What’s the ranchiest snack of the ranch snacks? – Let’s talk about that. (gentle upbeat music) Good Mythical Morning! – Do you know why ranch dressing is called ranch? – Because cowboy mayonnaise sounds gross? – (laughs) Well, it does sound gross, but it was actually invented by a plumber in Alaska in 1949. – You don’t say. – Not a cowboy, but when he moved to California and bought Hidden Valley Ranch, yes, it was an actual ranch and started serving up his cowboy mayonnaise, people loved it. – Well, apparently so much so that now ranch flavoring shows up on all kinds of stuff that ain’t salads, but has the experience gone too far out to pasture? It’s time for Super Snack Flavor Match Ranch Edition. (upbeat music) – We’re gonna taste and rank ranch flavored snacks on a scale of one to 10, based solely on how close they taste to actual ranch dressing. Not how much we like them, but how close they are to ranch dressing. And then we add up our scores. The snack with the highest overalls score will be declared the truest ranch flavored snack and henceforth be known as- – [Both] Ranch Brian. – I don’t know why we have two of these. – Well, it might get messy. I don’t know. – Is that in case one of them gets destroyed because of chaos? – It’s called redundancy. You know that. You’re an engineer. – Are you betting on chaos, Mikayla? You want some chaos today? – [Mikayla] Always. – All right. We’ll see what we can do. Before we taste these snacks, we, of course, have to establish our control group of actual ranch dressing. Bring in that to prove that that’s actually ranch. – It is. It’s Hidden Valley. – [Link] From the actual Hidden Valley. – This is stuff. – The gold standard of ranch. – This is stuff. I meant to say this is the stuff, but it is stuff, technically. – Cheers. – Oh, you just- – No, just a little sippy sip. – Just so I don’t get it all over my mustache . – Tangy. – I’ll lick it off a carrot. – Creamy, thick. – It’s good. They keep this stuff hidden for a reason. – I love it. A little bit peppery. All right. Let’s put it on some snacks. – Let’s try. (words whooshing) (upbeat music) Okay, so we don’t know exactly what cool ranch is, but we feel cool when we’re eating cool ranch Doritos. – This is an iconic ranch flavored snack, the Doritos. Arguably, the most iconic ranch snack. You can see the green and red splotches. – Evoking a green and red bell pepper, maybe. – [Link] A flavoring. – They’re tasty. I love them, man. They got that tang. – Yeah, it does have the tang, but- – [Rhett] But is it really ranchy? – Does it have much else? Interestingly enough, they were introduced in 1986, but then in 1995, they changed the name to cooler ranch. It was like a recipe change, but also kind of a marketing change. They were trying to reduce the garlic to reduce the Dorito breath. I don’t think they actually, I don’t know if they actually said that, but that’s what was going on behind the scenes. – I actually think it is not that far off- – Adding more the onion and sour cream base. – Taste the ranch. The spice. Now, you don’t get any of the creaminess because it’s a chip. But I think this spice flavor is not that far off. – Yeah. And in 2005, they changed it back to cool ranch, but they didn’t change the recipe back. So pre-95, you got that more garlicky. – These are actually closer than I was expecting because I never really thought about the fact that they taste like ranch. I’d like the chips more than the ranch, which means that they don’t taste exactly like them. – I don’t think it’s that bad. – Well, bad or how close? – I don’t think it’s that far off is what I’m saying. – I’m going on- – Seven. – Yeah, seven. I’m going all the way to a seven. – Yeah. – I taste the ranch. Saddle up! – For a total of 14. (words whooshing) (upbeat music) Fish is one of the most overwhelming flavors and smells. – Yeah. – So can the flavor of ranch come through in this StarKist Tuna Creations? – [Rhett] I have this at my home. – I like the name Tuna Creations. Do you create things with the tuna? – No. I have every flavor of Tuna Creation, which you can see. Well, there’s more than 20 varieties. I don’t have every flavor, but I have these just kind of in a little drawer, just for a little protein punch. – You got a Tuna Creation drawer? – And I just go straight into them with a fork. It’s on a Saturday. – So do you prefer tuna? I mean ranch over other flavors? – [Rhett] My favorite’s the buffalo. – I’m having a hard time. Without comparing it to ranchless tuna, it just tastes like tuna. – It’s a little bit of a when you make a tuna fish salad and put it on a sandwich and they add the mayonnaise. It’s beginning to get to that- – I mean, the ingredients- – But I wouldn’t think it was ranch. – Have buttermilk solids, vinegar, onion powder, garlic powder, spices. They are trying. – They’re not of getting there, though. – No. I’m gonna give them with the benefit of doubt and say one. – That was the benefit of the doubt? – Yeah because I was thinking zero. – There’s a little bit there. Now that I go back to taste this, I’m gonna give them a two. – [Link] That’s a total of three. – [Rhett] Yeah. – [Link] Ouch. – Two plus one, two. Three. (laughs) (upbeat music) All right. We gotta get something outta the way. Corn nuts are not nuts. Okay? (Link laughs) Sorry to burst your nut bubble, but they’re corn kernels that have been roasted or deep fried and seasoned. In this case, they’ve been seasoned with ranch. – I got news for you, my friend. – Yeah? – Every ear of corn has two corn nuts. They’re kind of towards the bottom. They’re grouped together. – [Rhett] This is a lot of corn. – [Link] Corn nuts- – [Rhett] Are good. – They are so good. They have this unmatched crunch in the snack kingdom that you gotta give them props, man. – Like it feels like it could hurt you. – [Stevie] This is my road trip snack of choice. – Oh, they’re so good for a road trip. – [Link] They are so good. – And if you drop them between the seats, you’re kinda like, it’s a corn nut, you know? – It’ll never stink. – Right. – And if you look closely at it, you can see that there’s some powdery green and white stuff. All that. – Once you start chewing it, the corn is overwhelming. This might be a lick daddy situation. – Yeah. Going lick daddy. – Just put a bunch in and lick them. – You look like sucking daddy. Are you licking or are you sucking? – I guess both. (crew laughing) – I don’t think it constitutes a lick if it’s fully in your mouth. – And then I’m eating them. I’m licking. Why you gotta spit them out? – A lick is something you do outside of your mouth. – Okay. Lick the roof of your mouth. (Rhett laughing) – He got me! – Boy, you got right. You walked right into that one. My lick trap. (crew laughing) – These are pretty good. – I think the corn is sending it in such a corn direction. – Yeah because you don’t wanna sit there and just lick corn nuts. You wanna chomp down on them. – The initial lick, it’s pretty ranchy. I’m gonna give it a six. – Really impressive. – It really is very ranchy. The corn begins to take over. – Yeah. I agree. I’m gonna give it a six, as well. – Okay. – [Link] For a total of 12. – [Rhett] Yeah. (words whooshing) (upbeat music) – Quick reminder, we just announced that Mythical has a brand website that’s live right now called sporked.com. We really want you to check it out. It’s a new website that’s all about finding the best packaged foods on the shelves. – Right because we realize that we have tasted and ranked so many different foods on this show and what we’ve started finding over the years is people would be in the grocery store and they’d be like, I had bring up the GMM episode where you guys ranked ice creams to figure out which ice cream to buy. We were like, well, you shouldn’t be having to do that. Let’s create a tool, a website, where you can just go to that place and see the rankings that we’ve made and go way beyond all the stuff that we’ve just ranked. That’s sporked.com. – Yeah. It’s all in one place. It’s easy to use. Pull it up on your phone, pull it up on your computer. – Take your computer to the store. – In addition to our opinions, we have assembled a team, a Sporked team, kinda like the Avengers and their taste testing all types of stuff and familiar crew members are gonna be coming through, as well. So stuff like frozen ketchup, which features Mythical chef Josh, all the way to oat milk, everything in between, and they’re sharing their expert top picks with you. So check it out, go to sporked.com. We’re very excited about this. We’ve been dreaming it up and working it up and assembling that team and now it’s out there for you to make use of it to enrich your lives and your stomachs. – Yes. – I’m getting a little bit choked up. You also get to get to know the team and hear their weirder ideas, like Jordan’s argument for eating sauce-like soup. You actually get to meet Jordan in Good Mythical More today, but go to sporked.com. Check it out and get it behind the scenes look at the team tasting foods on the Sporked TikTok and Instagram. – Sporked.com. – Sporked. – Okay, now we’re moving on to Kernel Season’s ranch popcorn seasoning, made with natural buttermilk flavor. – Now, there’s some on here, but let’s give it- – [Rhett] Go hard? – Go hard. Go hard or go home. – Oh, man. – They’re scared. They don’t want us to even do it. Is there enough on here, Trevor? – [Rhett] There is. – [Link] Oh, gosh. (crew laughing) – [Trevor] Now there is. – Well, you said go hard. – Go hard and go home. That’s my motto. – Oh, that’s tasty. – It is good. There’s nothing like eating popcorn and it’s like not having enough flavor. – Oh, that is so good. – This has a lot of flavor, y’all. Very salty. – [Rhett] Does it taste like Ranch, though? – [Link] It does have that tang. Good gracious, son. – Oh, do that. Oh. (crew laughing) – Okay. – It’s good, isn’t it? – Yeah and good for you. – Man, I could get addicted to that. Just sitting in my recliner watching MASH. (crew laughing) – That’s why a recliner has that thing. You know, you pull back the- – Don’t talk to Daddy. He’s watching MASH and eating his ranch seasoning. – Pull the lever. Good God. You gonna be all right later? – I hope. – I think you’re gonna be- – I need to drink something. I’m gonna be thirsty. – You gonna be farting powder. (Rhett laughing) This is good stuff. – [Rhett] It’s good, man. – [Link] I’m pretty impressed. – I can’t tell how close it is. It definitely has a, it turns into. It gets to the creamy factor. You know? – The popcorn doesn’t compete- – Like the corn nuts do. – With the flavoring. So I’m gonna give this a nice eight. – I’m gonna give it a. I don’t know, man. There’s something about. It doesn’t have the di taste or whatever that is that makes ranch ranchy. – Okay. Okay. – I’m gonna give it a six. It’s very good. But I’m not getting all the way there. – [Link] That’s a total of 14. (words whooshing) (upbeat music) – All right, now we’ve got Snyder’s of Hanover ranch flavored pretzel pieces. We tried Snyder’s pretzel pieces with jalapeno flavor. They did not take home the gold, but maybe the ranch will do a little bit better of a job. – Big old sourdough hard pretzels. One review said, “Did not like. I didn’t like the flavor and it was hard to chew.” Oh, that’s no way to live your life. – It’s a pretzel. – It’s crunchy, but that’s like part of the thrill of it. Very dilly. – Man, these are so addictive. – It’s interesting. You were correct in saying that there wasn’t a lot of dill on the popcorn. – But they really dilled it up here. – To a strange degree. – If you’re gonna do the dill this hard… – [Link] You gotta call it something else. – Yeah. How much dill can a dill do? – [Link] Not anymore. – If the dill do must dill do. – Not anymore than the dill done here because this is not ranch, my friend. I like it, but I’m gonna give it a two. – I respect the dill. Four. – That’s a total of six. (words whooshing) (upbeat music) Ranch dressing soda. We tried this five years ago in a weird soda taste test and I’m told that my exact words were, “If it’s supposed to be ranch, they fail.” – Okay, well let’s see if your taste buds have stayed exactly the same. – Dink it, drink it. – God, it’s still awful. – I mean, I don’t know how five years later, Lester’s Fixins is still in business because it’s like… (crew laughing) It’s all fun until you taste it. You know? – Well, I think there’s enough people who haven’t tasted it. There’s very few of these flavors that somebody- – There’s no repeat customers. – Nobody’s watching MAS*H and just putting these back. You know what I’m saying? – No. Not happening. – Yeah, right. It’s just not a repeat thing. – A business with no repeat customers is not a good business model and I’m no Shark Tanker. This is horrible. I’m not even gonna give it a repeat sip. – It does have a ranch flavor, though. – Well, then I gotta give it another sip. – The very initial taste is ranchy. – It smells like… – But there’s way more bad than whatever else it is that makes it ranch flavor. – It smells like something your grandma would shave off her foot into a- (crew laughing) – Yeah. – It’s like, what’s this white powder. Oh, this is grandma’s foot shave. – Grandma’s shavings. Yeah. That could be a good business, you know? – Drinking this is like sucking a grandma toe. I mean, it’s logic. It just follows. – [Stevie] Maybe there’s a deeper meaning to Lester’s Fixins. (Rhett laughs) – I’m gonna give it- – Lester’s fixing to suck Grandma’s toes. (laughs) – I’m gonna give it a one. – I’m gonna give it a three because before you get the grandma shavings, there is a little bit of a ranch that happens. – I’m gonna total that as a four. (words whooshing) (upbeat music) We tasted these ranch Pringles in a gut check where we tasted every single Pringle. We scored it 163 points outta 200. That didn’t in the top four. Now, we’re judging something totally different, remember? – How much does it taste like ranch. – Like ranch. Yeah. I have a love-hate relationship with Pringles. – You can’t really think about what they are. I don’t wanna love them. I want to hate them, but you just can’t. – [Rhett] They really have a nice mouth feel. – [Link] They’re really generous- – [Rhett] They’re tasty. – With the flavor powder. I’m gonna go lick daddy. It doesn’t have that punch. It doesn’t have like, a true tang. You know? You want it to your mouth and go- – [Rhett] You can’t see anything in it. Like, there’s no- – Tang! – Speckled-ness. – Yeah. I think the flavor’s pretty good, though. – You could tell that it’s approaching ranch, but it’s not quite like crossing over the cow fence. – Yeah. – Five. I want more, though. – It’s trying hard. It’s a noble effort. I’ll give it six. (upbeat music) That is a total of 11. – So that means that we actually have a tie, both receiving 14 points. Cool ranch Doritos and then the Kernel Season’s. – Kernel Season’s seasoning. And you know what? Hey, it wasn’t for redundancy. Did you know this was gonna happen? We’ve got a dual ranch Brian. Here’s one. We’ve never had a double Brian. It’s like twins. – Double Brian? This is first double Brian? – I think it’s the first double Brian. Congratulations. – Well, first time for everything. – Doritos and I keep forgetting your name and now it’s covered up with that. – The seasoning. – Yeah. – It’s really good. Thanks for describing and clicking that bell. – You know what time it is. – My name is Finley Silvera. I am currently three or four days postop top surgery and it’s time to spend the wheel of Mythicality. – Congratulations, family. Thanks for being your Mythical best. Click the top link to watch the Sporked team join us to determine the best temperature for condiments in Good Mythical More. – And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality is gonna land. Looking for the best oat milk? Well, how about the best dill pickle and all stuff in between? Well, check out sporked.com, Mythical’s new website where tastes are tested.