Welcome to Good Mythical More. Who knew that cereal mascots could be so sexy. I’ve always thought that. Ooh, let’s find out. Let’s discuss and rank. But first, let’s give $1,000 to the National Center for Transgender Equality to aid in their mission to change policies and society. to increase understanding and acceptance of transgender people. Join us in giving and be your Mythical best over at transequality.org. Empathy. Woo! Woo! Woo! Let’s do this. Come on in guys. All right, we want you to meet a couple of members of the Sporked crew, hanging out with us. Just getting acclimated to things around here. Including Justine. Hello. Hey, Justine. And Gwynedd. And Gwynedd. Hi. And of course, you already know V and Trevor. Vianai! Trevor, eh! Eh! They know me too well. Come out, scooch on up, and don’t be shy. Get on in here. Come on Gwen. Oh! Don’t be shy. Okay. All right, so. And you know what, one on the way. A baby spork. We finally have a pregnant woman working for us. Yeah, I mean. Something you’ve been trying to get on staff for a while. Finally! For years. Yes! Wow! I didn’t even think about that. For years, we’ve wanted a Mythical pregnant woman. Diversity, equity and inclusion, baby. I’m happy to check a box. Happy to check a box. Okay. Just talk about the sexy cereal mascots. It is my understanding that you have written an article on sporked.com, where you have ranked the sexiest cereal mascots. I have indeed. Okay. I have a master’s degree. In what? She’s a spitfire, isn’t she? Yeah, in cereal sexuality. Yeah, that’s what I wrote my thesis on. Cereal sexuality. Okay. But we have not read that yet. So what we’re going to do, is we’re going to- I promise we will. We’re gonna go through all these mascots. We’re gonna, as a group, decide which one. Everybody individually consider, but then as a group, at the end, decide who we think is the sexiest cereal mascot and see if we agree with your predetermined thing. Okay? So just hold that back. Gwynedd, do you have a strong sense of mascot sexiness? Oh, God. Yeah! Yeah. Without hesitation. You’ve got like a radar- You head down the cereal aisle and it’s a feast for the eyes. Oh, wow. Yeah. I can only, Sometimes I can only spend a couple of minutes in the cereal aisle. You gotta go. I gotta go to the frozen section. Cool down. V and Trevor, you guys get hot and bothered halfway down the aisle? All the time. Oh yeah. You know who you’re talking to, right? All right. Yeah. As soon as it hits, I just start getting butterflies. Okay. Let’s see the first one. Okay. The Trix rabbit. Oh, whoa! Look at that tail. Oh! Look at that tail! Look at the pose. I mean talk about flexibility. He’s got a little junk in the trunk too. You can see it. Okay. He’s got a little booty going on. He’s- Look at those toes. He’s definitely chaotic, right? I feel like that’s the- Yeah. Good point. Number one way to describe the Trix. Very unpredictable. And is chaos sexy? Yes. Yeah. I think depending what you’re into, but yeah. Keeping things spicy. Yeah. Yeah. You don’t know. Well, I guess Trix isn’t spicy. No, it’s not. Technically. He won’t treat you right, but I don’t think that’s what we’re looking for here. He cares too much about the Trix. He’s not someone that you lock down. This is a fling. But for a romp in the night. One night. I mean. And you know, he’s a great listener. Big ears. And you know what they say about big ears. Good listener. Yeah, I actually just noticed the eyebrows just floating. They’re just, yeah. They’re not connected. Just airborne. Yeah. You gotta see a doctor about that. Okay. I mean, I just sort of, It’s not really doing anything for me yet. Yeah, I don’t think anyone’s worked up the sweat for the Trix rabbit. I don’t know. Justine, are we missing anything? I just wanna say, consider the personality. I am a woman. We look past Oh. Physical appearances. We think about the dimensions behind somebody. Right. Right. Right. See, I’m looking at height and bunnies, they’re not that tall. Right. He’s nice. Well, he is a bunny. So you know that means he’s got crazy drive. Oh! We weren’t even thinking about that. Libido. Yes. But that’s dangerous for me. He’s 63 years old. Still though. Those bunnies. Maybe he’s taking daily Cialis. If he’s taking daily Cialis, then he’s ready for anything. That old saying about a Catholic rabbit, right. He can keep spice at an old age. Haven’t heard that. That’s a good sign. Let’s see the next one, so we have something to compare it to. Well, let’s go relative with this. Oh gosh. Oh, no. All right. Yeah. Oh, it’s a trio. Okay. I need to preface something. These are not children. These are elves. Yeah, right. Yeah, I already knew that. Oh, that’s a great- Before anybody says anything. Right. They might be 300 years old. We don’t know. They are not children. Yeah. They don’t show their age. They definitely don’t shave though. No. Do they bathe? Well, they’re technically 89. They’re 89 years old. They look fabulous. Because that’s when they debuted, 89 years ago. But they debuted fully formed. Right. Yeah, so they may have had another job before this. Okay, but what is that guy gonna do with the spoon? Well, what do you want him to do? If we’re talking relative size here, that means that all three of them are smaller than an average cereal spoon. It could be a giant spoon. I’ve seen one of those. Yeah. Well, I mean, there’s three of ’em, so there’s never a dull moment. They’ll keep you busy. If you get tired of one, you can just go to the next one. Exactly, V. They also have very distinct styles. Like Pop. I mean, we’ve got Pop in his majorette uniform. Yeah. He’s very official. He’s strutting his stuff. More classic. Maybe elf garb. For Crackle? Crackle. Yeah, and then Snap is like a hipster for sure. Yeah, he is. With a hankerchief or a bandana. We can go to concerts and cook together. He’s dumpster dived when he was in college. He’s cool. He’s the one who spices up your top ramen. Oh. Oh. But they all have a very similar expression. So different style, same attitude. Are they siblings? And does that make it weird? No, I think it makes it a category on some websites. Okay. Justine, what are we missing here? I’ll note the hair on these ones. What is their hair? And I will also reveal that as an adolescent growing up during a time when emo and ska was kind of big, this is a sweep that really does it for a certain. Oh! The swoop. On Snap and Pop. Okay. Yeah. Crackle can honestly, look he’s just there. It’s like a banana peel. I’m sure he has a great sense of humor. He’s there to hold the spoon. That’s all, you guys. Hold the spoon and watch Crackle. All right, let’s see the next one. ‘Cause I don’t know between those two. This my guy right here. Okay. The Cheerios bee, his name is what? Buzz. Buzz. Oh. And you know what? He’s 43, so there’s not much of an age discrepancy in between the two of us. He doesn’t wear pants though. That Trix rabbit is looking better and better by the second. What, why? I love his attitude. Yeah, personally. It’s very positive. Is it that he’s not wearing pants or that he is wearing a shirt? He’s wearing a shirt. Yeah. Maybe both. Yeah. I don’t know. if you’re not wearing pants, I think you’re pretty much ready to go. What about the danger of the stinger? Well, but here’s the thing, He can only use the stinger once. Yeah. So he dies on you. Yeah, right. Yeah. So it’s definitely a one time thing. Yeah. Ultimate one night stand. Dying in the act of love making is the greatest sacrifice. It is the greatest. It’ll get romantic and then he just goes away. Then I can go back to the bunny. Go, go. Oh, so you, okay. All right. You’re not gonna choose one. You’re liking the Trix bunny? Yeah. You’re liking both with Buzz first. Yeah. And you can’t go through all of them, V. Well, I can’t tell you my answer yet. Okay. Justine, what are we missing with Buzz here? Honestly, I don’t wanna give anything away, but I’ll just give a hardy. What? Oh. Oh wow. Oh wow. That was a shutter. You got- I don’t like. Was that a pleasure shutter No. Or you don’t have anything? I think what Gwen finds attractive about him, that attitude, that positivity is not my shtick. Oh yeah. I don’t need somebody being There’s two artists. a real go-getter around me, honestly. Right, right, right. I can’t believe that basically one of the first detailed conversations we’re having with you guys is which mascot would you like to boink. Hey! Is that your first question to somebody on a plane? Who would you like to boink? Does it have to be a physical relationship? It could just be a feeling. What? You don’t say boink? I don’t know any other word for it. My great auntie says boint. Boint? She’s 85. It’s a whole new word. Hey, I’m sorry. Okay. Moving along. Oh! Yeah! Oh! Yeah! Come on, baby. I was waiting for this one. And you know what? He knows it. He knows it. He’s like, “I’m not even gonna open my eyes to watch you guys talk about me.” I’ve never seen this photo and it is- No, no, no. It is a photo. It’s taken from life on his vacation to the void. He only wears a bandana. He’s a hot shoot. He definitely tried out for Magic Mike, okay. Does he work out or is that natural? He does pushups. He’s gotta work out. I mean, it’s only arm day. Yeah. He skips leg day. No leg day. Every day is arm day. He skips leg day. Can we go to the next one where he uncrosses his legs? Tony the tiger would treat me right. That’s all I have to say about it. Yeah. His voice is sexy too. They are great. I thought you said you were moist. He’s moist. I’m moist. He definitely uses cocoa butter. He’s smooth. I can’t even believe we were talking about the, we actually talked about the Rice Crispy guys for like a couple of minutes, right? Right. Yeah. ‘Cause we didn’t know that Tony the tiger- This guy knows how to wear a bandana. Yeah. He doesn’t even have to open his eyes. Look at that coat. Look at that. It’s so smooth, soft. Yeah. I feel like bandana, Rice Krispies boy was taking some inspo’ here. Right. Yeah. Yeah. He was. You said he wasn’t a boy though, but yeah he’s elf boy. Okay, Justine, are we on the right track here? You’re covering a lot of ground here. Yeah. What about that blue nose? The blue nose is something to get around. I mean, it’s just his, I don’t know. Piece of flare, I guess. You gotta have something to set you apart from the other tigers. I don’t understand the choice really by the illustrator, but. Yeah. Oh, the illustrator’s involved in this. Well. Wait, this isn’t- What’s going on with this illustrator? Don’t ruin the illusion. You don’t draw a tiger that sexy without being a little twisted. I also happen to know that Tony the tiger is friends with Shaq, which I think is pretty cool. Oh yeah. That’s a great point. Right? Shaq has a really big bed. Tony the tiger just seems like a guy that would cuddle you afterward, you know? He would treat you right. You get done and he would just like snuggle up. You’d get done. He’s a body pillow. Lay your head on his chest. And he’s just soft and cuddly. I don’t know. That’s just my take. I haven’t thought about it a lot. But you will. That’s why I’m saying it now. All right. This has got to be the front runner. You don’t have to say who, but are we, is everybody on board with- Oh, I’m on Tony. Oh yeah. Yeah. One hundo P. Are we missing anything? Let’s hit the next one. Oh. Oh no. This is like- This is quite a picture too. Yeah. It’s very cult leader. I mean, I recently found out I’m Irish, but even I don’t wanna make love to that one. The guy that drives the white van. Creepy. Don’t get in it. Creepy. Creepy. There is a little bit of like a Benedict Cumberbatch coming out of it. There is. Okay. All right. Okay. Which movie? I mean kind of a Dr. Strange maybe, like a happy Dr. Strange. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe it’s the cape. The coat that looks like a cape that’s throwing me off. Another bandana. Ish. Oh wow. That’s got a little kerchief. I think we’re discovering that the illustrators, they don’t like to show cereal mascot, neck. Too hard. No. What is that? That’s funny. I don’t know, it’s like, “Do you wanna make a love?” “I don’t know.” Yeah. What is that? What is he responding to? Hundred gold. The pot of gold. Yeah. Top of the morning to ya, laddies. I mean, he’s only 58 though. Still got a lot of life left. Yeah. His energy looks like it would be too much though. I wouldn’t want all that love all at one time. He looks like he’d make out with his eyes open. Yeah. Yeah. That would be unfortunate. Just doesn’t wanna miss a thing. I mean, we’re not missing much. No, no, no. I mean look at it from a former New York hipster’s point of view maybe, with the scarf and the hand. I’m just saying, 2008 rolls around. Maybe this isn’t so bad. Yeah. That hat, right. Yeah. Yeah. Not from me. Put those hats away. Okay, moving along. Oh, Toucan Sam. Fruit loop. That’s quite a beak. What was his catch phrase? Follow your nose. Yes. Follow your nose. Yeah. Wow. That’s not a nose though. It’s a beak. Yeah. Well, I mean- I’m off topic. I kind of think it’s one in the same for a bird. That is a freaking beautiful beak. Now actual toucans, I do not expect them to have that beak. No, no, they don’t. Not rainbow beaks. No. Okay. Okay. I was like “Am I wrong?” Yeah. He’s unique. He has an accent. What? Does he? What is it? Isn’t it Australian? Am I just picturing that? Am I just like, did I just put that on him? You think he has an Australian accent. Confirming he’s British. British. Okay. Oh. Close. British. He’s 59. Follow your nose, it always knows. So you know, that can pull a lot of weight. Okay. Yeah, but. So you like the British accent. You like the Benedict Cumberbatch and then with the toucan Sam. Okay, we’re finding out some things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This one seems like a very, very middle ground for me. I don’t know, something about toucan Sam is just average. You find birds sexy in general or? Some birds. What’s the sexiest bird? Probably a peacock. Oh no hesitation. It’s the feathers. They attract my eyes. Well, that’s what they’re trying to do. I don’t want do it, but I just think we have to talk about it. I mean, the cloaca. Sure. Isn’t that fun? Isn’t that a new discovery? Isn’t that exciting? You’re ready for it. Isn’t that fun? I don’t know, Justine. I don’t have any experience with a cloaca. Is it fun? Are they fun? Are the cloaca’s fun? I want my friends with chickens to still invite me over, so I reveal nothing. Great point. I don’t know, so I’m saying no probably not. Yeah. I think he’s beautiful, but not sexy. Does that make sense? I think he’s like an ally, for sure. Definitely. Well, the rainbow. 100%. He’s the wing man. Yeah. Snack man. Okay. Another eyebrow situation. Cap’n Crunch. What? I, oh. They live on the hat. They are on the hat or. I don’t know, that mustache. Cap’n Crunch seems very selfless to me. Like he’s willing to, you know, his partner comes first. That’s just the vibe that he gives out to me. Yeah and I like somebody who doesn’t really care that much about their body. You know what I’m saying? He’s not a dad bod, that’s a granddad bod. Yeah. But hey, that’s a big finger. And you know what? He’s only got four. He’s only got four on each hand. Makes up for it with big ones, I guess. And who knows what that “C” stands for on his hat? Oh. Cap’n or crunch. Yes. Definitely crunch. I think those. He’s got money though, you know? He has old money. Right. Key, old money. Also, he’s gone a lot. He’s at sea a lot. So you can have, he could have cereal mascots on the side. Oh, dang Gwynedd. Yeah. You talk about that to Cap’n Crunch? My husband tours a lot. Don’t tell him I said that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are you saying he has wenches? And he has a boat, did you mention that? Yeah. He has a boat. That’s huge. I mean think about just the weekends. Yeah. On the boat. That’s big. I don’t know. Tony the tiger does not have a boat, guys. He’s just an animal that lives in the woods. Yeah. But he could protect me though. Yeah. There is again, he could. He can use Shaq’s boat. I’d say Cap’n Crunch is a dilf. He’s got dilf energy. I mean a gilf. I’m sorry. He has principal energy. Yeah. You know what? we’re all still comfortable at this point in this conversation. I gotta give it to us. We’re all still comfortable. Yeah, we are. We are. And by the way, that is the last one. Oh. Cap’n Crunch is the last option. So it feels like a Tony the tiger group here. I mean just fur and physique alone. Yeah. I’m just thinking so, yeah. How do we agree? How do we do it? You nailed it. Yeah. We nailed it. Yeah. Absolutely. There’s no choice. I mean, this is like. Who’s was second? Snap, Crackle, and Pop. I like the hair. You like the hair? Triple up baby. Well, who was in last place? Oh boy. The bee, sorry. Wow. Just too enthusiastic. I just don’t care. I’ll take him. He does nothing for me. I mean, ecologically, bees do a lot. Yes. No, no, no. I mean like on a global scale, for Buzz, absolutely. Right. Right. Right. But on my personal sex drive scale. Yeah. Right. It’s like, “Thank you for your service, but please don’t service me” kind of thing. Yes. I don’t know about you guys, but I think Justine and Gwynedd fit right in. Go to sporked.com and be sure to check it out. Hang out on the TikTok and the Instagram. And see Justine’s full ranking of all of these sexy mascots at sporked.com. Thanks, guys. Welcome to the crew. Thank you! We’re glad to have you guys. Yeah, very happy to be here. Only a few days left to join 3rd Degree Quarterly or Annual to get Mythical’s first ever comic book. Visit mythicalsociety.com for details.