middle-schoolers should not date let’s talk about that hey I’m Krista from Ventura California good mythical morning good mythical morning this episode is brought to you by the rent link community go to rhettandlink.com/store well intense speaking of taking relationships to the next level we are going to continue to talk about our experience in the dating world you keep talking about gaining your girlfriends what do you guys keep talking about your girlfriend that it does that you’re coming replace commenter voice I hijacked it well the reason we’re gonna talk about our girlfriends is because it’s we like to talk about stuff to happen in the pageant just let me just get it over it no just go with it I hope through that camera hopefully you enjoy and you enjoy this yeah and if you don’t you’ll cut your comment accordingly yeah so anyway we talked about in previous episodes about how we we had the same first girlfriend that was a Leslie yeah yeah and well that we alluded to the fact that we also had the same second girlfriend in the same second girlfriend was amber and I’m going to tell you not the rock an actual person I’m going that’s good link I’m going to tell you about amber and and I’m gonna do this how everything everything that happened in eighth grade this is my eighth grade year no first of all I was riding high in sixth grade cuz I was like I got Leslie you know I did you know I can’t outdo myself from here and then seventh grade I come in there I’m just like who’s next and I’m not look I was with Leslie then so I was like what do I do and in amber at the time was with Matt McKinney remember that they did all that year yeah so I was like well I’m like anybody else Vinnie wants to the prom in high school dressed as a woman he did but but we won’t talk about no we won’t he was just making a state was making a statement this statement made and then in eighth grade they had they had broken up over the summer or whatever so I was like and she’s a good-looking girl maybe I should try to go with her sweet personality of course I wasn’t man enough to actually approach her sounds like well that also also that’s not how things have done right yeah you gotta establish the enemy intermediary but I was like you know what you know what I’m gonna do I’m gonna talk to Matt about this ex-boyfriend yeah okay he’s knows her well you know they were dated a whole year yeah so go to Madeline hey Matt you think you could talk to him before me you’re kidding me no I went through the ex-boyfriend he was like sure whatever I don’t have an interest anymore I end up so he talked to amber and we established interests through Matt and then somehow that is funny somehow you know I’m not laughing externally but internally I’m just labeling that fun in the process of pursuing amber as my girlfriend I quit using Matt and I began using Adam Nicholson Adam Nicholson uh-huh he’s an unlikely intermediary he was a nice guy who’s like a he was like a he he’s like a teddy bear kind of a guy but Renly guy girls like him as a friend yeah what I first some reason he had established this dialogue with the ladies and I was like well okay this is this’ll work and so I remember telling Adam I was like I’m interested in amber and I’m not in she knows now because I told her ex-boyfriend that I’m interested in her yeah and I remember very distinctly all these memories are very vivid for me she was at cheerleading practice it was the Buies Creek demons remember our mascot was a demon yeah kind of crazy and a little conservative little town we have a the demon mascot he was friendly not really not really had a pitchfork he would you know pull you into sin miss at any moment and flaming Zod’s I think people were burning in his eyes and so she’s out there doing the little when my name is Amber and I’m here to say that I’m really really cool and I’d like you Annie whatever it was you know she wasn’t cheerleading too you know well that’s what I thought that’s what I’ve said she’s hearing directly at me and so Adam somehow like Adam goes into the chilean practice talks talk talks locker room know she’s there out there on the gymnasium at all a DS that’s how it works I’m in here to deliver a message and then he comes back out any and he’s like she said yes he said yet and I remember this is the begin made great I was like this is going to be a good year yeah yeah I was very excited now did you immediately go and talk to her was it like I think it still intermediate I think I talked to her now ad I do go back in and say I’m glad I was first the thing that I understood that I don’t think you ever understood is once it happens official is you get rid of the intermediary because then it becomes really awkward if you’re conducting a relationship through someone another man right of all people so anyway so I was like well I you know I got a caller I get a phone number and in we had discussed your system I was like well I’m gonna call her and link apparently had some 16 though you had no success I sounded like a good system of course we talked about link system last week and that was the I write down your question you had like an outline that you were gonna take into your conversation and you know it’s not like we’re doing FaceTime they didn’t have that back then so she can’t see me reading my little notebook paper yeah yeah so I specifically remember I was watching an episode of The Wonder Years remember great show with Fred Savage and I remember specifically never watched it so sad sorry so anyway I’m watching episode 4 Wonder Years and of course it’s a great show so I don’t want to stop but you converted him this before DVR of course and the commercial break comes I’m like well I’m gonna I’m gonna call amber and I’m gonna take him a little I got my I think I was nervous first of all but I had my system and I had like my my system 3 or your system three or four things I was going to talk to a get her on the phone I don’t remember what my system entailed I don’t remember what the four things were all I remember is that I was done with the conversation and back watching Wonder Years by the end of the commercial break mmm some commercial breaks are about 4 minutes you know so this was a short conversation it’s not a relationship building length of time there but I will tell you that within one month because we ended up dating for eight months basically the entire eighth grade year not only were we talking for four minutes we were we it was so pathetic when I think about it now we were talking for hours you weren’t one of those couples that bill Killian one of you would be you both be on the phone but you just be doing stuff no no I’m not actually talking to each other she might have been doing something I was just laying there listen to her breathe I don’t recall that but I got a new cheers to tell me about no it was my sambar I like that one tell me that one again my name is Amber I don’t remember holding my mouth like that either like a horse he had a horse mouth no but listen I I’m being I’m gonna be vulnerable here I would say things like yeah be vulnerable I miss you I just seen her at school I was seeing her the next day it’s not like I’m in the front tears did you mean it I think so I don’t know how he was so apathetic and not only that and I’m getting to a bigger point here that we made it in the teaser I miss you and that is I had to experience that you know we went through several holidays together I specifically remember Christmas you know coming that that year I was like Oh baby I’m gonna go to my girlfriend’s house on Christmas Day mm-hmm and give her a present as an 8th grader that’s it listen let me tell you what I wore to her house I wore a red sweater I remember this a red sweater he dressed up like Santa and a white turtle oh no I had a red sweater and a white turtleneck in a present I was like and you know the my parents have to drive me over there of course and dropped me off and I go to the door like his amber here you know and and I go in there I just remember we sat on this little sofa in her living room like a little sitting area and I had my present and I didn’t the thing that we talked about with Lesley this thing here grasped my right grabs my hand this put your arm around me come on let’s demonstrate this gizmo and so I was just like in my Christmas outfit I don’t know what she had on but I know what I had on I had on a red sweater and a white turtleneck she looked like that and we just sit there like this on Christmas Day I meet you I’m nice okay it starting to get weird no but starting to get weird and then I remember Valentine’s Day came and I got her I got her a pink ice ring remember all the girls liked pink ice back in like the early 90s I heard it and I was like oh I got to get to this pink ice cream now that’s like the plastic version of a rock it’s not it isn’t real it’s like they make it in like a factory in Irwin we got saying that seems appropriate for middle school but that what doesn’t seem appropriate this is where we’re going is the whole premise yes I this is what I want to say I think that what was actually happening here in this relationship was that I was mimicking what I saw on television and I was mimicking what I saw older people do and I was entirely too young emotionally to have this sort of like committed relationship like she’s my girlfriend and I get her things on the thing when it’s a holiday and I wear my red this is actually our home aboard bowtie players but if you think about it and this is my advice to those of you who are in middle school and I think that honestly you might you know I think the argument could be made for high schoolers – hmm but you take it how how you will preach this teenage time is just not a time to be into this like faux committed relationship because trust me it’s faux info means false means fake okay it’s not real but there’s an ex I mean I don’t mean makes it complete I don’t need to say that you don’t have real feelings or whatever but so many things are happening with you right now if you’re in middle school that you’re gonna and when you get to be older you’re gonna look back and gonna be like man I didn’t know anything about anything well it’s just a fact I already like you using the term the verb mimic because I think that really captures it that it’s it’s it’s not a yeah it’s like all the puzzle pieces aren’t even there and you’re trying to build something just based well it’s just supposed to look at you know just enjoy your life well I think the question is what can be learned what can be learned from a relationship at that point you know and we’re going really serious here you know because oh yeah I got I got a daughter and I’m thinking I’m thinking she might need to watch this one what what do they have to gain middle schoolers what do you have to gain being in a relationship at that age you know it’s just you have a lot to lose if you have a lot to live a lots of hours you don’t have anything to gain just be friends Andrew and start to learn very slowly that men and women are varied and it’s very difficult to do this distance but I would say that the thing that I’m trying to communicate is that any we should be able to do this at every point in our lives because even now as I’m about to turn 35 in a couple weeks okay I’m old I’m getting old especially to most of people who watched over 11th male I’m a Christmas present for that birthday but you know what I need to be able to understand that my parents who are you know in their late 60s mid 60’s late 60s they know more about life than I do and I needed in a hat you have to like stop and be like okay they have experienced this they’re telling me things about what I’m experiencing right now you have to trust so what I’m telling you if somebody’s been through it just hold off hold those emotions a little bit tighter you don’t need to have some serious relationship in middle schools is turn into like a public service announcement I feel good about I mean now you will be if you have a show one day you might be able to tell a funny story about it will say that cool you can exploit it later for for whatever you can squeeze out of it here we go win the lottery hey I uh I I got this ticket like a lottery ticket maybe I think they call it a scratcher okay and they just said the they just came onto the TV and they said that the numbers were Josh Krajcik paused it I’ve already scratched it yeah ten if it is 1476 3217 that on the weather we won the lottery I may hold it I got no how about this we wonder what are we gonna spend it on we’re gonna spin it on equipment we’ll go spinning on dating advice tapes we can make dating advice VHS tapes for metal schoolers and think about how many we can make a lot we won the lottery