Which low-fat salad dressing is good enough? – Let’s talk about that. (slow funky music) Good Mythical Morning. – It’s a fresh new year and that might mean that you’re finding yourself opting for fresher, healthier meals. Less burgers and fries and more salads and salads. But that doesn’t mean your decisions are dumb because every salad needs dressing and every dressing seems to have a normal option and a healthier alternative. – Yeah, so today we wanna find out if you’re gonna slather some dressing on those mundane mixed greens, is it worth compromising even more flavor for the diet dressings or should you stick with the creamy, full-fat blessings. It’s time for good enough low-fat salad dressing edition. – All right, we got crazy. We gathered the most popular salad dressings on the market and their low-fat counterparts. Woo, we like to party! – We party. – Now we’re gonna try both versions of the dressing and then compare their nutritional differences to decide if the low-fat version is good enough or ugh, that’s rough. – Okay, and we’re gonna start with Newman’s Own Classic Caesar dressing versus Newman’s Own light Caesar Dressing. – I’ve got the regular, you gots the lights. – 100% profits go to charity since 1982. Isn’t that sweet? – It is. Now, last time we did this format with ice cream, a bunch of y’all in the comments said “you should do this with blindfolds.” But listen, in the real world, you don’t grocery shop with blindfolds. You know whether or not you’re getting the low-fat or the regular dressing and frankly, it’s not that hard to tell the difference between the two in a side-by-side taste test. So it’s not that interesting. The question really is is it good enough for the health benefits that it offers. – Okay. Okay, so, I’ve got the light one. We should taste this one first, right? Oh, how did that happen? (Rhett laughing) We were both jabbing. – I got yours and I got mine. – Dinkin’ a salad is kinda, that’s kinda gentle. – Oh, I like that. – It’s a good dressing. – Would you know you’re missing anything? – I feel like I should be blindfolded. – [Rhett] I wouldn’t think I was missing anything. – [Link] No. – Hold on good buddy. – I mean, yeah, it’s still very, what I would say, pungent. Like a good Caesar-y pungency. – Whoa. Do you know what’s stronger on this on? – The fat? – It’s more oily because of the fat, but there’s another flavor that’s significantly stronger in a way that I do not enjoy. – Oh snap, right off the bat, you’re not even liking the regular as much. – The anchovy flavor, which I know is part of Caesar dressing is off-putting in the regs. – Now there’s an 80 calorie difference. You’re not even liking this. But we did some calculations. I’m gonna put this in terms of deck building. That’s right, deck building. Deck building burns 358 calories in an hour, which means you’d have to build a deck for 13.4 minutes in order to burn the extra 80 calories in that dressing. – That’s not a lot of deck building, son. – So if you liked it, you might– – 13 point, that might be like, two slats. – You might be willing to do some more deck building– – Two slats and a cigarette. – But you don’t even– – ‘Cause boy when I build decks, I smoke like a chimney. I don’t, it’s a joke, okay– – Don’t smoke. – I don’t smoke. I don’t endorse it. Get over yourself. (crew laughing) I like the light better. – So we’re undermining our entire premise because not only is this good enough, we’ve said that it’s better. – I might build a deck for half an hour in order to get the light dressing. Whoa, what a world we live in. – [Link] It’s good, good, good enough. – Now we have Hidden Valley classic ranch dressing versus Hidden Valley fat-free ranch. Now the classic version has 110 more calories and 14 more grams of fat than the fat-free version. And let me put that in terms of running from a serial killer through a ranch, ’cause that could happen. Running burns 895 calories an hour, so you’d have to run really fast for about seven minutes if you want to burn off the difference in calories, but you still are going to die. – Why you gotta be so dark about this? – You’re gonna die, he’s gonna catch up with you because you haven’t been exercising enough, you’re gonna get winded and he’s like, was a sprinter in high school– – It’s a happy place, man. – He’s a sprinter in high school. – I’ve always thought I would just love to stumble upon a valley that’s been hidden and then it’s just flowing with ranch and now you put a serial killer there. – I think the ranch is hidden, not the dressing. – So this is light. We’re gonna start here. – I love how you have to put, lodge that into your brain every time. Tastes fat-free. – Carrot tastes crappy, too. – It’s a bad carrot. – That ranch tastes so bad. – It’s so fat-free. – Is the carrot bad or is just the ranch? – You gotta go to celery to find out. – I’m just going straight ranch. Oh my gosh. – The ranch is bad. I mean, it’s so bad it tastes like it’s gone bad. Has it gone bad? – [Link] I’m gonna dip this back in the reg. – [Rhett] It looks different. It’s more off-white. – I’m back in the valley. – Back home on the ranch. – And how fast and far am I running to get away from the serial killer? – Seven minutes, friend. – So I’m running from a serial killer for seven minutes to burn the calories of eating the better stuff, which I think we’re agreeing on, but doesn’t the serial killer still catch you? – I’d let the serial killer catch me. I wouldn’t even run. I’d say I don’t want fat-free, just kill me. – So the serial killer could use regular as bait, but if they used this as bait, then you’re not falling for it. It’s dramatically different. I mean, and again, we tasted this first. – You need some fat just to know you’re alive. – [Link] So is this fat-free ranch good enough? – [Rhett] Ugh, that’s rough. – Okay, now we got Wishbone Thousand Island dressing, which is my go-to as a child, versus Wishbone’s light Thousand Island dressing, which is my aunt’s go-to as an adult. All right, the light version’s got 60 less calories per serving and 40% less fat than the classic. I assume it doesn’t tastes as good, but we’re gonna eat it on this protein style turkey burger to find out. – I’m gonna cut these protein style turkey burgers in half. – Oh, I like what you’ve done with yourself. Now, Nicole, not necessary. – [Nicole] Noted. – Can I just point out that Wishbone’s not really trying with their packaging. – What do you mean? – It kinda looks like they got an intern to do it. – What do you mean? Like the label? The label’s kind of underwhelming? – Yeah, and they’re like “what’s the difference with it? “Oh, just put a little strip on there that says light.” Be more creative than that. – I’m searching for some added flavor from the thousands of islands. – I don’t dislike what I just put in my mouth. – But I wouldn’t say that the thousand island, you know what, I don’t care if you put tomatoes on things. It gives me something to do and complain about. – [Nicole] Okay. (Rhett laughing) – Okay. There’s a richness to this, oh. – It’s dramatically different. There’s just no flavor in that dressing, man. – You mind if I dip straight in? – I’m gonna eat a little bit more of this, ’cause it looks the same. – Bad, huh? – It’s just not good, but okay. Let’s put this in terms of folding origami. ‘Cause people believe that if you fold 1000 origami cranes, your wish will come true. – People believe that? I don’t believe that. – Since folding origami burns around 100 calories per hour, it’s not a very intense process, you’d have to fold cranes for 35 minutes in order to burn the difference in these calories. Are you willing to fold cranes for an additional 35 minutes in order to taste this exquisitely tasty-ish dressing? – Well, I’ve been thinking about starting folding cranes. That is something that I’ve been thinking about for this year. – Well if you do 1000, you get your wish. – Gonna start my own Insta, or at least I’m gonna start with like a, what do you call it? What is that thing? Pinterest. (Rhett laughing) I’m gonna start a Pinterest, man. – 35 minutes every time you want to eat a salad with that on it, of folding cranes though. That’s gonna get old. That’s not tipping the scales for us. – I did not enjoy this at all. And listen, I’m here to enjoy myself, man. You live once. Go hard, die early, be happy. – And in the mean time, fold cranes. – [Rhett] Low-fat version? – [Both] Ugh, that’s rough. – Okay, so this is regular Kraft Zesty Italian dressing versus the fat-free version. – Now, are you an Italian dresser? – You know what I like to do with this? – [Both] Marinate. – Chicken breasts. – You can marinate anything you want with this. I also do like, if from time to time, on my salads. Now the fat-free version has 45 less calories per serving than the full-fat version. Let me put that in terms of cooking an Italian meal with your grandma Febrezia. – Oh, do that. – She’s the one who invented Febreeze. – She did? – Yeah. – Febrezia. – Cooking burns 179 calories per hour. You know, it really depends on how big your kitchen is and how big your pots are. – And how hard you cook. – But you’d have to cook for 13.4 minutes to burn the difference in these calories off. – Well that’s the same amount of minutes as origami folding from the last example. – No, it’s the same amount from the first example. – Oh, the first example. I don’t remember what’s said on this show. Ever forward, ever onward. – Man, I don’t like it ’cause I know what’s coming. – It’s still Italian. It’s kind of watery. I don’t think this is bad. – Taste that. – Okay, have you tasted it yet or you just know something? – Man, I’ve marinaded so many things. I’ve marinaded my tongue in this one time. – Oh, it’s got a bite to it. It’s got so much more zest. – Oh man. If you’re gonna call something zesty, you gotta be zesty. – This has some zest though. – Not enough. – 13.4 minutes of cooking with a grandma who, I don’t know, she gets kind of– – Let’s go straight dressing. – She’s gets kind of ornery. A lot can happen in 13.4 minutes. She could get upset. She could start hitting you with a ladle, man. You want to get hit with a ladle? – That’s all part of the experience though. It’s complex, man. This has got layers. Tell me that doesn’t have layers. – Oh wow. – It’s like a bottom and a top and everything in between. – And it makes your jaw kind of clench up. – Man, it’s so zesty. – It’s like if I had to bite down on something, I would just like, I might not let go like a snappin’ turtle. It’s that, it’s got that kind of to it. I liked that. But again, is this good enough? – 13.4 minutes of cooking is, it’s fun, man. It’s like, it’s an experience. Some people might even pay for that kind of thing. That’s nothing, man. And you could also do actual exercise and be there even faster. – Yeah, I mean, this is hands down so much of a better mouth experience. – Okay, so the low-fat version of Zesty Italian dressing… – [Both] Ugh, that’s rough. – All right, now Ken’s stepping up to the plate. Steakhouse Chunky Blue Cheese versus Steakhouse Light Chunky Blue Cheese. The difference is 70 less calories per serving than the classic– – That’s a lot. – And I’m gonna put this in terms of sports spectation. Let’s say you’re out, you know, ’cause you’re eating wings when you’re sports spectating and then you’re team loses, you start crying. Now, crying burns 78 calories an hour so you’ve have to cry for 54 minutes– – That’s a lot of crying. – To burn the difference in these calories off. You’re crying for an hour. – Well that’s like just making it like one third of the way through “The Notebook”. (crew laughing) And then you’re done. Can I just, I know we’re not talking about design, but Ken’s has got it going on. – [Link] You like that bottle, yeah? – They don’t put some stock image of a salad that may or may not look like what you’re putting it on ’cause look, this isn’t even a salad, it’s chicken. I like when you can make your own decisions. Don’t put food on something that’s not what it is. – Now it is thick and chunky. I don’t love blue cheese but I can enjoy it on a hot wing. – Hot chicken wing. As a blue cheese man… – [Link] Not bad. – I’d say that’s got the tang that I’m after. – And you know you have to tang. – All my life. (crew laughing) – Just go over here. What happened? You went back in for another. – I had to eat the whole chicken wing. – Now last time we were doing chicken wing on the show, people were complimenting me on my, just stripping that bone. – I don’t have the opportunity to do that ’cause I’ve got a drumstick. It’s better, it’s clearly better. – As a blue cheese non-aficionado, I kinda forgot what this was like. – It’s not clear, is it? I don’t know how they did it. – The light is still very pungent. – How do they pack so much tang into that? – And then when you’re freakin’ crying for like, almost an hour, I mean. First of all, if you feel like crying, cry. Don’t fight it. – Just do it. – Just let the wave of emotion just flow. Just ride it out. It’s good. You’ll feel actually, you might feel better on the other side of it. If you’re stifling those cries, it’s not healthy. – So you’re encouraging crying anyway, but you’re saying you don’t have to cry for me, Argentina, because the low-fat version is actually good enough. And that means that we’ve had two dressings that are indeed good enough. That’s Newman’s Own Light Caesar dressing and Ken’s Steakhouse Light Chunky Blue Cheese with the tang coming through, kids. – Ken, you tangy dog. – Thanks for subscribing and clicking that bell. – Oh, you know what time it is. – Hi, we’re the Gaelic Gamble and we’re swimming at the Kentucky Renaissance Fair. – [Group] And it’s time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality. – I’ll bet they’re a handful. – Click the top link to watch us guess weird but real Hidden Valley ranch flavors in Good Mythical More. – And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality’s gonna land. – [Rhett] Embark on a cinematic journey of visual discovery of 80’s movies Link hasn’t seen, coming soon to all 3rd degree Mythical Society members. Join by January 31st.