Your favorite food might be lying to you. Let’s talk about that. Good Mythical Morning. Through slogans and taglines food companies slowly make your brain believe whatever they say about their food is the truth. But you can’t believe everything you hear. Yeah like oysters being an aphrodisiac How do you not know that’s big oyster trying to convince you to slurp seafood and get it on. I don’t know because I don’t know anybody at big oyster. Right. Today we’re getting to the bottom of these food claims. To bring you the truth it’s time for Are Your Foods Lying to You? Exposing Dec-eat. Subway has been known for their footlong sandwiches for decades. But recently they’ve added some footlong friends to the menu. Footlong Auntie Anne’s pretzels footlong Cinnabon churros and footlong cookies but are all of these foods really a foot long? How does this make you feel in general? Weird dude. I was at a grocery. I mean a gas station. A grocery gas station. A grass gration. And it had one of those Subways attached to it. And I saw the sign and it was like footlong cookie. It had all this stuff. I was like are you serious? I mean a footlong pretzel? Okay. Footlong churro? Yeah maybe. Footlong cookie? Come on come on. Let’s just start. Obviously we have two to sample from. Let’s start with. Wasn’t there a thing at one point about the subs not being twelve inches and then they made them twelve inches? I think that if there was any problem in the past with this they rectified. My sub is twelve and a half inches. Mine is twelve and a half inches as well exactly. So they’ve made up for it a little bit. Who’s going to complain for double the sub? Now let’s get into this cookie. Now when you measure the cookie don’t measure the plate. Oh measure the cookie. In fact Link I’m glad you said that. We’re going to dump that cookie out and we going to get rid of this sub for now. Look at that. It’s just a long cookie. That’s the longest cookie I’ve ever seen. And it costs $5. So it’s a $5 footlong. We are officially eleven inches and seven eighths my friend. Mine is seven eight. Mine is eleven inches and six six eighths. No I’d say it’s 13 16ths. 11 and 13 16ths. 11 and 13 16ths. 11 and 13 16ths. Yeah just a 13th of an inch shorter than mine because mine is technically 14 16ths. Okay now I want to taste this cookie for a second. Okay. Oh we got to taste it? What’s going to happen when I taste this is the rawer end of the dough. It tastes good. It’s almost like a like a birthday cookie cake. Now we move on to the churro. Okay. Not even freaking close. Not even freaking close people. I’m gonna take mine. I’m going to put it on top. I’m going to do this. We are 11 11 and three eighths. Oh what? What? Oh my gosh you can’t even round that up Link. Mine is. Oh look at how short mine is. Eleven. Now should I get the bend out of it? Push the bend out of. I’ll get your bend out. Push the bend out. Push it down. Sometimes you need a buddy to get the bend out of your churro. But you got to move your finger. Don’t put your finger on the end. Sometimes you need your buddy to move his finger. Eleven. It’s one tick past the half. So that is. You’re having trouble. 9 16ths. Eleven and 9 16ths. Here can you get the bend out of my churro? This is an outrage. I think I got the bend out of my own churro. Yeah I think you did. But now it bent again. I might need to see a doctor. What do you got there? Eleven. I mean I have eleven and a half inches. Okay so when we took the bend out okay okay Subway. Eleven and a half inches. And I do want to. And a half. So we’re upset but we’re going to taste it. This thing costs $2 and it’s co-branded with Cinnabon. But I don’t see any Cinnabon juice in the middle. Is there? Juice? Is it supposed to have the white juice in the middle? No one calls it juice. What is it? Icing. Icing. Where’s the frosting? Where’s the frosting? It didn’t come with frosting? Is there supposed to be frosting in the middle? It doesn’t have frosting in the picture. This is bad. All right so Auntie Anne here. I can look at this and tell you it’s going to be long enough. I think it’s going to be too long. I don’t even have to take the bend out of it. Well you can’t. Mine’s so hard it won’t unbend. Look at that. I’ve got a full twelve and one eighth. You did it. You did it. You did it with the pretzel. Well look at mine. You got a shorty. You got a shorty you didn’t even make it to eleven. Mine is sub eleven. Sub eleven? What happened? Oh my god. I am excited to eat it. Give me your measurement. ten and seven eighths. 13 13 16ths. Okay. You want to be precise? It’s fine. Ten 10 and 13 16ths. I’ve never been so disappointed. Did y’all get these last week? You got these today? Good grace. I mean. The reason why they’ve done this. That was nice Is because they have this thing that they push the subs through in order to. Toast them. Hot-enfy them. And what they’re doing is saying hey let’s use that same microwave thing and let’s just shove these in there. We could do cookies we could do churros everything could be footlong and we can market it that way. And we’re using existing equipment so they’re trying to do something smart and it didn’t work. Here’s the thing. The pretzel and the churro tastes bad so maybe this doesn’t even matter but the pretzel on average is clearly under a foot. The churro on average also under a foot. Now you can round up but that’s not what you said. You didn’t say round up to a footlong. You said footlong. That’s right. And the cookie also didn’t make it. Yeah. I mean it almost made it. But it didn’t. Subway footlongs are Total lies. We’ve got a Pin of the Month program that features limited quantity collectible pins every month. This month it’s me Rhett the log the March Pin of the Month launching this Monday the 18th. And remember you got 24 hours to get this thing once it goes live on Monday at mythical. com. I mean you can subscribe to make sure you get it every month if you want to do that too. All right. Oreos right Stevie? Are Double Stuf Oreos actually double the stuff? Are Mega Stuf Oreos triple the stuff? And are Most Stuf Oreos quadruple the stuff? That’s the question we’re asking. Okay so we’ve already done this okay so we took a regular Oreo we both emptied out the cream and we both got the same measurement of . 11 ounces. Okay? That’s nice. Now let’s go to the Double Stuf Rhett. I’m just going to grab one At random. I want to make sure that this is zeroed out. I’m going to give you one at random as well. I’m zeroed out. Oh man. We are doing the work man. You know how people talk about like you know I do the work. That’s why I am who I am that’s what we’re doing right now man. This is the work. We’re doing the work. Now interestingly what we determined is that there’s still a little bit of cream left on there but it’s the same amount of cream that’s sticking to the cookie on average on each one. So that should cancel itself out. We got to be consistent. And that’s when we both did that and both got . 11 ounces. That one just really kicked off. So we’re assuming that we’re going to get up to. . 22 ounces is what I’m trying. And you can scrape it on the side. And then you have to scrape it on the side. That’s going to work. Get rid of that . 25. Both of us. Okay Oreo I see you. You ain’t playing that Subway game. You are exceeding our expectations. Boom. Look at that. I love it but I gotta say it’s not double. It’s more. You’re complaining about that? I’m not complaining. I’m just I’m a scientist Rhett. I’m observing and I am recording. And that is not double. You’re right. It’s not double. It’s more. I like that. I like it too. But sometimes I like being lied to. Okay so let’s bring in the Mega Stuf. This is supposedly three times the cream. Even though it’s not called Triple Stuf on the official Oreo good gosh look at these things. Amazon page they have this chart that says that it’s three times more cream than the original. Oh it comes off so oh so nice! Oh good gosh. It really did. What about this side? Okay time to scrape. See if I can. I’m just going to peel. You got to do a peel motion. Hold on hold on. . 32 Link. That’s not triple. Well that’s because you. Oh is there anymore? You didn’t get a totally clean. I did look how clean that is! It’s not as clean as. That’s so clean! I mean. Come on baby. Come on baby. I hate to know how you wipe your butt With a bidet. All right homie. I did it. Oh you know what? The fidelity of these is within three one hundreds of an ounce because it both went up to . 35 . 35 We did it. We did it Oreo you’re holding strong. You’re maintaining a ratio. I will say. Say it. . 35 is not triple. Hold on. But let’s say something. A second ago when we weighed and we did the original just the original. Mine said . 11 Yours oscillated between . 11 and . 14 but it stayed on . 11 more often. That’s true. And then I suspected at that point that the fidelity the precision of these measuring devices was only within three one hundreds of an ounce. That’s why it oscillated between . 11 and . 14. Now if you watch yours closely you’re seeing it’s oscillating between . 35 and . 32 see? . 32 . 35. You’re not looking at it. So margin. Look at it. I’m writing something. Look at it! We’re a team. You look I’ll write. . 32 . 35. . 32 . 35. So the margin of error is plus or minus . 03 So what I’m saying Link is it is double because it’s within the margin of error. So we’re looking pretty good. Oreos. What on earth are you thinking with the Most Stuf? Now is it true that these have been discontinued? It’s true. Is that what I heard from y’all? They’ve been discontinued but we Etsy-ed them. We Ebay-ed them. We had someone make them for us in Montana. Four times the cream. Our most ever is what they’ve said. And they only give you. Well there’s one nestled in there. Let’s see how clean this can get. That’s so clean. Okay so we’re looking for . 44 or above. Oh yes. The bigger the cream the cleaner the the peel. It’s crazy. I mean it really comes off nice. Zero point 46. Both of us. So they actually get a little bit more with each time they go up. They make sure that the double is a little bit more than the double. The triple is a little bit more triple than the triple. And the Most Stuf is a little bit more quadrupled than the triple. You’re exceeding the expectations of consumers Oreo but nothing because you’re within the margin of error. That’s right Oreo. And you’re on the upper side of it. So we give you all of the bona fides. Oreo Double Stuf Triple Stuf the Most Stuf Mega Stuf bona fide. Olive Garden claims their family style meals will feed four to six people. Which explains why you are now surrounded by four Mythical crew members. Well four to six. Well you are the six. Yeah. Yep. What is the structure of this family? Welcome family. I’m the fourth one. Okay. I’m the baby. Okay. Call me daddy. Okay. Another property. Daddy and baby. Delinquent kid down the street that comes and hangs out sometimes. Oh yeah. Okay. You’re a guest. I’m a guest. You don’t have actual loving parents? Well I have loving parents. I’m talking about your character. No my character has loving parents. I’m just a little bit you know silly. Okay all right. I’m an uncle. I’m the funkle. You never know what I’m going to say. I’m hungry. So what are we doing? We’re going to eat we’re going to divide this up and kind of. Maybe we just start grabbing what you typically would eat. You know because. I like to grab salad first. If you’re going to like walk away satisfied. That’s the claim. This isn’t like an eating contest? No it’s like does Olive Garden give you enough family food for a family? Four to six family. And you guys can go ahead and not wait for Link to serve you. Oh yeah. Should we argue? Give me your plate Jordan. Start with salad. So there’s there’s twelve breadsticks four to six people. You get two each. So everybody can have. There you go. It’s like a sloppy joe of lasagna. That’s the amount of salad that I would get. All the sides. Hang on. I got this. Aren’t the breadsticks unlimited though? Not at home. Oh yeah. That’s right. There you go. Thank you. Apparently drinks are not included in this meal because we don’t have anything to drink. You can drink the dressing. They stopped giving out water at the Olive Garden? This is definitely all the salad that I want. That’s all the salad I want. I don’t want a lot of salad. I’m done with salad. I love salad. I’m not into salad either. I’m sorry. I’m getting it on the table. This is how I would be at the Olive Garden too. They give you that whole thing of butter too? Drop it. Those are mints. No they’re not. They’re after dinner chocolate mints from Olive Garden. I’m not putting mint on the bread. They already got the garlic butter spread on top of the breadstick. This is like the place you go for prom. Whoa. Service here is all. You’re from the south you know what’s up. Yeah. Good gracious Lucas. I don’t know how to cut lasagna from Olive Garden and I’ve never gone to Olive Garden. Just your general lasagna cutting method would probably suffice. We didn’t say grace. Oh yeah daddy if you want to say grace. You got salad in your beard. Thank you Lord for the salad in Funcle’s beard. Amen! I haven’t gotten any lasagna yet. I’ll chop some up for you. Yes am I just I’m supposed to like rescue… the rejected pieces of lasagna? You can get some from the crispy part. I like cleaning things up. Who are you? Batting cleanup. He’s hungry. He hasn’t said who he is yet. I haven’t I don’t know who I am. The mommy roll is still open. Oh can I do mommy? You can be mommy. Okay cool. So then what am I? Can I be grandpa? Yeah. You already. I want to change. No no you can’t change. You could be a delinquent grandpa. I can’t be who I want to be? Hey I’m his mommy. He could. That’s not a really good message to deliver to the people out there watching that you can’t be who you want to be. I want to be grandpa. All right but who’s? But I’m grandpa. I’m Peepaw. You can be grandpa I’ll be Peepaw. Okay. Are we a couple? You don’t like it? No I really don’t like it. We can be. I think we’re a couple now. Yeah the salad’s good because you can’t really mess up lettuce. What did everybody call their grandparents? Lewis. That sounds about right. It wasn’t a good relationship. Oh that’s why. I was named after him. You want to get into that? No. Can my character have a good relationship with his grandparents? Yeah yeah yeah. Okay. It’s a fantasy. Oh I love him. I loved him great one. That’s awesome. Is he dead? Mad dead. So who are you guys voting for? I’ve got some ideas. Everybody talk about your ailments. My knees. Your knees. My neck my back my. Okay. Dad. I thought you guys would be more excited about that. It’s kind of a modern day dad joke. Taking stock of where we’re at right now I had all the salad I want. Yeah I got all the salad I want. You got a hair on there. And look how much salad. I have a lot of hair on me. Salad way too much. No. I could get some more. Breadsticks. Lunch for the next day. Yeah. And I got more lasagna than I can actually eat. You could give someone a concussion with these breadsticks. Like I thought when they said four to six that six was going to be pushing it. It’s not. But this could I think we could push this to seven or eight. A few more family members in here. Anybody want to join us? Yeah. Come on. Come on Vee. Get out here. After the way we’ve been acting? No. No? Get Vee in here. Hello I’m your long lost cousin Chung. Chung? What? Well welcome Chung. Chung you want some a whole thing of salad. Yeah. I would love that. Here’s the dressing. And we don’t have a plate Chung. Classic cousin Chung. So you can eat right out of the. Please don’t. Oh no no no. What is happening? Oh I don’t want it in my shirt. Oh my god. Is that lasagna? No please. No. Oh no no no. Please be careful with that. We just gave Peepaw a sponge bath. Don’t. Oh my god. I think even if. You know what you can take it to go. Yeah? Yeah. I mean look how much is left. I’m going to go feed my cat. This is four grown six grown adults and Chunk. Chunk? This is more than I want. And there’s I mean except for what Chung did. There was definitely enough for a 9th and 10th person. I don’t know if I’d go to 9th and 10th. I mean that was seven. Maybe we go to eight. Definitely. Easy. Did cousin Chung take the lasagna? Yeah Chung did. So we finished that. So I think we’ve come to a verdict. Yeah. Olive Garden family-style meals feeds four. To six? bona fide. Well Oreos and Olive Garden thanks for earning our trust today. Subway tighten up. That’s right. Thanks for subscribing and clicking that bell. You know what time it is. Hi I’m Chris. And I’m Helen. And we’re in Sedona Arizona. And it’s time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality. Don’t fall in a vortex. Click the top link to see if we can guess some wild athlete food puns in Good Mythical More. And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality is going to land. Get ready. Our March Pin of the Month is going to be available this Monday for just 24 hours at mythical. com.