[Yoda Voice] Do or do not, there is no try. – [Yoda Voice] Talk about that let’s. (playful theme music) – Good Mythical Morning. – It is an especially good mythical morning because The Last Jedi comes out today. I’m dorking out y’all. – Yes, and as much as we would like some of that sweet Star Wars kickback money, we are not being paid for this show by Disney, we’re just, – Dorking out. – Super big fans. Link’s more of a fan than I am, but I am a fan enough to wear a Star Wars-themed cardigan. And listen, I don’t wear cardigans, so I’m making quite an exception. – I know, you’re becoming more like me in every way, you’re gonna name your other kid Jabba. – Potentially. – You got another kid coming? – Yeah. – Oh, breaking news. – No, we don’t, hopefully, hopefully we don’t. – Since we know you’re probably watching this on your phone while shivering on the sidewalk outside of your local movie theater, we though we’d warm your dork pants with some special Star Wars-related segments. We have constructed the largest Lego set ever, the Millennium Falcon, and today we’re gonna see if it can fly. We are also gonna be highlighting some of the weirdest Star Wars products this side of the forest moon of Endor. But first, it’s time for Real Fake Food: Star Wars Edition. – Okay, if you’re looking for some dishes to serve to your padawans at your next Star Wars get-together, we had good mythical chef Tess whip up some snacks that we think are R2-D-lish, woop woop. And Link since you’re such a fanboy, you are going to explain the lore behind each dish. (horn fanfare) – First of the ubiquitous blue milk is the beverage that can be spotted in many different Star Wars adventures, it comes from the mammary gland of a female bantha, and it’s readily available on the outer rim planets, and right here. Mythical chef Tess bring it on out, or should I say, Rey. – Thank you so much for addressing me the way I– – Wow, you did great Tess, Rey. – [Link] And this looks great, too, look at that. – Now since we couldn’t get hold of a bantha, – ‘Cause you gotta get hold of it in the right place to get the milk. – Right, yeah. – It kept moving. – And you gotta be careful. So we wanted to get yak milk, ’cause we thought that a yak looked the most like a bantha, but we couldn’t get a yak, but we did find camel milk. Our milkman isn’t as good as our mean man, I mean that’s just the situation that we find ourselves in at this point. – But camel milk is this color if you didn’t know. – Yeah, well if you squeeze the second hump. – Blue food coloring has been added. Dink it, and drink it. – Oh gosh. – It’s, ooh. – It does taste like a desert-dwelling animal that’s dehydrated. – It’s very protein-y tasting. It’s not bad, but it’s hard to enjoy. – It’s not bad, but it’s hard to enjoy. Don’t tell your mom that for the Christmas dinner. – Something right here. – Well it’s not bad, but it’s hard to enjoy. – Something right here in my sinuses, uh. (horn fanfare) Next up in The Force Awakens, Rey trades her scrap for portion bread, the instant kind of protein bun for people who live on an uninhabited desert planet and aren’t gluten-intolerant, look at that. – It’s not pretty, but it’s portion bread, it’s not supposed to be pretty, it’s supposed to get the job done. – It’s supposed to keep you alive when all you’re doing is looking for scraps all day. – Now in order to, oh look at that, in order to kind of recreate the texture and the color, Tess you used matcha and charcoal, right? – Yeah – Maybe it’ll make camel milk taste better. No, not at all. I’ll take more of this to make the camel milk go away. – This is pretty good Tess. – You could hit it with a blaster, and instantly make a bread bowl. – Look at the goo, I love the goo. – Do a little food truck type situation. – The Force Awakens, more like The Force A-bacons. Am I right, am I right? (horn fanfare) – And now let’s eat some dewback. That big ride-able lizard that was introduced in the special editions of A New Hope. But in the Star Wars universe as a whole, their meat is often jerked, and I can’t believe I actually said that sentence in that way. – It’s a culinary term, it’s a culinary term. – Alright, so let’s see what you got Tess. We’ve jerkied some meat. – But because they’re a little bit reptilian in nature, we got iguana. And it’s got some jerk seasoning, but it’s more that we just jerkied the iguana, right? – Yeah. – Now I did hear that the meat man did show up with the iguana, and apparently he had a very large chunk of frozen iguana meat just all smooshed together. Don’t know how that happened. But then we had to cut off the portion that we wanted. – [Tess] Yes, correct, ’cause he wanted to charge us for the difference, and I was like, you know, we just need two pounds. – We don’t need a $500 block of iguana meat. – You had to hack it off with a bandsaw? – Not yet, the Christmas party maybe. – So I found a choice bite size piece. Yeah, you’re right, we should try to bite it apart instead of just popping it. – Oh, how do you know what I’m thinking? – You’re not gonna put that whole thing in your mouth. – I said nothing, and you’re like, oh you’re right. I wish things worked like that more often, if I could just look at you, and you’d be like, oh you’re right. Can we just do that every hour on the hour? Set an alarm for yourself, Rhett, you’re right. – No you weren’t planning on putting the whole thing in your mouth. – No, I was gonna, I was gonna portion it. – For once, you were finally right. – Oh gosh. Oh, is that a tooth? – In the meat or from your mouth? Oh my– – That’s not bad Tess. – I can’t, I gotta find another piece, ’cause I can’t, eww. – [Tess] It’s a little tough. – [Rhett] That’s a whole tail. – [Tess] I think I let it go for too long. – It’s unchewable, it’s so jerky. – I don’t mind this at all, I really don’t. – I can’t find a way to make it digestible. – Camel milk. – No. Not going back there. – This is a winner for me. I’m not gonna eat it all now, I’m gonna save it for later. – Yeah, right. (horn fanfare) Alright this next one is eaten by Jabba the Hutt. And if it’s good enough for Jabba the Hutt, it’s good enough for us, right? – Yes it is. – Tess bring it in, oh my goodness. I saw it out of the corner of my eye earlier. – Now listen, you’re gonna have to take a seat and just explain this one to us. – This is a Klatooine paddy frog. I mean it looks like you just got one. – Did you just find one in the LA River, is that what happened? – No, well so the bottom is a little frog, and the top is made from lobster shell and fondant. – That’s a lobster shell? – Yeah, underneath. – And then these eyeballs. – Those I made with a little bit of paint and fondant. And these are earthworms kind of stuck in. – [Link] Oh my gosh, earthworms. – It’s pretty gnarly. – So you took the meat out, – And then frog legs? – And the frog body, a whole frog bottom on the back, that’s a real frog. – That’s a real frog. – And then real lobster, but is there lobster meat in there somewhere? – No, no, just the shell of the carcass. – Yeah, no need to make it appetizing. – Sorry. – What happened right here, what is that? – Well he had a boo-boo on his knee, so I used an earthworm as a tourniquet. ‘Cause I felt bad for him. – And you spray painted it? – Let’s bring this in here. – A posthumous empathy. – Set him down. Just you know, I think we have to take him off his perch, right. How are we gonna get at this? – [Tess] Ooph, gross. – I mean now Jabba just grabbed out of a thing and then, – Just kind of put him right over the rim of his bottom lip. – He kinda needs to be, – How do we even go about eating this? I mean he just threw it in. Looking right at you mythical beasts. – There is a little piece of wood there, so I mean you can eat from this side or that side, or you can pull it out, but– – It’s so heavy. – I know. – Oh, it’s solid. – And he ate it live. – I’m gonna jiggle it a little bit just to give it a sense of life. – Well how about this, Tess, you jiggle it, and we’ll each grab a leg. – Yeah, there you go. – And see what kind of damage can be done here. – Ooh, wow, it is heavy. – I think we’re gonna have to bite this in multiple places. – Yeah, let’s start with the legs, just grab a leg on your side Link. (Tess makes high-pitched noises) – Oh gosh. (Link retches) There’s so much paint on him. – I’m sorry, I airbrushed the colors. – It’s edible paint, don’t worry, don’t worry about, you don’t worry about us. Okay, that was a great bite. – I like got frog skin, is there frog skin? – He’s still alive. – Yeah, it’s really gross. – He’s still alive Tess. (Tess makes high-pitched noises) – I just ate the frog skiN, which was just from the leg, that’s nice. – Now let’s grab a tentacle. – It’s so cold. – He’s still alive Tess. – He’s clammy. (Tess makes high-pitched noises) – [Tess] No, Rhett, no. – Oh, now he – He knows your name. – Now he’s speaking. – What’s wrong with you? My cousins will come after you. – Oh! – Oh my god. – Ooh it’s very, it’s very gritty in there. – Camel milk. – Is it full of earth, is that why they call it an earthworm? – I just swallowed it like a pill. – I’m still chewing it, and I can hear the crunchy grains. – Should I just, don’t wanna, I mean can I just rip it open? – Yeah, totally. Oh my god. – No Tess! (both guys scream) – I’m so broken. – What is that, is that putty? – That part’s pretty good actually. – It’s sugar gum, that’s why. – I like, the inside’s good. Jabba knows what’s up once you get inside one of these things. Oh, there’s the lobster, there it is. Well okay, well you know I would, later I’ll just throw the whole thing in my mouth. I don’t want to intimidate anybody at the current moment. – I might bite a quick eyeball. – You gotta at least finish him off or something. – Oh you don’t have to shake him, I think he’s dead Link. – I gotta say that the inside of this frog was the best-tasting thing I’ve had in a long time. – Thanks guys. – Once you get to the center of a paddy frog, you’re happy. – That makes it my favorite dish. – Really validating, all the way around. – Amazing job, thank you so much for that. – Thank you, thank you, you’re very welcome, very welcome. – Alright, click through to watch us build and potentially destroy one of the largest, the largest, Lego set ever built, the Millennium Falcon. Get a whiff of this, our brand new fragrance, Mythical No. 9, available at Mythical.store, for guys and gals.