GMM 1306.3: 5 Ridiculous Mascots (GAME)

We both can’t do it at the same time. That’s against the rules. Is this a new thing, guys? ( music playing ) What up, homies? With March Madness and Munch Madness – dominating the headlines… – Yes! let’s not forget that today is the opening day of the 2018 baseball season! My favorite thing about going to a baseball game is the atmosphere, the food, and the weirdo in a creepy costume doing the moonwalk by third base. That’s right. I’m talking about mascots. They’ve been entertaining crowds and employing off-season mall Santas for years, and nobody does mascots better than minor league baseball. It’s time for… – Mmm, been to– – Ooh, buddy, Link. Been to any minor league games recently? – Like the Mudcats? – The Carolina Mudcats? Is that still happening? I think so. What about the Durham Bulls, man? – Yeah. – They’re pretty famous. Yep. Been to one– not recently. Kevin Costner played for them. He did. In his heyday. A lot of crazy mascots, though. I’m gonna tell you about a mascot, and of course, you just gotta guess– It’s like a fish– It’s like I ‘m on– It’s like I’m on the pier with Granddad and I gotta– you remember those days? For one moment, it did make you a little mad, right? Okay. Now I know what to do to get him. – I can’t catch it. I can’t– – With the dead fish. This is a good game. We should sell this. You know, we’re changing it. For the next– This isn’t about minor league baseball. I thought you were gonna hit me. This is called “Catch the Fish With Granddad.” For the next eight minutes, this is what we’re gonna do. Okay. – I’m gonna hurt somebody. – You know what? Let’s go back to the originally scheduled program. I was having a lot of fun. – I’m gonna give you… – Keep going. I’m gonna tell you about a minor league baseball mascot. – I understand. – You’re gonna tell me – if it’s real or fake. – Real or fake. And if you get three of these right, you win– You– You– You– You win your very own mascot. Okay. This Triple-A team hails from the Florida coast, the Pensacola Woodpeckers, colloquially known as the Pensacola Peckers. In 2012, the Peckers updated their mascot Peter Pecker from a family-friendly woodpecker to a much fiercer one. The newest edition wears sunglasses, has a fire-red Mohawk, and goes by the name Pete. – Pete Pecker? – Pete Pecker. – Peter Pecker. – It was Peter Pecker. Now it’s Pete Pecker. Mascot or Mask-not? This is not true. False. Mask-not. You think we would go with a fake one for the first one? – We’ve never done that. – Peter Pecker? Yes. Yes, you’re right, Link. It’s fake. Peter Pecker pecked a pick of pickled peppers. Say that five times fast. Peter Pecker pecked a peck of pickled peppers. Peter Pecker pecked a peck of pickled peppers. Peter Pecker pecked a peck of pickled peppers. – Peter Pecker pecked a peck of pickled peppers. – Oh, gosh. It’s actually just saying “peck” a whole lot, so it’s not that difficult. We’ve discovered a hidden talent. We both can’t do it at the same time. – That’s against the rules. – Is this the new thing, guys? I hope not. If you’re in Montgomery, Alabama, swing by Riverwalk Stadium and check out their baseball team, the Montgomery Biscuits. Their mascots, plural, are Big Mo, a biscuit-loving orange beast, and Monty, an “anthro-formor-pized”– “anthro-for-morphized”– anthropomorphized buttermilk biscuit… Do I need to hit you? The record is skipping. …who served as both their logo and the star of the hit documentary film “The Story of Monty The Biscuit.” Mascot or Mask-not? Very complex. This is awesome. There’s a– I know what I’m watching tonight. The Biscuit documentary. Okay. Not sure… you’re gonna find it. – True. – …but it does exist. – True. – True! You’re right, Link. Yes, both of these mascots exist. – Check ’em out. – His tongue is a butter. It’s butter! His tongue is butter. Yeah, whatever you do, don’t ask for a Montgomery biscuit at a massage “poller”– parlor. I know where you’re going with that. You can’t say “massarge.” This is a “marsarge” parlor. Having trouble this morning ’cause there’s all this Grandpa hand. Taco Bell isn’t the only place smart enough to use a Chihuahua as a mascot. In 2014, the Triple-A team the El Paso Chihuahuas unveiled their new mascot, a red-eyed doggie with an attitude known as Chico the Chihuahua. According to the team’s official website, when Chico’s not riling up fans at ballgames, he is ready to come out and play, make tails wag, and have people barking at your next event or party. Mascot or Mask-not? So a Chihuahua with pink-eye? – Red eye. – Okay, allergies, I guess. El Paso doesn’t have a lot of allergies. Border town. – Um… – Mm-hmm. Mmm, this is tough. It’s a big decision I’m making. Right, ’cause you’re– you’re– you’re– – I think this is– – You’re two for two. – I think this is true. – ( knocks on table ) False. What are you going with? False. True. – Make a decision. – True. – Link, you’re right! – Yes! Let’s show him the video. It’s time now to unveil the El Paso Chihuahuas’ brand new mascot, Chico. ( electric blues playing ) That was the video they made. – That was it? – That was it, man. Be like, “All I can do is this.” Boy, I’d like to hang out with those two guys. – Yeah, – Not the Chihuahua as much, but the other two guys. Chico looks like he’s been crying all night because of the fact that he exists. The Weehawken Wigglers were formed in 1998 and posted the best record in the Northeast league in their inaugural season. Their mascot, Wiggy the Wiggle Worm, is a green worm monster with sharp teeth and spikes on his back. At one point during the game, Wiggy takes random fans to the field, where they compete in a wiggle-off, which is basically just twerking. The best wiggler walks away with a $50 gift card to one of the team’s sponsors, Rumba Cubana Cuban restaurant. Mascot or Mask-not? A wiggle worm? ♪ A wiggle worm ♪ ♪ Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle ♪ Um, you know what? My ki– I’m thinking this should be false at this point, but I believe that this rings true. – This is true. – Rings true. – Yes. – Well… you shoulda rung it false because it’s not real. But, seriously, you should check out Rumba Cubana’s $5 mojito on Tostones Night, Mondays, 5:00 PM to close. It’s an insane deal. – So that part’s not fake? – No, that’s real. Link, the clean sweep is out of the question at this point. You’re gonna get your own mascot. – Yes! – This is pride on the line. This next mascot is corny. No, really. That’s his name– Corny. Corny is a mascot for the Normal CornBelters, a minor-league baseball team based in Normal, Illinois. Normal. Corny is anything but normal. He’s referred to as a cornisaurus, which is I assume what happens when a dinosaur mates with corn and births a child. It happens. The big green dinosaur with corn dreadlocks, can be found corning things up every baseball game at the Cornbelter stadium, The Corn Crib. Mascot or Mask-not? Whenever I eat corn, I give birth to it later unchanged as well. Oh, brrr. – Unchanged, huh? – Yeah, just a whole cob. Swallow it whole? I wasn’t listening to anything besides the fact – there’s a town called Normal. – Normal. Um… And Corny’s– the CornBelters. Oh, Corny, okay. – ‘Cause, you know, Illinois. – Yeah. Uh, true. Uh, you’re right. Yes, you are right, Link. Whatever you do, don’t ask him to show you his cornhole! And, Link, you got four out of five, and that means you win your very own mascot. – Yeah! – Come on out, Link mascot. Chase: Whoo! – Ha, ha, ha, ho! – What? – Yeah! – What is it? Whoo! – What are you? – Whoo! You’re a sausage link! I’m a sausage link. Hot dog! Yes! A hot link. – A hot link. – Just a sausage link. Now, I like your fingers. – Thanks. – I will point out that I saw Chase earlier before the sausage link part was put on. He was just in the white part. It was quite disturbing. That was also good. – All right, so– – You got any special skills? Yeah, I got sausage puns. Hot dog. You’re the bratwurst. Uh, do you wanna bite? ( humming ) This is your mascot. Treat him with respect, man! Whoo! I’m just not gonna make eye contact with him, if that’s okay with you. – No– no. – You don’t wanna eat your own mascot? – Do you want a bite? – No. I’m very grateful for you. Congrats, Link! And thank you– what’s your name? I’m a Sausage Link. Oh, you don’t have, like, a “Weenie” or something like that? He might have one, but… Uh… Thank you for liking, commenting, and subscribing. You know what time it is. My name’s Jordan Weathers. I’m from Carrollton, Georgia, but right now I’m in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. In fact, my hotel room looks out at the stadium where the Toronto Blue Jays play baseball. What? And now it’s time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality. I think that guy just broke into the stadium. I don’t think there’s a hotel. Click the bottom link to watch this episode from the beginning. And click the top link to watch us play a game about the weirdest names in baseball in “Good Mythical More!” And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality is going to fall apart. Link: Even a minor league player can make a major league fashion statement. Get this mythical logo baseball tee at mythical.store.

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