Welcome to “Good Mythical MORE.” We’ve got a fun question for you. What is the best temperature for condiments? Well, and we’ll say specifically with the French fries French fries. Room temperature, fridge cold, or piping hot? Maybe we’ll discover something. But we landed on Gifticality, which means that we’re going to donate $1,000 to the National Center for Transgender Equality to aid in their mission to change policies in society to increase understanding and acceptance of transgender people. Please join us in giving at transequality.org. All right. You know what? We got a special treat today. We’ve got some members of the Sporked team coming in and Josh and Nicole. And Josh and Nicole. Come on in, guys. And Josh and Nicole. Pull in your chairs. ‘Cause I mean, why we gotta be tasting everything when we’ve got expert tasters on the payroll, y’all? Welcome Jordan and Danny and Josh and Nicole. Old news. You know what? Scrunch up a little bit more. We got a table here. We’ve got fries here. We’ve got five different condiments and at three different temperatures. So we gotta get through 15 things. What we’ll do is we’ll pull them down, but welcome to the team, guys. Thank you for having us. The latest addition to the ever-expanding Mythical crew. Have you got tired of tasting stuff yet? No. A little bit. Only at the end of the day, though. And then I’m like, “What do I do now? I feel hungry, but I’m not.” He put his two weeks in three days ago, so. Your taster resets every night? Kind of. Yeah. Yeah. Well, so does mine. So does mine. Do you have a palate cleanser of choice? Yes. One of the free Dr. Peppers from the office fridge. Emphasis on free. It’s free, yeah. That’s the most important thing, that it is free and I have multiple throughout the day in between each taste test and it rejuvenates me. I just threw one away. You a Dr. Pepper girl, huh? I am. Yes. All right. So let’s start with some ketchup. I’ll put these down here. Oh, this is hot. Is that the hot one? I feel like you should start with room temp before we go. I’m putting them all down. Room temp, hot, and cold. Any predictions about this? I don’t know that I’ve ever had really hot ketchup. Room temp. I say room temp, also. Ice cold. Ice cold! Ice cold, baby. Ketchup goes in the fridge. Ice cold. Absolutely. Really? Especially with a hot fry, a piping hot fry with ice cold ketchup is spectacular. But fries get warm, I mean, they get cold so quickly. Not if you’re eating them fast enough. Cold, room temperature, hot. Fries get eaten first before the burger. Absolutely. Okay. Really? Did we just become best friends? Yeah, I love that! Eat the burger first. Unh-unh. Okay, I’m already dropping fries. Okay, hold on. Link got them mixed up. Put the hot on this side. This is hot. I’m curious about- The one that’s hot is the hot one. So they go cold, room temperature. Right. Oh, that’s ketchup that’s been in the car for too long. I love the mystery that we’re experiencing as the audience. We can’t see your dipping. You’re dipping under the desk. It looks so exciting what I’m imagining the dipping looks like. This ketchup was steamed in the trunk of a Nissan Altima for six hours. It’s like a sous vide bath. Well, it changes the flavor of the ketchup is the real problem, but it preserves the heat of the fry. It brings it out. I think it’s got a nice sort of acidity to it. I think I might be into hot ketchup now. I am into hot ketchup. That is my preference. Yeah. I don’t hate it. I thought I wouldn’t like it, but I’m still ice cold. Ice cold is the best. The hot ketchup is nostalgic for me ’cause it reminds me of letting In-N-Out sit in your car, you know? It brings me back to a specific moment in time. All right. Should we go to Holland? Wait, wait. What’s the dedu- I need more definitive… So we got two hots. We got two hots. Me and Danny are hot. And we got some hots but- No, I’m actually not hot. I’m room temperature. I’m room temp. Wait, but does this change your life? Like, you’re gonna start microwaving your ketchup? No, no. No! That’s the whole point of this. I don’t have time for that. Sometimes you just say things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you’re still, Jordan- I’m still ice cold. Ice cold, ice cold. I’m saying hot. I prefer hot, but I’m going to do room temperature. Well, then room temperature wins. Nice. You’re with us. Okay. Sure. Welcome. I hate that. Welcome. We’re going to the mayonnaise, which is the french fry dip of choice. Hot, man. Oh- Wow, the color difference is jarring. Okay, but the hot mayonnaise kind of looks a little aioli-esque. Better? Yeah, yeah. It looks better. It looks better. The hotter it is the yellower it gets? Yeah. I mean you’re literally cooking the eggs. Yeah. The eggs are turning into cooked. The hot eggs. Oh! Oh, no! You know what? Sure, you can have it. Okay, thank you so much. I fought you for it. Okay. Let’s start with the hot. Let’s do it. Danny’s making me dip his fries. That’s a power move. I love the hot. Oh my God. I love the hot, too. It’s like Hollandaise sauce. It’s so good. Wow. Wow, I do like the hot. But you can scramble the mayo if you cook it too long. Yeah., yeah. That’s tough. You gotta be smart with it. Jordan, I love the fact that you’ve demonstrated your open-mindedness because you said, “I’m a cold girl.” Maybe that was just for ketchup? I think we’re learning that. But now you’re immediately on board for going to the opposite extreme. So much flavor. Yeah, I’m wrong all the time, and I’m happy to admit that. That’s a good way to be. I’m wrong but I don’t change my beliefs. That’s my thing. I understand that I’m wrong, but people don’t change at all, and I’m one of them. And I’m one of those people. I did not like the hot mayonnaise. Really? You still like cold? That’s a hot mess. I’m lowkey into it. I think it’s the lemon juice ’cause that’s the predominant flavor of mayonnaise, right? You got vinegar, eggs, lemon, salt, that’s kind of it. The lemon juice to me, it’s refreshing on the palate when it’s cold. An ice cold, savory lemon custard, that’s what this is. It’s a delight. All right, we ready to vote? Mm-hmm. Who’s going hot? What? You people are insane! This is madness! I like the cold, though. I like the cold, though. When I went back to the cold, I was like, the cold is also really good, but the hot is new. It’s like sticking something into a casserole. I love it. Yeah, yeah. It’s good. Well, I guess, what were you gonna vote? Cold. I think cold. Cold. Cold. So it ties. I love the Hollandaise comparison because it basically is. It basically is. And I could drink Hollandaise sauce, so. Well, and you guys are saying that room temp Mayo is officially out now. No one can do it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You can have another. Are you gonna go barbecue sauce? Yeah, let’s bring it down. Josh and Nicole, there was a time when you were new to the Mythical crew. Do you have any advice for Danny and Jordan as they’re just getting started here? They’re doing a lot of tasting. They’re finding themselves on camera. Follow the Sporked TikTok. Yeah. If Rhett goes into the bathroom, give it about 10 to 15. Even if it’s just number one, it’s really weird. Maybe 20. It reeks of asparagus and black coffee. Don’t tell anybody that that’s not Link’s natural hair color. He dyes it salt and pepper. Wow, secrets. Okay. Wow. Lot of secrets. We’re dishing. Mine’s gonna be a little bit more positive. You know, just always be friendly. Make friends. Know that we’re all here to support you and make you be your Mythical best. Wow, that was so sweet. I love that! Thank you. Thank you, Nicole. But it’s honestly earnest, too. Make alliances early. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s what I mean. Like make friends. Make friends. Make alliances. Various cliques and subcommittees around here. How Sporked. No, what’s the actual advice? Let’s be earnest about this. I was! I was hella earnest. Way to go, Nicole. Establish a weightlifting routine. No cardio. No cardio. ‘Cause you’re gonna consume so many calories in this building, as we dip fries in sugar sauce and mayonnaise. But you’re gonna wanna convert that all to mass. If you do cardio, it’s just gonna cancel it out. So, I should get super jacked. Correctamundo. Get super jacked. I’ll do it. I’ll do it for the job. I’ve been trying to put a squat rack in the parking lot for a long time and no one’s on board. I’m trying to lead a Zumba class. Kind of tough to get ev- Emily’s down for a Zumba class. Great. Thank you. I don’t think we can give up a parking space for a squat rack. I’ll give up my parking space for a squat rack. Will you really? So where you gonna park? I don’t like walking, though. Cardio That’s cardio, yeah. There’s a clear winner here for me, and again, it is the hot. Me too. Dude, same here. It’s the ice cold for me. Oh, I hated the ice cold. I loved the ice cold. It’s so sludgy. The hot is, like, it’s just bringing so much flavor. What are we even on right now? It feels more savory. Barbecue sauce? Yes, we’re on barbecue sauce. What are you on right now? What are we on right now, guys? I missed it. All right, barbecue sauce. Who’s voting for hot? I’m a hot barbecue guy. All right. So that’s the clear winner. What are you voting for? Cold. Cold! I thought cold was good. Thank you. Did we just become best friends? Yes, absolutely. Thank you. Making alliances. Nice. I didn’t realize hot was gonna be an option and now I’m in love with it. I thought it gonna be room temp and cold. I’m a hot boy. Yeah, it’s like taking some ribs on your plate and then just taking your fries and just, you know- That’s the best bite. That’s right, Danny. You are a hot boy. Thank you. When I met you, I think you must have had on long sleeves because tell me about your tattoo. Oh, yeah. These are grape leaves. And can you see? Yeah. Grape leaves, tomatoes, and a lemon. Growing up in my hometown, we would pick grape leaves as kids. And so I was like, “Oh, it’s like a family thing.” Is that nice? Yes, I love it! So sweet. Do you hate it? I absolutely hate it. Can I see your tomato? Especially the tomato part. Great tomato. Yeah, yeah. She did a really good job. Her name’s Emily Effler. She’s an incredible tattoo artist. She does great tomatoes. I don’t care. It’s horrible. Oh, thank you. I hate tomatoes. Do you hate tomato tattoos? Raw tomatoes. I’m kind of with you there. I mean, tomatoes have to be really good. They have to be in season. Yeah, we talk about this a lot. Yeah, I can’t eat a tomato skin. A bad tomato is real bad. I think he’s had a lot of bad tomatoes. Okay. A bad tomato is really bad. We can agree on that. Alliance. It’s great workmanship. Thank you. It’s beautiful. I appreciate that. But it makes me wanna retch. Yeah. Welcome to the team. That means it’s realistic. It’s very realistic. Thank you. Okay. Moving on to, you wanna go mustard? Mustard. Hot mustard. Hot mustard. Hot mustard is scary. I love mustard. You love mustard? I do. I love mustard. I put so much mustard on sandwiches that sub shop employees have been uncomfortable with how much mustard I’ve asked them to put on a sandwich. They start charging extra for it? Yeah, yeah. They’re like, “This is disgusting.” And this cost nothing. What do you say? You’re like, “Extra mustard.” I say, “Extra mustard,” and they say, “Okay.” And then I make direct eye contact with them and I say, “Extra mustard.” Yeah. More than you think. More than you realize. Yeah, I’m not joking. Wait, so do you think it’s the amount of mustard or the fact that you’re making that eye contact with such demands? I think both, probably. Both things can be true. So you like a good pungent flavor? I do. And I’m a sauce fiend. I love sauce. And I like a lot of sauce. I don’t believe in subtlety. I fully believe I’m a maximalist. I like excess. You believe in eating sauce as a soup, which you wrote about on sporked.com. I do. Yeah. I think we should be able to eat any type of sauce like soup, because they’re the exact same thing. I have a lot of hot takes about that. Interesting. You wanna come on a podcast? Yeah! You ever heard of a podcast? I have. I’ve never listened to one, but I’ve heard of one. We got one. You shouldn’t listen to it, but you should come on it. That’s so weird that you’re talking about a podcast right now. Oh, yeah. You know, Stevie’s got a podcast, too. Okay! Yep. Yeah. Spreading the love all around the Mythical crew. It’s called Best Friends Back, Alright! It’s out today. She’s reconnecting with her high school best friend, Neagheen. It’s gonna be awesome. I mean, a new episode’s out today, yeah. It is out today! Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s how you should say it every time. Well, what I’m trying to do, Stevie, is I’m trying to, like, every time an episode of your podcast comes out, to me it’s like the whole thing is just starting again, you know? Yeah. Boy, don’t I know it. My level of enthusiasm goes right back to the first episode. So that’s why I phrased it in that way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you. Get it wherever you get your podcasts. A little bit of both. As long as you get it. Okay, guys. For mustard. What are you doing, dude? I like the potency of mustard, but it’s too much. It’s too peakin’, and I’m just trying- My mom used to put that on broccoli. Mayonnaise and mustard mixed together was her broccoli sauce. That sounds good. Shall we try it? Okay. Let’s do it. This isn’t my best work. It’s not my best recipe. You know? It’s just kinda something I whipped up. Also, you know, every friend group has the weird friend? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mine’s called Chad, and he dips his fries in mustard. Oh, wow. You have a weird friend? You’re not just always the weird friend? Yeah. We kind of have gradients of weird. So in my group, I’m not the weird one, which is a shocker. Congrats, man. We love Chad. He’s very normal. He just doesn’t wear shoes and he likes French fries and mustard and eats frozen mashed potatoes. I don’t know. But anyways- Has he ever worn those toe shoes? No. Those are cool. Cool? I have. Yeah, they’re cool. Nicole’s also the weird friend, if you can’t tell. True. How do you eat frozen mashed potatoes? Any way he can. Just like a cake, or? No, he still uses a knife. What? Oh my God. Chad! Hey, Chad. What’s up, man? I like cold mustard. Anybody? Cold mustard? I think all three temperatures of the mustard are perfect. They’re all good? She’s a mustard fiend, bro. Surprisingly, cold. I am also withstanding on the grounds that they’re all awful. Something about the cold brought more flavor out. I don’t know what it was. Yeah, it melts almost. And the tongue gets the flavor, yeah. So two cold votes. I’m abstaining, you’re abstaining- And I’m abstaining. You’re abstaining. Why are you abstaining? I think they’re all perfect. She’s abstaining ’cause she loves mustard and I am because I- True love waits. Yeah. True love waits. I think room temp. I keep my mustard room temp. I like sitting down in a diner and seeing the ketchup and the mustard bottle there. It’s what’s familiar to me. I’m gonna go room temp. It’s what’s familiar. There’s a Paris Climate Accord analogy here, but I don’t have enough time. There’s a lot. Oh, there’s a lot. So the cold takes it. Seems like it. Yeah. Cold mustard and finally ranch. Yes. Well, we all know hot’s gonna win. I’m open to it, though. Hot mayo was good. Yeah. But look at this ranch right now. There’s a film on it. The ranch got a little dark. It got some skin. Ooh! And it has a thick film on top. Looks like Caesar salad dressing. It’s probably gonna taste good. And it’s delicious. Y’all ever have a crappy vegetable plate from Smart and Final, we love Smart and Final, though, that’s just been left out in the sun for a couple hours? This is the ranch. We got it right from that. At the crafty table? This is definitely a crafty- Ohh. I don’t wanna… Me and Danny are at each other’s throats down here trying to dip on each other. The hot ranch is so upsetting. Was it upsetting? I’m gonna try it. I like it. Am I okay? I like the hot ranch. Am I okay? You’re not okay. There’s an after taste there that’s really bad. Well, you’re the one who said that you could eat sauce like soup and you’re liking the sauces that are hot. So I feel like it’s consistent. I’m going home, I’m putting a bunch of ranch in a Crockpot. I’m eating this. This is good. You’re gonna have a film on top that’s an inch thick. Yeah, eat the ranch skin. That’s where the nutrients are. Come on, man. Ranch skin. I’m going back all the way to team cold on the ranch. Yep. Definitely. Absolutely. Ranch has to be cold. I like room temp. I don’t know! It’s not bad. Don’t be ashamed. Don’t be ashamed. Shame! Shame. Everyone shame Nicole. No shame. No shame. Okay. So does that mean that cold ranch takes the cake? I think so. I vote for it. I don’t know what we’ve established here. At least some stuff is better hot. We’ve learned a lot! The hot mayo is a discovery, the hot BBQ sauce, some coldness, and basically you can’t have anything room temperature, which is how most people eat their condiments. Right. Yeah, so. And now to finish it all off, let’s dump a bunch of the Ranch Brian powder on the Ranch Brian chips and all celebrate. Two new additions to the Mythical crew. Wow. Wow. Whoa, whoa, whoa, that’s good. It’s kind of beautiful. That’s enough. There’s the one lucky Dorito in every bag that was on the end of the factory- But now they’re all the lucky Dorito? Now they’re all the lucky Dorito. I don’t think anything’s gonna stick to it. Yeah, you got spit on it. No, no! Do not spit on it. Put a little Mountain Dew in there and then shake them up. Little spritzer of Mountain- Oh, it stuck to it. Look, they turned white. I bet those fries are really good with the ranch seasoning. This is gonna be so good. It’s gonna make your teeth itch. Look at that. You guys gonna wake up at 3:00 AM needing some water. I mean, look how much it stuck. Look at that. The popcorn season is micronized. I’m excited about that. Ooh! Oh, that is good. Man. That is nice. That is like super ranch. Yum. Hella ranch. Some got on the fries, too. Wow. You should put that powder on one of the Taco Bell Cool Ranch tacos. Am I allowed to say that? You can say whatever you want, man. It’s not a slur. You’re allowed to say anything as long as you mean it. Okay. I mean that. That’s the rule for Sporked. You see how much I put on there? And it’s still good. I didn’t go overboard. I mean, was that half the container, though? Or no? How much is left in there? I mean… It was, like, a third. It is all over your pants. As you pour it on Jordan and your crotch. Yeah. Sorry. It’s okay. When I get cremated, I wanna just be added to one of those popcorn- Well, guys, welcome to the team, and you know what? We’re super excited about Sporked and all that we’re gonna learn and purchase and taste together. Go check out Sporked. Use it. It’ll help you. Join Stevie and her high school best friend, Neagheen, who she hasn’t been friends with for over 15 years, every week on their podcast, Best Friends Back, Alright.