Do beautifully designed products actually work well? Let’s talk about that. Good Mythical Morning. When you need to buy a new product, do you opt for form or function? Beauty or performance? Can a gorgeous appliance actually get the job done, or is it only about the aesthetics? Now listen, I know that beauty and performance can exist in a woman, and that’s why I’m a happily married man and not a performative male. Okay. But can both- That’s a great performance then. But can both exist in a toaster? Not that women are like toasters, because I wouldn’t… I mean, I don’t even why I even brought that up. I’m not a performative male. Okay, boys. Before we find out about the toasters, this first round we have a beautiful table lighter from Ri-Ri-Ku for $195, up against an ugly disgusting tabletop lighter from Vertigo for 31.96. Your job’s to test both and figure out which one is actually better. Look at that. We have some birthday candles on standby for you. Let me just tell you a couple of things about this. Tabletop lighters… Tabletop lighter, with a built in ashtray for the smokers. Look at that. Those are not deviled eggs, although they do look like them. This is just… Strange. This is resin. And it’s got cherries built into it. And yes, you can take this- Suspended. Yeah, suspended, and you can still use it like that. No, no, no. That’s not how you do it. Stop, stop. Put that down. Yeah, you can- It’s a tabletop lighter. Okay, hold on. But what if it’s a birthday cake? Well, I’m just telling you that a tabletop lighter, you’re supposed to just leave it down there and then you’re just gonna do that. And then you insert the… And then you put ’em in the cake, I guess. Oh, it’s ‘eaking. It’s ‘eaking fuel. Stop that. Hold on. That’s not me. That’s not you? Look. Hold on. It’s not me. Just quit doing it for a second, let me just see. So it’s not working. But it is beautiful. It’s so beautiful. It makes me a little bit hungry. It’s so thick. Maybe if we turn it on its side. Nope. But that’s not what it’s supposed to do. I mean, it works upside- Ow! It works upside down. Yeah. And then you put your… You just put that there, you know, that’s your- And then you can put it out if you want to. So it’s not working properly. It’s very heavy duty. It would start a conversation. It’s not sexy. I find cherries sexy. Well, okay, there’s cherries. Suspended cherries. I think it starts a conversation. I feel like I… I have become a little bit more appreciative of form as I’ve gotten older, you know- Why is that? Having a wife who is an interior designer, who actually cares about those things. Because I tend to be a little bit too focused on function. Just like, “What is it supposed to do? It’s supposed to light things. Well, it should just light things.” This thing will just… But it can bring… It can bring some light into your life. Like you may be able to flawlessly light somebody’s cigarette if they ask for it, or birthday candles or whatever. This thing is huge. But you gonna do it in style. You ask me for a light and I come in with a cake? Come on. Well, I think you wanna leave it out at all times and just, you know… Oh, hold on, you can… Oh, I thought you pressed the other side. It’s working for me. Hold on, keep going. Working for me. Working for me. Look at that. I think we fixed it when we turned it over. I think we got some air… We got some air bubbles. Too good. Now this thing costs $195. This one costs $32. And it has a triple jet. It’s wind resistant. Perfect for medium to large cigars. Look at that. It looks like the back of a jet. It’s hard to look at though. You know? It doesn’t bring me any joy. It’s not ugly. It doesn’t make me hungry. It’s brutalist. It’s not sexy. Oh, oh! And it doesn’t even work! Yep, there it goes. Takes a few tries. Look at that. Now I don’t know how well this would- Look at it! I don’t know how well this would travel. You know what I’m saying? I don’t know if you could take it out to the beach. Yeah, why did they bury a- That’s the only place I smoke. An acrylic cake out here in the beach. That’s the only place I smoke is the beach. I don’t smoke anywhere. No, we’re not smokers. And this tends to promote smoking because it’s so pleasing. You’d wanna leave this out and be like, well, I wanna use it. I wanna burn something. And then maybe inhale it and hurt my lungs. So you’re coming around to it. No, I’m saying it’s too tempting. Okay. And it’s expensive. I think it’s beautiful, but it doesn’t travel well. I wouldn’t put this in my man purse. And it’s $195. We’re gonna go with the beast. We’ll go with the beast. Next up, we found the prettiest pour over coffee maker we could find. Maeve by Anthropologie for $20. And paired up against the most run of the mill, hideously, disgustingly ugly one we could find from Polydremio for 22 bucks. I feel like you’re poisoning the well a little bit. You know? Okay. This one’s not- This one’s actually cheaper. The pretty one’s cheaper. By a dollar. $2. We took French. What does that say? L’art du cafe. So this is the art of the cafe? This is coffee art. The art of coffee. The art of coffee. The art of coffee. It does please me. It looks like a coffee mug in and of itself with a hole in the bottom. So this is gonna be a disappointment to numb skulls like me, who show up at your house and grab this down. And it’s just start to pour coffee into it. Right, it’s not for numb skulls. In fact, both of these, I mean, if you are a poor over coffee person, you are already pretty sophisticated. Do you know what I’m saying? Yeah. I mean this is a certain type of person. Chase does this. Mm-hmm. He’s pretty sophisticated. Well, you think he’s performative. Talk about performative. He’s the poster child of performative maleness. I think this is for purists. I think this is for… Like, you would never- In general- You would never be caught dead with a Keurig, right? This process. Right, a pod. You’re not a pod man. It’s also for people with patience. Right. Yeah. We don’t have that. This one comes apart. It’s easy to wash ’cause it… We can wash this. Yeah, you could wash it. This has French on it. Maybe you don’t have to wash this part, you just wash this part. And you can also use it as a funnel. But there’s something about this- Or other things. This is hand painted. You show up in the morning to your own kitchen and you remember what you’re doing. You are performing the art of coffee. Do you know what I’m saying? I just put… I tried to wet that down, but I put way too much water. Yeah, you just wanna do a nice little dribble to wet that down. And then we’re gonna put the coffee in there. Yes. Because this is… It’s meditative, right? And so the aesthetic quality, I would think, of this, is somewhat important. I like to meditate while drinking the coffee, not while making the coffee. But I would also think that people who are in this world, they might have a minimalist approach. I feel like I’m doing art. So I just don’t care for this. It’s a bit too grandma- I don’t know if it’s for us. Anthropologie. Christie will go for all that stuff, but sometimes it gets a little grandma. I think this is grandma. I think this looks cooler. Wood. There’s wood. I do like wood. Now might be a good time to tell everyone watching that we do have writers on this show. And when I was saying something was disgustingly, hideously terrible looking… I was reading the words on the page. You’re not taking credit for it? You think people are coming at you in the comments about it? Well, I just didn’t want people to think what my personal taste was. You were so mean to that… Pour over thing. But I will say that each one of these beautiful things has been curated by a specific writer who’s hoping that you don’t like any of them, I would guess, so they can take it so that she may take them home. I am not tempted in any way to start this process. If it’s more than just pushing a button in the morning, I am incapable of it until I have the thing that comes after the… As a result of pushing the button. You know what I’m saying? Because it’s just good enough. I mean, the machine is good enough for you. It’s great enough. So we’re rejecting both of these. Yeah, both of these suck. Brittany, you can have both of them. We are refusing to answer the question. Abstain. Abstaining, yes. The moment you’ve all been waiting for, the toaster round. We have the Bistro Tile x Haden Four-Slice Toaster from Anthropologie for $128, up against a repulsively plain Black and Decker four slice toaster for $41.99. I can’t even look directly at it. This is a sexy toaster. Is it? This reminds me of several women that I had crushes on in high school that had these little butterflies tattooed just above their butt crack. Oh, okay. We would go- They call it the Bistro Tile design. Don’t you remember those trips down to the lake? Be like, who’s got a lower back butterfly tattoo this week? So shove them down. We are on similar settings. Now we’re gonna let these things toast. I mean… As it’s toasting, you can just enjoy the beauty. Oh, the butterfly lights up. Okay, we got a little smoke coming outta mine. Whoa, it’s hot. We definitely have smokage, None happening over here. Smells like… That smells disturbing. Maybe you gotta burn off the… The initial burn. The initial burn. I thought you were gonna say that the prettier toaster has some hips to it. It does. I do like it. Yeah. And it makes you feel like you might be in a nice subway station, where it always smells good down there. Oh, this one’s having the burn off too. It’s just taking a while. Do they make pretty tiles in the… What do they call it? The tube, in England? Is that what this is supposed to be reminiscent of? Signature Bistro Tile design. That’s all I know. And look at these nice blue lights. But it is decaled on Haden’s iconic British toaster. Yes. So maybe this is a British… Well it is a British toaster, yes. And this Black and Decker is totally American. Shiny. Keep it in the cabinet when you’re not using it. Don’t leave it out. Again, if you’re the kind of person- It looks like your fridge. That wants someone to ask you a question about your appliances. Oh… Tell me about your toaster. You’re gonna pay $128 just to have that conversation? Some people are desperate. Listen, some people are desperate for conversation. Come in to my kitchen and notice my toaster. If I had this and I also had that cake lighter- I just think- People would never leave my kitchen. Buying this and putting it on your counter in order to make an aesthetic statement, you’re barking up the wrong tree. You know, you gotta think wholistically. What tree? I know you can’t… Everybody can’t just rip out their entire kitchen and remodel it. What if this is complimentary? But just adding this is not gonna do it. Of course, you gotta make it match. You think your fridge looks like that? My fridge looks like this. I’m preferring this. That’s such a cold, sterile environment. What are you doing in there? Making meth? Huh? Well, I’m… Oh! And mine works faster than yours. I’m making cereal. Well, we both put ’em at halfway and halfway for you is a lot sooner… I wouldn’t put a fork down in there. You can put a fork… Why would you do that? Why don’t you take it into the bath with you while you’re at it? I don’t wanna touch this hot toast. Look how perfect that is. How beautiful is that toast? I’m toasting at half mast over here. Nothing’s coming up. Use the fork. Just use the fork. Use the little… The handle for the toaster and put it up. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. I’ve never used a toaster. I have a toaster oven now. Okay, here’s the real- I don’t like toast. I don’t believe in it. It makes the bread hard. Okay. I’m gonna prove to you that I can tell which one of these is from the pretty toaster. Take both plates, I’ll turn around. Mix these up. I can taste beauty. Okay, turn it back around. Which one is more beautiful? Well, I wanna taste it. Oh. Hard bread. Nothing on it. What about for them, have you got any… This is the pretty toast. This is the pretty toast. You were right. You were right. And it tastes better. But you looked at the toast before. No. What are you talking about? I’m sorry. This is an ugly toaster. It’s ugly. Well, unless you’re a grandma. Okay. I feel like I have to take a stand for the beauty. This, I believe, is beautiful. It’s a conversation starter. It makes better toast than I was able to tell. That was the toast based on taste alone. So I’m saying beauty. Fine. You hear us talk about the Mythical Society from time to time. It’s a place where you can enjoy original ad free content and- Exclusive stuff. We like to give you a little taste of that every once in a while. And we do that on the Mythical More channel, Good Mythical More channel, every once in a while. We just did it recently with a little fan fiction theater. Head over there and watch that. You can also search a little bit deeper and find us camping and doing some other things. Yes, we give you a taste, so you can see if you want the full meal. It’s beautiful. At mythicalsociety.com. And functional. Okay, next up we have the Crosley Rondo Retro Bluetooth Speaker for $24.95, versus the hideous JBL Go 4 for $49.95. Look at this. It’s like a little radio. It’s so cute. It’s like I have a little radio. Can you believe that? You would think that this was a little radio. And none of the buttons do anything. Well, the buttons don’t do anything because it’s Bluetooth. What? You hear that noise? That noise means it’s ready to play music. Okay. ♪ I’m so tight, so stressed ♪ ♪ Need someone to rub my neck ♪ ♪ Oh yeah ♪ ♪ That’s the spot ♪ ♪ I like the way you work my muscle knots ♪ ♪ Put some oil on my back ♪ ♪ Give me a two handed attack ♪ ♪ I had a really hard week ♪ ♪ And I want you to rub my feet ♪ ♪ I’m so stiff ♪ ♪ So stressed ♪ Carrying it on your shoulder. All right, pause it. ♪ Oh yeah ♪ The buttons on the front don’t work. ♪ I like the way you work my booty knots ♪ How do you… How do you… I don’t think you can. There’s no pause, play. Chase is controlling it. It’s all from your phone. Huh. So how did that sound? Crappy. It didn’t sound great. Crosley- But it looked incredible. Is the company that makes those record players that everybody bought at like Urban. That has like a sneaker inside. Crap. The little suitcases. Yeah, the little cute, totally crappy… They’re a little bit crappy. You’re right. But they’re aesthetic, they’re aesthetic. But it is the cheaper one. You’re paying twice as much money for this one. Let me turn it on. Oh, that classic JBL sound. Yeah, it knows what it’s doing. Oh. And now we’ve connected to Bluetooth. And it’s waterproof and dustproof. Who needs that? All right. Hit it, Chase. ♪ So tight ♪ ♪ So stressed ♪ ♪ Need someone to rub my neck ♪ ♪ Oh yeah ♪ ♪ That’s the spot ♪ ♪ I like the way you work my muscle knots ♪ ♪ Put some oil on my back. ♪ ♪ Give me a two handed attack ♪ ♪ I had a really hard week ♪ ♪ And I want you to rub my feet ♪ ♪ I’m so stiff ♪ ♪ So stressed ♪ ♪ Need someone to rub my chest ♪ A lot more base. ♪ Oh yeah ♪ ♪ That’s the spot ♪ ♪ I like the way you work my booty knots ♪ Look at that. Now, if I do that on this. Yep. Yeah. Now play from… See if that’ll play again. ♪ I’m so tight ♪ Sounds a little muddy. Sounds wet. ♪ Rub my neck ♪ ♪ Oh yeah ♪ Well, sorry Brittany. Now play this one. ♪ So tight ♪ ♪ So stressed ♪ ♪ Need someone to above my neck ♪ ♪ Oh yeah ♪ ♪ That’s the spot ♪ ♪ I like the way you work my muscle knots ♪ Listen to this over here. Turn that one off. Oh God. It’s like the song is drowning. I mean, I drowned this puppy and it didn’t sound as great- It’s not a puppy. While the water… Okay? It didn’t sound great while the water was going on it, but hit it again. ♪ Two handed attack ♪ It’s back. Take it on the river. Take it on the river, y’all. ♪ And I want you to rub my feet ♪ ♪ I’m so stiff ♪ Pause it. That’s good. Okay, this one’s easy. I hate to admit it. You gotta have this for your river flow. We’re going with the beast. For our final round we have a gorgeous Hello Kitty waffle maker for $36.99, versus a repulsive Dash mini waffle maker for $12.99. Oh my word, y’all. It stinks. Look at this. I have a Hello Kitty mini waffle maker, and yes, it’s a Hello Kitty that you can put right on your waffle. What do you got over there young man? I have… Nothing! You have nothing. I have little waffle mountains. The little mountains. Okay. Always use non-stick spray. Oh, you didn’t get… You missed parts. Yes. Okay. And then… I don’t want you to sabotage my waffle. I’ve seen people doing this in hotel lobbies. Oh, I’ve been there. And then I just pour it in there and then it needs to go a little bit more than flat. I think you just wanna fill it, right, like that? And then close it. Ow! You wanna make sure you don’t touch it. Says hot surface right there. But it was upside down. You wanna make sure that you don’t touch it, like my friend did. Spray some Pam on your finger if you burn it. Now this Hello Kitty waffle maker, which is called the perfect little kawaii companion. And that doesn’t mean you’re gonna take it to Kauai. That means that it’s cute. It’s cute in Japanese. And it’s $37. My little friend’s ugly little toaster over here, that’s very dangerous, that he burned himself on. It’s $13. I remember when Stevie told us that. Thank you Link. This is a steal, but this is ugly. You gotta hide this thing. I think you need to hide this one too. But if that kitty comes out on the waffle looking good, that’s gonna make all the difference. It’s starting to smell real good. How do we know when it’s done? Does the light come on? ‘Cause it’s… Oh, the light’s on. When the light goes off? My light’s off. Is it done? Are we good? How do we know when it’s done? Oh, my light’s on. How do you make waffle? Oh my god, that’s so beautiful. Do you see how perfect that is? And then what are you doing? You’re picking up the whole thing? I don’t need your help. Ooh, and now flip it. Flip it and rip. That’s a little… Okay. Okay. There’s no kitty on that side. But there’s a kitty on that side and she’s adorable! And what about me? Let’s see what I got. That made a perfect waffle. Ow. Quit touching the metal part. It’s so hot. And then how did… That’s incredible. How do you get it out? It’s so fresh. I want this. And then with this one, watch this. Let me show you what’s on the other side of this one. It’s so fluffy. Look at that. The same. Does yours have a kitty on it? Mine has deeper holes. Yeah, I think, Rhett, you made like a pancake hybrid situation. Yours is very undercooked. You should have waited. I did it when it said to do it. I mean, if we’re tasting it to see a difference, it’s the same recipe. One has a cat saying hello. The other one just has little inverted mountains. I mean, I like to have the big divots on my waffle, let’s be honest. ‘Cause I like my butter and syrup to go in there and have a place to hide. The kitty is the only reason to get this. But you could do it on this side. But you want kitty up. I heard that the kitty is not a cat. Don’t you want a kitty up? I heard that’s a girl not a cat. Well, then why is she furry with whiskers? And called Kitty? You can’t just make things up, okay? You can’t just say that she’s a a little girl when she’s obviously a cat. I’m sorry. What if this is the only way to get a little girl to eat waffles? Well then we should use it. I’m glad you didn’t say, “Well then she can starve.” Are we beautying and or beasting? I was really impressed with how pretty that was. But the deeper divots are compelling. I like waffles. I love a hot waffle. We’re gonna go with beast again. Because we don’t… We’re not fans of Hello Kitty. No. We’re fans of deep divots in waffles to hold stuff. So Brittany, you can take this one home too. You’re really scoring today. Except for abstaining… I think we went… No, we went with beauty on the toasters because that was a beautiful toaster and you know it. You’re right, I know it. Thanks for commenting and sharing this video. You know what time it is. Hi. Hi. I’m Justin. And I’m Toni. And we just got married… In Banff, Canada. And it’s time to spin the wheel of Mythicality. Congratulations Banffers. Are they in like a restroom? I hope so. With a bear poster behind them. All the bears in Canada wear flannels. You know that. Yep. All right, we got a little unsolicited advice. Alexander, listen up Alexander. Not Alex. Alexander. We’re talking to you. You like to go by the whole thing, we know. Should you go by Alex or Xander? I didn’t even read that. Yeah, you should have read that. Yeah, yeah, you should definitely stop going by Alexander because everybody thinks it’s ridiculous and they won’t tell you straight to your face. Xander is almost as performative as pour over coffee. Go with Alex. Alex. Keep it simple. Click the top link to watch us rate posts from mildly infuriating in Good Mythical More. Take a special look at Mythical Society exclusives on Good Mythical More now. Link bites back a gasp as Rhett slides the other hand along his waist. He is surprised how well they fit together and how at ease he feels in Rhett’s arms.