What’s the best noodle in all of Europe? Let’s talk about that. Good Mythical Morning! Welcome to day two of our quest to find the very best noodles in the world. Today, we’re headed to Europe. Yes, old chap, we’re going across the pond to see which noodle is jolly good. I forgot to tell you, there aren’t any British noodles in the running. Turns out noodles are not a big thing in the UK. Bollocks! I learned this perfect accent for nothing! Sorry. It’s time for, “We All Slurp In The Same Language, “Day 2 European Noodle Dish Pageant.” Okay, boys, first up, you have Spretzle hailing from Germany so taste it, give it a score out of 10, and choose those scores wisely, ’cause as you remember, the winning noodle dish will when a trip to- The nude beach. Nude beach. Yes! Okay. Spretzle. Spretzle. Spretzle. There’s multiple pronunciations, but I’m told that the right one is Spretzle. So if you wanna argue with me in the comments, I’ll be making a special appearance Do it, do it! In the comments to argue about Spretzle. Give us that engagement. Why does it look like this? Yeah, how is this made? So the batter is looser than a typical pasta dough, it’s almost like pancake batter, but it’s just flour, water, eggs, and then it gets pushed through this Spretzle maker and you put it straight into boiling water. Oh, so it’s like little noodle turds that come out of a thing and down into a… It’s extruding. And in German, that’s actually what it means, noodle turds. Noodle turds. According to my notes. And it’s an egg noodle. It could also mean little penises. Little pieces. Oh, little penises! No, little penises. I’m reading it right here. Oh. I’m not joking at this point. Oh, okay. Well, that’s better than little pieces. I never joke about penises. It kind of does look like it would be like little penises. If your penis looks like that, I mean, good for you, I don’t wanna judge anybody’s penis, but I’m glad mine doesn’t look like that, can I just say that? Can I just say, he’s lying. I’ve seen it at a urinal once. Do you have Spretzle penis? Call our number at 1-800-NO-SPRETZLE. Don’t give them our number. We do have a number. I don’t want them calling about this. I don’t really like it. The taste is kind of bland. You love bland stuff though, so do you like it? And then there’s a little something that after I get my hopes up with blandness, it’s followed by some meh-ness. Meh-ness rhymes with penis, and that makes me wanna give it a three. I’m gonna give it a four. Up next is Pastitsio hailing from Greece. Pastitsio? Pastitsio. Why have we not heard, where have we been? It probably doesn’t taste good if we’ve never heard of it, right? Because I mean, anything that tastes good, we’ve heard of. That’s right. So Lily, what is all in this, ’cause it looks like lasagna. It does look like lasagna, and it actually does have some Italian influence, but it has a tubular pasta and then there’s like a beef and lamb meat mixture with a lot of warm spices. And then you have Kasseri cheese on top and some bechamel. What cheese? Kasseri cheese, it’s a Greek cheese that’s similar to Parmesan. It’s really good. You got that cheese, it’s like Hamburger Helper with a bunch of cheese on top. But the cheese is very light. Sorry, Greek people. It is very light cheese, and it’s not particularly spicy or rich in like a… I really want a tomato sauce. It feels like it’s missing… There’s no tang in it. Right. I do like it. That’s ’cause we start thinking that it’s lasagna. I’m gonna give it a six, ’cause I do like it, but I want it to be more and I feel like it could have been. Tangless lasagna, I’m gonna give it a six as well. Double six. This is Makos Teszta from Hungary. Hungary? I got a short one. Yeah. You said it. Are these black eggs? I didn’t. They’re poppy seeds. Poppy seeds. Okay, good. No drug test for me today. Now if you are asking yourself or asking out loud or asking in the comments, how did they even determine which pastas they were tasting? You probably said it just like that. But the answer is when we did the Asian noodles, there were so many that we had to narrow it down, but for the European noodles, there ends up being a lot of things that are similar, and so we tried to do ones that represented the most different things that Europe has to offer. That’s why we’re seeing things that we’ve never even heard of, like I mean, y’all could be making this up. Or liked. This could be a prank on us, poppy seed noodles from Hungary. It’s surprising, Rhett. Experience the surprise. Are you eating it with your hands, because you think that’s how the people of Hungary do it? I just want to. Tell them how surprised you are. Well, I’m not pleasantly surprised. It’s sweet. It tastes like a poppy seed muffin. Poppy seeds aren’t sweet, are they? There’s sugar in it. In a poppy seed? No, like sugar in the pasta dish. It’s a sweet pasta. It’s so weird. Where is Italy when you need them, good god. They’re coming. Italy’s coming to the rescue soon enough. I mean, it’s a bit strange. It’s very underwhelming. How does this stick around when you’ve got other options? I don’t know. It originated in the 16th century as a humble meal beloved by peasants. I do find myself going back to it though. Because I’m so perplexed by it. I don’t like sweet and this noodle, it’s just not working for me. Looks like there’s bugs on it, three. It has an earthy taste, and when I say earthy, I almost mean dirt, two. Two for Rhett. This is Fideua from Spain. Fi-di-wah? Fee-day-wah. Fee-day-wah. Fee-day-wah. It’s like if Fetty Wap and 50 Cent had a baby together. Fideua. It would look like this. Fideua. It would look like a paella. It looks like paella with noodles. But with noodles? Yeah, that’s pretty much it. Sometimes they serve a little garlic aioli on the top, but tell me the difference. Sometimes they do, Lily. Ha, ha, ha, that’s right. Have you ever had your food talked to you, Chef? No, I don’t like that. Yes, you know, we have feelings, and we have hearts, and we have aspirations, and you’re constantly killing them when you cook us. Can you just eat the food? Can you not pick up the food that I’m eating- Can you not? And then throw it back onto the plate that I’m eating from. These restrictions, it’s just hard to live under your restrictions. Yeah, mm-hmm. When you say your, you mean the world that you live in? Sorry. I make my own paella. Yes, you do. And I gotta say I know that the traditional Valencian version is very seafood-y. I do put shrimp in mine, but I don’t use a seafood stock. You don’t like this as much? This is good. I have a very… My paella is a bastardization of paella, which is commonly made by people in America. Okay. There’s like chorizo. You’ve had it. I’ve liked it. I like a good bastard. I have chicken in it too. I like that too. Chicken, chorizo, shrimp. There’s no rules. I got no problem with this at all though. It’s very good. It might be the best thing that we’ve had. The yellowness of the noodles makes me think of the Rice-A-Roni when they do noodles. It comes from the saffron. Do you want me to confirm that? Did this come out of a box? No, it’s saffron, that’s the yellow. Yes, of course. I like it good enough to push it to- I’ll give it a seven. I’m gonna give it a… I like it just as much as the rice version, I’m gonna give it a seven too. Oh! It’s the moment you’ve been waiting for. Thank God! We have arrived in Italy. Whoo! And this is pappardelle bolognese. Wow! I mean, are we learning that Italy is just carrying noodles for Europe? Did we not need to learn that? I mean, nobody else has got anything worth a darn. Sorry. I mean, Italy is basically… I mean, they exported this pasta all over the world. This is all coming apart right now. And this is from northern Italy in particular. Ooh! Oh, yes! So pappardelle, that’s a fat noodle. Yeah, it’s like having a plate with meats and sauces on it that you’re putting in your mouth, twisting it around on your fork every single time. Lily, it can’t be true that early versions of bolognese did not have tomato sauce. I didn’t know that, thank you. But they snuck into some of the more modern versions. Well, you know, my dad- Well, it had a sauce, but it didn’t have tomatoes. I don’t know if you remember this, when we were kids- Which I understand. My dad took a trip to Italy, you remember this? No. When he went with Mr. Buzzard. Mr. Buzzard is not like a guy from the game Clue, it’s literally his friend with the last name Buzzard. Okay. Was it Mr. Buzzard in Italy with Rhett’s father? And when my dad came back from Italy he says, “You know, you’d be so surprised, “they don’t use red sauce a lot. “It’s just pasta, it was clear, but it was so good, “it was so fresh.” Clear sauce? Meaning that they didn’t put a bunch of red sauce. He was basically saying that he didn’t see that wherever he was in Italy. So maybe this is a more modern version of it. But dang if it ain’t good. That’s what I read, but of course I have to teach Lily a lot about food on this show. Right. So I had to do it. I’m gonna leave a little room, because we ain’t done yet, eight. I’m gonna leave a little less room, nine. It is great. This is tonnarelli coche de pepe. Ooh yeah! So it’s black pepper and noodles. And cheese. And cheese. What kind of cheese we working with here? Pecorino Romano from the sheep. Pecorino. From the sheep? From the sheep. Sheep cheese. Okay, I did not know that. And this is from central Italy, so moving from northern to central. I only recently discovered this stuff as a lover of black pepper. I got this as a restaurant. What’s that place? Mother Wolf. Mother Wolf. It’s very good at Mother Wolf. I was so happy to have it ’cause I love black pepper. It’s excellent. It’s excellent, my friend loves it. He really loves it. He sucks it right up. You don’t wanna eat with him, you wanna put him at a table by himself, facing away from you, but he loves it. Like a child being scorned in the corner. And it’s always a little bit awkward when you request it, when you show up, and it’s like, “Party of four, “well, technically part of three, “and then put this man at a table by himself.” I got some slurpage on my glasses. Facing away from all of us. It’s very simple. It’s elegant. I personally don’t like a whole plate of it. It’s what the rest of Europe is trying to do with minimalism, but they’ve nailed it. It’s a perfect presentation of pasta, which makes me wanna give it a really, really high score. When I’ve eaten it, I’ve eaten other things too. Right, like would you just eat that whole plate? No, you gotta mix it up with something. That’d be a lot. Needs some meat. You gotta cut it a little bit, right? Yeah. The noodles are like spaghetti, but they’re squared instead of… I’m trying to see are they square instead of rounded. Yeah. Interesting. I mean, I can’t give it more than an eight, but I’m so fond of it in its specificity that I will give it an eight. I will also give it an eight. Whoa! Earlier when I told you about my father going to Italy with Mr. Buzzard, yes, it is true, but also it was a little tease because about what we’re about to tell you. Yeah, tell them about what we’re about to tell them about. We actually have a Clue game. A Mythical themed Clue game. Yes, officially a Clue game, the Mythical Edition that you can get, but there’s only one way that you can get it. How is that? You gotta sign up for Third Degree Mythical Society now to get this thing, okay? MythicalSociety.com. Tell us a little bit about it. It’s not just some cheap imitation of Clue that we’ve Mythicalized. This is an official licensed collaboration with Hasbro, the maker of Clue. But every single detail has been worked into our Mythical universe and there’s so much to tell you, the best thing to do is to just play it. We’re gonna devote an entire “More,” we’re gonna go into extra innings for you to play this version of Clue, which is our version today in “Good Mythical More.” There’s some updates to how the game is played, which make it even more fun, intriguing, and sometimes more sustained. Oh. There’s pewter in here too. Get it, MythicalSociety.com Third Degree membership. But all the rooms are in the Mythical studio. Yes! All the weapons are Mythical weapons. Yes! Everything. The microphone itself is a weapon. Yeah. Which gives me some ideas. This is rigatoni pomadaro… Pomodoro. Pomodoro. I love this. I love it. This is the spicy one, right? No. It’s not? That’s the arrabbiata. That’s okay, that didn’t make the cut. Okay, I’m still excited. This is a big noodle. I mean, you could drain a pond with these noodles, Rhett. You’re a civil engineer, I don’t have to tell you that. Oh yeah, it’s the first thing I was thinking when I saw these was, where’s a pond that I can drain with this noodle? If you’ve been following along the pattern this is from southern Italy. We’re all the way down. All the way down. We are. I like a big, fat noodle like that. I like a noodle… I like a noodle that can you just put right on your finger. Fingerable noodles. Ooh, with the sauce coming out the top I don’t love it. Okay, I mean that seemed like it was gonna go differently in my mind. Really? Like how would it have gone differently? I don’t know. It broke. Okay. If you would like to try that- I don’t really want to try that. I can tell you how it was. I grabbed it, I picked it up, I stuck my finger it, it was very warm inside. Oh, okay. And then it was harder to get my finger in than I thought it was gonna be, and then I pushed through and then it split. Remember when someone used to take our audio and animate it. Don’t do that. That’s what I was thinking about as I did that. I was doing it for them. This is very good, I’m sorry I ruined it for you. I wanted more flavor. As you might have heard earlier, I wanted it to be spicy. I thought it was gonna be spicy, but that’s the other one. Big noodle, bold flavor though. Not as bold as I want it to be. Six! Yep, I agree, six for me. We have arrived at our final noodle, this is haluski, popular all over eastern Europe, but most commonly associated with Poland. Never had it, never heard of it. But I will say I’ve heard just now that haluski is very popular in Polish-American communities in the US. It’s so popular in Pittsburgh that it is sometimes served at high school football concession stands. Oh, how did we miss this? I guess we haven’t been to Pittsburgh enough. Okay, I haven’t been to a high school football game in Pittsburgh. Got the sweetness of the onion and the cabbage. It’s got some pepper on it. Mm, mm. It’s different, isn’t it, dude? It is. The bacon is a welcomed feature. I could have used even more of the bacon. It feels like I’m at a Waffle House and they replaced my hash browns with noodles. And added cabbage? Yeah, and added cabbage. It’s like a Polish Waffle House. It’s very hearty. I do like it. I could see how, you know, if it was halftime in Pittsburgh. Yeah. This could really hit the spot. But it’s currently not halftime and we are not in Pittsburgh. I’m gonna give it a 10. No. Yeah, the more that I thought about what I was eating my experience kind of got less and less. ‘Cause I feel like I could replace- ‘Cause I’m a real onion fan. I could replace the cabbage with red sauce. Right. And I could replace the bacon with ground beef. Basically I’m just making spaghetti over here. What about a white sauce? We’re not gonna get a white sauce today. No cream sauce. Well, we did for the coche de pepe, whatever it is. It was kind of that. No Alfredo. Yeah, no Alfredo. No Alfredo today. Where’s Alfredo? Let’s replace this one with Alfredo. Yeah, yeah. We’ll do a clock wipe. Nope, can’t be arranged. We just heard that can’t be arranged. Not gonna happen. We’re gonna give this a four. Five. Let’s see what European noodles made your top three. Your top scoring European noodle dishes are Fideua, tonnarelli coche de pepe, and pappardelle bolognese. All right, so I have been told that Alfredo is more of an Italian-American invention. Okay. Not Italian, so that’s why it’s not here. Just a quick reminder, come back tomorrow, because we’re gonna be doing North American pasta dishes. We’re gonna be ranking those. Alfredo will not be a part of that either. ‘Cause it’s more of an Italian thing. So don’t come back for that. Don’t need to that eat again. I’m not tasting this again. Let’s get that out of here. This is awesome, but it’s not the robust- I mean, just to confirm. You know, I don’t think there’s gonna be too much deliberation here. It’s just so good. I can’t get to it. This is fun, this is special, but you can’t hang your life on it. So we have to- But you can hang your life on this, apparently. This is the best pasta that Europe has to offer! Whoo-ee! Right there next to Dan Dan. It’s pappardelle bolognese. Congratulations, Italy. You pulled it off. Thanks for commenting and clicking that bell. You know what time it is. I’m Stephen. I’m Elena. I’m Anita. And it’s all our birthdays today and we’re celebrating in Greece. And it’s time to spin the Wheel Of Mythicality. Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Happy triple birthday. Three way birthday. I know what I’m getting you. I’m not gonna tell you. Uncomfortable close up. Why aren’t you gonna tell those- Why are you not willing to get closer? ‘Cause I’m right in the middle. Oh, okay. I want to be in the middle. All right, you’re not comfortable with getting close? Is that what makes it an uncomfortable close up? I wanna meet in the middle. Okay, all right. I mean, I can’t get any closer to you right now. Well, I’m just saying, I’m not comfortable and I could tell that you weren’t comfortable. I wanted you to tell those people what you were gonna give them. Because you said you weren’t gonna give them what you were gonna give them. I’m not telling. Click the top link to watch us play Mythical Clue. Sign up for Third Degree now to get the newest collectible, the Mythical Clue game at MythicalSociety.com