GMMore 1253: Durian Dating Disaster

(animal roaring) – Welcome to Good Mythical More. – Gifticality! We’re donating one thousand dollars to Cool Earth to aid in their mission to save the rainforest and strengthen local communities, community livelioods. – Yes. – In an overall goal to combat climate change. Join us in giving at CoolEarth.org. – Thank you for being your Mythical best, and for being here for more. Because if you’re presented with the opportunity, to hear from Mythical crew members who have had interesting online dating experiences, you know you’re gonna click through for that, and you did, ’cause I know you, and there you are. Alright, come in guys. – Wow. – That got a little children’s programming there for a second. A little Blue’s Clues, like, addressing someone individually– – Can you see the people coming in? – Making me feel a little uncomfortable. – What? You want me to look behind me? Oh, you’re right! There are Mythical crew members behind me. – Hi guys! – Welcome to the show guys. – I must have spilled water in the midst of being so happy to have you guys. – Okay, so… – Chase, Theresa, and Tess, everybody. – Now, is there a particular order that we’re going to hear from you in? Because I know nothing other than the fact that you all have interesting stories about online dating. – Yes. – Whoever has the happiest story should go last. – Mine’s not happy. – Okay, mine’s pretty exciting. – Okay. (laughing) – Pretty exciting. – Chase, you go first. – Okay. – Since you’re closest to me, and you didn’t respond. (laughing) – So I started, well I tried to start dating this girl that was online, but she kinda curved me for about a month. – How’d you try, what did you do? – We were having good flirty conversations. – On what? – On Tinder. But then she just kinda like, was not really into actually meeting up or anything. And I was like, well, okay. – Did she say that? – Yeah, she was just like, “Yeah, I’m alright.” Every time I’d be like, “Oh, lets go get coffee.” And she’s like, “I’m, you know, shampooing or whatever.” (laughing) – I’m shampooing? Like shampooing a dog, or shampooing herself? – Didn’t matter. – Kinda either-or, whatever. – He kinda got the idea. She wasn’t shampooing anything, Rhett. – Yeah, yeah, yeah. – There was no actual shampooing. – Yeah, right. – But like, slowly, she was like, “Okay, fine, we can like, “I can give you my phone number, okay fine,” and like, “I’ll meet up with you, “but with a group of people.” – Oh no. – And then finally, when I was like, “Okay, can we go on a date?” and she was like, “Yeah, sure!” I was really excited, but then I forgot that I had a lot of durian in my backseat, from this show. – Yeah, this show’ll do that kinda thing to you. – Shoulda done some shampooing. – I should have! I should have shampooed the backseat, because it smelled horrible. So I picked her up, and it was just not going very well. – Did she immediately notice it? – She didn’t say anything, she was nice about it. – You should have said something! – I was like, “I’m real sorry, “you know that weird show I work on, “there’s a bunch of real smelly fruit in the back seat.” And she was like, “Yeah, I noticed.” – Oh, so you had already been texting up about the weird show you work on. You can use us to get a date, that’s totally fine. (laughing) – Probably thought you robbed a fruit stand or something. – It’s encouraged. – You know that weird show I’ve been talking to you about endlessly. (laughing) – Yeah, that date did not go terribly well, and I think that the entire time we were in the car, she was kinda talking a little nasally, like the was holding her nose… (laughing) – She was breathing through her mouth. – Yeah, exactly. – Maybe she’s a mouth breather. Maybe you got the upper hand. – (laughing) Well, no… Her next couple dates ended up well, and, you know, we’re still dating. So, it ended up, in the long run, working out. – What? – What? Hold on. Oh. – That was Sarah. – This is Sarah. – Oh, this is Sarah. – A long time, Ben called her stinky fruit girl, because the only story he knew was that I went on a durian date with her. – Wow, you really overcame adversity with that one, – I think there’s a strategy to setting up– giving yourself some sort of a handicap in a situation like that, because what it does is it gives somebody an opportunity to overcome that, and see if there’s something real. – It’s a test. – She liked me enough– – One underarm that’s unwashed for a couple of days, just something that’ll be off a little bit. – Yeah. – One eyebrow shaved, and the other one’s not. – Yeah. – Just not even acknowledge it. – That might be a little too far. But, I like the idea. Theresa? – Mine’s also smell related, actually. – Oh, good. – Yeah. (laughing) – Great. – I love smell related dating stories. – It was… I can’t remember which app. I think it was Coffee Meets Bagel, or Hinge. But it was– – Is that, hold on. – Was that two apps, three apps, or one app? – That’s two apps. – One of those apps, those random ones. – Coffee Meets Bagel? – Yeah, we’ve heard about this. – Those are actual dating websites? – I don’t know if it’s still around, You just get a match a day, and then you say yes or no. – Okay. – So you’re a coffee, and they’re a bagel, I guess. Or whoever is the coffee. – Okay. – But I went on a date with this guy, and then he kept talking about wanting to go to California, because he heard I was from California. This was in New York. And then he was ranting about wanting to go visit this lake near San Diego, and he really built it up, he was like, “You go to this lake, there’s no water, and it’s dried up, and there’s all these dead fish.” – Salton Sea. – Oh is that– Okay, so it’s a thing. – I am the guy. – You know what it is! (laughing) – And we’re still dating. Yeah, so I guess– – Gotta go to that lake! – I gotta get out of here. He was just like, “It’s a smelly lake, you stand there, once you get past the smell it’s really great. It’s all these dead fish. – Lots of dead fish. – And well, I really put my foot in my mouth, because it seems like a thing that we all know about? – I think you were on the right track. – No, no, no, yeah, I’m weird. – He should have gone on a date with that guy. – Yeah. (laughing) – You were on the right track, keep going. – So I wasn’t that into it, and also I will add, he did keep taking about how, he wanted to bring up that his ex girlfriend was Thai, because I said I was from Taiwan. And… (laughing) Not the same thing, also, why does it matter? (laughing) – Noted on both fronts. – But then I still went on a few more dates with him, because I was like, 22. Like a year ago, no. (laughing) I didn’t know how to say no. – Oh. – After a few dates, he then invited me to California to go to the lake, and really wanted to fly me out, like sent me flights, and I ended it. – So you never actually got to see the Salton Sea? – No, I guess I can go. Can I get the rest of the day off? (laughing) – I once drove there by myself. (laughing) – This is really odd. – Wait, so what is it? – I mean, you two could have made a love connection. What’s his name? – I don’t remember, but he looked like Andy from The Office. – You like Andy? – There are other people who also know about the Salton Sea. – I know about it, but to hear him describe it, it’s not a place I’d wanna go. – It’s a giant body of water east of San Diego, that was created when there was some sort of breach of some dam many, many years ago, and when all this water filled up this space, they were like, “This is gonna be “the next awesome tourist area!” – And they built a resort. – They built resorts all around it, people had boats, but then they started realizing that it was so salty that fish died constantly. Literally, you’d go there and– – To water ski and stuff. – You can still get in the water, and some people do. but the entire shoreline is just lined with dead fish, and they don’t clean it up. It’s just like, there’s just dead fish. I took some pictures. – Put ’em on your Tinder profile? – Yep. And I recommend it, you know, not as a date, though. Just as a solo experience, as I did. – Yeah, that’s a big date. I mean, to fly across the country, and then take a road trip from the airport for hours to the Salton Sea, and then that’s what you end up with? That’s not my idea of romance. – Yep. – You could have like, a dinner kicker, or like, maybe go-karting afterwards or something. – That would do it. – Tess, what about you? – Okay. So, I broke up with my ex-boyfriend and moved out to California, and I was living in a– – Car. – What? (laughing) – I was living in my- – I didn’t say anything. – Yeah, that’s right. So, long story short, I was living in New York for nine years, And I was like, “Well, I don’t want to drive to my date.” So I filtered by distance. – Smart. – So I walked a mile to a wine bar, and this was actually a cancellation, initially– Sorry, let me back up. I forgot, I was so excited. (laughing) First, I was on OKCupid, and I filtered by height, I wanted someone who- – I thought you filtered by travel. – Well it was height, height, distance, and ethnicity. I wanted someone who was foreign. Like from Europe, who spoke another language. – That’s fine, okay. That’s great. – Yeah. – So you wanted a tall, close, foreign person. (laughing) – Yeah, I knew who I wanted. – That could be an app of sorts. – [All] Tall, close and foreign! – Yeah, and so I found this man named Federico, right? – You found him. – I found him. And so then I messaged him. I said, “Hey, you look cute, “my dad buys marble in Italy. “Like, he goes there. “Are you also Italian? “That’s rad, let’s go out.” Because I’m kind of aggressive. (laughing) – My dad buys marble, let’s date. Uh, what? – I was like, “I also cook, so yup.” – Yeah, right. – And he was like, “That’s amazing.” – He didn’t understand any of it, but he said yes. He was confused. – Well then he canceled. – Oh. – Yeah, he canceled on me, and I was like, “Whatever, ball’s in your court, “you don’t seem that interested anyway, “Like, if you wanna hang, let’s do this.” – Oh, wow. – And so he was like, a week later he messaged me, he was like, you know, “Okay.” and that’s kind of how– (laughing) So he’s like, “I’m really interested in you, “I want to explore.” And so I didn’t know that this man sounds like this when I met him. – Explore what? (laughing) – Obviously the Tess. (laughing) So we went out, he smelled a little bit like cigarettes and beer, and I was like, “Oh, this is good. “He likes to party.” (laughing) But he seems put together, you know? – But not too much. – He didn’t show up drunk, you know? – He doesn’t smell like two cigarettes. (laughing) – I was like, “Okay cool.” So then the date went really well. He was like, “I’d love to take you for something to drink, “you seem very excited to be alive.” (laughing) – That was his criteria. – Yeah we got married though. – You seem excited to be alive. – And then you got married? – Yes, yes. We got married. (laughing) – Both of these are not horror stories, because they ended up with the people. – You should have just gone to that Salton Sea! You should have gone! – You missed out, man. – Thanks for sharing your stories, guys. – Yes. – That was crazy. (laughing)

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