(perky music) – Sorry, Ralphie. The bake-off rejected your recipe. I think your grilled crayon sandwich was delicious. – You only had a pretend bite. – No, I’m eating it, look. (crunching) (groaning) – Can you taste the thumbtacks? – [Chief Wiggum] Ah, crap. – [Host] Hey, what’s up, guys? Welcome back to Binging with Babish, and also Rhett and Link. Today, I’m in the Good Mythical Morning kitchen, and these guys are gonna give me a hand, or an arm. Specifically, two arms. Yeah, this is not gonna go well. Today, we’re going to be cooking with an irresponsible amount of children’s art supplies and testing the limits of the term nontoxic, with Ralph Wiggum’s grilled crayon sandwich from season 15 of The Simpsons. Just like any grilled sandwich, our crayon version is going to be built from the bread up. – [Rhett] That’s a big bread. Carefully now. – Yeah, here ya go. – Oh God. – [Link] Here’s the knife. (laughing) – [Host] We’ve opted for a rustic sturdy country loaf from a local bakery that’s really going to stand up to all this melted wax. It looks like Ralph uses a store bought white pullman loaf in the episode. – I’m trying to hold it tight. – Use your strength. – Oh God, watch your fingers. – [Host] But he was also laughed out of the oven fresh bake-off and I think we can do better. We’re going to spread a good amount of quality mayonnaise on each side of the bread. The biggest problem with eating melted crayons is that all the wax gets stuck in the back of your throat. – [Rhett] Okay, that’s excessive. – [Host] So the mayo is just there to help everything go down smoothly. – [Link] When in doubt, spread it out. – [Host] Then we’re going to hit the bread with a little bit of dijon. Use some really excellent horseradish-y stuff. Crayons have a relatively neutral flavor, and they tend to coat the palette in a similar way to fat. So any acid of spice you add is really going to carry the dish. – You guys are working so good together. – [Link] Oh yeah, you don’t want too much mustard. – [Rhett] A little mustard goes a long way. – [Link] You don’t want it to overpower the mayo. – The crayons. – [Host] Now, and I can’t stress to you how uncharted this territory is to me, we need to pick out a few good ripe crayons. Color isn’t really important. Just follow your heart and use whatever combo speaks to you in the moment. – [Man] Work as a team. – [Host] We’re going to follow the scheme from the episode which looks to be bright yellow, orange, red, light blue, lavender, and what’s that last one? Fuchsia? Coral? Can you guys tell? – No. – Green. (laughing) – [Man] Colors. – [Host] We’ll just call it pink. When it comes to crayons, you have two options: skinless or skin on. Purists are gonna say skin on, and that’s how it appears in the episode, but for taste purposes we’re going to go ahead and peel the crayons. – All right, it’s really weird to hear your voiceover while this is clearly in your mouth. (mumbling) – [Host] Once you have 20 or so crayons peeled, place those as evenly as you can on top of your bread smeared with mayonnaise. – That fits beautifully. – [Link] It looks great. – It looks delicious. – It’s like a rainbow. – [Host] We’re gonna give it a light sprinkle of course ground sea salt. – With double salt. – [Host] Because, I mean, who knows why we do anything anymore, right? Just put the other slice of bread on top. Heat an ungodly amount of salted butter in a heavy bottom skillet over medium heat for about a minute until the solids start to separate. (Link painfully yelling) – [Link] I just burnt my arm. – [Host] Brown butter is an attempt to make you forget that you are eating a bunch of crayons. It will not work, like, at all. – Whoa, watch your hand. – Do we want some mayo? – [Man] No. (laughing) – [Host] Put the sandwich on the pan. You want to really press your spatula on top of the sandwich to drive it into the direct heat and make sure the entire surface area of the bread gets nice and toasty. Don’t worry about melting your crayons all the way through, you can leave a few undercooked to add textural contrast. – [Link] We need to flip. We need to flip. – Okay. – [Man] Oh boy, here we go. – [Host] Flip the sandwich after about five minutes, and continue cooking for an additional five. – One, two. – Oh you guys are geniuses, – or I’m a genius I guess. – Oh no! – [Rhett] No, no, no, no, no, no. – [Man] Oh, mostly, most of it. – [Host] Pull the sandwich off the heat and let it rest for a few minutes before you eat it. Now there is one more element to Ralph’s grilled crayon sandwich, and that is thumbtacks. Yeah, no, I didn’t think so. Well, let’s eat this thing, and may the food gods have mercy on our souls. – Mmm-mmm. – Yeah. – You guys earned this. (crunching) – Really tasting that color. It said nontoxic on them, I think that means edible. – Are you guys swallowing this? – Are you? – I don’t think so. (laughing) – [Link] Put a hat on it, a GMM hat to be exact. Get one at mythical.store.