Hello in this special edition of Ear Biscuits. We just wanted to let you know up top and unequivocally how much we love our children. Love spending time with them and how much we welcome them into all, well, not all aspects of our lives but all the appropriate aspects of our lives. I’m making this weird. It’ll make more sense when we get into the episode because this is at the top of the episode. It’s not right now in the middle where I’m actually saying it. – To clarify, we love them we just don’t always like them. Does that? – Whoop! (upbeat music) – Welcome to Ear Biscuits, I’m Rhett. – And I’m Link. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we’re gonna get cooking like it’s the heat of summer. Talking about ♪ Summertime, summertime ♪ ♪ Sum-sum-summertime ♪ – We didn’t pay for that. We didn’t license that. – I made that song up. – Oh, it was an original. – Slight a different tune. – I think that’s illegal. I think it’s illegal to make that claim. – Oh, gosh. – You know, we are gonna be talking about summer answering some summer related questions, talking a little bit about what we’re doing this summer. – And what we’ve done in past summers, I think. – Yeah, one of the things I’m doing this summer is I raise my mic up about an inch. – Your back is more arched in like an odd kind of a way. – Well, I tend to hunch. I’ve hunched– – Yeah, you do. – Most of my life. I like to seem normal. I’m not but I like to seem normal. I like to blend in so I tend to bring myself down but you know what? It’s summer 2018, man. I’m going up an inch. – Gotta arch that back. – Is this what it feels like to be you? – If I had good posture, yeah. I mean. – I feel like my nipples are gonna pop through my frickin tele, I said teleshirt. (laughing) – Teleshirt? – Teleshirt. – What were you combining? – Well because I have a television character on my t-shirt. – No, you don’t. – Yeah, Cotton Candy Randy. I use television in the broad sense. This what’s happening right now is television. You tell me what– – So weird. – For those of you who are watching, what part of what’s happening right now is not television? – Every part. – Break it down. It’s vision and it’s tele. – Well, this show is more of a teleplay. Well, it’s a radio play. Who cares? We’re talking about summer. – Summer. – And yeah, you’re already hunching. Lower your mic back down. – No, no, I wanna get up. I want it get up. – We’re in the middle of a summer that has been well-orchestrated. I mean– – Or orchestrated. It’s been both. – That’s what I said, orchestrated. – You used a G. I used the ch, yeah. – Oh, you’re saying I say orchestrated wrong? – Yeah, it’s orchestrated. But it’s cool, I mean it both worked. – Well-orchestrated. As you notice, I’ve said it many times and I haven’t changed it at all because I’m emphatically staking my claim. – What do you call a group of people playing instruments? – An orchestra. – No, that’s a group of people playing instruments– – A fan. – Who are donating their organs. An orgestra. That’s when an orchestra plays to like, for people’s organs. Like it’s like a fundraiser for organs. – What do you call a group of– – Or only organs are being played like pipe organs. – What do you call a group of trees that are intentionally planted in rows and then they grow fruit? – Tree farm? – Like peaches or apples. – Oh, an orgard. – Right. – An orgard. – Last summer, we were talking about this summer. – It’s weird how that happen. – We were talking about how what we wanted the summer of 2018 to be like in the midst of 2017. – We didn’t want it to be like 2017. We wanted it to be different. – This summer is different than a summer we’ve had in a long time. – Mission accomplished, man. – We’re we’re accomplishing a mission. For the past two summers, we worked on Good Mythical Morning and shot it in such a way and kind of planned breaks. Two summers ago, we didn’t do Good Mythical Summer. Last summer’s when we did Good Mythical Summer with Monday, Wednesday and then Friday, guest host. So we could bank episodes and then film Buddy System. Season one two summers ago, season two last summer and we just catapulted ourselves out of our weekly routine of filming Good Mythical Morning into just a very aggressive production schedule with making Buddy System a reality. – And while we were filming Buddy System, we were preparing for two different things. We were preparing for our tour which was right on the heels of Buddy System. And we were also preparing for the expanded version of Good Mythical Morning and like interviewing people and like we wouldn’t even eat lunch while we were shooting Buddy System. We would like have interviews. It was– – And I guess we were doing this show. And I think talking about it some. I mean last summer. – Summer, yeah, yeah, yeah. – I mean I think we were talking about how, man, I don’t know. This is just crazy. – Well and we talked– – We should go back and listen to that and then that’ll make us appreciate it even more because as we try to develop this discipline of stopping and celebrating. – We had the crew host the podcast. – That’s right, that’s what we did in order to to gain some time to do the other stuff. Just trying to orchestrate the habit. – we were orchestrating like you would not believe. – Of stopping in celebrating. So I kind of feel like I want to assess whether we’re doing that. And I think you already have said that we are. I mean this summer is it’s a lot more laid back for us which is so great. I mean we said I wanna plan a vacation that’s more than a week. And let’s go to Australia and then that was kinda the start of okay, there’s some work involved. We’re gonna do some Tour of Mythicality stops in Australia but then the vast majority of the time, we’re gonna have our families there, we’re gonna be in vacation mode at the end of July. I can’t wait. – Listen, don’t build it up too much. – I don’t, yeah. – Because that vacation build-up syndrome is something that I suffer from, most people suffer from. – VBS. – Yeah, yeah, it’s not vacation bible school anymore. – No. – It’s vacation. – [Both] Buildup syndrome. – And you you think that it’s going to be great. You begin measuring everything according to when you’re going be on vacation and then you begin to think, I’ll be happy when I’m on vacation then you inevitably get on vacation. It takes you several days to adjust to being on vacation and then you have this extended period of like not quite met expectations and then the next thing you know, you’re going back home and then you’re looking forward to the next, you can’t let that happen. – Can’t let it happen. – You have to think it’s going to suck. It’s gonna suck when we go to Australia. It’s gonna be the worst time ever. Now, we’re in the perfect place. – And it’s gonna be your fault. – It’s gonna be your fault. – It can’t be both of our faults. And I said it was yours. – Well it could be your fault for me and my fault for you. – Deal. – Yeah. – Well, hold on. Let’s just make it the kids fault. They’ll be there. – Yeah, they’re gonna– – It’ll definitely be their fault. – Make us miserable. we shouldn’t take them, what are we thinking? – We’re too late. I mean can we resell the tickets and like a some sort of a, like some sort of scalping situation? – What? – Can we scalp plane tickets? – No, it has to be the name that is attached to the ticket. – True. – You can’t even, once you buy a ticket, if you wanna just change the person like if we decided that we wanted to take one of our kid’s friends instead of one of our kids because they like did something wrong, always a chance that’ll happen. – I always tell my kids that I’d rather be with their friends. – Then you can’t do that. The airlines make it very difficult, trust me. I’ve tried to replace my kids with other kids many times last-minute before vacation. – We feel that way but then we also love our kids dearly and we’re kinda joking, okay? – Kinda. – I’m glad that we’re bringing them at least at this point. – It’s gonna be great but it’s gonna be bad. – Their fault. It’s gonna ne their fault. – It’s gonna be bad. It’s gonna be horrible at the same time. – But I’m proud of us that in our commute back from filming Buddy System, we were just commiserating about how exhausted we were. We’re like, you know, our next summer is gonna be different and you know what? We had the discipline to follow through and look, it is different. And so I just wanted to assess how do you feel? I felt a little lost, honestly. – I feel great. – Like not having something that I have to film basically every single day. I just kinda feel like, oh, my gosh, what am I doing with myself? – Well, it is laid-back but I wanna, I think, and I’m not trying to like, I’m not trying to be like we are working really hard but– – We are working. – What we’re working on is something that we haven’t, we’re working on things in a way that we haven’t worked on anything in a while probably since like six, seven years ago. – Yeah. – So since things kinda got going once we moved to California, it’s been one thing after the other and multiple things at a time usually. But we always kinda knew exactly what the next thing was going to be and while we are working on some things right now that we can’t yet talk about, the main thing that we’re doing is we are developing other ideas. Now, what we’ve always done is we’ve gotten an opportunity to do something and then we filled it with an idea but we’re actually sitting around talking about all kinds of ideas and all kinds of different outlets, different media and we’re developing these ideas. We’re actually talking about them, developing worlds, developing characters, fleshing them out, writing things up, we’re having meetings to try to make some of those things a reality but it’s the summer of like lining things up and just throwing them at the wall and seeing if something sticks. And I mean, I’m having an incredible time but it is also the kind of thing because it’s not– – It’s all speculative. So for me, I tend to overanalyze whether anything that we’re working on. It’s like if none of this amounts to anything which I don’t believe that and I get excited about the things that we talk about because it’s such a mode that we’ve usually just kind of crammed in like if we’re in the car going somewhere and one of us, you know I had this idea and then it just kinda percolates a little bit but having dedicated time to just sit on a couch or then go to lunch. Like we’ve gone to lunch. we have left this facility and we’ve gone to lunch and then a couple of times when the food was done, like that was over, lunch was done. We should have gotten up and left. – I stayed. – I’ma get a coffee and stay here a little longer. I feel like an actor. You know how like around here in Los Angeles, you see just, all times of the day, you just see people sitting places drinking coffees. – Yeah. – These are actors. – Good-looking people that look like they should be actors. – And I think that there are like commercials but they’re not currently, I’m not currently on a commercial but I make a buttload of money from like a Sherbert Skirbirt commercial. – Sherbert Skirbirt is my favorite brand of tennis balls. – Right. – Have you tried the new Sherbert Skirbirt tennis balls? – It’s two guys. – Now with twice the bounce. – Who they eat for making their own– – Sherbert Skirbirt. – Tennis balls. – Sherbert made a tennis ball that was really bouncy. Hey, I had like the perfect bounce. But then it didn’t have the right texture and then Skirbirt, he has– – Is it Hubert or Skirbirt? – Skirbirt. – Skirbirt. – Skirbirt. – Skirbirt. – Sherbert and Skirtbirt. – Yeah, but I Skirbirt. – Well, you’re mispronouncing his name. – Well, it’s an orchestra kinda thing. – It’s written on the tennis ball. – Sherbert Skirbirt. – Skirbirt. – I think it’s spelled the same way. How do you spell Skirbirt? – S-K-I– – R. – R– – B-I-T. – B-I-R-T. – Skirbirt. – Skirbirt. – Yeah, so now, you’re backing what I said. – Sherbert and Skirbirt. That’s how you say it. And Skirbirt’s ball had the perfect fuzz on the outside. He had what they call Skirbirt’s fuzz. But it didn’t have that Sherbert bounce. And then somebody, I think it was Nancy. – Who’s she? – The CEO. She said let’s bring you two together and hyphen it. Hyphen it, these two– – Oh, you’re talking about the hyphenated Sherbert-Skirbirt? I’m talking about the unhyphenated Sherbert Skirbirt. This whole time, I’ve been talking about– – Bankrupt. – The unhyphenated ones. The one that was popular in the 70s. – Moot point. – Oh, sorry. – Sherbert Skirbirt– – We should’ve stopped this a while ago. – Is the perfect tennis ball. And then they got this jerk. A guy in Los Angeles like in the commercials. Can’t even serve properly. You notice that? – Yeah, yeah. – He’s a good talker though. I could tell that he didn’t memorize his lines, that he was like reading him off a cue card. – Yeah, but who cares? – But he’s still getting residge. He’s getting all the residge. – But when he’s not collecting– – And now, he just he’s coasting, man. – He’s just drinking coffee next to a– – He’s sitting down on Cahuenga. Eating a crepe. – Oh, Cahuenga. – And that was us for a little while. A few days ago. – I think you’re talking about the guy on Fairfax. You’re talking about the guy that was in the Sherbert Skirbirt commercial on Cahuenga, I’m talking about the guy that was in the Sherbert Skirbirt commercial in Fairfax. – Is there two commercials? – Yeah, yeah, yeah. – You’re right but it– – I’m talking about the blonde guy. – Oh, you know what? I thought he was wearing a wig. – Oh, yeah. – I thought it was the same guy. Why didn’t then use the same guy, just put a wig on him? – Well, different markets. – Right. – One’s for Maine and them one’s for the rest of the continental United States. – The wig does look like a mane, like a lion’s mane. It goes down on either side. It’s kinda like, what’s that headpiece that of Pharaoh wears? – A pharaoh? – Now, you’re gonna tell me how to say pharaoh? – You said it right but (laughs). – What? – I don’t know, it just made me laugh. – Pharaoh, it sounded like– – Pharaoh. Let my people go, pharaoh. (laughing) – His wig was shaped like a pharaoh headpiece but it’s hair. – Of course, yeah. I think it’s pharaoh. – Pharaoh. – I mean, I don’t know. – You’re thinking of Pharrell, the artist. – Anyway– – We were kinda like that guy. – Yeah, we’re just like those guys. – Just sitting there, drink, the waiter came by and was like, can I take your? And we’re like, yeah, and you know what? I’d like a cappuccino. – I got a couple of teas. I double tea one day. I got tea and then I got another tea. That’s how good I’m feeling. – A new bag or a new entire? I don’t know what it meant. – New water, new bag. – And we’re talking about ideas. Like this would be a great television show. This will be a great movie. No limits. – Yeah, so the chances that any of the stuff that we’re talking about right now actually becomes a reality is actually is– – Beside the point. – Not slim but it’s probably the next idea which is a little unusual for us because again, when you when you do stuff on the internet, even with the stuff that we’ve done with YouTube like with Buddy System, we ended up getting a show on YouTube Red before anyone knew what the show was. I mean that’s– – That’s the truth. – That’s how it went down. It was like do you guys have an idea? Like yeah, we got an idea. Let’s come up with an idea. – Buddy comedy, script, it’s gonna have musical elements. – And this process– – And the pitch was backwards. – Which is kinda– – Non-existent. – Going through the more traditional process of talking to gatekeepers about ideas. – That’s right. They won’t even let us on studio lot so we’re just talking to the guy who at the gate. – Yeah. It’s a different process. – That’s not what you mean. – But I’m really enjoying it. I’m really enjoying it. Even if– – I get inside my head a lot in terms of, because my personality type, I keep a running record of like have I accomplished enough today? Do I feel like I’ve earned the right to go to bed tonight? I think is something that it’s subconscious for me. So I have to make an active decision, kind of like what you’re talking about being on vacation, there’s that transition period. I’m still kind of in that in terms of what our summer is but– – Well, it’s gonna be over before you know it so you better start enjoying it soon. – And it’s gonna be your fault. But I do think that some of the ideas or, will lead to something. Of course, while Good Mythical Morning continues to go or to stay. I don’t mean, you know what I’m saying? I feel like whenever we talk about something that’s not Good Mythical Morning, there’s a certain person that we need to reassure that it’s not gonna have a negative impact on Good Mythical Morning. – Well, certain person be reassured that Good Mythical Morning is not going anywhere. You wanna answer some summer questions? – Yeah, we have summer questions from you. I think we’ll get to many of those. – But first, we want to remind you that you can go over to mythical.store to meet all your life needs. – Your life need maybe, let’s talk about that shirt. Check it out. – That’s the back. The front has a sort of a version of the GMM logo. The back has that catchphrase that we always say at the beginning of every show. – That might be the name of another show that we’re developing. – It could be, it might be. We don’t wanna– – That shows up, it definitely is. It shows up on the weekends. – I think that’s actually– – That we launched at Good Mythical Morning. – I think that’s been announced through some outlets. Yeah, there’s gonna be a Saturday show. – It was some article and we didn’t, you know, we didn’t announce it but I’m sorry if that’s how you heard about it but now we’re talking about it. – Yes. – Just casually. – Every Saturday, when GMM comes back for season 14, there’s gonna be a show called Let’s Talk About That where we talk about the show with Stevie. – I don’t know what it’s gonna be. We’ve only started to talk about what it might be and I’m pretty excited. – I’m very excited. I also have the cotton candy. – I’m really excited not knowing what it’s going to be even as we do it. I think that’s part of the premise. I’ll go that far. – I’m gonna know what’s going on but Link won’t. This is the Cotton Candy Randy. – If you wanna know more about anything we’re working on, just continue to read Variety. – The Cotton Candy Randy t-shirt that says hi, daddy is also available at mythical.store and you may see this if you follow the social media over the Rhett and Link accounts and the Mythical accounts. If you hashtag, if you take a picture of yourself in some Mythical apparel and then you hashtag it with the word mythical, you may get featured on the Mythical account, we’re doing that now. – Follow Mythical on Instagram, yeah. Okay, let’s get to some questions, summer theme related, help you guys out and then maybe reveal some things about ourselves in the process. – Raisa Rezwan. My friend and I have been talking about having an adventurous summer because we’ve always lived a boring life. – Oh, well. – We wanna do something exciting and dangerous. What are some new experiences that my friend and I should try while also not spending too much money as we are college students? – Exciting and dangerous. Put this down. – No, I wanna hold it, right. – But you’re almost blocking my shot, hold it right there. For some reason, when you said exciting and dangerous, the first thing I thought about and I think it’s great advice is get a kayak. You and your friend, get a kayak and go on a river excursion. I’m talking about like rapids situations. – This is 2018. I think we should probably give a disclaimer. If you get a kayak and then you end up injuring yourself or dying because you’re in a kayak. – But she said dangerous. – You’re the one who asked. You’ve wanted dangerous activities. We’re not responsible for your kayaking, okay? – No, we’re not. That being said, you should definitely get a kayak because it’s extremely dangerous. – When I was– – That’s what we did. – I was in middle school at the time that our friend Ben talked us into getting kayaks and I went to get a kayak from some, I don’t know where I bought it. – Well, you’re too big for a kayak, I mean– – I couldn’t fit– – Put it on a kayak is like put it on a sock. – I couldn’t get, I couldn’t find and especially where we were at, I couldn’t find a kayak that could fit me that had the proper internal parts of a kayak so I got an old-school kayak which is shaped like a kayak– – Let’s clarify what internal parts are. – There’s like– – There’s bladders. – Well, not only that, there’s places for your feet. There’s places that your feet rest. This kayak did not have those things. Then also, there are the– – Flotation. – The flotation parts on the inside. – So we’re talking balloons inside of the front and back of the kayak so that even if it fills with water and it will, when you pop out of it and struggle to maintain your life force, it will not sink because it’s filled with these bladders that are filled with air, not urine. – And my kayak did not have these. So what I did– – Because you’re was like a 1970– – It was very old. – It was a it was a covered top canoe– – It was like a canoe that had a top on it but it had a hole just for me. So what I ended up doing is first of all, I christened it the USS Merle. – You painted that. – I painted the USS Merle with the stencil on the side and then I found in my attic, I found all this foam from like the previous residents of my parents house in the attic. There was just all this like a box of pieces of foam, like yellow flexible foam. – Okay, like– – And I took bunch of trash bags, filled him up with the foam, tied them off, double-bagged them and just stuff them into the insides of the kayak. That was my flotation. – I went to REI in Cary. They had like a bulletin board. It said kayak for sale in Durham. I went to Durham and I bought the matador off of some college student from Duke University. Brought it back, nestled down in that thing, it had flotation, had tubing where you’d like you’d blow in a long straw and like you would pump up the flotation but then I remember the first time I got it, it might had a bunch of, smelled very mildewy. – Yeah, those are Duke. Those Duke students have a lot of mildew problems. – When I opened up the flotation thing to blow more air into it, the Duke college students air came out. – Oh, Duke air? – Into my face. – Ugh. – It’s like Duke student. Duke undergraduate lung air. – It’s a little smart. – Pretentious. – A little pretentious. Like really hoping to get into a good graduate program. It smells of a little bit of desperation and also a lot of like pressure from parents their entire lives. – He needed the money so it was a lot of desperation coming out of that bladder. – Yeah. – But man, we took those things on the river, we would go down to Erwin on the river. I mean how long of a trip was that? It was probably a four-hour trip on our kayaks. – Yeah, took half the day. – Probably. – A lot of that was just very slow river. – Yeah, but then there was– – Then there would be some very intense rapids right when you got to the end in Erwin. – Denim capital of the world, they’d say. Used to make a lot of jeans there. And if you made it, if you got to shore there, there would be people, men, women, children, lots of children would just give you jeans. It was just like when you land in Hawaii and they give you leis. They put jeans on you. – Right. – Remember that? – Yeah, yeah, that’s why we always went pantsless. – Right. – While kayaking ’cause we knew if we got to Erwin, they’ll give us the jeans. – And if we didn’t make it, they just find us floating dead in our undies. – So get a kayak, that’s your advice? – I mean if flood stage, I’ve definitely turned over. there’s times when like you instead of kayaking around trees, you’re going through the tops of the trees in flood stage. We did that. So stupid. – We did a lot of things that, our summers were filled with a lot of things that– – Danger. – Not advisable. We’re probably better to get to another one. Shelbi Austin. what’s your opinion on water shoes for adults? I personally we won’t step into a body of water where I can’t see my feet in it, without them. #noshame. – Well, if there’s any way we can bring shame into the equation, I would love to do it right now because I’m against water shoes. It’s just like those didn’t exist when we were frolicking in the water. I mean in the river, just to stay in the river here, we would, um, we would wear our tennis shoes. We would have river tennis shoes. – You had a pair of shoes that had, well, a pair of shoes that you had fully worn out on land that now became river shoes. – And you would not wear socks and then you would just lace them really tight. It’s difficult to swim in tennis shoes but you don’t really have to swim as much as just don’t die. – If we had only had water shoes. If water shoes had have been a thing, we probably would have worn them. – Ben wore duck shoes. Like the rubber shoes that then turned into leather at the top. – Yeah. – He wore those duck boots. – It’s got like an insulating layer in them too. – I know, they were like winter shoes but you wore all the time. – And you’re wore them in the river. – Yeah. I don’t know, once those things fill up with water, it’s like we’re in to liquid anchors. Crazy, man. – But in terms of fashion, I’ve yet to see a person look respectable in water shoes. I will say that. – When we did the Will It Slip ‘N Slide? episode, we needed some grippy shoes and Daniel gave us those, they’re not water socks. They had the individual toes but they were like, what are those things? – They’re kinda like, I think there are a form of water sock. – I felt a little self-conscious wearing those but also it was kind of neat. So I think if you’re gonna do it, these are not technically aqua shoes, water socks or whatever you call them. But if you get those like individual toe shoes things, you’re gonna look like a dummy but it’s pretty cool. – But I do think you shouldn’t get into a body of water– – If you’re the one wearing it. – Where you can’t see your feet. Barefoot water shoes is what those are called. Thank you, Jacob, for the clarification. I don’t think you should, I do agree with Shelbi’s assessment that you should not get into a body of water where you can’t see your feet without some sort of covering. I mean I don’t know how we, we never got hurt all the time that we spent in the Cape Fear River with no real, you know, this is a serious river, serious rapids. – Water moccasins. – No life jackets, we were walking across the rapids, swimming down the rapids and we had some like technique that we developed. We’re like you got to keep your feet forward and keep your hands up which is true but there’s just a lot of good fortune that got us back and forth across that river thousands of times. – And we found– – Without getting into any trouble. – Yeah, so in Buies Creek, there’s that set of rapids there that we would spend most of our time. We knew like there was a secret waterhole that was probably 10 feet deep even though everything around it was like three feet deep. We’d swim there that was pretty cool but then we would also go down the river further and not all the way to Erwin, there was that place that had the huge rocks and we would swim there and they had these places that we would call them jacuzzis, where the rapids would kind of, it would eddy back on themselves and basically, the water would churn and dig a hole and if the river was at the right level, some rocks will be exposed such that there was a lot of water spilling into this hole and then churning around and one person could fit in at a time and you could hold your breath and go underwater, remember? And put your head under, the water the waterfall and breathe under there. – Well, we were doing that– – It was crazy. – After we graduated college, we went down to Erwin and we did that and remember, you got stuck. – Oh, my foot got stuck. – One of your feet got stuck. – And that’s how you died. – And there was a panic situation because we’re in the middle of this river and I’m like his foot is stuck and you eventually got free. This is crazy, it makes me think, I just read this news article today. There’s a river in Arkansas where apparently, it’s not uncommon in Arkansas for sinkholes to open up in the riverbed. – Good Lord. – And these people are like kayaking or rafting. – So like the river just disappears? – No, no, sinkhole in the middle of the river formed a whirlpool that started taking someone down and a guy saved people but then the guy who saves people went down and died. Like this happened yesterday. I saw this like the headline and read too many of the details. – Maybe he’ll pop up. Maybe he’s not dead. – I doubt that’s gonna happen. – Yeah, sinkhole. – Yeah, but we never saw any of that. – Sinkholes are jerks, man. No warning like email or something. Just send a warning. There’s a ramp onto the highway and I noticed the other day it said, it’s like a construction ramp and it says, this ramp will be closed intermittently between February 2017 and March 2018. And of course, it’s after March. – It’s past that. – You see that’s a big swath of time. – And we’re beyond. – And we’re beyond it and the sign is still up. And by the way, they’re still closing that ramp sometimes. – Intermittently. – Intermittently. I mean but I think they should take the sign down. – Well, they should adjust the sign. – I got one. Brianna Schmid. What do you do? – She did? – What do you and your wives do to keep the kids from bickering all summer? Good question. She says we have a pool, a trampoline and an Xbox. Well, come, okay, you go, Briana. You got it. We got all that stuff to keep them entertained but they still managed to drive each other and me. Emphasis on me, nuts fighting over the smallest things. They are 10, six and three, all girls. Oh, gosh. Well, first of all, mine are eight, 13 and 15 and it don’t stop. So don’t get your hopes up that the bickering over the smallest things is gonna stop. – No. – I love my kids. I know we’ve already laid it into them at the top of this thing but– – Well, what we have discovered– – I don’t have a trampoline. – We have discovered, now– – I would have thought maybe that was the thing but Brianna’s saying it’s not. – I’ve had all of these things at some point in my life. Currently have a pool and an Xbox, had a trampoline. – Well, you go, boy. – In my own, in my past. You also have an Xbox in a pool but you’re just not– – But I’m not talking about it. – But you’re just not talking about it. – I also have an Instagram account. – This is a point, I’m just trying– – No, use it. – I’m just trying to relate to Brianna here so I can say that I feel qualified to answer this question. We have discovered the wonders of summer camp. We heard about these people. – You just, yeah, yeah. Tell them about it. – We heard about these people who were like we send our kids off for a month. I’m like what? A month? Somebody was like six weeks. – And then somebody else. – Too much! They were bidding. – We got to ask them– – They began bidding on how long their kids are gone. – Yeah, sometimes they come back, we don’t quite remember their names. And we’re like what? That’s a long time. And most of them were like in the Northeast. – Northeast. Northeast, apparently. – It’s a Northeast thing. – Northeastern people don’t like their kids. Northeastern people like their kids less than we like our kids, apparently. – And this goes back to when we were, if we lived in the Northeast, we would have gone to these camps. It’s like boarding school. – Yeah. – But everybody loves it. The kids love it and I have to assume the adults love it. It’s a win-win. I mean it might hurt the wallet. So the wallet doesn’t win. – But if you’ve already got a pool, a trampoline and an Xbox, it shouldn’t be a problem. (laughing) – So yeah, Rhett’s exactly right. We started like we get to put our heads together and like let’s talk about this camp. Let’s get our kids into these camps. Maybe we could talk about the camps. ‘Cause for us, camps we’re just, you know, there was one summer between I don’t know when it was. We could figure it out but that ubiquitous photo of the two of us as kids with the purple gorilla shirts on, the matching shirt standing in front of Rhett’s dad’s Dodge Dynasty. That was taken in the parking lot– – [Rhett] Probably– – Of the zoo. – The summer between sixth and seventh grade, maybe between fifth and six. Definitely one of those two. – It seems right. That was taken in the zoo parking lot where we had just purchased the t-shirts after your dad had picked us up from spending a week in the mountains of North Carolina at Camp Caraway. – I wonder if it’s still there. It’s gotta be still be there. – We did that once and we never went back. – Well, I wanted to go back but because you puckered up and didn’t take a crap the entire week. I had a horrible experience. We didn’t go back because I wasn’t gonna go back by myself. – Well, at night– – Yeah, tell the time. – It would be dark. – It was great, man. – And at end of the day, it would be light but– – But it was great. – Not that light. – We went on hikes, we took that one hike out into the middle of nowhere and like slept at this old abandoned camp. – It was dark there too. – We roasted marshmallows. They did these crazy like activities at night with bonfires. I mean– – Very dangerous. – I remember loving every part of it but every time I would check in with you, you would just have this like pained look on your face like nothing was going well. – It was quite literally out of my comfort zone. I mean when you line up to take showers and then they got like stopwatches and they’re like everybody just gets a couple of minutes. – That was uncomfortable. That was uncomfortable. – And it’s a cold shower. And then you’re like if you were gonna poop, somebody could walk right by and see you. – I don’t think that’s why you didn’t poop. I mean I– – My body knew. – I didn’t poop as much as normal. – Whatever I had when I arrived at camp, my body knew to keep it ’cause it didn’t know what else it was gonna get. – Well, but it kept getting camp food the rest of the time. Were you not eating it? – Maybe not. Maybe not. Camp Caraway is still open. – Still open. – So– – But you did eventually poop. – I’m sorry. – Hold on, but then, hold on. You didn’t poop and then we went to the zoo. Did you poop at the zoo? – I’m sure the animals did. It would be hard to watch to not poop that long and to go see animals and they’re pooping left and right. It’s like they’re taunting. – Because it makes me feel different about that picture of us with a gorilla shirts on to know that you’re holding a seven days worth of crap in your large intestine. But the expression on your face is so happy. ‘Cause you were so happy to be at the zoo. – I was released, man. I had not experienced that relief. – You took a crap at the zoo. There’s no way. That’s I just crapped a seven-day log face. It really is. It’s a look of relief. – And all I got is this purple t-shirt. That’s what the t-shirt should have said. – So we’re sending our kids to summer camp. Now, first of all, Locke is gonna be doing the basketball thing most of the summer. Shepherd’s not going away to a sleepaway camp. He’s going to like a day camp but the thing is every other day for like five, it’s five, he’s gonna be doing a lot by himself but you’re actually doing– – Lando’s not going any sleep over camps. – The time away. – But Lincoln is going because he went for one week last summer with a friend to a sleepaway camp in Michigan, actually, ’cause that’s where his friends was already going and had been going. This year, he’s going with another friend for two weeks. Most of the camps, they sell it really hard on the website. So well, the first week, you really gotta stay for two weeks if you’re gonna make the best of it. And I’m like you ain’t got to talk me into it. I mean ’cause I’m really concerned about, we got a lot of questions from you guys in responding to our post about the boredom. If you’re not working over the summer, you’re frickin, what are you gonna do when the Xbox gets old and the trampoline falls through and your pool gets stagnant? – You just change the filter. – You’re just gonna be bored. So he’s going away for two weeks. Lily’s going away for one week to another camp. I mean you drop a load on this stuff. I don’t mean to bring that back up but… We’ll see– – Are you preparing them for that though? They are related to you. Are you– – Well, it’s funny. Tell them the story the other night when your parents were in town and we took them all out to dinner, right? And like Rhett’s parents and my mom and her husband, Lewis, yes, he’s technically my stepdad but I don’t call him that. – He calls you his son-in-law. – Does he? – Yeah. – He did that? – I mean he did that at some point about you. – That is so sweet. It’s technically accurate. – Well, it’s technically incorrect. – Oh. – I mean maybe you are his son-in-law but that’s not typically what son-in-law means. – Yeah. – You’re his stepson. – Stepson is accurate. – Yeah. – Son-in-law. I don’t call him father-in-law. I just call him my mom’s– – ‘Cause that would also be incorrect. Well, you could say stepdad but– – I don’t say stepdad either. – Okay. – I say my mom’s husband. – Okay, that’s one way to it. Stepdad’s just a shorter way to it. – I mean when he arrived, I did give him a hug and when he left, I gave him another hug. – I know what you’re getting at though. – They’re sitting down there talking and then it’s Christy and Jessie and then me and you and so like, you know, on long tables, it’s like everybody just kind of talking in pairs. Like the two of us are talking to our wives or talking to each other and then our kids are down at the other end of the table. – Yeah. – So you didn’t hear… Apparently, they were talking about what we’re talking about now, about the kids going to summer camp and then you catch one of the conversation. You’re like you told them what we just talked about. You’re like well, when Link and I went to summer camp, Link didn’t and crap the whole week and the table just erupted. And I was like I said well, I mean it’s funny but it’s not that funny. And then they were like Christy was just telling us that when she went to summer camp as a kid, she didn’t crap the whole time she was there. – Okay, this is a serious problem. – So we’re super compatible. – You’re taking a very high constipation potential into these summer camps with your kids. – I think that’s, I mean– – You gotta send laxatives. – That’s the key to marriage right there, first of all. Let’s just focus on the positive for a second. But yeah, genetically speaking, we’re setting up our kids for– – High-propensity to constipation. – For a world a lower GI hurt in the in the coming weeks. How do you prepare your kids for that? – You know what? – For the next few days, kids, you’re just gonna take a dump in the backyard. – Yep, that’s one way to do it. – And you’re gonna have to watch each other. – Yeah, I like that. Another thing you could do is you could begin to slowly transform your home environment into a camp environment. You could begin acting like a camp counselor, you could begin (Link imitating a trumpet) decorating their room a little bit differently. And if they can learn how to crap in that environment, then they’ll just carry it right through to the summer camp. – I mean I didn’t dislike camp and I’m really glad that, I’m sure they’re gonna enjoy it and I’m sure they’ll poop at appropriate times. I don’t think I have to go through this but all of the, all of the rituals of camp are pretty cool so I hope that the camp’s they’re going to have those like rituals. I think they all do. And even Camp Caraway, it was like– – The first night. – Yeah, they– – I don’t remember the details. – The camp counselors like did some sort of performance and the guys sing a song. – I thought they were so cool. – MoonPies and grapes. Remember that song? – Yeah, MoonPies and grapes. ♪ MoonPies and grapes ♪ – Oh, the best song ever. – I don’t know, the guy was so cool. He had a beard back when it wasn’t cool to have a beard. – Right. – He was so ahead of his time. Singing a song about ♪ MoonPies and grapes ♪ Of course, my wife went to Meredith College, an all-girls school which was basically summer camp year-round. Because they had all types of rituals that they would do at this thing. – Corn husking. – And we would go to her, remember? Because I started dating her and I would drag you to this stuff. – I made the mistake of going with you. – They had rituals and stuff. – They would hide the baton. – There was a baton. – They still hiding the baton there? – And it was like the– – And sometimes, they hide it under the bridge. – The senior, like, one class– – They hid it under the bridge over the lake. – I think I’m gonna get this all wrong but I’m just gonna say it this way. I think it was a senior class that would hide the baton and then all year, the junior class, like their job was to find it. That’s pretty cool, right? Totally summer camp stuff. This is a college campus. – We should have a baton around here. – Well, you know, Chase put that picture of himself in our office to cover up the hole where it’s the fire valve. If like the sprinklers are going off in this place, you wanna scramble to turn them off or something. – You gotta punch through Chase’s face. Grab the valve and turn it. – Well, he’s obstructed, if the fire marshal came through here, we’d be– – I think it’s a fire code. – They have to dock his pay the level of a fire marshal fine. And then I’m– – You found it within a day, though, ’cause it was next to your desk. – He was like, oh, you found it. I was like yeah, I found out it. I know where everything is down to the millimeter in my office. You can’t change anything and me not know it. I’m like, but we moved it, see if you can find it. It’s somewhere else in the office see if you can find it. A few days later I was like, have you found it? He’s like, “No, I haven’t found it yet.” Another day later I’m like, you see him passing. Like you found it? You found your picture? He’s like, “No, I’m not really looking.” I’m like, you’re looking. He said, “I haven’t found it.” I hadn’t moved it. That was the joke. I was like maybe you should look at my office. And then he comes up, he’s like, it’s in the same place. I was like, gotcha! It’s not in the same place anymore but I really got him, that skydiving foo. – We should do a baton. – Follow him on Instagram. He skydove. What a weirdo. – Aubrey Bishop. What’s the best way to even out a farmer’s tan? I’m embarrassed to look like Neapolitan ice cream. I wanted to answer this question because I recently saw myself in the mirror and realized that– – Don’t make a habit of looking at that. – I’m working in a farmer’s tan too. I was, it was really setting in right here. – Yeah, you’re talking right at the at the traps. – I saw myself– – Of the neckline. – I myself in the gym and because there’s mirrors everywhere in the locker room. – Okay. – And I don’t really see my back very often. It’s not a view that I take in very often. – The back? – Yeah, ’cause you gotta have like, it’s gonna be like a two mirror situation. – A mirror on a mirror. – And I’m not interested in my back. And maybe I should be. But I noticed a very distinct line forming and I was like I gotta do something about this. And so, you know how I get up and I do the stretching in the morning with Barbara, she gets on my chest and then we have the ritual. – You decide to do that outside? – I was like I’m gonna do sun stretching. – That’s cool. That sounds totally LA. You could sign people up for an Airbnb experience. Come enjoy sun stretching with Mr. McLaughlin. – And it was on Saturday because typically, I’m up too early for there to be sun that could actually change your farmer’s tan. – Not this summer, man. We are laid-back. – But on Saturday, I got up and I had breakfast with the family and then we’re hanging out and then it gets to be about 10 o’clock, that’s when you start getting into like where the sun’s rays can have an impact. And I went out there and just a pair of sweatpants. I’m not interested in getting tan on my legs. And sun stretched for a good 25 minutes or so. I highly recommend it. – You gotta watch it. If Barbara jumps on you– – No, Barbara was inside. – You’d have a Barbara outline on your back which could be cool, actually. – She’d have to stay very, very still. – Sit down, lay down. – But I think I got, can you see it? – Look away a little bit more. I still see it a little bit but it’s not that pronounced. – It’s fading. – My father-in-law has a tan, he always wear shorts. He does a lot of grass mowing. – Are you gonna tell me you know where your father-in-law’s tan lines are? Is this your father-in-law or your stepdad? Because I never know with you which one– – I don’t call Lewis either, man. I call him my mom’s husband. – Okay, so this is your wife’s father. – Yeah, this is my father-in-law. – Your actual father-in-law, got it. – Bobby. Bobby, he’ll come in the house, take his shoes and socks off and get in his recliner and let me tell you, his feet and ankles, he wears like socks that come over his ankle. It’s never seen this direct sun. – Right and it shouldn’t. – But his legs are really tan because he like fishes and he’s outside and he’s mowing grass. – And he always wears the same pair of socks. – Yeah. – No, flip-flops. – No. – Wouldn’t be caught dead in a pair of flip-flops. – It’s like a Frankenstein situation. – But it’s like he still got socks on. – It’s like they attached a Caucasian’s foot, well, to a tanner Caucasian. I don’t wanna– – Yeah, I was like where are you gonna– – I don’t want to get into race. That would be stupid. – Where are you going with this one? – I don’t know. He’s just super white, man. – Yeah, his un-sun skin. – I’ll just say like– – It’s very white. – Like a Swedish foot to a Los Angeles surfer dude leg. – Okay, that works. – I don’t know, I’m in hot water. – You want another question? – Hit me. – Emily Peplinski. Well, I like to say that name. Peplinski. – Ironically, you’re mispronouncing it but go ahead. – Peplinski? Peplinski? Peplinski. – I think we’re done with the pronunciation. – I’m never done with it. – I’m done with it. – I wasn’t trying to be funny. I was admiring– – If I could I orchestrate a way for us to be done with it. – I was just admiring the way that it rolls off the tongue. Hi, Rhett and Link. What are some fun outside games that don’t involve a lot of physical activity? I love enjoying the nice weather but I’m pregnant and get out of breath easily but also wanna have fun with the energized seven-year-old we have. Please help, thank you. – He’s got a seven-year-old and another one on the way. – He’s really spacing them out. But congratulations. My advice is just to get it over with. And we’re so cynical about the kids in this episode. Let’s put a warning at the top. – Yeah, yeah, we love children. – Let’s just put like, the first thing people are gonna hear, I’ll do it now. – [Rhett] Okay, go. – We’ll put this at the top. Hello in this special edition of Ear Biscuits. We just wanted to let you know up top and unequivocally how much we love our children. Love spending time with them and how much we welcome them into all, well, not all aspects of our lives but all the appropriate aspects of our lives. I’m making this weird. It’ll make more sense when we get into the episode because this is at the top of the episode. It’s not right now in the middle where I’m actually saying it. – To clarify, we love them, we just don’t always like them. Is that, does that? – Whoop! I don’t know what, the boop is like the end. – I think I just made it worse. – Well, I didn’t make it great. Let’s be real. – I actually like hanging out with them. It’s just after a while, they need to do their own thing. – Are we still at the top of the episode? Do I need to boop again? – No, no, no. – Congratulations on the pregnancy but warning, that leads to a child. – When you say get it over with, what do you mean, go ahead and induce labor? – No, I meant, no, I said I usually give advice to like clump your kids together to get the whole process of like child rearing over with and like a clump. – Again, we’ve already been through this how you shouldn’t be giving family planning advice to people. – And I’m not. – And the fact is– – We cut that out. – Is that– – Another edit joke. – She’s pregnant and she has a seven-year-old and you took your telling her to squish it closer together. – No, I’m saying– – It’s impossible. – I’m not advising her. You weren’t listening to me. – All she’s asking is how to, what she should be doing for exercise and fun. – Play fetch. – Outside game. – With the seven-year-old. It’s pretty obvious. I mean I think, don’t call it fetch but everyone’s gonna know it’s fetch. You sit down with something the seven-year-old likes and you throw it. And then if– – How many times you think that’ll work? They’re human. This is not a dog. – That’s a good experiment. Experiment. – Typically, all the times that I play– – I’m thinking fetch though. – No, but when I’ve played fetch with seven-year-olds, it’s work the first time. – Yeah, it’s not a two-year-old. – The second time, they’re like what? No. So then what does she do? – Right. – And I think at that point when she should play cornhole which is what I was trying to get to. – Oh, cornhole. – Because cornhole is– – Close contact cornhole. – A lot of fun. – You don’t want 30 feet though. – You can eat and drink while you’re doing it. It’s really low exertion but the competition can get incredibly tense. I just recommend cornhole. I mean even if you got a pool, Xbox and what’s the other thing? – There’s a younger age group– – Pool table? – if you properly clumped your children together, you could have played fetch but you can’t do that with seven-year-olds. That’s an excellent point. Lisa-Marie Brew asks what is the best thing to bring to a barbecue? I don’t understand the question. – Oh, gosh, oh, gosh, Lisa. Her name is Lisa-Marie which is commendable but the fact that your name is Lisa-Marie and you’re still using the term barbecue as if it’s an event that you go to. I’m gonna have to take this opportunity to correct you. Barbecue is not an event. It isn’t a place you go. It is also not the device that you cook hamburgers and hot dogs on. It is also not a verb. It isn’t something you do to meet. Barbecue is a noun and it only refers to meat that is prepared in a very special way that varies from region to region mostly around the Southern United States. How many times do we have to say this? And we have not said it enough. – You can’t say it enough. I mean the day we have to not say it is the day we’re in heaven. And if that means that everyone on Earth understands then the heaven on Earth. – Listen, okay, I said that. I don’t wanna drag on about that. – So let’s just– – Rephrase it. – I’ll just reask the question. – Reask the question. – Lisa-Marie, Southern first name, the Southern had to go along with it. – Her last name is Brew for goodness sakes. – Brew, Lisa-Marie Brew. – Best name ever. – What is the best thing to bring to a cookout? – Okay. Oh, you mean a place where you’ll be cooking things? – Yeah, outside. You’re cooking out. You’re cooking it out. – The answer is exotic sausages. – Whoa! – Hey, hey, hey. – You go get some sideways looks at the cookout, man. – No, no, no, no, no. – Why is that? – Okay, here’s the thing. people are gonna bring burgers. – You mean exotically shaped sausages? – No, no, no. I feel strongly about this answer. – Exotic sausages. – Now, it may depend on what you’re trying to accomplish but if you’re trying to have a good time, eat some good food and score some points, get noticed a little bit, you don’t wanna bring hamburgers or hot dogs. You wanna bring exotic sausages. If you’re the guy who breaks out the ostrich sausages, everybody’s gonna be talking to you. You know, if you gotta– – While you’re eating, they’re gonna be talking to you about the exotic ostrich sausage while you’re eating what they brought to the cookout. – No, no, no, no. – I get it. – Every single person. – Oh, try my ostrich sausage. And hey, you wanna trade these? let me get a little bit of that burger. – I don’t think as, first of all– – Beef cow. – You would enjoy it. I mean you’re a very picky man but here’s the thing about all we’re talking about is starting a conversation here. Making friends. – That’d be cool. – If you bring ostrich sausages, kangaroo sausages, I don’t know, I’m probably getting into like endangered species at some point. Appropriately raised exotic sausages, not illegal trade. What’s gonna happen is people are gonna wanna try it. And you bring enough for everybody to try it and next thing you know, people are like, “Oh, Link, ostrich sausage man.” And there’s a lot of worse– – It’s not I wanna be known for. – There’s a lot of worse things to be known for other than ostrich sausage man. Let me tell you right now. – My answer was deviled eggs. – Okay. – I mean it’s, I’m assuming with cookouts that like they got like the meats covered but if it’s bring your own meat, okay, I’ll go with you because that’s, it’s a fun little thing that you’re doing here for everybody. Everybody gets a taste a little bit of ostrich. But deviled eggs, especially in a cookout environment are perfect because they’re room temperature or warmer. You go to a restaurant, you order a deviled egg. They’ve made it a long time ago and it’s been refrigerated. – Sometimes, not always. – That’s not good. The best place to eat a deviled egg is, is when Aunt Lucinda pulls the Saran wrap off a plate or two of her homemade (slurps) deviled eggs. – Does she make that noise or does the plastic does it? – The plastic does it. It kisses the roof of the– – Fine, okay, I love deviled eggs. – The yellow– – If you brought deviled eggs to a cookout, I’d be happier than if you brought ostrich sausages. Here’s the problem with deviled eggs. The next day– – Fartsies? – Somebody gets sick. – Oh, somebody get sick. – Two people get sick– – They’re gonna, even if it’s not– – Who they gonna blame? Who they gonna blame? – The deviled egg. – They’re gonna blame the deviled egg man. – The devil. – If you bring deviled eggs to something– – That devil. – And anybody gets sick– – Burn his deviled eggs! – The blame falls on you. – Why do you think they call them deviled eggs? – I mean you got Eddie over there. – The devil. – Cooking the chicken breast and not cooking it all the way into, all the way to the bone. – What internal temperature is sausage for with this ostrich does it need to be? Nobody knows but they’re still gonna blame deviled eggs. – Blame deviled eggs. – Katie. Katie Richie. Her name is actually Kate Richie. She’s got a jeep icon. – Yeah, I see that. – Sounds like we’re having a sexist reaction. Look, a female can’t have a jeep. That’s not we were doing. – No. – Well, then why were we saying? – I was like that’s cool. It’s because every other icon on here is just somebody’s face. There’s a jeep. You’re sexist for thinking we all had a sexist reaction. – That’s true. But I’m not sexist. I just wanna say that. – Yeah, you’re not helping. – Kate Richie. I’m going on vacation with my best friend near the end of summer. Okay, cool. What should we do during the 12-hour car ride to make it extra enjoyable? Well, I mean you’ve picked your best friend so you got a good compadre for this thing. I mean it took an hour and a half to drive and pick up mom and my– – Stepdad. – Her spouse. – Her husband. – And I took Lando with me because I liked hanging out with him because I love all my children. – Yeah. – And I look for any opportunity hanging out with any of, plus I needed to legally drive in the carpool lane. And I was like shut up, you’re only here so I can drive in the carpool lane. No, I didn’t say that. Because the whole, he was like “Dad, let’s play the alphabet game.” So you’re looking around, I’m just brainstorming here for us. I mean literally, for an hour and a half, we played two games. I’m just gonna pitch these. I don’t think this is what they should play but I think it might be the start of something that they could do. You’d look for a word that started with the letter that you were on. So I have A so I’m like oh, Allagash Lane. And then he has B and he has to find a B in signage or bumper stickers. – I know how it work. – Oh, you do? And then we played another game where it was still the alphabet but it was, you say your name, you say your best friend’s name, you say your favorite food and you say where you’re from. So if it was G, be like hi, my name is Gary. My best friend’s name is Gertrude. My favorite food is Galapagos turtles. – Oh, that’s real bad. – No, I’m from the Galapagos Islands and my favorite food is jelly. – How about grapes since at starts with a– – Grape jelly. – MoonPies and grapes. – We had a lot of fun with that. – Eating turtles. – I mean that got us an hour and a half. – What? Okay. No books on tape? – The overlap between Lando and our books on tape taste is not up. – Okay, all right. – The Venn diagram looks like two tires on a truck. – I don’t think that’s gonna get 12 hours so I do think that you can play that game for a while about as long as you can play fetch with a seven-year-old human. – My advice sucks today. Is that what you’re saying? – No, no, no. Well, I think that one of the things– – I didn’t say it was advice. I said we’re beginning a brainstorming. – Okay, well– – And now, you’re saying well, since neither one of those ideas have led– – I’ll add to it. I just– – That’s fine. You don’t have to– – I just don’t think they’re gonna take the whole trip. – You don’t have to yes and it. This is not improv thought. – No, no, I think you’re gonna– – I don’t even like those people. – I think you’re gonna agree with my suggestion. Rest stops are really underrated. You know what I’m saying? Let’s put things into perspective here. You’re already paying for them. You know what I’m saying? – Oh, they’re ours. – They’re the communities, man. – They’re the citizens. – They’re the public. – They’re the rest locale for any citizen. – And have you been to one lately? – Where anything goes. – Listen, rest stops get a bad, bad rap. – This is how it goes. (Link beatboxing) ♪ I’m a rest stop ♪ ♪ I’m at the side of the road ♪ ♪ You’re driving real fast ♪ ♪ And then you pull in slow and you stop ♪ ♪ You get out ♪ ♪ You go to the bathroom ♪ ♪ You see a weird dude by the trashcan ♪ ♪ You’d run back to your car and you leave ♪ ♪ As quick as you can ♪ ♪ As quick as you can ♪ – Okay, you don’t agree? I thought you would be with me on this. – I am, it’s great. I mean, no. – Anything you wanna eat, anything you wanna drink. – Vending machines. – Large bathrooms. – Water fountains. – There’s usually a grassy area, you play fetch with your seven-year-old. You could play cornhole if you got a mobile set. They won’t stop you. I’ve tried that. – Well, you don’t wanna do anything that’s gonna slow down the trip. You gotta keep moving if it’s a 12-hour drive. – No. – You don’t wanna play cornhole every rest stop. – Okay, all right, but I think you should stop, take out all the time you say with the rest stop because you just get off and exit and you’re there and then you get back on the exit. There’s no like which way do I go? – I would recommend packing special food items and then instead of stopping to eat having picnics at rest stops. And bring enough for friends if anybody, if other people who are there. Some people are on their last leg at a rest stop. They need a little fried chicken. – I’m not talking about at night. Let me just clarify it. I’m talking about day rest stops. – Oh, yeah, broad daylight. – Don’t go at nighttime. – What about dancing across state lines like we did in the Mythical Road Trip. I mean we drove all the way across the country in a U-Haul pulling a minivan. – I feel like that– – We stopped at every state line. – I feel like it’s dangerous. – And danced, it was dangerous to find a parking spot on the side of the road to run back to the– – Getting out on the interstate and walking, you’re just in the danger zone especially now with texting and driving. Like people end up getting into the shoulder. Like I will not change a tire if I had a flat tire on the interstate. – All the advice we’ve given today has been so unsafe. Why can’t we just continue? – What I’m saying is if I get a flat tire on the roadside. – Yeah. – I’m calling AAA, man. Especially if it’s on the inside, if it’s towards the road. I’m not getting out and trying to change my tire with the people texting and driving. – Yeah, you do have to pull over really far if you wanna do that. – But what if here’s a wall? What if there’s a wall and you can’t get that far? I’m not getting on that side of the car because people swerve, they’re not thinking. They’re not just texting or driving but people will just, they swerve. I’m not gonna take that chance. I’m gonna make the AAA man take that chance. – My papa when he was, I don’t think he was the chief of police but he was a policeman before he became the chief and he pulled somebody over just on this side of the Lillington Bridge and he gets, the person pulls over and then he gets out of the car and goes back and he’s coming, he’s talked to the person, he’s got their ID and he’s coming back to his patrol car and then he sees this bread truck coming down the road and it’s drifting off of the road and he can tell that it’s not seeing him as he’s walking on the shoulder back to the car. He runs back to his patrol car, gets in the car and slams the door just in time to get smacked by a freaking Wonder Bread truck. He was hospitalized and there was no permanent damage. I was very young when this happened but I remember the stories in retrospect. – Did get Wonder Bread for life? Did he get like a loaf of Wonder Bread? – I don’t think there was any lasting damage but it just goes, even a flashing patrol car, you know, the lights flash, not the whole car. It’d be kind of cool though. – Yeah, you can’t. – It’s a dangerous place. – You don’t wanna get on the side of the road. In good conscience, I can’t give that advice to dance across state lines on the shoulder. We did that at our own risk. – Well, we don’t have anything for Kate then. We haven’t got anything. – Rest stops and in G in the alphabet. That’s good advice. I admit, Kate, that’s not very good. You got a jeep, just go off-road. Yeah, that’s what you should do. – You should drive as the crow flies to wherever you’re going. – Yeah, forget the road trip. Just make it a trip. – The 12-hour car ride is gonna turn into a 14-day jeep excursion. – Hold on, that is an excellent idea. You get a map and you map the straight line as their crow flies from where you are and where you wanna go and then you GPS that sucker and then you just ride through people’s yards, ride through people’s pools, Xboxes. – With about houses? – Trampolines. – Oh, this is safe. Now, you’re giving safe advice. – It’s safe for them. It’s not safe for the people in the path. – It’s not an armored car. – I mean you get a couple miles. – I don’t even know, it’s just ’cause it’s in the icon, doesn’t mean she has it. – Two more. – I could go all day, man. Don’t hold back. – I got a quick one here. From Brittany Nawara, Nawara, Nawara, Nawara. – Okay. – What are the best summer movies to watch? – Okay. – Okay, I’ve got a list of five. I got a list of five. – Out the top? Off your top? That’s what the rappers, the freestylers say. – No, no, this isn’t off the top. I looked at this question and I have my five movies and I just wanna see what you think about it. I think these are the five movies that if you’re gonna watch five movies this summer, you gotta watch these five movies. – All right, hit me. – They’re all summer themed. That’s kinda where I went with this. If you haven’t seen them, especially Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. – I should check that one out. – My dad watched this with Shepherd the other day and my dad said, “I was watching Ferris Bueller’s Day Off “with Shepherd and like seven or eight times “during the movie, he would stop, slap the pillow and say “man, I love this kid.” – They talking about Ferris Bueller? – Yeah. – They should have invited me. I haven’t seen it. – Oh, gosh, you haven’t seen it? – I know about it. – Okay, well, this is your list. Goonies. – I’ve seen that. I saw it two years ago. – Okay, that’s a great summer movie if you haven’t seen that. – It holds up. – Do the Right Thing. That’s a good summer movie. – I have not seen that. And I feel like, I think you would have thought I would have seen that one. Because all of the soundtrack for that is amazing. – You need to go– – I’ve watched the soundtrack. – You need to go home and watch this tonight. Do the Right Thing out of all these is the one you need to watch. The Endless Summer. You’ve seen that. – The surfing movie? – Yeah. – I think I’ve, I know that I’ve seen it but I might have fallen asleep. It’s pretty soothing movie. It’s just kind of people surfing. – And here’s a curveball summer movie. The River Wild. – Meryl Streep? – Kevin Bacon. – Hold on, tell me that Meryl Streep is not in that movie. – I think she is. – Yeah, she is, right? – And Kevin Bacon. – The River Wild, I saw that in the movie theater. – Oh. – With you. – Oh, okay. – And I think it’s, you know, going back to all the river shenanigans from earlier, I think that’s why we saw that. – That’s a– – She was a river guide and Kevin Bacon– – Don’t say what it, you know. You can’t say anything about it. You can’t say what he is. You’d just spoil it. – I don’t remember what he was. – Okay, all right. – He just goes on a trip with her. – It’s a good movie. – You just kinda, you soft spoiled it. Now everybody’s gonna be watching Kevin Bacon with eagle eye. – It happens pretty early. – What about A River Runs Through It? – It’s not a summer movie. It’s just a river movie. – What about Cape Fear? – It’s another river movie. – Let’s talk more about river movies. Name another river movie. – You just named some really good ones. – Name another river movie. – Mystic River. – Oh. Rivertasia. It’s a Disney, there’s lots of dancing, it’s animated. – River’s Edge. – What is River’s Edge? Something that you read off of Feldman’s phone? – I don’t know. Okay, last question. – Summer’s great, man. Even if you’re working, there’s a freedom. The traffic’s gone down, have you noticed? – Because of the kids. – It’s amazing– – They’re not in school. – How much LA traffic goes down in the morning, especially, I mean in the afternoon, not so much because, but I think the kids are off, they’re out of the, the moms are out off the streets taking their kids to school or dads, I take my kid to school. – Sexist. Elon Costa, what do I do if I live in the other side of the world and it’s winter? – You know, that’s a good point. We’ve been all excited about going to Australia. We realize it’s their winter. And so the answer is you buy tickets to the Tour of Mythicality Aussie edition. – We’re gonna be in Sydney, we’re gonna be in Brisbane and we’re gonna be in Melbourne. – Yes. Were gonna be gallivanting all around the place with our family where the footprint is big. We’re gonna have you probably just, do you run into us or through the roof? – Yeah. – That’s not a challenge by the way. We just want, we wanna… Come see us at the show and don’t try to find us anywhere else. – Tourofmythicality.com. Seriously, if you’re in Australia, come on, come out. – I think I’m bringing– – It’s wintertime. It won’t be warm in there. – I’m bringing a coat. It’s not that, in Australia, it’s not that cold when we’re going there in the winter. – What are the temps? – But I mean, I think, 30s to 60. – That is pretty cold, man. – It’s probably not cold to most people but it’s freezing to me. I’m bringing like a heavy coat. I’m bringing a whole bag that’s just full of coats. – Coat bag. Okay, I’ll put my coat in there. That’s it, that’s all the advice that we have. – I think there’s just so much freedom with the summer. I love it. I love summer, man. It’s great. – It’s your favorite season? – No, fall is my favorite season. – So when it’s all ending? When death is upon us? – There’s a freshness to fall I feel like actually. It’s not a death to me, it’s like, I don’t know. – To me– – Change is exciting. – The transitions. The transitions into every season. – Of course, we don’t have that out here in Los Angeles. – Oh, there’s a teeny bit but not nearly the amount of transition that we got North Carolina. That is one thing that I miss is the transition into fall and then that first day of spring. Not literally the first day of spring but when you kina realize that spring is happening. – That’s a problem. – All of a sudden, it’s like a hundred degrees. – Going into spring is a problem because of pollen stuff. When you go into summer and it’s like it’s very, it’s very smoggy and gloomy out here. But then it starts to clear up some late in the fall. – We’re enjoying it. – Now we’re just talking about the weather. – Yeah. – This podcast sucks all of a sudden. – Just turned into episode of The Californians. We talked about traffic and weather right at the end. – Oh, gosh, what have we done? – We hope you enjoyed this episode of Ear Biscuits. Thank you for all your questions. As we asked you last week, if there’s somebody out there that you think might enjoy summer advice and podcasts, share this Ear Biscuit with them. If they– – They might be a parent who says that we had no need to apologize ahead with the things we said about our kids. – There might be a pregnant woman with a seven-year-old that they like to play fetch with. I don’t know, there might be someone who loves their kids or likes their kids or just tolerating their kids. Everybody on that spectrum is welcome. – Summer and pregnancy, those are two things that you should not combine unless if you can help. – And very important last thing we wanna say is that after next week’s episode, we’ll be back with another episode just like always next week but then, we are taking a short three week summer break because we just weren’t relaxed enough so we’re going, no, we’re taking a short break. We’ve got some other things going on in kind of preparation for our trip across the world and then we’ll be back on July 30th. – July 30th. We have a freshman. So be three weeks that you can mine some older Ear Biscuits. And lastly, I’ll just say continue to give us feedback, #EarBiscuits. We gave a little speech about them the morphine of this show in the last episode. We appreciate that feedback. We’re processing it and we’ll continue to process as a response to this prompt, #EarBiscuits. Let us know what you’re thinking, what resonates with you, what do you appreciate about the show or just about me. Just kidding. – I don’t need any feedback. – All right, thanks for hanging out with us. We’ll talk at you next week. – Yes. To hear this Ear Biscuit in its entirety and make sure you don’t miss an episode, follow the links in the description to subscribe on Apple podcast or anywhere else podcasts are available. – [Link] To watch more Ear Biscuits, click on the playlist on the right. – [Rhett] To watch more of our daily show, Good Mythical Morning, click the playlist on the left. – [Link] And don’t forget to click the circular icon to subscribe. – [Rhett] Thanks for being your mythical best.