Surgeons. – She doesn’t like traditional medicine and she walked all the time and she was completely self-sufficient even after her husband died. But she had smoked. – Not that you need a husband to be self-sufficient. – No, no, I’m saying a lot of times when you’re old and your spouse dies, things go downhill but that didn’t happen with her. So she was a smoker. – Can you turn the heat back on, by the way? – Oh gosh, come on. Are you kidding? – I’m cold. – Why just do some jumping jacks? Jumping jacks. – You want me to literally get up in the middle of podcast and do jumping jacks. You think that will be more distracting than what I just did before you made me drag it out into this. I know that this is more distracting. – It will be less distracting. – Than doing than this. – So she used to smoke which is very excusable as someone who is her age in North Carolina. Her husband worked in tobacco so she naturally smokes a little bit as a young lady. And then we found out that she occasionally smoked all throughout this whole health nut craze but just like very occasionally, she’d sneak a cig. – Sneakretively. – But something just clicked in the past two years where I think she hit 90 and she’s just like who cares now? If I wanna smoke, I’m gonna smoke and she’s smoking a lot. And she comes she came over to the house and she’s hanging out and she’s like, “I gotta smoke a cigarette.” And we’re like okay, Gaga but you can’t do it inside. So we put her on the sun porch. The unheated sun porch. We didn’t put her there, she went there. And in the picture, she’s got the blanket. – Well, this is my perspective. when I saw the picture, there was a caption. But first I read the picture and it was like, it’s so funny. It was cute, very old Gaga totally bundled up. Like layers upon layers upon layers and she’s got two hands in the air with two fingers up in each one looking into the camera, smiling blissfully and perched between each of her two fingers on both hands is a cigarette. – Yeah, she’s double fisting. – She’s double fisting cigarettes smiling to the camera and then I’m like, there’s like a weird sheen on the front of the photo. – A reflection if you will. And I explained it in the text, man. I said notice the reflection. That’s because I took this from inside the house. She’s on the porch. – You pushed her out into the frigid cold. – She knew she couldn’t smoke in the house. Although we did– – With two cigarettes? – We did hear, I’ll tell you how she got two cigarettes but we heard a story. – Trying to kill her right there? – She went over to somebody’s house. My mother-in-law told me this story, her daughter. They went over to a friend’s house and then Gaga was like, “I wanna smoke a cigarette.” And my mother-in-law was like “Mom, you can’t smoke in somebody’s house.” And she was like, “What kind of person “doesn’t let you smoke inside their house?” Like she’s just, that’s who she’s become and she’s totally embracing it. So the reason she had two cigarettes is because she goes out there by herself and my brother-in-law who does not smoke, I mean he’s probably had a cigarette before but he does not smoke. It’s like I feel like I should go out there, smoke one with her out of solidarity. You got a 92 year old woman out there in the cold at sun porch smoking a cigarette, I’m gonna go out there. And so he lights one up and he takes a couple of puffs. He’s like, “I just can’t do it. “I can’t finish this.” She’s like “Well, don’t put it out, give it to me!” And so that’s why she had two cigarette. – And that’s why there was a sheen because you were in the warmth. Taking a photo of her like she was zoo animal. – No, she she knows. That it’s funny. – She loves it. – She absolutely knows that it’s funny. That’s half the reason that she does it. But also she’s like I don’t really care if I keep living. I just wanna have a good time. I made it to 90. – I mean on a sadder note, this is one of the reasons we make sure to go back home is you wanna see everybody but you definitely wanna see the older relatives and I’ve been blessed with a lot of my grandparents, still living. – Three of them. – Yeah, three out of four, my grandparents are still alive. Nana and Papa, my dad’s parents and Nanny, my mom’s mom. Now, her husband Clyde died when I was a junior in college. But they’re getting up there. Nanny had a stroke. She went really went through it earlier this year and it was difficult to not be there. So it’s like you wanna go home because well, you don’t wanna, you know, you say it to, Christy and I talk about it. It’s like well this may be the last Christmas. I mean Nana and Papa are doing better, much better than Nanny is. But it’s kind of like the tough aspect. It’s okay, you and Jessie you’re gonna see Gaga and how many more times are you’re gonna get to see her? Like we go to Nanny’s and the tradition is we go there on Christmas Eve and she’s not able to really leave the house. And at the point where we’re gonna exchange presents. It’s like this year, at that moment, she just burst into tears and it was so sad. And then she said, and she doesn’t talk a lot after the stroke because she has a hard time putting words together. And it was this like sad speech where she just like, it just came out and she was like I just couldn’t get you any gifts this year and it was like the saddest moment and of course, we don’t care about the gifts. But as sad as that was, being able to respond to it and talk to her about it and be there and to have quality time with her and and just reassure everybody that of course that’s not what this is about. It’s not about presents. It turned a really sad moment into something which I think was very meaningful to us. But I mean at this point in our lives, that’s a big part of the holidays. Is this okay, who’s who’s still here that’s not gonna be here that much longer. And you start to think about mortality and you start to think about what can happen to any of us. The holidays are that time of year when you think about last year things are like this or year before things were like that or– – But it’s also the time when you contribute to your mortality by going eating a barbecue, fried chicken and biscuits. – Yeah, yeah. – I mean if I had to eat the way. Not everybody in North Carolina eats like this of course but more people in North Carolina eat that way than they do here and. Shout out to Rhett’s Instagram account, rettmc. – It’s one thing to promote your Instagram. It’s another thing to do it in that way. – In the third person? You like that? Distasteful? – It’s so odd. – Those of you who follow me on Instagram know that I did a story. Haven’t done a lot since. But I did a story on New Year’s Day, maybe the day, no, New Year’s Eve. I don’t know when it was. But I was looking for a for a healthy meal and I found one at this place. That was this weird smoothie place that had like three step process where you had to get of shot of aloe and then you had to do a tea and then they gave you the smoothie and I was like do I have to go through these three steps? And it just hit me that maybe this was not the simplest approach to setting up a shop like this and Fuquay but whatever. I did and it’s great. – It was great? – Yeah, the smoothie was good. But yeah, it’s just the way that we ate was so hard on the body. – My GI has not recovered. I almost sharted a few minutes ago. – Oh, really? – And I was telling you it was. Hold on. You know what? – Thanks for saying that. – I’m not going back to that. I’m just saying, I think it’s because everything’s not in alignment. – Just leave it at I almost sharted. Yeah, we’ll leave it there. But let’s talk about when we actually did meet. Because we had not planned on seeing each other. – We cross paths, yeah. – We have no intention of seeing each other. We see each other quite enough. In fact we went and did a little skiing together as families after you got back. – Right, but going from house to house for me and Christy, it’s like you go north of Fuquay for anything and then when you coming back, it’s like, well I know there’s a Target here. And it’s like oh, we’ll never know when we’re gonna get back to this Target. I got to buy a blanket ’cause they make the bed warmer or I got to get another pillow. Anything to make yourself more comfortable. I’ma buy my own grocery. – But she was at Ulta. – Which is next to the Target. – Buying makeup. – We’re going to the target but then she was like “Oh, there’s an Ulta.” – Well and my wife was going into the Ulta as well and that’s when we saw Christy and I was like there’s Christy. And then I saw you and the kids and so. – In the car. – And that was when I was doing my annual trip where I take everybody. I take the whole family. My brother and his family, Jessie’s sister and her family and my parents. I take them all to see Star Wars as tradition so far. I always wait to the last minute to buy tickets. And it’s like I buy like 15 tickets. It’s like buying that many tickets together. It’s kind of a difficult thing to get, you need you got to do reserve seating so you can all be together. And this is like Star Wars are still peaking at that time. So the only place that we could find enough seats together and we couldn’t even find 15 seats together. It was seven and eight. We had to separate two different pods. On the back row, which is better than the front row, was at that place in Holly Springs next to where we met each other. That serves the food. – The dining theater? – Yeah, that was the only place that we could see it. Which is not ideal for a number of reasons. First of all, that place, I had a horrible experience there last year and I don’t– – I feel like this whole podcast is just for people in Fuquay. Like why don’t we just rename Ear Biscuits like crap, we wanna complain about related to Fuquay. – Well, this is Holly Springs. So a little different. – Alright. – But I’m not a big fan of the dine in movie situation unless it’s a movie that I don’t really care about that much. But like Star Wars is, although I’m not as big of a fan of it as you are, it’s more of an, it’s a big movie experience and you got the complication of people ordering food and waiters, there’s waiters, to come to the freaking seats. And of course, they’ve got to pass in front of me. Now, you’re on the back row and the way that they’ve got the seating. – It’s tiered. – They got the seating tiered so you don’t really right. – It’s like The Beverly Hilton. – But here’s the problem. We get in there and they’ve got this glass. What they did, my theory is they built the theater and then somebody came in and said these walls are not high enough. And so they had to build the walls higher for safety reasons. And now there’s like a foot of glass. – You’re watching the movie through glass? – And if you’re six foot, seven, you’re not. But if you’re four foot, six like Shepherd or whatever he is, and sit next to me, he’s looking through– – His name is Shepherd. – He’s looking through the glass and select the, I put my head down where his was and the bottom third of the screen is covered in glass, and the glass is dirty. – We’ll you know what? Now you know how Gaga felt putting her out there in the sun porch. – Well, she wasn’t watching Star Wars. – She was watching you guys being warm. – She’s the happiest person on the planet double fisting cigarettes. There’s nothing wrong with her. – Did Shepherd complain? – No, ’cause he’s a kid but I did ask the waiter. He was like, “Can I get you any food?” I said no, but you could clean that glass off. – Getting sassy. – I didn’t say it quite like that. But he came back and he cleaned the glass off but he cleaned one side of it. And the other side had smudges too. But Shepherd, you know, I didn’t care. But then the thing is that it doesn’t matter who you are. You can order food. And Shepherd and Adeline are down there ordering popcorn. Just pressing the button and they got the waiter coming up. We’ve got two nine year olds just at will ordering food. There’s all kinds of problems with this, this situation. – Yeah, well then I don’t wanna know your opinion on the movie because you have to filter it through the glass of all that. – First of all, I’m not a Star Wars fan boy so I don’t have like, I’m not one of those people who’s gonna be like you messed with something precious. I know a lot of people are upset about certain things. I thought it was a very solid movie, very entertaining. I didn’t enjoy it as much as last year’s movie but– – Rogue One? – The one with Harrison Ford. – The Force Awakens, two years ago. – Force Awakens? – Yeah. – Oh, I didn’t enjoy it as much as the last two. – Oh. – But I enjoyed it a lot and I think they’re all great. – Well, if you wanna know what I think, you got to follow me on Twitter because that did tweet about that and I did respond to some people after I watched The Last Jedi. – Well, shout out. What’s your handle? – The second time. – Shout it out. – linklamont. – You gotta do a shout out. – Shout out to Link’s Twitter, linklamont. It’s exactly how you said it except it was your information. I went to my mom’s house. I wanna run this by you by way of Ear Biscuit closure. I’m gonna open a can here towards in the conversation but bear with me. We go to the in-laws house then we spend most, and then we go to my mom’s house and then we spent the majority of the time after that, getting massages in trucks at my, Christy’s sister– – Massages and milkshakes. – [Link] That was awesome. – But can we combine those two into an establishment? – Yeah, yeah. An RV, you’d be moving. – It’s mobile? Mobile massages? – Mobile massage and milkshakes. – And milk shakes. – Three Ms. – Write that down. I’ll write that down on my iPad. – The moment I step into my mom’s house, I’m just struck with a scent. I’m like, oh! And it was strong. And I’ve been in my mom’s house many times. It’s not the house that I grew up in but her and Lewis, it’s their house. I’ve been there many years though. Never smell this smell and I’m like, should I say something? Again, it was that moment. It wasn’t a cigarette smell but at that moment you get in the rental car and you’re like should I– – Should I say something? – Should I send this car back and get another one because I’m gonna have to live in this car for the next week and a half. – Well, okay but– – And this house– – You gotta give me– – I know that my mom’s house doesn’t smell like this. – You have to describe the smell because– – I will. – Once I know that the category of the smell, I can tell you how you should have reacted. – Well, it was so strong, I decided I had to say something to my mom. And I was like mom, and this was in the first four minutes of being– – But what kind of smell was it? – I said mom, do you smell that? – Of course she doesn’t. – Of course she didn’t. And I’m like, it just smells like mothballs. – Oh gosh, yeah, you shouldn’t mention it now. I could have told you. You should have texted me. Even if it could have broken our rule. If it smells like mothballs, you cannot question this. – I mean I’m like, I haven’t smelled mothballs in a long time but it’s so pungent and it’s like I feel like it’s, I mean it’s really strong like it’s about to knock me over and she’s like it is mothballs. – If it smells like mothballs, it is mothballs. – I have I have moths eating my clothes in my closet. I’m like that really happens? I thought that was something that happened in the 50s or something. I thought that was eradicated like polio. – No, it’s not how it works. – Is polio eradicated, by the way? – No and it’s coming back in some places. – It is. – You cannot vaccine against moths. – The bubonic plague is in Madagascar. – Yeah. – That’s bad. – That’s why I’m not going. – I really feel for those people. But I’m talking about my mom right now. She’s like “Yeah.” And she was like, “So I put ’em in my closet “and then the vent blew on them “and then they all disappeared.” I guess that’s what happens when air blows on a mothballs. Is that they disintegrate over time. Like you would like one of those air freshener bally things. She says but there’s also a full basket of them in the guest bedroom in the closet. And I’m like oh, that’s my room. And I go back there and I open the door and Christy’s already back there. She’s got this like haunted look on her face. ‘Cause she wasn’t gonna say anything and I’m like do you smell that? It’s mothballs. She like, yes and I took the basket out and it will knock your socks off. – And you’re not even a moth. Could you imagine if you were a moth? – Gosh, I would not eat clothes if they smell like that. – Yeah, right, that’s the whole point. – Yeah, and she graciously took them out. I’m just like I cannot believe. – Did the smell leave with the balls? – We burned a candle in there and she put those balls in her closet in her bedroom and it still was smell out at the place. It never went away but it went from like a 100% down to a 20%. – As a general rule, I mean– – It’s my mom. I can talk openly with my mom. – Yeah, it is your mom but if it was me– – I wasn’t a jerk about it. – I don’t think you should ask questions about smells unless you know it’s something that’s dead. – It was so strong– – Or like a new pile of dookie that no one has found yet. That’s also, that could happen. – But you can’t. You can’t live in a space that smells like mothballs. I’m sorry, there’s gotta be a 2018 solution to moth. – Let me rephrase that. You can’t live this place. – I cannot. – I mean they can obviously. They don’t have a problem with it. – They didn’t think twice about it but I just felt like I could offer a service. I know this sounds bad. – Mothball removal? – Just somebody who can come in and give you their honest opinion about stuff. – Oh gosh. – It’s just like– – link, that’s not a job. That’s called being Link. – But I think I would be good at that job. Like I could go in to like talk about massages. I could go and, my dream job would be to go into spas and then review them and like consult with spas. – Yeah, this is why I wanna do the enneagram episode because you are the category of enneagram that this is what your profile is a reformer. – A reformer. I thought I was a one. A perfectionist. – The reformer is a one. Same thing. – I just want to– – It’s more specific than a perfectionist. – Like to be able to go in and like give an honest opinion because I wanna help. It’s like other people are gonna walk into your house and they’re gonna get hit with a wall of mothball smell or like maybe your clothes don’t match or maybe you haven’t looked at that picture in a while and it’s been crooked for a couple of years. Like someone just to come in with fresh eyes or fresh nose or fresh senses and just to like give their opinion. What job is that? I wanna do that. – I think it’s just called pain in the butt. – I know I sound– – I think that’s what it’s called. – I think there are people who the cumulative effect of our conversation here, I’m afraid that the take away is, ’cause I’m self-conscious about this, is that you’ve moved out to Los Angeles and you become too big for your britches. You come home and you tell your mama that it stinks and even the Cook Out burgers aren’t good enough for you anymore. I’m really self-conscious about that and I’m afraid that that’s what we’ve done in this conversation. – No, I think– – Like talking about peeing on the seat. We complain about everything. – That’s just being a dad, man. That’s just getting old. When you when you get to a certain stage– – I just really care, I really care. And it’s not just about my own comfort. – To me, it’s not caring. – I think it all, but it could be interpreted as like I’ll know what makes me comfortable and the world needs to bend to me. – Well, I will say that I told my wife, ’cause I do think this is a component of this. Because if you make yourself, if you set yourself up so that your environment has to be made perfect in order for you to be happy, you will always be unhappy. But if you set yourself out to be someone who can be malleable and flexible in any environment and instead of saying, I want that picture to be straight and say I’m gonna be okay with that picture not be straight. – And I don’t do that. – Ultimately– – For the record, I did not straighten any pictures in my mom’s house. – Yeah, yeah, no, but I’m saying, but this is a principle for everybody not just somebody who has more opinions than average. But what I told Jessie when we got there knowing I was gonna be sharing a bathroom with them. I was a marginally affected because I still complained about it. I was like I’m gonna not let this get me this year and I’m gonna be like this is an opportunity for growth sharing a bathroom with teenage boys as an opportunity for growth. It’s also an opportunity for entertainment where I can go on a podcast and talk about it. – Yeah, and I think that’s– – Of course. – That is my main reason I think we’re talking about it because it’s funny for us to be– – But I do think that I took a different approach to saying like you know what? I’m gonna do the things I don’t wanna do like I’m going clean the seat, I’m going to take my toiletries in and out. Whatever, so that I can enjoy this as much as I can. But I’m not gonna just sit here and wish I was at a hotel. I’m not gonna do that because being here is being with family and putting myself through this is ultimately a good thing. But it is a little bit of a spoiled thing. I share a bathroom with my wife. Even just moving from sharing a bathroom with dudes when I was a roommate to Tim and Greg to sharing a roommate with Jessie, sharing a bathroom with Jessie, like there’s a totally different world. I mean all of a sudden, there’s somebody who’s invested in the cleanliness of this bathroom and the smells being good and the all these things and it’s just like oh, this is great. I and you become spoiled. When you’ve had 17 years of that of using a bathroom in a place where somebody cares about the environment and then you go to a place where it’s just boys and I was a teenage boy at one point. – Yeah, yeah, yeah. – It’s just a different approach. – Let’s twist this into being about how great our wives are and how it made us– – Yeah, you saw where I was going. – That made us really, they made our lives amazing. – Yeah. – They’re not listening. That’s the sad fart. I just said fart. Sad part. Alright, guys. That’s it. Thanks for enduring our complaints and for believing the best about us or whatever opinions you’ve gathered. I’m sure you can let us know, #earbiscuits. – Don’t let us know your opinions about us. Let us know your opinions about our work. – Alright, we’ll talk at you next week. – [Rhett] To hear this Ear Biscuit in its entirety so you don’t miss a thing, follow the links in the description to ART19, Apple Podcast, Spotify and anywhere else podcasts are available. – [Link] To watch more Ear Biscuits, click the video on the left. – [Rhett] To watch more from This Is Mythical, click the video on the right. – [Link] And don’t forget to subscribe by clicking the circular icon. – [Rhett] Thanks for being your Mythical best.