our dreams consist of a fortune telling taxi cab driver a man made of moss and a hippie let’s read about that I’m Nick from BC Canada good mythical morning [Applause] [Music] good mythical morning this episode is brought to you by the rhettandlink community where you can create drawings among many other things upload them and then discuss them we’re gonna continue our reading today of our screenplay we wrote when we were 14 called gutless wonders when last we read well first of all if you this is part three so right watch part 1 and part 2 before you watch part 3 if you haven’t seen part 1 and part 2 when last we read I revealed that my dog had an amazing trick he could dress himself he’s gonna be on the local news yep in order to prepare I went and got a haircut of course and they wouldn’t so I still haven’t gone on the news yet don’t know what’s happening there and that’s where we pick up after that cliffhanger this is called this is the beginning scene today is called the Smitty scene which is totally unrelated this isn’t this is a new storyline that we’re introducing and we ordered this very short fade in Josie show scenery where Smitty is Smitty has on a helmet close-up of Smitty’s face breathing hard and concentrating Smitty takes a running start and attempts to do cartwheels laid out that’s it that’s the scene for that scene don’t know what we were thinking we were planting a seed of stupidity I don’t think anything grew from the seed though scene 5 dream sequences here we go fade in shot of the full moon cut – Rhett getting in bed show upper body Rhett is swaying and staggering widen as he sits down close in on him removing high heels Rhett lays back close up on face camera rotates around while keyboard music plays you’re busy read that right dream screen is still rotating and slowly stops music stops red is laying in the woods show face zoom out to show woods red here is a taxicab man okay now before you read this uh-huh we have read we weep reread this and what we are about to read can be could be understood and probably should be understood as somewhat racist hmm and we’re gonna read it because we are reading directly from the fourteen-year-old Retton links from rural north rural rural North Carolina we have changed a lot and it’s not like horrible but it is not something that we would come up with today or necessarily find that funny today however it is in the gutless wonder script and we have committed to read it so enjoy at your own risk so clear yeah so what you you read the taxi cab man OS you want me to be what is OS stand for I’m off screen okay thanks your your your taxi cab man rut correct rut right here taxi cab man Rick arises and runs he runs into taxi cab man hello rut I am your Pakistani dream genie I can predict your future you’re gonna hurt you gonna hurt me somewhat like to come from India you can I’m making it worse I think yeah probably yeah you gotta hurt me no I’m going to predict your future see we were trying to thinking like a genie and we’re like oh the genie and a taxi cab guy they like the same mm-hmm they’re racist all right go ahead you will eat tomorrow and sleep tomorrow night your breath will smell very bad in the morning sometime during the day the telephone whirring your mother will answer it it will not be for you okay okay that’s enough aya I need to be moving on by by right and remember the shortest distance between two points is a straight line show rat with a confused look he walks ahead and I feel in the dream yeah all right there’s my house runs to the front door knocks Brandon a hippie with long wig in classes long wig and glasses answers amen what do you need weed nah the drug reference yep good mm-hmm nah what are you doing in my house your house no can do Kemosabe this is my Love Shack rep gets mad you better be getting your hippie tail out of this Love Shack peace man make love not war make love to this jerk sorry dude but here comes Taekwondo Brandon shoves his palm into Rhett’s face Byam Rhett with dazed look close up spins around and falls down on face rent rolls over and spits out a hunk of grass this is awesome Wow aunt Vidalia off screen ready poop ready poop where are you Rhett is disgusted aunt Vidalia show aunt Vidalia walk up show retz view looking up at aunt Vidalia aunt Vidalia kids close to camera hey give me some of that good old sugar Rhett with frightened look pucker up look right into the camera Rhett runs aunt Vidalia Jake this is a place in Georgia it’s also an onion chases after right into the distance camera begins to rotate rotate back to rest sitting up sweating in bed cut 2 o’clock in links house shows 1:30 a.m. link is asleep in bed camera begins to rotate around his face got a lot of camera rotation going on camera stops rotating and link is lying in a doghouse he wakes up and gets out he’s looking around so me maybe I’m dreaming as if I’m Tucker I don’t know what we were thinking here but all I know is that now it’s my dream and everything you say is in French that’s another thing ill Fabo link wakes up link walks up to a home actually retz back door and knocks the same farmer from earlier comes outside with a shotgun get it he’ll be como de la Lu what would you call me you cussing me out farmer cocks and aims his guns get off my property I’ll shoot gone yeah yeah apparently I’m a Marine link when it is astonished in frightened face he turns and runs off deck link runs and stumbles into moss man Bonjour what I’m a Russian Muslim Bonjour salut comment allez-vous I’m appalled at your language I’ll teach you to talk to me like that Mossman spits a stream of water into air this is incredible writing cut to link getting sprayed in face we were prodigies prodigies I felt like we’ve done a lot of this in our videos like spraying each other in the face with water all of this came from our fourth-grade minds even the stuff we create now in 4th grade was like 8th grade link runs yeah 14 years old I mean zut alors I think that’s like an expletive in French link walks into a cornfield show taxi cab man meditating in cornfields now you can be the taxi cab hello link how are you link turns and sees taxi cab man surprised just we can’t talk it’ll excuse me but I prefer if you didn’t cuss at me no no je parle francais I warned you I must kill you now taxi cab man pulls out a Pakistani knife gets up and does funny moves oh well linked with a frightened expression runs away this your justice between two points is a straight line link with confused expression walks we had a lot of confused expression humor like say something doesn’t make sense and then expect people to laugh at it he walks on and meets Rhett it’s still in the drink like what are you doing out here in a Jennif all ha I’m glad what’d you call me no no a bottle of francais what boy you better watch your mouth or I’ll teach you a lesson no no salut see the play Oh s’il vous play nothing you see the play yeah no no see Buble rat with mad expression cocks arm first of all I’m a very violent person in this is great yeah yeah I’ve never really pushed anybody in the face in my life I’ve slapped you just for fun on this show but rat with a man expression cocks Armand begins to swing Bret’s view links pins and falls face first link rolls over and spits out a hunk of grass keeps how come every time someone gets hit they they get grass in their mouth is it because it’s a dream that’s what happens to like your teeth fall out and dreams too camera begins to rotate uh-uh we’re coming out of the dream rotates back to link in bed spitting he sits up stop spitting and wakes up link lays back down and goes back to sleep in scene well in the next scene I see is called Tucker televised finally the plot advances in the next reading now as we as we finish up today I will address those of you who have requested that we make this into an actual movie I would hope that now that we have read part three that is becoming very evident to you that we should not make this into a movie but you know what it would be so bad it would be so bad then it might be good it might be good I’m almost beginning it is so ridiculous makes no sense positions like shaking his hips like that but I don’t want to be responsible for it I don’t I don’t watch they want to do it personally yeah I can’t accept responsibility for that fair with us people this is all right animal documentary so you’d be like a voiceover guy and I’ll be I can be like an animal in the wild and here we see the wild untamed link he only comes down from the tree every two weeks to defecate we find him in a very vulnerable position no one knows why he like the sloth comes down at such a unpredictable frequency to defecate it’s just it’s just more comfortable down here man and I’m just you know and it’s I’m gonna have some privacy and it’s unbelievable that he has let me get this close to his face and can I have some privacy he lets see lets people pet him he said got a little bit of a hairy forearm and he’s also apparently married too cuz he wears a ring I’m I’m using the bathroom here dude you’re in my latrine can I have a few yards I’m going to give him some space this is a very unusual sight a sloth in a hurry it wants to defecate and the only place it’s happy doing that oddly enough is down on the ground