Welcome to Ear Biscuits, the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I’m Rhett. And I’m Link. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we’re going to help you get a backbone. If you need one, we’re going to help you bond with your daughter. If you have one, we’re going to help you, uh, deal with a stalker. If you, if you want one. This is going to be very helpful. We’re gonna talk about our absolutely nots, I think. I, uh, forgot to talk to you about this. I, uh, had dinner with a man last night. Cool, cool. Um, whose first acting job was on the A team. What? Was he, was he, um, Murdoch? Murdoch was my favorite. He was a– The loose cannon. He was a former foot, professional football player who came to LA for a completely unrelated reason In the 80s? In the 80s and his friends wrote you should be in acting, so he started like playing football players in commercials and then He got like an audition to be a boxer on an episode of the a team where like he’s boxing and he gets knocked out and then ba comes in and boxes in this place and he ended up doing a bunch of stuff like that, like playing a boxer, playing a cop, playing a bouncer, like big guy. So are you, are you doing big guy networking? What, what, what’s happening? Uh, no, this is a, uh, uh, I’ll say a family friend. Somebody in my family is friends with somebody in his family, and they were having dinner together, and we were both there. Oh, it wasn’t just the two of you. And we just sat next to each other, and uh Had a big guy time. I mean, it’s funny how much big guys talk about how big the other guy is. It’s like, you know how big you are! Right. But, you also know how big I am. Yeah, I don’t know what it is. It’s it’s called relating to someone. Well, it’s not just that because I’ve said for years and I told him this I was like, you know when I see a man my size I think, look at that freak. He’s awkward. Like, I, I really, like, I see somebody and I’m like, wow, he’s so much bigger. So you basically told this guy he was an awkward freak to his face. I’m like, you, I can look at you and tell that you have trouble with life. But then when I walk up to you, I’m like, oh [bleep], we’re at the same height. And I’m like, this is who I, this is what I look like? That must be shocking to people. Now I know why everyone comments on my height because I want to comment on the height of a person who’s the same height as me. Yeah. And I am completely inoculated to it because I’m always with you. Yeah. So like, I. I would not have chosen this. Well, listen, I don’t, you, you, you’ve deprived me of the experience of noticing large people. Yeah. Like I, and this guy was also big. I don’t appreciate it. His hands. Now give me another minute. He had football hands. You have deprived me of the, of the experience of being like, wow. Look at that tall person. Wow, look at that big person. Hold on, so you’re not still shocked by tall people? No! What, but I am! I’m bored of it! Maybe it’s because I’m, maybe it’s because you’re not tall, I’m not shocked by tall people. Well I am tall! I am shocked by tall people. I’m six foot something. No, you’re six foot. I could be a little bit more. With the hair, with the hair. The hair doesn’t count. But it does in terms of like perception. Okay, well I could be, I could be eight feet if I got the right glue gel in this thing. That doesn’t count. I just don’t care, I just, I do care, but I don’t notice. Tallness. Well, I think that’s probably a good thing because when I notice tallness, it makes me feel alarmed. That’s what I’m saying. I see somebody, I’m like, whoa, I’m scared. I’m like, what a freak. And then you have the second alarm of, it’s, I am too. Yeah, right. But he’s kind of pointing out a silver lining for you, Rhett. You have a complete backup plan, like an adjacent career. You’re already in the town of entertainment. Nope. You just can be a big guy. In entertainment. Tall people are in demand. No one over 6’4 has ever won an academy award for best actor. I’m not saying you’d be a, you’d be an extra, dude. Yeah, right. This is a backup plan. This is a safety net. This is not like an Oscar play. I don’t think so. I think, I don’t know. I think that he, he was tall and big. I don’t know if there’s a lot of roles for just tall. Tall and big is like monster. Just get fat. Cop, wrestler. Just tall? Tall and fat. Go fat. I don’t want to do that. That’s not worth it. I enjoy, I love my job. I don’t need an acting job. Well, I’m just saying if it, if it fizzles, you could be tall guy number four, you know, answering Craigslist ads for Indie film bit parts. Sounds intriguing. Yeah, I’ve got, I’ve got a few. I’m not, I’m not trying to whisk you away to another career. There’s a few jobs that I’ve got in mind before I get to that. So, don’t worry, that’s not gonna happen. Tall guy working at drive thru? You drive up and then you only see his chest? I would cast at a drive thru. Cast? Now, now every profession, they don’t hire, they cast. Yeah. That’s very Hollywood. I thought you were still talking about a role. No, I’m saying you just work there. Yeah, you can’t work at any windows, can’t be a bank teller, can’t be a drive thru er. I can’t even join the military. As much as you’d want to. I mean, if there’s a draft. You probably can’t be a fireman. Uh, I, I feel like a fireman, I can get people in the windows, but not with my back though. Uh, yeah, okay, well. We’ll just keep doing good at this. Okay. Anyway, but I thought that was cool. A team. I was like. I love the A team. I was like, I probably have seen every episode, but you know, and then I was like, Shepard, have I ever shown you the A team? Cause I wanted Shepard to be impressed by it. And he was like, no. I was like, you don’t know. B. A. Baracus? No, I was like, you don’t know Mr. T? He was like, Didn’t even know Mr. T? Doesn’t know Mr. T. An icon of a bygone era. He’s old, but he’s still got that mohawk. And the chains, I think. And the chains, I think, yeah. But his neck’s a lot thinner. Yeah, you can’t keep a neck that thick for a long time. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Man, what an icon. As much as I love that show, reruns of course. I didn’t– Oh, they’re not making New A Team? I just wanted to clarify that we’re not that old, that we were watching it in fresh time. Or were we? We, yeah, we were. Oh, crap. We are that old. We were definitely watching new A Teams. Shoot. Definitely. And reruns. You know, the thing that I never saw was the A Team remake movie. Back when they were doing that in like the 2000s. I’m sure it wasn’t good. Because you know, well because you know, who’s in it? Who’s face? Bradley Cooper is face. His face? Bradley Cooper is the man. I mean what a career that Bradley Cooper. Who’s BA? The MMA fighter, uh.. John? No. John? You could get, you were thinking maybe John Batista? No, no, no I don’t know what I was thinking. Quentin Jackson? Quentin Jackson. I can picture him. Let’s not forget Liam Neeson is in it. Liam Neeson is Hannibal. Was Hannibal. Who was uh, who was the loose cannon? I’m watching that tonight. It was back when they were making, like they made the Dukes of Hazzard movie with Jessica Simpson. I never saw that one either. This may be my night tonight. Like, 2000’s movie remix of 80’s television shows. There was, was there a, well, Knight Rider was remade as a show again. But I don’t think that was a.. You got Charlie’s Angels remade. Charlie’s– There’s quite a few of those. That’s been remade multiple times now. Is that 80s? Was that an 80s show? Rampage Jack Quentin Rampage. Rampage Jackson. So who were the other two? Who was Murdoch? Murdoch was, uh, Char, char. Walton Coggins. Charto Copley. Don’t know him. Let me see his picture. He could have been a great, um, Charito Copley. And Patrick, Patrick Wilson? Who was he? Lynch? That’s not one of the A Team. Oh, McRaney was in there. We just talked about McRaney. Gerald McRaney? He was General Morrison. Yeah, he’s good at playing a military dad. Or just a military guy. Okay. I don’t know, what’s the Rotten Tomatoes on the A Team remake? Forty eight. Ugh. What about the fan? Sixty six for fans. Okay. It seems like, If the fans do 80 percent and up, I think the movie’s probably worth watching. Even if the critics say it’s low. But they didn’t. Sixty six, that’s, uh, I don’t know about that. What about the Dukes of Hazzard? Look up that one right quick. I think that’s even worse. This is why I didn’t watch these at the time. . Yeah. Right. I mean, you gotta, you know, oof. That’s, that one wasn’t good, was it? Rotten Tomatoes is 14% . Ouch. Johnny Knoxville was in it so bad. Yeah. I, I remember watching when it came out because Johnny Simpson. Of Johnny Knoxville. Yeah. Uhhuh . Wow. 14% and 46% for, uh, you like Johnny Knoxville simply because he’s from Knoxville? Yes. Okay. Us Knoxvillians are very I like him because Hold on, Burt Reynolds plays Boss Hogg. Yeah. Yeah, it was fun. I feel like I gotta watch it regardless. I thought it was fun. Let’s do it. I don’t think I’ve watched it since it’s come out, but Yeah, cause it was like 2005 or something. Like I was in high school when it came out. Jessica Simpson, that, that era Jessica Simpson. Willie Nelson is in it too. Yeah. Willie Nelson? What does Willie Nelson do? Uncle Jesse. Oh my gosh! That’s what I’m saying. This is a fun time. Oh he is. He is. MC Ganey played Roscoe. A rapper? Played Roscoe P. Coltrane? No, this guy. Oh, this. That guy. You know that guy. Oh, yeah, he’s cool. He was in Sideways. Come on now. What’s the fan rating on Dukes? 46. Did they still use the Waylon theme because I think you got it. Yeah, of course. I hope they did. I hope they did. Just a good old boy. Okay. Well, I mean we’ve come up with our weekend activities. Yeah, we have. I’m also DJing a party. Oh. Very excited. I’m going complete vinyl, I think. Hours and hours of me and my vinyl. But I do have the So you’re not going to be leaving the booth, as they say. No, no, no. I’m going to fade into the background. I’m just like a background host. This is not This is, this is just, I’m just a DJ at the party basically. Even though I’m kind of like a host because of the, the venue. But um, yeah, I’m excited about that. Get my, get my spin on. I’m looking forward to hearing about it. Are you finding it difficult to squeeze in a balanced meal? Well, that’s where Huel comes in. 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Just go to indeed. com slash ears right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on Ear Biscuits. Indeed. com slash ears, ear with an S. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring? Indeed is all you need. Stop the podcast. What? Why? What’s happening? We’re doing something cool. We finally get to tell them? We sure do. We get to tell them all about our first official Mythical Kitchen livestream event. Survive the Mythical Kitchen. Aaaaaah! Good synchronized scream. Nicole, are you ready to face your Kitcheneer competitors and fight your way through the toughest challenges Mythical Kitchen has ever seen? Trevor, Vee, and Lily won’t know what hit them. They sure won’t. All of this goes down live on Thursday, April 3rd, and tickets are available now. Mythical Kitchen live.com. Please buy tickets. Seriously. You haven’t seen Mythical Kitchen like this before? Don’t miss out and get your tickets now. Mythical Kitchen live.com. What if I, what if I type in mythical kitchen live.com? What if I told you it’s the same thing? You’re crazy. I like you’re crazy. No, you’re, I don’t like you. You’re crazy. Mythical Kitchen live.com. Um. Let’s, let, let’s get to the voicemails, cause we got some good ones. Hi Rhett and Link, this is Bailey. Um, I was hoping you had some advice for me on how to handle the fact that my boyfriend sort of has a stalker. So this lady used to work with him a few years ago, and um, although they’ve never shared an in person interaction before, she is in love with him. She sends him letters, gifts, and um, has even showed up at his house. to, um, Professor Love for him. Um, he’s very quiet and reserved person. Uh, he thinks this is just no big deal because He says he can’t control what she does and he never reciprocates it, um, but it makes me uncomfortable because of course it’s my own boyfriend and she won’t stop, you know, sending him this, all this stuff. Um, I will mention she is an older lady who is cognitively impaired. Which makes me feel awful about it. So, uh, any advice on how to approach or, uh, not approach this situation would be great. And how can I not feel so uncomfortable with the fact that this random lady is sending my boyfriend things? Okay, love you guys. Bye. I’m regretting the term stalker once we’ve gotten all the information. Well, that’s what she used. She did, but I’d also used it, and I just, I just don’t know if that’s the right term given all the information. This is quite a needle to thread. I’m gonna let you start. Yeah, well, I would say, step one, don’t watch Baby Reindeer. Okay, um, don’t watch that. So, okay, she’s an old Is it good, though? Uh, I would say it’s good, but it’s a hard, it’s a hard watch. You know what I’m saying? It’s a hard watch. Not for me, then. Um. Number two, she’s an older lady, so this problem has an expiration date. I’m just going to be honest with you. Uh, it’s not going to, this isn’t going to last forever. Um, so that, a little bright side. Number three, um, I think that, you know, I don’t know the situation, so I’m not going to say this lady is harmless. But let’s just assume that she is. For the sake of what I’m going to advise. And that is If she’s a gift giver, a gift giving stalker, I believe, is in a slightly different category. Um, because you as the girlfriend could potentially take advantage of this. If there is a way for him to communicate your preferences for gifts as his preference for gifts, you can start getting things that you like. Basically delivered for free to your doorstep. This is, this is, uh, ingenuitive, but I’m still a little uncomfortable with. Well, but sometimes a good gift, sometimes it’s worth a little bit of sacrifice. So you’re, you’re, you’re manipulating a cognitively challenged person to give you gifts that your girlfriend wants. Well, okay, hold on, hold on, hold on, okay, you, you really twisted my advice. What I’m saying is that I’m giving you an opportunity to What can happen if you try to Approach this. There’s one way to approach it, which is to shut it down, you know, you take somebody and you shut it down and you say, no, no, no, you can never come here again. If you do, we’re getting a restraining order. And that can sometimes is necessary. Of course, that’s necessary. Sometimes. Yeah, but if you start, if you feel unsafe in any way, I think that that that supersedes anything, I think. But if you don’t feel unsafe, Especially the comedic advice, but go on. I mean, what’s the, you know when you do a white elephant, and you say, nothing over twenty dollars, like, what is the, how good are these gifts, is what I’m asking, like, what are we, are we talking, are we talking a card and chocolates, or are we talking a like, an air fryer? Yeah. And I’m not saying manipulate the lady so to for increase, increase her price point. I’m saying if her price point is she’s already bringing 50 to a hundred dollars gifts on a regular basis, this is like a wedding registry. Okay. You know what I’m saying? You gotta look at what you want in the band of that thing and then somehow get him to communicate. And I think it was simply be still a little uncomfortable. But go ahead. He puts a little note out and he’s like, thank you. But we would really like. A blow up mattress. No, no, no, that’s a bad idea. No, no, no, nothing that would suggest anything. Whatever you’re into. You know, a gift card to Outback. You know what I would like? I would like a, um, a hummingbird. Feeder? Yeah, the ones that you wear on your face. So that the hummingbirds Land on your face. You don’t want to see a hummingbird up that close. Yes, I do! No, you don’t. You, listen, a hummingbird is really cute from the distance that you typically see them. When they get close, there’s an insect quality to them that will turn you off. Oh, and that, that needle like beak is, you feel like it’s gonna, uh, poke your eye out? You won’t like it as much. But you’ve got lenses. I’m just telling you. I think you can lure other birds. I’m developing a relationship with a hummingbird. By the way, how do you know it’s the same one? Because it perches in the exact same place at the end of my walk with the dogs before I turn around There’s this one tree It’s in a beautiful spot that overlooks a meadow and I looked over there one day and it was a perched hummingbird Which is symbolic for me and very special for me for Um, it, it mean, it, it has meaning to me, personally, which is why I have a perched hummingbird tattooed in my, um, foliage on my arm. Yeah, your arm foliage. Seeing a perched hummingbird is a gift for me. And I saw this perched hummingbird and I just stopped. I kept my distance, um, probably about 14 feet. And that’s a good distance. I stared at it and I, I, I breathed in a meditative fashion and it was, I made it, I made it a moment. How’d you know it was a hummingbird without seeing it flutter? Oh, then it flew. I, I stayed there and stared at it till it flew away. But you knew by looking at it that it already was a hummingbird? Oh yeah. I know what a perched hummingbird looks like. I have one on my arm. And then What’s the difference between a perched hummingbird and otherwise just small bird? Well one’s a hummingbird. But Physiologically, does the breast look different? What is it? The contrast between them being perched and not. That is a facet of the meaning for me. You know, they’re so they’re so I understand that. But what I’m saying is a hummingbird that’s flying around is obviously a hummingbird because right a perched hummingbird. I wouldn’t know harder to spot because you might think it’s just a bird. Exactly. You’ve got to have a keen eye. You’ve got to be able to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. So that’s another component of it, but I will tell you. And I kind of spoiled it, but like, next day I went and I kind of looked and wasn’t there. Um, you know, it was three or four days later. And again, there’s lots of places to perch. This is a long walk for me. I get to this point, and I just happen to look over there. Same exact perch. Like, little twig at the top of this tree. This, this, I, like, eye level tree, and he was, he was there again, and I did it again, so it’s happened twice. Mm. And so now I’m starting to believe that this is his perch, and, and this is our meeting time. It’s like at a, at a, at a, the right time in the morning, he’s perched right there. Well, enjoy it while you can. Yeah. I don’t think he’ll be there forever, but you know, and I may have talked about this before back to the Um, the elderly admirer as i’m gonna call her. Okay, that takes the edge off a little bit I had one of these I had I had an elderly admirer who was um, uh, Mentally challenged or whatever. The correct term is forgive me at church at back at back remember this No. What? At Buies Creek First Baptist? Yes. Oh. At Buies Creek First Baptist Church. Okay, yes. I had, uh, um, like an, an older lady admirer. She didn’t, and she might have, she, a couple of times I got gifts. But I was probably. You were like a kid. Fifteen, fourteen, maybe thirteen. Okay. And that’s an awkward age. What kind of gifts did she give you? Uh, notes. Maybe a, maybe a flower, that type of thing. Um, that’s nothing to get too excited about. Well, it was hard for me to get excited at that age. It’s like, I didn’t know what to do. You know, I didn’t have a girlfriend to like help me or call into a podcast. Did you tell anyone? Because you didn’t really tell me. Did you tell, this is the kind of thing you would have kept to yourself at that age. I just kind of, I was just nice to her. But it was, I was an uncomfortable, you know, pubescent kid. What did the note say? Like admiration type things. Okay. Like, but it, but it got a little intense. Uh huh. Um, but it didn’t get inappropriate. Okay. And I didn’t, I wasn’t afraid, I was just And we don’t know if this has gotten inappropriate, other than the Like, showing up at the house, which is highly inappropriate. I mean, I think it’s just, I, it, in retrospect, it was nice that, you know, she appreciated things about me that, that brightened her day. Heh. You know, I was able to brighten her day. You know, it’s like, now you can, in a weird way, Your boyfriend is, is brightening somebody’s day. You know, if it, if no harm, no foul, don’t ruin it, don’t ruin it for her. If he don’t think, doesn’t think it’s a big deal, just, I mean, just consider him non monogamous. You’re getting on me about my advice. I’m not saying go all the way. I’m not saying any, I’m not trying to make it sexual, I don’t know why I said that. I just meant like, in terms of like, you know, he’s got, he’s got a, he’s got a side, they call it a side piece. Another girlfriend. But it’s more of like, Hold on, you, okay, just so we can be clear. We know, You just said that he should treat his elderly stalker as a side piece. And then you are getting all mean about my advice. Just in a friendly way. Sorry, shouldn’t have talked to I mean, I had a In retrospect, I have fond memories of my friendship with Joyce. I think her name is Joyce. Well, if you feel unsafe, Yeah, I’ve already said that. Right, but, And it supersedes. And I don’t obviously feel unsafe. But also if you feel like there’s any animosity directed at you that makes you feel uncomfortable. Like, are you in the way of this thing? She sees you as a threat. Then that’s potentially problematic, but maybe she doesn’t even know you exist. In fact, it’s better if she doesn’t know you exist because then she doesn’t, there’s no chance that she’ll know that she’s giving you gifts when his preferences change to whatever you’re into, which is what I’m sticking with. You know, if you feel unsafe, put a stop to it. But if you think it’s harmless, make the gifts count. I will say I never thought I wanted an air fryer. But, once you use it, Shoo wee, it’s, uh, off to the races, boy. Yeah, yeah. Like, it’s, it’s a, it’s, it’s a leftover transformer. Oh, so you’ve been cooking in the air fryer, but just leftovers. Oh yeah, just leftovers. It is a great way to, to rejuvenate pizza. Chicken strips. Mm hmm. Fries even. Yeah, it can work wonders. It can rejuvenate some stuff, so that’s the thing to get. Next voicemail. Hi Rhett and Link, my name is Lindy, and I have this theory that everyone has five absolutely nots. And these are things that you just get to play the get out of jail free card. I absolutely not will do, will not do this. And you need no explanation. Um. But you can only have five. And if you want to have a new one, you have to replace one that you previously had. And I like the theory because it keeps me open minded and like, um, just open to trying new things as long as they’re not on my absolutely not list. For example, mine are downhill skiing, yogurt, cemeteries, and Zumba. My fifth one is open and I need some ideas. So I’d love to know what are your absolutely nots? Again, my name is Wendy. Love you guys. Thanks. What’s so wrong with Zumba? Have you ever seen it? Uh uh. Google it. Does it involve the exercise balls? I think it’s just, it’s jazzercise adjacent. Okay. Okay. It’s like a, it’s, it’s a self respect thing. What do you think of this concept? Well, it, for, I didn’t know where it was gonna go. When I thought it was just a list of things that you don’t like, but it was like, oh no, this is I’m only able to put five things on the list Right. To keep me open to other things, which I really like. I have a really difficult time coming up with things that are absolute no’s for me. Because I have a lot, because I don’t, you know, there’s not a lot of things I don’t like. But, I’m not shaving. I mean, I put that on the list. Okay. You know, that’s a no for me. Yeah. Um. Any others? Downhill skiing, I should probably put that on my no list, honestly. But you have those, like, ski boots molded to your feet. I know, and I use them, and I took a lot of advantage of those, and actually had a really good time. Alright, then give them, then they’re done. You’ve gotten use of them. But, I don’t know, it’s still fun, but every time, I mean, Jacob, of course. It works here. Yeah, covering from a ACL tear from down for like weeks and weeks and you just you just you you see the impact of an injury like that. And I’m like, is it worth? Is it worth it? There are other things that I can do. I can play a downhill skiing video game. Okay, so that’s two. And I don’t eat organ meats, which I don’t think that’s not, that’s kind of unnecessary. No, no, but this is the thing. It’s not like no one’s going to put that on a, like livers, chicken livers. I have a thing about this because every time you hear people start talking about eating organ meats and how good they are for you, I’m like, well, why do I hate them so much? Yeah, it’s on, well, it’s on your list. You don’t need to explain yourself. But no, but I think I need organ meats. I think we’re supposed to eat them. And why is it? I didn’t think it was necessary to put that on there. Why is it, if they’re so good for you, That we have a visceral reaction. It’s just yeah, it doesn’t know we do we have to trust early, right? We have to trust our bodies. I think I don’t know but I think we should think it’s an American palette It’s a modern palette thing, you know ancient man. Oh, yeah, he would hunt he would grab the heart He would bite you take a bite of the heart like an apple and he’d love it and he loved it Yeah, my papa. I love some fried chicken gizzards It’s got all the minerals? Gross. But why do we think it I just don’t know why we think it’s gross. But anyway Because I because it the taste of it is not refined. I’m just saying it’s on my list because I can’t help it being on my list. So that shaving I’m not gonna put skiing I got shaving and Gizzards. Uh. Organs. Organ meat. Okay. I got three openings. Okay. Um, well, I worked up a list. Oh, really? Yeah, I mean, it didn’t take long at all. My five absolutely nots. Tomatoes, of course. Yeah, okay. Helicopters. They were fun while they lasted, but I’m not going to press my luck any more. What happened? Well. You had an issue with one? I mean, people, people, people die. Famous people. Okay. Who play basketball. It’s just not worth it. I’ve, I’ve experienced it enough that like, the thrill has subsided. And at this point, it’s not worth me pressing my luck with what I would get out of it. I’ve, I’ve, I’ve skirted through with a helicopter experience or two. This might come back to bite you if we got to get out of town real fast and the only way is a helicopter. Rappers selling non exclusive features. I don’t want to hear some no name person’s track that has somebody that I like on it rapping this thing that I’ve heard them rap one, two, three, four more times in the past two months. Hold on, this is happening? Yeah. Rappers, don’t pimp out your verses. To people that they can game the algorithms so that it comes into my feed. Oh, you, you love Benny the Butcher. You love currency. So here you go. Here’s some no name crap artist who paid way less than market price To get your verse that’s everywhere and then I’m I’m like you’re flooding me with the same thing I hate I hate it. How does this happen money? Oh, yeah. There’s just there’s just websites. It’s money Red it’s literally the same thing They just record it and they just send them the track and be like you can use it It’s the it’s the rap feature it’s a verse and then they just put it on their own track and they also rap on it or sing or whatever they want to Do and then they can say Featured. Featured. Featuring so and so, who’s like Yeah. I’m gonna put that on one of my I’m gonna put that in one of my openings. Yeah, I got three now. Good. I got you. All right. Here’s another Reptiles as pets. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m just sorry. I I’m sorry Yeah, I’m sorry. I It’s unneeded. There are people in my life that I love that have reptiles as pets and I’m sorry. What kind? snakes I had a snake for a while. Lizards! Named Moose. And you know what we did with him? We took him back to the pet store. Yeah! Because after a while my son realized that there was no emotional connection. I’m sorry! Even when you name him a mammal, it still doesn’t work. I think they’ll be okay on their own. They don’t need owners. And finally Flavored creamer in my coffee. No! No! I want my coffee to taste like coffee. I like cream, but I just like my coffee that tastes like coffee to be creamy. What if it was lavender flavored creamer? Because you’ve been doing that, I’ve noticed. Did I get you? Oh. You want your coffee to taste like coffee? But it’s not flavored, but it’s not, I have not had lavender flavored creamer in my coffee. What if, what if you, what if all it is is creamer with lavender oil put into the creamer in the same way that the syrup, whatever, would be in the coffee. It’s just a two for one. It’s like shampoo and conditioner. And I have a bonus one. Uh huh. Uh, Olives. I don’t care what you’ve stuffed in them. Wrapped them in. You can’t have six. You can’t have six. That’s the whole point. I knew this was going to be hard for you. Alright, fine. So that means you gotta let olives in. Your mouth. I guess I’m letting creamer, flavored creamer go. Okay, there we go. Hi, guys. My entire life, I I have, um, been a people pleaser and have been, uh, very open to do anything for anyone in order to make other people happy above myself. And both of you seem like you’re very strong willed and have made decisions that would not make other people happy, but have made you happy. And that has in turn Change everything dramatically within your life, and that is what I am trying to accomplish. I’m trying to learn how to have that backbone instead of allowing people to walk all over me. Um, so if you have any advice or suggestions for how to train yourself into being that type of person, I’d really appreciate it. Love you all. Thank you very much. Bye. There’s some assumptions in here. I’m glad you, that was your uh, assumption. Um, I don’t, I don’t think that strong willed and people pleaser, I think those are mutually exclusive things, because I am strong willed. What do you mean, mutually, well you can’t, no, but you’re about, they’re not mutually exclusive. You can be both, you can be strong willed and a people pleaser. Yeah, I don’t know, I meant, you know what I mean. The opposite of what you said. Yeah, the opposite. I’m saying that I am strong willed, but people, the way that you describe people pleasing, of like, Letting people walk over you, like, I don’t know, okay, I feel like that’s a little bit different. That’s, that’s what you would, you said, not having a backbone. But people pleasing, case in point. Last night, when I was having dinner that I was talking about. Mm hmm. Big boy dinner. The waiter shows up. The first thing the waiter says is, I’ve been waiting on you all night. First thing, huh? Hoping for some sort of positive response, maybe a chuckle? And I was in mixed company. And he was closest to me. And I thought, narcissistically, maybe he’s a fan, I don’t know. Uh, and so I was like, Ha! I gave him one of those. Ha! Ha! Ha! You have a reputation for laughing at guest jokes on GMM that aren’t funny. Of course I do. Because I know you’re not gonna do it. You won’t do it. I, if you go back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m not, I wasn’t criticizing you for it. I was just stating a fact. But, and so that is, that is a form of people pleasing. I, I completely admit it. It’s just like, because I’m kind of like, all right. It’s interesting because, uh, Tosh, you know, who has a podcast now, I saw a clip from his podcast where he was talking about his pet peeve about his wife is her laughing at unfunny waiter jokes. Oh, did I just do it to you? And, uh, well no, that was funny. Okay. And he’s like, she laughs at an unfunny joke. And then he just like stares at her and I totally get it. He’s like, I don’t want this guy to think that he’s funny. If he’s not. And I’m kind of like, I don’t want the rest of the night to be weird because we stonewalled you and you made a bad joke. Yeah. It’s a pleasure cycle. And also, I don’t want our celebrity guest on GMM to suddenly lose confidence and become uncomfortable because no one laughed at their joke at the beginning of the thing. So, yes, I fake laugh at people who are not funny. So I don’t know how you want to receive that. I also laugh at myself quite a bit. Um, but give yourself that boost you need. So. I’m gonna say that, and I think that’s a personality thing, I think you either have it or you don’t have it, and I don’t necessarily think that you should try to change it. I, like, I’m not gonna stop not, I’m not gonna stop laughing at things that aren’t funny if I’m the only one who might do it for people. Because I’m like, you know what, it’s fine if you continue in the delusion that you’re funny and you’re not. But not having a backbone, letting people walk all over you, that’s a different thing. Which I do not believe I do that. And even if it is Of the same category. It’s an extreme version of it. Like to be, to be a people pleaser who is a doormat is just, is the, is the far end of that spectrum. You know, I think you gotta, you gotta have a code, you know, I’ve heard it said that everybody has a code, but that’s not true, but it’s good to have a code and the best codes are written down. I think you might need to start writing down things. I mean, I’m inspired by the, by our previous conversation of our. Uh, five not me evers, or whatever they call it. I think, I think that would be a good place to start, you know? Write it down. That way it becomes real. Give me an example. How it would apply in this situation. I, like, you’re not willing to, There’s certain things you’re not willing to do. You know? That, even though it might please somebody. So it might be, Laughing at a joke that’s not funny. It’s like, if that’s something that, You want to write down as part of your code. A boundary. A bou yeah, a boundary. A pr like you’re li you got some principles. And then that way, it’s more about you being true to yourself. At you’ve got something to balance it out, right? When you have that urge to just, Oh, I’m a I’m a I’m a I’m gonna make this feel okay. I want everything to feel okay. Step it into some discomfort. Mm hmm. I think maybe there’s a way to practice in a low stakes environment. Okay. So, for instance, I’m not, I don’t like small talk. I’m really bad at it. I don’t like it. Um, so I just, in lots of circumstances, like a cashier. How you doing today? They ask me. Good. How about you? I give very like Nothing interesting. There’s a wall there. It’s like, I don’t want to talk to you about things right now. It’s just my natural disposition. I’m just not that warm when it comes to those. I’m on an elevator with somebody. I’m not going to ask them a weird question. Yeah. Or give them a weird answer to a normal question. Even though, it would be, uh, better for them if I were to be warmer or whatever. But, maybe, for me, what I should do. And this could, you know, you think about what situation it would be for you. Maybe the next time a waiter says something that’s not funny, I just stay completely stone faced. Just as a, it’s low stakes. It’s just a, it’s just a dinner. It’s just a waiter. Like, maybe he’ll be like, okay, I’m not gonna use that joke again. At least not with tall people. See how bad your service is after that. And, uh, I’ll still tip, I’ll still tip well. But. That’s kind of a low stakes environment, right? I’m not gonna do that on GMM. I’m not gonna be like, okay, celebrity guest is on. If he’s not funny, I’m not laughing because that’s, yeah, don’t do that. That’d be bad. Don’t do that. But, so maybe you think about like, let me do that low stakes practice. But what if they’re going on a long road trip with a friend and you’re like, you know what? I just don’t, the friend says, I, you know, I just don’t like to drive. Can you drive and you, but you don’t want to drive or. Your car, there’s some issue with your car or something. You know, it’s like, how you gonna, you gotta, you gotta be able to tell him. You know what? I can’t drive this time. You make me drive every time. Why don’t you take a turn? I don’t know why that’s the example I’m given, but it is. Well, road trips are very popular. Yeah, or at least pay, like, get him to pay for half the gas. You know, you drive and you’re paying for all the gas. I feel like this is just a way for you trying to get me to pay for all the gas. Well, it’s, you’re probably thinking about a very particular relate, you’re thinking about particular relationships in particular situations. So I think your idea about, let’s just pick one. Let’s pick, let’s pick an area, because actually, I don’t think it’s growing a backbone. Because a backbone is bones. Yeah. If you got a bad backbone like me. It’s gonna be bad forever, but what you can do is you can strengthen the back muscles around it and muscles need to be stressed In order to be broken down to be built stronger, right? And so, that’s what this has gotta be. You’re like, okay, I have this specific situation with this specific person, and it’s this pattern where they do this thing, and I let them do it. I’m gonna focus on that one thing. I’m not gonna think about the mountain of things that I want to change. I’m gonna think about the isolate, I’m gonna isolate that muscle. And then you’re gonna do some reps. Just do some reps. There you go, you’re gonna do some reps on it. And you do that one situation, and you’re like, Hmm, that felt good. Okay, all right. That’s really practical, Rhett. You set a boundary there, and then you’re like, What, what’s the next exercise that I can do? And as a reminder, I think you need to start putting the phrase, I am not a doormat, in, in strategic places. Most importantly, on your doormat. I think you need a doormat. Every time you walk into your house, you look down, you wipe your feet, and it says, your doormat says, I am not a doormat. I am not this. I’m not this? You want to be a little cryptic. Well, I’m not a doormat. It’s kind of, it’s, it’s kind of a, it’s kind of an ironic doormat. Yeah, that would be, it would be a fun t shirt too. Then it would be, I’m not a t-shirt, but it would be, no, it would be a doormat on a t-shirt. It’s not as good r Well, but then people you’re trying to improve on my idea, but no, but then people see it. But now, but you got, now people have to come to your house to see it. But then they’re chuckling and it might be because they’re a doormat. ’cause it’s not that funny. Oh, it’s a doormat and decipher. Decipher. That’s right. You’re looking like, you got that like camera I, I would like that at your door and you’re, you’re looking, if they give a little chuckle. I wonder if somebody already sells this. I haven’t had a doormat in a doormat. Oh no. Look that up. Let’s hear another voicemail though, cause I’ve, I’ve solved it. It can’t be improved upon. Hey, Link. Hey, Rhett. My name is Richard. Uh, I’m a father to, uh, 14 year old daughter, 10 year old son. Uh, currently, I live about four hours away from them. So, every time I can, I’m traveling up to see them. Uh, in a couple of months, I’ll be moving up there as well. Uh, but I’m really struggling right now with connecting with my daughter. Uh, of course, she’s 14, she’s got so much else going on with her life, and I’m just looking for some creative ways. Um, I know I need to be patient. I know that this is, she’s coming into herself, I understand all that, but I’m really I’m really missing her. I’m missing her little child like ways, being able to hug her tight and, and play with her and like have fun with her and she’s, she’s just so distant to me right now, both physically and emotionally. And I’m just looking for some creative ways to kind of reconnect with her. Uh, I love you guys so damn much. Uh, keep being wonderful. And, uh, I love you. Bye. Wow. I mean, Liz. The emotions are eking out sideways with this guy. I like this guy. Yeah. Because he likes us. Well, I think he’s really missing a connection with his daughter and it’s kind of like, it’s kind of hitting us sideways. Right. And we will take it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here’s a virtual hug. And be safe while you’re driving, which it sounded like you were doing. Uh, but I assume you’re not anymore. Maybe you are as you’re listening to this. What an experience. Hmm. Okay. Hey, thanks for the voicemail. I will let you know quickly, uh, before you answer this, that there is a doormat that says I’m not a doormat. 20 on Amazon. 20 on Amazon. Uh, that’s Or if you don’t buy things from Amazon, I totally get that. Uh, just go to Hobby Lobby. Nope. And if you don’t buy things from Hobby Lobby I bet you can just get it on Etsy. Yep, I was just gonna say, there is one on Etsy. Etsy’s the spot. Yeah! Um, I’m not a doormat. Doormat. What? Um. Now you’re a father of a daughter that was at 1. 14. Yep. That was six years ago. Isn’t that wild? No, it was eight years ago. It was eight years ago. Isn’t that wild? Um. I mean, it’s a tough time and you’ve got the added challenge of distance. Uh, you, you, you gotta, you gotta let go of the things that you’re missing that are of the previous era, you know, and that might include physical affection for a while. I think that there’s, there was quite a stint there where there were, there were no hugs received well. You know, and I, and I, it turns out, I don’t think there was that much to it. Um, no, I wouldn’t worry about it. So, you know, I think, I think, I think this is a tough one for, for me and Lily, it really was about like the thing we, I, I found a common interest in movies, like the, she was really into Star Wars, and um, Lord of the Rings, and like, I think, we would just talk about that a lot, because there was a lot of Star Wars stuff happening, and it was easy to talk about because I was legitimately interested in it. And, um, it, it’s easier to talk about something out that’s, finding something like that is like the, that’s the holy grail. Cause when you start talking about, trying to talk about their lives. They don’t want that. And their perspectives, or, you know, their relationships, or their, even their, their schooling, or, you know, it’s just, it’s, I don’t know, they don’t, it doesn’t really work. There’s something about being able to, I mean, I’m speaking from the perspective of connecting with sons, but it’s the same in that They go through this teenage time where they are changing so much and suddenly you are not cool. And you may be a buzzkill. Where the facing each other becomes much harder than facing, both facing the same direction. There you go. It’s kind of like what we were talking about with the hiking date. Like you can be facing this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Going somewhere together. And when you’re like. Takes the pressure off. Yeah, yeah, you find that, it’s that common interest. But I don’t think what you can do. At least I’m guessing is they’re interested in something that is very much 14 year old girl and you’re like, well, I’m going to become interested in that because they see right through that, you know, and also you probably won’t actually be interested in, right? But there’s, I’m sure there’s something, but not it, but it’s like, in terms of, there’s gotta be something, there’s gotta be something that’s like a common interest. And if there’s a, you know, for me and Shepard, like we love watching movies together at home, but also we go to the movie theater quite a bit together. Like we just. And we like watching horror movies together and classic movies together, and then you can get him talking about the movie afterwards, like, we, we talk about that quite a bit. We connect about that stuff quite a bit. We also connect just like, you know, He’ll talk to me about himself as well. It’s not like I have a rift that I’m trying to Yeah, but if if I did have a moment where there was like, oh, there’s a distance that would be an easy thing to connect with him about it was a common interest like that something else that Our friend Gar is like a master at at this technique I think and I and you’ve got some good experience with it Is the road trip, which I thought about that as like, it’s a version of like the hiking thing, it’s like you’re driving somewhere, you’re both in the front seat, you’re both facing, you’re both literally facing, going towards something that could be something that she wants, especially because you have to drive there and you know, it seems like if you guys are hanging out there might be It might lend itself to that. So like finding something that you’re going to, and it might just be something she’s into that you’re not into, but just the classic dad taking the daughter and her friends to the concert concert. Yeah, but secretly he has he has planted a bomb there What that’s a movie that came out this year. Oh good. I’m glad that was a movie cuz that’s good It was an M night movie where the dad is at the concert. Oh, I did not see this movie He’s like, this is the one that was directed by his daughter Ironically, oh it was yeah, I think I don’t I didn’t see it But I just know that, like, it was called, like, I don’t know what it was called. Colin Farrell’s in it, right? I don’t know. I think he was, it’s like a serial killer that they’re doing a sting operation. Okay, so maybe it wasn’t a bomb. But he was like, yeah, he’s, he’s there to kill, but he’s acting like a dad. Don’t do that! Do that! Eugh. I, I feel like there’s something in there for you, you know? And just keep it low key. Keep it low key. Don’t, don’t push really hard, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don’t seem desperate. It’s like lure, you know, you gotta, you, you gotta, you gotta have something, you gotta lure her into interest with something that she’s interested in. But also, this is, for most kids, totally normal, not a sign that there’s something wrong. In fact, with certain personalities, this is a sign that something is right with them. There’s actually like a biological, um, Like a separation. The separation, yeah. Yeah, like I gotta figure out who I am. I have to go and start my own family. Kind of like, you know. Yeah, encourage her to start her own family. As soon as possible. Yeah, don’t do that. Sorry we buried the lead on that one. Don’t do that, don’t do that. We got one more for the road. Hi Rhett and Link. I am asking for some advice. How do you get out of the friend zone? I was seeing this guy for a few weeks, everything was going really well, and all of a sudden yesterday he tells me that he wants to be friends. So, let me know what you think. Thanks guys. Well I mean, this is not just the friend zone. This is like you started out in the dating zone and then got put in the, is, is that what being friends zone can also just mean I’m interested in somebody, but they just immediately redirect the friends. That’s usually never dated about the friend zone. The fact that you dated and then you basically, he broke up with you and did it in a nice way is what it sounds like. Uh, Jenna, you really want to say something and I really want you to do it as well. Yeah, I don’t know the situation, um, you can be friends with someone after that, uh, but I don’t think there’s any going back. No. It’s either you’ve been dumped, and he’s done it in a polite way, and doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, so he said, let’s just be friends. So now it’s in her court if she wants to remain friends, or if she’s like, I can’t, I can’t be around this person. I think you should start, like, Giving him gifts, like an air fryer. Yeah, that’s a good one. Probably, um Showing up at his house unexpectedly? Yeah. With notes. Notes. That’s gonna help. Um Yeah, you need to rip the band aid off here. Yeah, give him band aids. Just use band aids. And rip them off him. I just think that this whole I’m not gonna Listen, I’m not one of those guys that says that men can’t be friends with women. Because That’s not true, but it is very difficult for two people to be friends after they were romantically involved. And this doesn’t sound like this was a like long term relationship where you’re like, you know what? We’re gonna be seeing each other or whatever. So let’s just be friends. Let’s keep it. This sounded like it. I don’t know the circumstances. But if it was like the only reason for your interaction was Potentially romantic, and then he basically makes it into a friend zone situation. You just step out of the friend zone. You don’t need that friend. You don’t need that friend, right? Yeah, if you’re wanting more and it ain’t gonna happen, I’m gonna give you a song to listen to. George Strait sang, uh, Nobody in his right mind would have left her. It’s got that country, turn a phrase, right and left. That’s what you, you need to move on in such a way that like if he were to notice he has this clarity that he made a bad choice, but you got to move on. And then you got to, you, you got to, you got to show him what he’s got your number. He got it. You know, you got, and then when you, when you’re on a, when you’re on your next hot date and you happen to run into him in the, um, in the TJ Maxx, which Is one of the hottest dates I can imagine off the top of my head for some reason. You know, the hot TJ Maxx date. You get a good deal. Um, they might have a doormat that says, I’m not a doormat. For a good price. And he’s walking by and he’s like, wow. Oh, what is that doormat saying? And then he looks up and he realizes that it’s you. But it’s not the you that he knew. It’s the new you. That he wishes he was with. Make him beg for it. Make him lose his backbone over it. But, this is good advice, because– Thank you. Desperation is not attractive. Right? If, if, so, when you ask, how do I get out of the friend zone? It’s like, is there– Presperation. Is there something I can do to change his mind at this point? Uh, possibly. But it would necessarily require starting the relationship off in a place of like desperation and compromise in which you like, you don’t, you just don’t want to have to talk somebody into you, right? You don’t want to have to talk somebody into you. You want to have to maybe like talk them out of you. Mm hmm. You know, it’s like, I think that’s as simple as it is. I like it. There’s a theme emerging in this episode. If you’re on the prairie though. Oh, what? Like if you’re on the prairie. Yeah I’m just saying in the modern world, back in the prairie days, when there was like one girl in town that you were completely infatuated with, I think In those days, you might desperately try to talk your way into a relationship with her, because it could be like Because who else are you going to take to the barn dance? Yeah, right. So, there have been many people who have desperately talked their way into relationships that probably ended up working out okay, but in the prairie days. Right. So, post prairie days, I think that you definitely don’t want a relationship to start in this way. Yep. But a good barn dance is only rivaled by a TJ Maxx shopping spree, so keep that in mind. One more thing to consider, I think, if she wants to get out of the friend zone, stop being friends with him. Stop giving your time to him. Oh yeah. When you stop giving your time to him, if he suddenly realizes, No, I still want her around, and blah, blah, blah. Mm hmm. Set those boundaries. Yeah. And that is the theme that has emerged in this wonderful Ear Biscuit that we’ve created together. All of us. Is principles. Like, living by a code that’s, it’s, boundaries are included, but it’s also like, this is, these are things that I’ve decided that I’m not gonna do. These are the things that I decided I am going to do, and this is who I’ve decided I’m going to be in certain situations. And I’m making up my mind ahead of time, and I don’t have to explain myself because I’ve convinced myself. The only person you really have to convince of something is yourself. The only person you can convince of something is yourself. What? Okay, is that a question mark? That’s not true. You can convince other people of things, right? No, you can’t. You can only influence. Ah! So you didn’t make that up? No. Mel Robbins did. Okay. Love Mel Robbins. Yes. Alright. Well, there it is. I mean, that’s a good, put that on your backdoormat. Okay, there’s a back, I mean. What, you laughed at me saying backdoor? Yes, I’m sorry. Tattoo that on your backdoor. This is a backdoormat. I’m a child. The only person you can convince is yourself. If you want to leave us a voicemail, we’ll listen to it, and boy will we talk about it. 1 888 EARPOD1 We value your contribution and just hanging out with us. We’ll talk at you when? Next week. Yep. Hi Rhett and Link, uh, Alyssa here. Um, thank you guys just so much for existing. Um, my son was recently hospitalized in the ICN in San Francisco for six months and, um, Good Mythical Morning got me through every day. I would watch it at his bedside every morning, um, and it was just a laugh that I needed during those really dark times. We’re home now and he’s doing good, but every time I listen to the podcast or watch an episode, I’m just reminded that you guys got me through that. Um, thank you. Love you.