GMM 2840: We Try Every At-Home Test

We took every at-home test we could find, and we’re about to learn the results. Let’s talk about that. [funky intro music] Good Mythical Morning. We’ve tested a lot of things over the years from wacky products to crazy food mashups, to Stevie’s patience. Mm-hmm. We also did a biological age test a while back, and that got us to thinking if we can send off our bodily fluids to find out our biological age, what else can our bodily fluids tell us? So today we’re tapping the full potential of all our fluids. And when I say all, I mean all. It got, pretty intimate. Yep. It is time for, It’s Sa-live, and More: Taking Every at-home Test. Okay, boys, you’ve already taken a bunch of at-home tests in the last few weeks and now it’s time to reveal your results. We’re gonna start with all of the blood tests, which I heard, uh, were perhaps the most difficult for you. Well, well, first of all, I don’t remember saying yes to this, but. We knew you would say no. We probably. Oh, you said yes to this? Yes. Because you believe that when you subject yourself to every test and then sharing it with a crew before we even knew what it was, that that doesn’t put us in some sort of risk of like– Oh, I didn’t think about that. Embarrassment. Or worse? Maybe we shouldn’t upload this. Like we could, we find out that we have something that’s gonna change our lives indefinitely and we just got Davin over there, just, just juggling with it. Well, if we had have found. Maybe we did find out you had– You don’t know. I think if they found out that if we’re about to die, they would probably not will let us do this. And I didn’t know there was gonna be so many. And yeah. So I already got this upset when I showed up and saw this array of tests we had to take. And I will say that both of us, for some reason, uh, even though I don’t consider myself to have thick blood, uh, both of us have a tr a lot of trouble with a finger prick. Like, because each one to a little we’re to do a finger prick and then like. Do a bunch of blood stuff. Drip. Drip. So we did that and then we’re supposed, the first one I think was the blood test and it was like these five little circles that you had to drop. On like a business card. I at least got like a couple of drops. You couldn’t get anything to drop at all. ’cause my blood knows where it needs to stay. Oh, okay. And so then we were like, this is gonna kill us if we have to keep doing this. So we had the idea to bring in someone who would just take a bunch of blood out of us. A phlebotomist, you know, someone who does their job. They take your blood, and then they just spew it on business cards or whatever they do. And then we showed up a few days later and it was Matt from, uh, the medic. The medic who’s working on WonderHole. Yeah. And um, the whole point of Matt the medic, is that he never actually does anything. I mean, no offense to Matt, but. Yeah. This, this was the most work he’s done for us. If everything goes well, he does nothing. Right. He, well, he does say, make sure you put your sunscreen on. He said that a few times. Yeah. And he’s ready if something goes wrong, but yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing has. Okay. Well, luckily we were able to distribute your blood onto many-a-test. Almost fainted. We are starting with, uh, the blood type test. This is important ’cause you need to put this into your phone on the little thing. I’m, uh, I already know this. I’m, um. I know we did it on the show at some point. I think I’m– But I couldn’t remember what mine was. What is AB or O? Mm-hmm. I’m, I think I. Or AB? Or AB? I think I’m o. O. Okay. No. Um, so this test required four drops of blood mixed with water. And after it dried, we discovered that Rhett, you are….. O positive. What does that mean? That is the most common blood type. Yes. And also you are a universal donor for like over 80% of people who have positive blood types. Am I a universal receiver? No, we don’t know. I’m a universal donor. O positive. Lemme look. Lemme look up the receiving, um, Link, you are A positive. So I’m a bottom. Uh, what? Yeah. You mean a pH bottom? You got it. Yeah, that’s right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you’re not, you’re not a receiver. Uh, well. I’m A positive. You’re A positive. That’s a plus. You’re not a, that’s the best universal receiver. That is AB, um. Okay. But Link is a bottom. And also a fun fact about a positive. A positive blood from a, from male donors can be made into special medicines to treat conditions such as dry eye syndrome. So Link has– Bleed in your eye. Something that you need. Right. Well, I have dry eye. That’s what I’m saying. Can I just bleed into your eye? He has the solution to it. Oh, he has it. Yeah, I have it. You need to bleed into my eyes. Yeah. Next time I’m bleeding, I’ll just drop it right into your eye. Okay, up next is a serum ferritin test. Uh, it measures the amount of ferritin in your blood, which is a protein that stores iron in your cells. And we’ve discovered that both of you are iron deficient. Really. Um, Link, you have insufficient iron and Rhett, you are severely deficient of iron. Severely? Yeah, but I’m pretty sure it’s fairly common to be on, on that end of the spectrum. Now don’t go Googling things in the middle. In the middle of an episode. I was gonna write it down. He has health anxiety. Well, we’ll give you all this information. So I need what I need to fi, I need to find iron and lick it. What do I, what do you do? There’s iron supplements. Iron things. Eat red meat. It’s really good for you. Yeah, that too. Um, up next is the oral herpes test. It detects HSV one antibodies in a blood sample. Listen, I’ve already told y’all I, I am a Herpes icon. You’re a [bleep]. Herpes. And a bottom. Rhett, uh, your test came back Negative. Thank you. Link, yours came back positive. Ready? Oh, at least we know it worked. How, how positive? Super positive. So solid. I did not have a current outbreak. Yeah, it’s a blood test. Um, I’m just saying it. I know it’s always there, but this is proof that it’s always lurking in the shadows. Waiting to just explode off my face. Yes. Uh, up next, the Heart Health test. Mm-hmm. Um, this is one of the few tests we had to send out to a lab to read. It’s a series of lipid panel tests that took, uh, that look at total chore– Cholesterol. Triglycerides, HDL and LDL. Yeah. Cholesterol. Yeah. Rhett, your total cholesterol and HDL cholesterol levels were normal. But your triglycerides and LDL cholesterol levels were high. Yeah. Link, your HDL cholesterol and triglyceride levels were normal. Yes. But your total cholesterol and LDL cholesterol levels were high. Yes. It’s a little mix. A little mix. I knew that you, I knew that I’m working on it and I’ve actually brought it down. Like 50 points. I am just saying that it’s genetic and I’m not changing anything. Okay, good. Okay. Uh, your last blood test was for syphilis. Okay. This test claims that 60% of people that have syphilis don’t know they have it. Hold on. So, if you’re about to tell one of us that we have syphilis, what are the ways you could have gotten that, that don’t involve– Sex? Yeah. Mm. Toilet seat. I don’t, I don’t know how syphilis is. Ive used a lot of public restrooms. Like at amusement parks for some reason I get the, the runs at the amusement parks. I don’t know, it’s just, I just, I feel like if you were about to tell one of us, we have syphilis, you would’ve told us off camera, right? Is that? Yeah. I hope. Oh, it’s only sex. Uh, that’s, that’s how you, that’s how you get. Okay, then I don’t have it. Uh, you both don’t have it. It’s a good, whew. Yeah. You probably, I’m not even, you passed. You passed. Do I look relieved? ’cause I’m not. Um, but I have an iron deficiency. A severe one. What does that mean? Yeah, it’s okay. It still can be fine. I don’t know. I don’t know. You’re not a doctor. We are, well. I can, I can rectify it. I believe. I, I, I have a– Iron pills. I have that. Constipates you as well. That’s, that’s popped up for me. Okay. Because, so, and I’m fine. Okay. Really pale. But I don’t know if that has anything to do with it. I think it does. Anyway, that’s the end of blood tests and we are moving on to the urine test category. Would you like to talk about peeing or have we done that enough on this show? We’ve done that enough. Yeah. Yeah. We pee all the time on this show. Um, first test is. I hate that y’all had to handle it though. Well, I was told some things privately, uh, by someone, uh, about both your blood and your urine. I have strong urine ’cause I mark my territory. You have strong urine. You both have strong fortified urine. I’ve heard. Um, the first test is a UTI I test. Uh, that can happen. UTIs can happen to anyone regardless of gender. Uh, but thankfully both of you do not have UTIs. Um, up next the common STD test. Mm-hmm. Now, uh, we had to send this one out as well and it checks for three common incurable STDs, chlamydia, gonorrhea, and a common one that I don’t know how to pronounce. Trick, trick night Chima. Y’all just trying catch us with a ST? Hicimas. And we said yes to this. Jicama. I’ve had Jicama. Yeah, that’s good, right? Hold on, if that showed up. Little like vinegar, little salt. I don’t know. Uh, feel a little violated here. Both of you are good. No sts, no STDs. Okay. And no STDs. What is this one Trick? Trick? trichomoniasis. Is that, do people talk about that? There’s a straight name for that. Have you seen my best trick? Oh, I get it. I’m looking over at Sierra, who’s the writer of this episode. Um, and she looks terrified. Uh, everybody’s making their own joke up. It’s okay. An alcohol test. Um, the text, if you’ve consumed alcohol in the previous 80 hours, 80, both of your results were negative. What’s up, you guys just sitting at home, not 80 hours, not drinking alcohol. I don’t drink a lot of alcohol. I drink alcohol every 81 hours. Yes. Uh, then we did an ovulation test. I think I was ovulating. I’ve been waiting on this one. I was ovulating during the test. I could feel it. You are negative. Okay. We did a pregnancy test. Yeah. I always wanted to do one of those. You’re negative. Okay. We did a menopause test. You are negative. Okay. But we’re still men. I’ll tell you, you’re thorough. Anything. We also often paused. Very thorough. And that is the conclusion of the urine tests. Men of pause. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and at this, and we can take a breather at this junction. Yeah. ’cause I know what’s coming up on the other side is having to be intimate with a cup. Yep. Mm-hmm. All right. But if you want to be intimate with summer, uh, you know, we have a channel called Mythical 24 7. Yes, we do. It’s constantly running mythical content and we have a summer marathon happening on our channel, mythical 24 7. Uh, if you have Amazon Prime and Fire TV channels, you got it. If you got Roku, you got it. If you got Samsung, you got it. And more. So check it out. Mythical 24 7. Okay. Here we are in the miscellaneous category, which is, um. Can we just, can we just skip to the, I, to the– No, let it build, let it build up. The baby batter. Let it build up. Let it build up. Fine. Build up to it. Okay. This is, I’m interested in the results, man. This is non-blood, non urine tests. Mm-hmm. Uh, we did a COVID test ’cause that’s one, that’s a test. Hadn’t done enough of those in the past few years. Yeah. You are negative of course. Okay. Um, nutrition imbalance test. Yeah. I don’t have enough iron. I know that. What. This test claims to detect the body’s inability to absorb specific vitamins, minerals, fatty acids, amino acids, and trace minerals. What did we do for this? Hair? It required 10 to 15 strands of your head and or body hair. This the first thing I gave a lot. I gave a lot of arm hair. Oh, I’m gonna let you know what nutrients were at level three, which means your body is experiencing a severe inability to absorb these nutrients. I hate this. Aren’t you so excited. I hate this. Okay, Rhett. You are experiencing a severe inability to absorb six different nutrients, including aordonic acid. I knew it. Every time I go out for arodonic acid, I’m like, I know this isn’t doing anything. Biofavanoids. Manganese, and, uh. Threeanine. What? What are we expected to do with this information? Well, I don’t know what any of Rhetts are, but I know what yours are. Link ’cause you are experiencing a severe inability to absorb 14 different nutrients, including calcium, sulfur, vitamins A, B 11, B 13, D three, and K one. And that’s not all of them. Why? I, yeah, I’ll figured it out. I don’t really know what that means. Well just, you know, people say that if you take that, taking supplements sometimes doesn’t do anything ’cause your body doesn’t absorb them so. Well, now we know. I know. Um, okay, up next. I’ll figure that out. The HIV tests. Okay. Okay. This could really take things in a weird direction. I wanna say it was done via an oral swab. And we’re not saying– Oh, and it hurt too. That this specific test isn’t legit. But here’s a quote from the, uh, listing. It’s the only at home oral HIV test approved by the, that’s, that’s the end of the sentence. By the period. Approved by the. By the, yep. That’s it. Yeah. Um, you’re both negative. Okay, good. You’re both negative. You can. You can, you can rest assured for that one. Alright. Uh, well, I mean, via that oral test. That you can take it home. You can rest assured. Colon health test. Mm-hmm. This is a fecal occult blood rapid test that looks for hidden blood in a stool sample one of, uh, two tests we sent home with you to do on your own time. It’s not a fun one. Uh, it says, and your wives sent in your result. What? Why? What do you mean? What, so we couldn’t see the results? Well, let me just say, oh, that was the plan. Oh, okay. My wife was outta town, so I had to be her. So I, so I had to. You had to poop without you holding her hand. So I had to poop. Now, first of all, let’s talk about that. Um, I usually poop when she’s not in the bathroom. I’ve had to do this a couple of times ’cause I did this for like, before we got our colonoscopies, there was this thing that Cologuard thing I had to pick. I had to take a crap into that just to make sure I didn’t have colon cancer while I waited on you to turn old enough to do colon whatever. Yeah. Yeah. So for this one, you tape this like…. paper. It’s, it’s like a net under a trape ice, and then you crap into, but it’s paper. This like, ha basically a poop hammock. When you poop into the water, you’re like, oh, that was a, that, I don’t dunno how much poop that was. When you poop into a poop hammock, you’re like, I’m a bear. You’re like, I can’t believe how much poop I can make. It’s like, like if I was, if I pooped in somebody’s yard, they would be like, this must be a bear. They wouldn’t think it was a dog. There’s like, there’s no dog. Great Dane or otherwise, that can make as much poop as I can make in one sitting. I don’t. Is that how you feel? Not exactly not of that. Well, if our farts are anything. I mean, I think I’m in Great Dane territory, but I’m not in. I’m in bear and I’m talking grizzly. I’m not talking black bear. I’m grizzly bear territory. Okay, good gracious. It was obscene. Both of your results were negative. Yeah. We haven’t been involved in the occult. And the next test is the post vasectomy sperm count test. Um, oh, I tell you never participated in one of these. Okay. Like you’ve never given for medical reasons. I’ve never, I’ve never donated any of any of that batter to, um, well, I’ve only, I’ve only donated to one person. Uhhuh. Right. Yeah, me too. Yeah. And, um, how did it go for you? Well, that one person was, uh, in North Carolina at the, at the time. Oh. So I did hand handled things on my own. Yeah. How was that? Uh, it’s quite nice. I’m a fan. I, um, I opted to unwittingly do the most challenging way. Um. Which I’d never done before. And I realized as I was doing it, I would say we, we both realized that I had never done that method before. Yes. The one where, um, you know, you gotta, you gotta put that thing in reverse. The pullout method? You back it out. The backout method. Hold on, you, hold on, did you have like a cup on standby and Christie didn’t know? She, she knew. It was like, it was like bringing a third person into our bedroom and it was just a little plastic cup. Mr. Cup. Yeah. I don’t know why anybody would adopt this as a, as a method of birth control. Uh, it’s, it’s. Hold on. You’re serious. It’s like we, we use that method for like, I’ve never once used the method. But hold on, but in between children, we use that method a lot because I was like, I don’t want you to get pregnant, but if you did, it’s not the end of the world. Yeah. But you’re still. So you, you wrapped it up the whole time in between kids only exclusively. Oh yeah. I handled it on my own. That’s on me. It’s difficult. Listen, listen. And it’s not worth it. You’re, it’s dumb. The results are– Don’t do it. The results are that– Find another way. Both of your vasectomies worked. Yeah, they worked. So that’s the results of that test. Now we’re gonna move on, Link. It’s the first, and last time I will ever try that. We gonna move on, to a test that we’re doing right now. It actually took two attempts. We’re doing a test right now. I left it. We’re doing it. It’s called the Checkmate Infidelity Test. So this test claims to test suspicious stains for Semens, so you can see if your partner has been unfaithful and what we’ve done in order to, uh. Test this ’cause we didn’t test it on your clothing or your wive’s clothing. Good. We actually went to the thrift store and we picked two random. Suspicious. Pieces of clothing, uh, if we could. Yep. And so suspicious looking. Uh, we did the test, we have the results. I will say one piece came back negative. One piece came back positive. And the positive pieces on Link’s side. Oh, is it? But it’s probably not the waistband. ’cause that’s the only place I’ve touched. Uh, actually that is exactly where we swabbed. It was all around the waistband. The waistband only? Yeah. No, no. It was like a belt basically. Just kidding. They’re, they both came back negative. Oh, great. Okay. But that’s the thing you can do. It’s the thing you can do. Well, we did that, but now it’s the thing that we can’t do because. We’ve done it guys. How do you feel? Your bosses are free, clear of nothing. I feel terrible. Cholesterol and herpes. The worst part was the part when you were talking for that really long period of time and like now I feel terrible. Yeah. I’m just trying to give you what you want. No, you guys send me home with a freaking cup. Yeah, I gotta get something out of it too. You want a cup every day? Uh, yeah, I can get into it. No, I hated it. It was dumb. It was stupid. Don’t send home with anymore. I don’t get it. Okay. We learned a lot about ourselves. We gotta, I mean, the cholesterol, we gotta look into that and those other things that Stevie– Iron deficiency. Yeah. Thanks for commenting and sharing this video. You know what time it is. This is Michael with Red Dirt Magnet Fishing, cleaning up the waterways of Oklahoma with the giant magnet and it’s time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality. Magnet fishing. I love giant magnets. Click the top link to watch us play with some smaller magnets in Good Mythical More. And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality’s gonna land. Throw back to your favorite summer mythical Moments on Mythical 24 7 Stream our channel on Amazon Prime and Fire TV channels, Roku, Samsung, and more.

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