EB 293: Our Anniversary Trips

[Music] welcome to ear biscuits the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time i’m rhett one of those friends and i’m linked the other one of those you just added something new come on man this week at the round table of dim lighting we got a lot to catch up on my friend because we’re both fresh out of the oven of uh wedding anniversary celebrations and uh also like my extended birthday celebration oh that’s what you call it which i’m yeah i just bless you sorry i just scatch you i think somebody put some metal shavings in my coffee don’t question it they taste great right you’ll love them once they take effect the funny thing is you gave me this mug and you here’s the thing you’ve never done that i was like just indulged i said i got to make myself a coffee and then out of nowhere like you i turn around you’re like hey use this mug and you’ve never in the history of our 35 eight i don’t know how long it’s been to your friendship you offered me a mug and now two sips in i’m choking on metal shavings well they’re not metal shavings what is it what’d you do to my car they will dissolve eventually uh in your in your gi tract bark just go with it i’m trying to i just couldn’t even speak yeah i’m back from it my anniversary may not be as many years as yours but it’s more significant because it was 20 years and yours was 21 years you’ve already done 20 years right and so i spent a week a week and the reason we went for a week is because Jessie and i have been talking for 10 years about our 20-year anniversary and how it was gonna be in italy italy we’re like so excited about italy good luck with that and of course uh something called covet happened and travel is uh hampered and so we just went to big sur which let me just say just went to big sur big sur made me better than italy i don’t know i haven’t been to italy it’s not called little sir it’s called big for a reason right it’s it’s living large so i had a lot of things happen that we’ll get into i would not call it northern cal central central coast the central coast of california uh you’ve got redwood trees and forests i’ll tell you all about it right to the cliff’s edge i’ve only driven through that i’m freaking jealous a little angry good um because you’re trying to kill is that why you’re trying to kill me am i gonna am i going to die before the end of this podcast no good as long as i make it through this one last release it’s just going to be for me your death is just going to be for me it’s not going to be monetized what if i did die before the next podcast would you post this one and ironically it’d be like we joked about him dying at the beginning of this yes i would have to yeah i would have to and then you know i got plenty to say so i could probably just keep this going where one lifelong friend talks to himself for a long time wow that’s a good idea maybe we just start two podcasts maybe we just split and go with two podcasts two lifelong friends talk to themselves for a long time i’m sure there’s a codependency to our relationship i just kind of avoid knowing what that term means because i don’t want to you haven’t been in therapy long enough all right uh but yeah i don’t i don’t introduce myself to strangers as a lifelong friend to someone who you’re not currently meeting yeah right i’ve never done that who i’m currently murdering on a podcast for christy and our 20th anniversary last year do you know what i mean plans for us to do go to big sur go to freaking big sur yeah but you were in the you were in the sick of the pandemic and it was um yeah it was i it was one of those times when i thought i might still be able to go because it was in the woods and we’d be isolated but it was so early that i had we had to cancel the thing entirely and then so much has been up in the air i did not rebook it until i heard that you were going to big sur then i’m like well i’m not going to big sur the same week and actually we didn’t go anywhere for a whole week because of like schooling logistics and some factors at our home we ended up saying okay you know what we’re just gonna plan a weekend away we’re gonna christy was eyeing this like really nice hotel that had all this really uh fancy decor all over the place it’s like a new design for an and a new hotel okay it’s the kelly wurstler hotel uh that name does seem like the one that she was telling i just know that because my wife is a designer it was super cool so we just stayed there like basically two days two nights almost three days two nights and we had just like just dedicated time together at this hotel and i’m going to tell you about it um we have a couple we have a couple of little there’s a couple of things that we want to cover before we get any further some logistics logistics uh one thing is we’re about to take a break now you remember you’re supposed to remember the details of this break so why don’t you well um today we’re talking about our trips next episode we are going to be unveiling the results of the survey that we gave to our wives we have not we’ve not read those ahead of time we’re going to process that next week on the show almost a year ago we gave a survey to our kids and got their like just unfettered feedback so now you know after our anniversary celebrations maybe we buttered them up enough well i mean uh put a pin in that well remember to ask me about buttering my wife up my wife told me while we were on vacation that she had already completed the survey i know that’s what christy told me and i saw i don’t think that helped so next week we’re going to be we’re going to be um going through all of that data and seeing what we what we’re going to learn from our our wives unfettered feedback and then we’re going to take a three-week break no air biscuits for three weeks unless we decide to like re-release some old ones just to keep the feed alive i don’t know i’m i’m soft pitching that we’ll figure that out um i think it’s not a bad idea i it’s a lot of podcasts a little late to be figuring it out but at least you’ll have something in your feed that maybe you haven’t heard before that’s my idea if we can if we can get um if we can get approval if we can get them i approve it i don’t know what you know i don’t know what kiko’s plate looks like i don’t want to just yeah because we have to record some like bookends you know like this is an episode from 2008 and uh we didn’t have a podcast in 2008 we’re in the weeds so we’re doing that so so we’re going to take a three week break or maybe it won’t feel like one to you if we follow through on this thing but next week the surveys uh also latest episode of ronstadt is out man people people loving ronstat i mean as i speak and i don’t know what’s going to happen by the time this comes out there’s a number 11 podcast in all of the united states the number 11 podcast in all genres i’d love to be able to say top 10. well maybe it’s going to be there maybe it’ll probably pop up i don’t know hey keep listening maybe that wrong stat scripted fully immersive character driven adventures in this latest episode uh ronstadt learns the spell doesn’t go too well that rhymes okay let’s get back into it i’ve got a story that i’m i’m trying to figure out if i want to tell it honestly like i’ve been going been going back and forth on something that happened to me uh i guess that’s the best way to put it something that happened to me uh i mean from a different person’s perspective it might have been something that i something that i did uh and i just don’t know how it’s gonna make me look so since when does that matter uh so i don’t know i let’s see how this conversation goes there’s there’s i want to tell you about my trip leading up to that too but like i’m sitting here building it up like a teaser but i i have not decided oh you’re gonna tell it but if i if i do tell the story i will say it’s not for you know if any if any children are listening they should uh you know maybe prepare to get educated prepare to get educated okay don’t leave just prepare to get educated yeah yeah i feel comfortable with that level of warning okay you want me to start you want me to give you a little bit of update um okay so i mean you know it’s we’re just driving across town to santa monica it doesn’t feel like that much of a of a trek but before we can check into the hotel we’re like we’re like oh but let’s go to abbot kenny let’s go full-on hipster shopping oh yeah down here good spot pretty cool street and i realized that there was a store i was going into this store and it was um this the same store that i already had the pants on do you ever go in a store and you realize that what you’re wearing is probably going to be on a rack i don’t like that feeling i feel like the people there just kind of like i don’t know something about it just doesn’t feel right it’s happened a few times in walmart for me you know this was the former uh uh sponsor of ear biscuits faraday faraday yeah ferrari everywhere i saw them all over them i’ve gotten into their pants and so not not currently a sponsor but i was wearing the pants and i was in the store and i was like oh christy see these are the pants that i’m wearing and i was kind of self-conscious i think that’s why i went ahead and just pointed it out because i didn’t want anyone else to point it out you’re pointing it out because you think they might think that you’re like walking out with merchandise like you’re stealing it’s just like it’s just like i’m a i may it’s it feels like something an employee should do he’s back he’s desperate he’s already wearing the pants but i’m not happy with the pants because i always like those pants that are a little bit short a little bit wide they’re no they’re they’re they look like jeans but they’re stretchy and softer oh yeah i mean they kind of they kind of sell it as like it feels like sweatpants i wouldn’t quite go that far but they are super comfortable and i didn’t take into account the stretch so they were i was wearing them that day for the first time okay i’m not gonna lie to you but i did lie to them it was my second time okay you were trying to return them and out and then christy was like you’re already complaining about the pants being a little too big because they’re stretchy why don’t you just ask them to return them and i was walking out of the store at this point i was like you know what you’re right screw it and i go up there and i’m like this is kind of an awkward kind of a thing that i’m doing here but you know i’m wearing it i don’t know if you noticed but i’m wearing the pants and then we noticed this we’ve all been talking about it and we thought i was like could i exchange these for a smaller size and they were like in the dressing room yeah set me up in the dressing room they had two sizes smaller when i tried those on i could see the like the bottom line of my underwear and i’m like that’s two two sizes smaller two sizes what’s getting smaller the waist the waist and uh but then the thighs too and everything gets smaller when their waist gets smaller i guess they didn’t have the one size smaller and i was determined you know what i need those but i also tried on some shorts and then i was like you know what you can’t exchange pants for shorts i’m still gonna exchange the pants for other pants that they can order from me and send to my house and i’m just going to walk out of here in these shorts that i’m buying you got to walk out with some pants so now i’m wearing my outfit has changed configurations i went in the store with pants that were a little too big i’m walking out with shorts and they’re short shorts and proportions are off these shorts are like mid thighs short okay you might think i’m wearing swim trunks okay and i’m wearing these my lionel shoes these like super bright white tennis shoes like no socks and then i’m wearing a button-up shirt and my jean jacket and i just started feeling like this is i mean i will i wouldn’t be wearing these shorts out like this this is not quite my con my configuration of confidence so i start getting in my own head about it and christy and i are talking about it and then we make our way back to the hotel and and um somebody said something about my hair and and it was a compliment nice hair then somebody else like within 20 minutes was like nice hair but i’m getting in my own head because i’m like christy people are talking about my hair you know i i just don’t think about myself as being like some guy who looks at sometimes you and i will talk about it but i tend to forget that like oh look at that guy’s hair and now look at this guy’s outfit so i’m i mean i’m thinking about this and chris and i are talking about it and christy’s like trying to characterize what my style is and like we’re getting into it and we’re going up the elevator to the um to the rooftop pool and there’s a bar and we were just going to check it out because we knew that’s where we’re going to be the next day and we’re like looking around and i’m like i’m looking to see if i don’t know if just like do i fit in here what do people think of me it’s l.a man i don’t know i’m on a banana i usually make and it wouldn’t matter i usually don’t get in my own head about this stuff but i’m like we had this in-depth conversation and then i’m like i’m looking around to see if anybody’s dressed like me and i see this guy across the pool lounging in a thing and he’s got on short shorts tennis shoes um like a a shirt and a jean jacket and the one thing he had i didn’t have i noticed was like he had a yellow bandana wrapped around his neck and i’m like i got a bandanna in my pocket i could put that on oh no and i’m like did you i was thinking about it and i turned to christian i’m like well you know what uh that guy over there is dressed just like me and then when i looked at him again i realized it was harry styles and i was like yeah i was like man i actually you know you stumbled into harry style i will be yeah i’m i guess i got harry’s style that dude is a stylish dude i mean i i had a bandanna i’ll gladly be the 43 year old version of harry styles and i started to feel a lot better about myself and yeah that’s kind of kind of strutted around the pool and did my i don’t my mick jagger i don’t want to take any of the air out of your balloon at this point but i will say that i think that showing up to the pool wearing exactly the same thing as harry styles is more embarrassing than wearing the pants into the store where you bought them well i mean i didn’t go up to him if you were lounging and he showed up it’s whoever’s sitting in lounging first win yeah he was there first in fact you should have turned around and left at that point or at least taking the jacket off uh well we did wow good we did leave it right because we were just up there looking around when harry styles has planted himself at a place and you are dressed the same you cannot sit down you have to leave i’m you know what i’m actually surprised i was wondering i thought where the story was going to go is i went up to harry styles i was like hey look at me look at you look at us look at me it could have happened i’ll tell you but as much fun as i was having the next day if he was there it would have happened well here’s a spoiler alert he wasn’t there but you know what mission accomplished i just humble bragged about hanging out at the same place as harry styles and kind of looking like it well here’s the thing man i i didn’t you know we haven’t we specifically have kept these stories from each other good looking guy that here from uh from each other so that we could you know experience them in person and surprise one another yeah but i i i failed to interject there’s two parallels already happening the first thing that happened was Jessie and i stayed at two different hotels one uh kind of in the carmel area then the second half of the week was down in big sur clint eastwood was the mayor of that team he was and i didn’t see him at the pool but when we checked into the hotel the bell boy bell boy was like cool hair cool hair yeah and and and uh and Jessie was like now Jessie was like that was interesting i think that’s a you know she was like you get complimented quite a bit by gay men on your hair uh but that guy seemed like he was straight and complimented you that’s like you’ve just leveled up you just had another straight dude just say he liked your hair the guy who uh complimented my hair was a with a uh a waiter could have been a busboy straight again one of them uh i didn’t ask good um and then the second thing do you have a couple of minutes for a few questions and then the next thing that happened was we were eating at a restaurant in big sur and uh a couple walked in and sat down at the table next to us and i was and and they had on everyone you know this is where we’re at right now in california you walk into the restaurant with your mask on and then of course you take it off when you sit down so it’s a farce it’s a little bit it’s kind of theater at this point but um and soon to end i think but the uh i could tell it’s a farce for the fully vaccinated let me put it to you now yeah i could tell with uh even with this mask on i was like i turned to Jessie and i was like that’s jon hamm john hamm that’s don draper himself and in big sur with the woman that he meets in the final episode of mad men in big sur who they now have been dating for a few years okay red-headed lady the the the final episode the the ultimate episode the act series finale he is that big sir with a with a redheaded woman like the esselon institute which is a real place and you’re telling me that that scene you saw in real life because in real life the the same redhead actress yeah they’re dating after all this time they must have fallen in love at the time but that was a long time ago well now it’s like 2015 when was the last episode of mad men 2015 no clue and then i think they started dating in 2017. so they made a connection oh you google all this uh well of course and then um well no Jessie googled it okay but yeah so it’s like they come back to the place where their love was born it’s beautiful it’s beautiful i was celebrating my 20th anniversary and seeing you know jon hamm’s love for his current girlfriend sorry i can’t remember her name but uh she’s an actress and so anyway but he was not dressed anywhere close to to what i was dressed as in fact Jessie was like interesting jon hamm is dressed like a dad from carrie um oh really uh carrie north carolina pleated shorts well button-up shirt we were in big sur so we had on a fleece i think that was ultimately what every but every every dude was dressed like that like it’s like you’re in big sur you don’t dress up you just got on like some a lot lodge some comfortable pants probably with some stretch and a fleece which i guess is how carrie dads are dressing these days i haven’t been keeping up with carrie dad fashion so anyway i got hair compliments and i saw famous people too so i mean we’re even right now okay okay i mean we could we could we could probably like rank everything and come out with a winner well let me just say that harry styles is cooler than jon hamm currently uh and you’re you were dressed like him so i think you win that okay and you said you got two compliments on your hair i got one so you’re ahead right now yeah but this isn’t a competition uh we are gonna quickly i love not winning a competition we’re going to talk about your shirt we’ve already talked about the podcast but you know there’s ronstat merch and this is good it’s a good looking cool ass designs going on here look at that yeah that’s the phone that ron statt uses to uh that he answers the weird calls the pink phone it’s got a little nickname barbie it’s got a little uh rolling stones homage do you have it right yep i love it it’s very cool so get one listen to the podcast and buy the merch mythical.com you’re missing out if you’re not listening okay uh tell me more big sir where do i excuse me sir where do i want to start here um well okay Jessie had an idea um as i think i’ve established before on this podcast uh neither of us were very happy with our wedding photos um for multiple reasons the key reason was the fact that i mean you were ugly what you look like now you’re right for some reason i made a last-minute decision to completely shave my face and also to give myself a buzz cut it was like i was going on a like a mission to mars you know what i mean but i was just getting married and i kind of forgot their pictures would be involved needless to say i didn’t look too hot and uh this is universally acknowledged by everyone who’s ever seen the pictures and yeah i’ll acknowledge it again you are ugly then and Jessie uh was not happy at all with what the choice that she had made with her hair oh she’s always talked about that but she didn’t like a lot of the photos we just didn’t know exactly what we wanted and i didn’t look right she didn’t like her hair so for years again we kind of built up this 20-year anniversary thing and one of the things that Jessie has talked about she’s like you know 20-year anniversary we’ll be in italy and we’ll hire a photographer and take some pictures on the tuscan countryside an italian photographer yeah we won’t even be able to communicate we’d be using just google translate the whole time or we actually would just be using the language of love and just following his direction anyway we were in big sur so we had to contact a local photographer there oh and first of all i mean this is the most that dream didn’t die one of the most beautiful places i’ve ever seen let me just say that i love the state of california can i just take a moment to do a little psa uh actually i don’t want you to move here because you know there’s too many people here already but i feel like i’m always finding a new part of the state which is giant and uh i’m always finding a new part of the state and just being like this is remarkable i’m like i am totally fine that i’m basically having to give my firstborn up to the government in taxes because it is worth it it is worth it it’s whatever i have to pay to live here it’s worth it it’s like a country in and of itself and yeah so many different landscapes in big sur i mean no it might be the pinnacle no offense to texas but i visited there and everybody’s talking about how they that’s where they want to be it’s like they have different interests than me well i’m with you man hey listen move to austin i want as many people to move to austin as possible i like authors for multiple reasons i like to visit but mostly because i want the traffic to be less here uh move the traffic to austin but anyway um but you got a photographer big sir incredible so we are both and i’m thankful for this 20 years later we’re both happier with the choices that we have made in the way that we now present ourselves right it goes without speaking that what i got going on now in the facial hair and uh hair region is significantly better than clean shaven and buzzed but Jessie was like i know what i want to wear and she’s like i’m going to be in big sur and i want to have a flower crown a flower clown i don’t know if that’s the official name for it but you know one of those things that they wore in that i think that’s just a midsummer night filter uh well you know the funny thing is is when in the last minute when she realized that none of the florists were speaking her language and were in a position to make a flower crown i was like let’s just put a filter on it and give you a flower crown and all the pictures it was kind of joking but not but what she ended up doing is she did a very Jessie thing which is she just like we were sitting in a restaurant and she walked out to she said i’m gonna figure this flower crown thing out and when she came back she had a giant basket of flowers is that somebody had given her a free fashion one i was like you’re going to build this thing she’s like yes and uh i’m going to show you some pictures right well she built the flower crown and you hot you you hired a photographer yeah there’s like photographers that are in the area that it’s i mean it’s very common to like get married have anniversaries and it’s one of the most beautiful places in the entire world okay so people do photo shoots it’s kind of like photographers are hanging around kind of like movers are hanging around home depot yeah i get it and uh like hey can i ride in your car to your house and i can help like move some stuff and this guy was uh the place we were staying he had done this several times before like they were like oh yes we know we know brandon he’s yeah he’s a regular here for taking photos so anyway i’m gonna i’m gonna i’m gonna flip through some of these photos for you yes and uh you’re gonna make fun of me but i i we are both what’s what’s very happy what very what’s the saying uh i i know my assignment i knew my assignment that’s what you’ll say though okay okay so we’ll start with you you get okay you can kind of get it you get a good idea of well the flower crown Jessie made that flower crown well that is good you can scrub you can relax just scroll through you need i’m not a fan of this one and we may not even use this one but like you’re looking down at are you you’re making sure the flower crown does not like i’m sniffing the flower crown making sure it’s fresh and not fake uh let’s flip through the next one you want to see some of these i also just want to show you some of the scenery you’re going to be blown away Jessie was ready it hopefully you warmed up okay there was a lot of what was he saying to you uh he was like no now look at each other now hold hands he was first of all let me just tell you that’s cute if you’re a photographer direct the people you’re taking pictures of and that’s why i so appreciate about brandon is that he was he was he was directing us oh he was yeah he was telling us very we i want very specifically like you guys are small because those trees are huge yeah so this property is incredible there’s redwoods all over the place there’s there’s not been a direct shot of you the whole time which i love yeah it’s like you just try to avoid a little bit yeah just a little bit of your face okay there you are there’s your full face not into this one that’s not bad though and these are just a bit these are just the pretty face these are just the previews that he sent he took probably like two three hundred pictures that we so i haven’t even been through so i don’t i can’t guarantee that the ones that link is currently looking at are the ones that you’re going to be seeing well i can just send them from your phone oh look at that you’re walking in a meadow look at those trees man those are those are redwoods those are like those are tall thousand-year-old redwoods right there behind us i mean you it really puts you in perspective you’re you’re not tall compared to a red one that’s a good one right there it kind of accentuates the height difference you know you got Jessie’s dimple very happy i think she’s great i i can still tell that you know that your your picture is being taken you’re you’re you are totally projecting totally projecting it i know you need to you need to you just get oh okay now we’ve got it see now you’re actually you’re in the moment you’re looking at it hold on you are you have a complete incorrect assessment of that photo that is a good photo two a couple a 20 year old 20 year old couple a 43 year old man and a 40 year old woman totally in love after 20 years of marriage that’s how i interpret that i think that one’s great and then look there’s a picture of barbecue sauce now we’re talking sweet baby rose chicken’s chicken sauce actually chicken sauce i’ve got some people coming over tonight i’m making my hot chicken sandwiches for them and then uh i needed Jessie to get some love i love the lighting on this one that is amazing so look at that i can i can tell you meant that like look at your hand so let me get back to the blood flow is just increased photo shoot um mission to commemorate out and so you know i think what we’re going to do with those is poster size at least 30 to 40 of them and just put them all over our house okay all right have you ever been to someone’s home and they have a bunch of pictures of like themselves and like like their wedding pictures and things like that like we’ve never we’ve never been into that yeah i told Christy i was like you know it’s our house is kind of like an airbnb it’s like we don’t really have pictures of like loved ones up we have the classic pictures of the kids going up the stairs like two black and white photos from like five or six years ago uh i think that might be it i don’t think there’s any for a long time because Jessie’s parents and this is funny ironically given what i just talked about Jessie’s parents got us a giant picture of just Jessie i think that they were very they understood what i looked like at the wedding um oh yeah it was just a bridal picture of Jessie we have one of those too on a giant really expensive frame yes one of those things that like we were like ah and we you know when we were first married we had it up above our bed above our bed too yeah we must have talked about this i mean it and now it’s under our bed like we still have it but it’s ours in the attic it’s under our bed ours is in the attic but i think so we’re not gonna put these pictures up around the house i don’t think um but yeah i i uh i was grateful i was grateful that first because Jessie was like you don’t want to do this to you i was like not really i mean like i i don’t really like getting pictures taken to myself i feel i’ve also feel like i’m constantly doing it with the job that we have and i never really enjoy it uh but i was like i know that this means a lot to you and you know and i do my hair is better than it used to be so yes let’s do it you know i think it’s good to it’s good to memorialize something and also you just get to remember the uh how tall the trees were the this space was so beautiful like the i gotta go the the you know like you said the mountains coming directly to the ocean the only time i drove through there it was so foggy that i couldn’t see anything well here’s the thing june which is when we went the foggiest month of the entire year you know the whole june gloom thing that we get down here as well and they were like you guys are getting blessed with this incredible weather because you can see the ocean and one of the guys uh at the hotel was like i’ve been here during june’s before where for multiple weeks in a row i never could see more than about 20 or 30 feet yeah the entire day it would be completely covered in fog and so there was a couple of mornings where it was like that where all of a sudden it was like whoa i can’t see anything and it feels like it’s raining because of the fog condensing on the dread woods and falling down all over you but yeah we got great weather i’m i’m definitely going to go man we may end up going by like it could become our anniversary place i don’t know but i doubt it you know there’s other places to go yeah there is man it’s california think about all that stuff you just bragged about right yeah there’s always a new place to find but yeah it might be the pinnacle you know i i i will i would have loved to have had a week for chris and i to have uh you know to to get away and and we’ll do that in due time but i will say you know we packed so much fun into just like a couple of nights away that i just i we were talking we were sitting the next day we were sitting by the pool and like you got these like lounge chairs and that’s where that’s where harry was on the on the opposite side but then behind me in a special section no it was a then there was a there’s like a bar over here and then there’s like these big circular couches like semi-circular couches and they called them cabanas and i mean they would have like a uh an umbrella over top of it and then like a little table in the middle so it wasn’t to me a cabana is like a a covered tent like thing that you could and you can lay down and be out of the sun right but this was more of like a couch situation and but since there were only two of us we probably could have had two four six eight people four couples in this thing but we had reserved the thing for like four hours because you know we don’t we don’t like to be obligated to be in the sun the whole time and we want to be over there and we could have table service like it was really nice like we had uh somebody come take our order and like we were eating and drinking man we were having a good time over there and um and so you’re so you’re sitting there and again i’m kind of thinking like i’m i’m getting i’m getting getting good at at going to like these high falutin places and having a good time this is what i’m telling Christy i’m like you know what i know i was in my head yesterday about what i was wearing and do i fit in but like you know what screw it today is my day this cabana is my cabana and the world is my oyster and i’m wearing my like my trucker hat and my sunglasses my hair is coming out and i’m like i got my shirt off and my shoes off and i’m laying down on this couch and the other people i noticed when i would like go to the bathroom or something uh i’m just gonna call them rich okay yep right okay i’m just gonna you know i don’t i don’t i mean to offend anybody i don’t think you can find a rich you got these like every other thing they’re okay every other table was just you know just a covey of rich just sitting there um with their posture yeah and they’re like outfits and their axe up and they’re just talking they’re just talking about you know at first i just i was like i don’t know how i got myself into this but like i knew i was gonna feel nauseous but i didn’t want to throw up because i think it’s part of the process and like you know we made our way all the way out here and come on and she’s like where and so but then after a while i just had to vomit i just had to vomit yeah and i mean i just can’t even get into what was happening around me and so it’s like all these rich talking about i don’t know they’re like they’re peyote excursions and like uh right it was a trip and meanwhile and you know when they’re all like prim and proper and put together and with their drinks and then anybody who walks by the next booth is like like basically picturing my dad sprawled out at myrtle beach like that was me and christy and i was like you know what we are having a good time and christy’s like yeah you are yeah yeah you are you just said this was your cabana she was like i’m also present she was like i don’t think i don’t think you’re supposed to bring your own lacroix to the table and i was like well i wasn’t finished with it and then she’s where’d you get the lacroix from from the room because we had brought our own drinks to the room interesting um definitely cold brews definitely some toppo chicos and some lacroix i gotta have all that stuff and like late at night i gotta i gotta be hydrated true like i drink i have a topa chico by my bed and a lacroix and a cold brew man so yeah i was bringing one to the pool side because i wasn’t finished with it and she’s like you also didn’t have to bring your own music they are playing music here you were playing open-air music like i had one of those like beats pill things because their music was it was quiet and it wasn’t good enough and i and i did walk around i r and i this is that was that’s probably they couldn’t hear my music at the other booth the rich were not hearing my yacht rocks well the more you talk the more i think you might be the rich i mean we might need to flip the script on we had so much fun like the the we were just having the best time the waitress would come up to our table and like christy would just start talking to her i guess she was uh you know she had talked to me enough or maybe i talked at her enough i don’t know i was like you know how when i have a good time i get kind of talkative yeah um i was gonna read a book i was to listen to some music i was going to listen to some podcasts like we just talked like four hours straight except when the waitress comes up and then christy’s like talking about harry and megan and i’m like oh lord don’t take the bait the waitress starts it or no christy starts and she’s like are you into this harry and megan and you know their their new their new baby are you into it i’m like listen don’t don’t get sucked into this and then she starts talking about princess diana and i mean all of this stuff and like we’re having this like detailed conversation with this woman and she’s the waitress the waitress is into it because she’s serving all these rich who don’t even look at you i’m like i’ll take them i’ll take another uh so and so what in and out spritzer right yeah you know oh i’ll have one of those too yeah and let’s go to the bathroom together you know i don’t know i don’t know what they’re doing are there any men uh no not many men around okay all right they were probably all somewhere else i didn’t care i didn’t i didn’t care about seeing other men after seeing harry i was good yeah but yeah i mean i i’m just like i’m gonna have a good time and you know what we’re coming back here and we’re bringing friends and we’re gonna show everybody how this is done you’ll be invited well the funny okay um again the parallels are pretty striking you had a pool uh there was a pool at this hotel um there were actually multiple pools i mean chris and i took pictures of each other well okay so you know we having not decided to go to italy and being not able to go to italy we and this is our 20-year anniversary we’re like we’re going to splurge okay okay so uh this is probably the nicest place we’ve ever stayed i would say easily the nicest place we’ve ever stayed and so at the it each every single room is like its own house essentially not house but i mean like we were in like a cabin we were in like a tree it was literally a tree house a like built in a tree it went rubbed in the trees and it had stairs that went to it so it wasn’t like the tree was coming through the middle and like they had put it on posts or whatever but it was called the tree houses part of this it was elevated amongst trees yeah and it was incredible uh but there were also like some like hobbit house type things that are like built into the side of the slope and have grass growing on top of them it’s just an incredible place super creative approach to the architecture and everything and the way it all blends in the whole idea is that it looks like you’re just kind of just ascending into the redwoods right they thought of everything and at each end of the sort of this line of cabins um is a what they call a meditation pool which what us from harnett county call a big hot tub and a big hot above ground and uh it’s it’s it’s beautiful though it’s like an infinity edge hot tub it’s like 102 degrees and on each side of the resort they’re and this is a small resort so there’s literally only eight chairs at each pool oh this is a small thing oh right so there’s like four sets of two chairs at each each end and then there’s another pool that’s a bigger pool that’s in a different space but these are the ones that are like right on the edge so that’s where most of the people would go and again that was never full i mean it was like there was one time where all eight chairs were full that was the fullest it got it wasn’t like people were coming up and getting turned away but there was a moment where okay when when the pool is that small when it’s just a big hot tub and there’s only eight chairs there there’s a choice that is made which is are we going to converse with the other people sitting here it’s not like a big pool that you you were at where it’s like you’re kind of just everybody sort of hanging with themselves it’s like i’m kind of right next to this other couple and if we’re there’s two couples here do we start talking and if we start talking when do we stop talking yeah does this conversation go on forever well we had had a good conversation with like two other couples and kind of like found out what people did for a living and just kind of connected at one pool but then the next day we’re at this other other side and there was another couple there that was kind of given off that we’re keeping to ourselves vibes and so we were like we’re keeping to ourselves as well i mean that’s what we were going to do so i’m like reading a book a book that i would recommend at the end of this and then um speaking of rich and i and i believe that that term can apply to both men and women oh hell yeah um a couple comes in and um the dude like i mean this is like everyone’s being kind of quite it’s a quiet peaceful place you feel like you’re in the woods and it’s just like this dude walks in he’s like hi guys the way that Jessie described it later is like he came in like i’m here now and he’s like i am present you know and i was like hey you know i just gave a little bit of a hay and so like he sits down with his uh female companion a wife girlfriend partner or whatever and he had a wife a girlfriend and a partner i mean just one woman and there and they sit down and then he’s like oh no i forgot my sunscreen and i’m looking at his wife who is currently applying sunscreen to herself and she says well just use this and he’s like i don’t use that it’s chemicals he didn’t say i don’t i don’t use that it has chemicals he said i don’t use that it’s chemicals which i thought was an interesting choice of words yeah he’s a beat and i was like okay all right when you splurge on a place like this the clientele no i like you you’re just kevin you’re you’re gonna this is great you’re gonna get some interesting characters he might be a friend i’m not going i’m not going well stay tuned because the next thing he does is i guess he had just determined that he didn’t need his sunscreen he walks to the edge of the hot tub at the top of the steps again this is a beautiful i’ve said it already it’s a beautiful spot it’s the most beautiful hot tub i’ve ever seen infinity edge hot tub i mean come on right looks like it goes 1200 feet above sea level you write it you get it the right angle where it stops the ocean begins and then he gets to the edge and before he steps in he places both hands over his heart and just goes and this is everyone can see in here it’s loud this dude is doing like a cleansing breath like right before he gets into the hot tub this is me dude i i i think this is going to be me well no i hope not because i’m not going to the hotel with you if this is you the deep breathing he then steps into the water and i’ll admit the water feels good and they adjust they had obviously just arrived at the hotel like this first thing they’re doing they’re getting in they got in the room they come to the hot tub so they’re experiencing this all for the first time i remember my first time that’s not the first thing i do when i get to a new place and then he steps into the water and all of a sudden he’s just like going ah this guy was having an orgasmic experience in the hot tub the hot water was doing things for him the hot water is never done for me oh yeah oh oh oh and then he begins to speak french it was like something about exposure to the hot water flipped him into french mode and he began speaking french to his wife who begins speaking french back to him there’s a french conversation that happens about i don’t know i took three years of french but i didn’t pick up on any of it but i assume it has to do with how awesome the hot tub was jim i know the words for green beans and he gets out of the hot tub walks back to his wife and begins speaking english again so there’s something about the hot tub that brings the french out in this man um and i gotta say as much as i was judging him in the moment the more i’ve reflected on it i’m like i think this guy’s living his best life that’s what i’m saying yeah that’s what i’m trying to do man well and you know what i had a lot you need to learn how to do it in not such a pretentious way well so we’re sitting here it was a little it was a little imposing i got an i got a story that goes just with this and i think that i judged it one way and now because of your story and what you just said i’m seeing it another way well we were sitting at our booth we’re just hanging out we’re we’re looking out on the pool but like there’s some things that give us we have more privacy except there’s these two chairs that are kind of in front of us in a little table where some people might wait until one of the the big cabanas opens up and um this man sits down there faces away from us and he’s just sitting there right but then all of a sudden his his wife comes over now she could have been french i never heard them speak and she sits in the chair across from him and so she’s looking over his shoulders at us you know definitely jealous of the good time that we’re having right i mean that’s got to be clear um and then she gets up and comes over and i don’t know how else to say it she the the seat that the guy was in was kind of like it reclined back a little bit like you know at maybe a 30 degree angle it was almost an adirondack chair she comes over and mounts them like one knee straddle one knee on one side under his armpit kind of other knee on the other side and her feet on the chair and so she’s like like like as if he was a squatty potty like her feet and heels are on the sides of his hips and then she just like rests on him lowers down and then she like closed so they’re fully clothed yeah but i mean she mounted him right and we know what will happen and he’s kind of on his phone and she’s kind of like kissing his ear and stuff and chris is like well well well and i’m like well i mean she knows we’re here so i’m just gonna watch and i was like and so i just kind of propped up on my left shoulder and i mean she’s as far from i am from that camera like where that i mean what was that six feet set maybe we’re not even seven feet from each other okay and i’m just i’m just like seeing what’s gonna happen right but she sees me and then i feel like okay this now this is part of it she’s she’s mounted him but she’s looking at me and i’m looking at her and i’m seeing who’s going to look away first or basically i felt like i felt like she shouldn’t been mounted him right now in front of me because it distracted me from my good time what was the expression on her face when she looked at you it was kind of like yes i’m mounting him it was blank would you like to be him it was blank it was blank okay so i was like who i think this is a battle i’m not gonna look away until she gets until she dismounts don’t believe it was a battle that’s weird but okay did it work um no and in retrospect you know what i should have done it totally differently you should have mounted christy i should have just kept looking right at her i should have just no i just should have mounted christy or vice versa or i should have just been like that’s awesome it has nothing to do with me why am i acting like this is like cramping my style like because i felt i felt like i’m like you’re doing a lot of thinking all the fun that i’m having all of a sudden goes out the window there’s a lot of thinking going on i need to be doing the pda and not judging other people’s pda or the pdo as well i gotta say freaking i just gotta freaking go with it yeah you know and i gotta like em i gotta get in the pool and deep breathe and just no you gotta breathe before you speak french i had another that’s my one regret is that i i had animosity towards this this woman i know you got your story and then i’ve got something out this is gonna be a longer one guys uh but quickly i want to tell another funny interaction we had shout out to the mythical beasts that we ran into while hiking ah on a beautiful beautiful path uh but after Jessie and i did a hike through the redwoods to like a perch where you could kind of see for miles we go back down to um looking for a bathroom and uh there was like a restaurant and gift shop you know everything’s kind of in that is it open is it not open but most things are open now in california so uh we’re approaching this gift shop restaurant situation and a woman middle-aged woman who’s alone comes up to us and she’s like uh excuse me are there restrooms in there and i was like um well we haven’t been in yet but i i’m assuming that there’s restrooms in there because it’s a restaurant and a gift shop so yeah i think i think there’s probably restrooms in there without saying anything to me she turns away from me and suddenly into the woods she’s like what and then she turns back to me and says thank you she spoke crow either this woman is traveling with a crow i don’t know if it’s a single crow or a pack of crows and i don’t know if that’s the correct murder a murder of crows or this woman is using crow cause to communicate with her companions her family i guess um that beats french i’ll tell you the funny thing is is like you’re in the it’s one thing to use a crow call like when you are like in the middle of the city or you’re in a place where like a crow call is going oh that that’s a mom doing her crow call but you’re in the woods where there are crows doing crow calls and this is a really good crow call it sounded real was she dressed like hippie she was dressed like a mom ready to take on a mountain okay you know what i’m saying there’s there was there was a wide-brimmed hat oh very okay very expensive sunglasses tank top cargo shorts maybe hiking boots what happened next i just went in and used the bathroom i think she waited on the crows to show up i don’t know you didn’t even see what i was like hanging around like all the children like run out of the woods you felt you felt sure it was going to be children well i just thought that she’s communicating with her family that’s odds bird language i mean the things you experience when people spending way too much money i think that’s what you know no but this was just this was at the state park oh oh this goes into the hotel you do you think kids are allowed at the hotel last day that is my 20-year anniversary oh yeah i don’t want to see a child and if i do i’m going to throw them in the ocean it’s a long last thing i want to do is see anyone under 18. i mean there’s nothing there’s nothing like a kid that’ll ruin a good time just keep that in mind if you haven’t had any yet yeah i had a woman mounting a man and that somehow ruined my moment yeah because just because i mean because she was thinking about making children just the thought of that couple of making children turned you off i gotta really work on the pda um don’t start with a mouse all right let’s work your way up to it i you know what we don’t have time i’m not gonna tell the story cole come on you’re telling the story man listen man i’m just gonna be i’mma tell it like it happened okay and i don’t know how it’s gonna make me look but i’m i mean i’m just i’m i’m human and i’m just don’t give anything i’m being honest don’t get any disclaimers just tell yourself and this is what happened speak your french man uh i’ve told a lot of massage stories on your biscuits i consider myself a professional massage receiver like i’m i can be cr i could be the best critic of massages i’m on record saying that could be my next career a a like a massage and spa consultant somebody who comes in and i need to start a patreon for that because i don’t know if you’re going to get paid directly by anyone except your patrons um i know when it’s good i know when it’s great i know when it’s bad i’ve had them all i thought oh but we were going to this place and they had a spa and yeah this place is pricey and i’m like you know what we are go we’re going to splurge let’s get let’s get massages here and then um christy was looking into it and she’s like these are pricey massages this is kind of this is this is going to be the most expensive massages we’ve ever gotten right and then she told she texted me at work one day and she was like uh i got you an appointment but they didn’t have one from me i’m on a waiting list and i’m like why no you take it i don’t you know i she’s like you’re much more into massages than i am um so i want you to do this this is part of your birthday and i’m just i’m not nearly as into massage as you are and i knew this was true so i didn’t argue anymore i was like you know what i will accept this gift and so we spent all day by the pool i kept forgetting that i was having the massage and christy would remind me that like oh you can’t forget we got this you got to be down there for the massage at five i’m like oh yeah massage and so i get down there and i did know that this was going to be unlike any other massage not just because it’s the most expensive but because this was the first time i was ever going to get a four-handed massage oh wow four hands two people could have been four hands four people would one hand tied behind their back i didn’t know and you didn’t care but i assumed it was two and okay so it was and it was it was two women i show up there you know um i’m not weird at a spa i’m good at this like i mean with you can’t do all the other spa stuff because the covid restrict like you can’t go in early and like do the hot tub or like chill out somewhere you’re just go you’re going in there you’re going in the room you’re going to get massage like a like a normal place but like i know how to like make eye contact and say that you know listen to what they’re saying about the massage and not be weird okay definitely not creepy like i’m a pro and this is a this is a this is a thing you sound like you’re giving yourself a little bit of a pep talk just it’s just like you’re saying somebody going to the proctologist like he sees buttholes all day i mean yeah this guy’s not going to think anything’s weird about my boy she’s buttholes all day right no she was like okay so they start orienting me this they said the name of the massage and they only had like six massages and they all had like weird names as if i had been transported to india yeah and and um she was like so we’re gonna we’re gonna start with the treatment called the so-and-so and are you fine with getting having oil in your hair and i’m like oh yeah i’m i’m totally getting i’ve got cool hair because i i’m totally good you guys have told me that i’m totally uh i’m like that sounds great and and then she’s like and uh we’re gonna be putting oil on your body and then for this and then for the second treatment which is called something else that i can’t remember or couldn’t pronounce uh is when we’re gonna go into what i knew would be the the drip experience where they drip hot oil on your forehead and that’s all i knew they said okay so um we’ll we’ll leave the room there’s a there’s a restroom in the room there’s through those doors it’s just your restroom and then you’ve got this room here which is the massage room we’ll step out for you to get undressed you get completely undressed and then lay down face down on the table and take this towel and drape it over your your backside right okay yeah i’ve done all this before i’m absolutely like this is nothing new and you got to get naked you got to get naked for i mean absolutely just for those of you who are who are you know you’re still self-conscious about you got to get completely naked when you and there that’s what they’re expecting you to do when you go get a massage it’s not sexual is you just you you get naked and then they you’re covered in all the right places and that’s part of it right put don’t leave your underwear on no um and you know what they clear they even said that so it was like it all off yeah now there wasn’t a sheet like a lot of places you get under a sheet and then they’ll like manipulate the sheet they just had a towel and i would i would call it a hand towel okay it’s not real big it wasn’t it was just a hand towel and for hands how big a normal hand towel i’m holding up the dimensions for you can tell the people what that length is i don’t know okay or the 16 by 10. okay thank you um so yeah they leave i get dressed i take a leak because i always get anxious that i’m gonna need to pee during a massage and nothing ruins a massage like having a pee bad especially if you have to get up in the middle and go pee and like you then that’s have you done that number of minutes i’ve done it once where like i couldn’t hold it and then i had to get up in the middle of the damn thing i i pee i get naked i lay down face down i put the i mean the towel it felt small i mean i got a little ass but the towel felt small and so i draped it sideways and then i wait and i start doing my deep breathing mm-hmm just to totally get like in a zone speaking french for yourself of relaxation just a week they knock on the door they come in they come in and um yeah i was like wow four hands how is this gonna work and then they start by pouring oil like copious amounts of oil all over my back my legs everything but before they did that two people two people before they did that they took the towel that i had put two women two women and they had put you know i had the the hand towel horizontal across my butt cheeks so the first thing they did when they walked in was they took the towel and rotated it 90 degrees so then it was it was draped between my legs and then up to the small of my back because you need the sides of your glutes exposed they need access yes so they so then my cheeks were exposed yeah including the one that like says christy and a nice crisp cursive tattoo right that made me feel better you know it’s like i’ve definitely got the i’ve got the label i’m taking again i’m not i’m not thinking about it it might be an old relationship i’m just thinking but they’re not they’re not thinking about that of course of course not they’re not thinking about it i actually wasn’t either all i was thinking was are four hands better than two well i would think so and then there are six are better than four they’re on each side and they and i did notice they didn’t ask any of the typical questions like do you have there was no forms to fill out do you have any injuries what type of pressure do you want they’re gonna find that out with their hands they they didn’t ask me to give them any direction because this was a process and then they start like they’re rubbing my feet and it’s like you know two hands on one foot two hands on the other foot i’m like okay i get twice as much foot massage in the same amount of time this is cool um and then they start pouring the oil everywhere they’re like pouring it seems like they’re pouring all out of buckets with holes in the bottom and it’s like trickling all over my whole body and it feels absolutely amazing i doubt it was a bucket but and then there they they start in my back and they held my hand with one hand and then with the other hand they would massage my back so one hand they weren’t using at this point and i’m thinking just holding your hand yeah just comforting just to nut like pushing down on my hand just you remember there’s two of us there’s two of us here and each of us is only using one hand going up your back and around your spine and they did what i would describe as a synchronized hand dance on my back well i would hope so and it and i was thinking you know what i love really deep pressure this is nowhere near that this is a totally different thing this is a this is like a relaxation there’s like a performance yeah this is cirque du soleil this is almost like it’s it’s about the two of them coordinating and doing something and proving to me how in sync they can be it’s almost like i don’t even need to be here right but but i began to say okay i’m disappointed maybe i could be disappointed that i’m not getting any pressure and because but you’d never say that i like the pain of a massage there was no pain it was only it just felt good but it was also the fascination that like they were putting their fingers in between each other’s fingers and going up my back and like and then they would move apart and go up and down my back and it was all completely coordinated so like and i could tell that one of them was the leader and one of them was the follower but they were like almost in sync and so i was kind of into this as like a show right kind of a thing it was like um and then they’re like dumping more oil on me and i i mean i’m like i’m not a slide off this table like i’ve never i could be part of it inundated with so much while you are on the floor and then it’s and you know i’m just laying there with my face in the in the donut and then they start doing this massage that goes from my shoulder in sink all the way down over my butt cheeks and my hips and down to my legs and just back and forth oh yeah this was the first point that a thought crossed my mind that this might be too good this might be there might be there might be an issue here i was like this might be yes link might not be ready for this one this might be the himself the professional massage receiver may have reached his limit and but it’s just a thought it’s just a thought going through my head it’s a tiny thought and i’m like breathe deep so i breathe deep and i’m like i’m used to the pain at this point like if if those type of thoughts cross my mind in a massage they immediately go away because i’m in so much pain which is a form of pleasure to me but it’s like it’s a therapeutic sport treatment type situation yeah being devoid of any pain i’m like this is uncharted territory right um but it is nice and so and then the the the massage up and down my entire body um turned into like fingernails wow back of the scratching all the way down my body in a light fashion and i’m like i feel like we’re approaching the flip yeah why am i telling this that could be this could be a tricky situation why am i telling this um just because it happened you’re telling it now it’s because you’ve committed and we are publishing this again i’m i’m a pro with the flip i know what’s up it’s like they’re like okay we’re going to um we need you to slide down further down the table and then when your head is on the actual table and not in the doughnut part then we want you to roll over face up and do they both get on one side during the they’re on either side and they that’s tricky they picked up the towel whoa and they like held the towel and then um i didn’t really look at them i don’t i don’t look at them well when but i was the only time to look i i saw them out of the corner of my eye and they were looking away you know it was it was looking into the corner they were looking into the corner and they were holding the thing it was they’re professionals they’ve done this before i mean yeah they didn’t like sneak in yeah right before this started and say hey let’s do this two-handed thing so then so so i roll over and they and they they put the thing back down and then they they take the towel and they rotate it again vertical so it’s draped in between my legs and then it’s going that this way okay up to the belly button right and i’m cool they’re they’re they’re starting with the feet and i’m doing some deep breathing and it’s like this is this is a reset you know this is a reset whole new side nothing other side of the burger nothing yeah there was uh i was not i was not saying doing or presenting anything that would cause alarm you know okay i was playing it cool yeah and um then they started you know then they’re pouring the oil everywhere and like i’m it’s like i’m going through all the synchronicities and all this stuff is happening again it’s like this is cool but then they start doing on the top side what they were do what they were doing earlier on the bottom side they did a few up and downs all the way and then um the girl i shouldn’t say the the professional masseuse woman right she wasn’t a girl right she was a female anyway she goes she starts massaging my scalp yeah both hands just like full-on massaging my scalp it feels good amazing and i’m like where where’s the other woman gonna go the other professional masseuse and she goes to my stomach okay this is new and i’m like first of all i never maybe once ever have i had anybody massage my stomach and i think i was like i’d be laughing at this point it was like ticklish it was not ticklish because there was so much oil okay barely and she’s like she’s like rubbing my belly and then rubbing up my chest and i i mean i really felt like i was in some game of thrones scene yeah some like that’s what i was thinking something’s it’s like there’s like a like a medieval like people rubbing on you type situation i mean this is i i i was blindsided i really i mean i got in a preview face down but now here i am and i’m just breathing deep and i’m like you know what i i i’m gonna i’m gonna be cool with this i’m gonna be cool that might be the wrong thing to think at this point i’m just gonna breathe deep and i’m just gonna you know i’m just experiencing this this this the most expensive professional massage i’ve ever had in my life and about the price think about how much you’re spending and i’m like well and i’m like i am thinking things like okay there’s a central component to this but i know that this is a totally legit spot you know yeah this is absolutely professional there’s there’s no chance of any hanky-panky situation happening like i knew that that was not going to happen correct and i took comfort in that we are all professionals here right i’m a professional receiver yeah professional givers and but then they both got on either side of me and they started at the top and they did the rub the rum rubbed down across the hips all the way down to the bottom and then it they started with the fingernails i mean like and okay at this point i i by the way the entire time that i’m i flipped over i have a blindfold on i bet i have i have a napkin or a towel or whatever you want to call it draped over my face i was blindfolded okay the whole for this whole thing right and at that point i definitely i could tell that like something had moved the towel oh my god oh no i mean i just and it wasn’t one of them it wasn’t one of it it was of the six hands that were involved in this professional exchange oh my gosh no hands moved the tower right yeah it was almost like magic i might say and uh it wasn’t it wasn’t like uh like the towel was tossed off the table or anything yeah right or that the towel like it wasn’t a tenting situation no it wasn’t a tinting situation it was a sh it was like a shifting yeah just a slight shift yeah totally normal and at this point i’m just like i was petrified well yeah literally well um yeah i was uh i guess petrified is the best word but i mean i was i would say i was i was half petrified yeah yeah i get it okay yeah yeah i get it i get it yeah this is a natural cycle and i didn’t you know just happened i panicked and i was like i need to flip back over is there another flip but but i just what i what i did in that in that moment what i decided to do was just play it cool and just breathe through it i was breathing that loudly at this point like i was like i hadn’t been doing that and like all of a sudden i’m like oh just like i like that guy entering the spa the french dude right and like i could tell that like their hands stopped and then they they both went to the feet oh they know about that they had some training yeah moved to the feet and i was like okay brilliant we’re still all on the same page here this is just we’re going to all play this cool so you think they they were responding to you definitely it was in a it i would i wouldn’t call it abrupt but for like the professional methodical movements of a masseuse it was an abrupt change in in uh in location from being at the sides of the hip to being down both down at the feet because this has to be a very common occurrence and so let me just tell you what happened at that point so then there was like there was like 10 minutes more of a massage it wasn’t over it wasn’t like up excuse me it wasn’t like a siren all right yeah and they opened the door and they kicked my ass out give him a refund uh it was professional and and gracious redirection of attention and then when that when that was winding to a close um she came up to my ear again i’m still blindfolded and she was like link before we before we go to the next part of the treatment um would you like to use the restroom and i yeah your eyes are getting huge right now under the blindfold my eyes got huge and i was like is this just procedure or is this is this a special accommodation are there some expectations that now i’m supposed to meet my mind is is going like 100 miles an hour and i’m like i could hear myself like trying to form works i was like uh no i’m fine and by the way i don’t understand the question well it was it was an hour and a half the whole thing and yeah potentially anyone at a certain it was a break in the you think this question i think this question is asked to everyone i don’t think i mean because i don’t but i definitely interpret it as do you need to take care of anything yourself what’s going to the restroom going to do well you know just have some privacy to i don’t you know just uh i don’t know blue balls man but i thought i i had i had fully recovered at that point yeah i think i was totally recording i think this is just this that was it it’s just a procedure everybody just procedure but i’m i was reading way into it i don’t even even noticed anything i had a second well that’s an insult then we moved to the so then it turns out they had a good number of stuff to set up while i was like just laying there and like meditating and then they just bring out this again i was i had the thing over my eyes but they they brought this thing and they started dripping oil on my on the center of my forehead and sometimes they would move it to one side or the other and it was at least 30 minutes of just oil yes just oil dripping on my forehead that’s why they asked you to use the bathroom and once you start dripping on somebody and it was very it was very meditative and it was really cool because like whenever your mind would wander you could recenter by focusing on the fact that like oil was being drilled into your head like i guess like water torture but in a good way so that was cool and then when that was over we were you know we were on speaking terms and on speaking sorry it was uh it was fine but like uh i get back to the room and we had like 20 minutes before our dinner reservation so i’m like getting ready very fast i’m like but i could not wait to tell christy what had happened okay well yeah so she already knows this she’s not finding out now there’s no way in hell i’d be telling this story if i hadn’t told her first but like i was just like i don’t know what happened to me i have to tell you about this we have to process this and like we’re sitting in the lobby waiting for our table and like i tell her the whole story and she’s like googling like erection while um getting a massage is totally common and sometimes you just can’t control it and it happens and i will say that i i you know i didn’t i didn’t have a i understand okay you’ve been clear there was not a tensing situation okay yeah this was a this was just uh a slight but she was changing she thought it was hilarious but she was also super sweet and like like reassuring me that like i’m not a i’m not a freak or a creep well i could have told you that you didn’t have to look that up on google man listen i didn’t look it up on google i didn’t want that to be my history is just think about it for a second you’re being it’s not it doesn’t mean anything yeah you’re being touched it doesn’t mean anything and you’re naked yeah i’m totally fine with it i have no shame associated it’s a common thing they see they see this yeah this was like the fourth one of the day the one thing especially with that particular massage right of course um the one thing that we did read was that like you know you can say something that’s like that acknowledges what you’re going through and not apologize but like acknowledge like and it might sound kind of like an apology but you definitely don’t want to say anything that’s like it can be self-deprecating but it can’t be something that could be misconstrued as flirtatious like oh i guess i guess you made him happy you know it’s like that’s obviously that’s what the website say you’d never say i didn’t say anything and i would never say anything like that but that is what what christine and i were that’s what she was reading to me was like you know what you could have just what their advice is just to acknowledge it and then move on and you might say or you might suggest sorry i could go you know i might need some more i might need to flip back over or something you know it’s like you’ve got a lot to think about it’s an embodiment uh exercise to say you know what these things happen and it doesn’t have i mean and there’s a there’s a right way to deal with it and a professional and appropriate way to deal with it that there shouldn’t be shame involved in it and that’s actually why i’m like you know what i’m going to tell this story because it’s it’s hilarious to go through but it’s also it’s just a thing that it’s the thing that is happens to the best of us um well i’ve got one more story that’s a pretty wild shift in uh tone okay okay but why not since we’ve already let’s do it we’ve already tinted or semi-tinted um the uh so one of the things that we decided to do there was a lot of different activities a lot of things you could sign up for and one of the things that Jessie and i decided to do on our final day was a forest meditation right oh yeah and there’s a part of me that was like we’re in big sur let’s just do let’s do the weird stuff right now i mean obviously i i meditate regularly and like a forest meditation is not something that’s like you know 10 years ago it would have been like oh this is real dumb and i’m just going to do it for fun and now it’s like i’m i’m going into it with an expectation of like this could be really cool and you know yeah um four-handed forest massage right now meditation but uh i want to you know i want to talk a little bit about a sort of a realization and sort of something i’m grateful for that kind of came out of this process so forest meditation is kind of probably what you might be imagining it is there was it was just two couples it was us and another couple and then this woman who was leading the meditation and she kind of takes you through the path through the forest and you like pick a leaf and she’s like i’ll take this leaf with this bay leaf off of this thing and kind of crush it in your hands and smell it and she’s like let’s meditate on that and then you kind of walk into this place where there’s the redwood grove and she begins to talk about the nature of the way redwoods grow where there’s like a grandmother tree they call it in the middle and then there’s a conce there’s concentric circles of younger trees yeah just the way they grow and they’re all connected through their roots and they’re connected to other trees through their roots that are all supporting one another that’s how they kind of stand up because the roots grow very horizontally because of the way the bedrock is in places where redwoods grow and so they’re literally holding each other up and they’re also sending nutrients to one another yeah you know cool tree stuff and there was some i mean so she was kind of giving some nature information but then it would also be like all right we’re going to close our eyes and we’re going to like we’re sort of leading a meditation and i’m sure you can relate to this uh but one of the things that is sort of a constant for me at this point in my life is that you know having grown up as you know in the south in a conservative christian place as a conservative christian as an evangelical christian and not being that now there’s always that sort of the old rhett that’s kind of present in my mind that when i’m experiencing something that’s very typical sort of california new age forest meditation yeah the old rhett is kind of like their sort of judging and kind of almost making fun of the new rat that is experiencing this thing that the old rep would have just laughed at and thought was ridiculous right yeah like this is so funny that you’re doing this forest meditation this is kind of dumb i mean it’s just a tree man right yeah that voice gets quieter and quieter all the time but in uh but it’s good and there’s a part of me that’s thankful for for for that voice because i don’t know it kind of represents an evolution and kind of where i come from um but as Jessie and i kind of finished the first meditation we were when we were kind of walking around we started talking and i was like you know it’s interesting that because we’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on 20 years of marriage and the fact that we have been through these these transitions through our life of both getting married under a certain understanding of the way the world works and understanding about what marriage is about and what a man is and what a woman is and how that has evolved over time to where we’re at now and i was thinking about the way that i the old me would process time in nature or nature in general right and of course the background that i come from sort of a biblical literalism [Music] and that’s probably an oversimplification but essentially the idea that evolution wasn’t true right that humans were a special creation and a separate creation from all of the rest of creation we were not related to any of the animals or any of your plants other than the fact that we were both creations of god and in fact humans were created to have dominion over nature and to subdue nature we’re fundamentally different and nature was kind of created for the glory of god but also for the glory of man for man to subdue exercise dominion over and kind of control right and it’s funny because this woman was talking about how there are so few redwoods left compared to their original footprint and that’s due to man subduing the earth literally cutting down billions of these trees yeah like there was a map that showed like the original footprint of the redwoods and now what’s left and it’s just a very very small fraction logging you know is one of the big things you see this thousand-year-old giant tree and you’re like you see you know 50 houses that you could build with that or whatever and that’s what man has been doing for a long time and then of course more recently with continuing to pull all the fossil fuels out of the earth and burn them and climate change is happening and that’s only further bringing about conditions that are going to make the redwoods difficult to to live through so there will probably probably at some point be the last redwood because of the way humans are subduing the earth right sounds like your meditation was an existential crisis well it wasn’t a crisis and i’m gonna get to why i’m thankful and grateful and i was like man i i’m i’m you know i’m grateful i’m very grateful that i believe in evolution i’ll just be to be frank right because of the the not only do am i grateful because i think now that you know now that i understand what it is for many years i was arguing against something that i didn’t fully understand it was a misrepresentation of what the facts were about this and it’s not just cool that i’m like okay i believe something that is more correct understanding of the way the world works that’s cool but it’s actually there’s a deeper and more significant truth to it all in my literal relationship to these trees right we’re from the same stuff and not like we’re literally related not just related because we’re all from god but we’re literally related we come from the same place and of course even more so with the animals right but there was just something about that connection that i was like it’s just cool that there’s this evolution that has happened over the course of millennia but then there’s also this personal evolution that has happened inside inside of me and then i’m thinking and i’m experiencing all this in my 20-year anniversary with Jessie who has also gone through this evolution there’s the different versions of Jessie and the different versions of of me that have kind of gone through all these stages yeah and also it i mean this is this is kind of wild but Jessie and i were talking about because i think that the evolution has been really significant for me but it’s been even more significant for Jessie because of what because of the way she sees herself differently as a woman right because you think about the early the beginning of our marriage where the understanding was you know we read that passage from ephesians at our wedding like many christians do that’s basically about wives submitting to your husbands right and and and there’s this this idea in a certain brand of christianity that that women exist for the glory of men right and that god is the head of the family but the man is the head of the household and the woman’s primary role is to support and help her husband she’s to be quiet in church she’s she’s not to teach she used to listen and when you’re a woman things that men that women can’t do that men can do and there’s things that men don’t want to do that’s kind of what it seems like well but the interesting thing is Jessie is really there’s this is this this sort of turning upside down over world view for for me as a straight white dude who was already pretty well positioned within the church like i don’t there’s not like a sudden empowerment that has happened by by leaving the church i was already pretty empowered right yeah i experienced freedom but i haven’t experienced more empowerment because of that was a pretty sweet gig but the idea that and not to get to like professorial or talk about history or whatever but this idea that when you know what i once thought was an idea that was from god and was from god’s word and that’s why it was important and it was like well women fulfilling this role in men fulfilling this role is a good thing because this is god’s plan this is how he designed it and now seeing it as no actually the reason that this is the way that this is presented in the bible is because of the history of humanity and the way our culture has evolved you know pre-agriculture when you know basically before the concept of ownership right there was a point in human history where ownership and owning land didn’t exist but when agriculture came around the concept of ownership came along with it in order for it to function and women unfortunately got wrapped up in this concept of ownership and they were literally owned and they’ve been trying to break out of that patriarchal view of things for a really long time and there’s still a lot of residual effects and it’s more is still more prevalent in certain parts of the world but to see Jessie kind of come to these realizations that uh in in the context of this conversation of like seeing what that sort of masculine subduing of the earth of ripping the trees up and drilling for the oil and burning the gas and all that stuff to see what it’s done to the earth yeah uh and what it’s done to women right and then to see um i mean Jessie did a good good job talking about this on her her twitter account of course because this is she does a good job of uh putting this into work so she did a better job than me so you should you can go to her you can go to her twitter account and see how she has kind of been processing this but um ultimately what i’m trying to say is that i was very grateful uh for for her sake of her having honestly gotten out of that way of thinking about herself yeah and to just i mean it’s it’s been it’s been a long process but it’s great to love somebody and then see them become more of themselves to have that to have that freedom and to to have that empowerment and it’s like i’m i’m you know it’s like i’m sure she’s i’m sure she loves you for being so supportive and and and welcoming that because you certainly don’t have to that doesn’t have to be your response i mean it’s just the story of both of our marriages and relationships is that like we’ve changed so much and um we’ve asked so much of our wives at every turn yeah even even not within the worldview stuff but within the career stuff and all that like so it’s it’s nice better late than never it’s it’s kind of how i feel about it a lot of times whenever like chris and i engage in this is well because sometimes you can start thinking about well what do we miss right right and i and i yeah i want to be clear but you have this beautiful moment where she’s able to uh to be empowered yeah and i want to be clear that like i don’t i know that if when i talk about this stuff if you’re you know you still consider yourself a christian or that you you subscribe to like a biblical worldview you’re like oh he just thinks he’s better than us and now and it’s like no not that’s not that’s not what i think you know it’s like that’s where i come from that’s what i believed with all my heart at one point i didn’t believe it because i was a bad person i didn’t believe it because i was a bigot i didn’t believe it because i was stupid uh i believed it because it was what i was taught um but in the same way that i i think that there is a there is this valuing of sort of stasis and consistency you know you’ve got and and from a christian worldview one of the attributes of god is this immutability of god god does not change at all and that’s something that we really value in god and so the translation or the implication is that that should be true of people you know and change change is not great you want us you want you want to establish your principles and you want to stick to them and you don’t want to stay the same but we live in the context of this evolution that has happened over the the entire universe the universe doesn’t make sense without the process of evolution i’m not just talking about evolution that’s taking place on this earth i’m talking about the principle of evolution of of the universe unfolding and changing over the course of time it is a fundamental principle of the way the world works and when you can kind of get in tune with that when you can kind of appreciate it step in line with it and be like that process of things unfolding and things changing is something that’s happening in individuals as well and it’s something that’s awesome it’s it’s awesome to witness in somebody that that you love and it’s awesome to experience personally so it’s not that i’m trying to judge people who are in a different place i’m just saying i’m grateful that there’s been not there’s been an evolution in our lives in that Jessie and i have been able to be walking side by side through it of course next week may erase all of this if because they felt that she filled out her survey before your meditation so you might right you might want to give her a call before we yeah that’s next week we go through the answers that they gave to the survey that they were given yeah it’s great to be married for 20 21 years and to like to to have such meaningful experiences that are just focused on our you know me and Christy are you and Jessie and then you have those things that you take away and like how you spend that time together and you have this you’re deeply impacted by it it’s just that says so much about your relationship and for Christy and it’s like we were just talking about like we had as much fun like that day by the pool as we’ve ever had in our marriage like we were you know it’s it and our whole time there you know it was just like i’m so grateful that we that we enjoy each other as much as we ever have and just kind of had that feeling of like it’s only good flashbacks to newly being newlyweds in terms of the excitement of being together and then like but then the payoff of of uh knowing each other yeah so deeply that’s what Jessie Jessie and i said that our 20-year trip the week of our 20-year trip was significantly better than our honeymoon oh god so much better yeah it was such a such a reward yeah i mean you know that’s it’s the payoff for all all the work that they put in sticking with us okay before we wrap up i do have a relevant uh uh recommendation it’s a book that i read uh while i was on vacation um how to not get a boner oh i’m sorry that’s it’s called the overstory by richard powers and i will say that i was going to recommend this before i heard barack obama recommend it on ezra klein’s podcast okay so i’m not trying to just be like obama here you talk about dick powers dick powers dick power uh richard powers wrote this uh it won the pulitzer prize it’s the new york times bestseller but it’s essentially speaking of trees it was just i just happened to pick this up at a bookstore in big sur but it is essentially a collection of stories that center around trees and peoples in individual or family sort of interactions with trees like there’s a tree that is a and usually a different species of tree that is a central element of this like short story in a collection that’s kind of huh and it sounds weird and it’s so innovative and it is a little bit weird and innovative is it new uh it’s relatively new i don’t know okay when this thing was written not too long ago uh 2018. uh i highly recommend it the overstory um by richard powers all right we’ll speak at you next week you rich to watch more ear biscuits click on the playlist on the right to watch the previous episode of your biscuits click on the playlist to the left and don’t forget to click on the circular icon to subscribe if you prefer to listen to this podcast it’s available on all your favorite podcast platforms thanks for being your mythical best [Music]