Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I’m Link. And I’m Rhett. This week at the Round Table of Dim Lighting, we are going down the rabbit hole. Watch out now. Using new methods. Who knows what we’re gonna talk about today. Who knows who’s gonna drop in? Sure, we might have somebody special, real special drop in. I got somebody special who said they were gonna drop in. They had something they wanted to say, and because they’re kin, Oh. you know, I can’t, I can’t deny his request. Might be, oh his. Might be your son, one of your sons. Nope. Hmm. You have a rogue hair. How’s that? I mean, here’s the thing. I think it was fine when it was down, but I know that you would want me to tell you. Thank you. So. If it falls down again. Is it up? You know, it’s up, but I’m gonna give you, I’ll tell you two more times, max. Okay. Happens a fourth time, Just gimme a signal. Let’s not make this part of the podcast. Let’s just make it a signal. You know, this is good. This is for the people who are just listening, and like, I gotta watch that YouTube version. I gotta see that rogue hair. I like his beard. I like when they throw little things in there like that, Link. I thought you did it on purpose for that reason. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so we’re gonna go down the rabbit hole, but before we go down the rabbit hole, we’re gonna go into the bear cave. That’s my way of saying that I’m gonna tell a story about a bear. Oh spoiler. So recently, and here’s the thing. I already told you this story, and can you just act like I haven’t? I was going to. Typically, I wait to say things, but we were in this mixed company situation, and I really needed to tell you the story. I needed to tell somebody else the story, and I was like, I just don’t wanna do the Ear Biscuits thing where I hold it for a few weeks. Yeah, and when you say mixed company, what do you mean by that? You know, people who you do a podcast with and people you don’t. Is that what you mean by mixed company? What does mixed company usually mean? Mixed company, I thought was like, Men and women? when it’s like co-ed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean it was in that sense. It was. It was a co-ed group. Yeah, there was all types of genders there, and everyone was, well I don’t know if everyone was represented. No. Everyone wasn’t represented. Right. No, yeah. How’s that even possible? Yeah, that’s true. I don’t, yeah, I mean, You know? I don’t even know why I said mixed company. I don’t know why I made it about representation. People who are my friends and you. It’s a good story. I’m gonna hear it like it’s the first time. Good. Okay, so I, Jessie and I took a little weekend away with our friends, Lance and Lacey, you know, our long-time friends who are responsible for You know, mixed company. the Beard and Lady products that we sell, our grooming line. That’s right. Been friends for a very long time, probably 15 years now. And they were coming into town, and we were like, hey, they’re coming into town without their children. So we were like, Jackpot. hey, why don’t we For them. leave our child, Jackpot for you. and just go to the mountains? Let’s get away from this heat. It was that crazy hot heatwave weekend that we had recently. Yeah. So we just went to a place that was probably 20 degrees cooler, which was nice. In the woods. Yeah, and it’s not uncommon when you visit these places in the California mountains that there’s lots of, you know, if you’re doing an Airbnb, there’s all kinds of information that you’re overwhelmed with when you arrive at the Airbnb. And in this particular case, some of that information mentioned bears, but like, more mentions than seemed necessary. Like it was in the email, it was in the handbook, it was a sign on the door. On the door? Just all kinds of stuff, like do not leave any food outside, or else you will be fined $4,500. Good gosh. Because there are bears in this here neighborhood, and they are hungry bears. And I’m like, okay, well yeah. Yeah, I mean, theoretically, Right? Theoretically. So we, this is the first night we, you know, we hang out, we eat some food, we leave food out. Outside? No, on the kitchen counter. Like we had brought food, like some fruit, some chips, stuff that doesn’t go inside the refridge. Okay. And stuff that’s not gonna go in a cabinet. It’s just like, kind of out on the counter. Yeah, but they said don’t leave the food outside. They said don’t leave it outside. So we didn’t do that. Now the way this place was set up is that it had, what I believe is like a south-facing, almost a complete glass wall, like four sets of sliding doors, and then a bunch of glass on top. So like, it’s southern facing, like, just window, you know, get the view of the valley, situation. That’s a great way to face. And let’s lot of sun in. Yeah, but you’re not blinded by the sun on a set or a rise. It’s more of you get. Correct. You get it throughout the day. Correct. So when it’s cold, it really warms it up. That was really an irrelevant point. Well let’s not start pointing those out. But. In your story. So we go to sleep, and we’re sleeping in two separate rooms, you know, at least couples are. Okay. Each couple’s in a separate room. Mixed company. It was that kind, it was that kind of thing, where you each get your own bedroom. And Lance and Lacey said to us, you know, we tend to get up a little early. Also time change, you know, they’re on the Central East Coast. Central? Central. Central time zone? Central time zone. And so, you know, we’ll be quiet, but we might get up a little bit earlier than y’all. Like, ten four. Probably didn’t actually say ten four, I probably just said okay. But then, it’s like seven o’clock in the morning, and this is vacation time. So seven o’clock’s very early. And we begin to hear, wow, somebody’s really making a racket upstairs. And if I may, you know, if you hadn’t mentioned bears at all, I would just point out, you know, I’m not trying to tell you storytelling 101 here, but like if it were me, I probably wouldn’t have mentioned bears at all. No, because. My preamble wouldn’t have been about bears. The tension. But here’s the thing, I got people hooked. They haven’t fast-forwarded through this part. Oh, you were afraid. It’s all about Okay, that’s legitimate. You have to make a choice. That’s legitimate. Yeah. I mean, did you see how big Brian and Logan’s eyes got when I said somebody’s rummaging? That happened out there on the airwaves too. I mean, you gotta choose your battles. Right. Now, everybody’s thinking that you’re about to get in a bear point of the story. So in my, I would advise you to, give ’em a left turn. You’re crimping my style at this point. Yeah. Yeah. And we’re like, wow, okay. They said they, they said they might be up early, but this seems disrespectful. The level of loudness seems disrespectful, you know? Right. What are they doing up there? It was probably them though. And now cut to Lance and Lacey in their own bedroom, saying to one another, Rhett and Jessie, we didn’t think they were gonna get up. We didn’t think that they were gonna get up this early and be making this kinda racket. At which point, Lance gets up and goes into the main area of the house, which is like a living room, a dining room, and a kitchen all open together. And at that point, Oh, open floor plan. Nice. He sees a bear. No way. No, hold on, what? Mm-hmm. In the kitchen? No, it was outside. Okay. See, but I got you. It was a bear standing on the deck, standing up with its hands on the screen, ripping through the screen to get, right next to the handle, to get to the handle, to open the handle of the sliding glass door to come inside and get the food that it smelled, and I guess saw on the counter. The bananas and chips? And I said, how big was said, first of all, he sees the bear, he says to Lacey, it’s a bear. And he goes back to get his phone, and when he comes back, the bear has gone. So the bear did not get inside, but the bear was actively trying to open the door. Bears are smart. They know how these things work. So it took, it basically ripped. In fact, I just texted ’cause I didn’t get a picture. I texted Lacey and Lance to see if they got a picture of the screen. They just, he just shredded the screen? If we have that, you’re seeing that in the YouTube version now. But honestly, I don’t know if we have it, because. But what is it? I mean was it like, was the whole screen ripped off? No, it was two spots on the screen were four strips, like a bear claw. Oh wow. And then a spot that it just ripped through right next to the handle to get to the handle of the glass door. It was shimmying the handle? And thankfully we, yeah, that what was making, it was grabbing onto the handle and trying to get it open. And thankfully, we locked all the sliding glass doors, and we put the reinforcement like, you know, the little like wood rods to keep the doors from opening? And we were like, well dad gum, that bear was really coming in. I mean, these people weren’t lying. I mean if you would’ve left the door unlocked, and the rod out. The bear would’ve come in. Yeah, he would’ve walked into a bear just like eating the nanner. Well, the story is not over my friend, because we get up, we have a laugh about the bear. We begin to realize that the bear may come back. But my theory was that the bear was making its rounds, and it makes its rounds and tries things and opens things to see if, and if people are there, I mean, it’s not like people have been killed by bears in this place that we’re at. I don’t think so. I don’t think there’s a history of a bear attack or something like that. That wasn’t in the booklet, or on the door, or in the email? But you don’t wanna be the first, and you don’t wanna find out. But about an hour later, we decided we would walk outside, at which point, the first thing I see when I look outside is our car, and the driver’s side door to the car is open. That’s a good feeling. At that point, I remembered another thing that I read, which was lock your car doors. If he’s going for a sliding glass door knob. So I’m like, it’s probably, I know we didn’t leave that door open, but I’m pretty sure we didn’t lock it. ‘Cause I drove and I’ve gotten completely spoiled because the car that I drive is tied to your phone. So once you get about 20 feet away from my car, it automatically locks. Oh, behave. And so basically, what ends up happening is that when I drive Jessie’s car, I forget to lock it, because I’m like, oh, isn’t it supposed to do this when I get 20 feet away anyway? Mm-hmm. Spoiled. So. So this has got your fault written all over it. I’m approaching the SUV, and the door is open. You creeping, right? And we got tinted windows, and we tined ’em too much, probably beyond the legal limit, so I can’t see into the back. Damn, you’re living on the edge. And I’m like, what are the chance, the bear was just here, what are the chances that I’m gonna go up to this car, and the bear’s gonna be in there? I mean. At least 50%. Maybe. Yeah. ‘Cause I believe it was in there at one point. I creeped to the car. I stop, I wait. I’m assuming that there’s gonna be some sort of movement that the bear. Did you like throw a stick at the car? No, I just thought, if there’s a bear in there, it’ll be rummaging. And I didn’t see any motion. So I go up, and I just opened the door a little bit more, ’cause it was like half closed. Look in, no bear. But the first thing that I’m thinking is I’ve seen these pictures about what bears, of what bears will do to your car. They’ll pry open a door like taking the lid off of a can. And not just that. When they get into your car, typically what will happen, in fact, there was a picture at the general store in town, and it said bears versus car, and it said lock your car doors. And it had these pictures of the interiors of cars that had been bearified. And they just go in there, and they smell, like, a goldfish that your kid dropped into the seat cushion, and they rip the seat cushion up to get to it. Thankfully, Buried treasure. I guess my kids are old now, and we only got one at home now. The only thing that I could find is there was dirt on the driver’s seat, ’cause it had gotten up with its dirty paws, and then it had gone into the back seat, and there was one claw mark where it kind of like went in kind of deep on the leather seats. Punctured it. Didn’t completely go through. And I am, I think I am showing a picture of that right now, unless it’s like bounced back. But that was the only evidence that I could find that it was in there. And it definitely was in there, and then it left. In the back seat too? Yeah, it like, I think it went over, and like looked in the back seat, and probably smelled, and then decided it was nothing. I cannot believe that your car was not ripped to shreds. Oh, we’re so lucky. I mean, had you cleaned out your car? I mean like, I’m not trying to dog on you here, but like I’ve been in, this is Jessie’s car, right? Oh yeah. I’ve been in Jessie’s car. I mean Jessie’s car has, it’s just, it’s an accumulation zone for like, I mean. Mostly not food though. It’s like design samples, and like tile, and a bunch of carpet samples and curtains. Yeah. Okay. It’s like a design woman’s car, you know. Designing Women, remember that show? That’s what, it’s like what you imagine the inside of their car to be. But no smoothie remnants? No like granola. Listen, you’re as just as, I’m just as surprised as you. You were spared dude. That was cr, I mean especially, there’s signs everywhere. It’s like every time, every point in the story, I thought you’d done telling me about signs, there’s more warnings. It’s like, this is definitely on you. Well, and we kept thinking that the bear was gonna. General store. We kept thinking the bear was gonna come back, you know. They can open doors. Oh, and there was zero evidence of a bear claw. I mean, I don’t know how to open some doors. Well. Like your Tesla would’ve been impervious to a bear. ‘Cause I don’t know how to get in that thing. We, no, I would say a Tesla is like bear-proof. And I don’t know how to get out of it either. And maybe that’s the whole point. Like I pulled the thing that a normal person would get out of the car. You’re not supposed to pull anything. And then you’re like, oh, you’re supposed to push, don’t pull the thing that normally would get you outta the car. Push the button. It looks like it’s supposed to roll the window down. I didn’t design the car. That’s what opens the door. I’m not defending Tesla. But it also rolls the window down a little bit. So it rolls the window down and opens the door a little bit. Yeah. I’m like, what? Yeah. So bring the bear in. I need to know how to get out of this thing. But it’s, all they have to do is stick their hands up under the handle, and just pull, and they have figured it out. Their bear hands. Like they have completely figured this out. That’s why inside the house, the trash cans had, just the trash cans inside the house, under the, like under the sink were bear-proof, had bear-proof lids on them, so that if it happens to get in, it can’t, like, ’cause they, they just know how to open stuff. Smelling stuff. You have to create some weird way that they can’t get into things. So anyway, I survived. Thanks for, thanks for being concerned. But yeah, those bear warnings. I’d already heard the story. Those bear warnings are, I don’t think I’ve ever, I don’t know if I’ve actually had a bear encounter. I have in my own backyard. You have. I mean it’s like the bears turn over the trash cans and. But did you have to pay a fine? I mean if it’s $4,500, did you report this to the people? Oh yeah, well them getting into my car. No, I mean the door, like the ripped door. Yeah but we didn’t do anything wrong. We didn’t violate any rules. Leaving food on the counter is not a problem. But, so you had a conversation with ’em? I actually, right before we started recording, it hit me. I said, I texted Jessie ’cause it was her Airbnb account, and I said, did you ever tell the owner that the reason the screen door was ripped up and ripped off was because of a bear? And she was like, yes, I told him. Okay. So they knew. Also, just weird side note, but kind of cool. First Airbnb I’ve ever stayed at where they had merch. There was a closet full of hoodies and t-shirts. I stayed here and survived a bear attack. And it said, did you forget? Did you, you know, did you forget a sweatshirt or something like that? Just take one home, and let us know, and we’ll add it to your bill. And it was like a brand. It’s like a company that owns the house or something, I guess. Okay. But anyway, it was pretty cool. Jessie got one. Jessie and Lacey did. I guess, because they’re pretty nice hoodies, and they were, I mean they’re selling ’em for 40 bucks. That’s a pretty good price for a hoodie. That’s not bad for a hoodie. Yeah. I mean if you go, if you go to a show, I went to the Kendrick Lamar concert. You buy, I mean hundred dollars for a hoodie. Yeah. Easy. I mean, it had two naked people on it. $50 each. Yeah. And they were, I think it was either a ti, they were on a tiger rug. Yeah? Did you get one? For my son, yeah. To wear to high school. You got him naked people on his clothes. No, I didn’t. I just made a lot of jokes about it. Well son, I know which one I’m getting you. And then I was like none, ’cause it’s a hundred dollar hoodie. It’s like. You get him a t-shirt? Nope, the line was too long. Honestly, I was like, you know what, I don’t like anything that he’s got up here. So I don’t wanna wait in line. You don’t like, Kendrick doesn’t have good merch? He didn’t have great merch, in my opinion. That’s a surprise. Yeah. I mean, maybe it’s too, too ahead of his time. Probably. You know, it’ll be cool three years from now. I mean, don’t get me wrong, all of his merch is classic. It’s just, it’s just, I don’t find myself going back to it. That’s what I would say about his new album. The show was awesome though. Oh, oh wow. Yeah. A hundred. Shots fired. I was like Lincoln, honestly, if I really liked something, I would get in line and I would get it. And then I’d probably get you something too. But at this point, if you really want something, you need to buy it with your own money, and stand in line by yourself. And I don’t think any of this is worthy. He’s like, yeah. So I basically talked him out of him trying to talk me into buying him something. Hmm. Hmm. Sometimes you just need a t-shirt for the memory though. I like to get a t-shirt at a show, but I just couldn’t find anything that actively appealed to me. It was a shame. Surprising. It was a shame. But you enjoyed the show? I loved the show. Yes. Did anybody open up for him? Wouldn’t trade it for the world. Baby Keem, his cousin. They produce, they, you know, he came back out, and they did a couple of songs. Last night of the US tour. How old is the Baby Keem? How old is Baby Keem? He’s, he, he walks. He can walk, he can, he can talk. He can rap in complete sentences. So he’s at least five. Okay. All right. But he appears to be much older than that. How old does he appear to be? He appears to be in his mid twenties, maybe 30. Wow. It’s hard to tell. Okay. That’s an old baby. Definitely not much of a baby. Hmm. I don’t know. I bet you he’s in his twenties. How old is Baby Keem? 21? He’s 21? Oh, okay. He’s still baby. He is still a baby. I said he could be 30. You know, it’s like, it’s dramatically lit on stage. You know? I was within nine years. That ain’t bad. But you didn’t see a bear. Of course, I didn’t really either. No, but boy, you had me on the edge of my seat. I was wondering when a bear was gonna show up. Hey, we’re going to MythiCon. You might not be able to make it. We understand. But we want you to share in the experience of the first ever MythiCon, so we are making our stage show, which is a cornerstone of the MythiCon experience, a live streaming ticketed event that you can enjoy from the comfort of wherever you comforted. Yeah, so this is the Saturday night, October 29th show. This is gonna be a weird show. I’m just gonna be honest with you. We’re doing something that, yeah, we’re doing a number of things on this stage that we’ve never done before, and we will probably never do again. And so we were like. Not because it didn’t work, but because. It’s just a one, it’s a special thing. It’s just gonna, yeah, it’s just gonna be once you do it once, I don’t think you do it again. I mean, we’re gonna try something. We’re gonna try something that may have incredible results. We’re taking some big risks. Big risk. And creatively and Logistically? existentially. I would say that. We are taking some big risks, and we’re taking you into account. Yeah, so. So get a ticket. In order to make sure that every mythical beast has an opportunity to be a part of what we’re doing that night, we’re partnering with Kiswe to host a live-ticketed, live stream event. Okay? You said live twice. Yeah, well I wanna make sure you know it’s live. Pre-sale tickets available now for all Mythical Society members. And then we’re gonna have the general sale starting on Wednesday, okay? Join the Mythical Society. Join the Mythical Society. Get your tickets today. Mythicontickets.com. Mythicontickets.com. Okay. A live stream. Link, you know, last time, Check it before you wreck it. I experimented with a couple of conversation-starting websites, and I have since upped my game, did a little research. Okay. And I’ve upgraded. To what? Randomquestionmaker.com. Still not a sponsor. Okay. Random question maker dot com. But this lets you set the tone of the questions. What do you mean? What do you mean? You can select from candid, weird, icebreaker, creative and funny. So of course, I went with weird. Great. Okay, so I’m gonna, I’m gonna ask you a weird question. I’m gonna ask us a weird question. Okay. I don’t know why this is weird. What is the best job you ever had? That ain’t weird. This one. Besides this job, what’s the best job? It doesn’t say that. No, it says what is the best job you’ve ever had? This one. This is the best job I’ve ever had. This is definitely the best job I’ve ever had. Second best job I’ve ever had is not an obvious choice. It turns out I really haven’t liked jobs. I mean, for me, this feels like a pretty easy answer. It has to be our time on staff. Yeah. With Campus Crusade. Yeah, I guess that’s right. I mean, ’cause we were basically doing kind of what we’re doing now. Yeah, I agree with that. Just with the Jesus twist. Yeah, give me another. That one’s just not that weird. Yeah, I know. It’s weird that it would ask that question. So strange that it wasn’t weird. What? Have you ever been in a car accident or seen one? No, I’ve never seen one. I’ve never seen one. No. This is interesting. ‘Cause you were in a pretty, were you with your mom in that car accident? No. My mom broke her back. I was not in the van. Yeah, okay. You weren’t there. So what’s the most, what’s the craziest accident you’ve ever been in? Is it the one that I was there for? You’re talking about the, the Halloween egging? That’s the craziest car accident I’ve ever been in. My head broke the windshield. Yeah. That was my, that was my doing. Yeah. Yeah. I think, I mean, that was scary. That was, that was kind of traumatic. It was very shocking. I mean, we’re egging houses with our friends. We don’t recommend that. It’s me and you, and in my 1987 Nissan pickup that I still own. It’s at my mom’s house. Yeah. And Heather sitting in the middle of the bench seat. And then how many people are we saying now? I’m still gonna say eight. Eight people in the back. Eight people in the back, three people in the front, total of eleven. We’re, you know, you egg people’s houses, and then you flee the scene, and it’s, it had been raining a little bit, and we’re leaving this neighborhood that I never go in, you know? What was it called? It was really nice. Really nice. And Andrew. And then, so I didn’t see the stop sign ’til it was too late. And then it was, the road didn’t continue straight. You had to turn right or left when you stopped at the stop sign, which I was going through, at I don’t know, 35 miles an hour. Try again. So I, 45? Mmm yeah. 50. So I slammed on brakes until I realized that like, oh, there’s just a field out there. So then I was just like, we’re just gonna go into the field. But there was like a huge ditch that wha-bam. We like go down into this ditch and then we hit. So we had so much momentum that like we hit the ditch and then popped up on the other side and like came to rest in the field. And when I looked around, the front, my front windshield was cracked. Thanks to your forehead. Well, in my perspective, I get into the car after having thrown eggs. And of course, when you’re in an egging situation, and you’re getting in and out of your car, you don’t put your seatbelt on. Also, it was like 1995 in North Carolina. I mean, you didn’t wear your seatbelt that much anyway. We were dumb. And so. No one in the back was wearing seatbelts. Yeah, all the people in the back. So I just was basically just a free fall. Not free fall, but just a free throw. Like my head, boom. Right there on the part of your head that you would headbutt someone with, hits the windshield, completely shatters the windshield. I come back to the seat. I think Heather’s head hit the middle part and knocked the mirror off. Yeah. She comes back, and then the car sort of comes to a stop. And the first thing I did was laugh because I was in shock to some extent, but I was in shock that this had just happened and I wasn’t hurt. But then we heard the crying and wailing, and I looked over to my right and left. And like the people, the friends of mine who were in the back of the truck are now all in the field. We thought we had killed people. I thought I had tossed everybody out. But they had just jumped out in terror. But my ex-girlfriend at the time. She was like, I’m bleeding, I’m bleeding. I’m bleeding all over my face. And we’re like, we’re like, it’s egg. You have egg all over you. Right. Yeah. You’re not bleeding. Of course, one guy was bleeding because he had the worst injury. Shout out to Don. He, oh, okay. Yeah, Don and Brooks, they both were seated against the back of the cab. Oh, Brooks too. So they hit the, they hit the back of my back windows of my truck and broke those, and broke their face. But I think. They both have permanent face scars. Did Brooks have a permanent face scar? I believe so. I knew that Don had one. Yeah, Don definitely has a face scar from that. That’s, that’s my worst story. Look, you got that one outta me again. Yeah, and I was there, so. And it was so weird. Here’s another weird one. I think maybe, That was weird. I think that maybe this would be weird. We’re just so weird. If you were on a date. ‘Cause it would be weird to ask what’s the size of your shoes? What? Yeah, that is really weird. On like a first date, there’s like a lull in the conversation, and you’re like, what’s the size of your shoes? Like, just pick one, left or right. What’s the size? Well, mine are a little bit different. My left one’s a little bit bigger. Mine too. But it’s not worth getting a half size different. Mm-mm. Rhett, thank you for asking such a weird question. I wear a size 11. I wear a size 11. And for the longest time, you also wore an 11. We had the same size shoe. You wear a, you went up to a 12, didn’t you? You wear a 12? I have always been a 12, I’ve been a 12 for many, many years. I’ve been a 12 since high school. And I have 13s in Pumas. Okay. Consistently Puma’s a little bit tight on the 12. So I go 13 on Pumas. Hmm. I wear a, yeah, a 10 and a half to an 11 and a half. It depends on the brand. Okay. Well that was, I’m sorry it got a little weird there. Okay. Talking about like, our shoe sizes. I switched to creative mode. This is a creative question. Come on, let’s try this. Do you believe in Bigfoot? Absolutely not. No, no, no. Do you? No. No. I mean, I just, I’m just checking and seeing if you’ve changed your view. I’m cool with it. I’m cool with Bigfoot, and I could be wrong, but like, no. I mean, they’re discovering species all the time, but they’re like deep in a jungle that is not a Sasquatchian jungle. And they’re like small things, like an Amazonian rodent frog. Like a frog. Or, you know, there’s more bugs that we don’t know than we do. So I’m kind of making an argument for like a small Sasquatch in the Amazon, but that ain’t Sasquatch. Here’s, I definitely do not believe in Bigfoot. Right? There’s just absolutely no good reason to believe in Bigfoot. However, at this point, I don’t think I could be presented with evidence that would make me believe in Bigfoot. Do you know what I’m saying? Right. It’s so unbelievable at this point that if somebody was like, we have definitive proof of Bigfoot, Too late. I just, I don’t think, I don’t think you could do anything to change my mind. Which I’m just saying that that’s how made up my mind is about this particular thing. Yeah. Crying Wolf. Too many people have cried Bigfoot. There’s been too many TV shows about it where they haven’t produced a Bigfoot. Yeah. You think a TV show searching for Bigfoot, if they could find a Bigfoot, they would have, you know? You think they’d hold back on that? Maybe to get a couple more seasons out of it. But eventually you gotta show a little bit of the Bigfoot. You got, you got to. I haven’t even invested. But let’s talk about Yeti though. ‘Cause I had the classic conversation with a fellow. You believe this is different? Oh, this is very different. So like, I dropped, I was picking up Lando from his flag football practice, and they’re like, I got to know the other parents. we’re like, you know, we’re hitting it off. I’m telling you. I found a new friend group Rhett. I’m just telling you. It’s my son’s parents. They’re a good group of people. Your son’s parents? That would be you. Oh yeah, that’s me. My son’s friends’ parents. Oh okay. Yeah. I left the friend out. That makes more sense. Yeah, I do like hanging out with myself. Or you could be talking about your wife. You know, and there was a guy sitting there in a chair, in a folding chair, and he was like, and there was an open one. So I sat in his other chair. I don’t know why he brought two. It was only him, but I guess to share. And I was like, damn, this is a, this is a nice chair. I looked back at it, and it said Yeti on it. This is one of them Yeti chairs. Oh, okay. And then he’s like, well yeah, I, you know, I travel to so many different things, and I have to sit down. I wanted to splurge and give myself a nice chair. I was like, well, you know, Yeti’s where it’s at. And before you know it, we’re having that dad conversation about everything that you should get from, not a sponsor, Yeti. Okay. You know. I know about the coolers. Oh, they’ve got the cooler that goes on your back, and oh, it’s, you put ice in that thing, three days later it’s still ice. You know, this is, these are the conversations that you get in when you’re in full dad at a flag football game mode. So you’re just saying you believe in Yeti as a brand? I believe in Yeti as a brand. I think you can count on Yeti, but you’re gonna have to fork some dough to get that Yeti. You know what I’m saying? Do you own any Yeti products? I own a Yeti cooler. You do? Mm-hmm. Yeah. That I got for my solo trip. That’s a big deal. And I don’t think I’ve used it since then because I just don’t have many cooler needs. People, you know, it’s, we’re in an age where like products come out of the woodwork that are like super specialized, and then they’re advertised on Instagram, and it’s basically like, Speaking of. hey, you’re gonna pay out the nose for this, but we’ve done all this work to figure it out. Like, I’m getting a lot of Instagram ads for all types of bags. Well, have you seen Hover Glide? No. The bag that I’ve seen is one that is like, it looks, it’s got four zippers across a duffle bag. I don’t know what it’s called. Again, not a sponsor. And it’s like, so each compartment you can, you can organize things in different ways, and it’s like very, it’s very enthralling. Look at this. I think you’re gonna want this. And then there’s another bag I saw where it starts off and you’re like, you put a suit in it, and then you roll it over, and turn it into a duffle bag. I’ve seen that. Look at this. And what’s this guy doing? Floating backpack? It’s the HoverGlide. This is invented by a professor, like a biology professor from somewhere. So the backpack’s on your back, and as you move, like as you walk or jump or anything, the backpack is like on some sort of spring system. So I actually, so I already watched this whole video. Patented technology. It’s on a track that, this is the guy that invented it, and it has these bands, these elastic bands. It looks like the backpack is staying completely motionless as you’re moving up and down. Dr. Lawrence Rome, a biology professor at the University of Pennsylvania. He’s been working on this project for the past 15 years. Yeah, you know what it is though? Of course, this came out in 2018. It’s a steady cam dude. Haven’t you ever seen a steady cam operator? Yeah, but why? How come this hasn’t caught on? It’s like, It’s steady cam technology. This video came out in 2018. It’s 2022. Did the pandemic ruin all momentum that this floating backpack had? Because that could be me and you right there running across the city square, and our backpack’s just staying completely motionless as we go up and down. That could be me and you, man. We could be doing jumping jacks on the steps. Well, why does he keep doing jumping jacks? Because it’s a great way to illustrate how this works. Yeah, but I don’t do jumping jacks with a backpack on. Well they say it like reduces the load like about 80%. You know, I don’t know if it’s true, but I’m just saying if you’re into bags, I would think that you might have this one. If you started rolling with this backpack, this backpack that makes it look like. I’m not into bags. What? You just said you were getting advertised bags. Okay, so you’re sending the wrong messages to Instagram. I look at ’em, you’re right. I guess proof’s in the pudding. I freaking look at these ads. Listen. But I never buy the bags. The robots are smarter than you. Robots know you better than you know yourself. That’s true. The robots know you want a bag, and you might want this bag. I don’t know. I don’t know you man. Hey Rhett and Link. Y’all got time to talk to me? Oh yeah. We always got time to talk to you. Hey Dad. Thanks for joining us. Hey. Yeah, I don’t know about these tool boxes, but you know, you probably could, I don’t know whether you need to get one made out of a cooler or not. You can just go to Lowe’s and get a good toolbox. That’s what I, see, that’s what I was talking about a toolbox. He was listening to you. He was listening. He was listening. Is that why you called? What, I was told that you wanted to call in but. No, I didn’t wanna call in to get in between y’all’s toolboxes. I called in to try to help people to know about Dispatches from Myrtle Beach. That’s why I called. Oh, yep. Okay. Okay. I like this plan. I got a ulterior motive. I’m telling you. So you wanna pull everybody from this podcast into your podcast? And you know what? Hey, that’s fine by me. I’m just kind of conveniently involved in both of ’em. Yeah, and I’m in full support of you listening to both Ear Biscuits and Dispatches from Myrtle Beach. Well that, that’s what we wanna try to get people to do. Hope they keep, I know they gonna keep watching Ear Biscuits. We trying to get that many people to watch Dispatches from Myrtle Beach. ‘Cause we having a good time and swinging stuff around the world. And we might even might even teach you how to dance or something. Oh yeah. I’ve learned quite a bit listening. There’s a lot to learn. Yeah, but I do know looking at the data that there’s roughly, like, four times as many people listening to Ear Biscuits as to Dispatches from Myrtle Beach. Dad, how do you feel about that? Well, y’all been doing that a lot longer than we’ve been doing Dispatches, so. Okay. That’s true. Maybe in about six months. Just give us about six months, and we going to see if we can’t catch y’all, get pretty close anyway. Okay. So right now. We’re gonna work hard at this. So right now, if somebody listens to Ear Biscuits, there is, you know, if four people listen, one person says, I’m also gonna listen to Dispatches from Myrtle Beach. But in six months, you’re saying all four of ’em are gonna listen. All five of them. Oh, more people. Yeah. I don’t, you know, it’s, yeah, it is good for everybody, if you can tolerate a dirty joke or two. Just once in a while. Yeah, we have some people ask some funky questions. And I mean we’ve been taking a break, so it was like four weeks off for us. Have you missed making the show? Oh yeah. I like doing it. It’s fun. But I don’t know if I’m gonna let us take a break again like this or not. Uh oh. I told you Rhett. I told you. Rhett asked me, it’s like, are you, are you making your dad do this? I’m like, hey, he likes it. He likes it. Well, you seem to to be enjoying yourself. Oh, I enjoy, it’s fun. It’s kind of like, well people, some people know about SOS is Society of Shaggers. It’s a shagging thing that we have for about 10 days down here in the fall. And my shirts came in that said, do you know who I am? Yes. And that’s what I ask people a lot of times, and it’s really got to do with you and Link, Rhett. I said, do y’all, you know who Rhett and Link are? But this lady older than me walked up to me and read my shirt, and she says, I don’t know who you are. I said, and Nancy was with me, and Nancy said what? He’s got a famous son, and a man that works with him that’s famous, and they do stuff on YouTube and stuff. You’re the man that works. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well y’all work together, whatever. No, I understood. I’ll take that. But she, she didn’t know who good, she didn’t know what Good Mythical Morning was. But I did tell her about Dispatches from Myrtle Beach. Look that up Yes. on a podcast. So, you know, that’s just my job when I’m talking to people. Yeah. That’s guerilla marketing. Guerilla marketing. And dad, I mean, if dad takes his shirt off, it would definitely be like gorilla marketing, ’cause he is hairy. Hey, that’s like the people I talked to on the beach that day and asked about you two. And all I had on was my swimming trunk and a cold beer in my hand, by the way. But anyway. Dad, would you be willing to take your shirt off and have Dispatches from Myrtle Beach shaved into your body hair? No. Yeah, you gotta draw the line somewhere. I’m drawing no, no. What about your email address? Not that either. Ratherbshaggin53@aol.com. That would be tough That’s a lot of letters. It’s harder to read. Yeah. Yeah. You got any, got any emails you wanna share with us? We just had, we’ll, yeah, I got one. But if we gonna do a sign, we’ll just get another t-shirt made up with all that stuff on it. We ain’t doing that to my chest. Yeah, just get a t-shirt made before you get something shaved into your chest hair. Yeah. Just. But I have got a question that Randy Johnson sent in to us. The pitcher? Well now, you know, it don’t say that. But that, I know who, I remember that Randy Johnson, that was about six foot, about as tall as you probably. I think he was taller than me. Yeah. Yeah. He was about 6’10” or 6’11” and could throw heat. He could throw heat. I guess he’s a fan of the show. Yeah, might be. If you guys make too much of a connection over baseball, then you’re gonna have to have your own baseball podcast. Okay. And Rhett, you going with all the hair you got, you gonna like this. Okay. It says, what do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his teeth. A smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his teeth. I know it. I figured it out. I know it. Okay. Has it got the word centurion in it? Well, you can try. Try. Just give it a shot. What do you call a Roman soldier smiling with hair in between his teeth? He’s a hair or something. Made a movie about it. Okay. Yep. Okay. So it’s got something to do with Gladiator. Oh, Gladiator. That’s it. There you go. There you go. Yeah. And that was it. So sometimes I give a good hint Rhett, once in a while. But why did you say with someone as much hair as Rhett, he would like it? ‘Cause hey, because you know, if he was like that Roman soldier, he wouldn’t know if it was his hair or hers that was between his teeth. Okay. Well, a lot of Dispatches from Myrtle Beach is the struggle and discovery of punch lines. I enjoy this. You want me to join? No. We gotta keep the fun between us. This is a father son thing. Yeah, it’s a bonding thing. I don’t need to be there, just every once in a while. You know, like right now. Yeah, you can join us, you know, every once a quarter or something, Rhett. Until we get enough of the audience to move over, I think we’re just gonna have to keep getting you to join this podcast. Wow Dad. So, I mean, I don’t want you to share any more of the jokes. You gotta keep your best stuff for Dispatches. Oh, I got some stuff. I got some stuff for starting this coming week. Boy, I mean, I’ve been recognized at about six or seven places. He always, you know, he always tells the story of getting recognized. Yeah. Well, no, I didn’t tell the story in half of these places. They just recognize me. Oh yeah. It’s happening. All right, well save it, save it for our recording session. Again, Dispatches from Myrtle Beach comes out this coming Thursday. And yeah, then we’re back every Thursday. But Dad, can you talk directly to Ear Biscuits listeners. Again, three outta four have not given it a chance yet. So just can you speak directly to them? Give ’em your wholehearted pitch. Well all you Ear Biscuits fans, I would really like for y’all to start watching Dispatches from Myrtle Beach because. Well, don’t say watch, ’cause it’s only audio. I mean listen to everything on Dispatches from Myrtle Beach because you might learn some words that you ain’t never heard before if you just come and just wanna, just listen to me talk, and just see what you learn about it. So, and listen, we have a good time, and I got an email address, ratherbshaggin53@aol.com, and you people on Ear Biscuits can send us, send me some questions, and I’ll do my best to answer ’em, and see what we can do with that. So just come on and swing. I always like to tell people we swinging around in this show, like while I’m swinging when I’m dancing. So just come on and have a good time from Ear Biscuits to Dispatches From Myrtle Beach. Ratherbshaggin, the letter B, no G on shagging, the numbers 5 3 @aol.com. And it’s not much of a time commitment, right? I mean, you guys keep it under, you keep it under 40 minutes, right? Oh, it’s 30 minutes every episode. 30 minutes. Yeah, you can add it to your life. It will make you happy. I tell you, Dad, you make me happy every single week. Well it’s good. I’ve missed it. It was good to see both of y’all. I’m telling you. I get to see you, you know, with what we do, and I reckon it’d be hard for me to say you knOw, I’ll be glad to be seeing y’all down in Austin, Texas, and then. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. We’re looking forward to that. We’re gonna have a good time at MythiCon. I’m telling you. So we’ve done a little stuff with that too. So looking forward to that. And us, you know, getting to bond a little bit and have a good time. Yep. And get more listeners. All right, Dad, that was a very effective plug. If that doesn’t do it, I don’t know what will. Well. No notes. No notes. I try to do the best I can do to do what we enjoy doing. So if I need to, I’m gonna let y’all get back to Ear Biscuits and talk about toolboxes or something. Yeah, yeah. We’ll pick up where we left off. All right, Dad, I’ll see you soon for our next recording. Okay. All right. Love both of y’all. Love you too. Bye. Bye. Isn’t he the greatest? He is. He’s just so. He’s a natural. He’s so, he’s just fallen right into it, you know? He’s completely embraced it. Yeah. He’s found a new calling. He hasn’t quit his day job yet, you know. Well, maybe He’s still painting. If he could get enough listeners. Still painting. You can do that. We’ll get there. I do have a question for you. Is it weird? This one’s, it’s under the weird category, but to me it’s more interesting than weird. If you were offered the position of mayor of your city, would you take it? This reads. Mayor of Los Angeles or Burbank? Mayor of Burbank? Sure. Being a politician in any, that just seems like a nightmare to me. You know, it’s like, I respect people who are, who can, who do it, and especially if they keep their integrity intact, you know? But like being in a position where you’ve got to please the people, you know, it’s like we have fans that we have to, we, you know, if they’re not happy, this arrangement isn’t working. But at the same time, it’s not 100% of our job to make people happy. You know? It is a big part of it, but you know what I’m saying? Like, something about it’s a, like being a politician is like a, if you’re doing it right, it’s a complete act of service. And that’s just, I mean, I guess I’m too selfish for that. I think very, I mean, maybe I’m being too cynical, but I don’t think, we don’t have to have these headphones on anymore. Oh, let’s take these off. Look at us. Look at us. I don’t think. Are we good to just keep going? Okay. I don’t think most people get into politics for selfless reasons. Right? Mm-hmm. Even, I mean, you can. As a service. There can even be a selfishness in being selfless. You know? It’s like, if you find joy in being selfless, isn’t that selfish? Like Mother Teresa, you know, wanted to get up and help people because every morning, because she found fulfillment in that. Yeah, if you wanna get to the root of it, I would say that yeah, if you follow, if you actually are following your, you’re making decisions for your own benefit and for your own wellbeing, most often you will do good things to other people. Right? Like most people will end up, oh, I’m doing good because it makes me feel good. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. No. But I guess what I’m saying is, this is an interesting question because I’ve heard somebody say relatively recently actually, that, you know, we spend a lot of time thinking about national elections, and we, you know, everybody, like, if you’re gonna vote, you vote for the presidential election. Right. And you’ll vote for some other things. Right. But actually, to affect cha, now, first of all, we believe in that. Vote for the national elections. Go to votelikeabeast.com, get registered to vote, whatever. That is, we believe in that. But really, you have a lot more power in your vote at a local level, right? Right. And I’m a bit cynical when it comes to politicians in general. And I think many of us are. Right? Because you think about it, you got, you know, sort of the, you’ve got the Senate, right? Just a hundred people. And that’s a pretty impressive position to make it in politics. Like if you make it to the Senate, like that’s a big deal. Yeah. House of Representatives, little bit easier. Right. And I think it’s reflected in the nature. The vibe. There’s some people in the House that are just absolute nuts. I mean, there’s people in the Senate who are nuts too, but there’s some people in the House that are just like, how does this person become a national politician, a representative? And then you go even lower than that, and you get into like state legislators. Yeah. It can get pretty freewheeling. The people who make a series of life decisions, where they find themselves in a position to run for local office, you know, this isn’t necessarily the best and the brightest. I mean, I’m not, I’m just saying. I’m just saying that. But those elections, that those people are actually really, really important. So when it comes to the mayor of your town, I guess it’s one thing to say like Mayor of Los Angeles or Burbank, but like just a mayor of your average town, Like that’s a really important, I think it’s a really important position. You know what I’m saying? Yeah. I’m a little too intimidated to sign up for that, even in a small town. Seems like, I don’t know. I couldn’t see you doing it either. Well I mean, I jokingly talk about political campaigns all the time, because I’m, I have just enough blind confidence to get to a place where I feel like I’ve got something to say and could motivate somebody. And maybe I could believe in something enough where I felt like, you know, political will was the most important part of it. But I’m never gonna allow myself to do that. Do you have a recommendation? I do. I think by the time you hear this, you will have seen Justin Long as a guest on Good Mythical Morning. Yes. And he was there to promote his movie Barbarian. It’s a scary movie. A horror movie that I saw last night. Yeah, let me tell you. It was so good. Oh, it’s so scary, and it’s funny, and it’s creative the way that it was done. It was just kind of innovative and kind of keeps you on the edge of your seat. And Justin Long is great in it. He’s just, he’s really funny. He just plays a complete a-hole. But he plays such a good a-hole, and I just highly recommend it if you’re into horror movies. When he came on the show, when he first met us, he looked at you, and he said you look like one of the henchmen from Superman 2. And he. And what was the guy’s name? Well, he went on to say, you know who you look like? It was Zod’s henchman. He’s like, it’s almost uncanny. It’s almost uncanny. And then we pulled up, it was not Zod, it was this guy, Non. Non. Non just grunted. Non from Superman movie. And it was not a compliment. Justin Long called you Non. But, and I will say there is a resemblance. Henchman to Zod. Yeah. The real guy’s name is Jack O’Hallaran. Halloran. That sounds like witness protection. Oh, he had a lot of movies. Yeah, he’s quite a character actor. Look at him. I do have a passing resemblance, like he could be my brother, but because he went on to say you look like him, but I mean you’re more, you’re more handsome. ‘Cause once we like brought up a picture of him, you’re like a handsome version of him. Handsome version of Non. I didn’t hold it against him. He’s returning the favor. But see the Barbarian. He was great in that movie. We’ll speak at you next week. Remember to call us, give us your responses, and we’ll play him at the end. 1-88, Earpod1. Earpod1. Hashtag Ear Biscuits. Hey, Rhett and Link. Probably already a little late to this one, but I just wanted let you guys know that I was 25 when I learned that zippers lock. I didn’t know this. If you put them all the way down, they lock, and you can’t pull open your pants. Have a mythical day. Hey Rhett and Link, I just wanted to say that I listen to almost every podcast, and it’s crazy to see how the podcasts have grown. But I recently, oh, not so recently, went to therapy because both of you proved to me that nothing has to be wrong with you to go to therapy. And little did I realize that throughout therapy, the anxiety and stress were going away. And listening to your podcast and growing with you felt amazing. And I’m so proud to say that my therapist even says that I graduated from therapy. Now it felt like I was kind of going through a breakup with my therapist, but it was amazing. And I just have to thank you two for being there along the side with me. And I guess you’re my new thing. You’re my new therapy. Woo-wee! Let me tell you something Rhett. You wrote a hell of a blues tune there. Kill a man. I’m telling you what. My name’s Hunter. I’m out in Michigan. I just gotta tell you what, man. I’m proud of you. This album is fricking awesome. Okay, so keep doing it. Put out another one. Get Link on that, Matt. Love you guys. To watch more Ear Biscuits, click on the playlist on the right. To watch the previous episode of Ear Biscuits, click on the playlist to the left. And don’t forget to click on the circular icon to subscribe. If you prefer to listen to this podcast, it’s available on all your favorite podcast platforms. Thanks for being your mythical best.