How expensive is the taste of an all star comedian? Let’s talk about that. Good Mythical Morning. And please welcome our guest, he’s one of the stars of the new movie, Ella McCay, which is in theaters right now, and he has a new standup special Kumail Nanjiani: Night Thoughts premiering on Hulu in one week. It’s Kumail Nanjiani. Yeah. Good to see you, man. Nice. Oh my God. Thanks for having me, very excited about this. I’m back. We are so glad that you’re here. Um, where is Emily, your North Carolinian wife? Oh, she couldn’t make it today. She had some, we got a new kitten three days ago. Really? And we’re not, we’re trying to not leave her alone in the house. But she’s really taken over our lives in three days. Okay. Do you have any. That’s a good excuse. Other kittens or cats to show the kitten the way? Well, thanks for bringing that up. Our cat of who was 17 years old, passed away. Oh, oh, come on, Link. A month ago. Come on, Link. It’s not a good start. We moved on very quickly. You just, oh, okay. So the wound has been healed. You know what? I miss her very much. It does help, another thing that looks a lot like her. That’s, that’s smaller. Yeah. Yeah. And what’s the new kitten’s name. Right now we’re auditioning a bunch of different names. This is food themed, so that’s good, my previous cat was named Bagel. I talk about him in my, in my special, Night Thoughts, quite a bit. My new one I wanted to stick. I don’t like animals with human names. It’s confusing. Oh. So I, her name is Chikoo. Which is a Pakistani fruit that I really like that you actually cannot get here. Ah, Chikoo uh, the English term for it is Sapodilla. It’s a really great fruit. Find it, eat it. Don’t eat my cat. We’re gonna have some today actually. You have Chikoo? Along with a lot of, yes we do. Right, right. That would be incredible. Three people just ran out the door to go to World Market. It’s not gonna be there. Sorry. It’s gonna take a while. They, um, uh, I’ve had a hankering for Chikoo and so my wife and I drove to 10 different Indian grocery stores, found, uh, Chikoo ice cream, and I have three tubs of it in my freezer right now. Okay. Well tell her we miss her. I miss her. It’s time for Naked Foods. Naked Kumail Nanjiani edition. Naked. You ever say naked so many times it doesn’t sound like a word anymore. Naked. Naked. Naked. Naked. Naked. Naked. Naked. Naked. Okay, boys, throughout today’s game. Don’t look at me when you say that. Kumail’s favorite foods will be served at low, mid, and fancy price levels. Each round, you’ll all pick your favorite, and by the end we’ll find out how expensive your taste buds are. Up first, these are burgers. These are burgers. No cheese. No cheese. I want, no, I like no cheese on my burgers. Wow. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I won’t like, is this, here we go. Let’s do it. Well, you can keep it over there. I just needed to be able to do a grabby grabby. This is a thick boy. That’s a tall one. So you’re a purist. It’s not that you don’t like cheese, it’s that you don’t like cheese on your burger. That’s correct. That is correct. What are you doing? You don’t like tomatoes? No. Me neither. Yes! I don’t like tomatoes. Take it off, baby. It’s just a wet fruit on food. Thank you. Thank you. No? Yes. Alright. Feel free to take it off. Hold on, hold on. Wow. This fruit on food. Exactly. Now you’re. And plus the taste. Now you’re affecting the other burger. No, no. Oh, it’s fine. I’ll take that piece. Yep. Yep. You know what you want extra tomato? No. He always asks me that. No, just because I like tomato, I don’t want double tomato that throws off the ratio. Yeah. I think one tomato throws off the ratio. All right. Might be a good burger now. Hmm hmm. Definitely not a smash burger, ’cause that thing is thick. But it’s very good meat and very good bread. That’s a good burger. Hmm. Okay, moving along. But what about this, this slim fellow here? Not a lot of meat here. This one is shorty, it looks smashy. Is it smashy? Oh, you didn’t see and you didn’t take the tomatoes off that time. The only thing I like, I, I don’t like less than tomatoes is getting my hands dirty and so. It’s true, I don’t like. Yeah, he loves getting his hands dirty. You are a man after my own heart though. Um. If I could have someone remove tomato for me. Okay. That is not a bad burger. It’s not like an exceptional burger. No. In my opinion. Yeah. It could really use some cheese. But I think the floor, yeah. You know what, I got a, we got part ways on the cheese, man. I do do, I do agree with you. We got. Um, it’s got, it’s giving tasty freeze to me. I will say, uh, uh, the floor for burgers, in my opinion is fairly high, so even like a bad burger to me is pretty good. Yeah. Alright. This has got some serious onion on it. Like we’re talking onion that covers the entire thing. Oh yeah. This is like a lot of onion. All right, here we go. Red onion too, that if that means anything to you guys. Yes. Thinking. Pretty tasty. They’re thinking over there. There’s something McDonald’s-y about this one, even though it’s obviously not McDonald’s. And in in a bad way. Uh uh. Like a McDeluxe. Yeah. There’s something about the patty itself that. Like the arch deluxe, remember that. I do. I never ate that. Never ate it. All right. Okay, favorites in three, two, one. It’s gotta be over here. This is a great burger. This one A good burger. This one was just bad, in my opinion. You thought that was bad? Yes. I didn’t think it was bad. I did not think it was bad. It was McDonald’s-y. It was a little basic. I do love smash burgers, but that’s like a good, like bistro burger with the char on it. Good char. That’s a good word. Good char. Okay, so the biggest upset this whole round was that the three of you didn’t understand when you were eating the burger in the middle, that’s an In-N-Out burger. What? Yes. Oh. Yes. That might be only the third or fourth time I’ve had an In-N-Out burger. How did that. I’ve had thousands. I How did it slip by while you didn’t? Cheese? That’s just not with cheese. Don’t. I don’t, yeah. Yeah. I always have cheese on it. That’s what happened. I also get animal style, so. So that’s our low price point option. That’s crazy. For 3.75, the last one that was McDonald’s-y and Link didn’t like is our mid price point option from Tam O Shanter for 19 bucks, which means that all three of you chose our fancy option from Mistral for 32 bucks and there is a meal of fortune under that plate and whoever’s first to get it gets the prize. I get it. Yep. Yeah. Yep. Seems like Rhett wants you to have it. Yep, yep. You know we are here for you 24/7. 555-449-8729. And when you say numbers here, it automatically goes. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah, they call it, yeah. Ooh, you’ve reached Sexy Triple A, where Triple A stands for Ass Ass Ass. What? Ah, I’m sorry. Press one to speak to a super sexy agent. Press two to speak to a super horny agent, press three to hear these options again. So you can’t have someone who’s sexy and horny. Those are mutually exclusive options. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta pick someone, either sexy, who’s not that into it. Yeah. Or someone who’s into it and their appearance their… We don’t know. Yeah. One or two. It’s your choice. I’m gonna pick, I wanna pick the person who wants to be there, so I’ll do, do horny. Okay. Two. Oh, you’ve pressed two. Looks like you could use our special service where we shine your truck nuts. We’ll do that, big boy. Or maybe you’re locked out of your car at Bob’s Big Boy. We’ll get you big boy. Uh, at this point we could just go to the next round. Um, um, this is Lamb Biryani. Mmhmm. You made a, you made a choice. Have you guys ever had it yet? I have had it, and I love it. Yeah. Can you grab Kumail a fork. Oh, there’s a fork for you. Do you have a fork? I have one, but we gotta wait to talk about this second one. Let’s go ahead and eat the first one. Yeah, there’s like, no denying that an animal died for that. I will also say that Kumail’s favorite is up here on the lineup this round. Oh my God. Does that feel like pressure, Kumail? I feel pretty, I feel pretty confident about which one is my favorite. Well, this one is already good. Now, Biryani is my favorite food in the whole world. When I was a kid. Hmm. My nickname was Kumail Biryani. It genuinely was, and my dad for was like, you know when you were like a little kid, we had like a party and we found you at like two years old, you were sitting inside the Biryani pot eating with your hands from the inside. And I wasn’t, it wasn’t until I was like 12 or 13 that I found out he just made up that story. Oh. Because you were like, it kind of tracks. It was totally a lot, but. That one is really good. Very tender. Yeah, that’s really good. Really good. Now this one, speaking of, I, I see there’s a bone here. Have you seen, uh, tendernism? Tendernism? Yeah. You seen that guy? What is that. Rhett show him. Okay, well, so this is, there’s a guy, he’s somewhere at a barbecue restaurant somewhere in Southern California. He makes Tiktoks where he picks things up and the meat falls off, and then. He reacts in, like show him how he reacts. This is what he does every time. Well, oh, this is not gonna be tendernism. No. Just assume. Yeah. Knock, knock off. If he did fall off, there we go. Knock that off. Knock it off. Oh, keep going. Tendernism. Yeah. And then all then he, he’s, he’s like, he, he can’t. Yeah, he can’t contain himself when that happens. He just, he can’t sit still when the meat falls off the bone. I mean, it’s, and he says, that’s tendernism. Look at this. This looks incredible. I mean, do you get charged by weight? Because I don’t want to be charged for bone, and now that this is falling off the bone, I don’t know how to, okay, I got it. How about that? How about that? The interesting thing is this is clearly like, more. Uh, say the word and try, have it not be racist. Okay. I, I’ll, I’m, yeah, take that back. It feels like it’s fancier because the meat is on the bone, but there’s something about the fact that this was like cut and cooked together with it. You know, this is tenderer meat, but there’s something about the flavor of that meat. And there’s no green peas in that one with the bone. I don’t know what you’re talking about. This to me is better than the first one. This one. Well, what do you know. You weren’t actually in the pot as a kid Kumail. That was a lie, dude. All right, and now we’re looking forward to this one, aren’t we? I mean, interesting. It’s very, very good. But you prefer that. Well, the individual piece of meat that I got in this one had was like seasoned all around, whereas I kind of got like just really good lamb on it. Oh really? You didn’t get the, the masala. Okay. Let’s see. Now this one to my eye looks a little drier than the other two. To my mouth, is a little drier. Don’t get your hopes up. Ain’t nobody voting for this one. It’s not that it’s horrible. You know what it is? It’s a, that’s like an airplane Biryani. Like, every now and then you’re, you know, you’re flying somewhere and there’s special options. You’re like, oh my God, they have Biryani, I gotta get that. And that’s what you get. On a plane, thrilled that that’s what you get. I bet that, I bet this is great on a plane. It hits on a plane. Mm-hmm. Alright, I think, I think we know where we are going 3, 2, 1. I’m, I’m, I’m gonna have to come here just for the flavor of the meat. And I gotta do that too, Kumail. Okay. I just gotta tell you something about that was cohesive. I’ll just tell you it’s, because this looks like the Biryani that I grew up with. We didn’t use any peas in a Biryani. Nothing is supposed to be healthy in a Biryani. There should be nothing green in there, only stuff that is bad for you. Alright? Okay, so Rhett and Link, you’ve chosen our low price point option from Anar Indian for $16. And Kumail, you chose your favorite, our fancy option from Biryani Kebab House. For 23.92. And the last one y’all did not like is our mid price point option from Assam Indian Kitchen for 1995. I very much stand behind my decision and you are both wrong. Well. We’ll accept it. The good news. We will accept it. Is that, Kumail, the card underneath there is only for you. No one else can have it. Yep. Hold on. I don’t know. Maybe I could just, okay, I got it. I mean, I could spill all this for the sake of comedy. No, no, I got it. But here we go. But that’s, that’s just a little too easy, right? All right. I would never do something like that. Oh God. Look at that. You can take it home. I wanna marry it. Yeah, give him a doggy bag. Looking for something, give us a call. 555-671-0003. Oh, new number. New number. Better not be someone trying to make out with me again. Oh, you’ve reached the sexy dog groomer hotline. Oh. Press one to roll over. Press two to beg, press three to sit on my face. Oh my God. This is too much. Wow. I mean, this is, uh, I’m, I, you know, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that that was what would happen on the number. Push any button you want, but maybe not. Maybe not three. I’m going for three. He’s pressed three. Ooh, ruff ruff. It sounds like you need someone to express their anal glams. P-U got me going. You can hang up any time. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Or maybe you’re just aching for a non anesthetic, I said non ass-thetic teeth cleaning, bichon frise. I, there’s a couple things going on here. I thought the non aesthetic was gonna be a pun on Naan ’cause we’re eating Pakistani Indian food. Yep. No. It wasn’t, it was just about sex. And um, I also, if I’m sitting on his face, I wanted the words to be mumbled. Yep. Yep. Missed opportunity. Muffled. I wanted the words to be muffled. Mumble it in post. Today is the last day to order something from Mythical.com and get it in time for Christmas. So get on it today. Yes, and also today you can get free domestic standard shipping. Free, just today. Just today. Okay. Today is a big day. Plus check out the Mythical quarter zip. Wow. How far does that zipper go? A quarter of the way down. Yes, get it all. Mythical.com. Get it all. This is Doro Tibs. Oh yes. Doro. Incredible. Doro tibs. Yeah. I mean this, it’s Ethiopian. They know they know how to do food. Yes. Yes. Yes. And And I know that you’re supposed to take some of this. Yeah. And then, then use that as kind of a thing to grab things. Yes. So I’m gonna do that. Oh God, it’s so good. I keep wanting to go to Ethiopian restaurant, but you know, I will say when I go to restaurants, I’ll see you at a restaurant. Oh yeah. We’ll see each other at a restaurant. We’ve run into each other at restaurants more than one restaurant. Me and you’ve seen each other. I, I’m, I’m out there man. Uhhuh. I’m out there eating at food other people have cooked for me. I’m following you. I will say, so far I found find the spice level of that to be a little lacking. Yes. It’s not, it’s not hitting hard enough. It’s not hitting hard enough. All right. Let’s try this one. This one looks like it’s a little bit sort of juicier. Every time I see you at a restaurant, I speak to you. Mm-hmm. Yep. There hasn’t been one time that I’ve seen you at a restaurant and I haven’t spoken to you. Well, I’ve hidden from you, so you don’t know. That’s, that’s what I’m getting at times. How? How many times have you seen me and not spoken to me. At least four more times than you talk to me. Right. I always feel like I’m the one making the opening salvo. I’m always excited to see you at restaurants. I mean, you could, you could come up to me once, Kumail, you know, one of the times, you can come up to me. No, I think we should keep this bit going. I think you come up to me. Okay. Little more flavor. Little more flavor. A little more flavor. Yeah. Quite different from that one. It’s very tomatoey. It’s very tomatoey. Yeah. I don’t know, actually. I don’t know. I, I kind of want this flavor profile with that spice level, but let’s, let’s, let’s try the next one. Mm-hmm. I like the, I like the rip and dip of it all, you know? Yeah. I’m from a rip and dip culture. This is like very natural to me. Hmm. Alright. Okay. I, I’m, I’m ready. 3, 2, 1. See, look, Rhett and I we’re on the same page today. You didn’t, even though you said it was spicy. Spicy. I wanted, I wanted this one to be spicy, er, but I like, the arrangement. Okay, again, Rhett and Link, you have chosen the low price point option from Rosalind’s. We’re just cheap. For 19.95. And again, Kumail, you have chosen the fancy option from Aunt Yvette’s Kitchen for $28. You know what’s gonna happen. You know what that means? You know what’s gonna happen? Oh yeah. Here we go. Uh, wait, where’s this one from? Aunt Yvette’s Kitchen. And this one. Uh, the middle one is our mid price point option from Industry Cafe and Jazz for $23. Jazz. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Little too jazzy. They’re like really casting a wide net. We have Ethiopian food and jazz. Yeah. You know what? Focus on one. True. Call now. You won’t regret it. I bet I will. 555-287-1188. Hi, Kumail. Oh God. You’ve reached sexy poison control. Press one for a list of what’s safe to swallow. Press two if you’ve been licking things you shouldn’t. Press three if you’ve been bitten by a big, sick, poisonous snake. Uh, one please. Oh, you’ve pressed one. It sounds like you’ve got a battery stuck up your anus that you can’t get out. You’re bad. If it’s AAA battery, press one. Well, you guys, the escalation that skipped a couple steps. Yeah, I did. Yeah. Yeah. Really went from like A to F. If it’s a double A battery, press two. If it’s a C battery, press three. What type of battery is it? I It’s one of the square ones. It’s like a. It’s a nine volt. Yeah, it’s like a fire alarm battery. That is, that’s a problem. It’s a fire alarm. That’s gonna be a problem. You like you, You said nine volt. Why don’t you. This explains why my house is on fire. That’s where the battery is. See my anus is square. Um, alright. Is there a nine volt option? Mm-hmm. All right. I’ll go with that, four. Naughty boy. I want you carbon monox-inside me. Oh my. You know what I like? ’cause I be, they prepped me for the show. They were like, the show’s not really that dirty. I, that’s what I thought. Yeah. Well, I don’t think he means anything by it. Yeah. No. Hang up. Yes. Hang up. This is key lime pie. Ooh. Strong choice, my friend. Oh my God, this is my favorite of the pies. Uh, and, and by visual I already know which one I think I’m gravitating to. Well, this one’s like, sweating in a very attractive way. I think that’s the one that I’m most excited about, is it’s got, like, you know. You go for it. If you want, you want the tip, whatever you want. Or in the back you want, maybe you go hit it from the. What did you say to me? Whichever, whichever one that you want. It’s just, it is just up to you. Is this your. Yeah, I want the tip. Okay. Um, I like that it has a thicker crust. I, because of that, I. Why is it that color isn’t, there’s nothing green in it, guys. Am I missing something? In lime. What does the outside of a lime look like? What color is a lime? Uh, gr. It’s green. Yeah. There you go. What? That’s why there’s green stuff. Oh, you’re saying it should be green? It’s not green, right? It’s, it’s brown. It looks like butterscotch. The really green key lime pies have food coloring in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is natural dude. The meat, the meat of the lime isn’t actually green. It’s actually that color. Okay. I was hoping for a little more tang on this. To be completely honest with you. I love the crust. The crust is great. I did also want a big, I want like a little, oh, you need that little bite, you know? Yeah. You wanna feel it like in your lower back. Mm-hmm. Key lime boys over here, geeking out. Now look at this, this has got little. I can tell you if it’s actually, that’s how Link knows that it’s a key lime pie. The little green dots, they put that on there. It’s like the color. And what are those? They’re little limes, dude. That’s a, that’s a miniature lime. Little teeny limes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Very expensive. Hmm. That’s got a little bit more of the classic bite to it, but not quite the crust. Oh. But. It’s more limey. The goop of it is really good. Yeah. Really, really good. Mm-hmm. You going in for another bite? This is one of the best. This is your crust bite. It does have that like, Ooh. Uhhuh. Yep. Now this one just looks like a little cheesecake. This, this looks like something you found on the side of the road and were like, let’s put that on a thing. Did you know, I didn’t know this until I actually went to the Florida Keys, that the key lime is literally a lime that grows on the Florida Keys. He doesn’t even know what a lime is. Yeah. And in, uh. I knew they were green. In, uh, Key West, they sell key lime pie on a stick dipped in chocolate. Yeah. Where’d you film your special? In Chicago. Chicago. Why’d you choose Chicago? Uh, that’s where I started standup and that’s where my wife and I met. Okay. And um. So they’re on your side? Yeah, I wanted a bunch of ringers. Yeah. Yeah. The jokes are not that good. I need a friendly audience. Well, I mean, that’s not, I, I didn’t, I wasn’t insinuating they’re green. You, you. Limes are green. Let’s go back to that. A hundred percent, that’s what you. Were you ready to choose? I am very ready. 3, 2, 1. We agree guys? Yes. That’s a beautiful way to have the final round, and I hope it’s not the most expensive. I’m gonna guess that’s the most expensive one. Okay, so the first plate is our mid price point option, oh God, from Republic of Pie for 8.95. The last plate is our low option from Bella’s How Sweet It Is for 4.75, which means all three of you chose the fancy option from Morton’s for 15.50 and you now must call. 15.50 for a slice of pie. Yeah. What’s the place? You have such expensive tastes, dude. I know. And I changed, I changed so fast. So how am I seeing you at restaurants? Because I’m such a cheapo. Yeah, well your wife is making the decision where you go. That’s it. Yeah, that’s it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You see me when I’m slumming it. You know, when I wanna be with the people. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Please take all that out. Um. Just get it over with. We’re here for you 24/7. 555-449-8729. Yeah. Again, we’re calling this number. A new number. Hi, we only prepared three options, so you’ve once again reached sexy Triple A where AAA stands for… Yes, we remember what it stands for. They know that. For, you know what I don’t like is that the voice will respond to you, which means this isn’t pre-recorded, there’s somebody over there doing this. Yeah, yeah. Somebody in this room. Somebody. That’s what you don’t like? I don’t like that it’s happening live. Yeah, I don’t, I totally agree. I don’t wanna know that that person is. That’s simply not true. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it’s not true that they can respond. Okay. It’s not true. You heard it here. Yeah, I guess, wow, they’re really, really, you guys are good at pre-recording. All right, what are the, am I supposed to swear our … Press one to speak to a super sexy agent. Press two to speak to a super horny agent. You and you’ve done that. And press three to hear these options again. You could also do. Let’s just, uh, hear the options again. Press one to speak to a super sexy agent. Press two to speak to a super horny agent. Press three to hear these options again. Let’s hear ’em again. I mean, we only have so much time. I would love to promote your, uh, standup. Yeah, yeah. This is more important to me. Yeah. He, he’s, he’s found the loophole. Um, this is never gonna end. Be sure to. No, let’s hear it, let’s call him again. No, no, let’s not. Be sure to catch Kumail. I’ve got the number right here. In Ella McCay in theaters starting today, and his standup special, it’s funny. Around the globe. It is funny everywhere. Everywhere. It’s funny everywhere. You don’t just have to be from Chicago. Kumail Nanjiani: Night Thoughts, premiering Friday, December 19th, exclusively on Hulu. And don’t forget to come back for a Good Mythical Weekend tomorrow, right here on this channel. Thanks for commenting and sharing this video. Now you say you know what time it is. I know what time it is. We are the Sherard family from Edwardsville, Illinois. We are currently making Goldfish pizza rolls from the Mythical cookbook and, it’s time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality. You did it Sherards. Bringing families together. We love it. Okay, we got a unfun fact. Lower your expectations. Arnold was the titular character in the television program, Hey Arnold. Click the top link to watch us try the newest energy drinks in Good Mythical More. Today is the last day to get your order in so it arrives in time for Christmas. Enjoy free domestic standard shipping today only. Plus, check out the new Mythical Quarter Zip while you’re there. Mythical.com.