GMM 2958: Fancy MRE Taste Test (Survival Meal Kits)

GMM 2958: Fancy MRE Taste Test (Survival Meal Kits) thumbnail

YouTube Video ID: lN_aTp-jYvI

Episode Post Date: January 14, 2026

GMM Episode Number: 2958

Transcript

What's the best MRE from France?
Let's talk about that.
Bonjour mythique.
We're about to taste some French MREs,
but first, this portion of today's episode
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Now please pardon my French, but commencons.
Okay, boys, you're about to taste
five different French MRE entrees.
But before we start, here is one of the
full MRE boxes for you to go through.
It comes with two ready cooked
dishes, as well as a starter,
drink mixes, snacks, and dessert.
I mean.
This is fancy.
There's this, there's a
picture of a guy on there.
So much food, so much French food.
Okay, so this is, uh, I don't.
Salade de gesiers.
Salade de gesiers, quinoa rouge.
We're gonna eat this one.
This is some kind of.
I'm excited to find out what geezers is.
Relates de macaro.
We have, um, uh, Canales de Bardau.
I think is this, this is a fish.
Looks like we have some, this is a
instant coffee, and maybe some cocoa.
Okay.
We have tissues to wipe yourself up.
Cereal.
Chocolate.
Chocolate.
A little chocolate bar.
Soupe.
Soup.
A little wa wafer.
Caramel wafer.
Dang biscuit.
The French are doing it up.
Well, you know, they like to eat.
I think they, they're like, you know what?
We're not gonna go into battle.
We're gonna go into food battle.
We have a ISO technique, tonique.
A strawberry yogurt
thingy, ISO star caffeine.
We don't know what any of this stuff is.
A protein bar and a fruit bar.
Good gosh.
Alright.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay, so.
This is so much stuff, France.
What you're gonna do now is you're
going to cook the first entree,
which is red quinoa gizzard salad.
Yum.
That, that can.
Gizzards.
And then we're gonna prepare the
rest, but we want the Mythical
Beasts to see how this goes.
So, um, if you could please,
let's cook this can up.
This stuff is, I want the ravioli.
This is fun.
I'd rather have the raviolis.
Okay, whatever.
There's the handle for the thing.
Um.
Put that there, I don't.
I think, think you're supposed to use this.
You're supposed to use that in order to.
I have some.
You can use yours and then we'll.
There's a to touch that.
We've been warned about this.
Be very careful with French MREs.
These are, these are throat lozenges.
We're gonna be downing all six of these.
No, we don't want to touch this
because this is what makes fire.
Now with an American MRE you just
like, break something, shake something,
you open it and it starts cooking.
That's just so simple.
But maybe this French cuisine
requires a little extra touch or
actually less touch because you're
not supposed to touch those things.
We got a little metal thing.
It's just so advanced.
That you fold up.
That becomes a thing that that goes on.
But I wanna put one of these
in, down, down in here.
But while you're doing that, I will
open this, 'cause I know I'm supposed
to open this and then have it have the
seal broken so that we can not completely
open it, but just a little bit like that.
It comes with a box of matches.
Oh God.
Inside a little plastic bag.
Oh my God.
Oh, that's, close it back up.
How is there any way that this is gonna
taste good after anything that is done to it?
Because French, it's got the, because
it says oui chef and it's got a black
and white chef picture on the front.
Oui chef.
Is there anything else?
Well, well toothpicks.
So I'll say, before you light the little
tablet, uh, we are going to turn on some
fans in here, in this, in on a stage.
'cause typically this is supposed to be
done outside and we wanna be really safe.
But let's, let's, uh, go ahead, let's try it.
All right, turn on the exhaust fans.
Okay.
You light her up and I'll set her down.
Here we go.
See how easy it is to catch.
Come on, catch.
I think it's caught.
Yeah, take that out.
Okay, here we go.
Oh, it is burning and I'm
just gonna set it in there.
And now we let our gizzards cook and we're
gonna let this cook throughout the show.
We're gonna move on and taste another
one that has already been cooked.
Hold on, I wanna see what's
happening first though.
It's kind of sizzling.
This is actually cooking.
This is real cooking.
Of course, man.
All right, so we'll come back
to that as the last round.
Okay, boys, you'll be ranking these
entrees from worst to best or best to
worst, depending on how you look at it.
Take a look at the board behind you.
You did not know we had the gloves on.
We have this gloves 'cause it's so hot.
We should be ranking from, merci beaucewww.
Oui oui don't like it.
Bon, sure I guess.
I'm in Louvre.
And sacre bleu ribbon.
That's really good.
Okay, your first entree is
pork risotto with mushrooms.
Oh,
we gotta pull this thing all the way off.
Or we can leave it right there.
Risotto.
Risotto.
Something I don't often get.
You get.
Never get.
And something that was made a lot
on that Hell's Kitchen Show and I
would, and I had never had it before.
Like they're always making risotto.
What is that.
On Top Chef, it is the
most unsuccessful dish.
Apparently it's difficult to make it right.
So it's kind of a bold French move
to have this as one of your options.
The meat part right there is really big.
Oh, there's lots of meat under there.
Look at that pork.
Yeah, 'cause we got pork
and we've got mushrooms.
Hmm.
And how old is this?
30 years old.
Brand new.
Wow.
That's got a lot of flavor.
It doesn't taste like
something that's been in a can.
Does it?
The pork doesn't taste like pork, though.
What does it taste like?
More like it's kind of flavorless chicken.
Uhhuh.
Well, you gotta, I mean, you gotta, you got.
No, this is not a napkin hand.
It's a napkin for.
No, this is for heat.
Um.
It's not bad.
It definitely needs salt.
Interesting.
You don't think it does?
Wow.
It, it just probably has, like.
It doesn't have flavor.
Crazy amounts of salt in it,
I would think, because it's
supposed to last for a long time.
Not bad.
I just didn't know it was pork
and I still can't, I still really
can't tell you that it's pork.
Okay.
Well, I, I like this one a lot
and my friend here seems to be
kind of on the fence about it.
So you, you actually do like it.
That's what you're saying.
Compared to what you would expect to get
out of a prepared meal like this that
you just heat up with a Sterno thing?
Mm-hmm.
I think it's pretty dang
good, but you know what?
I have high standards for the French.
I'm fine with this right here.
Bon sure, I guess.
Up next you have Superior Duck Cassoulet.
Ooh Cassoulet, with the beans.
Duck.
I love duck, man.
It's the dark meat.
Oh, that's a whole duck sauce.
Oh, it's like a sausage.
Yeah, there's a, there's a bunch of
different meats in there that hopefully
all don't taste like bland chicken.
Look at that.
What is that?
That's a different type of meat.
Oh, really?
Mm-hmm.
And look at those beans.
I mean, this smells really good.
Did you know that in,
I'm getting rid of this.
In French.
Annoying me.
Uh, they don't say quack, quack for a duck.
They say coin coin.
And that's not a joke because if
it was, it wouldn't be that funny.
But it's spelled like coin coin.
Coin coin.
Coin coin.
Do you have any spare coin?
Coin coin.
Hmm hmm.
Yep.
Not bad.
It isn't bad, it's.
Oh man.
It's like a, um.
It's actually really good.
It's like something that my granddaddy
would, would pop open on the fishing boat.
I need to join the French military.
Yeah, I mean, they've
got food for days, dude.
And standards are high.
This taste a lot like my mom
used to make a dish that was.
So hearty.
Lima beans and a creamy sauce with
a, with bacon, and this is like the
fancy French version of that, like.
I'm, I mean, this is great.
This one's better than that one.
You think the military
recruiting campaign in France.
It burst with taste.
Instead of it being like, the kinds of
commercials that we see are like people,
like guys standing outside of shopping malls.
Do you think it's just
letting people do taste tests?
Yeah.
Come in, eat some of this food.
Don't you wanna eat this food all the time?
Or they're always eating good so
it doesn't mean that much to 'em.
Maybe this is just as crappy to them
as American MREs would be to us, it's
just because of the sliding scale.
It's all relative.
Link, that's great.
I'm in Louvre.
So we are going above and
beyond with Au Canard.
Okay, now we're really mixing things up
here with Asian style chicken and shrimp.
I bet you they could do that too.
I bet you they can.
Look at the shrimp.
I'm just gonna get one out
for you just to show you.
It's a little shrimp.
It's like a little, it looks like a bean.
But it's not.
And then there's a piece of, there's a piece
of, there's a piece of, here comes the.
There's the, here's some.
Are you about to feed a child?
There's some chicken.
Yeah.
Yourself.
And then, oh my God, I'm just trying
to get a little bit of everything.
Z.
Hmm.
A little bit sweet,
a little bit fishy.
Okay.
This one doesn't need any salt.
This is the first one in
which I'm tasting the can.
Are you sure it's not just the uh.
It's the can, it's a metallic taste.
The shrimp.
That sometimes if a soup's been
in the soup can for too long,
like I think that's a distinct, it
could be good, but it's distinctly
something about the consistency of it
absorbed the can.
Alright, well that's when we can.
Well, they can't be perfect.
What do you think of the shrimp though?
Very small.
Too small from my taste.
They're like those, they're dr, like
a dried little sausage of a shrimp.
Lemme try one.
It's disquieting to me.
Hmm.
Oh, well, yeah.
I think the shrimp really
absorbed a lot of that.
That's can taste.
I'm telling you.
What if you.
That's just what the shrimp tastes like.
What if you spent the day, like what
if you were French and you spent
the day doing French things and
then you tasted the baby shrimp?
Okay.
Like going into like, like trooping
across the French countryside.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Be French.
Like getting my on my feet, my,
my, my garage down south is wet.
Is a foot a garage?
I don't think so.
You took three years.
I mean, the French are not currently.
La feets are swampy.
I have the smart boot.
So they're not currently at war, so the
French military is like going into town.
We're going into town to see the cinema.
You know, we're like, we're just living,
we're just living the life of a French.
Uhhuh.
Person.
Only smoke, smoke cigarettes.
We're smoking, we're watching the cinema.
We're judging people.
Oui oui.
I'm judging it.
Didn't make it any better.
On this one.
And it's, this is the worst one we've had.
Yeah.
Yep.
That's not hot anymore,
so we're good right there.
This guy.
Oh, this is the guy we got coming.
This is the oui chef we got
coming in the last round.
Yep, yep.
Now I'm afraid.
He's like, I'm going, coming back boys.
What if our iconic Will It series had
a diner and then, we opened that diner,
and then we had to close that diner,
but we had a lot of t-shirts left over.
We'd sell the t-shirts.
From the diner and all we
had left was the T-shirts.
That would be the t-shirt.
Yeah, we'd probably also sell a hat.
Look at that.
It's a cool design.
T-shirt.
We were, we really had fun when it
was open and now you can just, uh, see
it on the back of the shirt with all
the specials, the menu, everything.
Relive the memories that
we never really made.
Mythical.com.
Will It's.
Pretty cool.
Next up you have Strasbourg
Sausages and Pasta.
I love both of those things.
I'll let you take all three.
Really?
Strasbourg, never been there,
but I'm sure it's great.
Oh, that's a, just a classic wiener looking.
Now, I will say about this wiener, this
Strasbourg wiener, it's nicknamed knack in
the region where it's from, because of the
noise it emits under the tooth when crunched.
I think that means when bitten.
So I think what I'm gonna do.
It's not like a direct
French, uh, translation.
I'm gonna snack on this wiener for a second
and you see if it makes a knack sound.
Okay.
Go harder?
Knack, knack.
I'm not trying to exaggerate it.
I don't wanna make the sound.
I want the sausage to make the sound.
Well.
You know, I think maybe.
I don't think it made that
sound, but you're not French.
I, that's what it is.
My mouth isn't French.
Yeah, you, I think what the accent is.
This would've been a little bit harder.
Firmer.
Everything is so soft in these cans.
It has a very Vienna sausage.
Vienna, some might say.
Lemme try it.
I'm gonna eat it with the
mushrooms and carrots.
Yep.
Very Vienna sausage.
Wait, we really started off strong.
I don't, and now I'm really thinking.
I hate it, but.
Twice about my plans to
join the French military.
Yeah.
If I'm on a fishing boat again.
Of course, I don't know if I'd wanna light
those lozenges on a fishing boat, you know?
Yeah.
We had to burn a hole in
the bottom of the boat.
Um.
What happened here?
This is not as bad as that one.
I really didn't like this one,
so I wanna move this one down.
But it's actively not good.
No.
And the only thing we got
left coming is gizzards, man.
Oh crap.
We only got gizzards coming from this point.
Uh, yeah.
Maybe, maybe gizzards are number one.
Okay,
probably not.
You know, wishful thinking, joie de vivre.
Uh, I don't know what, that's what we've got.
Vivre le joie.
And the moment we've all been
waiting for, the gizzards.
They're back and completely cooked.
The muscular part of a bird's stomach
is known as the gizzard, uh, not
the first thing that you think about
when you think about eating a bird.
No, I guess, uh, you know, if you're in
a combat zone, you're not gonna complain.
The thing I don't like about it
is that you can see the fibers.
Yeah.
You can see the, the stomach fibers
just like pushing and pulling on, on all
of the stuff that the, that the ducks.
The bird's been eating.
Yeah.
And now you're about to put
in your stomach, the stomach.
I know, but at least I'm gonna get.
Hey man, that's the circle of life.
I'm gonna get some of that corn.
Some of the other stuff.
Quinoa.
It smells better.
Much better now than when we first opened it.
You know?
Whoa.
Weird.
It's like minty.
That is an interesting flavor.
It almost taste like there's candy in it.
I cannot place it.
What did you say, it is minchi?
Minty.
Minty.
But he said whoa weird first.
Whoa weird minty.
Yeah, I heard that part.
And then he said it tasted like candy.
Um, I don't know if I disagree or agree.
Isn't that so strange?
I cannot place the flavor profile.
That is a whole new flavor for me.
I know, it's like a licoricey.
Oh yeah, a little licoricey, little anise.
Now, okay.
I'm taking off my French glove.
Because I feel like we gotta give
some of this other stuff a chance.
It's got vinaigre de vin
rouge, it's got red wine in it.
It's got mustard in it.
I didn't mean to roll that over to you, but
that's a sign you should open and eat it.
It's not bad.
So, I mean, it's definitely
not the worst one.
We got, I mean, we got these biscuits here.
I'm gonna take this off.
Wow.
Before I make a decision to completely
withdraw my submission, we cannot.
I'm probably too tall for the middle by,
by the way, factor this into the rankings.
You can't be over six four usually.
Oh, okay.
What is this?
You want a hard flavor of this cracker?
I quite enjoyed the little bit of that.
You want a, you want a,
um, a French cake nipple.
Uhhuh.
Oh, its like rum cake.
Yeah.
There's, there's two more
where that came from.
Would you like a protein bar?
Yeah.
Why are you so timid?
They're never gonna let you in.
They're never gonna let you
in, if you're that timid.
Okay, feed me this.
You want some of this?
This is like a, uh, rice, rice crispy
treat, but it's just a little bit.
I don't wanna eat too much.
That's good.
I don't wanna spoil my dinner.
I do not want to open the fish.
Oh, chocolate.
Je ne pas, poisson.
Chocolate.
Well that's hard chocolate.
Um, I'm gonna go ahead and
cue this one up somewhere.
We have muesli.
Oh, Link.
I think it's gonna go right in there.
I think we've got yogurt.
Yeah, strawberry yogurt.
Squirt some of that in my mouth.
And let's call it a day.
Right, here we go.
Strawberry yogurt.
Oh, it's not, it's jam.
Uh uh, uh uh.
Sorry.
I thought it was yogurt.
What?
It is just jam.
Shelf stable yogurt.
Too much of it.
Oh look, just a big slab of jello.
Tastes good.
What?
Oh, nibble on that.
This is actually the best thing I've had.
Ooh, gummy.
That's good.
Hmm.
I'm saying that this is not the worst.
This is not the next to worst.
I think that the gizzards
are somewhere in the middle.
Even though you said minty and it
tastes like licorice and you hate
mint and licorice it, it is okay.
Yeah.
So because it didn't taste bad,
it just tasted different, like a
totally new thing, an experience.
Experiencez beaucoup.
The best thing that you can get if
you're in the French military, is the
stu, the beans with the canard in it.
Yep.
And we don't remember what that
is, but yeah, you probably do.
Duck.
Duck beans.
Yeah.
Superior.
Thanks for commenting and sharing this video.
You know what time it is.
Hi, I'm Emily.
I'm studying abroad in Boussens en France.
That sounded so good.
Yeah, that's a good accent you did there.
Okay, make sure your volume is way, way up.
Your dog puked and then you ate it, and
then you puked and the dog ate that.
Click the top link to watch us move a
bucket of water using only our minds,
no a sponge, in Good Mythical Morning.
In Good Mythical More.
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long sleeve tee just dropped.
Shop it now at Mythical.com.

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