our high school history teacher is building a rocket let’s read about that [Music] morning [Music] good mythical morning this episode was brought to you by the rhett and Link community good rental income click on beasts create and connect with other fans of us and the type of stuff that we do that you can also participate in over there today we’re gonna pick up reading gutless wonders the screenplay that we wrote when we were 14 we’ve read three parts up until now you can read those before you get to this today part four when last we left I can watch it we read it but they watch it yeah you watch us read it it’s it’s awesome so just to bring us up to speed my dog Tucker has amazing ability to dress himself local news caught word of it we were invited on in order to prepare I go get a haircut and then that night I go to sleep in my bed you go to sleep in your bed in a separate home no fishy stuff going on here and we both have very fishy dreams very weird dream speak French only in your dream there’s a genie a little weird this is where we’ve been but now we pick us in scene 6 called Tucker televised and this is the moment we’ve all been waiting for yes Tucker goes to the television station here we go Linc wakes up in the morning gets out of bed Linc walks out the door sleepy and throws clothes over the fence to Tucker alright Tucker put on this sweater you knitted today’s our big day no sweat waiter what you caught you owe him yes and at this point the script has a handwritten note that reads finished later the most important part of the whole plotline we just said we’ll finish it later it’ll is too important to do later has come and gone and it has never been written sorry so uh okay so we assume that that scene happened Tucker whit to the I was on the local news and then we’re at scene seven yep scene 7 subway rhett and Link are on the way to subway pick up the pieces is play the car breaks down music still plays several people come up to the car these are our friends in their real names Trent Chris Brandon and Mike come up and one by one dressed stupidly try to push the car oh they’ll be funny just dress him stupidly yeah right they try to move it but they can’t jason k comes up now this is like the smallest friend that we have yeah he comes up tells them to move away he pushes the car by himself haha that’s funny Wow a little guy pushes a car wreck gives him a thumbs up and drives off they arrive at Subway and the song goes off now we had a subway in Lillington very close to where we grew up and it was owned and operated by what we have written as the Arabian guide since we’ve turned whatever we are now we’re not 14 anymore I’m 34 I think we know that Arabian is incorrect would refer to a person there’s actually an Arab person yeah so we’re gonna call him Arabian guy cuz that’s what’s in the script and link is going to now I’ll be the Arabian guy when he’s talking to you and then you be the Arabian guy when he’s talking to me perfect he kind of had an attitude he was kinda like the subway like the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld Seinfeld what would you like I was wondering do you have any 9-inch subs no we only have 6 or 12 inch subs I like your accent like it sound like a Jewish person from New York that’s it’s ironic oh okay well could I have an 18 inch sub like combine two 12-inch and the six inch subs no that is not possible we only have six or 12 inch subs do you I never know what’s gonna get you serve spaghetti because our pizza because that’s what it sounds like no winner we’d only deserve it well I’ll take a 6-inch spicy if this is on spicy it’s hanging on white bread link steps up what would you like a cold cut combo please white or wheat would you happen to have any whole-grain bread a mixture of white bread and wheat bread no just white or wheat okay I’ll take a 9-inch whole-grain sub listen read my lips no 9 inch or 12 inch no whole grain you are becoming a really big pain okay I’ll take a 6 inch cold cut combo on white bread what would you like on it to me yeah a little bit everything and a little whipped cream rhett and Link move over to the cash register that will be and there’s a dollar sign apparently we were waiting for an inflation this we’re never this script is read you just put it in the dollar amount okay that would be dollar amount and I will leave you with good advice only six or twelve white or wheat I will give you something good to eat Thank You rhymes yeah I notice little rhyme that’s it that’s about all the comedy I could glean out of this whole scene was that this this guy right well Arabian guy hands over the subs ladies and gentlemen that was scene 7 why we should move on to scene 8 in hopes of finding something with a little bit more comedic substance professor Mack no professor my Mack professor Mack as I said before is a real history teacher from our high school who was my history teacher he had a wonky eye and he wore glasses I’m gonna be professor about professor max hand it’s the shot of professor’s Mac hand playing tic-tac-toe draw then crosses out though he’s won the game zoom out showing Mac and total board covered in tic-tac-toe games all crossed out I look beautiful cut to door rhett and Link walk in not first of all I think this is funny he’s playing playing tic-tac-toe against himself and he’s covered the whole board and he keeps crossing him out because he can’t beat himself I’m unbeatable that’s good I like that continue cut the door did you read there such a door rhett and Link walk in hey Willis what do you need professor Mac my dog was stolen huh pause when was when was Tucker stolen he was stolen while we were at the television station in the scene that we never wrote so and his and his moment of Fame he’s stolen for his talent yep oh gosh there’s conflict there we just kind of missed it because we didn’t write it yeah but then we got a professor math professor Mac my dog was stolen in the scene we didn’t write oh no tell me the details well it all started like this link gesturing to Mac as camera fades out fades back in and that’s how I ended up vomiting on President Clinton hmm very interesting I’ve been working on something that may help you out Mac walks to the closet brings out a rocket it’s my newest division the young umbilical as smoke emission tube you’ll Bret turns to link all right all right use culture nope I haven’t fully tested well what does it do it’s a name oriented seeking device right now that’s how does it work how does it work once fired it’s capable of reading speeds up to Mach 3 now that’s fast that’s fast it won’t make impact with anyone having the name it will make him back it will make impact with anyone having the name Mac turns erases board and writes while talking Billy Ray Billy Ray for Schmidty now Smitty there was a seamless mini earlier hmm yeah so that was a seat wine it’s interesting billy-ray fill Iran or Smitty why those three names once again stupidity raises its overhead don’t you realize I’m the master of scientific intricacies yes we say this in unison yes yes yes professor Mac Mac hands the rocket over the umbilicus module I think is what he called it yeah to Buell camera follows the transition oh yeah some dramatic following the transmission you magician use it only in times of great need or misfortune professor Mac it seems like I can already smell Tucker because he’s so close to coming up no son Rhett just forgot to put his deodorant on this morning close-up of Rhett amazed thank you guys I’ll be amazed he is the master of all scientific intricacies thanks professor Mac I don’t know what we would do without you hopefully you would use the bathroom without me see you later oh this is you you smell in your armpits see you later that’s my favorite line in the whole gutless wonder so far thanks professor Mac I don’t know what we would do without you hopefully you will use the bathroom without me see you later rhett and Link exit Matt goes back to drawing on the board tic-tac-toe and there you have it people that’s another installment of gutless wonders now that was I gotta admit that was good writing there then I must have written that mr. Mac was he was just great you might used the bathroom without me everything he said was funny to me we should track him down yeah I make a documentary about it might be dead that would be a shame he’s not dead he’s – he’s that he’s a modicum of ingenuity or whatever he said I’m gonna be he doesn’t gotta not be mr. Mack for the rest of the episode okay just no matter what let’s see where it lands one of these days we’re gonna get one of these special special slots here how do we get so close Rhett tries to cheat off links test what is appropriate because I’ll be mr. back and myself because I administered this catch this is an important test I’ve studied a lot for this and I’m using this as a trapper keeper and I’m using it to keep a rep from cheating all right okay blank hey what are you looking at my test don’t look at my test mr. Mack yes Brett’s looking at my test who does that kind of traffic you Bob oversee yeah it’s just that’s not the point the point is he’s cheating on my test this shit holy what is this is that okay it’s an iPad mr. Maddock what I came from the future on your to be old as you gave me when I was 14 I had a new it would work you [Music]