I went mountain biking down an actual mountain and it didn’t go well let’s talk about that good mythical morning as many of you know I am an avid mountain biker or I’m out on bike on occasion you’ve gone with me sometimes I’m not a professional mountain biker but you’re not you’re not I’m not going with you anymore you don’t you close I was cuz you’re back and for those of you who watch good mythical more you know that I was going on a mountain biking excursion in the near future well having now gone on that excursion I’m back to report that I’m still alive but maybe just barely so I think there’s things to be learned here well first of all I will let you know my feelings are a little hurt but I’m gonna just get your back you said your back is mad mountain biking messes it up don’t make me the bad guy here it’s always an open invitation you could put me on one of those little kid seats on the back of your mountain bike you could do like a kiddy bobsledding thing cuz this was at a snow resort okay listen here’s how it worked let me tell this story the guy that I do choose to spend my mountain biking time with Nick was my companion on this trip now Nick and I we go in the in the mountains around my house and what we go on them not in them we don’t go in caves those are really Hills but you find yourself doing a lot of pedaling up hills and grunting and hyperventilating and sometimes it gets so steep you get off the bike and you push the bike up the hill the moment of defeat just no professional mountain biker ever pushes up a hill just FYI I do that a lot I’m and I’m I um that just so you can experience going down the other side of the mountain and as we’re going up the mountain one day Nick turns me in in between hyperventilating breaths he says link and he’s freaking speaking very dramatically link no really said you know there is a land where you can be magically transported to the top of a mountain you can circumvent all of this craziness of trying to go up a mountain and then after being magically transported you can then experience only the positives of mountain by which is going down the mountain and none other workout none of the well not that type of workout it’s still a workout going down it takes a lot of skill okay it also costs odd money because you got to pay for a ski lift so we go to this place the snow summit the Big Bear it’s not magic like to out no it’s not two hours outside of Los Angeles we drive there we get our lift ticket did you push your car did you know I drove the car I’m not interested in a workout I’m interested in the thrill of mountain bike no down a mountain without having to a POW I’m proud of you I just feel like I missed out I was cool I just you’re invited you know hung out it’s your back I rode my bike on flat flat earth so so we get there we get our lift ticket we get up there we stand in line it’s a ski lift they hang your bike on the thing and then that one goes by and then they don’t have to second buy you don’t like to have to hold your bike with your feet like you do a snowboard or skis or something no they put it on a rack they put it on that where you would sit they hang it on a hook then another one goes by and they put Nick’s bike on the next one and then Nick and I sit beside each other because we’re friends and then how do you get it off when it hammer I and then there’s a person who takes it off at the top and then takes Nick’s off at the top and then the third one is us and we get off and then we get our bikes and you don’t have to take your own bike off because I would screw that up I mean you should see me trying to get off a regular ski but it’s difficult enough man I didn’t I would not have had to want to also unhook my bahía even before I get on the lift I start to notice that Nick and I are misfits in this world of ski ski slope mountain biking okay I look around and everyone else that is getting in line is dressed a little bit differently than me people have helmets on that cover their entire face okay their faces are being protected and you wear like an old skateboard helmet from like 1988 literally a skateboard helmet these people have body armor on I’m like what are you doing at the top of the mountain going to war they’ve got guards here guards on their sins chest guards I have gloves with that I have one biker glove the other glove I have is a craftsman two glove are you sure it wasn’t Comic Con I just use it it’s supposed to be used to fix cars I get on this thing and I’m oh my gosh I’m severely underprepared there are people with neck braces no no they wear neck things so their heads won’t pop off when they’re going down the mountain are they laughing at you they snickering they’re kind of or they’re pointing their mumbling under their breath I get to the top and we get our bikes and I ask the guy the attendant who’s in front of the maps and I say where intermediate bicyclists uh how do you recommend we get down the mountain they’re confident what’s what’s the trail we can take as like a beginner such in a minute he said have you ever done this before and I said well never like this and he said there is no way down that’s what he says to me he says there’s no way for you to get down you said you’re not good enough that’s what he said on your bike is what I’m thinking yeah and I’m like I’m gonna do this but he was basically saying you know gait board home you don’t have the armor you don’t have you don’t have any of that now Nicky now we’re gonna go down we’re not gonna we’re not just gonna go in on the slope and get a refund so we should we shove off going down now Nick has a camera on his bike that he took some footage we start going down this thing and I just see people whizzing down in front of us bear hissing before we start going they’re whizzing down in the Mafia he’s guys are going so fast so my first thought was I’m gonna get rear-ended I’m gonna get I’m gonna get hurt because someone is going so much faster than me a guy that neck brace is gonna come up and headbutt you and my head’s gonna pop off the single track trails it had been raining so they were really bumpy I look at the other people’s bikes I didn’t even tell you that it made my bike look like it was some primitive prototype that years later would become their bike yeah it had you do have kind of a dweeb II mountain bike I mean a suspension in the front but there’s that suspension it was the bike was nothing but suspension I don’t know even how that he doesn’t even touch the ground is so hey bite yeah these people are going down in so much speed that were secret we’re always looking over to let somebody pass us but we finally we start going we’re going now on your left do they say stuff like that one guy was on your loft one guy was saying yep cuz there’s a bunch of switchbacks so earlier up the mountain higher up the mountain you’ll see you got whizzing down and you’ll just hear yep and then you’ll pull over let him go by you if they’re right there are these banked turns made out of dirt that it’s like Nascar yeah that’s why I don’t do it and so we’re taking this thing going totally sideways and then you just keep going we encountered this one place where they built a deck out of wood that was suspended at least thirty feet over the side of a mountain then you would turn and Nick stops at this point and he tells me to go on through and I’m looking at this thing and I don’t know how I didn’t crap my pants I was so scared horrible indoors I mean I just go oh I didn’t have on biker Shores I had all cash or it’s you know I don’t own biker shorts I’m glad I didn’t go with you I’m just saying I don’t feel badly I made it down that wash there and then you get to the bottom and there’s these huge Bank turns that are made out of cinder blocks shaped like X’s there’s a little bit wetter been raining I take one I’m like fishtailing everywhere I’m scared I encountered another one and I’m going up this hill and then all of a sudden it’s this big Bank turn of cinder blocks and life lesson here if you want to really experience something you got to go all in in order to turn these corners you got to go all in I was so scared I couldn’t do it so I’m like kind of going like this and then all of a sudden my bike just goes out from under me and I’m sliding on my side going down this thing I’ve fallen off my bike red card you’re tacking shorts hold up the shorts were fine when I get home I have a strawberry the size of a watermelon like I mean literally I have a swollen place right here on the bottom of my butt that’s it’s it’s moist and raw right now I could I could show it to you but I’d have to pull my pants studies don’t I could show it to you so when do we go but I have to pull my pants for the next time do you want to see it no I don’t want to see your strawberry this size of a water it was fun I’m gonna go back I know Nick wants to go back I’m just gonna think about it well you need to you need to mend up a little bit first hi I am in pain and you need to get the right bike and you need it and you know you need I’m not going unless you have a neck brace you know what time it is hi I’m James from Calgary Alberta it’s time to spin the wheel of mythicality okay let’s spin the wheel of mythicality please submit your ideas for how we can in these episodes click the on good mythical more and I’ll show you my wound really I’ll pull my pants down I’ll show it if I believe rhett and mirrors link so I mean it’s kind of right in here kind of right in here you know you got to do it the other way you’re not you’re not good at mirroring and then sometimes I’m going down the mountain and it’s kind of like this and it’s really shaky you know I don’t know why we would be talking to my mirror but it helps me boost my self-esteem and then you know when I hit that turn I just didn’t do it full bore so instead of going like this I ended up going like this and then I’m you know I got a big strawberry right here this is me doing this have you never look in a mirror and he goes well yeah you really gotta gotta lean into it you can’t I said I don’t want advice from a guy who it’s his first day you told him all I had on a bandana in sunglasses you’re done right I told him that