GMM 1672: Prison Food Hacks Taste Test

Does this jailhouse food rock? – Let’s talk about that. (slow funky music) – Good Mythical Morning. – Joining us today is one of the stars of Showtime’s “Shameless” and the new “Star Wars” game “Jedi: Fallen Order”. It’s Cameron Monaghan. – What’s going on? – Hey! Welcome to the show man. – Thank you very much. – All right. I’ve seen you with the lightsaber on the billboards. That had to be amazing– – It’s a trip, that’s a real trip yeah. That’s like the cover of the thing is me with, you know, the saber, it’s wild, I love it. That’s a dream, that’s a dream. – And then in “Shameless”, you went to prison. How was the prison food? – That was a dream as well, right? – Prison food is probably the best part. – Oh yeah? – Oh yeah. They’re culinary experts there. – Oh, okay, all right. – We got some of those here too, though. – Yeah, it makes sense that prisoners have developed creative meal hacks to spice up those dinners in the big house. Today we’re gonna try some of ’em. It’s time for if we can’t guess these jail foods right, our punishment is 25 to life. – So our culinary team has recreated some prison recipe hacks using only ingredients that prisoners have at their disposal. But they’ve also made up some other recipes on their own. – Yeah, so our job is determine if it’s a real prison recipe which is a locked up snack, or something our team invented, which is made up hack. And whoever guesses right gets the points, the points increase each round, and the winner will win a prison pat-down from Cameron Monaghan himself. – Did you know that? – I did not know that. But congratulations, guys. – Awesome. – Well it might be you. – Oh, I already patted myself down today. (Rhett and Link laughing) Good morning. – Okay Stevie, what is this? Well, it’s a pizza– – This isn’t delivery, it’s penitentiary pizza. The dough is made up by combining water, crackers, and ramen in an empty chip bag and then it’s topped with pepperoni, Slim Jims, onions, and pickles, all in a cheese and tomato squeeze packet base. – I mean, if you put yourself back in that place, and I mean the clink, this is impressive. – Yeah, no, there’s a lot of variety going on here. This is, you know… – It’s good, I like it. I’m gonna do something wrong just to go into the big house. – If I’m on the inside it’s good, but from where I’m sitting right now– – No, I really like it man. – I don’t love it. – Yeah, I don’t love it either. It has kind of a wet cardboard thing going on a little bit. – But the question isn’t whether we love it or not, the question is– – No, no, of course. – Did they make it up or did somebody in prison actually pound this thing out? – Do they get access to Slim Jims do you think? – Yeah. – I bet they do. – Yeah, you think so? Is that like a commissary thing? – You can’t use that as like a weapon. It’s too flimsy. – I don’t know. – There’s a famous story of a guy– – You think you could poke a guy’s eye out? – No, there’s a famous story of a guy sawing through a bar with a really old Slim Jim. – Oh, all right, then we know for a fact that Slim Jims are a thing. – Well, when he says something, that doesn’t mean it’s a fact. – It happened on Alcatraz. – That’s true, that is true. – That’s why they don’t serve Slim Jims. – They made the raft out of Slim Jims too. That’s how they escaped. – We’re gonna three, two, one this one. – [Stevie] Yep, paddles up. Here we go. In three, two, one. – I think it’s real. Oh, we all– – We all think this is real because of your Slim Jim thought. – And I think it’s real good. – [Stevie] Okay guys. This is real. – Yeah. – It is impressive. I mean, pulling this together, complete dish. It’s also impressive that we’re all correct. – Okay, we got bags. – [Stevie] Before you are slammer nugs, AKA prison nuggets, but they’re not exactly what you call a Happy Meal, these nuggets are made with canned chicken and are coated in crusted chips and dipped in a sauce made with peanut butter, soy sauce, and honey. – And what’s in the bag? Peanut butter, soy sauce, and honey? – Yep. – Yeah, probably. (Rhett laughing) I mean, that would be my guess. – It’s kind of like a Chinese food thing, like a peanut sauce. Like, I’m okay with that. – Like a Thai thing. – I don’t know about canned chicken. I don’t think I’ve ever had canned chicken before. That’s the only thing I’m a little concerned about in this situation. – Let’s break this in half and see what we’re working with. Okay, yeah, it’s kind of like canned tuna, but it’s like shredded– – That’s the chicken of the sea so it’s kind of a similar situation. – I like peanut butter. – But I’m making like I’m a pastry chef up in here. (crew laughing) Watch this. – Oh, you’re doing– – Look at that. – [Link] Now you’ve already bitten this thing. How’s it treating you? – Great, greatest, it’s, you know. It sticks around. – It sticks around? – I’m going back for seconds. – Look how well sauced mine is, guys. – [Cameron] That’s beautiful. – It’s weird. I mean, it’s weird to combine peanut butter sauce and Dorito chips. – I like this one as well. – I don’t mind this one. – The chicken and the peanut butter together is good but the Doritos in the middle is throwing me a little bit. – I’m gonna be on the top bunk in prison, let me tell you that right now. I’m a top bunk man. – You’re not talking about beds, are you? – ‘Cause I’m tall. – It’s an entendre. All right. – ‘Cause I’m tall, I’m really tall. It’s really easy for me to get on the top bunk. – [Stevie] Okay, here we go. Three, two, one. – Y’all made up nugs. – You know what, I’m switching. I’m like, I’m, yes I did look at your votes. – The name was too clever, the name was too clever. – Yeah, I think it’s just too much of a thing that, like a Chinese food thing– – And the Doritos, it’s too creative. – [Stevie] We’re in a weird world where slammer nugs is a creative name, but it is fake. – Yeah! – Okay, all right. – My play didn’t work. So you guys have pulled ahead. – Yeah we did. – Whatcha think of that? – You guys just brought out the big guns. – [Rhett] What is happening? – [Stevie] You’re looking at shampoo cider. The cider’s mixed in a shampoo bottle to conceal it from the correction officers. Of course, these are clear so you guys can see inside. It’s made with moldy bread, apples, water, and 20 packets of sugar. – So this is a prison wine? – [Stevie] Prison cider, sure, yes. – But it’s alcoholic– – That’s why we made so much of it so that we can consume it after this episode. – We may not have given it enough time. Is there alcohol in here right now? – [Crew Member] It was fermented for five days, so maybe. – Oh, probably not, okay. I mean, should we just dispense? – That’s nice. (crew laughing) – You know what, it tastes just like, it tastes like that wine we made when we were kids. (Rhett laughing) – You think he’s joking, but he’s not. – What? – Rhett had, when you went into Rhett’s childhood bathroom, there was also a little closet that had the AC unit in it and above the AC unit, he had like a three liter bottle with grapes and sugar and it was covered with a paper towel– – I also made strawberry banana. – How old were you for this? – Say, 15. – 15, 15 years old and making your own prison wine. – We took it out to the river and drank it and it was absolutely horrible. – But in my mind, it tasted good, ’cause I like this. – This is much better. – I like drinking like this. How come this hasn’t caught on? – It should. – You let one big-time athlete do this on the side line… – Right, it’s not different than a sports bottle. – Think about that. “Did you see Tom Brady squirting into his mouth?” – And I think he has people squirting into other people’s mouths. – Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh God. (laughs) – This is great. – Sorry. – No, it’s great. You put it behind your ears like a great cologne. – You know what, now do it back to him. Link, now Cameron needs to– – I would never. – I’m gonna do it back to him. (Cameron laughing) – Okay. – That’s what he deserved. – I didn’t do that on purpose. If it were him, I would have done it on purpose. – Oh, I know you didn’t do it on purpose. – I already smelled like prison wine anyway. – You did it because you’re Link. – My one chance to be friends with somebody from “Star Wars” I’ve screwed it up. – [Stevie] Okay, here we go. Three, two, one. – This is for real. – Yeah, you know this is real. – [Stevie] Yeah, you’re all right, it’s for real. – Oh gosh. – [Stevie] This is jack mac and the jailhouse fry-a-lator, AKA fried mackerel. It’s made using canned mackerel battered with chips and fried in old mayonnaise oil, then heated inside of a makeshift oven which is just a tin can rigged with heating elements taken from a hot plate. – What? – So they make their own deep fryer. – Wow, that’s resourceful. I don’t know if I believe that, though. – [Link] I don’t know if I’m hungry enough to eat this. – This smells awful. – You know what, there’s forks if you don’t want to just go for like, the whole thing and like, if you just wanna kinda dig it out a little bit. That’s what I’m planning on doing here. – Here’s the thing, unless we eat it, we’re not really gonna know if it can be made in prison. – Yeah, that’s true. There’s only one way. – Oh, it’s not bad. It’s not bad. – I mean, as far as fried fish go, it’s pretty good. – It’s kind of got a Long John Silver’s thing going on. – I don’t know about that. I’m a fish and chips fan. I like some fried fish. – But? – I’ll be honest, it’s not doing it for me. – Yeah, the presentation doesn’t help. – The thing is is that you’re frying already cooked canned mackerel that has a little bit like, it didn’t work out like a twice baked potato, if you know what I mean. – Yeah, it mushes it up a little bit. – But fried in mayonnaise part, is that something they would make up? It’s very detailed. Are they trying to fool us? – Oh, those details sound really authentic. – [Stevie] You ready? Three, two, one. – I think this is real, guys. – I’m going made up hack, even though it seemed real. – It’s the deep fryer thing. – I can pull back in the lead. – [Stevie] This dish is real. – Yeah! – Yeah. – We got a comeback. – I made it. – Okay, all right Link, welcome to the game. – [Stevie] This is trash bag toilet pudding, AKA bread pudding. It’s made by combining bread, creamer, coffee, and water in a trash bag, which is then placed inside of water being boiled by exposed electrical wires and yes, that boiled water is found inside of, you guessed it, a toilet. – Ew. Oh, it’s very warm. – They can’t get– – Oh yeah. You wanna? – It looks like some sort of baby. – [Cameron] It’s very jiggly. – Rhett’s positioning himself to bite it. Oh my gosh. – Oh, that’s, oh I like that. – Okay, because I didn’t accept your offer at first, I’m going third. – It’s a little bland, I mean. It could some sauce of some kind. But you guys are, I think you’re overreacting because of the presentation. – The consistency of it– – Yeah, it’s the texture. – The texture is horrible. It is so mushy. – You don’t like the feel of like you’re biting into like a slightly rotted organ? – I’m not into that. – I’m still stuck on the baby thing. – When you just, let’s just deliver it completely. – Oh, it’s beautiful. That’s the miracle of life right there. – What do they call it when those babies come out and they’re just like balls of hair and fingernails? – Oh, Rhett, come on man. That’s horrible. – A dermoid. It’s a real thing. – Don’t bring up dermoids. – It’s not a person. It’s just like a mistake. – That is a great insult. – No, I’m serious. – You dermoid. – Yes! – I’m not being insensitive here. You may think that I am, but I’m not. It’s literally like something went wrong and there’s just like– – [Stevie] You do know that solves everything if you state you’re not being insensitive. – It’s just like a dermoid, I’m sorry. I call it like I see it. And I see a dermoid. – But you are sorry. – Is it real or not though? Dermoids are. They are. – Oh God. Okay, let’s guess here. Three, two, one. – I think it’s a locked up snack. – Okay, so you’re the odd man out. – I don’t believe this. I don’t believe anyone would choose to consume this willingly. – Hold on, but here’s the deal. I can’t do the same as Link because then I’m just giving it to you to win. – Oh, you’re trying to game it. – I gotta hope for a tie. We can pat each other down if we win. – Okay. – Of course, if I do this, then I know I win. – Automatically. – Then I’ll do this. – Then I’ll do that too. (all laughing) – How ’bout that? – [Stevie] Are you guys locked in? – Not really. – Now I am. – Oh, yep. – Okay, go. – [Stevie] Okay, this dish is fake. (Rhett cheering) – No! You dermoid. Y’all tied and won. – Okay, we won the pat down. – You get to give each other– – Well, actually, the prize was a pat down from Cameron Monaghan so I mean, I think you gotta pat down yourself. – We can, it’s a mutual pat down situation. We can go, do we do TSA style like a back of the hands sort of deal, sort of like, let’s, you know. There we go. Here we are. Yep. – You’re clean. – He’s good, this guy’s good. – You know what, I deserve to not win a pat down after how I doused you man. I’m gonna be waking up in the middle of the night thinking “God, I’m so stupid.” – Yeah, you are. Thank you Cameron– – I coulda been in a “Star Wars” video game with my friend Cameron. – For dining with us today. Make sure you check him out in season 10 of “Shameless” on Showtime and in the new “Star Wars” game, “Jedi: Fallen Order”, available now. – Thanks man. And thanks for subscribing and clicking that bell. – You say “you know what time it is.” – You know what time it is. – Hey guys, my name’s Zack from Abilene, Texas. This is my lightsaber I made. And it’s time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality. – That dude’s got an intense fridge in his room. – Is that legal? – It’s street legal. – Should we contact him? Click the top link to watch us dish out “Star Wars” pick up lines at Good Mythical More. – And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality’s gonna land. – [Rhett] Attention Mythical Society members, you can now get exclusive items, including logo tees at Mythical.com, just make sure you keep it on the hush hush.

Discover more from Searchicality

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading