Welcome to “Ear Biscuits,” the podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time. I’m Link. And I’m Rhett. This week at the round table of dim lighting, we’re doing what we always do. We’re talking to each other and talking to you. And you’re doing what you always do, which is listen. And the window on this arrangement is closing. Yep. I always ask this question while we’re rolling instead of before we’re rolling. How many more do we have? Including this one, four. Okay. Okay, well, we haven’t done this one yet, so we gotta include it. So we have four left. This is four. Four left until we say goodbye for now. On this podcast. But hello in every other place that we still are. Hello in every other place. I wanted to get to a voicemail that… A lot of, what’s the word I’m looking for? Chatter? We got chatter happening because I dropped like a little bit of a story on “Good Mythical Morning.” And I think we both thought that you had maybe told this story before, but apparently a lot of people do not know it. I know. Let’s hear the voicemail. Hey, Rhett and Link, this is Kate, and I was watching the “Most Expensive Food at Costco” episode, and I was really fascinated by Link mentioning the story about how he took a blind woman to Costco. And I was wondering if he was able to elaborate on that story a little bit because I feel like a lot of people in the comment section had a lot of follow up questions and confusion. So yeah, thanks, guys. Bye. I don’t think the story was that I took a blind woman to Costco. I might have said that in the episode. I definitely, I mean, I know that I mentioned that I took a blind woman to Wisconsin. But I didn’t say Costco. Well, ’cause the conversation was that you said something about if you were to stretch Wisconsin out, it would be bigger than Texas, which I still don’t believe is true. Right, ’cause you said it’s flat, and I was like, “No, there’s all types of hills.” I’ve driven a blind woman through there and I’ve seen that. And there were lots of hills. And of course you knew what I was talking about. Yeah. ‘Cause I’ve told you this story. I wasn’t present for it though. And then, I mean, we even got, we did an AMA on The Society and everybody there was asking. It’s like, well, on The Society, the people, they tend to like know the lore and they go a little bit deeper. So I was surprised that even there, and I was like, use Searchicality. I mean, I know I’ve told this story. But it didn’t come up in Searchicality. Oh, so you Searchicalitied it? I didn’t, but other people in the AMA did. Of course, Searchicality is the fan created, searchable- Database of everything ever said on “Good Mythical Morning.” And- And “Ear Biscuits.” “Ear Biscuits.” “Ear Biscuits.” Anything we’ve ever said on the internet. But so why did it not come up? I don’t know. Because I know for a fact I’ve told this story, but I’m gonna tell it again. And I’m not gonna tell it as good because I remember less than the last time I told it. But it’s good for me- That’s why you tell the story again. To tell the story again, because it is a very fond memory of me and the blind woman who I will call Miss… I called her Miss… You’ve forgotten her name. How sad. I think her name was Miss Ollis. Ollis? Ollis, like- Hollis without an H? H-O-L-L-I-S. Oh. Why are you not singing the H? Because it’s silent. No, it’s not. Just like her eyes. It’s not herb. Her eyes are silent. No, her eyes couldn’t see. It’s a different- Yeah, but colloquially, you know what I’m saying. Yeah, I don’t like mixing senses for metaphors. She was a wonderful person. And I met her through Todd at NC State. Right. Long time friend. Todd was a mentor figure of ours. We can just, I mean, we can leave it at that for the time being. And he said, “I’m leaving for the summer. “Link, I know you’re gonna be here for the summer.” This is the summer that you were gone, that Christy was gone. This is the summer before our senior year. And I was taking summer classes. I was going to the gym. I was hanging out with my friend Newkirk. We were eating Chinese food. And I was picking up a blind lady and taking her home from her job at the, as a professor of some sort at the School for the Blind in Raleigh, which was a neighboring school to NC State. Huh. Most of the people who go there are in some way seeing impaired. Okay. Now, she, as I said, was a professor of some sort. Sweet, older lady. I would say in her… I feel like early 60s. Okay. Proceed. I’m gonna see. I mean, she could have been older than that. I didn’t know her. Didn’t know her at all. But I was like, sure, you know what, I’ll take a shift taking her home once out of the week. And there were other people who picked her up and took her home too. Drove her around, whatever she needed. So I was happy to do that, happy to help. Didn’t get paid. It was all volunteer. Okay. I can’t find on the internet, but… Okay. It’s better that way. Are you saying you don’t believe me? You could be making it all up. Yeah. I could be making all this up. You could be wrong about her name. Maybe she’s, you know, I don’t- I definitely could be wrong about her name. So yeah, I would pick her up once a week for the summer, and I would park in the same place. She would come out to me and she would get in the car. In my Nissan pickup. And I would take her home. We’d have great conversations. How many times a week? One time of the week. So she had different people? Different people. And maybe she asked this to all the people who were taking her home, but one day after, you know, a few weeks of me taking her home and just having friendly conversations, she said, “I have won a prize. “I’ve won a trip anywhere in the continental US.” I don’t remember how she won it, but she won this trip for anywhere, for two. And I said, “Oh, well, where you gonna go?” Can’t go to Alaska. Can’t go to Hawaii. Not Continental US. Right. Lower 48. Still plenty of places to go. She was like, “I want to go to Wisconsin. “If you stretch it out, it’s as long as Texas.” Right. She didn’t say that. Yep. Because it’s not true. But she said- Not even close. I want to go to Wisconsin and I want to visit an old friend of mine. Old in both senses. This is an elderly woman who she hasn’t seen in a really long time because neither one of ’em travel. She’s like, “This is what I want to do. “I want to go to like, “basically the middle of nowhere Wisconsin for my prize, “but I need someone to go with me “’cause ideally I wouldn’t travel alone. “I don’t like to travel alone ’cause of my impairment.” She was not 100% blind. She could see some movement. Okay. She had a little bit of ability to discern some stuff visually. Okay. Not much though. Definitely not enough to drive or pilot a plane, I guess. Right. Yeah. Or to like navigate uncertain and unfamiliar areas like- Wisconsin. Well, airports. Oh, okay. And Wisconsin. So I was like, well, free ticket to Wisconsin. I have a friend in Wisconsin. The year before when I spent the summer in Santa Cruz on what is called summer project. You meet students from all around the country. And I met this guy, Matt, who ended up being one of my roommates. We were good friends. We kept in touch over the course of the year. I was like, “Well, you know what, I’ll fly with you. “I’ll be your flying companion, “and then I’ll see that you get to your friend. “And then I’ll get to see my friend “once you’re with your friend, “and then I’ll come back and get you.” So that was the plan. We flew to Wisconsin. I guess I had had a late night. I didn’t get a lot of sleep, but I had to get up early. And, you know, she wanted to get to the airport really early, which is not my- She had chosen you as the transportation. Which is bad. But I was like- No, I will say, there’s been multiple versions of Link, and college Link was seven times more responsible than current Link. That’s true. Just some people need to understand that. That is true. His responsibility has plummeted with age. In ways that confuse all of us. It’s not as worth it as it used to be. Okay. All right. The stakes aren’t as high anymore. Okay. I mean, I’m not walking around… Blind people aren’t dependent on me. Yeah. I mean, no blind person would ask you to do this at this point, just so you know. Like, this was the window in which- I was a good little boy. In which it made sense. For the most part. But you’re about to tell us why it wasn’t the best idea. There’s still an indication that things were unraveling for me. Right. I mean, I pick her up really early. We go to the airport really early. We’re like checked in. We’re sitting there really early. You know, she… I’m not critiquing her, but she walks slow. Okay. You know? Yeah, it sounds like you’re judging her a little bit. Why would I critique a blind woman for walking slow? Great question. I’m just saying… Why did I say that? Because everything… Like, my level of alertness had to be really high, and my patience had to be really high. Right. Because everything’s different. Everything’s… Well, it was a good lesson for me. Yeah. But it was exhausting. But it was a good lesson, to be the companion of a blind person. I mean, we get on the plane. I guess I didn’t sleep on the plane because I think she talked to me the whole time. Oh. And again- That’s tough for you. We were quite good friends. Right. But… You’d obviously had some good conversation with her because she chose you- She liked me. Amongst the people who took her home. Yeah, of all the people who said yes. I might have been the only one. Well, she may have asked… I mean, what day were you? Friday? I’m gonna say I’m Thursday. Okay. So she probably started with Monday. Right. I did get a sense that if I didn’t say yes, she wasn’t gonna be able to go on this trip. I mean, she did make it seem that way. So I was like, I’ll do this for her. Yeah. And I didn’t have anything to do. And it was, you know, the week between my two summer sessions. I had two weeks. Spent a week in Wisconsin, and then the next week I went to Nashville without her. After I brought her home. Spoiler alert, we survived. Okay. Yeah. Her friend actually drove to the airport and picked us up. But she was so old that she said, “I don’t want to drive back. “I don’t feel comfortable doing this. “It took everything I had to pick y’all up at the airport.” So I was like, “Well, okay, I’ll drive your car.” So now she’s picked us up, and I’m driving this woman’s old mobile. This woman who I don’t know. And I mean, she was in her, she could have been 80. Okay. She could have been 85. All right. She’s old. Like, almost too old to drive. She wasn’t old enough to drive to the airport, but she was too old to drive from the airport. Right. Yes. I had to take over. Yeah. So she’s sitting in the passenger seat, and my companion is sitting in the back seat, and the luggage is everywhere. And we’re driving, and it’s a long drive. I mean, definitely over an hour. Okay. It’s like a couple hours to drive out of the metropolis into the countryside. And again, it’s hilly, and it’s beautiful. Rolling hills. It’s great. But I was getting sleepy. I was getting sleepy, dude. And she’s talking and talking and talking to her friend. And I’m listening and listening and listening. But it was just kind of like so much talking and talking and talking and like so many hills and hills and hills. And nobody was talking to me. Uh-oh. They were catching up. Recipe for disaster. And so like, it just became kind of mesmerizing, these beautiful hills and this… But the road was pretty straight. I started nodding off. And of course my companion, I didn’t expect her to notice, she’s in the back seat and she’s blind. Yeah. But in the passenger seat, I got this woman who damn, is she legally blind? ‘Cause she’s not noticing it. They wasn’t noticing. Are you hitting the rumble strips? I don’t think I hit rumble strips, but like I did the like the head jerk. ‘Cause usually everybody notices if you hit the rumble strips. Yeah. Right. That’s kind of the, that’s the point. There may not have been rumble strips. There’s not always rumble strips. No. There needed to be rumble strips. And I’m like, well damn, I’m gonna kill this blind woman and her old friend. Yeah, but they- And myself! They lived a good life. Yeah, I mean, this is a great way to go out. Like, winning a prize and all. Yeah, winning a prize in Wisconsin. This does not need to be how we go out. But like… I’m like, oh shit. I was like, “You know what, how much further are we from your house?” And I don’t know. It was long enough that I’m like, “We need to pull over. “Y’all mind if we pull over? “I just need to, I need to stretch my legs.” I need to slap my face. Maybe drink a Mountain Dew. Did you tell ’em that you were a little sleepy? Uh-uh. Okay. I should have, but I don’t know. I didn’t want to make them feel scared. Right. I just didn’t want to, you know? I didn’t want them to drive. Right. But I felt like sleepy me was still a better option than like- It’s questionable. Like, elderly woman who might not need her license anymore or legally blind woman. Like, I mean, the options aren’t great any way you look. We know who last place is, but first place, I don’t know. I don’t know. I was just like, you know what, we’ll pull over. I’ll get a drink. I’ll splash some water on my face. This’ll be fine. But there’s nowhere to pull over. And I’m like, okay, here we go. Finally, somewhere to pull over. I mean, I nodded off again and again, even after making the decision to pull over, I believe. And I’m like, “Okay, we’re gonna pull over here.” We pull over on the side of the road, and it is a petting zoo. Huh. On the side of the road. And I’m like, “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.” This seems perfect. Why don’t we go to this petting zoo? That’ll give me more time to, you know, wake up. There’s a vending machine here. They got a Mountain Dew in it. So I park on the gravel. When you suggested this, what did they say? This is like a roadside attraction. But what did they say? Well, okay, I guess. They went along with it. I don’t remember what they said, but they went along with it. It wasn’t like, “No, we’d really like to get home.” And I’m like, “Well, I’d really like for you to pet these llamas. “I think there’s a llama here.” Yeah. Don’t you wanna? Don’t you wanna pet the llama? Right. There might have been negotiation. I don’t remember. But I think I was probably adamant enough about it, they were like, “Okay. “We’ll go to the petting zoo.” Just like- It’s a dream of yours to pet a llama. There might have been four other cars there. This is not a big endeavor. Again, I had to get a drink out of a vending machine. It wasn’t like there was a counter selling t-shirts and Starbucks or anything. Right. So then I’m walking around slapping my face, drinking my Mountain Dew. Petting? I petted a llama. Was it only llamas? They were kind of walking around doing their thing. And I was literally just trying to like get the blood flowing and just, I was like, I cannot kill these women. Right. So we got back in the car, might have been 30 minutes or so, it might have been 40. I felt like I could make it, and I did. I made it. Made it to the house. They put me up for the night. And she had a couple of guest rooms in her house. But the room that I was in, she was like, “Make yourself at home.” And I go in there and there’s a bed with a bedspread on it. And I quickly discover she has cats. And this is apparently the cat’s bed. Like a human bed, yes. A double bed, but completely coated in cat hair. Ooh. Like, it was like, there was some sort of nuclear fallout, but the only thing that fell out was cat hair. Ah. And it was just like, it was just like a snow of it. And it wasn’t the type, it felt like I could scrape it and like start to get it to come up. But there was so much of it. I just said, well, you know what, I’m just gonna roll it back. I rolled the comforter back like a bed roll and just exposed the sheets and there wasn’t any cat hair under there. So I just crawled under there and then I rolled it back up over me. Yeah, it’s like a blanket made outta cat here. Yeah. Which it seems like it could be something. And I was like, it’s just one night. I’m sleeping here. And then I’m trying to… I’m getting into bed. I’m gonna listen to music and just be depressed ’cause I’m not with Christy and I’m falling deeply in love with her without realizing it and deciding that I’m gonna ask her to marry me. This was the summer of all that happening. And I’m laying in this cat hair bed and then all of a sudden I hear… ♪ I’m already there ♪ ♪ Take a look around ♪ It’s some country music. And my window was open. And so I realized that there is a outdoor venue, like an amphitheater near her house. And it’s that band Lonestar. Yeah. Remember Lonestar? Yeah. Well, they were on their way out by this point. This was not a big venue. This was kind of like, but it was July. Not July 4th weekend, but the time before. You know, anyway, they weren’t as popular, but I could hear ’em. I could hear them performing- Well, that’s pretty cool. Most of the night. At least for the first few hours. I get up the next morning and I go to, I don’t know how I got there. I think my friend came and picked me up. He drove all the way out from Madison to pick me up in the middle of nowhere and then drove me back to his place. And I stayed there for like five or six days while my friend stayed with her friend. Right. And then I came back. I stayed one more night in the cat bed. And then we flew back, and everything was fine. I picked her up a few more times, and then the summer was over and Todd came back, and I never saw her again. Oh wow. That’s sad. It’s not sad. We had our moment. Okay. We had our moment, and it was over. You know? I was her seeing eye dog. My dog. I was her dog. You know? Seeing eye dawg, with a W in there. You know what I’m saying? Were you really, you know- So I have a really- You gave her an experience. Yeah. You could have given her, I mean, if things had have gone sideways on that first trip from the airport… Yeah, that was just… I mean, you’re nodding off and then I nod off and I look over to see if anybody notices. Then I’m driving, and I’m nodding off again. I’m like, see if anybody notices. Nobody notices. Yeah. Nobody notices. Cover’s pretty strong. Here’s the thing about nodding off these days- Yeah, I know. You got cars that stay in the lane for you. They kind of encourage it. Self-driving. And I’m not gonna lie to you, my last two cars have had self-driving features, and there have been times when I’m so tired that just for like a, if I’m on like a highway, if I’m on like a big road, I’ll just be like, I’m just gonna rest my eyes for just… Now I’ve done that. Hold on, but then your car will tell you, it sees you ’cause there’s a camera on you. So the car says, “Ah ah ah! “Don’t do that.” Attention deficit. And so I put my sunglasses on. Sunglasses. Can’t- It can’t see through the sunglasses. Can’t see your eyes are closed through the sunglasses. Yeah, yeah. And so I don’t go for long. I mean, I’m talking like, maybe my record of having my eyes rested is 30 seconds. And again, I’m in self-driving mode. You know, it’s not super risky. Yeah. But I do it just because- That moment that you decide to just close your eyes for a second, don’t, don’t. I mean, people die left, right, and center doing that. Yeah, but I’m saying I only do it in self-driving mode. And also I’ve never once fallen asleep and like, I don’t nod off. I’m just like, man, it’s getting really hard to, let me just… Just let my eyes close for a second. I’m like not going to sleep. I just let my eyes close. And my head’s not going anywhere. And then I’m like, okay, they feel less heavy, and I open my eyes and I keep going. And there’s a couple of times in my life, especially before self-driving where I felt that way and I pulled over. You gotta pull over. Took a- Even with self-driving. If I’m nodding off, I’m pulling over, taking a 15, 20 minute power- Petting some llamas. Power nap, just power nap. I have gotten in the habit of engaging the, it’s not self-driving on my car. It’s just intelligent cruise control. So it will not rear end the person in front of you, subject to this cruise you’ve set. It will subject to different intervals of space. You know what I’m saying. Whatever that’s called. Adaptive cruise control. Adaptive. So what I’ll do is I try to turn that on and use it as a safety feature so that on my commute, if I do happen to look down at the music or something, I’m then told, hey, you need to stop. You need to make the decision to stop if there’s somebody in front of you stopping. Technically it is probably already built into your car. It’s built in- Even without cruise control. It’ll give an alert. It’ll give an alert, but I don’t think it will break. My car will break, and it will break in such a way that- It’ll wake you up. You think you’ve hit something. I hate that. It’s so scary. ‘Cause there’s been a couple times, and I’m literally in the process of stopping, but I’m trying not to stop in such a aggressive way that like things fall out of the back. Yeah. But it thinks that it’s getting close, and so it just like slams on the brakes. Yeah. It makes you feel a little bit safe that like the car is keeping you from wrecking. Christy’s car, it will slam on brakes if it thinks you’re really about to hit something. So I guess my car would do that too. I just haven’t gotten that close. But our driveway is angled such that when you hit the main street, it goes. And I hate this. Sometimes I’ll be driving her car and it will think that it’s gonna hit the ground. And then it makes you think you’ve hit something. And then it slams on brakes. And it is the scariest, and it makes a beeping sound. Yeah. And if there’s people in the car, ’cause I usually only drive Christy’s car when there’s other passengers. You know, I never drive it alone. And every time it happens, everybody in the car immediately thinks it’s my fault. Dad! What? Link. It’s like, what? It’s the car, guys. It’s not me! Yeah. The car did that! This time it’s the car’s fault. The car thought that the street was coming at it. Thought it was gonna hit the street. Yeah, this happened to me outta my driveway as well. It’s so annoying to be blamed for that. Like, do you think I would ever slam on brakes at the, after just starting to exit my driveway? Why would I do that to y’all? Why? What do you believe about me that you think that I did that? Right. The car did that. Eh… You know? Well, they had reason to believe it was you. I mean, that’s happened to me with my family and they’ve never blamed me. Okay. Well, you know, you raise the bar to walk effortlessly underneath. Right, right. I guess, is what I’ve done. But it just, it goes to show you by way of segue to our ad that sleep is important. This is a good segue. Being rested, being bright-eyed and bushy tailed is important. It’s so important. Speaking of… Oura Ring is our sponsor. Oura. The maker of Oura Ring is technically our sponsor. You know we’re big fans. We’re gonna talk to you a little bit about these rings. We’re such big fans that we invested- That’s right. In Oura Ring. And we each wear an Oura Ring. And let’s see how bright-eyed and bushy tailed we actually are. Okay. Now I knew that we were gonna be doing this, so last night- Oh, you did? Seriously? Last night I said to myself, I want to have a good sleep score when we do this. And so I got in bed at 10 o’clock, which is early for me. Okay. And I winded down. I didn’t look at my phone. I read a book. And I’m gonna tell you right now, both my readiness score and my sleep score has a crown on top of it, meaning- Oh crap. I’m the king- All right, let’s just talk- Of sleep. Let’s just talk about sleep here. What is your sleep score? 91. What? 91! Dude. You did it just to beat me today? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a 79, which is good. Good amount of sleep. You got enough sleep last night. Well done. My total sleep last night was seven hours, 52 minutes. And that’s not in bed, that’s actually sleeping. Yeah, mine was seven and a half hours, which is really good for me. Anytime over seven for me is great. Deep sleep was 19 minutes for me. 4%. Oh, mine was an hour and 26 minutes. You did not get deep sleep. I did not go deep. What did you do? And the deep sleep usually happens for me at the beginning of the night. I think that I ate too much too late. I thought about this. Because of all of this, I said to myself, I’m gonna eat, and I ate at like 5:30. You get the idea. You see, all of this information is being tracked from your fingertip effortlessly. I do nothing. I do nothing. I just have the ring on. And then I open up the app the next morning, and I feel empowered and I have this information, and I can compare it with my friend, and I can make him feel better about himself. It does kind of tap, it taps into your natural competitiveness, not just with your friend, but also with yourself. Mm-hmm. So the feedback loop is a positive one because being active is important, so is rest, not just for your physical health, but for your mental health. Yeah, so join the over 1 million active members today by clicking the link in the description to make health and wellness a daily practice at ouraring.com/ear. That’s ouraring.com/ear. Check it out. Okay, let’s get another voicemail. Hey, guys, my name is Kathy. I’m from Iowa. And I have a fun little game for you to try. It’s called the Florida Man Horoscope. So you Google the word “Florida man” with the day and month of your birthday and just see what pops up. My birthday is December 15th and mine is, “Florida man arrested, “allegedly struck wife with Christmas tree “after asked to help make dinner.” Let’s see what you guys get. Love you guys. Love everything you do. Bye. Thanks. What about a Christmas tree? Allegedly struck wife with Christmas tree- Oh, okay. After being asked to make dinner. Well, allegedly. Allegedly. So dude allegedly picked up a Christmas tree and walloped his wife with it? That’s not… That’s not easier than making dinner. That’s harder than making dinner. How many Christmas trees do you have at your house? ‘Cause I think we both have quite a few. I mean, Jessie has found a way to put a Christmas tree up in every room, and some of ’em are small, and I think I could hit her with a really tiny one. I wouldn’t under any circumstances. Okay, yeah. That’s a good point. Any circumstances. You make a couple of good points. So first of all, you wouldn’t hit your wife and you haven’t, and you’re also saying you haven’t. I would not hit my wife, period, which also includes I would not hit my wife with a Christmas tree. But also you haven’t. If she got rabies or something- Oh, okay. Good point. And it was untreatable, end of the world situation and she came at me- Foaming at the mouth. I might defend myself with a Christmas tree. But I don’t think I would, I would not instigate a hit of any kind. Right. Maybe you just get her to bite the Christmas tree. Like, put it in her mouth, kinda like you would some sort of hippo that you are defending yourself from. Right. Right. Please don’t tell her that I compared her to a hippo. Yeah. I won’t. I don’t want her coming for me. I don’t want that mouth foam coming my direction. So I guess I was trying to say I could relate, but actually I can’t relate. I cannot relate to this man at all. Let me see what happens when I search up mine. Okay. Oh, you’re gonna do it yourself? Mm-hmm. I asked Jamie to do it for me because I’m not as reliable as I used to be. I’m not driving blind women around anymore. You know? I would be open to it. I’d be open to it. There’s a freedom in blind companionship, you know? It’s by definition a deeper relationship. You know, it’s more substantive, you know? Where did the Costco part come from? Do we know? The episode was Costco. Oh, okay. And- That’s why I was like, I thought- There was just some… And I just made the offhanded remark, something about… Something about Wisconsin. I don’t even know. That’s how we got there. Okay, I thought you took a blind woman to Costco. No. Uh-uh. I would never do that. That’s too far. I would never do that to anybody. Wisconsin, yes. Costco, no. Like, the bulk, the sheer bulk nature of it is too. I wouldn’t want to expose anybody to that. Yeah. I’ve got a good one here. It’s just traumatizing. Too much stuff in boxes. “Florida man accused of forcing small alligator “to drink beer.” What? Okay, so what? Just say that again. That’s delightful. “Florida man accused of forcing small alligator “to drink beer.” Accused. So first of all, maybe he didn’t. Allegedly. Yeah. Forcing. Well, it’s a one minute read at- Read it. At boston.com. October 11th, 2019. Why is this on boston.com? Well, I don’t know. “Authorities say they’ve arrested a Florida man “who provoked a small alligator into biting his arm “and poured beer into the animal’s mouth “News outlets report 27-year-old Timothy Kepke “and 22-year-old Noah Osborne,” shout out Timothy and Noah, “were charged last week with unlawfully taking an alligator. “Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officers “began investigating in August “following a complaint of Osborne catching the alligator “in Palm City and handing it to Kepke. “Kepke appears in the video “to let the reptile bite his forearm. “The video also shows Kepke feeding the alligator beer “as it struggles. “When officers interviewed Kepke last month, “he reportedly acknowledged that he was in the video “and said the gator was alive when they released it. “The men were released on bond. “Jail records didn’t list attorneys for them.” So that’s all we know about that situation. So the part that puzzles me is that he got the alligator to bite him. I think he was a small one, and he was like, “Hey man, I bet you this thing could bite “and it won’t even hurt that much and will give it beer.” Yeah. As a reward. Or was the beer to get him to let go having bit him? You know, if you pour beer over an alligator, does he let go? Or is that a snapping turtle? I don’t know how they respond to beer to be honest with you. But you thought about it for a second. If you give… If you give a beer to a snapping turtle, it’s kind of like if you give a muffin, if you give a moose a muffin. You’re right in there. You’re close. Right? You’re almost there. If you give a… What? I don’t know. Moose a muffin is great. Are you thinking of mouse a cookie? Yeah, the child- Oh yeah, if you give a mouse a cookie. There you go. If you give a mouse a cookie, he’ll give a moose- A muffin. A muffin. There’s a sequel. You didn’t know about the sequel? I didn’t know about the sequel. You think I’m lying. There’s a “If You Give a Moose a Muffin.” Okay. Google it. If you give a mouse a cookie- Listen, you’ve read all the- He’ll want more. There is. There is “If You Give a Moose a Muffin.” Yes! Yeah, there you go. Ha ha! I was like, you got kids. Don’t doubt me! Don’t doubt me! Leader of blind people! She made a lot of books. What happens if you give a moose a muffin? If you give a moose- Chaos. Chaos. They charge you. Now, this is an adult book, I will say that. Adult moose? Yeah, no it’s for adults only. Is it a sex book? Yeah. “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” is for kids. And then “If You Give a Moose a Muffin” is for adults only. Can I tell you another story that popped up under this same search? I will say that it pops up under the October 11th search. Okay. But it apparently happened on February 9th. But I feel like I have to mention it because it’s “Florida man threw live gator “into Wendy’s drive-through window.” Oh my god. Threw him in the window. Uh-huh. And this is Joshua James, 24. Again, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation officials, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation official, that might be one of the most interesting jobs in America. Yeah. ‘Cause you think you’re going into conservation to like keep up with the wildlife and the population and predators and stuff. No, you’re responding to reports of 20-year-old men using gators in ways that gators shouldn’t be used. Right. Your main job is sobering up gators. Well, we don’t know what it got into in the Wendy’s. It probably got into some nuggets. Okay. They don’t have beer at Wendy’s. I mean… It does beg the question, if you’re gonna, you know, if you’re gonna throw a gator in your window, what are you getting at? That’s a joke. It’s an innuendo. Innuendo. Okay. Okay, so- Jamie, you have, can you look mine up? Yes. Or have you already? Yes. Okay. So there’s a theme here about alligators. It says, “Florida man killed in possible alligator attack “while searching the lake for Frisbees.” This is June 1st? Mm-hmm. Florida man killed in alligator attack when searching for used Frisbees? Searching the lake for Frisbees. The lake for Frisbees. Now I kind of understand this ’cause- Yeah. Lakes got lots of Frisbees. Especially if it’s next to a proper Frisbee course. Now don’t call it that because they’re gonna come for you. Disc golf? Disc golf. Disc golfers, they don’t- Well, I’m not one of them. It’s not a Frisbee. And I don’t wanna be part of their community. It’s not a Frisbee. I wanna play occasionally. But I don’t want to get serious about it. I don’t want to carry the Frisbees in a satchel while I play. The journalist is throwing shade at the disc golf community with this. It’s interesting because it says- Catching strays. Yeah, it says, “Investigators believe the victim was looking for Frisbees “sometime during the night when an alligator attacked him.” Maybe it’s just two friends throwing Frisbees. And, you know, sometimes you get outta control. Remember, we used to throw Frisbees a lot. Our main- We called it Frisbee golf when we did. No, our main pastime in college was we would go out onto that little patch of grass behind our apartment where someone might shoot at rabbits through an open window. I wouldn’t. Wasn’t me. And it wasn’t you. And we would throw Frisbees out there. That was one of the main things we did with our lives. But we also did get into what we called Frisbee golf ’cause there was a course in Raleigh and we would go. And you know who got us into that? Todd. Todd. Todd got me into Frisbee and blind chauffeur. Right. I’m sure he got me into other things besides Frisbee. So I think that maybe this is just two guys throwing Frisbee back and forth, just being buddies. It goes in the lake. It’s dark. Yeah. Man, what am I- Could happen to anybody. What am I supposed to do? You expect me to go out… What, you want me to go to Sky City and get you another Frisbee? You want me to go to the big five and get you another Frisbee? What you want me to do? Well, Walgreens might have ’em actually, Not at this hour. Not at this hour! You know? And we can’t wait until tomorrow night. We gotta go in after this thing. We got plans tomorrow night. You threw it. You go in after it. You didn’t catch it. You know they were thinking- You go in after it. Well, in your scenario, they were playing catch, maybe they were. But it says he was going in for Frisbees. So maybe this is a, they’ve done this a number of times and it’s built up. He’s like, “We gotta go in there at some point. “Clean house.” People who scuba dive for golf balls. But, you know, when you get in a lake in Florida- You know there’s gonna be a gator. The chances of there being a gator. I mean, remember we went to that, we were in Orlando and we were working out of some office. I can’t remember what it was. Yeah. And there was a lake just right there in the office complex. Gator in the lake. Like, there’s a lake, a gator takes it. You can’t just go into lakes in Florida. No. Really South Georgia you can’t do it. Now this is June. So I was wondering, would this be the drunk gator, or I think from October to the next June, he’s definitely sobered up, unless he developed a problem. I think that little gator developed a drinking problem in October. And then he got big. Does it say how big the gator was? And how drunk he was? It does not say how big the gator was. Says that there was two gators found, that they’re not sure. It also says that the victim, Sean McGinnis was known to sell discs back to people within the park. And he was found within a few feet of a disc in the water. So it seems like he was kind of like- Did he die? Yeah. Oh, he died. He died. All right, so this is a disc golf scenario. He’s making a little scratch, living on the edge. It must have been a big gator. Oh man. That gator was hungry. Do you know how there was tales- Drunk hungry. Of alligators coming out to Cape Fear? Well, do you know, they found one. Alligators coming all the way up from Wilmington to where? The last I, somebody sent me an article about a gator getting all the way up to like where we would have been. No. Yeah. I gotta look at this because… While you look that up, I want to hear Jenna’s. Jenna, your birthday. Don’t tell me. July. No. May? May. I know it’s a summer one. It’s a summer one. May is spring. Yep. Spring. The beginning of summer. Summer’s not officially until June 21st. But I always think summer starts with your birthday. That’s what I’ve always thought. Always. Good old May… 20… 20… No. You know it? Mm-hmm. Well, Christy’s is May 13th. That’s correct. Pretty close to that. You can’t have that. May 12th. 11th, 10th. Yep. 10th. Yep. I remembered. You remembered. There you go. Beginning of summer, according to me. So what’s your Florida man? “Florida man fleeing from cops “attacked by alligator.” So yeah, we’re on an alligator- They’re everywhere! Yeah. Yeah. They’re all up in the headlines. Yep. Yep. My Florida man was pulled over at a traffic stop, but ran away. As he fled, attacked by alligator. Police later arrested him at the hospital where he was being treated for his wounds. Yeah. What a rude thing to do of that alligator, first of all. They must be everywhere. Well, they are showing up in Fayetteville area pools and yards. That’s crazy. So they’re coming all the way up to Fayetteville now. What? Which, I mean, that’s pretty, oh look, swimming pools and waterways as far north as Harnett County. What? Harnett County. So we were swimming in those rivers growing up all the time. What if we’d have seen an alligator? That would’ve been crazy! But here’s the thing. So my uncle- What is that? Uncle Herbert, he had a house on Kinchafoonee Creek. Kinchafoonee Creek in Georgia. Don’t know what a Kinchafoonee. And it was the kind of place where the river, the creek would be, I don’t know, 30 feet across. But people had houses on it. And people had boats, like real speed boats. And they would like fly down this creek. And we would swim off of his dock all the time. This is South Georgia. Swim off of his dock. Jump down in there. And then he would pull us behind his boat on a tube out in the wider part of the creek. That’s cool. And we would go past this spot, this swamp area. We’d be in the main part of the lake and then we’d go by the swamp, and we’d be on our tube just going by. And there’d be a bunch of alligators just over there in the swamp. And he’s like, “They stay over there.” He said, “We ain’t got nothing to worry about. “They stay over there.” But like, they don’t stay over there! Why would they just stay over there? I don’t know why he thought they just stayed over there. There was water moccasins and alligators everywhere, and we’re just out there swimming in it. It’s crazy. Yeah. I think down there skin’s thicker. You know? Skin gotta become more armor-like. Maybe that’s what they were doing. They were trying to, you know, you gotta harden yourself a little bit to it. You let a alligator bite you, you feed it beer, and you get arrested? I mean, those guys probably were thinking they were up for something, but it wasn’t an indictment. They probably thought they were up for some sort of recognition. Award. Well, they should have filmed it. Shouldn’t have done it. And shouldn’t have filmed it. Next voicemail. Hi, Rhett and Link. My name is Paula. I’ve been a fan since I was like seven years old. And I love you guys. I have a little bit of a relationship question, if you guys even answer this, but it’s about my boyfriend’s family being unclean. I don’t know how to tell him that it makes me uncomfortable to stay over at his house because there’s like, oh my gosh, speaking of, there’s a bug right there. There’s roaches in his house. And it makes me so scared. I hate bugs, and it’s just unclean. I’ll use the bathroom, and it’s like stinking, and I hate it. And yeah. Thank you. Oh, it sounds like somebody showed up. Yeah. Or else that roach started talking. At first, I thought she might be talking about ceremonial uncleanliness. Yeah. Unclean. My boyfriend’s family is so unclean. But this is not a spiritual thing. This is a literal… I mean, there are indications within this voicemail that maybe her sensitivities are heightened a little, maybe. I’m not gonna say overblown. But she’s sitting there leaving a voicemail and then she like catches, is she in her boyfriend’s house leaving the voicemail? Well, yeah. Is that what was happening? Yes. Sounds like it. She’s like, “Speaking of, there’s a bug right there.” There’s a bug right there. And then her boyfriend’s mom like walks in and she has to stop the voicemail. Oh, I’m talking about you on the internet. Mm. So you think she was seeing a bug there? Not like, just in her normal voicemail, living life in her own space, seeing a bug and freaking out? Well, I like to believe she was there. Okay. ‘Cause it makes it feel better. If she wasn’t, then she might have a bug phobia. And that’s, you can’t start blaming that on other people. But if you’re in a house and you’re seeing bugs, that’s not… I guess it’s a lifestyle. I guess there’s, you know, different people and different households and different, you’ve got different, you know- Standards. Well, you’ve got- Expectations. Yeah. Approaches. Yeah, it’s more of a culture, it’s a little subculture. And whatever you’re comfortable with in this little subculture of the people that you live under the same roof with, you might find people who just, they keep things a little dirtier, you know? My kids have lived in different places over the years, and I would help them move in, I would help them move out. And it’s one thing when you move out and you realize that like there was a bunch of like- Uncleanliness. Disturbing shit under and behind everything. But when you’re moving somebody in and you’re noticing it at that point, that’s different. That’s not starting off on the right foot. I may or may not have had a kid that I moved in and out of a place that I was concerned for the health viability of those who were staying there. But it wasn’t my place to say anything. So I didn’t. I think that’s the question here. I silently judged, and I minimized my time there. What do we do for, is it Paula? Mm-hmm. I feel like… Paula, unfortunately, I think that the way forward here is that you just have to grin and bear it. Take it. I don’t think that you can- Just take it on the chin. What you can say is, you can be like, “Your parents’ house is really dirty. “I don’t like staying there. “I want to minimize the amount of time we stay there. “But I understand that we can’t completely “not stay there or whatever.” But I don’t think what you can do is deliver a message to him that then he is expected to deliver to his family for them to like fundamentally change the way that they approach this stuff. It’s just like, this is part of the package that comes with your boyfriend is a dirty family house. Don’t make waves. Take it on the chin and be nice in the way you even talk to your boyfriend about it. And it’s like, you know, I have a thing with bugs and I’ve seen a bug there. I’ve seen some, I’ve seen multiple bugs. I saw one while I was leaving a voicemail for “Ear Biscuits.” I think what you gotta do is you gotta fortify your own being. You gotta see if you can just bear it, like you’re saying. This is an opportunity for growth, it really is. You know, I told, I told you that story about when we found the roach in the studio and I stepped on it and picked it up. I will let you know that I am scared of bugs as well. It’s just, I was on camera, I’m in performance mode. And so I stepped on it and picked it up. I would never do that at my house ’cause there’s no camera rolling. Yeah. What would you do at home? Scream and run. No, actually Jessie would scream. She would say, “Get that roach,” and I would feel an obligation to do it. And then I would- Paper towel. I would do it and I would be scared and I would be making little squealing noises while I was doing it. Would you paper towel? You put a paper towel down and then stomp on it and then pick it up? Have to see it. Well, just last night I was clean, oh, this is crazy. Cleaning out my closet. Thinning it out a little bit as we migrate from, you know, short sleeve to long sleeve predominance- Yes. In the closet. And as I was going through my jackets, I pulled out a jacket and a spider, a little spider. One of the quick ones. Like, runs up on, he like runs out of the jacket and gets up on the shoulder of the jacket. Oh, did he speak to you? Nope. But I spoke to him. Please, sir! And then I was like, the main thing I was thinking was, I can’t let this spider stay in the closet. Like, I have to get him out. And he went back, when I screamed, he went back into the coat. So I just picked the whole coat up and just threw it on the bathroom floor. And then I just opened it up and he crawled out and I hit him with a shoe. May he rest in pieces. He could have lived in that jacket. Who knows how long he was. You could have been walking around with a little spider, a pocket spider. Yeah, I know, but what I’m saying is I didn’t handle that well. No, you didn’t. But if my in-laws were dirty and the house was really dirty… Well, the story I was gonna tell was the, when I stepped on that thing, and I told that story about my dad’s friend who was a POW in ‘Nam and how he developed a party trick where he would just pick up a roach and eat it off the ground. Which seemed like a true story. It was. Okay. Because he was a POW and he ate roaches. He ate everything he could find. Oh God. And so he developed this ability to be like, there’s a roach, I’m gonna pick it up and eat it right here in front of everybody, and everybody will just… I don’t know what, I mean, I guess he got brownie points for doing that. Somebody was impressed. And that’s a true story. But what I’m saying is that your experiences change your perspective on this. So every time you go and stay at your boyfriend’s house, Paula… Just pretend you’re a POW. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that what you’re getting at? Essentially. Yeah. Existentially. Existentially. Yes. And you will maybe get to a point where it doesn’t bother you. And then maybe one day if you’re really good at it, you’ll be able to pick up a bug and eat it and impress people at a party. I’m gonna give you some practical advice. That wasn’t practical? I’m gonna add to Rhett’s practical advice with my own. Bring house shoes. That’ll make you feel a little more comfortable. Pack house shoes. Shoes that you only wear inside of their house. Maybe… I was gonna say rubber gloves, but that’s gonna be too obvious, unless they’re flesh colored. Maybe a full flesh colored hazmat suit. Flesh colored gloves and paint the nails on them. The same color as your nails underneath, and no one will notice. Put your ring on, like whatever rings you got- Over the glove. Put your ring on over the glove. Yeah, paint the nails of the glove. You might be able to go full latex all over your body. Yeah, you’re gonna have to go to like a sex shop for that. And then get one of those masks that’s a mold of your face that goes over. Like, Brian Cranston did that one time at Comic-Con where he was Walter White, and then he just sat down and he was Brian Cranston. You do that and so you have a full suit that you are in when you go to your boyfriend’s house. And they won’t know until you try to eat. When you try to eat through that mask, it’s gonna get weird. So don’t eat. Just be like, “Not hungry.” There’s not a hole in the mask? There is, but your mouth doesn’t really move. If you try to eat through a mask that looks like you- Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s gonna expose. There’s a mouth underneath the mask. It’s gonna expose the- You can’t do that. Like when Tom Cruise in that “Mission Impossible” wore that mask. Yes. He didn’t eat. Can’t eat. He ate before and he ate after. You can have a smoothie via straw. Okay. You can say, “Could you please smooth that?” Yeah. Could you please smoothie the meal? And if your in-laws have any like little alligators there and they bite you, they’re just gonna, they’re gonna think they’re ripping through flesh, but they’re not. Right. So a little added protection there. Good luck. You’re gonna need it. Hey, Rhett and Link, this is Grace. Long time listener, first time caller. Well, I’ve called several times trying to get in a good question before “Ear Biscuits” is over indefinitely. And I wanted to know, I am apprenticing to be a licensed funeral director and embalmer, currently. Yes. I’m 23, and I’ve been working on it for a little bit. And a lot of people will tell me that it’s a calling. They think it’s a little weird, but they’ll be like, “Well, somebody’s gotta do it.” You know, that type of thing. And my question to you two is, do y’all think you would make good funeral directors/embalmers, mortician type thing? My name’s Grace. Putting it at the end there, so you’ll remember. And thanks so much. Love you guys. Grace, you made it. Your voicemail made it into the show. Yes. Before the break. Aren’t you so happy? And you’re doing a, you’re doing, somebody’s gotta do it. You’re doing something somebody’s gotta do. You’re draining the blood out of humans, and you’re replacing it with embalming fluid. People are not in great shape when they die, more often than not. You’re not working with like… It’s not like you’re a fitness trainer to like, you know, celebrities. You’re working with dead people, and they’re dead for a reason. That’s the thing that concerns me. Because if they were all like pristine specimens and they all died from something that I don’t have to worry about. So if they were all hot, you’d be into it? It sounds like that’s what I’m saying. That’s not where I thought we were landing, but, you know- Hey, “we” is not part of this. Sometimes you take off, and you don’t know your destination. We is not part of this. I guess you’ve helped me see that that is what I’m saying. If everyone was hot when they died, I’d be into it. Okay. Just… Just the maiming of it all. I’m not comfortable with- Maimed people. Maimed people. Okay. I understand that. But what about the process? The process of… I don’t know, you were really into mowing- I’m a fully intact embalmer. You were really into mowing grass. Once something becomes a process, I feel like- Yeah, yeah. You can kind of get lost in it. Yeah. But I think that the fact that it does involve bodies, and I’m not talking about just non-hot bodies. I’m just saying the process of draining blood out of something, I think that would be a problem for you. But it’s not pumping anymore, ’cause you always thought that the circulatory system and the fact that it’s pumping currently is a problem for you. But if it’s just draining outta there, like, just pick a low point and it just comes right out. It’s like the gutter on the side of a house. Goes into a drain. Right. And then you pump it with this poison. Would you be into it? Sounds like you don’t think it’s that big of a deal. Anything that you would do enough, you just get used to it. It’s just another day at the office. This is a good question because I actually don’t think that I’ve got, I think I like the idea of doing a job that involves a craft, like perfecting a craft. Okay. But I don’t think there’s any evidence of me having a propensity to want to do that in my life. Because even things like music, right? Music is a craft. And I like to get better at it over time, but not really, if I’m gonna be honest with you. I don’t take lessons of any kind. I don’t get into like deep music theory. I just, I’m playing because it’s fun and it’s a way to express myself. But like being a funeral director, you are building on this knowledge base. You’re getting better at it each time. It’s like being a surgeon. Even like the idea that I have to, oh, one day I’m gonna do woodwork because I like the idea of it. But I think that if I got all of the equipment that I needed for woodworking and I had all the YouTube videos lined up to watch to figure out how to do this or I was getting lessons, I think if I just went to some woodworker shop and I was the apprentice, like 30 minutes in, I’d be like… On your phone. Like, I have a high level of patience for creating things and will spend a lot of time writing, will spend a lot of time brainstorming, developing things. But a craft, I haven’t… Name a craft. Name a craft like that that I’ve spent any time. Practice. You have to be a craftsperson to be a good funeral director. So I just don’t think I have it in me. I don’t think I have the patience. It’s not that it would be gross. It would be gross, but I think I’d be over that six weeks. Six weeks. I think maybe I could be over it. I’m concerned about the smells and how cold they have to keep it. Matter of fact, you have a smell thing. And then you gotta deal with people that are sad. Yeah, I can’t- Constantly. I can’t visit a city with you without you pointing out smells at least seven times a day. I know. And how cold it might be. I wish I had another layer. Yeah, I don’t think this is for you either. The good news is there’s no risk of me killing. That’s true. So the stakes are lower. But you gotta do things with the face, and if you make mistakes there, family members get upset. Yeah. Yeah. And the interesting thing, we were learning, what was her name at Hollywood Forever? I wasn’t there. What is her name? I wanted to say Francesca. That sounds right. That sounds right from the time you told the story. We’ll confirm that in a second, but she was great. She was a well-rounded person. And the thing that I- She seemed to be very passionate about- Learned from her. First of all, she got the call at age 11 to, like, she felt the call to be a funeral director at age 11. And one of the things that she talked about was there are certain cultures here in the world, but also represented in Los Angeles. Here in the world. Los Angeles has everyone. That open casket is no question. No matter what happened to the person, no matter what happened to their face in a wreck or whatever, they have to have an open casket funeral. And she says, so some of the things that she has to deal with in order to get somebody to be presentable can be absolutely like crazy. But she takes a lot of pride in fulfilling the family’s request. Did she say that that was related to at least some, like a Hindu practice or belief? I think it was. But I don’t wanna speak outta school. Yeah, I might be speaking outta school. I don’t know if it’s related to Hindu. Did we get her name? Yes. Her name is Jasmine. Jasmine. That is a different name than Francesca. I’m sorry Jasmine. You’re great. And you’re also not Francesca. Nope. And you never need to be. And you never were. Right. But yeah, but think about the work. I think that would be a problem. Open casket no matter what. Yeah. That would be a problem. But she just sees it as this, the thing that I love about it and I love about people like Grace and Jasmine- And the other thing she said. Well, I’ll let you finish. Is that they are providing a service that is absolutely necessary. Yep. At a really difficult time in people’s lives. Yep. And they’re just doing, they see it as a service. You know… I just think that it’s like really important work that gets, it gets overlooked. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. We’re celebrating the work that you are studying. I don’t think it makes you weird if you want to do it is what I’m getting at. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Some of our favorite people are, you know, funeral practitioners. It might make you a little bit weird, but only in a good way. Yeah, I mean, the best makeout parties were always at the funeral director’s home when we were in high school. Right. The funeral director family was the coolest family. They were the coolest family. Shout to O’Quinn-Peebles Funeral Home in Lillington, North Carolina. I think the name may have changed a little bit, but yeah- Really? Something like that. Something like that. Okay, whatever it’s called now. The other thing that Jasmine impressed upon us, I don’t know if it made it into the edit of that Society special, was talking about the open casket, opting for that, it sets the stage for a powerful sense of closure that has scientifically been determined to be helpful to see your dead relative if you can. And you’re not just talking about the closure of the rectum, which is part of the process. I’m not talking about that at all, Rhett. Right. Wasn’t even on my mind. Okay. I was talking about the casket being open, so that you can see your dead relative and then you have that image. It’s an important thing. And then it gives you psychological subconscious closure that, well, there they are, or there their body is, just dead, lifeless body. And I’m feeling certain things. And now I’m walking away. But I have that image. In a way that every culture and every person in history, like up until modern times had to deal with like, somebody died and you saw him there and there they were, they were in your house like on a table for like a few days so people could come and say bye to him. It’s like there he is, he’s just sitting on this table in the living room. And now it’s like- He’s sitting up? I mean, it is not Joe Diffie. Okay, But… May he rest in peace. May he rest in peace. It always troubled me that when Joe Diffie passed away, it was during the pandemic- They didn’t prop him up next to the jukebox. They didn’t prop him up next to the jukebox. I mean, there had to have been behind closed door conversations about that. I mean, right? ‘Cause you can do it. You can do it. It can be done. In the early days of the pandemic, it was really hard to do anything. So if it wasn’t a pandemic, were we robbed of dead Joe Diffie being propped up next to the jukebox because of the pandemic? If so, I hate it even more. I didn’t think I could hate the pandemic even more. But I think that’s the reason, because you know there was extensive conversations involving multiple people sitting around multiple tables to try to figure out the best way to do it. Not if you should do it, but how to honor his request to do it. And you can do it, as we discussed with Jasmine. One of my favorite TikTok rabbit holes is like, I think it’s Nigeria, like Nigerian funerals, or maybe it’s Ghana. Okay. Somewhere in Africa. The funerals, she called it extreme embalming, I think is what Jasmine called it. ‘Cause the first one I ever saw was there was a man who was a lover of soccer. And so at his funeral he was sitting up and all of his friends were going by and balancing a soccer ball off of his dead head. What? Yeah. It was like, that was how you said bye to him. You go up and you just hit him with a soccer ball. And Jasmine- And he headed it back every time. She knew about this because- Oh yeah. When you brought it up, she was like, “Oh yes, these are…” Did she say that she had gone in person to something like that? No, I think she was like, “I know what you’re talking about. “We don’t do that here “because just like culturally, it’s not acceptable.” And are they kind of dried, mummified a little bit at that point? Or is it, they’re pretty fresh? I mean, if you didn’t know, you would think it was just a very still man. Bouncing headers. Wow. What else have you seen? Lots of just like, guys sit, lots of people sitting up at their funeral. Lots of… Sitting there in a chair, hand on cane. Hand on cane? Yeah. Dressed really nice. Always with sunglasses. Always with sunglasses. So the car won’t see that they’re asleep. Right. Or dead. Yeah. Always with sunglasses. What kind of sunglasses? Cool. I mean, really cool. Yeah, you don’t wanna see the eyeball after death. That’s tough. That’s a tough one. And you don’t want ’em to be closed eye because… They’re sitting up. They’re sitting up. I mean, you’re throwing soccer balls off their head. You want him to see it coming. You want to think that they could see it coming. Right. Right? But we’re so uncomfortable with this kind of talk in our culture. Like, something happened. Also, one of the things she taught us, which I had heard before, but then it like went in another part of my brain and like solidified, was the whole thing about embalming being an innovation of the Civil War because you had all these soldiers dying all over the United States and needing to get back to their home to be buried. And so somebody came up with the idea that if you pumped ’em full of formaldehyde or whatever the stuff is- Preserve ’em. They preserved ’em to get them back to their parents and their family so they can be buried and they wouldn’t just be like rotten. And so then we just, I don’t know, at that moment we kind of pushed ourselves a little bit away from it. From death. Yeah. Yeah, like the dead person being there, it became like arms length, next room over, take care of it. Like, they’re not at home, they’re at the funeral home. I really appreciate the level of empathy and the level of craft, as you were saying, that goes into such a, not only necessary, but beautiful. I mean, I think that the people that I’ve met who are really committed to it and really good at it, they’re like super empathetic, nice, caring, community-oriented people. You know, ’cause everybody comes through. There’s like, you know, you think about Lillington and the small town nature of it and the fact that there’s like, there might be three funeral homes there, different ones. But, you know, you got everybody coming through. It’s kind of this touch point for the entire community. It’s one of the reasons why people come together, especially in like tight-knit, smaller communities when like, I mean, you got funeral, you got like wakes and funerals that are like the entire community comes out for it. They’re just lined up around the block just to honor somebody. You know? We don’t see that as much out here. Because we’re not in a tight-knit community where our old people are dying. Yeah, we’re not in a community with a bunch of old people. That’s one thing out here is that no one, no one is dumb enough to retire out here. It’s too expensive. Yeah, you can’t do it. So I don’t know. We… We’re very grateful for it. It’s one of our favorite professions that I guess neither one of us would do. Take it that way. Thank you, Grace. But give us six weeks and it would be old hat. We’ll be all right. Rhett’s like, “I got this.” All right, y’all, you can still call us. Leave us a voicemail. But the clock is ticking. It is. 1-888… ♪ EARPOD1 ♪ Talk at you next week. ♪ Hey, Rhett and Link ♪ ♪ This sure does stink ♪ ♪ “Ear Biscuits” is gone and I understand why ♪ ♪ But I’m gonna miss these lifelong friends ♪ ♪ That two guys who talk for a very long time ♪ ♪ As it ends I hope you see ♪ ♪ We love being in this matrimony ♪ ♪ And if it comes back, heck, who knows ♪ ♪ I’ll watch each and every show ♪ ♪ So go spread your wings ♪ ♪ Love yours truly, Emily from Hawaii ♪ And please don’t take videos of us at the beach.