Why buy the cow when you can get the milk from something totally different? – Let’s talk about that. (jingle sounding) Good Mythical Morning. – Now it seems like the alternatives to cows’ milk are endless. Just when you think there’s no more plants or grains or nuts to be milked, here comes an udder one! – Ha ha ha ha. – So how are we supposed to know which of the myriad options is best for your cereal or your coffee or your daily milk bath? – Gotta have that. – Well, simple. You ask your own personal mythical crew to go get all of them for a definitive taste test. – So that’s exactly what we did. It’s time for, “Not All Milk Comes from an Udder, but Which Makes us Drool, like the Gorgeous Paul Rudd-er? – Gorgeous, huh? – Yeah. He’s so gorgeous. – They like to put words in our mouths. – I can recognize when a man is attractive. – Yeah, but they put the words in your mouth. – No, no, I specifically made a call to the writers and say, Hey, can you work gorgeous Paul Rudder into something? – Yeah. (crew chuckling) We’ve all done, actually, we’ve done all sorts of stuff with milk alternatives in the past. We’ve guessed the nut milk, we’ve tried strange animal milks. We’ve even tried Jim Bakker’s, apocalypse milk! – Love you, Jim… No. (crew chuckles), (Rhett chuckles) – But we’ve never done… The gorgeous Jim Bakker (crew laughing) but we’ve never done the service of determining which milk alternative is best for specific occasions. – Until today. So we’re gonna be blindly tasting soy, almond, rice and oat milks, plus a wild card milk per round. – Okay… – That changes, just to keep things spicy, but not spicy, milky. – Yeah. – And we’re gonna be trying those in each round in a different culinary context so that we will say what our favorite is. And then Stevie will tell us what our favorite is. – Yes. Because we wouldn’t have known. – It’s really a service to us. (crew chuckling) – Yeah. (cheerful music) – Okay, we’re starting with cereal. We’re all excited. And of course we’re doing what we determined to be the best cereal, Cinnamon Toast Crunch. – [Link] Uh huh. – [Rhett] Each got our own little bowls here. – This, this milk is already cinnamon-ed, but it’s a browner milk. – I mean Cinnamon Toast Crunch has a lot of flavor. – Yeah. So it’s actually staying out of the way. this one’s. This one seems to be a- – I don’t dislike that all. – a whiter milk. It’s thicker. That milk’s bringing more to the table. – Interesting that’s how you feel about this one. – You don’t think it’s thicker? – I was gonna say it’s thinner. Neither one of ’em are bringing much to the table in terms of taste, which- – Now this one is clearly, number three is clearly the thinnest. – That’s some watery milk – Not loving that. I mean, I’m not really hating anything when you’re giving me Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but… – This has the most milk-like quality to it from my eye. Maybe it’s just the distance that we are from it. – Ooh. It’s it’s it’s bringing a taste to the party. – Man, the Cinnamon Toast Crunch is so good. – I’m not gonna go back in here. I’m gonna go to the last one. – Let you do that. – You wanna try that? I’ll be over here. – Oh, this one’s got almost a gelatinous, it’s almost a yogurt-like quality to it. – You think? Maybe this is the wild card. – No, that’s coconut milk. – [Link] You think it’s coconut? – [Rhett] I believe so. – [Link] I don’t love it. (bowl scraping) – Hmm. Okay. – I gotta go back here right quick, y’all. – Yep. – [Stevie] Okay, so remember you’re gonna be picking your favorite, you’re not even trying to guess what’s what. And if you both pick the same favorite, we got a little surprise for you. – A little surprise? – Yeah. – I love surprises. – Huh? Alright. – [Stevie] Okay. I’m gonna give you a 3, 2, 1. – There’s a clear winner in my mind. – It’s pretty close to two, but I’ve got one that I think is the best – 3, 2, 1. – Wha-Bang! – Up! Nope, so we don’t agree we don’t get the prize. – [Rhett] Both of these were pretty good to me. – Okay. – [Stevie] Do you think, you know what they are? – Yeah. Number one’s gotta be oat milk. – Number two is oat milk. – Two is the milk, yeah. – What’s number one? – Number one is soy milk. – Really? – You’re a soy boy, he’s a soy boy. – [Stevie] And then the other ones, we have rice milk, almond milk, and the last one is flax. – Oh really? So there wasn’t a coconut milk? – [Stevie] No. – Flax. – Flax did not taste good but I think all four of these were, what did you say, this is rice? – Yeah. Rice is a little too thin, little too thin. – I’m a soy boy. – He’s a soy boy. (cheerful music) – I definitely take milk in my coffee. Well, I take half and half, but I will take milk. – I’ll take whatever I can get. – And ’cause I don’t like it black. How are we gonna, are you gonna cream me- – I’ll let you milk me. – I’ll cream you but I’m gonna cream myself more than I cream you because I like it. I like more. – Yeah. Gimme a little less. I’ll tell you like… – [Rhett] This is it good for you, right there. – Whoa! A little more. – Like that much? – I take more milk than I take, well, I’d like to, see it. – Well I think when you make the thing I’m gonna “Whoop” for you and “Whoop” for me for me. – And I’m gonna “Whoop Whoop” for you. – And I’m gonna “Whoop for me” – And I’m gonna “Whoop for me” – Oh, this is fun. – And I’m gonna “Whoop, whoop” for you. – [Rhett] And I’ll do a little stirry-stir. – I’m still not happy with the coloring. – But it’s not the cream’s fault. You could do a little bit- – Yeah. It’s your fault. – You could do a little bit of milk and it just discolors the whole thing. – Oh gosh. – That’s not good. – That’s bad. (Stevie laughing) – I mean,- – I’m trying to, I’m trying to isolate it to the cream. You know you can pour some more in there, but there’s not any. I mean I poured it all in here and I still can’t tell a difference. – It’s just not… They haven’t figured this one out yet. – If not… – In terms of just milk replacement for your coffee. – I mean, I guess you can just go with a non-dairy creamer but I had high hopes that one of these would really stand out. – This is significantly better than the first one. That first one is just awful on all kinds of levels. – It’s not- – Well, I mean, you’re really going for it. I mean, what about me? Would I want more? – You said you liked it. Do you want some more? (crew chuckles) I mean, one of us has to really name… – I feel like I recognize what this is. – You can drink out of this one. This is, I don’t know. It’s familiar to me, and it’s not good. – Oh God, none of this is good. – There’s too much flavor in this one. It’s impacting the flavor of the coffee. This is actually complimenting the coffee, thus far. It’s my fave… – The third one, huh? – The second one. – Hm mm. – Okay. This isn’t doing much either. – Ooh, this is I’m isn’t bad. – I’m tasting mostly coffee. – Well, yeah, I put a lot more in this one. Do you wanna taste this one? – No. I mean you didn’t put that much more. It’s almost exact same color. – And then finally, I’ll give you a little bit more and then… – Okay. Okay. – That’s not bad either. – So the second, the fourth and the fifth are the ones I’m narrowing it down to. – What? – Third is horrible. – Yeah, the third is horrible. I like these two. – Mm. Huh? – Okay. Whoa, that was not easy. – This is not easy, I’m- – I just said that it’s not easy and he’s agreeing with me. – Three. – Do we agree on our choice? – [Stevie] Two, one… – Flam! – Yep. That one. – We agree! – [Stevie] Guys, you get to mosh with Alternative Moochelle, both of you! Go! Do it! – Go now? (moshing music rings) (feet moshing chaotically) – Ouch! (Stevie chuckling) God, that’s just as horrible an experience as I remember it in college. – I didn’t do it in college. That’s the first time I’ve ever moshed. – Okay- – My feet got stepped on four times! – Did I do good? – [Stevie] So yeah, you did. You did great. So you, you both chose the same one. What do you think that is? – Oat? – [Stevie] You are correct. That is oat milk. – Yeah, yeah. – It was the thickness of the oat gives it a fighting chance. – And I would’ve said, and I think you would’ve agreed if you don’t do milk, oat would be your preference. – But you didn’t say. So I can’t agree. – Right, but, this one’s awful. – So the first one you said was awful, is rice milk. – Yeah. – Bad, bad. – The second is almond milk. – Not bad. Whoa, not bad. – The third is- – But not great. – Hemp milk. – Hemp? – Hemp milk is not, you know, you don’t need that in your coffee. – And then- – And look, it’s coagulating – [Stevie] The last one is the soy milk. – Soy milk wasn’t bad. It actually got down to,- – I still, must be a soy boy. – The oat and the soy for me, it wasn’t a clear winter. I just kind of chose this one. But don’t put hemp in your coffee. (cheerful music) – Quick reminder. The Mythical Kitchen has dropped a brand new episode of their new series, “Last meals” where Josh invites people to ponder life, death and existential crises as he serves, ’em their final feast. They had 24kGoldn on there. So go tune in and let ’em know what guests you wanna see on there next talking about their last meal. I love that show, not just because I was on it. You were on it- – And you will be on it, right. But then you have to die afterwards. – Oh, seems scary. – Okay, a few years ago we taste tested chocolate chip cookies dunked in nut milks. And I, you know what? I’m glad I’m reminded of this stuff because I had no idea that my my favorite was Macadamia nut milk, followed by pea milk- – What was mine? – You liked cashew. – Oh really? – Now the only nut milk on the table right now is almond. So this is a basically a clean slate for us. – This is not the most unbreakable cookies. They’re definitely in need of dunking, which is a good test. – This looks like milk. I mean, it’s a right color. – [Link] That’s not a bad cookie. The milk or whatever that is, doesn’t get in the way of it. I’m gonna, dunk the other end- – That’s not bad? – in the same one. – Yeah. This milk is the same color as your shirt. It almost looks- – Yeah, I’ve a question. – like chocolate milk. What the heck- – I’m not coming in today unless you can get milk the same color as my tan shirt. – This has to be the wild card. What the heck is? – I’m a very demanding person. – Such a dark alternative milk. – Oh… – Ooh. Ooh! (crew laughing) – Tastes like fish. – Ew! – It does taste like fish. – It tastes like fish oil. What is that? – It’s probably hemp. – No, they’ve already done… They don’t give us the same wild card. – No, maybe it’s just straight marijuana. – It smells like algae. It’s like algae milk. – Yeah. That’s that’s real bad. It might be algae milk. – Dolphin milk. (crew titters) – Yeah. – Dolphins got teats. – [Link] Yeah, man. – [Rhett] Whale milk? – This one’s yellow. I don’t love the color of it. I don’t know if it’s coming through to your screen but- – That’s pretty tasty . – For me… – Hmm. I like that one. – Yeah. You like it? The milk it, yeah, it’s good because it doesn’t taste like fish. – [Rhett] After that fish milk. – Yeah, because the cookies are so good. – This one’s super thin. – I’m just asking milk to not get in the way, but I’m asking for it to soak up into it and soften it a little bit. – I don’t like the consistency of this but the taste is great. – There’s not really a taste. – Is that just the cookie I’m tasting and enjoying? – Yeah. You’re just enjoying the cookie. – [Rhett] Now, that’s the one out here is a little tan as well. – Yeah. We got that tan milk happening. – It’s not brown though. – Laying out in the sun. I would say, I’d call it khaki. – It’s khaki. And you know what? This milk sticks to the cookie in a nice way. Looks like it’s been dipped. – Got a nice little coating. – Kind of hard to tell, isn’t it? – Not a lot of flavor, but again, as long as you don’t mess up the cookie… – Process of elimination: this one’s definitively awful. – Good gracious, it is. – This one’s like water. – So for me… – Yeah. – We’re in one. See, ’cause if I go, I’m looking at the the clingability of one. – Listen, this looks like regular milk. And then if I look at the clingability of three is better, but five seems to have the most clingability. – Just two guys, mm. Dipping their cookies in the milk. – I just dropped a piece of cookie and it went into my shoe. – I actually think it went into my sock. I’m gonna be walking around with a cookie sock. – Well, there’s a lot of clingability in five. Is that what you’re saying? – Yeah, man. All right. We gotta make a decision, Rhett. The train’s leaving the station. – Here we go. – Right, I got an answer. – [Stevie] Three, two, one. – Whoa! It was close for me. – It came down to three and five for me. But I went with five because of the clingability. – [Stevie] Okay, well it looks like we have two soy boys because number five is soy milk. – Oh. – You be soy boy now. – The milk Link chose is oat milk! So that’s pretty consistent. – Yeah, I mean, oat and soy- – are rising to the top. – Are rising to the top. (Rhet and Link emoting) – Can we get Moochelle to come out and mosh with us? – Leave now! – Unison! (crew laughing) (Moochelle glides) – [Stevie] So the milk that tasted like fish, I guess. – Yeah. What is that? – Is chia seed milk. – Oh! I don’t know why it would taste like like- – I love chia pudding. – Omega Three, Stevie! – Oh, Omega! – Is Omega three oils you get from fish oil, but you also get it from chia. And so it’s that really oily, nasty fish oil taste that is just bad. – [Stevie] And then the first one that you guys didn’t mind again was almond milk- – Almond milk- – [Stevie] and then the one you thought was too thin is rice milk. – Yeah the rice milk- – We know rice milk is a loser, but almond milk. Imma go ahead and say, “I think you’re a loser too now.” – Oh yeah, you haven’t won anything. (cheerful music) – All right, now we got pancakes in front of us. They’ve each been made with a milk alternative. Let’s not use syrup- – Or utensils. – Or utensils, yeah, and just have the unadulterated pancake. I don’t know why I was biting it so slowly. – Hey, you never know what’s in a pancake. – Boy that’s a bland cake. – But I’m thinking about like the consistency. – Hm mm. The flopability. – I got nothing to compare it to at this juncture. – I mean it- – Oh wow. This is, I don’t know, this feels different to me. – This one’s a little fluffier. – I would say, more- – Same fluffability. Fluffability to me, less, less cakeiness. – It doesn’t taste as good. – But it doesn’t taste as good. – No, it doesn’t. – The flavor has been influenced by… – I didn’t think I was gonna be able to tell but it definitely doesn’t taste… – This is the first one that looks just like a normal pancake to me. Not as much flopability. – I think that might just be it’s a little more cooked, ’cause there’s a little bit of variability in the nature of the cooking, but that my friend, is the porousness that I’m looking for. – [Link] It tastes good. – And I’m really tasting the pancake. – Hm mm. – Wow. Now you… did you? – Go right ahead. – [Rhett] This one’s just weird looking, you know what I’m saying? – Oh, it’s real thick, Daddy. – It’s tasty though. – No, not to me. – Well it’s tasty, but the consistency’s not quite there. – It’s got a stronger flavor. I’m a little confused between- – I do not like it. As well. – No, this is hard. – Oh no, this is floppy. – No, see, it’s just all about which one you get. – [Link] You got the top one. – Get the bottom one, you can get some floppiness. Yeah. Okay. – You really gotta try hard, – Uh oh,- – Very bland. just as bland as number one. – I disagree. (Link smacking lips) I disagree. – Wasn’t number two. – I think that takes pretty good. Okay. I’m ready to vote. – I’m just going on flavor here. – [Link] Hmm. – This is a little bit of a curve ball for me. – Three- – You don’t know- what any of ’em are. – Two. – One. – I’m saying this isn’t the consistency is not quite what I expect, but I like the flavor the most. – I like this flavor. – Okay, so… – Very subtle. – surprising to me about Link’s choice because that’s actually rice milk. – Yeah! – Really? – Yeah. And then Rhett chose the soy milk. – Yeah. I’m a soy boy. – So that makes sense. – I think I just like pancake mix unadulterated. So basically I’m used to just having pancakes made with water. – Yeah. – Which you can do. – The other ones are oat, almond and then our wild card is macadamia. So the one that interesting tasting… – It was interesting. – Yeah, it was… – It brings more flavor but not the flavor- – Not that I love. – that I’m looking for. – Wow. So, well you became a rice man? You really, we had a soy- – I’m not claiming it though. – We had a soy boy thing going and you completely screwed up. – I’m not claiming it. The thing about soy is that I’ve never given it a thought. – It’s the original alternative milk. – And I think that we’ve written it off for that reason. – Oh, clearly they’ve advanced past soy milk. There’s also like this estrogen thing going on. If you drink way too much soy then there’s estrogen level issues. – I think that there’s, they’re doing studies on that. I don’t know if there’s definitive information about that yet. – No, there’s not. But I think we were oat and soy boys pretty much across the board. Except for when you do pancakes, you like rice. (Rhett scoffs) Hey, we learned something today. – No, I’m not gonna take that. I’m not a rice pancake man. – Thanks for subscribing and clicking that soy. – You know, time it is? – Hi, I’m Liz and I’m Joachem and we’re doing a chocolate milk taste test. And it’s time spin The Wheel of Mythicality. – Well, looks tastier than what we just did. We could do that now, but we’re not.. That’s right, Click the top link to find out which milk actually makes the best milk mustache,- – Ha ha! – In Good Mythical More. – And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality’s gonna land. – What’s the craziest thing on your bucket list that you wanna do before you die? – I wanna shoot a music video in outer space. – That’s rad dude. – Yeah.