[Music] welcome to ear biscuits I’m Rhett and I’m link this week at the roundtable of dim lighting we have I’m pulling out a word here that I rarely use right okay I’m excited we have YouTube personality powerhouse Wow that’s right I guess a powerhouse the one and only jenna Marbles well I think she’s justified of being called a power house because she’s currently the number one female YouTube personality I mean in the top she’s in the top three most subscribed YouTube personalities period right when there’s a lot of companies up there but once you once you take the companies out she’s the number three person over 13 million subscribers over 1.5 billion views on these videos she’s been making for the past few years okay now Jenna caught her first viral break back in 2010 with a video titled how to trick people into thinking you’re good-looking the video currently has 57 million views and Counting and after a six-month break from YouTube which we’ll get into exactly why that happened she started uploading weekly videos she’s been doing that for about the past four years a recent example of that is things boys don’t understand part three this was got three million views let me tell you have you ever gone over to a girl’s house and like taking out her garbage well I’ve done some dishes hello this is like chivalry what you have swept me off my feet a guy comes over my house and takes out the garbage for me I’m sorry but I’m pretty sure that’s grounds for eight-seat love love you want to move in we’d be my roommate can I marry you okay so you’re in for a real treat this conversation that we had with Jenna got real we discussed her life before YouTube including the dangers and triumphs of go-go dancing yeah did you know they were triumphs yeah there were some okay and what it’s like to be pretty much the most popular woman on the internet what is it like to live the life of the most popular woman on the Internet including how she’s managing her current romantic relationship yeah we get it was like he’s like oh you want to go there yeah yeah we did we went there so here it is our ear biscuit with jenna Marbles okay so you talked about something pretty ironically coincidental that’s kind of using this a little redundant there in a recent video your obsession with Google Earth Islands yep and I mean when you said I just go on Google Earth and I zoom into an island and then I hit the Wikipedia thing I was like I didn’t know about anybody else did that yeah I have a an obsession and shut up about Islands so tell us about your island obsession I don’t know you just get in these dark corners of like the ocean and you’re like I wonder what’s over here and you zoom in you’re like ah there’s a place here and people that live here like it’s insane yeah and like you you start thinking like okay I mean how these I know they got like phones and like electricity and stuff but you start thinking like how are they connected to the outside world and when am I gonna get to go there I’ve never been to any of them that’s the most disappointing thing have you know into one of these islands no no never I don’t even know if you can get to some of them by like a plane you have to fly to somewhere and then take a weird boat another place a really long skinny but I think Soyuz but you were talking about how you’ll sue Minh and they’ll be like a wiki entry no yeah and then you can read about the people that live there if there are people there or if it’s just like a weird like label base for something and about it you know about this one I told you you remember I told you I got obsessed with this island and I can’t I feel stupid that I can’t remember the name but it’s off the coast of Mexico in the Pacific Ocean it’s one of the most remote islands in the world nobody lives on it now but back in the day like a hundred years ago there were a man who basically started his own like little country and he had all these women and they they were all in the island because they were collecting bat guano bat feces can be they can be used for things and it’s just it has this toxic lake in the middle yes the kind of place I want to go have you read the wiki on this one no well now Google Mexico way out into the Pacific there’s an island there weird stuff happened and I’m down with that he’d be faster right on my alley you really find yourself on your phone like zooming in on ocean space mm-hmm that’s like one of the one of your things yeah big time I mean like is it not yours like I don’t understand how people are not so curious the same thing with space like I just can’t get enough of it like what do you mean you don’t know what’s out there I need to know can I google 800 conspiracy theories about the universe sorry I’m gonna space I’m gonna spend my time doing that think about Google sweet Google space I think no but it should be good zoom in on a planet and hit the wiki thing but see they have they don’t know enough about planets yet that’s the problem well you could do it and then just have that be like your thing okay I just patented it Google space works but you think about these I don’t know if the words metaphysical or cosmetic type things like Manik is not a word but you know what I’m not medic is a word cosmological is a word Jenna knew what I meant as a child did you own a telescope yeah I did actually oh that’s so out of the blue question it goes into space yeah there’s a miss base this is true we had a lake house in upstate New York my dad did and it was like a little tiny little lake and we were just you know super clear there’s no lights or anything out there and we would just sit out there and stare at the stars like I don’t know like a whole lot more than like any other eight year old about stars but we just sit there I’m like what do you think that is we don’t know a star a star with the telescope with the telescope so what I would use it to spy on the people across the lake but I liked the Stars you pointed it up and the moon really yeah so you had the charts and stuff no I don’t have any of that we just had telescope my dad’s a chemist so we were like a little bit nerdy okay an actual chemist yes and you guys used to be engineers right yeah we did look my brother’s an engineer oh yeah use the material science engineer for Hewlett Packard in Albany Oregon really mm-hmm material science yeah I got an industrial engineering degree civil engineering but chemical I mean the chemistry 101 that was I still have stress dreams about that class oh man I still I have if I have a stress dream about being back in college and not being somewhere on time is it Kim what L wanted yeah so you’re your father was his name or is mine Thomas Thomas yeah he fostered this kind of geekiness into you like here take this telescope well Jenna yeah just for like science and things like that not so much math math was like oh you know you get to math and you’re like we I don’t want to do this I just want to like put rocks and a rock tumbler all day oh right boy Jenna this is great you’ve really done it I opened Pandora’s box links thing thing is the rock tumbler is it really yeah oh so you didn’t get that working you’re like who knew that jenna Marbles was the perfect intersection of rhett and Link making things about ourselves you have to do these two on one interviews because we have to outnumber the guests we’ve talked about my rock tumbler experience as a child on multiple he was obsessed with the rock tumbler I had a telescope I pointed it at my neighbor’s house but I also had a rock tumbler yeah the thing was awesome it was boss it will come with the rocks that you’re supposed to put it in the tumbler and then they come on all shiny and they’re like oh this is great and then you know naturally as a kid you’re like well what else can I put in the rock tumbler and so it’s just all your stuff ends up on the rock tumbler yeah it just gets really weird no living things good well that’s cause you’re a girl yes I would have put a frog in there didn’t have one so tell us more about growing up Jenna you had the you had the telescope in at the lake house experience with your brother and your dad it is that what you lived like a summer house kind of thing yeah was it the summer house kind of thing and it was like an hour and a half away from Rochester as I grew up in upstate New York brutal winters really snowy because we not only had you know we’re up north but we would get lake effect snow which is like all the water accumulates over the lake and then just dumps on your city so I think this is a big lake what like we’re talking about uh Lake Ontario so one of the great ones right and like I think Buffalo got it the worst because it would go over the length of the lay of the lake but we just got like the width of the lake which was not as bad but they were like Canada storms that would dump on us and yeah we’d go to the lake house and fish and do all that stuff so like ice fishing we wouldn’t wouldn’t go in the winter that much we would only go a couple times I think we tried ice fishing and then my dad decided it was way too dangerous for little ones usually cut the ice like it gets intense yeah I’m not interested I don’t like being cold I don’t like fishing know what you don’t like fishing no I mean if you’re called fishing doesn’t warm you up I don’t like waiting does it that’s true you do out that piece you know I’ll do one of those farms one of those fish for me I can’t miss give me a net and like give me a pond full of salmon or something I’ll be happy to that okay what was there the entertainment spirit kind of starting to bubble up at that point class clown type scenario or the net going on not at all really no not at all so how were you how how where I had worried you terrified of Authority just wanted to go to school and get homework done I wanted to make my parents proud and get out of Rochester was like my number one goal just wanted to leave the miserable town project and and why do you want to leave him what did you think you were going to go to well like when I applied for colleges uh I brought my list of schools into my counselor and he like laughed and he was like these are all safe schools I’m like yeah but you don’t understand all I want to do is just go anywhere that’s a city because Rochester’s so like nothing’s happening like we would party and like fields like there’s nothing going on bonfires yes exactly and I just wanted a relatively small school cuz I was I just wanted a small class you know so that’s all that I really wanted and looking back I mean Rochester’s not a bad place it’s a great place but not for somebody that’s like itchy and wants city and hustle and bustle so that’s all I wanted and I got into every school that I applied to and I chose Suffolk and that’s in Boston so more of more of the same in college kind of it’s kind of like this the sequel of high school for you you’re not we’re not into this you becoming an entertainer yet still right no I I never thought that my life would be anything like this like I had a different life plan you know College for me was very much like I don’t know the way that I was raised I there’s a lot of strong women that surround me in my life and my family and like who who do you mean well my mom’s sister she was an Emmy winner for broadcast journalism um my other aunt she’s actually my grandma’s sister she worked in the Library of Congress for years and years and years I don’t know what it’s called but whatever the head of copyright during like the Napster years well she was in the library like these people they don’t take any from anybody you know an attic that explains why your most viral video has copy written a song anyway like how does she get away with that we got some never gonna give you up under there I don’t know how to happen it will it’s your aunt she pulled some strings for you you just gave us the answer you can deny now but we know I really don’t even know that my aunt knows how to use YouTube she’s like I didn’t want to derail you from any from the strong women yeah yeah for college I you know education was really really really important to me and that’s why I went on to graduate school because my education was not done you know I got my bachelor’s degree and it was like um so I don’t feel comfortable being an adult I think you need to keep learning some things so I put all my eggs in one basket and I applied to one graduate school because I was like if I get in great and if I don’t I’m not going like they took thirteen people a year and it was Boston University sports psychology program because my identity was so ingrained in this like sports and that sort of thing it’s so difficult to let that part of you die like to ever see a different part of your life you can’t imagine yourself without it like Who am I I have no idea I’ve been doing this my entire life so I chose sports psychology and I got in and I one of 13 yeah a year just bananas and I got in and I went and I met my advisor and I would say really like I started getting really goofy in college but not in any sort of entertainment way but like grad school and after grad school is when got goofy like really goofy how so give us a for instance well I was a youngest person in my graduate school program and I felt sort of like I was I had my big girl pants on I was trying to be like all these other adults you know like mm-hmm like we’re gonna be professionals in our field and blah blah blah I felt like I was being myself but just a really stuffy boring version of myself I need to let my butterfly go so what did that where did the butterfly go – well I through a series of events wound up working a bunch of part-time jobs which was like a tanning salon I was go-go dancing which is the best part-time job ever and I highly recommend it to anyone explaining the mechanics of that so you’re dancing mechanics you’re basically hired either by a club or a promoter or someone to come and like dance on a stage or like a box or in a cage like depending on the venue are you doing stage boxer cakes now I think it’s worth noting that you weren’t doing sports psychology right no I was on so okay so I’ve never worked in my field but you got your degree though correct you got your degree and then I mean we kind of skipped over that what why didn’t you get a job in sports psychology well I tried a friend of mine wanted to move to Texas and I was down because there’s great sport psychology jobs there especially in the military like using biofeedback and things like that and I was like you know what that sounds great and then she bailed on me like the last minute she was like you know I’m not gonna move to Texas and at that point I had like you know told my landlord I’m moving out like she just doesn’t really understand the consequences of things sometimes God loved her so we didn’t speak for like a year like I was thoroughly convinced that she had destroyed my life my education like everything I had worked for because there’s not really a whole lot of sports ecology jobs in Boston so that was the fork in the road to tanni salon and go-go dancer correct I was putting food on my table keeping a roof over my head at all costs because I don’t not that I have anything against people that do this but it was ever an option for me to be anything but financially taking care of myself you know like Oh Jenna you can move home was never a conversation that anybody had like it’s just not a choice like you’re an adult figure it out so I really I busted my ass so do whatever I could to just feed myself and uh you know it’s not the most fun thing in the world when you know you look at your degrees and you you have nothing show for it you have no job you’re literally cleaning people’s sweat out of a tanning bed while they treat you like some big dumb blonde idiot at your job and it’s just infuriating you know what I mean and I just felt like I had worked so hard and it sort of got thrown away for a lot of different reasons and it’s interesting because there’s that scene at the end of that first huge video where you’re like crying holding your degrees yeah that it seems like that was a very top of mind thing for a number of years that I had this plan hmm I have these degrees but it’s not it’s not happening but at least I’m going to embrace it for a comedy right in this video so connect the dots to that first video well I was working at a blog called parcel sports comm and I was sort of just as I started as a promo model because you know inappropriate pictures and then inappropriate dancing turns into like you stand and hold like liquor bottles and promote things for people so I got a job as his promo model for the owner Dave Portenoy and then so he saw you go-go dancing he found pictures of me and he was like I had done a little bit of promo work in the past and he was like oh can you fill in last minute for this thing and I never realized in this is gonna sound terrible but like in the world of like pretty girls that get paid to be pretty girls just being on time and then not being crazy is like a really big asset I was like okay I can do this cuz you know it’s just whether they mean to or not there’s like people’s boyfriends that come in and they start a fight and they’re or they’re just late or they don’t show up or then they don’t they’re mean to customers and they don’t talk I’m like it’s really not that hard like you just gotta hug them and like make sure that they’re having a great time like this is a great job like no am I alone I do think you have to be at least in the right mindset in order to do that you know what I mean like know that it’s your job to just stand there and do stuff and and look cute and make sure people are having fun but then he called me one day and was like do you want to be my assistant like help me do stuff and I’m like be kidding me because it was you know one of the first times I was gonna be able to have one job like and not go to 20 jobs and not work through the night every night and then that turned into a writing gig at the blog and he really helped me like find my you know voice and that sort of thing and what were you writing about it started off as like a guest blog on his blog so his blog is sports and hot girls and viral web material and that sort of thing and he was just having sort of write little blogs about anything just from a girl perspective and he came down into my office one day it was like you can write and I’m like what do you mean I can’t like I went to school I mean but I guess that shocked him so yeah I got to write for them for a little while and one day I was going home from that job from that office and I still needed to go go dance later that night I was still doing that because that was the most fun of all my jobs and I genuinely enjoyed it and I was like you know what I mean like I’m tired of people introducing themselves to me during the day and then introducing themselves to me later that night because they have no idea that I’m the same person like I looked so completely different and I understand like the the gender norm that sort of thing like that you’re a girl and you look a certain way and that means this sort of thing or whatever but I very much play into it I do that I put myself in all this makeup and whatever to look like a different person to do things like in order to make a living right now it’s a joke it sucks I hate it you know what I mean so I was like I’m just gonna record myself getting ready and just make it a video and like that was one of the most confusing times of my life and there’s been many times since then and since some other big videos like I’ll make something ridiculously funny that people really respond to and one of the weirdest like most confusing point to my life and I’m like what does this mean doesn’t mean if I’m happy I can’t make good content like this sucks okay so this in the video was just in case you happen to not know what she’s talking about is that how to make yourself yeah I treat people anything you’re good-looking and so you’re saying that during the day at that point in your life you were not very made of you know for the for the night job correct and you made the video for what were you watching youtube videos and you know I can do that too what was that outlet well in college I was using YouTube as a way to bypass the fact that my computer didn’t have a CD burner on it but I didn’t realize that it was a like a social media thing so I was uploading just dumb videos that I could then send the link to my friends or if it was a school project that I could you know access from the classroom instead of burning his CDs I didn’t have a CD burner so it was a spring so for this one I’m gonna make this video I’m gonna put on YouTube to send to friends or yes to send to friends the first thing I did was put it on Facebook but you would she had a but it was the jenna Marbles channel name at that point right it wasn’t your first video you had other videos and it was already called jenna Marbles yeah I had another channel before that it was called Jay Maury 66 which is falling just bowling yeah it’s still alive there’s stuff there but yet people were like oh you know she’s only been in youtubers in 2009 I had another Channel I had to change my last name because my mom was yelling at me that it was ruining her Google searches that I was using the word Maury which is our real last name she was like you got to change this weird stuff you’re putting on the internet with your name like it’s ruining my Google searches I’m trying to get a job which she was like switching jobs at that point it was ruining potential employers google searching her her correct she was like if you search Debra Maury like some of your stuff comes up and I don’t like it what are you doing in those videos that she was that she didn’t like nothing really I don’t they it was just like you know dumb stuff with my dog or pictures of me at go-go dancing or something where the it’s just not something you want an employer to see so yeah and so you change it they may hire your mom thinking they’re great one thing so so how did you come up with jenna Marbles marbles is my dog’s name okay so marbles was the dog’s name it wasn’t marbles his name dr. Jana Kermit doesn’t sound quite as good doesn’t Kermit came later people get mad about that okay you don’t show curtain eel of my karma gets plenty of love okay relax so you put the video up and you just put it on Facebook for your friends and then how quickly does this thing blow up well by the time I got to my go-go dancing job Lior that night people were like we saw that I’m like oh I just posted it like like I didn’t even watch it after I posted it like that’s crazy and then later that weekend I clicked on the video Sunday morning and I saw that had like 750,000 views and that’s when I started to get like hot in the face and like oh my god this is more than my friends like I don’t know these people this is pretty nerve-racking so I made it a point to call my mom and I was like mom I put something on here in it I swore in it and a lot of people have watched it and she’s sort of like nervously laughed like I don’t think she knew what to expect by that sentence and I was like no I’ll send it to you and look at it and she just said the main reason the whole I swore in it part was that why you told her because you knew she was gonna see it you didn’t want her to think you were swearing I don’t know I don’t know I I was just sort of telling her what it was the best that I could just so she was prepared for the words that came out of my mouth we weren’t really allowed to swear growing up um so maybe that’s why I like to swear I feel like I’m getting away with stuff but she watched it and she like giggles and I’m like good we’re all good then we’re we’re great now because as long as you laugh and think it’s funny then I have no worries you know what I mean so you got it straightened out with your mom she was okay with it but what were you thinking at the time I mean I another week past and how many more views came along and what and what was you know it was a lot it was few million I mean it by the end of that week and it hit like a million which was like I posted on a Friday night and it was like Sunday it was like a million views so I did I was like nervous and but I wanted to just keep making videos because I just had a lot of things in my head that I wanted to make but I didn’t know what to do like you can’t wrap your head around a million views when that happens you’re like what does this mean now what do you mean a million people like I think the most people I’ve ever seen my life is like fifty thousand Bruno and then your brains just like what what what is this I don’t know and and it’s also you know having talked a lot of people here on your biscuits who all of a sudden they’re there YouTube stardom kind of just was was overnight yeah you know you have different stories there might be someone who was trying over and over and over again and one thing popped for you it was kind of like oh I’ve got this idea this is my outlet all posted for my friends and then that we can it gets a million views what kinds of things were running through your head in terms of is this life changing were you thinking things like that well no I wasn’t thinking about if it was life changing because at that point I was so working for the blog I was working for parcels forts and his reaction to the video he put it on his website and his reaction to that was well you know you’re let’s give you your own blog like let’s give you a girl version of this blog and you know I was sort of confused like well don’t you think I should just make more videos like that would be cool right and he’s like no you can do that all you want but I want you to write a girl version of our blog and so I did and I thought it was gonna be great and fun and it was for a while but it just didn’t have the traction behind it the way that the video had and so at that point he’d redirected you you didn’t make another video I like made a couple but I was you know took maybe six months off from making content after that first video six months something like that because I was writing the girl version of his blog for about six months and it’s you know it’s not a good financial investment for him to keep funneling money into my website that’s not getting millions and millions of views like he had hoped off of this video so we started parted ways and then I was he telling you not to do another video oh no you were just too busy I was busy blogging it to any blogger in the world that thing is a full-time job oh my god like oh just never ends non-stop when you wanted them in but you didn’t want to do that you wanted to make more videos you guys parted ways and then you started doing it back up again did were you surprised at the audience that you started to gather around you yes in what way I did not know how young they were what we yeah what did you think and how did you figure out who it was well coming from the blogging background which was the demographic was the older drinking of drinking age mail so those are the people that had followed me to YouTube but then the other people that were watching me I was like how old are you like this doesn’t make any sense like you’d click on someone’s channel that had commented on your video annually but you’re like 13 like I swore I like drinking this video like what do you mean you can watch this like wearing parents but totally not the point because kids can watch whatever they want and they do I was surprised that they were young and that they were identifying with what I was saying because I’ve never really tried to address being a teenager or like being a young person when I’ve talked about some of those topics but I don’t like make them for teenagers but when you found out that you did have a large teenage and very large female the majority yes did that change anything about the way you thought about your content no if anything it just felt like more fun because when you’re performing like a thing and you think or know that the opposite sex is watching sometimes it gets a little nerve-racking you’re like well this makes me uncomfortable but when you know it’s like 13 old girls you’re like in the trust tree in the nest like these are my boo-boos these are my internet friends like all they want to do is like talk to you and be your friend and it felt really really really good it was a much more satisfying feeling to me to know that my audience was female girls as opposed to 25 year old men you know what I mean like if you knew that your I wasn’t as creepy it wasn’t as creepy and it felt like there was way less pressure honestly but you also said that you know your initial reaction was whoa I I was swearing and I was drinking in the videos that was your first thought it was kind of like going back to the mom thing where you – mom I swore in this video right it seems that you were at the same time kind of having that that reaction to these younger girls watching your video but it did that didn’t translate into you change you altering your content right so what was kind of going on your mind at that point it seemed like there was there had have been a decision to be made what do you mean to not change my content yeah well honestly you were surprised I was surprised but what I liked about it was that I was staying true to myself and someone you know like that seemed may be too young to me could get something out of it of value so Who am I to say that you’re too young to be watching this and that because the people that are watching me are of a certain age that I should do something different or more appropriate like it’s not my place if you want to watch my video that’s your thing and if they take something from that that maybe a parent would feel is inappropriate then they’re gonna get that information or material somewhere else like it really doesn’t matter but I can only be myself I can’t talk about things that don’t matter to me and you know making fake content that I think that someone would wanna watch just feels ridiculously fake and stupid to me how do you do you think that that perspective and you know that authenticity that you bring to it is the reason that you’re the number one female on on YouTube and I and in the top you know three of everyone I don’t know I have no idea why my channel is where it is I it’s an incredible amount of luck and a lot of it’s like a recipe of a lot of things that happen I like to think that maybe it’s because people can relate to me and I can only keep it real you know what I mean I can’t I can’t do brand deals I can’t do like the super fake collaborations not that there’s anything wrong with the people that can successfully do those I just can’t force something you know I mean I can only say true to myself and when when people you know stuff in their pockets with money for these brand deals I’m like I can’t do it it doesn’t feel right I would literally sit on the screen and be like drink such and such product because they’re paying me and I’m like sucking my soul out right now I’m sorry like it would be the fakest promotion you’ve ever seen in your life I just can’t I can’t do it I can’t so I I hope that people think that I’m genuine because I am you get any of those people approached you for brand deals you don’t do them just sentiment to us it never gets easy to say no though it never does because I always want to say yes well I’m a terrible liar but you know and I do think that there is a and I’m not and this is not to defend guys like us who do a lot of brand deals but I do think there’s a there’s a difference in your content because agreed your content is is is this is kind of a – it’s an observation in a question your content is is you right right so we do content that is us but we do a lot of contents that’s performance based or scripted or music videos or whatever and sponsorship kind of feels a little bit different in that context yeah but you know I think that when your content is so much you when you’re a vlogger yeah people are coming to you they’re coming for you so if you don’t know you say it’s a recipe of a lot of different things but what it what do you think people are coming back for because they’re coming back for something and they keep coming back because you obviously you’re not a flash in the pan you weren’t one viral video you’re in this you’ve been in this for a long time with no signs of slowing down I mean what what did people coming back for beats me it beats me all I know is that when I meet people in person its we have like a it’s a connection you know what I mean they feel like they know me and they do know a lot of me they know everything that I’m willing to put on camera which is a lot and I’m I’m more than happy to hug and spend time with anybody that feels that connection with me and I always feel it back always like they literally just want to have a conversation with you and that’s it and that makes them very happy and that makes me very happy so I think it might be the fact that these people you don’t really feel like they know me and it’s because they they do a lot mm-hmm you know like they’re they’ve grown up with me a lot I’ve grown up in a lot of ways yes so your audience you give them the real you they know you they have that connection but it is there a sense of isolation when you become as popular as you are I mean maybe on a on a personal level for sure absolutely I mean it’s a lot it’s like something that a lot of people don’t really talk about how lonely it is when you work alone in your house all the time and that’s why I was late today and thank you very much for letting me be late because one of the only things that I do is leave the house to go lift really heavy stuff every day and it’s really important to me because you’re like work for a moving company like deadlifts like push-ups and stuff it’s really really important to me for my sanity to make sure that I get out of the house once a day and to make sure that I make human real contact with other people every day and you know it’s really easy to not take care of yourself I like to go a little bit crazy to have like weird internet hours which always turns into like the dark internet corner hours or like 2:00 in the morning because I don’t I’m not married don’t have kids like I don’t have this sort of like innate family structure it’s like me so like when you’re depending on yourself to sort of like create your life sometimes you’re just like yeah whatever we’re just gonna do anything that I want and then it just you don’t have any structure right you know my Wednesday videos keep me honest but then the rest of it is sort of just like when my brain allows me to like put myself out there I put myself out there but it is lonely and I’m not sure if it has anything to do with the level of popularity because I felt just as lonely and isolated in Boston when I lived there I moved out here like two three years ago three years ago I think because I sort of thought like oh well here’s all these people that do the same thing as me and I’m alone in Boston and everybody works in finance and doesn’t understand what I do but but but now doing this even your closest relationships by default become the most public yes you know I mean you went through a very public breakup I did and so I mean what you’re not that public it’s not like the whole time awful yeah I mean but people did know that that was the thing because because you got you you had a relationship you guys were in each other’s videos and I mean it was then when that ended there was I mean there were there were tweets flying back and forth you’re telling us okay I don’t have a lot of people in my life personally and then when the closest people are on display yes it’s very very hard so I mean when it with the max situation how did you deal with that how did that feel you want the honest answer of course we’re gonna go there all right this is ear biscuit when Max and I broke up it was like I’m sure max is gonna kill me if he ever hears this because I’m not I know no he wouldn’t we’re in a good place now but our breakup was like a long time coming it we had like we met each other when I was 21 and he was like 22 and it started off on the wrong foot we didn’t really trust he was dating everyone and I was dating another guy and you know we just sort of started this like fling level like sure whatever you’re cool you’re cool like I like you I like you and then a couple years later we like moved in together it was like a very adult relationship and we moved to LA together and he quit his job for me he worked in real estate development and he was really good at it and he has this great education and a great family and I think you know I can’t speak for them but I imagine they’re sort of like well what are you doing like why are you quitting this great job that you’ve worked so hard for and it was because we’re in love and blah blah blah but and he was with you before during and after the yeah we were really like almost 5 years so he was there with me through everything like he was my rock you know and we moved to LA and he started just helped me and you know as anyone would it’s sort of like well why do you get to have this cool life and I’m just over here like helping you like this doesn’t make any sense and Max is more than smart and capable and funny and he was a great sounding board for me to balance ideas off of but in our personal relationship like we had a lot of issues that never just never got resolved from when we started and there’s a lot of hurt like a lot of distrust a lot of pain and it was so frustrating to me to look back and see some of like my best content came out of his time and I was like so sad like really sad really really in love but we just had sort of like a bad romance at the time you know and it needed to end one way or another and it ended and I got obliterated drunk for two weeks straight long story short the way that I dealt with that was incredibly immature but it was like I really felt like I just could not be in my brain space and I woke up after two weeks basically of just being an idiot I I was like on chatroulette like hit my friends like yeah we just got can you come over man like let’s hang out I gotta get drunk and I woke up and I was like what am i doing like something terrible is gonna happen to me if I keep doing this like I have to pull myself together you know but I had uploaded like a video of extras like I was trying anything because when you have this like horrible hole in your heart you’re like how in the world can I possibly be funny at this moment I can’t be entertaining I can’t think about anything other than just trying to make it through the day so you didn’t upload any videos you you tried to republish some extra content to keep I did your fans at bay I did i sat in the video I didn’t address it immediately I dress it about a month later when I told people that we had broken up because I needed to give myself like at least a month to calm down from like saying anything that I would really regret or that would hurt me or hurt him because it’s he had started making YouTube videos at that point right so you know I had never dated someone that did something that wasn’t like a regular person job like you know if you break up then you break up and or whatever but this was the first time that I was like I can’t say something all I have is my voice and my genuineness and I can’t I just need to for my own sake and for his sake just be quiet for a little bit and it’s really for me to be quiet but that was really really hard for me to just address my audience and say you know I’m I don’t I don’t feel good this week and I I’m really sorry I just got to put up some extras and I didn’t say what it was about that was really really difficult well an interesting thing about that too is that there there are a lot of vloggers who will share about new relationships existing relationships ended relationships now that a lot of times is a very entertaining and you are very entertaining and I think you you think about your audience so you weren’t like you know what I’m going through this very difficult time I’m gonna leverage this for content that will be connecting to my audience because what I hear kind of underneath all that is the mentality is I’m really here to entertain my audience not not that you’re putting on a show for them you’re being authentic but you are performing in one sense I mean you’re a comedian right and so you’re like I don’t have the comedy is not coming because of what I’m going through right now as opposed to actually making a video about the break-up talk about that process do you think it’s do you think it’s just the generation that you’re from you know maybe if you were 17 you would you would have blocked vlog about that or I guess maybe I mean I can’t say for sure but all I do know is that had I experienced any of this YouTube or internet thing at a younger age then my phone jeez that’s not my ring I’m not sure that I would be able to handle something like that I feel like because I started as an adult and I’m still an adult that I can handle sort of like thinking about this in an appropriate way like what’s an appropriate way to do this not that 17 and you know we just broke up and I hate this person whenever not that that’s inappropriate I just think that maybe as an adult I didn’t see that as an option you know what I mean right it just didn’t it didn’t feel right I didn’t want to and it’s only been as of like recently I guess I’ve even you know said anything about it because I had put max out there and max put himself out there because I was out there and he saw how incredibly rewarding and amazing it can be so he wanted to but you did make a decision at some point to let him have it in a couple of tweets I did I did I did I was mad that day and that but that was later it was it was much later it was much later I was really really mad that day well based on what you tweeted it sounds like you know that you were justified but I mean I’m just reading a couple of tweets I don’t know the whole story I don’t I don’t I don’t think it’s not that I want you to go into the rest of the story I just found it interesting that you know you kind of had this okay I’m gonna be professional about this we’re just parting ways but then there’s this you gave him one last I did jab I did and if you ask him that’s not what happened um but it’s a gray area it’s a gray area of what happened there and what I said and when he says but I mean there’s two people in a relationship and I guess this one particular thing or lots of things or anything I felt very differently about and I felt strongly about and I was very angry in the past I guess I’ve let it go at this point but I was angry at the fact that you know he had a youtube channel I was like what the hell you didn’t figure out your life you figured out my life like that’s not fair but I’ve stuck back from that because max has a lot to offer as a human being because I mean I was in love with a kid for five years still in love with him will always be in love with him but like who am I to say that you can’t be on the internet or that that should make me mad because that’s a very childish thing to do because I have always thought there’s enough room on the internet for everyone like everyone everyone has a place anyone can just do a thing and how that’d be awesome like it was stupid of me to even be mad about that I was very very mad for a long time but I’m in a better place well let’s talk about let’s talk about the better place date that you’re at right now kind of time back into this this idea of moving out to LA thinking that okay maybe I’m gonna be a part of this community sounds like that didn’t necessarily pan out it wasn’t like all of a sudden you had a bunch of friends who were youtubers or whatever you you were in a relationship with max that ended and then now you’re in another relationship I guess I’ve never admitted that but yes yes it and that wasn’t that wasn’t somebody you met it uh that wasn’t a youtuber you met at a YouTube party no no no it’s not he’s uh tell us about Julian oh my god you guys it’s so embarrassing I mean he’s in your videos very very very awesome how did you guys meet Julian worked at the bar up the street from my house and Max and I actually met him while we were together oh really so max is not very fond of Julian I don’t think I don’t think Julian’s very fond max but we’re all adults but Julian’s freaking awesome he’s really really awesome and um he was there for me for a lot of things and so I’m very grateful so I mean are you guarded now because of the whole max thing being on display is I mean I guess that’s what’s behind you being so guarded at this point but there’s only so much you can do you are on display I mean this is difficult I know it well here’s the thing is that I’m more guarded for the people that watch my videos than I am about myself I’m obviously willing to put myself out there max was to some extent so it was Julian it’s not me that I’m concerned about it’s the the people that get so attached to this person then they are very upset about us breaking up yeah so I want to make sure because it’s not something that’s safe for me to assume because I’m willing to put myself out there that anyone that I’m with is willing to be put out there because you know my family and that sort of thing friends like they’re not all comfortable being in a vlog or being in an Instagram picture they don’t we don’t put our wives in our video not everyone wants to be out there so I try to be mindful of that and I also want to test a relationship to a certain point where if someone’s comfortable with it and they want to then oh you can do whatever you want you can be in here am I going to openly promote someone the way that I did with max maybe not maybe I would have learned my lesson from that much but people know who Julian is people know that we’ve been dating I just try and be careful I guess for other people and for the person that I’m dating you know right you’re trying to make it as uncomplicated as as a relationship can be correct speaking of being guarded I was just curious in terms of video content is there something you’ve ever regretted talking about or doing oh well I did make the you know quote-unquote slut-shaming video people were very upset about I don’t regret anything but I wish I had done a better job explaining what tell us about that video and just kind of summarize the content well my goal in making that video was I mean as you guys know a lot of times you get reminded that you have social responsibility to these people that watch your videos you can’t just like you know do whatever you want and then have not some like a bunch of people be like you have an audience like you have a platform like why aren’t you doing anything to help people and I really wanted to make that video because I was just I felt very saturated and have my entire life with this like sexy sex thing going on and then it’s really cool to just like be sexually liberated and I wish I had put a disclaimer on that video like if you you know college and above or high school and above and you’re very comfortable your sexuality like please go do that like I’m not trying to shame anyone that is an adult and knows like how they feel about their body and other people’s bodies and that sort of thing I was making it more so for the young girls that you know are told on a regular basis like it’s really cool to just sleep around and do whatever you want and just have coochie and ass and it’s all over the place what’s the video called uh things I don’t understand about girls the edition people have a problem with that word and I defined it in the beginning is not not the girl that’s like you know sleeps a lot of people or that girl’s really confused it’s just the girl where you’re just like oh yeah I know who you’re talking about and people are very they’re mad at that but that’s in my brain that’s what that is and it’s ironic to me that I imagine you get a lot of criticism for not taking advantage of your your platform and being a positive influence on young women and it seems like that this was your video where you were trying to do that I was taken it went horribly wrong it was awful I literally I got crucified for saying the words I did in that video people took that as me victim blaming and saying that if you get raped or an STD that it’s your fault I mean I was just so taken aback at the things that people responded to that and hurt and upset and it’s totally I will not delete a video just on principle but I was so upset that that’s what people left that video feeling because what I wanted people to hear because I try and be entertaining trying to talk about something that is important to me to just give the message that I think monogamy is cool and you know if you’re a 13 year old girl and we’re having honors conversation around a dinner table that I think that you’re cool if you like one person and you don’t have sex with a lot of people just because I know that you get told that by your friends and by people that you look up to on a regular basis and just that I think that you’re cool just the way that you are if you like one person I’m down with that I like that like cool good for you so did you make a follow-up video where you just kind of looked it in I never did because I I was just so appalled and the response videos of people telling me that I was victim shaming and blaming and all of this nonsense and the the underlying theme of that was to just I think that it’s cool to do like relationships that make sense that you have emotional feelings behind and that girls should look out for each other like that was the other thing that people just totally glazed over like I described the scene where I’ve seen so many times where a girl is sort of just like drunken in the corner of a party like you can’t see you don’t know where her friends are maybe we’ve been watching her for a little bit she’s like passed out on the couch like go help that girl go help that girl be that person it doesn’t matter that you’re a stranger you’re another girl at least you’re not a dude and no offense to you dudes but like I would just feel so much more comfortable if I was in that situation and a girl came up to me and was like let me help you but because you know girls as creatures we sort of have this like ruffle your feathers like girl competition sometimes I feel like there’s a lack of that there’s a lack of the empathy for the drunk girl in the corner that needs help and doesn’t know where her friends are what did that response things didn’t go the way that you anticipated them to go did that make you hesitant to make videos that have quote-unquote a moral to the story sure yeah I mean I definitely thought about it for a little bit and I’m not sure that I’ve gone into depth especially in that topic I’m gonna stay off that for a little bit because it’s clearly a hot-button topic for people but I feel the way that I feel about it and I don’t take back what I said I I’m extremely upset and apologetic for the way that people took it that was certainly not my intention ever but I I’m going to say what I’m gonna say and I’m gonna keep making content that is true to me whether or not people agree with that but I was upset that people took it the way that they did for sure it sucks you know I also wanted to ask you about a year ago The Good Morning America give that lady that I actually feel a little bad no because I took us on cecilia Vega tell you that much and how did you do that I mean how would you characterize the interview first because I know that you know Hank green came to your defense yes an article yeah how he characterized the interview when I went in that interview right we sat down had like a really honest conversation like we’re having right now and it seemed like it was gonna be a totally different outcome you know you just she had a lot of questions that made sense and sounded like she had done some homework and you know wasn’t just sort of being a jerk and then the piece came out and she just had edited the entire thing that I was like ridiculous and ridiculous I’m ridiculous it’s I ridiculous and I was like I can’t believe I sat down with that woman and talked to her and like said anything of value to her because if I knew she was gonna do that I would just sit there and give her the finger the entire time you know and so I was I was very appreciative of the support from the YouTube community because oh how do you mean would how would you say that it made you look I mean for those who haven’t seen it just to characterize it in that way when you know they edited you know the one question I wish I had counted how many times you’ve said ridiculous and then they did a montage of it yes yes I mean you watching that say oh they made me out to be what I don’t know ridiculous but I’m not scared of you know sort of traditional media painting you out to be this like underground troll that like does things on the internet because anyone that’s watching Good Morning America is not on the internet so they don’t really care they’re like good to know cecilia Vega thank you but anyone that knows how to use the internet was like okay that was kind of backhanded too like what the heck so and so but how did you respond you said you took a donor I did I wrote a blog that was like you know this is the perfect example traditional media not really understanding how people consume content or want to I don’t know live their lives because she was rude and I didn’t appreciate it so I told her that the Internet’s not going anywhere and you basically and was there ever any response no but she did stop tweeting for like a bunch of weeks and I was like sick like you she probably got hammered on Twitter I think she got in trouble a little bit but um yeah sure I’m pretty sure she’s fine now just I think she’ll stay away from youtubers right well an interesting thing we were talking about this is and this is always the case and it just it always drives me crazy but the the introduction of the of the piece was jenna Marbles the most famous person you’ve never heard it and it’s just that’s I I don’t know why traditional media continues to refer to anyone who is popular in any other medium other than a traditional one in that way or you know we don’t know you don’t we’re introducing you to this YouTube celebrity correct but I find it ironic I got a little anecdotal evidence here and this won’t be surprising anybody listens to ear biscuits but I just thought in light of seeing that the way they portrayed you on good mythical morning oh good good sorry you should be a guest right over there was I when we were coming back from playlist and you were on the same plane with us and I don’t even know the guys name the guy who plays Scotty in Star Trek so you know a blockbuster movie that lots of people have seen he’s also in Lord of the Rings yeah yeah right he was one of those horse dudes yeah so he’s sitting there in the airport no one no one is talking to him no one recognizes him and then here comes jenna Marbles and there’s like this I guess there were cheerleaders from somewhere around yeah anyway like 3040 girls all of a sudden there’s jenna mourey jennamarbles and and I just thought isn’t that just a perfect picture of the reality the reality here in the airport is that everybody is is once I go talk to Jenna and no one’s talking to Scotty from Star Trek but on Good Morning America and we’re talking about the new Star Trek the overweight guy with a mustache but in traditional media you’re just the person that no one’s ever heard of how does that when you when you saw that you were obviously thinking about a lot of different things but you probably have done a lot of interviews and you’ve talked to a lot of people in these traditional circles and how do you kind of deal with that perception that oh I am that person from the underground that thing you don’t know about I just don’t I go in sort of assuming that they don’t they don’t know who I am they’re sort of just doing it because I was telling them to and a lot of times that is the case but I just try and not care because if they don’t get it it’s not really my problem I mean it’s not really my problem that is 2014 and you don’t know how the internet works like I think you got some other issues coming like you better figure out that internet dick well do you do you feel do you feel like do you ever find yourself thinking maybe not you want to prove something to those people or you know we talked to we talked on lots of people who are probably on the internet but they almost always are like well yeah but I want to do this yeah I do want to do the jenna Marbles movie or the jenna Marbles TV show do you do you find yourself thinking that yeah you know I am more than I am more than just a someone talked into our webcam I do want to do this this and this do you put that kind of pressure on yourself no I don’t I have no idea what I want to do can I tell you how ridiculously like out of place I feel sometimes around these incredible other youtubers that have the most amazing ideas and every like will and way to do it like they will do like Michael Gallagher like the Tobii like these people are insane like they have so many ideas if you sit down with Hannah Hart at any given moment she has 10 million ideas and I am just not one of those people I just sort of go with the flow I don’t have like this list of goals I don’t have things that I’m trying to do or want to do I’m just like a where the wind blows me so I am not sure that I have anything to prove or that I like I’m consciously ever thinking that I’m just like I’m so happy just being like a person that’s alive in the universe and yeah I’m just sort of like going wherever this goes and if it goes somewhere really cool not that this isn’t really cool because it’s really cool if it goes somewhere else like I’m down to go there you know so no I don’t have anything approve and I don’t have any ideas yes oh my god when I first started and it was like Joe Penna like mr. guitar man and you know you look at his channel and you’re like what the hell like what am i doing like he just did like a stop motion like it the most insane thing I’ve ever seen am like well I guess I’m just gonna show my cat Peter now it’s just crazy it scares me that you know I’m not a daily vlogger these people that work these insane hours all decay which you work like 20 hours of day every day all the time that’s insane I could scare sometimes I’m like what am i doing enough like what are we doing I don’t know and the only way I’ve been able to come to peace with that it’s just like you can’t compare yourself to other people’s work and what other people are doing you just have to do what feels right to you so that’s what I do but it is intimidating well yeah I mean you say in your draw my life video that you have to be confused in life or you won’t grow it’s true it’s true and I’m confused all the time all the time I don’t know why people just think like I don’t know I guess you could consider it like I got good at YouTube I got better at YouTube than it was so if you get good dirt at something then you like must know what you’re doing I don’t know what I’m doing all I know is that I just upload every week and just do that I just try to make things in my brain exists but I don’t know what I’m doing well I mean and since you made that statement into all my life you gain five million subscribers over the the next year so it it’s still working what do you hope that anyone listening to this ear biscuit has learned or has changed their mind about you oh geez um I guess that do you have a sense of that you know that you kind of choose your words you figure out how you’re gonna present yourself because people want to judge you um I never know how to choose my words because I don’t know how they’re coming out of my mouth when they’re coming out but I don’t know if there’s anything if you think people should take or would maybe take is that you know when you’re really excited and uppity on the internet and doing really goofy stuff that’s not you all the time like I can’t tell you how many people come up to me or like Oh Ryan Higa or anybody that’s just like oh like thinking of one of your guys is like really funny hilarious songs and things like that and they’re like well you know I thought you’d be more like crazy and out of control and you’re like no there’s a time and a place for that yeah and when you’re doing that then you’re like that but like if you’re walking around like that 24/7 you’re the most obnoxious person on the planet you know what I mean what I would hope people would take away from this are any time that you’re talking honestly around a table and microphones is that sometimes you just need to like be a human being and let’s all be human beings sometimes you know like who can go to bed while they’re sleeping and they like Disney like Jenna throw in a Disney here and there well we appreciate the time it’s been great to get to know you now yeah you’ve got to sign the roundtable of deadlines [Music] and that was the Jenna Marbles ear biscuit we think about that link that was that was an experience that was experience for us because not only did we talk to the most popular youtuber we ever talked to but it was someone who we had only met in passing like said hey to like one time yeah and then the entire everything that we know personally about jenna Marbles that doesn’t come from her videos just happened at the roundtable of dim lighting and she was real right here it was the real Jenna yeah and that’s the thing that I think the main thing that I noted is that it was just like observing someone who is so naturally talented and suited for YouTube it’s like what she does what she brings to YouTube that has become so immensely popular is something that when you sit down on your meter in person you see how she is just being herself and herself is what makes her so big on YouTube being being who she is she wasn’t in performance mode I think watching having heard her in her own words for this past hour plus watching her videos it clicks even more that she is authentically being naturally the comedian that she just is right that authenticity is perfectly suited for astronomical success on YouTube right it’s like you know again I I try to resist doing this but I can’t I’m fascinated when I think about just the people who’ve been at this table to talk to us and I would just make these incredible observations about these amazing people you were incredible reservations about incredible any better mediocre observations about incredible people okay that’s the more accept and we always talk about how there is this tenacity people have tried all these different things and you see that with Jenna she did she had she does have a tenacity and you cannot be in this business without a tenacity and this and this approach but the the fact that it is that this is a natural thing to her she wasn’t someone who sat around and like schemed try to figure out how to make things work on YouTube she was just like I’m gonna do what makes sense to me right that webcam and those jump cuts perfectly placed are the natural habitat for her comedic instant it wasn’t like just okay oh yeah my lisa says it was like no this is this is something that is just skyrocketed to the top of YouTube and just camped camped out there I mean as long as anybody really you know and you know I just think it was fun it was a it was fun for me personally I think there I don’t know how much people might have picked up on it but there’s a different tone when I feel like we’re like we’re learning a whole lot in the process because it’s like I’ve been familiar with their content but I just haven’t known her personally and so my mind was just kind of going through all these things like man it’s like this the experiences that add up to who this woman is and how that plays out on YouTube she’s fascinating you had a fascinated tone yes you did yeah it’s could you hear it in my voice I could hear the fascination and I hope that you at home were also fascinated on your car or wherever you were being ear biscuit it you’ve been here biscuit but Jenna Mari you gotta go you’re gonna go by the real name well we’ve we’ve had some quality time okay all right I just messed up her mom’s googling I still don’t understand I don’t think our mama understands how Google works well I mean you know I understood my dad has never contacted me and said listen man you know people are searching for another McLoughlin on the internet and it’s messing up my prospects we have a different first name well we we can have Jenna back and that can be the person the next year biscuit is just know she could bring her mom are okay you know we can you know what that’s where we could start doing we could start bringing parents of youtubers own well it may get to that we could call it like ear oatmeal or something like that your fiber its ear fiber we only speak to the parents of youtubers I think our grandparents there’s nothing well this is like a fine brothers thing we try we find different people to bring in and different ways to divide up the idea yeah here biscuits ear oatmeal and ear fiber thanks for hanging out with us and Jenna for this ear biscuit as always you should tweet at Jenna and let her know what you thought of this also we appreciate you guys leaving a review on iTunes that helps us and the ear biscuit you can also leave a comment on Soundcloud and communicate with us via Twitter with hashtag ear biscuits and if you’re one of those people that communicates via smoke signal I’m gonna say that you can hear you loud you can hear you can represent ear biscuits with doing seven little bursts of smoke and then like three additional burst of smoke for like a five minute pause in between the two and that’ll be like our little thing with it oh yeah your biscuits the key is getting other people to understand that’s what you’re talking about they would have to actually listen to the show to kind of defeat the purpose so for all you smoke cigarettes out there thanks things for your help in promoting the show [Music] [Music]