(rock music) – Hello, and welcome to Rate My Drafts, the show where my guests decide whether my drafts are a perfect joke, (dinging) or un salvageable. (buzzing) I wish I had more sage wisdom. In fact, I wish I knew anything about herbs. – Yes. – Or how to live a good life. – I like it, it’s great. (dinging) – Alright. – Yes, big buck buck, Forrest Gump. (buzzing) – Okay, so do you get the joke? – It just didn’t make me laugh. – I think it’s a joke. (dinging) – They say you hurt the ones you love, but I didn’t love the kids I hit with my car and they got hurt so bad. (dinging) (laughing) – Everyone loves violence, right? – Alright. – Violence is funny to me. (dinging) – Violence is funny. – Especially violence towards, nevermind. – Violence towards children is funny, according to the Young Turks. ‘ – I mean, let me tell ya, I think it’s funny, personally. – Okay, great. – But I feel like, – Just… – Politically correctness. – Got a tight grip. – I need to, I gotta stick with red. – And we’re not getting under that bus. – Here’s a fun fact, did you know Microsoft is also how Bill Gates describes his penis? – Are you micropenis shaming Bill Gates? – I’m not body shaming anyone. It’s just a joke. – No, I mean that’s, I mean, everyone heard it, right? – I love that one. (dinging) – Hey, alright. (laughing) – I just got a lot of love for my micropenis brothers. – Yo, what’s up, man? (laughing) Nothing wrong with that, just gotta be good at head. – Rubbing snake. – Let’s check out Windows 95. (laughing) It’s his testes. – Fun to do, run up to someone about to enter their home and yell, hey hold that door! – Your face is what makes it funny. (laughing) You got a funny face. – I don’t think so. I think it’s a– – I’ll say it’s a perfect joke. (dinging) – Well, it’s a good face and a perfect joke. – It would be better if you didn’t read ’em, which is how it works. Which is great. (buzzing) (dinging) See, it’s better (laughs). – My sleeve just came off. – What? (laughing) Oh my God. – I laughed so hard I came out of my, (grunting) I hulked out of my outfit. (laughing) That was hilarious. – People who are smart. – Excuse me, sorry. – And are the best. – Thank you. I’m doing the, oh, okay. Wow, outfit change (gasps). How’s it look? – Where’s my leather jacket? Thank you. – And it matches yours. (laughing) This is a really good set, can I make sure to get y’all’s number? – My number is 508801 (beeping). – Is it actually? – Please text me compliments. This one you gotta do a little voice. – Oh. – People always talkin’ ’bout jumpin’ jacks, but no one ever talkin’ ’bout push up Phils. (buzzing) Alright. I’d say the closets I ever was to my mom was when I was in her pussy. – Oh, God, that was, sorry (laughs). – Perfect joke. (dinging) – Oh, okay. (buzzing) – That is, that is… – Oh, okay. Okay. – That’s true. (dinging) – A perfect joke. It’s true. – It’s true. – It’s the same for all of us, I think. – Oh yeah. – You turned me. – This was, I wrote this last week. – But it’s really when you’re– – When I had sex with my mom. – Oh, gosh. (buzzing) – Oh. I didn’t take it like that. – And so, if there was one that you might retweet, if I were to post it. – Throw them in the sky, and then I would pick any of them. – [Jordan] Okay. – Yep, I wish I had some more sage wisdom, it’s so good. Can I tweet this one? – Can you tweet it? – Yeah. I mean, I know you’ve written it. I can give you some credit. – I wrote it. I spent… – It’s not like, you know, – Are you gonna credit me? – Hollywood where like I change, erase the name and say I wrote Magnum PI. – How are you gonna do it? Are you gonna tweet it and say, jordypizza, which is my URL? – What would you, jordypizza? – Yeah, do that. You can do that right now. – [Both] A very good joke. – [Flula] Nice one, Jordy! – Should we hit the paddles? – [Jordan] Yeah. – I got. (dinging) – Micropenis boys. – Micropenis boys, wait, one, – [Both] Two, three. Micropenis boys. – Can we actually cut that? I don’t want that to…