GMM 16: I Wear Women’s Deodorant

Link, you smell like a woman. – There’s a reason. My name’s Brett and I’m from Michigan. Let’s talk about that. ♪ (theme music) ♪ – Gooooooooood Mythical Morning. – This episode is brought to you by Kotulas.com, The Guys With the Goods. They have the stuff that, when you get it, – your friends will wish they also had it. – I like that, Link! If you’ve liked any of the products we’ve talked about so far on the show, you know what you can do? You can sign up for exclusive email deals, and you can get the Kotula’s catalog full of all the stuff that we’ve talked about and a whole lot – more stuff that we will be talking about. – Like a snowball blaster. Snowball blaster. And you can get this sent to your house for free. Either go to Kotulas.com or just follow the links in the description. Thank you once again for making your morning mythical, even if it’s not the morning when you’re watching. Thanks also for those of you who have made this podcast successful on iTunes. Audio versions and video versions available. We’re number 12 in the video podcast section of iTunes! – Well, the comedy video podcasts. – Yes. Thank you. You wanted to take credit and say that we were number 12 over all podcasts. We could falsely advertise that, but it wouldn’t be true. I was reading one of the reviews over there by Brenna Boyd. She said, “I was looking for a podcast to listen to while I carpool to school. Something my sister, two friends and I would like. We aren’t morning people, yet somehow when we get out of the warm car into the cold, bitter wind, we are still laughing and smiling at this podcast. It brightens – our mornings each day.” – That brightens my morning. That makes me smile when I go out into the bitter winds of Southern California. – (laughs) – Thanks for leaving a review… Briana? – Yeah, if you’ve got– Brenna? Brianna? – Brenna. Brenna. If you’ve got stories like that of how you’ve incorporated Good Mythical Morning into your day… Most of you watch here on YouTube. You experience it, you can comment, you can do all that and that’s great. Some of you are experiencing it over in the iTunes store, that’s great. However you experience it, let us know. Make a video response. Say, “Hey, I’m getting into the bitter cold. I’m thinking – about Good Mythical Morning.” However. – Last week, in a previous episode, I shared that, under an impulse buy– a rare impulse buy in the grocery store, I bought – Old Spice deodorant. – Mmhm. I also shared with you people that, for the previous few weeks, I have been using my wife’s roll-on deodorant because my deodorant ran out. And it’s been– you know, it smells flowery in here. You know how sometimes a woman enters a room and it’s like, all of a sudden it smells good? – Yeah. – You’ve kind of been the woman here, for the past couple of weeks. I appreciate it. – Well… – I’m glad you’re wearing women’s – deodorant. I think you should continue. – Well, the Old Spice deodorant was men’s deodorant, but what has happened is: I’ve gone back, people. I have gone back to my wife’s deodorant. The roll-on. You know, I love the Old Spice commercials. This is nothing against Old Spice, but it didn’t work for me. Listen, I don’t know if this is groundbreaking news for you, but I am thoroughly convinced that I am immune to Old Spice antiperspirant slash deodorant. It doesn’t matter how good the advertisements are, I’m sweating! You know? I started putting it on and I realized, I get the trickle. I’m gettin’ the trickle. And it’s not even lunchtime yet, and I– – The dreaded trickle. – I notice that I’m gettin’ the trickle. At first you think, are there bugs crawling out of my armpits? Moist bugs? It’s just a drop of sweat. Thank goodness it’s just sweat! That’s looking on the bright side. But the dark side is: I’m immune to my deodorant! Did you know that this can happen, people? – I’ve experienced it. – Did you know that you could become – totally immune to your antiperspirant? – I cycle… ever since I was old enough to use deodorant, which I guess is, what, eight grade? I’ve been cycling through because I found… Well, you know, I remember it. We were at Buies Creek – Elementary School. – Yes. Somehow we were in elementary school through eighth grade, which is confusing in itself, but… I remember some of our friends. I specifically remember – Sarah John… – Okay. – who you ended up dating later– – Yes I did. said, “You can become immune to your deodorant.” – Really? Even back then? – Oh yeah. – You didn’t– you’re just telling me now? – You didn’t know about this? – I don’t remember knowing about it. – She was like, you can become immune to your deodorant. I was like, hm. And then about two or three months later, after I was into my first round of whatever it was– Right Guard– at the – time, or whatever… – Yeah, yeah. I started noticing all of a sudden one day, it was twelve o’clock, and I was like… “I stink!” And it wasn’t even sweat, yet, it was just all of a sudden I stunk, and then I stunk for like a week. I was like, I gotta do something. And that was when she told me, “You gotta switch.” I switched to a different one. Boom, I was good again. Until I became immune to that one! Now, for me, it’s pretty much when I get done with one, I think I’ve just stumbled into getting a different one, because you go back and there’s so many choices, and of course I base my decision on the price and the scent. So I end up getting a different one. So I think I’ve bypassed this immunity thing this whole time, in just getting a different kind every time I went. It’s a new one. – But it is a phenomenon, right? – Yes it is. Yes it is. I’ve done some research. Here’s the thing that I found: when I Googled this, I expected, oh, immediately someone’s gonna give an explanation. Now, I did learn a lot about– First of all, there’s a difference between deodorant and antiperspirant. But I couldn’t find anybody– I could find a lot of people talking about the fact that they were immune to their antiperspirant, but I couldn’t find any doctors giving definitive answers that, yes, you can become immune to your antiperspirant and you need to do what you’re saying, which is rotate it around and get a new one every single time. I find it– anecdotal evidence is insurmountable on the internet. You can support it in the comments. But among the medical community, at least in terms of what I could find on the internet, I was surprised that there – wasn’t a definitive answer. – I think the deodorant companies are lobbying with the medical community, because this is bad for the deodorant companies. Because if you’re Old Spice, or Right Guard, or whatever, you don’t want to publicly acknowledge that you become immune to it, because then– Yeah, because then you’ll choose another brand. I’m not gonna buy Old Spice anymore because I think– It’s my problem, again, it’s not Old Spice’s problem, but I’m not gonna buy it anymore ’cause I think that I’m immune to it. And I think you can get– I have had different stages where I’ve become immune to the antiperspirant. Like, all of a sudden I’ll feel the trickle. – Yeah, yeah. – And then I’ve had times where I just – become immune to the deodorant. – Now, let me clarify at this point. According to my research, deodorant makes you not stink. Like, if you’re going into the locker room, you’re about to play basketball or something, you might as well just put on deodorant, because you know you’re gonna sweat. You don’t need to avoid sweating, but you need to avoid stanking. Well, not when you’re playing basketball. I think it could be when you post up on somebody, it could be like some sort of offensive mechanism. – Right, exactly. You want to sweat. – You wanna smell like– – You wanna stink? – You wanna smell like a horse on the basketball court, lemme tell ya. I was a– you know about my basketball days. – You stunk. – I would rub things, like – trash up under there. – And then you would– – Yeah! – That’s good. Thank you for that. That was my secret. I just gave it away. You youngsters out there learning basketball, make yourself stink. You’ll score an extra two points a game. Imma get a little educational here, so bear with me. There’s two different types – of glands– – Whoa, glands. (laughs) –in your skin. And one of them– I don’t know the names, we can throw ’em down there– one gland, it just spits out proteins and fats– – Yeah. – which, then, bacteria start attacking – and make it stank. – Mmhm. – They make it stank. – Bacteria makes it stink. There’s a totally different gland that makes you sweat, and all that comes out of that gland is water and salt. It doesn’t stink, it just– when it evaporates, it cools you off. It’s like an internal air conditioner for humans. – Right. – But they’re two totally different things. Now, you gotta make sure that you don’t just buy a deodorant if you don’t wanna sweat, because a deodorant makes you not stank, but it doesn’t make you not sweat. Two different things. They target two different glands. Then there’s the whole aluminum thing, though. Right. Antiperspirant, the active ingredient, is aluminum or, like, I think it’s zirconium or zinc or something like that. Something with a Z. – Some element. – But basically it clogs up your sweat pores down there so that no sweat can come out. See, I think some people would say, “That’s unnatural.” That we should just let nature happen up under here, you know what I’m saying? Let nature happen – here, happen in other people’s faces… – Yeah. and just get over it as a culture. I tried, because I was kinda freaked out about reading about this aluminum and how it can cause Alzheimer’s and all this different stuff. I went to the straight-up Whole Foods just deodorant. Just, like, – putting a flower up under there. – Yeah, yeah. – That stuff doesn’t work. I smell like– – You have a river flowing out. I smell like a horse again, very soon, like an hour later I smelled like a horse. Then our good friend Gregg was like, “I’m using the crystal.” – I remember this. – He had some kind of special crystal. He said, “I got a rock that is a deodorant.” Is it magical? Is it some kind of new age thing? He was like, “No, it kills the bacteria.” So I got the crystal. It’s like a Thai – deodorant, they call it? – And you’re supposed to wet it before – you put it on. – You put it under the sink and then you rub it. And I was like, “Hm, this is pretty cool, I got a crystal up under my arm.” – I used it– – What’s the point of an antiperspirant that you’ve gotta get wet and then put under your arm in order to stay dry? – First of all, that’s backwards. – Well, because it transfers the contents of the crystal into the underarm region, and then that dries. You kinda have to let it dry a little bit. You have to wait to put your clothes on, which is kind of – inconvenient. – Brush your teeth like this… But I was using the thing for about two weeks, and I was like, “I don’t think it’s working that well.” And then one day I was just, like, smelling the crystal. I picked up the actual crystal before I put it on. Dry. I smelled it. It smells like B.O. How well can this crystal be working if it’s B.O. on the crystal?! Well, maybe it’s taking it off of you. It’s like a sponge, you know? You don’t know if you’re cleaning unless the sponge gets dirty. Leave a comment and let us know if you’ve ever been immune or become immune to your antiperspirant or your deodorant. Or if you’ve used one of those rocks under your arm. We’re pretty certain – those don’t work. – I don’t know. It might work for you, but I’ve got horse underarms and I’m a big man. – Basketball weapon. – Played a lot of basketball, you know? (Link) Here we go, spinning the wheel, seeing how this thing is gonna end. Submit your ideas for how we should end the episodes of Good Mythical Morning. We’d add ’em to the wheel if it’s something we can do in a few seconds. Make it something doable, people. Help us out here. (Rhett) Rhett leaves angry. Okay, so we’re sitting here, we’re ending the show… I don’t know if you’re getting offended… just get mad and leave. Well, this has been great. I think we learned a lot today. (yells) Aaagh! (stomps) – I’m leaving! – I feel like… I feel like more of a – (door slams) – whole person who maybe smells better. Oh, he really was angry. [Captioned by Caitrin: GMM Captioning Team]

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