[Music] welcome to ear biscuits the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time i’m Link and i’m Rhett this week at the round table of dim lighting we are once and for all definitively settling your arguments your disputes that you’re having with your loved ones your friends your family your you know people in your life things that you need help things that you need these two dads decided to settle for you dads well i mean we i’m so many things to so many people right what is the thing you think gives you the most like legitimacy in giving advice being a father i’m being a business owner being a lifelong friend being a decent driving a wannabe hairstylist as long as i’m not in a deep conversation yeah i think i’m a decent driver well but typically when i’m driving with you we are in a deep conversation so my experience is that okay i’m not qualified you almost killed one of our fans but i do and you had to find out later through instagram well they shouldn’t have been crossing the street in front of me um i i like these episodes because uh it’s you know it just brings up things about us that we can just project onto other people i thought you were going to say that you like giving advice i like giving it back i know that about it makes me feel makes me feel helpful i think you think i like it for another reason but i just want to be helpful what i wait don’t project anything on me every time you say that i like giving advice it’s as if you’re judging me like it be honest like you do not think it’s a good thing that i love i like giving people advice i’m sorry that i like to help people no no i’m just i’m saying that i can sense when someone is about to fall into it like when there’s someone who’s in the room with us or somebody that we just met and i’m like oh no no no you’re about to oh what you just said now you’ve done it you’ve pulled the advice trigger and you’re about to get it from link i mean it’s like i’m not saying you don’t you give bad advice i’m just saying it’s just an observation i’ve made it’s a funny thing like there’s lots of funny things about people that make them eccentric one of the things about you is that you really like to give advice i i i just i can’t help it if i care about people okay i’m not saying i don’t like giving advice now i don’t think highly of myself and i do try to couch my advice hey it’s just food for thought you need it you you’re not asking for advice you say yeah yeah you’re not asking for it what are you one of your catchphrases you didn’t ask me this you didn’t ask for this you’re not actually asking for advice but i am ready for it to give it to you yeah yeah yeah and i think that does it if i thought it was a bad idea i wouldn’t think that this was a good idea for an episode usually i say i mean you’re not you’re not asking for advice here but and then they’ll cut me off and say oh no no i want to i want to hear your input and if they don’t say that then i’m like i’m gonna i’m gonna hold back a little bit so i i have adjusted in that way you put it on them to tell you to stop i mean i wouldn’t stop if somebody that i don’t know well i can tell starts to give advice to me nobody tell them unless they break in and say oh no i i want to hear unless they say that i’m not going to go full force i’m not going to give them like the whole the blunt but you’re going to go full force today because these people have asked for us to go full force exactly but i have i need one for everybody i need to go full force in something else yes you do because this is something i’ve been dying to tell you about i know the party the premiere night before last so we get invited and you know for years we went to these occasions and of course something called a pandemic happened so we haven’t been to one of these but we get invited to these premieres for whether it’s a movie or a tv show we don’t go to many of them but there was one that was falling on me and Jessie’s date night and i was like oh this will be fun like get back out in the world and go to a premiere sit in a room with people and watch a show and go to a party and the personal connection this was the we were invited too but Christy and i couldn’t go yeah so the the show uh is upload on amazon prime our connection to the show is that it’s made by greg daniels who you may know as the creator of the office one of the best comedies of all time the american office yep yes so yeah exactly which is definitively if you’re you didn’t ask for advice but i’ll give you definitively better there’s that one better than the british version um i love ricky gervais why am i even getting into that but uh so greg daniels and he is the husband of suzanne daniels who was for like six or seven years the head of original programming at youtube youtube originals so we got to know her through the development of buddy system and also uh the expanded format of good mythical morning she’s she’s just a great person i love suzanne daniels she’s very sweet she’s always been an advocate of us very smart she was at the uh the streamies when we won show of the year and she stood up at her table and gave us a standing ovation at her table i mean she really believed in us that was very kind so i was hoping i would get to see that night that we met uh greg yeah and their son who you said is a star yeah so owen who plays the uh like bell boy essentially in this the premise of the show is that when you die you uh your consciousness is uploaded to an afterlife where you like live at this hotel and uh he plays the bell boy who’s essentially ai and he’s he’s him but also many versions of him now we remember we met owen uh when he interviewed us for some youtube show he was doing he was like 16 years old at the time that was at a stream he’s way way back in the day yeah and yeah and now he and he was actually involved in the creative process on the show uh with greg and then yeah he’s he’s one of the stars so he was there i got to talk to him nepotism but but what happened he’s very talented but what happened so uh just a joke one of the things uh that you do when you go to these premieres is you walk the red carpet now typically what would happen if uh link and i went with Jessie and Christy um you and i would want the red carpet yeah they’ve never you know they’re not like itching to walk the red carpet with us but it was like i’m going just with me and Jessie and i was like hey you can you know if you want to walk the red carpet with me i you know whatever you want to do i’ll go by myself you can walk with me she says i’ll walk with you yeah let’s do it so you know when you arrive at these things you get you sort of meet your contact person who takes you to the line and then you stand there in the line and you get ready to walk through and then that person tells the people who you are who invites you writes your name on so that you don’t have to tell people who you are because that is really demoralizing yeah and so why am i taking your picture who yes another good mystical what so the uh i thought that he might be there because of his tie to to uh to greg daniels but i really wasn’t expecting it but i’m in the sort of the line getting ready to go on the red carpet and none other than conan o’brien and his wife uh walk up and of course they kind of had me in the line getting ready to get onto the red carpet when conan o’brien shows up somebody comes up to him and says you come to the front of the line but as he was passing me you know i did something that wasn’t typical of me you tripped him why but but because you aren’t there because you would have done this if you were there i was like well link’s not here so i guess i have to do this uh he walked by i was like conan rhett shook his hand he was like oh good to see you now this could just be the pat answer that he gives to anyone who says obviously is trying to say something like you know me i was on your show 11 years ago maybe you’ve kept up with us maybe you have and i haven’t spoken with you in years good for you to give the emphatic conan rhett yeah so i should shake exp and then he’s going to just move on yeah yeah and then he’s moved on yeah the good news is is a as he moved up to the red carpet then my pr person came up and was like oh you come now we’re ready for you and so i got to go right after conan so it kind of looked like maybe i was important for a moment okay you know maybe andy richter grew his hair out and got tall and uh so we go through like you know you you you do the thing you walk and you because Jessie was like well what because she hadn’t done this i i did or he doesn’t remember when she was like what do i do i was like they’re just gonna like this there’s gonna be a bunch of cameras and the person’s gonna be like Rhett Jessie and you’re gonna look at that person with that camera and you’re gonna smile and then the next person says hey over here and you’re gonna just do that right it’s called a step and repeat for a reason yeah and so we did that it went great i think the pictures turned out great you can probably find them on the internet somewhere uh Jessie helped me pick that sweater it sort of matches her dress we were pretty proud of ourselves um she made me change let me just be completely honest i put on a a a shirt and she said there’s not i have do not have that color in my dress oh and then i looked into the drawer and i was like well this sweater almost looks just like your dress and she was like i think this may be too much i was like well i’m only changing once and so i wore it and it ended up being great because multiple people came up and said i love this ensemble ensemble so we go through you guys should make curtains we go through that then uh i see that conan and his wife are talking to suzanne i’m like perfect opportunity to go back up and re-engage so i go up there and i say hey suzanne i give her a big hug i’m like you remember my wife and then i shake because we love conan and so your desire is to have a little exchange because hey we were on a show i mean we got a lot of respect for the guy and so to like have a have an end to be able to have a conversation and to feel like acquaintances after all we haven’t spoken directly with him in a while but some of our folks on the mythical team have talked to some of his folks at his production company for years like you know just they know each other as well so i don’t know how much he’s involved in that but i was like well let’s just see i mean suzanne going up and giving a big hug to suzanne and her obviously knowing you this well maybe that’ll even be even you know maybe he’ll it’ll start to click if he doesn’t remember who i am who knows i shake his wife’s hand and then i say to conan i said i say i’m not going to shake your hand again because i’ve already done it and then he said well and he holds his hand he says i’m going to shake your hand again because it means that much to me so we shake as a so the power dynamics you shake hands again you lost good um then suzanne and really starts engaging with me and Jessie he’s a little taller than you he’s like no no he’s not do you think he’s talk six seven i’m not proud of being sick i guess i was saying he’s older than [ _ ] he’s not i mean that’s i’m freaking in my mind he’s taller than you like you’re not tall not you’re not that tall very tall he might be six five i don’t know he’s very tall yeah so um the conversation shifts to suzanne kind of catching up with her a little bit uh conan and his wife sort of peel off a little bit yup so i was like that’s cool i’m catching up with suzanne so then we grab a little glass of champagne that they had and a popcorn and go you know they always got their little lean things and you go and we sit we have assigned seats and we go and we sit down small little screening room at this hotel in in west hollywood i don’t know there’s probably 75 people there theater seating no theater seating and i sit down and at this point and only this point do i realize that my fly is open huh [Laughter] and and i don’t mean red carpet i don’t let me look back at those red carpet photos i don’t mean like a third of the way down oh yeah i mean like the zipper was never engaged oh it was a new pair of pants that i’ve never put on and it had a weird three buttons at the top oh yeah once you get you’re exhausted by the time you do that i was all the buttons are done and it was just like i had done too many things to that portion of my uh wardrobe and and forgot that there was something else to be done which is called zipping up the zipper now were you wearing underwear no i was free balling oh yeah and now we’re gonna do it so i was wearing underwear yes but at that point like i’m thinking oh man the first thing i thought was i’m gonna talk about this on air biscuits like they did that’s that’s the life that i live yeah that’s the re that’s the red that was literally the first thing the second thing was life’s low points become entertainment what if this is capture like was this captured in all those photos that i just took like literally like 20 photographers took pictures photographers did you get that blood leaving your head and going to your like feet or was it the opposite like you’re all the blow went to your face i didn’t get it’s interesting i didn’t get a sinking feeling because i was like man if there’s pictures a bunch of pictures of me on the red carpet with the unzipped fly like i’m in the profession where this is something to be embraced it’s like it’ll be a great story i i wasn’t freaking out yeah i was just like so i internet comedians are people too at that point i when i realized it i zipped it up but then i was like well hold on i got to figure out if this could be seen because maybe these pants didn’t show that the fly was unzipped some pants kind of bunch out and some don’t you know you pants your pants and they’re different yeah yep so i stand up and now people are filing into this premiere it’s about half full i stand up and i unzip my pants just kind of like privately like unzip my pants and then look at look at them and then zip them back up and i’m like i don’t i don’t know if you can see this and then it hits me you’re six foot seven you’re st you’re in a theater you stand up you unzip your pants i’m pretty sure people are well i’m not done because at that point i’m like this is something i should talk to conan about he’s like and i didn’t i wasn’t letting i think it has something to do with not being in public a lot you know over the pandemic i think my dynamic has changed okay yeah i didn’t it didn’t cross my mind that this might not be a good idea to go up to conan and his wife yeah you weren’t there and so i did all the dumb stuff uh so no it’s not always college time so well just wait so they’re sitting down and suzanne is now talking to them again while they’re sitting down they’re kind of like four or five rows back i get up i leave my seat i walk over i walk down the road they’re talking and i kind of just go out there and i’m like something just happened to me that i think you would appreciate and conan said whoa conan said well i’ll be the judge of that i mean he’s always got something he’s always ready with a quip right and then i said oh you you left your seat yeah that’s what i said you walked out of the aisle you walked back up and went down another aisle there was nobody sitting on the aisle yeah it wasn’t like i was like excuse me excuse me excuse me i need to get a conan it wasn’t that okay he wasn’t like that he was accessible but you still had like you already seated you had to get up this is a big moment for you like i can’t believe you did this yeah i’m telling you i’m just i changed you stood up you you you went back and basically like took over a conversation you were like like i’m gonna like a presentation here i’ve got something that i want to tell you exactly so uh i walk up to to them and i say i’ve got something that just happened to me that i think you’ll appreciate conan says we’ll be the judge of that and i said i just realized that i did the entire red carpet with my fly down and i didn’t get the response i was after um all of them just kind of looked at me like no they didn’t you thought there was a it wasn’t immediate laughter and and then they were like well and then i said and this is where this is where it really gets awkward i said keep going i don’t know if it was a problem or not and at that moment standing up i’m standing up in front of conan and his wife who are sitting down i unzip my pants in front of them i’m in the middle of the theater i am i was proud of you i am uncomfortable i unzipped my pants and i said and i go and i hold my arms up like this and his wife says you can’t tell oh good like she just gives me like just gives it to me straight good you can’t tell and i’m like okay and then i zip my pants back up and i just walk back to my seat that was it that’s the interaction you can’t tell uh suzanne didn’t say anything conan didn’t say anything i think she just kind of like she sort of smiled in agreement i think they all just agreed you can’t tell since that seems to be what you were asking Jessie did not come with you no she didn’t thankfully and i have no idea what the conversation was after i went and sat back down because you weren’t there anymore right uh i i immediately regretted it when i went back to Jessie and i said i just went up to conan and his wife who were seated and i was standing right next to him and i just unzipped my pants in front of them you could be arrested for that everyone else behind them i mean yeah this is not i’m not proud i’m not proud of this public exposure if something were to be exposed it would have been exposure i just now remembered he did say something i i i i mean i i i mean it’s a little traumatic this is what conan said i his wife said you can’t tell and then conan said it would be a real problem if you stuck your finger out there like that that’s that’s what that’s what he said he says as long as you don’t you didn’t get in there and stick your finger out you’re okay and so did you think about doing that to test it nope i didn’t because there’s three buttons i couldn’t get my hand in my pants if i wanted to so then i went and sat back down i’m sorry i missed that detail conan i know you’re listening and oh my gosh so Jessie didn’t know where you were going i i thought for sure you would have told her i did but i did it i said it and did it all in one motion so i’m going to tell them i’m going to ask them something that i could just ask you and i think that if they thought about it they would think about that yeah but it’s obvious that i really want to talk to conan again so instead of asking you my wife who i trust and i’m comfortable with i’m going to get up and i’m going to do something that puts me really out on a limb here yeah in hopes that like i will have a story on the ear biscuits and maybe conan’s wife will remember me forever because she might see my wiener well let’s see i mean i knew that wasn’t gonna happen i had on very very well fitting underwear there was no there was there was no risk of exposure there was no risk of exposure and the fact is i had already tested it at my seat and i knew that nothing nothing peeked out like i don’t think something about the pleating of these pants made it where when you unzip them they completely the flap remain completely closed so i did have that point of information i wouldn’t have gone back there and unzipped my pants in front of conan and his wife if i had known that something could pop out i knew that this was kind of a bit but i was just i was living in the moment it was it was improvisational i feel like you know i applaud you for that portion of the presentation uh just putting yourself out there without literally putting it out there uh and yeah it seems like the type of thing i would have done if i were drunk i wasn’t drunk i had a half a glass of champagne okay well then as we’ve established i’m six seven so that’s not a problem you don’t i had a little popcorn maybe it was laced with something i think uh you know i think you would i i think you would have i don’t know there’s no way there’s no explanation for this except like you desperately wanted to make an impression on conan he was like really try hard well i think that that’s the thing i’ve been there i think well yeah you live i know the feeling but i think that that’s hey don’t listen that’s the thing don’t listen don’t drag me down why what you’re dragging me down listen this is your story i’m giving you the feedback but i i do not live in that world and i’m not going to accept that okay right but i have experienced it okay and i know the feeling but you now know that feeling too that was the thing that i was worried about is that obviously i mean first of all when you’re conan o’brien people come up and talk to you because you’re conan o’brien and he has lived a life knowing that that’s the case um and so it’s no mystery that i’m going up to tell him because this funny thing happened to me and i’ve already talked to him twice that night and i know suzanne so it’s like something funny happens to you go to the other people that you know at this place yeah i’m going up there because he’s conan o’brien i think i would have thought i would have i’d like to think that i would have thought you know what at the after party hopefully conan is there i’d love to connect with him some more i knew he wasn’t going and this would oh you already knew that i just know he’s not the kind of guy that’s going to go the other part and he didn’t hmm okay so you’re right about that you had your one shot and i was like and and also but i would have used that as the excuse to say yeah i’m not going to go this far so again i applaud you for it i i can’t believe you did it yeah i’m going to start doing more stuff like this because it what worked out because it i mean i honestly think a big part of it is the fact that i get to talk about it on the podcast so it gives me a reason to to do it but also i honestly think and this may apply to other people out there and i said it when i went up there but i i’m forgetting pieces of the conversation but when i when i s when i said i did this and i was like i don’t know i just haven’t been in public for a long time like this is the first this is the first that’s what i told them i mean in another i think that that’s true i do believe that like if you were like if it was me and i was seated a few rows back you would have done that to me so looking at it from another angle you’re not you aren’t treating them any differently than you would treated somebody that you know and that’s kind of my approach just like i don’t care how famous you are uh i want to talk to you because yes i do but i’m also going to psych myself out it’s just like i’m going to treat you just like i would if you were my you know if you were my cousin or if you and my my boy or if you were my my friend yeah i mean and so yeah i think in that sense it’s like hey we’re honestly just mixing it up i think this is the key and you tell me if this is true i just did things without thinking about them is that how you live not great because that’s that’s how i found myself in this situation i did not allow myself to think a second time about the choice just do it i just i told Jessie i’m going to talk to god and got him and just went up there yeah it just happened and okay so to put a button fly three of them on this thing can you see your fly open on the red carpet photos no no like if you’re gonna and this is one of the reasons that i didn’t ever suspect that it was open because most of the time you can kind of feel like you know what i’m saying like i’m not talking like you feel a breeze right i’m just saying that if things are not secure down there with a zipper a lot of times you know it this this these pants apparently don’t even need a zipper like there it’s completely the the sides of the zipper the teeth of the zipper are laying on top of each other if they’re not intertwined so i picked the right pants to be able to have this story have this experience without actually getting into an embarrassing situation so this could be your thing you can look at all the pictures on the red carpet the fly is completely intact you could wear these pants every time keep them unzipped now they’re navy’s knowing no one will see anything but you can still go up to everyone that’s more famous than you and and have that fly down conversation you know it’s a level of vulnerability that says you know what i’m human and i’m here for you if you need to have uh humorous interaction and i was going to go talk to i talked to greg daniels for a while talking i was done with that okay but i was gonna go talk to the head of comedy at amazon because he was there and i thought oh this is an opportunity let’s connect with this guy yeah and uh and then i was gonna tell him the zipper story but i got caught up in some other conversations in the after party and by the time i got around to going around uh he was gone so missed opportunity i think you did the best thing you could have done everything else is gravy all right now that now that we’ve fully demonstrated that you are qualified to give advice right let’s do it um but first we’re going to talk a little bit about stevie’s podcast best friend’s back all right obviously you listen to podcasts or at least one particular podcast do you have room in your life for a second check out stevie’s podcast well you got our podcast where you got two best friends who uh never lost touch nope and then you’ve got stevie’s podcast where his two best friends who did lose touch and are now getting reacquainted via podcast i’m very interested in what happens i mean that’s awesome yeah and you know i know that i know stevie’s a different person than she was in high school so to ha to be able to tell that to negin and also to learn about negin i think you know it’s an there’s a social experiment aspect to this that uh is potentially very fascinating and they’re just both delightful people therefore you know stevie’s delightful uh you know her but and they’re different the game is she’s delightful as well we met her once when she came in to do like her promotional photos and like she was delightful shoot a couple of sketches to promote the launch of the podcast so check it out best friend’s back all right wherever you get your podcast janet tweeted at us uh in response to our prompt of hey we’re here to settle your ongoing arguments i’m very serious when i say that this is one of the few things my boyfriend and i legitimately argue about if a chicken is alive is it raw i say yes a live chicken is raw because it’s uncooked he says it’s alive not raw friends are 50 50 split we need a definitive conclusion janet this is a how does one arrive at this argument that the most that’s the most interesting part to me is how do you get to this point this is a conversation i’ve never had hey look at that raw chicken over there at the petting zoo like no that chick is not raw that chicken’s alive you have to be dead to be raw how could their friends be 50 50 split on this well i don’t know just speaking for on janet’s behalf don’t you do it i think that technically an alive chicken is a raw chicken but that is not a logical way to describe a live chicken first if a chicken is alive we say it’s alive we don’t say it’s raw but if you ask me the question is it also raw i’ll be like well i guess i’m trying to think of an analogy where this this is a this is a category this is a misuse of categories well no it’s just a misunderstanding of the definition of the word raw which implies if not specifically states i can look it up if i have to that a state of deadness like raw is in the context of being able to eat it um i think if you were to look at the definition of raw it would say uncooked meat are we going to do this hold on like your shoulder this your deltoid muscle right now it is raw no it’s not yes it is that is it cooked cook raw and cooked are opposites you know what it has a one word definition uncooked yeah that’s what i’m saying so when an egg comes out of a chicken or red and pink okay perfect example when an egg this is the distinction that you’re making is the fact that it’s attached to a living being but a cooked egg and a raw egg if an egg comes out of a chicken it was raw when it was inside the chicken and it’s raw when it lands in the nest the definition actually i was wrong it says parentheses of food and then it says uncooked so raw is a term that applies to food chickens are food no chickens are animals dead chickens are food i mean if you eat a live chicken you’re like some sort of weird i’m not saying yes i’m not saying it’s moral but there are i mean there are people eat things like raw octopus live oxy here i am live octopus i don’t support this i’m not an advocate of eating live things the exception doesn’t make the rule here’s the thing we ate like the the raw tail can’t wag the dog here you ate alive you ate a raw beetle i’m not proud of that but you it was a live beetle what i i’m saying we agree and we disagree i’m saying that the technical term raw means uncooked so yes a live chicken is raw but that is like only something that like a computer that didn’t understand humanity would say it’s an unnecessary distinction that’s secondary to the primary distinction of it being alive and you know what in that case it’s misleading because most people would associate rawness with it with meat which was is detached and dead so i agree with that but i’m just saying that technically you’re raw right now and so am i is any of you cooked right now i don’t want to say no because i don’t want to seem like i’m agreeing with it so your whole body is raw right now it’s uncooked yes but it’s not raw no you’re raw and live chickens are raw now there’s a venn diagram like if you look up uncooked it’s not just gonna say raw like what’s the definition of uncooked define oh the definition is wrong raw and cooked are are opposites you could cook somebody alive i i feel you in the medieval times they cook people you know what i’m saying it’s a punishment again do i believe in it no but i’m not making a moral distinction i’m saying that there were that you can have something alive and cooked i can cook your arm oh i could cook your arm you see you see where janet’s got us man you cooking my arm you could put your arm in an oven this is really i could cook it and and i could eat it see what you’re embodying but if you’re like you’re in the body right is that dude’s arm raw or cooked to be like well i just cooked it that’s what this is about before i cooked it do you want to be the type of person like janet who rhett is channeling right now this is not a helpful thing janet my advice not that you were asking for it uh you were asking about your argument my advice to you janet is that you dropped this this is not something it’s only fun for you yeah yeah this isn’t this isn’t a hill to die on you’re not wrong but you’re also not right you’re arguing just just just to entertain yourself gotta admit it’s pretty fun though it’s gonna it’s gonna drive your boyfriend away hannah littlejohn tweeted at us my partner and i have had the same argument throughout our decade-long relationship is she a psychopath because she comes in from work and will not change into pjs until it’s time for bed i walk in the door and immediately start the process of getting into comfy pjs so hannah is saying that her partner is a psychopath because she doesn’t wear pjs around the house when she gets home from work only when she’s getting in the bed i do not own pajamas uh i think for the sake of this conversation it it includes coming home from work and putting on anything that is demonstrably more comfortable like sweat pants a t-shirt like slippers uh yeah well i’m not saying slippers because i don’t want to bring into the whole show you wear shoes in your own house thing i don’t want to go there that’s not what this is about what this is about is changing out of how you’re presenting yourself to the work world in this case or the outside world and then when you come home you want to get into more comfortable attire that could that is so comfortable you could in fact sleep in it that’s how i’m defining this argument i’m expanding the scope a little bit because i think that’s much more relatable to people if you because yeah a lot of guys don’t own pjs and i think i want to include us in this experience but are the pajamas raw shut up um okay dude so yeah what there’s plenty of times when it’s like i’ll come home and i will i’ll take off my jeans i mean we don’t dress we don’t wear ties we don’t wear suits i don’t wear a pantsuit i don’t wear heels to work you know right and i acknowledge that like if you’re if the more buttoned up you are because even though i’m not when i come home i still have a desire to get more comfortable especially after pandemic link has been you know just just walking around the house for a couple of years right so i definitely have this experience of i come home and i’m like hot and sw hot if i’m hot i might put on shorts or usually i’ll put on sweatpants and i’ll in uh what you get home and put shorts on if it like when it’s the times when it’s really hot you know sometimes the asphalt melts here in burbank because it’s like 110 degrees so i’m saying in an extreme case i want to get comfortable in that way but yeah my default is oh i’m gonna sit down and watch television i’m gonna put i’m gonna put on my pajama pants which i don’t sleep in they’re basically like sweatpants hold on dude this is you’re all over the place what do you what’s your what’s your argument because i represent one end of the spectrum and that end of the spectrum is never in my entire adult life i’m not counting as a kid because my yeah yeah yeah just talk about people made the decisions have i ever changed clothes after getting home for any reason other than i have to then go to another event or i’m going to go on like a walk you you’ve never put on sweatpants you’ve never gotten a more comfortable attire like taking off your box of briefs and putting on some boxers and some sweatpants or some pajama pants never like loungewear i don’t do that well you’re missing out yeah but i i have two reasons number one just my disposition is not like i’m not a comfort seeker right so it’s i like you know i i don’t have i don’t have a blanket i don’t my couch isn’t that comfortable you’re a masochist it looks cool and it’s much more about it looking cool than and Jessie’s the same way like we’re not we’re not seeking comfort a lot but and i’m not that’s just my personality second thing is um that i and i think this is scientific i think that you actually need to signal to your body that it’s time to go to sleep and at that point i just take my clothes off and and and have underwear on and my and then my body is like this is how we sleep and now we’re psychologically like setting a cue to then move into the sleep cycle as a side note do you change your underwear before you go to bed no huh i’ve gotten a bad rep for wearing the same underwear for multiple days but i never told the caveat that like i wear i change into pajama underwear every single night yeah i mean if i went to sleep i wear boxers if i take a shower at night i wear briefs box of briefs during the day i don’t take a sh i don’t have a shower routine i take a shower at night every three days three to four days because i wash my hair every three to four days and i have to let it dry at night and then other other like five to six days of the week i take a shower in the mornings i don’t have any routine okay other than the fact that i do not change clothes i don’t i don’t take my shoes off you don’t have you don’t have skin in this game i don’t take my shoes off until i go to bed interesting okay i wear my shoes until 1am if i’m watching tv i don’t take my shoes off so i’m not defending and i’m just saying that’s just does it cross my mind like ah my feet hurt i need to take my shoes off it’s like that part of my brain never developed so you don’t okay because you don’t relate i definitely relate but i disagree so for me having many days especially if i have a tough day again it’s like i i want to i seek that comfort of like getting into something more cozy and then i’m just gonna sit down we’re gonna we’re gonna and this is before dinner yes this is when i get home from work there’s if i have a really bad pajama pants on before dinner if i’ve had a really bad day tip but then typically much more often i would eat dinner and then it’s like if we’re it’s a couple hours before bedtime we’re going to sit down and watch something on television survivor of course then i’m going to say before we do i got to go get my topo chico and i’m going to put on my boxers and pjs and i’m going to get totally ready for this this optimizes the comfort of this experience and it’s part of it for me all of that being said i do not think first of all being a psychopath has nothing to do with this and i don’t want to use that language so and i’m leaving that out of it but i do i do not think it’s a good idea to make this a daily habit because from my perspective if i come home from work every day and i immediately slip into my most comfortable stuff i’m not present it’s like i’m presenting my best self to the outside world but then when i come home i’m just like presenting my just my most comfortable self which is not my best self not my most attractive self to uh christy that’s how i look at it you know what i mean sexy pjs i mean i don’t wear them but i was gonna start wearing them they look good i don’t have sexy pjs now if hannah or hannah’s partner are coming home and putting on sexy pjs then my argument is gone because that doesn’t sound like the content no i just think that you got you even on the weekend you know i like to put on clothes and like try to look like me look like the me that i want to put out there like so that i like to get a compliment from christy oh i like that i like that sweater oh you’re wearing a sweater on the weekend yeah it’s like i only wear sweats on the weekend and i’m not gonna fault you for that but if you if you only wear if you are only in pjs around your partner then you’re not giving them the best version of yourself and i think they’re you know it’s like you you want to you want to keep the sizzle alive you know you want to keep you want to keep that little round going you know and that means putting your best foot forward putting in the work now you don’t have to do it constantly you know i’m not even going to put a ratio on it but i think i want to put my best best self out there for chrissy so she remembers that this is what i do is not just for other people it’s also for her and for me you know it affects my how i feel about myself when i walk by a mirror you know so i feel strongly that you got to take your partner’s interest and attraction in mind and don’t don’t save your best for other people that’s what this means to me okay well i mean but if they’re sexy pjs that argument doesn’t play that’s true but we know we know we know it’s now to me either way the scientific argument applies that you may be screwing up your sleep cycle by signaling by getting too comfortable before you actually go to sleep if you can like set the intention and make the transition apparel wise right around going to sleep you might sleep better maybe i mean i’m reminded of that like the flight of the concord song business time where he’s like he’s like but wednesday’s the night that we make love it’s like and he’s he makes a joke about like oh when you’re in your sweatpants and you’re that team building t-shirt that you got at your uh at the corporate event yeah whatever the joke is you know it’s like yeah that’s what they’re making fun of is just like okay you’re not giving me your best self here yeah which you know they’re on the bone occasionally there’s a part of you know being in a long-term relationship once you feel you don’t feel the pressure but i get your point that there’s a balance uh this is an interesting one from from kit um okay i asked my boyfriend if he’d still love me if i was a worm and his response is always no you’d be a worm he says he’d still take care of me until the end of my wormy life but he wouldn’t love me whereas i tell him if he turned into a worm i’d still love him and make sure he was living his warm life to the fullest i just don’t see why me being a worm makes me incapable of being loved well it makes you incapable of giving y’all crazy lots of type of love this is wild uh man now where are you the only way i can relate to this is there’s definitely many times especially as a kid when i thought to myself if i accidentally turned into a bug of some kind how would i let my family know which is why you wrote that part of the i’m a thoughtful guy rap where it was like i think if i turn into an ant oh yeah yeah yeah yeah and then you start spelling out things right it says yeah it’s in that rap yeah that haunted me that haunted me because i was like how far could i get and then like they would see it written and then see an ant next to it and then they they wouldn’t just immediately think oh the ant wrote this they have to see the ant doing it but i ain’t moved so slowly that the chances that they see the process unfold i just think basically if you turn into an ant you’re screwed no one’s ever gonna know that you happened you’re gonna get killed but if you didn’t know and let’s go back to the worm thing unless you know earthworms aren’t let’s say it’s an inchworm the cutest worm of all okay you know it’s like yeah you would keep it in a terrarium and you’d say yeah that used to be my partner no but it’s not that is my partner that used to be my partner now it’s an inchworm and i’m i’m loving it we have a difference of opinion again you know i think it is your partner yeah you’re right it is that is my partner is a worm but my partner’s now an inchworm do you love it well yes you know in a different way you know it’s i still love it i still love it but we don’t you know we don’t we don’t get intimate anymore for example well we do but it’s different it’s it’s it’s only a bunch it’s not it’s basically reduced to tickling i barely feel it wow um i think that you can still communicate you could come up with a communication uh method but i think one of the first things well not the first thing but ultimately you you’d want to use that communication method to establish that hey i need human interaction and i’m going to i’d like to find another human partner i’d like for you to find an inchworm partner here’s the thing and this is the thing i didn’t take into account with the whole ant thing is that when a person’s when a person turns into an animal they don’t retain the human intuition and ability to process like they i think that’s baked in though no that dude we’ve got to be scientific about this when a person turns into a worm they have the capacity of a worm i don’t know how the right i don’t know how there’s no consciousness this is translated from simple human to worm but like it’s like you can’t it’s not your that’s not my partner anymore it’s yeah then it’s now alright i can’t take a nintendo cartridge and stick it in a toaster you know what i’m saying so if the brain is the nintendo cartridge you stick it into a toaster the toaster is like we do not know what to do with this other than melt it so a worm is so simple that it’s just it’s a special worm it has sentimental value but the moment that a person turns into a worm they no longer care about anything other than what a worm can care about and a worm doesn’t give a [ _ ] about a human you know what i’m saying until they’re dead they try to eat them i think i would put the i’d build a little terrarium locket and i’d carry around Christy in a let’s make this personal inchworm Christy in a and a lock it around my neck and even after she died i don’t know how long worms no not not after she died no a dried insect i would i wouldn’t put in a locket no i would i i want to enrich uh inchworm Christy’s life by just bringing her around with me like she can hear conversation you know what i would do of course you’re saying that the worm can’t i would keep her at home after Jessie worm Jessie died i put her into the bottom of the most expensive tequila i could find and then i would just drink her okay that’d be it it could gather the kids around but if she could communicate that’s when i think i would keep her in a locket and try to enrich her life as much as possible if it was like the disney version but i would need to she could still talk and everything of course at that point we’d figure out ways to make it work right yeah uh solve that one live your worm life to the fullest do we want to get into this one i’m kind of afraid of this one yeah why not let’s get into a serious one okay this is from lizzie i’m moving in with my boyfriend of four years this summer and my family does not believe it’s a good idea for reference i was raised in the christian even evangelistic church how she puts it and have since left any tips on how we can amicably move through this disagreement to hopefully land in at least a civil place coming from a background of very strong held beliefs on marriage and the correct order of events i’d love to hear your opinions wow lizzy thanks for putting this out there um shoe i feel like i need to preface this with you know we haven’t dealt with this with our own kids but uh you know they’re getting older and this will be something that i think that we’ll have to we’ll have to tackle but right now i’m just going to be i’m just going to be firing from the tackle we’re going to have to i’m going to have to wrap my mind around how i’m going to approach this but i have like it’s not like Christy and i sit around and talk about what’s gonna happen when lily says that she wants to move in but not marry her partner first like what we haven’t had that discussion it’s just not something that’s come up in conversation i mean we got enough that we’re parenting through right now it’s like that’s the truth of parenting if you try to look too far ahead you swerve off the road right here you know so i’m just making that point that like i i can’t just sit down and say oh well i’ve thought about this and this is what we’ve concluded i’m shooting from the hip well i mean first of all the are you no i thought about it a little bit okay but have you and Jessie talked about this not this specifically but i i mean i have a framework for how i think about these okay so we should establish that of yeah in the same way that lizzy’s alluding to here yeah we’ve we lived our entire lives thinking that i you i would never shack up was the phrase with someone who i wasn’t married to um and then when Chris and i started dating yeah it was never within the realm of possibility to even consider that yeah it was all everything was baked into the experience of you get married then you have sex and also move in together right which is kind of in that order actually which is the point that one thing to establish is that i mean i’m sure there are some exceptions but in general um those two things go hand in hand believing that having pre-marital sex is wrong is the belief that not living together until you get married is predicated on right that’s that’s really the only way that you get there there’s not again there could be exceptions but the logic follows that we’re not gonna live together we’re not going to cohabitate because cohabitation with romantic partners is probably also involving sexual intercourse until we can you know by our own standards be intimate with one another so so i kind of want to set aside because i’m i’m not an expert on like well i’m not an expert on many things and nothing that we talk about this podcast but i’m definitely not an expert on or i don’t have like statistics you know at the ready and i think a lot of statistics people i mean i wrote an article in the school paper the nc state school paper because i was i had i had an opinion column that’s right the nc state school paper and i wrote a whole article about why regardless of your religious tendencies uh you shouldn’t have pre-mental sex and you shouldn’t move in with your partner because uh statistics showed that people who waited to get married uh waited to have sex when they got married and lived together lived together longer or stayed together more often and people who cohabitated before marriage got divorced more often now again when you’re creating a persuasive argument in that way a lot of times it’s easy to find stats that kind of support your thing but from a logical perspective it kind of makes sense that if you move in and live together and then at some point later you decide to get married then you’re kind of just sort of stamping a uh a legal commitment on top of something that kind of already exists and maybe it doesn’t feel i don’t know i actually i don’t know what the statistics are so i don’t even want to get into what’s actually a good idea and what’s a bad idea but i just to uh present the other argument which is obviously well there’s so many benefits to cohabitating right before you make a commitment or if you view them as sacred vows because you’re uh you know you’re testing the waters you’re you’re if for something that’s so huge like let’s commit the rest of our lives to being together uh why don’t we kind of ease into this a little bit there’s a reason there’s a shallow end to pools yeah and my point is that that whole argument about which is better is beside the point okay okay like i’m not i’m not gonna tell you what’s better and what’s not better i’m not even gonna tell my kids because the fact is is that if my kids don’t believe that they have to wait to have sex until they get married which they don’t because they don’t have a religious framework where that would be the case um i’m not saying they don’t have a sacred or you know view of sex i’m just saying they don’t have the christian view of sexuality so they’re almost assuredly going to live with somebody at some point a partner whether they’re married yet or not i think the i think the thing in this situation is that you’ve got parents of adult children who believe that they should be doing something and continue to try to parent you and give you advice and this is especially difficult if you’re in a situation where you were raised in a christian home and you were kind of expected to live by christian standards and now you’re outside of that and you don’t actually live according to those standards that’s not how you make decisions but your adult parents still believe that this is what’s best for you and let’s not it’s not this is not just a christian phenomenon this is any sort of any sort of phenomenon where the parents think something and there’s a framework that the kids do not follow i mean it’s yeah this is much bigger than christianity and my take on that is that i think it is important to you know if you have a good relationship with your parents and you respect their wisdom i think it you know they are another outlet of advice and guidance to some degree but once you are an adult they’re not your parents in the same way they should not be parenting you anymore this is a very difficult thing for parents easier said than done very difficult things to do but since you’re not the parent and you’re the child asking this question i think the thing is is that you have to say i’m going to make the decision that i think is best for me and again that’s based on your own convictions and research and whatever and i’m not going to tell you what’s right and what’s wrong in that you made the decision that’s best for you and then your parents have you now i’m not saying be disrespectful you you can be respectful in the way that you communicate that but i think you have to set up a new mode which is i’m an adult i do the things that i think are best for me you are my parent but you’re no longer parenting me you did parent me in the past and now you’re just my mom and my dad we’ve got to set up a boundary where you’re no longer telling me what i should do and what i shouldn’t do this is a really tough thing to do but like yeah i think and there’s a tough way to it’s tough to broach that conversation i mean she’s saying hopefully we land in a civil place where you can still have a relationship i really hope that for you lizzy that um that you still are able to have a relationship that is vibrant in other areas you know and you just got this maybe there’s a sore spot but it’s yeah i do think that there’s a way to maybe dis disarm the conversation and have more of a connecting um to still have a connection i think there’s open-ended questions that might can be worked into a heartfelt conversation but it might this type of thing might require an appointment hey i’d just love to sit down and talk about this where we can hear each other out and you know it’s the type of thing where you start to think about well can i write a letter to as like a preamble to a phone call or an in-person conversation i don’t disagree with that where it’s like you’re saying things like i love you i i know you love me i know you want what’s best for me do you expect me to do everything that you the way you want me to do it do you expect that to be how i live my life i i’m maybe maybe you’d be curious to know that answer do is your love um contingent on me making certain decisions that you agree with you know i i think that’s really what this is about and then because what you don’t want to get into is you don’t want to engage in a way and this is a very difficult thing for a child to do of any age it’s for many of us it’s very difficult to get to a place where we can engage with our parents as if they don’t have authority over us anymore but they don’t especially in a way that is still loving and respectful and in has you have an engaging conversation and not a not a combative one and now this gets very complicated if you are still financially dependent on your parents or if you work for your parents if your parents are your boss it gets really muddy i’m not saying it can’t work it can work but in those situations it’s really important to establish boundaries that hey dad you might be my boss but you’re not my dad anymore in the sense that you don’t parent me and the moment that i you know when i yeah and i wouldn’t say it that way no no but but you’re not my dad anymore no no but i’m not you but you being my dad me anymore different way yeah i’m your employee now and i am your adult son or daughter but i’m you so there’s boundaries we’re just kind of talking about boundaries and it sounds like what’s happening is that these parents may not again this is a very difficult thing to let go of when your kid leaves this this this way of thinking about things and starts making decisions that don’t reflect your ideology and your religious convictions you of course it isn’t just a difference of opinion you actually think they’re going down a path of darkness to destruction they’re living according to the world they’re not doing what god wants them to do anymore right this is a i’m not saying this is easy i will point out on the but on the other side of this you might jump to the conclusion that you would be rejected if you go through with something that your parents disagree with and but it could go it could go either way it could be a tragic separation where there is rejection but it could also you could also be surprised that yes even though they’ve taken a stance on paper whenever their own child is going through something it’s an opportunity for your parents to um to adjust yeah so i think they’re you know all hope is not lost even if they’ve demonstrated maybe even with an with an older sibling or another sibling that um is this is going to end this is going to end poorly it’s going to end in rejection maybe that’s not the case so uh but if it does end up that way it’s like you have to you’ve got to make sure that you’re protecting your yourself and interacting with that as healthily as possible so then then the boundary conversation is is more about that how do i move forward given that this is the stance that they’ve taken yeah because ultimately you can’t engage in a way that indicates or suggests that what they think and what they think you should do is actually going to be the determining factor and what you do do that’s the boundary though you’re trying to determine that that’s the boundary that you’re setting up is that i’m an adult i make decisions according to what i think is right i will take your advice about things but this is really you have a religious perspective on this that i no longer hold so i don’t have the same underlying motivation to make that decision and then your parents have an opportunity to respond to that because you know what they’ve got room to grow as well like you don’t ever stop growing you never start adjusting like you stop adjusting like you said and so sometimes you have to make the difficult decision and then put the ball in their court to make them have the mature response and just because they’re older doesn’t mean they’ll have a mature response i’m not saying and you shouldn’t i’m not saying you go into a situation like this like a bull in a china shop and you just are like screw it i’m going to do exactly what i want and everybody can deal with it you love your parents i assume they love you you want it to be amicable and you said that’s what you want um i do think there is a way there but if you get to a civil place because you’re sort of submitting to their authority and letting that still be a dynamic in your relationship it’s actually not going to be a healthy thing long term [Music] good luck with that lizzy thanks for sharing hopefully that was helpful okay i mean do you do you want to hit another one really quick i think here’s a here’s a quick one to shut things down podrick payne tweeted to us if you call shotgun to a car but re-enter the house once it’s called are your shotgun privileges revoked yes yes yes because it you if you go to a restaurant where you order at the counter then you get a number then you get a seat and then they bring you the food or you wait at the counter until you get the food and then you get a seat you do not come into the establishment and then send somebody to get a seat and then go up in order that’s not the system that ain’t how this works and that is not respectful to everyone else there’s a reason why there is a flow there is a there’s a right way to do it you know i’m an enneagram one so and an industrial engineer so to me that’s what this made me think of it there’s a system to call in shotgun and you can’t manipulate it selfishly i’m gonna go out here i’m gonna sit in the car i’m just gonna be in the car until people come out to need to go somewhere and then it’s like i’m i’m calling a shotgun matter of fact i’m already in it but now that you’re all here i’m gonna go in the house and make you wait for me like that’s selfish well i know and i don’t even think and by the way it ain’t worth it i don’t think podrick is necessarily saying that this person sat in the car no i think it’s like it was hyperbole it’s like i could yell out the window as you’re all going to the car shotgun and then just like stay in the house first of all i believe that shotgun can only be called once everyone begins moving towards the vehicle i might even go as far as to say you can’t call shotgun until you’re outside but i won’t make that stipulation i mean some people play uno that you keep drawing until you can lay something down that’s torturous i don’t know what the actual rules are but you know what as a family if you want to change the rules as long as you all agree on them then i’m i you and when i enter to your house i’ll play uno by your rules i think that you need to come up with that if but you need to agree hey we all need to be exiting the house that’s what it says but re-enter the house once it’s called so i’m in the in order to start in order you can’t call shotgun until when and then until everyone’s moving towards the vehicle i i’m not asking you what your rules are oh i’m telling podrick i’m telling them i’m telling podrick that he and his pod need to come up with their rules they probably need to be written they probably need to be hammered onto the front door uh or i’m just talking about the universal rules of shotgun that i feel apply to all people once you’re yeah you can’t but it’s this is simple you can’t be moving towards the car calling shotgun just to go back in the house because i demonstrated how that could quickly move into just just being manipulated to absurdity yeah a person who calls shotgun has to move with intention towards the physical representation of shotgun which is being in the passenger seat after calling shotgun this isn’t a time for bathroom breaks etc this is a one motion the spirit of calling shotgun is that you’re doing it as an act of then moving into sitting in the passenger seat you’re being you’re kind of being a janet right here you know you’re being the type of person if you keep this up nobody’s going to want to ride with you anywhere who’s janet you know from earlier in this podcast oh oh yeah sorry janet throwing you under the bus you know i’m not going to say that i’m going to get in my pjs link said that janet i didn’t say that you know um okay i have a wreck real quick to wrap things up surprised to hear that you didn’t know about this website and that you also weren’t the one responsible for it neil dot fun like my last name dot fun so i don’t even i found this a long time ago what it’s just is some programmer who has a series of games so read off read off so like uh let’s settle this rocks ambient chaos 10 years ago but like this the size of space so you click on the size of space and then just go like this and it’s like oh there’s an astronaut there’s a hubble telescope oh i’ve seen this for like the size of buildings for the size of uh science fiction spaceships so yeah it kind of creates this timeline rocks oh there’s just four rocks um this is just nothing to do with size sitting on a toilet you’ve already solved wordle for the day neil dot fun yeah neil dot fun i mean it’s just just a lot of just my name’s sake it’s just a lot of fun to have it neil.fun not a sponsor i think you can like donate at the bottom of it maybe i think he says like yeah buy me a coffee you click on buy me a coffee oh no oh you can just oh it’s his first name is neil well too bad neil agarwal oh so i guess he has like a patreon or something but it’s powered by buy me a coffee so it’s like his version of that i don’t really understand but neil dot fun neil rhett’s not gonna join your patreon but he is promoting your oh just look at this maybe other people paper you have a piece of paper and then you fold it once it’s the thickness of a human hair fold it again width of a grain of hand boom boom width of a what a grain of sand and look at this with the penny width of a hummingbird and after like a width of a volkswagen unfolded this piece of paper now it’s taller than the eiffel tower whoa 25 folds now it’s it’s deeper than the mariana trench now it’s bigger than the roads that’s just 30 volts just i mean there’s just so much fun to be had at neil dot phone all right and there’s so much fun to be had here next week where we’re going to speak at you again but in the meantime hashtag your biscuits let us know if you disagree with anything that we’ve said uh if that’s even possible to watch more ear biscuits click on the playlist on the right to watch the previous episode of your biscuits click on the playlist to the left and don’t forget to click on the circular icon to subscribe if you prefer to listen to this podcast it’s available on all your favorite podcast platforms thanks for being your mythical best [Music]