♪ Ba da bop bop! ♪ Finger-licking good. Let’s talk about that. – ( alarm ringing ) – ( theme music playing ) Good mythical morning! Today we’re ushering in another cavalcade of mythicality for you. We’ll be getting pies in the face, – Rhett’s made some inspirational posters, – Mm-hmm. and I’m told we’re gonna hear our horoscopes. But first, let’s kick things off with some fast food. Now, every fast food restaurant has that one iconic item that’s it universally recognized for. McDonald’s has the Big Mac, Burger King has the Whopper, and Arby’s has relatively clean public restrooms. So that got us thinking, what would happen if there were no walls between fast food restaurants and they all played happily together? And you could mix and match and mate any combination – of fast food items that you wanted… – Mate. …in order to create the ultimate fast food experience? That’s what we’re about to do. It’s “The Ultimate Fast Food Remix!” ( imitates record scratch ) Okay, so what we have done is we’ve gone out to some of our favorite fast food places, gotten some of our favorite fast food items. We’re going to take our favorite parts from each one of them and combine them into Super Fast Food items. Let’s get started. Both: The Big Shack. ( slurping, crunch, and belch ) First up, let’s make a Super Burger, shall we? – Yes, we shall. – Now, um… I’m pretty much gonna say that the most iconic burger in the world is the Big Mac. From Mc– – Just say it. Don’t pretty much say it, man. – From McDonald’s. – It is the most iconic burger in the world. – Yeah, you said it. There’s a lot to love about it, but I’m gonna say that– ( clatters ) Whoo! Sorry. – …that the best burgers, – Yeah. and potentially bun, of any burger joint, – is Shake Shack. – Shake Shack. We have determined this. They have like a nice steamed, soft bun, and the meat is absolutely incredible. So I want you to look at these two separately, and we’re about to mate them, together. Uh, the less you could use the word, “mate,” the better for me, personally. – ( laughter ) – It’s gonna be weird. Um, so what I’m gonna do is, I’m gonna take the top bun, – throw that away. – ( thumps ) – Rhett: Get rid of that. – Link: I’ma take this beef patty– take that away. I’m gonna save the middle bun because Shake Shack ain’t got no middle bun and a Big Mac has got to have a middle bun. And get as much of the Special Sauce and toppings as you can because we wanna retain the toppings that make a Big Mac the Big Mac. So the lettuce, the pickles, the Special Sauce– What is this? This is a “Git ‘R Dun” spatula. – Of course it is. – ( laughter ) You know what you want to do? You want to put that on the bottom bun of the Shake Shack burger. I’m keepin’ the middle bun, so I can put it right there. That’s not the middle bun, though. That’s the middle bun. – Oh, that’s the middle bun? – Don’t put it on that, ’cause you want it on each side of the middle bun, you see what I’m saying? All right, so this is my new top– ooh. And see how the Shake Shack bun sticks together? – It’s not separate. – It’s all one bun. That is beautiful thing. It’s got a hinge. You’re gonna have to break the hinge, though, ’cause it’s gotta open up and let the McDonald’s bun into it. – Ooh, new tomatoes. – That’s what mating burgers is all about. – So I’m getting rid of the tomatoes. – Opening up and lettin’ it in. What I’m gonna do is– these are two patties – that are just– – You’re making me so nervous. – You’re shaking so much. – I’m so excited! Nestled together– All right, so this is my middle– my middle bun. – Rhett: Yeah, so put the bottom– – And then that goes there. And now I’m gonna scrape all of this back on the top… – Yeah, that works. – …just like Larry would do. You think you can fold that bottom bun all the way around? I think you gotta break the seal, man. I don’t wanna break the hinge on the door. The top bun only makes it halfway across the top. – You gotta break the seal. It’s okay. – You’re right, you’re right. We gotta break the hinge. It’s a sad moment, but… – Gonna throw this on there. – Let’s cut this in half. We have created “The Big Shack.” – ( chuckles ) – Let’s get a cross section of this thing. Oh, my goodness. This is a good breakfast. – Oh, wow. – Ah, look at that. Look at that, y’all. – That is gonna be so good. – The Big Shack! – Rhett: It’s gonna be so good. – Dink it. – Dink it and don’t overthink it. – And eat the whole thing. ( moaning in delight ) Oh, my. Oh, man. We have achieved some sort of burger… ( swallows ) …status that should be illegal. You’re gonna see people, and you’re gonna be one of them, running from the Shake Shack across the street to the McDonald’s – or vice versa. – Oh, man. They’re gonna run a– they’re be running a rut in the road, man. Well, that’s if all Shake Shacks are across the street from McDonald’s… – They are. – …which I don’t believe is the case. Both: Mac N’ Out Fries. ( slurping, crunch, and belch ) Okay, now, in our opinion– this may be controversial, but in our opinion, the best fast food french fries are from McDonald’s. Okay? So that is the base of this dish, which is gonna be the ultimate fast food french fry. – Link: Mm-hmm. – Now… And if they’re fresh, they’re really good. – Now, some people may not agree with us… – Ours are semi-fresh. …but the reason that they’re so good is because they use so many different things in ’em. There’s, like, 15 different ingredients in them and one of them is natural beef flavor. Lot of people don’t know this, they actually flavor their french fries with beef flavor. – Hmm. – Which is why if you taste them side-by-side with something else, you’re like, “The McDonald’s ones is better.” That’s exactly how I say it. The best french fry topping on the planet is “Animal style” from In ‘N’ Out. Now, we put this in an omelette and it killed. And I don’t pass up any opportunity to eat it again. But what we’re saying ultimately, is that it’s the toppings that make it amazing. Now a lot of people’ll be like, “This is sacrilegious, because the french fries from In ‘N’ Out are good.” Well, I think the consensus here at Mythical Entertainment, is that they’re not that good. They’re super fresh. Yes, they make them every single day, but the fact that they’re just potatoes just makes them a little bit boring. I think you need that other stuff. They are literally just fresh-cut potatoes. I understand from a purist standpoint that might be the thing. Even right now because they’re a little old, or there’s been some time in getting them here, the McDonald’s fries are holding up so much better. And incidentally, will hold up so much better for the next couple years. Yeah, they will never go bad. – So, I’m basically just getting in here. – We’ve not tried this – before right now. – It’s actually working pretty well. I’m like an excavator, man. And I’m goin’– I’m getting a double portion. – Well, there’s still chese over here– – A double blessing. – Like you gotta– – No, no, don’t get those In ‘N’ Out fries in there. – Oh, did that fall in? – That was my fault, though. – I’m talking to myself. – But this right here is more cheese– you gotta get all of that cheese somehow. Yeah, but I don’t want to get the fries. I don’t want to adulterate it. – It’s like we need to– – This is gettin’ a little weird. We gotta slough it off of the ch– gosh. No, I think we’ve done a good thing, Link. I wish there was a little bit more cheese, but– – I’m just gonna– – And then I like to eat my In ‘N’ Out fries which– now what we have right here, – “Mac N’ Out Fries.” – ( laughter ) Go in with a fork, come out with a smile. It looks like it went through a dicer. Or you just scraped a lot of it with your fork. It’s a little messy, but it’s real good. And the interesting thing is, McDonald’s could do this, because their Special Sauce is basically like that. They got cheese and Special Sauce. – It’s basically Thousand Island Dressing. – They could do this. They could do this without having to run a rut across the street – to the In ‘N’ Out. – Right. So I think we’ve improved on what was thought to be un-improvable. Mm-hmm. Both: Jack In The Chick. (slurping, crunch, and belch ) Just backtrack a little bit to the most important meal of the day… breakfast. Now, here’s the thing. Jack in the Box has this “Loaded Breakfast Sandwich,” which, I’m told is amazing. I haven’t had it, but a lot of the Mythical crew members love this thing because it’s got sourdough bread, and then there’s bacon, cheese, Canadian bacon, eggs, that are cracked and fried in the restaurant. Which is unusual. That’s, like, one of the last fast food places that actually does that. And then a sausage patty, and then another slice of cheese. I really respect all the choices that Jack in the Box has made about this sandwich. And then bookend it by even more sourdough. And I do like sourdough bread, but… – Here’s the problem. – …maybe it can be improved. Down South, if you gonna make a breakfast sandwich of any kind, or if you’re gonna even dabble in breakfast, you’ve got to have a biscuit, y’all. – Yeah. – So we went over to Chick-fil-A, and got ourselves a chicken biscuit. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “The chicken is the star at Chick-fil-A.” But let’s not forget about the biscuit. They got some good biscuits there. And it may be small, but it is mighty. So what we’re gonna do, is we’re gonna take the Jack in the Box “Loaded Breakfast Sandwich” and make it a biscuit. It’s simple, elegant. Let me scrape it with a– I wanna get as much cheese as possible. And it will really feel extra loaded because the biscuits are so tiny. I’m losing some cheese, which is gonna be a casualty. – Just scrape a little bit and get in there. – I can’t have a full casualty. “Leave no cheese behind!” Okay, and then… ( sing-song ) …pop on the biscuit. Flip her over, remove this… – bread thing. – That one had a bacon barrier so it didn’t take any cheese with it. And then bookend it with another biscuit. Let’s take the chicken over here. Let’s not be distracted by that… That’s because I love that chicken. …’cause ladies and gentlemen, this right here, – is the “Jack in the Chick.” – ( laughs ) – Sounds a little odd. – Don’t question it. I don’t think it’s perfect yet, Link. You know what’d make it perfect? – Please set it back down on the table. – Oh, I know. – Making a trip to the KFC. – For gravy. – Uh-huh. – Byooo. – Tell me when, Link. – Never. ( laughs ) – ( laughter ) – Go, go, go, go Gadget. – ( crew laughs ) – And then what I’m gonna do is, “I’ma git r’ done!” Rhett: Oh, please, please, please don’t harm the sandwich. – I mean, it’s like– – Whoa, whoa, whoa, no! Oh, no, no. – That’s your side. pick it back up. – ( laughter ) – Man, you’re so… – Excited. ( chuckles ) Like a bull in a KFC, man. I’ve seen one of those, actually. He’s totally at home there. ‘Cause they don’t serve beef. Okay, but dip the cross section into the gravy. That’s right. You gotta get a little stamp action. – Bring this over so I… – Stamp of approval. Bring it up. Dink it. And have a nice breakfast. ( moans pleasurably ) Mmm. That’s every food group right there. – Yeah it is. All the best ones. – Mm-hmm. – Gravy is its own food group. – ( laughter ) – Where we come from. – Wow. ( Southern accent ) “Does it have gravy? It’s not a complete meal.” That is good. That’s a good breakfast. Then you follow it up with this, which I insisted upon keeping just off camera so I could keep eating it. We’ve done a real good thing today. – A few real good things. – I invite you to do the same thing, Mythical Beasts. And don’t forget to click through to see whether Mythical Beasts like you would want to eat pie or or throw it in Alex’s face. Rhett: Check out the latest episode of our podcast, “Ear Biscuits.” Let’s just say the conversation got good, like the Grinch when he gave back Christmas.