Welcome to “Ear Biscuits”, the podcast, where two lifelong friends, talk about life for a long time. I’m Rhett. What just happened? Something in your throat? I’m battling, I’m fighting off, it’s not “COVID”, just so, you know, there’s a very mild cold that’s going through my household and I’m, like, in day three of fighting it. And this is as bad as it’s got. And it’s like, every once in a while, just a slight scratch in my throat. Well, I don’t want to get it, dude, because- It already happened in your family, is what Christy told me. ‘Cause Christy and I have a romantic getaway this weekend and I don’t want be hacking and thinking about the fact that you gave me something. So, don’t do this. Even if, in its worst, all it got to for Shepherd, was like a sore throat for a day and then, it went away. And I’m tougher than he is. And so, the worse that it’s gotten for me, is this slight impact in my speech. So, as long as you can still, if your voice cracks a little bit when you’re making love to your wife, I think, that’s totally acceptable. It kicked . Yeah, it’s just, kind of, part of the reckless abandon of the weekend. One day, Shepherd’s gonna be stronger than you and it’s gonna happen a lot quicker than you think. And I’m Link. This week at “The Round Table of Dim Lighting”, we’re talking about your most disturbing slash spooky experiences, because that’s the prompt that we put out when we tweeted, “We want to hear about your most disturbing slash spooky experiences. Give us a call and share your story at 1-888-EARPOD1.” And here, we are read- not reading, we’re listening to these. And you can, also, use “#EarBiscuits” and we will read the stuff that you send. So- One of the more disturbing things that has happened to me in the past five minutes, is seeing you sit down with a “Starbuck”, just so you know, when you have one serving of a “Starbucks” thing is a “Starbuck”. Okay. Okay? All right. So, you have a “Starbuck” and the name on it is Blake, which is just, so- Matt’s my name. I mean, it’s just amazing. What, now, what, did you say “Link”? I said, “Link”. I mean, this is such a trope. But it’s amazing to me. Link, Blake. Blake. Blink. Blake. I mean, it doesn’t really matter. I was in the drive-through. Oh! It wasn’t like they- Oh, yeah, yeah, drive-through, they don’t care. But they’re gonna call out Blake, you would never go to that. I would never go to that, Yes, I would. I’m going to, right now- Well, if they said Blake, you’d go up and you’d be like, “Link? Oh, I guess, Blake, is there a Blake here?” Because Lily works at a “Starbucks”, now, I’m totally on the employees’ side of this, like, I’m not gonna- You can’t help it. I’m not gonna criticize it and my feelings aren’t hurt. I think, the thing that’s more disturbing than you being called Blake, is the fact that you have a “Starbuck”, like, you’re so routine-oriented that anytime anybody around here is like, “Hey, we’re getting ‘Starbucks’, you’re like, “No, thanks.” Like- Yeah. So, what series of events, led you to going to “Starbucks” and going through the drive-through and getting a coffee for Blake? You know what, Rhett? How did this happen? I feel very seen right now, thank you. I’ve never seen you with one of these, except for like, a set on something we’re working on. I passed by the “Starbucks” and there’s just line going to that drive-through and I just always look at it with disdain, ’cause it’s clogging up my exit artery to get to work. And I’m never getting in that line. So, for the first time ever, today, I got in that line. I hit snooze. You know, we had a dinner last night? I was there. Gosh! I was telling you, I ate too much. Talk about a horror story, disturbing and spooky experience, just too much decadent sauciness. You’re the only one, who took home a doggy bag. Did you see? First of all- That’s true. This place served food, at least, your food and my food were served in a dog bowl. Yeah, it was like- Like, if you are gonna get a bowl, for, like, a large dog, like, we’re talking German Shepherd and up, that was what we were served in. Yeah. And mine, I mean, you know who I am, I saw “Lobster Risotto” on the menu and I was like, “Check please,” or whatever, “Yes, please.” And I love the fact that you and Christy play this game where it’s like, you know what, like, what- She knew what I was gonna do. She always knows what you’re gonna order, because- And she did, she almost got it. And it had one pound of lobster in it. I ate every damn bit of it. I got this shrimp- Just like a dog. “Shrimp Alfredo Penne Pasta”, it was amazing. But yeah, I got to a point where I was just eating the shrimps. Yeah, so much pasta left- But we had so many appetizers. What I’m saying, was I felt, kind of, bad going to sleep and then, I, like, felt bad when I woke up. It was a gut hangover. Yeah. And so, I just kept hitting snooze. I did not want to try to like, I didn’t want my body to go upright. And so, that set me on a path of like, being, kind of, in a tizzy. ‘ Cause I’m up against dropping Lando off at a specific time. I can’t, actually, be late for that, ’cause he can’t stand it if I drop him off late. Cool. So, then, I had made my smoothie at the last second and I did decide to eat my smoothie, even though, no part of me wanted to. Was it a rush smoothie? It was a rush and I- So, you didn’t eat it with a spoon? I made a coffee at the same time. I still ate it with a spoon. So, you ate a smoothie- I was in a real hurry. In a rush with a spoon. Yeah, yeah. I’m really glad, I wasn’t there for that. It just makes me feel, like, there’s still some sanity in my life. You know, how gra- That I eat that smoothie- You do know how gravity and throats work, right? It’s like liquids, throats and gravity, a nice project by Rhett McLaughlin. So, Link will know how to drink a smoothie. Yeah, it does say a lot, like, as in a hurry as I was, I was still gonna do that. But I’d made my coffee in parallel as opposed to what I normally do, which is eat my smoothie out of my coffee mug after I’ve finished my coffee an hour earlier. Really? Yeah, I drink my coffee, right when I get up and then, I go get ready and then, I come back down and I make my smoothie and I pour it in my coffee cup. Your whole smoothie fits in your coffee cup? No, I have to pour it twice. Hmm. So, there’s less- Is that so, you have less to clean up? Yes. You want your smoothie to taste a little coffee-esque? No, there’s less to clean up. I had to make my coffee in parallel this morning with my smoothie that went into a cup and then, I just ran out of the door and I forgot my coffee. Because I, usually, have drunk my coffee earlier. I never take a coffee in the car. Okay, what’s the over-under on you having your wallet, right now? I’m gonna say, that there is a 75% chance, you do not have your- I have my wallet. You do have your wallet? How did that happen? Because when we drove home last night, I took it out of my pocket and I put it in the console of my car. Oh, so, it was in your car! I keep my wallet in my car, yes. That’s where I keep it. So, whenever we go somewhere in your car, that’s why I never have my wallet. So, if somebody steals your car, they can, also, steal your identity. Just good thing to note. Yep and I- They get a little two-for-one. And I, usually, leave my keys in my car, too. Right. So, it’s like, I just make it easy. They can, also, get in your house. It’s just like, , yeah. They can just assume your life. And there’s a mask of me in the glove box. There’s like, a very realistic mask of my face. But you’re gonna have to drink that smoothie, every morning with a spoon. With a spoon. Eat it with a spoon, sorry. Right, like that. As long as you do that, my family will not notice the difference. Like, kill me, put on my mask, just don’t ever think about drinking a smoothie without a spoon. And you know what? You’ll be living the life, man. ‘Cause I have quite a life. I haven’t been able to calibrate my life, since, I’m trying, once again, with the thing I tried last year, where I’m eating in a restricted window from, like, noon to 8:00 PM, right? And so, not eating in the morning, means I’m not getting my smoothie in the morning. And I believe, that the smoothie had a bunch of nutrients that, now, I’m, probably, not getting from other meals. Yeah, that’s gotta become your launch, or your dinner. And so, I’m a little bit torn. I’m trying- That’s why I forced myself to eat the smoothie this morning. Plus, there’s, like, I put so much flaxseed in that thing. It’s the the only thing that, like, I count on that to keep me regular. I don’t want to go there, but. Yeah, I don’t know, I haven’t straightened it out yet. You’re missing out, dude. Well, I need to get some of that. I had some of that green stuff. We don’t have a sponsor, like, everyone is sponsored by “Athletic Greens”, maybe, we should be. But I use something else, other than “Athletic Greens”, that is, also, not a sponsor. But I ran out of it. But it’s, essentially, like powder that I think, just makes you feel like a super person. But I ran out of that, so, maybe, that’s why I got a little scratchy throat. You talking about “Ka’Chava”? No, I’m talking about- That’s what I use. Green- Not a sponsor. Similar stuff. They should be a sponsor. Yeah, we need to get one of these sponsors, one of these green sponsors. And I’ll start doing it, again. I want to get into a voicemail. Do you? Yeah. All right. Before you play it, I think, we need to take the coast-to-coast approach, here. Okay. Which is, you don’t- like the “Reddit” approach, which I’m not a huge fan of “Reddit”, but the thing I do like about “Reddit”, is when people tell a story, you’re not, really, supposed to question whether or not they’re lying. Yeah, yeah. So, we’re- What’s the point of that? We’re choosing to believe that all these things happened to you and we’re not gonna try to poke hose into- hose, we’re not gonna poke hose or holes into your story. Yeah. What’s a hole in hose called? A ho-hole. A ho-hole? It’s for the dirt to go through. You know, like, I don’t know, I’ll play it. You know, like, a rip in . That’s all I’m talking about, here. Hey, Rhett and Link. So, the creepiest thing that ever happened to me, I lived in a haunted house when I was in high school and I would see this little girl, pretty much, all the time. And a bunch of my family members saw her, my friends saw her. But the creepiest thing that happened, is we were outside, watching a tornado, and I came back inside, I looked down the hall and this girl is walking down the hall and she’s, probably, three foot, three-and-a-half-foot tall. And as she gets closer, I realize that she doesn’t have a face and she floats up to me and floats right through me and disappeared. And that’s, probably, the creepiest thing that I’ve ever experienced. Man, I got a little bit, my cackles stood up. What is that when it happens? Your cockles. Cockles? No, my cockle’s fine. I think, it’s cockles. My cockle did not respond to that story, my cackles. Well, I mean, the fact that halfway through this story, there’s a tornado in it and the story’s not even about the tornado. Yeah, yeah. It’s like, watching the tornado- “Yeah, we got this haunted house with a little woman in it, turns out be faceless, we were outside watching a tornado once,” like, “Hey, I feel you.” I feel that, like, if a tornado was coming up, I think, I would really wanna watch it. But, ah! And then, just as long as I know where I’m gonna run- If you’ve got a basement of sorts. But then you come back inside, this is what we talked about last week, man. Man. You got the little woman, or the girl, because- This is a common story, a faceless little girl. This is a common thing where people see a person of a certain type, right? Even down there at the hotel in Chester, Arkansas that our good friends, Lance and Lacey run, there’s a story of a guy, who died there and there’s like, I don’t know, all the details, but multiple people will see that guy, right? And so, of course, there’s the- Multiple people thing that’s- Well, there’s a power of suggestibility, a power of suggestion. It’s like, “Okay, if I’m gonna see some,” but, again, this happens so often, I choose to believe that people are seeing, they are seeing something that is coming across to them, like, they’re seeing a little girl without a face in this sense. Floating through him? What would you do? I mean, I don’t think, I could stand there and let a ghost fly through me. Because right before she floats through me, she’s floating right up to me! That’s a flee situation. I mean, or play dead or something. I’ve never had any experience like this. But- Do you want to? I don’t know, what I would do. Do you want to have one? No, no. Well, to me, I’m of two minds. One is, of course, I don’t want to be scared. I, kind of, do, actually. But it’s more, seeing that would be a super cool thing. And it would change my worldview, ’cause my worldview, right now, is that like, “Something must be going on, but I just really doubt that it is ghosts or whatever.” I heard somebody talking about that these paranormal things are related to echoes and time. We don’t understand everything, there is about the nature of time and space, right? Okay. And we’ve got like every- I know, I don’t. And I mean, I’ve read some popular science books, where they try to explain it to people like me, who are not studied. But the idea of, essentially, everything that’s ever happened, is always happening. So, you’re, basically, like, at times, you’re running into other things that have happened in that space. So, it isn’t, necessarily, like this little girl died, her soul remained around and she’s haunting the house. I mean, maybe. Again, I don’t know, But what would you do in that scenario? Now, I think, it is important to know that, like, they felt like she was there. This wasn’t the first experience. A tornado is coming, by the way. Well, I just can’t, at a certain point you’re like, “Yeah, there’s a girl here, we live with her, she just floated through me, doesn’t have a face.” At a certain point, you just, kind of, like, have to live with it, I guess. But I just don’t think- Well, has anybody ever been beat up by a ghost? I would run. But why? Has anybody ever been killed by a ghost? I don’t know. Okay, okay. Brian said, we’ve got a story, okay. Oh gosh! We got someone who died? Which number? Number 20. Oh, number 20? All right. Well, not died, but I mean, this- Well, all right, let’s listen to number 20, then. Hi, my name is Vivie and I’m a big fan. So, this, actually, happened to my mom, but me and my dad were there to witness it. We were moving out of this totally creepy house. We didn’t even last there six months, it was so creepy. One of these creepy things we would hear, were these footsteps that would just run across the hallway upstairs. It was just like these noises. And at the time, we just convinced ourselves that it was our cat, I think, we were in denial. We, really, wanted to believe it was just a cat. Anyway, we were moving out. Me and my dad left, we came back, my mom was still at the old house and when we came back, we hear this loud, toe-curling scream come from upstairs. Me and my dad freak out, we run upstairs where we find my mom, lying on the ground, crying and praying. We ask her what the heck happened? She tells us that she walked into my bedroom, where she just instantly felt this, like, negative energy. She felt like, she was just frozen, she couldn’t move. She, suddenly, felt like this heavy feeling in her chest, she couldn’t breathe. She tried to pray and when she tried to pray, she felt something, like, grab her and pull her down and just scratch her whole body. She looked up and she saw these cracks, starting to form in the ceiling. And that really freaked me out, ’cause I told my mom, like, “I used to see these cracks form in the ceiling.” I didn’t mention it before, because I was a teenager, so, I assumed that they would assume the worst if I just, “Oh, there’s cracks forming in my ceiling.” Whatever. So, anyway, we were like, “We need to get out of here,” like, we’re just done, like, “Let’s just go.” I’m pretty sure, we forgot some stuff. As we were leaving and walking out the door, we hear these footsteps upstairs, go . So, yeah, totally, wasn’t the cat. As we were in the car, my mom pulled up her pants and she had these unexplained scratch marks, going down her legs. So, yeah, that’s our scary story. Hmm. Good gracious. They do attack and they, really, mess up your drywall. Yeah, man. That’s why you gotta have them, popcorn ceilings in your haunted house to cover up for the cracks. Okay, I have a physical reaction when I hear these stories. I get, like, my, look. I go into complete denial. I don’t even wanna- The hair stands up on my, like- I’m not engaging. The hair stands up on my arms. It’s so freaky, man. Your cockles. You know what? I believe them. They don’t seem, just, she seems so level-headed, you know? Yeah, man, I mean- If she was my doctor, I would take the prescriptions, you know? I would trust this voice. Too many people, who I trust, have had experiences that they can’t explain that I’m sure, somebody smarter than me, could explain why it was just their mind playing tricks on them. But I just- Well, you know what? I can’t, Rhett. But I just don’t think, that’s an adequate explanation. I think, there’s something that we don’t understand that’s happening. I mean- Yeah. So, but what would you do? Because I’ve never lived in a haunted house, I’ve never had an experience like this, but there’s been a few times, when I’ve been alone in my own home and I think, maybe, a couple of times, when I’ve been in, like, a house alone that wasn’t my own home and that same feeling that I just got when she was telling that story, it’ll happen to me and I’ll start freaking myself out. But it comes from within. It’s all from anticipation and me, imagining what might happen. But I’ve never experienced anything. I don’t know, what I would do. Some people, just, are are like, “Yeah, we have this particular presence in our house and it’s weird and it’s something, we talk about, but we don’t feel like we should leave.” I’d leave this situation. This is a little bit different. When the family’s united and the mama’s been scratched- When mama gets scratched, you don’t look back. Don’t look back. Talk about horror scenarios, I can’t think of few that are worse than if you don’t vote. And then, things that you wish didn’t happen, start happening- That’s a good segue. To your local, state and national government. Right. I just wanna remind you, these midterm elections are important. Sometimes, the things that you care about, that affect you on a local level, it just comes down to thousands, if not hundreds of votes. So, we want to, just, clarify that you have power as an American, I’m assuming, you’re an- I’m speaking to the Americans, right now, ’cause we have midterm elections. And we want you to go to the website that we have created, “votelikeabeast.com”, so, that you can get in touch with the issues and where you stand on ’em. Get in touch with yourself and the issues and then, vote and the people. And we’ve made it very easy for you to check your voting status. And for some states, I think, you can register right up until election day. Some states, there’s a deadline, depends on where you’re at. But you can check that, based on where you’re- We got your back, “votelikeabeast.com”. Don’t vote how we want you to vote, but vote how you wanna vote and vote. Let’s go to this one. Hey, Rhett and Link. So, I had a spooky encounter when I was in college. There was the music and arts building in my college, had a small reputation of being haunted and I was a bit of an insomniac. So, I did all my practicing in the middle of the night. So, one, like, random, like, Thursday night, I went to practice at around 2:00 AM and when I went up to the top floor where all those practice rooms are for everyone to practice, expecting it to be empty, I heard someone practicing piano and I thought, “Okay, I’ve got a fellow friend insomniac, here.” But I got a little curious after I practiced for a bit and they were still going. So, I went over to see who it was and there was nobody in the room. And I sprinted out of the building and then, got over it and practiced there every night for the rest of my college career. But it was still very terrifying. So, did not love that. Sprinted out of the building. Yes, right answer. Coming back every other time you wanted to practice, strange- But why- Application. Why does that have to be the answer? The only thing this ghost did, was play piano. That’s an olive branch. Okay. That’s the ghost saying, “I love music, too-” What was that? Did you hear that? What was that noise? I think- farty? Think, that’s my cat. What? I don’t believe, you talking about my stomach growing really loudly, right now? Yeah. I don’t think, this mic picked up on it. Maybe, it did, I don’t know. It’s pretty loud. Is that meal, we ate last night, is that “Risotto”, trying to find his way? Riso-go. I don’t know. Because, first of all, totally get being scared. I would be scared. I’m not saying, that I would do this. But if there were a ghost that was playing the piano in a room and you knew, that this piano was being played, it would be like- What about your phone? Yeah. That’s what you would want. I think, they know that. I think, they know, I think, the ghost protocol is to not- isn’t that like a “Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol”? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think, the ghost protocol, is to not let iPhones catch you. They know that. Android? That’s like the orientation, like, the one, ghost orientation, is like, “People bring out the phones, you stop playing the piano.” Oh. Okay. But I don’t know, like, what were they trying to do? What were they trying to prove, or trying to say? Again, I’m trying not to pick it apart, like, it makes me feel better to pick it apart. But we’ve said, we’re not gonna do that. So, now, I don’t have anything to say. I’m just gonna play another one. Hi, I’m here to tell you my spooky story. This is also a completely true story. Basically, the summer before seventh grade, my friends and I, there were four of us, we decided to do a “Ouija” board at her grandmother’s house. Oh! So, there were four of us in the room, but, only, three of us went to the “Ouija” board. The fourth girl decided to just text her mom and she was like, “Oh, they’re gonna do ‘Ouija’ board.” And she goes, “Oh, don’t do it. When I did it with my friends, we were about your age and it was a horrible idea, like, we had to get a priest to help us out.” And we’re like, “Okay, that’s terrifying, but whatever, we still gonna do it.” So, we put our hands on it and it all starts moving and we’re like, “What the heck? What’s going on?” And it gives us these random numbers and maybe, a few letters. So, we ask her to look it up, ’cause she was on her phone, anyways and we get a highway code in Portland and we’re like, “Okay, that is just random, whatever, it doesn’t matter.” But then, she tells her mom that and her mom goes, “My friend, who we were trying to contact, died in a car crash on a highway in Portland, or it died on a car crash in Portland.” And we’re like, “Okay, that’s freaky, like, what?” So, later, we get 9, 2, 3, the numbers and we’re like, “Okay, what does that mean?” Like, we’re thinking, 9, 2, 3, maybe, that was the license plate, you know, blah blah, blah. She goes, “My friend died on September 23rd.” And now, we’re, like, freaking out. We’re like, “This is crazy.” But we don’t get anything after that. So, this is August, right now, we’re like, “We need a lookout for September 23rd, see if anything happens, something is going on.” And the friend, who hosted it, on that day, September 23rd, finds four dead birds in her backyard. And there were four people in the room. It’s crazy. So, that’s it. That’s my spooky story. Hope, you enjoy. If this were a movie, I wouldn’t have ended there. They would’ve figured out a way to, like, write the rest of the movie. Four dead birds does not make an ending? An ending does not make, is what you’re trying to say. Yes. But see, how do I not just say things like, “Well, ‘Ouija’ board’s just like psychics.” It’s like, first of all it’s cooperation of people and then, it’s just numbers, which, like, just finding some random stuff and then, making meaning out of it. Making connections. But I’m not gonna go there. It’s impossible not to. Again, I want to go there, as well. I think, one of the ironic things- I didn’t go there. Is that, we did not, I just think, it’s an interesting tidbit. When we were Christians and believed vehemently in the supernatural and believed that there was a war going. No, we weren’t charismatic. You were very reformed, I was pretty reformed. And in that tradition, there’s not a lot of talk of demons and angels and stuff. There’s this belief that they exist, but they’re not very active. So, we tend to have an almost naturalistic view of the supernatural world, even within the Christian tradition. It’s, kind of, fascinating. And so, any of this “Ouija” board , I, just, was like, “This is just people making connections. I don’t think, that the devil is wasting his time with ‘Ouija’ boards. It just feels like a dumb distraction,” is what I thought as a Christian. It’s, actually, post-faith, when I’m in this place where I’m like, “Listen, I realize, now, how little- I just had this very narrow slice of my interpretation of reality.” And, now, I’m just like, “There’s so many things that I don’t understand.” And so, I, actually, have more of an openness to there being some legitimacy to these people’s experiences. But still, the skeptic in me, goes to this place of what you’re saying, which is you’re gonna get some numbers, everybody’s moving it. It’s not like, a “Ouija” board doesn’t work by you placing the little glass on it and then, everybody stands back and it moves on its own. Like, can a ghost do that, too, or can a demon do that? Mm-hm . So, there’s always these little things that, like, “Oh, well, people are moving it around.” I think, it would’ve, like, if I found out that my kids were at a slumber party and they were, like, doing this, a “Ouija” board, I mean, I think, my first thing would be like, “Oh, was it scary, was it fun?” I would interact with it like a game, like, the board game that it sold as, you know? Yeah, it’s in “Walmart”, right? Yeah, probably, in “Walmart”. But going back to, like, our worldview and how it impacted things and it just, kind of, like, we, just, weren’t interested in it. I think, it’s because we, actually, did believe that we had, I’m gonna say, experiences, maybe, interactions with Satan or his minions, his demons- Temptations or whatever. Just talking about, like, temptation, like, believing lies. There was a lot of language and teaching around associating things like that with an interaction with the dark side, with, like, with Satan, right? So, it’s, “Okay, I’m not gonna give in to the power of Satan, but he’s around.” So, it’s, kind of, like, I live in a- yes, Satan can be here, but I have this belief that through Jesus, I have power over Satan and not in like, a exorcist, or a vampire with a cross, kind of, way. That’s not how we thought about it. We didn’t think about it that way, but we thought about it in a very cerebral, logical, kind of, way that’s like, I didn’t spend too much time, thinking about Satan, but if you press me, I would say, “Yeah, like, I’m supposed to not listen to Satan, not give in to temptation and I can be delivered from evil by God.” Right? So, I think, this level of proximity that we believed in, it’s like, “Okay, this experience makes sense, but it’s also, kind of, safe and it doesn’t have this, like, Satan’s never gonna, or his demons aren’t gonna scratch me, or send some ghost after me or something. Well, and I was told many times that “Hey, you don’t need to worry about demons, like, you don’t need to worry about being possessed, because a demon can’t come into you, because of the holy spirits inside of you, already.” So, that was comforting. But- Because I’d think, because of that it was like, “Okay, I’m not really interested in ‘Ouija’ boards, because I know, how Satan, or whoever his minions are, interact with me in my everyday life. And it’s just something that I’ve been able to come to grips with and not be afraid of and not dwell on, but, also, not seek out,” like, that’s the thing, is that you don’t wanna start seeking this out. Because then, you’re flirting with it, like demonic activity, as something that could be fun. It’s the same reason that we were too old for “Harry Potter”. But yeah, we were on the fringes of that movement that was like, “If we were younger, our parents wouldn’t have allowed us to read ‘Harry Potter’.” Because of the sorcery. And I think, my view was always, I think, that if Satan existed and at the time, I, definitely, believed that he did, that he was super crafty and super smart. So, it would be like- Right. What’s more strategic? And I would say, it’s more strategic for Satan to have some sort of subtle influence over this professor that I’m going to this class and he is causing me to doubt my worldview, he’s causing me to doubt the truth of Christianity, the legitimacy of the resurrection or whatever, like, this religion professor is saying these things that are challenging my worldview. That guy is under the influence of Satan. And Satan is gonna be much more impactful in the world at large if he’s working through academia. And so, you end up developing this view that the principalities and the powers of Satan and his minions, are not in the “Ouija” board that you can get off of the shelf in “Walmart”, they’re in the classroom. Yep. They’re in the places that we’re debating and defining culture. Yeah, changing with the times. Right. And according to the old Rhett, the way that I changed, and this is very much the outspoken view of many people who talk about me and you and from the Christian world, is that we fell to the vices of Satan that we are, were and still are under demonic influences and that’s what’s guiding us at this point. Oh, wow! Yeah! Well, of course, what else- That’s the scariest story ever. Well, what else could it be? Just somebody, learning that it’s, probably, not true? That doesn’t make any sense. It couldn’t just be that. There’s, also, this, like, “Okay, what of your own sinful nature and like, your selfish in-most desires drive you?” So, it’s like- Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. You become your own God, yeah. Also, tended to own my faults as my own, more than, I would say, I gave into the temptation of some external satanic force. Like, yeah, we could have done it all our own without the influence of Satan. It just depends on what your take is, I guess. Let’s go back to ghost. Hi, my name’s Ellie and I have a somewhat spooky story, per your “Twitter” request. My grandmother haunts my entire family, it’s just a fact. It’s not in any sort of scary way. She has a very distinct perfume smell and anytime, she wants to make her presence known, we all smell it. It’s come up when we’re all together for holidays, or I don’t know, when something big happens. It came up most recently for me, ’cause I got a tattoo in her husband, my grandfather’s handwriting. But yeah, it’s more of a comforting haunting. But nonetheless, a haunting. I hope, y’all have a great day. Bye. Well, that ain’t gonna happen, now, after that story, I’m not having a great day with your grandma, just spraying perfume. Perfume gives me a headache. This is, probably, the scariest story, I’ve heard today. But you don’t know, if ghost perfume, that has the same, sort of, impact. Grandma ghost perfume, is going to, like, make my brain hurt. I mean, Jenna, I mean, I don’t know, if you ever think about the awkward conversation we had about your perfume. But I think about it often. What do you remember about that conversation? We were on tour in Toronto. Oh! Okay. It was a little overcast. I remember, exactly. We were walking back from, like, a lunch, or a breakfast, back to the hotel before you had your performances that night. And yeah, we were walking along and it was- The three of us, maybe? The three of us, it was the three of us. And you were like, something about, I can’t remember, exactly, how it started, but you were just, basically, like, “The perfume that you wear, sometimes, it gives me a headache.” And I was like, “Okay.” It was “Acqua Di Gioia”, or something, I can never pronounce it. How committed were you to this perfume? Was this your scent? I wasn’t fully committed. I mean, it was the only- If you died- Yeah. And your family wanted to know your presence- It wasn’t my signature scent. Would this be the scent that you sprayed in the room? It wasn’t your signature. Yeah, I still have it, but I don’t wear it around you, anymore. But I’ve worn other perfumes and you haven’t had that same reaction, so. Because if you know, that I would tell you if I did. Yes. If it did bother you, just go ahead and tell me. But yeah, I did wear other perfume and you haven’t made a comment. If our interactions are- it goes both ways. If they become defined by something that like, really, gives you a headache- Yeah. Or a toothache, or any type of ache. I would hope, that you would tell me, like, that’s the communication climate that we have created by me, just in the nicest way possible, telling you, “Don’t wear perfume around me.” Full stop. Full stop. I think, that the level of- I didn’t know, you were wearing other perfumes around me. I feel, kind of, betrayed. But you’re pushing your- you know what? I thought I said, “No perfume.” But I’m just joking, now. You said that one. You said that specific one. But that’s not, really, what I was thinking. I was thinking- He, only, accepts, like, lotions from “Bath & Body Works” that smell like strawberries. Yeah, but you’re right, you haven’t given me a headache from the way that you’ve smelled, since then. Just a headache from how I talk to you guys? No. But I think, that the level of perfume that you wear during your life, ’cause some people, really, go real, real hard with how much fragrance they put on. And maybe, if you have a very high level and there’s a saturation in your skin, that can pass to the afterlife. And I believe, I met someone, who, this would be the case with, just this couple of days ago. I was going down to the bottom of my driveway, which is a hill to bring the trash cans back up to the top of the driveway. And there was a young couple that was getting into a car, coming out of someone’s house and they got no closer than 50 feet, outside, okay? And it was not windy. And I smelled this woman, or I smelled this woman’s perfume. It was so intense. And as I ascended my driveway, I was setting the trash cans down at the top of my driveway and could still smell it. Well, you gotta clear that nasal passages, you gotta blow out hard. Well, the only point I’m making, is that, well, a, I just feel like that’s overdoing it. It’s overdoing it. But b, when that woman becomes a ghost, she’ll be a smelly ghost, like this grandma. Do you think, this grandma, it’s just she smells strong. You don’t think, she’s, like, spraying it and trying to communicate? Oh, you think it’s ghost perfume that she’s, like, coming in and tch, tch! Yeah, that’s, kind of, how I was thinking. Well, I think, it somehow got through, it got through. I mean, some form of you gets through, some form of your physical form, right? The little girl was a little girl, the face didn’t come, the face was left behind. Yeah. She didn’t get to bring her face. Right. Sometimes, things don’t transfer. But I think, that if you’ve saturated your epidermis with this smell, I think, that the people- It can cross over, so, to speak. The people, who make a decision about what’s important to you, they’re, like, looking at the list and they’re like “Smelling like this is important to this lady. Let it through.” I think, this is- They let the perfume through. This is a cool one, though, right? Cause it’s like- Yeah. It’s a happy haunting, like, “I’m still here, I haven’t completely left.” Yeah. It doesn’t sound like a rewarding experience for the grandma though, you know? It’s like- Well, you don’t know what it’s like on the other side. Yeah, I, really, don’t, Rhett. You don’t know what it’s like to- I really don’t. To attend “Thanksgiving” as a ghost. I mean, it might be horrible. It might be like, “Man, I wish, I could eat that Turkey leg.” But it might be like, “I have no taste for Turkey any longer. It’s just wonderful to see my former family gather.” All right. If this is where you’re going, let’s just go with one from the not-as-creepy category, ’cause I would like to break it up. Hey, Rhett and Link. So, my name is Jordan and I think, that you guys might, really, like this one. Because I know, that you guys are fans of “The Office” and mine, sort of, revolves around that. Okay. So, my spooky story, is that when I was about 13 or so, I went with my family to Scranton and we stayed at the Scranton Radisson and we just had a whole weekend where we visited all locations that they mentioned in “The Office”. Really cool weekend, except, at the Scranton Radisson, apparently, there is a history there of it being haunted and if you look up pictures, it definitely looks, kind of, like, it’s haunted. And so, I, then, got a little scared once we staying and I realized that this place is, probably, haunted and I looked it up and there were stories. And anyways, long story short, my mom is a medium and I asked her and she said, yeah, no, she, definitely, is picking up on some things. So, all night, I was terrified and when I woke up, I was like, “Okay, cool, we did it. We got through the weekend and there was no incidents.” And then, of course, right as I’m about to leave, I unplug my charger from the wall and I swear to you, my fingers were not touching anything else. It was not touching the wall, nothing was sticking out. When I unplugged it, my finger got cut and really bad and was bleeding and it’s, just, non-stop blood the whole way back. And I swear to you, there’s nothing around, nothing poking out. So, yeah, that was my story. Thanks, guys. Appreciate it. So, a Radisson ghost. We appreciate you. Did the dude cut his finger? His mom’s a medium, though. I don’t know, what to make of this one. It, almost, seemed as creepy as the other one. I’m about to say, it is- I thought, it was in the not-as-creepy category, but like, until, like, the cut part, like, it did, kind of, fizzle out, you know? But that’s a good idea for, like, a family trip. If everybody watches “The Office”. I prefer watching “Survivor” and then, going to Fiji. But if you prefer watching “The Office” and going at Scranton, then, that can be your ball of chips. You know, what I’m saying? But they didn’t film in Scranton. I don’t know. Did they film exteriors in Scranton? Is that what they did? I hope, that they did. They filmed in “LA”, they filmed most in “LA”, but I guess, they had exteriors there. You having fun, you liking this? Oh, I’m loving it. Hi, you guys were looking for spooky stories. Yes. Scariest thing that ever happened to me, was I was babysitting, I was looking after my parents’ house a few years back and it was, kind of, getting towards later in the evening on one day while I was there and I just was, kind of, finishing up my errands for the day. So, I decided, I was gonna take out the trash. The garbage man would come in the next morning. So, felt like it was the right thing to do. So, I took the garbage out and I remember very specifically, on the way out, looking at the digital clock that’s next to the computer in the living room as I was heading out and it said, it was 6:07 PM. And this was, kind of, in the summer, so, it was light outside, still, even though, I was in the evening. So, took the garbage down to the end of the driveway, dropped it off, walked back to the house and as an activity, that should have taken no more than a minute or two. And then, all of a sudden, when I closed the door, it’s like I blinked and it was pitch-black outside and I went and looked at the clock and it said, it was 12:07 AM, as in just after midnight. I, like, toured around the house, checked all the clocks, all of them said the exact same thing. And I, still, to this day, have no idea what happened during those six hours. Ended up calling a friend of mine, woke him up and I went and slept at his house for that night, ’cause I was just too freaked out. So, yeah, that was my terrifying story. What? That’s wild! I mean- This feels like- Home alone, like, taking the trash, like, nobody’s at the house. It’s light and then, it’s dark. I don’t know, if I would call a friend after this. I think, I would go to “WebMD”. I know, yeah. You start to think, like, “I had a time-lapse.” But she didn’t, it’s not like, she like, found herself crumpled up on the floor, like, coming to from fainting or something. It was- Well, yeah, I know. But I’d be freaked out, of course. I would “Google” it from a friend’s house after I’d left the vicinity, yeah. Yeah, I would think like, “What happened to me, like, happened to my brain?” That’s a scary on a medical level, versus on a horror level, kind of, a thing to me. Because if you lost six hours- But this the type of horror movie that I would like to watch. Yeah. It’s more psychological thriller. Like, what happened to you in those six hours? Aliens, potentially. Because that is a common thing in stories of alien abduction, is completely missed time. I think, vampires can also wipe your memory. Yeah, they suck your memory out with your blood. I don’t know, what it could be, the strange perfume of a grandmother, or a neighbor. Well- I don’t know. In “What We Do in the Shadows”, they can easily- Yeah, that’s what I was referring to. That’s where I learned all my vampire knowledge from. Yeah. But, like, that’s a good story. I mean, it’s one of those things that, like, when it happens to you, yeah, I mean, she’s had no other symptoms since then, obviously. It reminds me of the book, “The Midnight Library”. If you’ve- I have read it. Yeah, where you can jump into another version of yourself to see if that’s the life you want to live. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, it’s like a multiversal- So, maybe, somebody assumed her life for six hours. A version of her assumed her life for six hours. And then, you, suddenly- And then, decided they didn’t want it. Yeah. So, she just concluded like, “Oh, my life’s not good enough to be taken over by another version of myself?” Yeah. Okay. It’s a fascinating- It’s a really good book, yeah. Hmm. It’s an adult book, huh? Is it a children’s book? Are you talking about reading this recently or? It’s an adult book. Yeah. Okay. But young adults could read it, easy. Yeah, that’s freaky. What about this one? Hey, Rhett and Link. Okay, so, here is my disturbing slash spooky experience. So, some friends and I were driving home from a concert and we lived in Michigan and we were driving home from Chicago to Michigan. And it was pretty late and one of our friends was asleep in the back seat and then, the three other of us were awake and well, obviously. And so, we were just driving along and we were all really tired. And so, when we were driving, I saw what looked to be about a six-and-a-half to seven-foot tall man slash dog, walking alongside the highway. And I thought, I was hallucinating it and I said, “Oh my god! And I’m hallucinating!” And he goes, my friend who was driving, goes, “No, I saw that, too.” And our friend in the back seat, the one who was awake, goes, “I saw it, too! It was a dogman!” And we were all like, “Holy !” Oh, can I swear on here? Sorry. And our friend who was sleeping woke up and was like, “What did we see?” And I was like, “You didn’t see anything.” You were asleep. But yeah, we’ve all been really freaked out about it, since then. We’ve looked it up and, apparently, there’s something called the dogman of Michigan. It’s like, I never knew about it before, until we looked it up. But it’s a thing, people see him. Kind of, crazy. Hmm. Well, when you experienced something- Bye, guys. Oh, she said, “Bye, guys.” That scared me. Like, the fact that- It’s the dogman. “Bye, guys.” Like I, literally, got- I thought it was, “Hi, guys.” I, literally, got scared. “Hi, guys, it’s the dogman.” I thought, I was playing another voicemail. “I’m here in your computer.” I mean, when you get in this zone of, like, being, like, exposed to this type of stuff, I’m going to go home tonight, I’m gonna put the trash cans back around in the dark and I’m gonna do what I do when I start thinking about these type of things and I’m gonna have to run back in the house, like, I’m on record, saying, I’ve had to do it, I’m gonna do it again after this. You ever take a bat or anything out there? I don’t. I don’t have a bat. You think, anyone allows me to have weapons in my own house? No, there’s nothing that you, like a fire poker, I don’t even have a fire poker, like, I have one of those things where you can make s’mores. I have a bat under my bed. I have a bat that is made for, like, hitting intruders with. That, it’s made out of, like, a composite and it’s really heavy and I think, it has a piece of metal inside of it. I think, the one I got, it’s too big, like, I feel like I- You can’t wield it. It’s a little too heavy, but if I catch you with it, it’s over, man. But it’s, ’cause it’s not like a wooden bat, ’cause if you hit somebody with a wooden bat, it’ll break. Can you throw it? ‘Cause that needs- You could. It needs to have throwing stars in the bottom of it. But the thing about this is, again, there’s two other people in the car and the first, she’s like, “I’m hallucinating.” I love this story, this is my favorite. Then, they’ll be like, everybody’s like, “No, I saw something, too. I saw a dogman.” It’s like, “I saw a dogman.” And then, it turns out, so, there’s corroboration within the vehicle of, “I didn’t tell you it was a dogman. I just said, I hallucinated. You said, it was a dogman and I agree.” And then, you start looking it up and there is a dogman of Michigan, that they didn’t know about beforehand? Okay. Like, this is really coming together. I said, that we weren’t gonna do this, but I have to do it on this one. Because for me, this is the easiest one for me. This one’s not scary to me, because- Oh, really? Yeah, because there’s somebody, dressing up like a dogman in Michigan. And I would do this and I may do this in my older years, assume a creepy identity of some sort of creature and be seen in a state. You’re large, dude. You are freaking large. Yeah. Well, to think about it, if you take, like, an average-sized dude, six-feet tall and he puts some sort of- Head piece. Head piece on that’s a dog and he puts on some, like, tattered clothing and he is like, “Yeah, I walked down the side of the street, here and then, I have a little place where I can go back into the woods where people stop.” And it’s fun. There is a risk to that guy’s- Getting shot or something. Yeah, for real. I mean, I wouldn’t do that. That’s really high risk in that way. I think, it would be cool to do it. It’d be cool to know that you did it. Oh, to be friends with the dogman? It’d be cool to be friends with you, dogman. So, that, like, I mean to do it for, like, on and off for a month and then, start to search online to see when people start to talk about it. That would be fun. But what- That’s a long play. But we gotta come up with my persona, ’cause it can’t be dogman, ’cause that’s taken. I don’t think, you should do this, ’cause I don’t want you to get shot. Because my other part of this, is if you were there and it happened the way it happened, would you stop and turn around, not knowing that it was a dogman in Michigan, until later? Hell, yeah. I’d stop and turn around. I don’t know if you would. I think, you would be too scared. What? I think, you’d be on the fence. Now, if you were going there to see the dogman in Michigan, like, you were Ryan and Shane, doing an episode of “Ghost Files”, of course, this is, exactly, what you wanted. You would turn around and you’d be going on through the woods, filming stuff and yes, I would be there for that. I think, I’m gonna walk, I’m gonna walk the “PCH”. But if you didn’t know- So, I’m right next to the beach. I don’t know, that you would stop, dude. And I’m barnacle man and it’s just a man, it looks like a dead dude, covered in barnacles. Barney, the barnacle man. I mean, I’m not gonna give you a name. Barney-cle. And I, kind of, like, scrape along across the bridges and stuff. Barnacle man of the “PCH”. I mean, if you got shot, then, I don’t think they would be- You’re less likely to get shot in California for being a barnacle man than you are in Michigan. Well, that’s true. You know, what I’m saying? I’m, definitely, not doing it in the South. You’d be like, “Deer man, lasted a week.” This one is a California one if you’re talking about California. Hey, Rhett and Link, my name is Janelle. I’m a long-time listener, first-time caller. Hey. And I grew up in Camarillo, California, you may have driven through on your way to Santa Barbara or like, Ventura. Mm-hmm . And we have “California State Channel Islands”, located in Camarillo, which used to be “Camarillo State Hospital”. And it’s pretty done-up these days, it doesn’t look quite as run-down. But it’s still pretty creepy. And growing up, we used to go out there around Halloween time and try and scare ourselves. And there’s, like, an old dairy, ’cause the hospital was self-sufficient and that part is still super run-down and creepy. There’s a lot of urban legends about the place. And, yeah. And I, actually, went to college there as it was “CSUCI” and that was really creepy after late classes. You’d, kind of, see stuff, you’re not supposed to see and it’s bars on the windows and everything. And fun fact, my great-grandpa died there, so, that makes it less scary for me, ’causes it’s just old gramps, hanging out. All right, see ya. Is it on one of the islands? Is that what she said? No, it’s on the mainland and “Hotel California”, this song, is about this mental institution? Huh. I’ve heard so many things about “Hotel California” that it’s like, there’s, probably, I think, there’s five other theories. But like, I don’t know, if this is like an “Eagles”, Brian, I’m asking you if this is like a “Eagles”, have gone on record, saying that. ‘Cause it’s like, they don’t know. I’ve heard- There’s a place in Mexico. Really? I’ve heard this a lot, like, growing up, I used to hear about this all the time, like, everybody that would go to “Cal State Channel Islands” would always come back- Said they went to “Hotel California”? Yeah. That’s cool. So, yeah, it’s the narrative that I grew up with. Yeah, the mental institution, which I don’t know, if they even call ’em that anymore, is like, I mean, if I grew up there, I could, definitely, see that in, like, high school, we would’ve done that, gone out there and like, egged each other on. I’m really surprised that we didn’t, like, as much as you’re into this stuff, now, you weren’t quite, and you like to scare all of our friends, like, we were into camping in the woods and stuff like that. But we never got into this spooky thing in the way that like, nowadays, it’s such a trend. We didn’t have the internet. We didn’t have the internet, you’re right. And we did, it’s- You had to know somebody, who knew it. Urban legends- If we were in high school, now- Yeah. We would have organized these kinds of trips and every state’s got ’em, but there are multiple, like, legends in North Carolina about lights and ghosts and stuff, you know? I know, we just, kind of, missed all of that. I feel sad for us, but I’m, kind of, glad at the same time. All right, let’s, this one looks interesting. Hey, what’s up, guys? Calling for the spooky experience. So, I was in fifth or sixth grade and my dad took me to the Amazon for a canoe trip and we had been down there for a couple days, we’re canoeing, we’re feeling the vibe and one day, we’re canoeing, it’s the middle of the day, bright, sunny day and I’m canoeing along and we passed this river bank and what I see, really, freaked me out. It was a clown. And I know, clowns are this, like, crazy thing, now and people are scared of clowns. But it just was a clown. It wasn’t doing anything spooky, it was just standing there. That’s spooky. I didn’t know how to react. So, I looked to my dad and I’m about to tell him, but I see his face and his face , was, I’ve never seen my dad scared before and that’s all I can describe it as. And I say to him, I’m like, “What’s wrong?” And he goes, “Oh, I can’t tell you.” And I go, “Tell me, please, just tell me.” And he looks at me and goes, “I think, I saw a clown.” We never talk about it, we never asked anyone about it, we just kept going down the river. And so, from that day on, me and my dad have this strange “Clown in the Amazon” story. Then, that’s it. How’re you doing? That’s enough. Happy Halloween. That is, I mean, that’s freaky. Again, you could make the dogman in Michigan explanation, here, somebody in Amazon- It would be helpful to know, like, where on the Amazon they were? Were they, like, in a dense area where there was no towns, or whatever? I mean, even though, clowns are creepy, people still choose to be them. Right. There are people, who just like clowns and I guess, clowns gotta go to the river, sometimes. And just stand. Well, wouldn’t you, though? Again- I feel like, his arms, were like, totally, limping at his sides and he was motionless- Well, there was a clown, going around. But then, his did turn, it was like, that’s the only thing that moved, was, like, his head turn. Yeah, that would be great. And then, his smile got bigger, like, that’s the only thing that moved. There was a clown that was going around- It’s like his hands really heavy. Somewhere in the United States, pretty recent, not recently, but in the last few years, there was a repeated clown sighting, maybe, in “LA”, I don’t know. But this is, again- No, it was, yeah, it was- I think, about the people, who are like me. And again, I don’t do this, because I don’t have enough free time and I, really, don’t wanna put on the makeup and the costume. But I, totally, get the idea of, “I’m just going to do this thing that’s gonna freak people out and get people stories.” That’s, exactly, what that was. I think, it was multiple people, dressing up like clowns and just being places and it, really, started freaking out people and, like, they started to, it was like a, there was a rash of clown sightings and it started raising other questions about, like, “Okay, what are they after?” Yeah. And it could be an innocent prank, but it could, also, be something. Yeah, that’s why, you don’t wanna dress up like somebody, man. I mean, I wonder, if any of those clowns got attacked. I don’t think, anybody would attack barnacle boy. All right, fine. Just leave me out of it. Let’s wrap it up with this one. Hey, guys, Brad, here. Long-time fan, I love what you guys do. Thank you. This is in response to the spooky story tweet that you guys put out there. So, this one’s a bit of a doozy. I have sleep paralysis, occasionally and a few years ago, I , but this time, it felt different. I sunk through my bed, through the floor and landed in my kitchen, is what it felt like. And I felt this tingling sensation behind me. And when I turned around, there was a giant black mass with a letter on the table behind it. So, I approached the letter and I opened it and it’s empty. There’s nothing on it. But like, Tom Riddle’s diary in “Harry Potter”, the letter is being written real-time in front of me. And for the sake of the story, I’m gonna use the name Rebecca, but the letter said, “Thank you for taking care of Rebecca. I really appreciate it. All the people in Rebecca’s life, treat her very poorly, but you’re the only person that, actually, takes care of her. So, thank you. Love, Rebecca’s grandmother.” And then, in that moment, when I finished, I got forwarded up through the floor, again, landed in my bed and shot up and gasped for air, it was just so crazy. So, the next day I contacted Rebecca and I said, “This might sound weird, but I think, I was visited by your grandmother in my sleep.” And Rebecca responds with, “That’s not weird at all. My grandmother visits me in my sleep all the time.” And then, I said, “She left me a thank you letter, what do you think, that has to do with anything?” And Rebecca said that her grandmother left letters for anybody and it didn’t matter if they invited her over for dinner, they would get a thank-you letter. And when she sent me a photo of an existing letter, it was the same handwriting as in my dream. Ahh! And I am not joking, it was insane. But anyway, I hope, that’s a good one and Happy Halloween, everybody. Oh, god! Oh, my God! Hey, that was, Ryan said, “Leave that one for last.” But it was a good one, again. I think, that the moral, here, is that ghosts can be good. If they are grandmas. Yeah, especially, grandma ghosts. Man, that’s crazy! You’ve had sleep paralysis, that’s scary in and of itself, right? But I’ve never seen, lots of people see the black figure, like the black mass. Mm-hmm . And like, there’s a name for it, like, the sleep paralysis demon, or something like that. I haven’t had it in many years, but I used to have it all the time as a kid and a teenager and then, into my twenties. But it’s, probably, happened once or twice in the past 15 years. But it’s never been scary on, like, a supernatural level, or I’ve seen anything. It’s just makes me very scared for my, like, safety, like, I’m not gonna be stuck like this. You’re not thinking straight in the moment, ’cause you’re, like, half-awake. But I’ve, definitely, never been transported to a kitchen and read somebody’s grandma’s note. I wish, I had. And to get a thank-you letter from a ghost, written in real-time. That’s pretty cool, man. It’s pretty cool. Talk about feeling validated for something you did. Yeah. That’s better than a trophy, or a medal, or like, a ribbon that you wear around your neck, ghost letters. I mean, Christy’s- A whole series of books. Christy’s parents told her that, like, “Don’t do anything, you shouldn’t do with your boyfriend, because your dead grandma’s watching,” like, that’s, literally, what they told her and- It worked. Yeah, like, Christy said it worked and it was like, “This is kind of corroboration, you know?” It’s like, “What is grandma seeing, you know? With a letter she could write about me.” I’m just grateful that my nanny didn’t pass away, until I was an adult. I thought about this many times as a teenager, just- First of all, I’m grateful that my nanny didn’t pass away, until when she did, because I loved my nanny. But I guess as, like, a correlation, I would, also, not want any nannies watching me in the stuff that I- Well, but this is the thing. Grandmas know that people masturbate. Grandmas know. And so- Well, I mean, I wasn’t just thinking about- I thought about this as a masturbating teen, who had a dead grandmother and I was like, “If my ancestors, including my grandma, granny was her name, can see me doing this, it’s just like, well, she can also look away,” you know? ‘Cause she could choose to see anyone masturbating and everywhere she’s gonna look, she’s gonna see somebody masturbating. Yeah, but when all of your ancestors are gathered around, watching you masturbate, if granny looks away, she’s gonna feel, like, the peer-pressure of like, “Don’t look away, granny!” Again, going back to the ghost-orientation, I think, like, page two is like, “Let’s talk about masturbation. You’re gonna see a lot of it. And you didn’t see a whole lot of it in your waking life, but this is pretty much-” This is gonna define your afterlife. It’s like, “Look, you’re gonna see so much whacking-off that you’re gonna become completely desensitized to it and you’re going to see your grandkids whacking off, okay? It’s just part of the deal.” And then people, “Any questions?” It’s like, “Do I have to look?” It’s like, “You don’t have to look, but you might as well, start looking, because everyone does it, guys.” I mean- So, I thought about this as a kid and I got over it very quickly. It’s a good idea for a show. I mean, it’s like, basically, what you just pitched, was like, the ghost version of “What We Do in the Shadows”, like, the way, they approach the world of vampires. It’s like, how does this, practically, play out from the ghost perspective, you know? All right, let’s make that TV show. I’m sure, it’s been done, but, like, I would love to see them do it and I- Let’s go around town and pitch that TV show and be told why no one will let us make it. Let’s do that, that’s fun. No, we don’t do that. But I do think, the more I think about it, I think, there was a New Zealand-based show that was a companion show to- “What We Do in the Shadows”. “What We Do in the Shadows”. That’s more of, like, a paranormal- I thought, they were doing a werewolf spin-off. I think, they’re doing that, too. So, anyway, I’m pretty sure, it already already exists. ‘Cause I’ve watched one episode. It was just really hard to understand and I didn’t know, how to turn subtitles on, yet. Can’t remember what it’s called- Bummer. You got a rec for us? Okay. Yeah, I got a rec for us, especially, if you wanna, like, cleanse your brain of, like, all this scary stuff, so, that when you take out your trash, you don’t have to sprint back in, like, there’s a happy place that I, now, find myself going to a lot on “TikTok”. So, this is a “TikTok” recommendation. Jewel, the artist known as Jewel, the Canadian blonde woman, who sang the songs in the nineties, she loves “TikTok”. Okay. And she’s got a great sense of humor, she tells some great stories, she will go on hikes and she will show you amazing vistas and she has catchphrases. I think, her main catchphrase is something to the effect of, “Would you get a load of the bull- that I got going on today?” Like, this is what she says. And her teeth are perfectly imperfect, like, she’s decided that that’s not something, she’s ever gonna change about herself and I love her for it, like, I mean, she’s a beautiful person inside and out and it’s just like- Tell us more. She’ll make you happy and like, I would love to be her friend, like, I’m not saying I have a crush on her. It sounds like you are, which is fine. I think, I do have a crush on her, but I, really, just want to be her friend, like, I, really, want to go on a hike with her and sometimes, if she’s on tour, like, she doesn’t seem like she has any friends, because you never see anybody in her videos, except for her. But she takes ice baths, she tells stories of, like, growing up in wherever the hell she’s, actually, from like- Alaska, right? I guess, yeah, it’s Alaska. Yeah, but I think, she was talking about, like, her uncle, who’s, like, from Iceland. She tells funny stories about her relatives like that. There it is, man. Jewel. Follow jewel on “TikTok”. You’re welcome. Thank you for all your stories, your calling. It’s very fun, very fun. I’m not gonna sleep well tonight, thanks to you. “#EarBiscuits”, let us know what you think. “1-888-EARPOD1”. Okay, here’s my spooky story. I know, a lady and she had a vacuum cleaner, I was trying to borrow at “Shop-Vac” and we were looking in the shop in her shed for the “Shop-Vac” and her husband had recently died, we could not find the hose for the vacuum. And a voice, from nowhere, whispered in my ear, “Look inside.” And I said, “Hey, I think, Jim is telling us to look inside.” And sure enough, she looked inside the vacuum and there was the hose. That’s my story. Hey, my name is Justin. I was not a big believer in the supernatural, until one night, while I was in bed with my ex-wife, who, I, now, believe to be personally, legitimately haunted. I woke up to a scream from her and I saw a guy like, half, sort of, bent over our bed and he was there and then, he’s gone, all of a sudden. We compared notes later on and we either had the craziest shared dream, or something was there with us. And this is just one of, like, a few instances that led me to believing in the things that I do now. Thanks for listening. We love you. Hey, guys, this is Jamie. I’m, actually, on a paranormal team and I’ve had a couple, but my favorite, was I was sitting at a local haunted attraction when I heard a whisper that said, “We’re coming, Jamie,” which is my name and then, everything on my rear-view mirror started to blow as if the wind was blowing on it. But there was no breeze, there was no one around. Then, we got home and the lights turned on in our apartment, so, we had to do a cleansing, ’cause it was pretty terrifying. To watch more “Ear Biscuits”, click on the playlist on the right. To watch the previous episode of “Ear Biscuits”, click on the playlist to the left. And don’t forget to click on the circular icon to subscribe. If you prefer to listen to this podcast, it’s available on all your favorite podcast platforms. Thanks for being your mythical best.