YouTube Video ID: myx-nuFNros
Episode Post Date: March 31, 2026
GMM Episode Number: 3012
Transcript
Can we figure out what mystery products do before time runs out? Let's talk about that. Good Mythical Morning. It's only day two of Celibacy Week, which means you've still got a few days left to not get pregnant, and therefore not curse your future child with a birthday between December 24th and January 1st, nine months from now. That's how it works. And that's how it shouldn't work. Yes. Right now. We know a few days can feel like forever when you're in heat. So to help you keep your libido, libi-low. Oh. This week, here's another unsexy moment of yours truly. We're gonna fish you, man. No, no, no, no. Oh. Oh God. Whoa, that does not smell great. You should have ferned him. That takes you right out of the mood. Yeah, that is not what you wanted, but it's what you needed. Yeah, so stay strong, but also soft. Now, life's greatest mystery is why so many people got a barbed wire tattoo on their upper arm between 1995 and 1999. But life's funnest mysteries are the mystery products we're about to struggle to use. It is time for, Do You Know What Dat Doodad Do? All right. You're gonna have four minutes to shop at the Mythi-Mart and find the items you need to properly use the mystery product in front of you. But you'll be docked five seconds for every wrong item you bring back to the desk. If you win three outta the four rounds, there will be a revealing prize waiting for you. Does that sound good? Uh, a revealing prize. Yes. All right, your time starts now. Okay, we've got a. That goes on something. This is a plastic thing right here. Don't take that tape off this, they're covering up what it is. This has a, uh, lightning symbol on it, and I think something. Power. Goes around it. Power, power, power. And it's, this thing doesn't spin. Okay. But, oh, oh, oh. I just turned it on. I just. Is it spinning, what is it doing? I pushed a button and then nothing happened. Okay, I, I. Nothing is happening. Okay. Hold on. So it's gonna, that's gonna go. Is it sucking? That's gonna go on something? Yeah. Something round that it needs to sit in and kind of make a seal. Oh. Do you think it would, do you think it would do it to a mug? Yes. Like, um. Like a mug? Yeah, yeah. What would it do to a mug? I, I think it would make a, a beverage in the mug. This mug doesn't fit. Minus five. So there, take this mug back. Keep the mug. Keep the mug. No, no. It's a little bigger than the mug. No. Whoa. Hey, that was a good try. Okay. You kept it from breaking. Yeah. Five points. Uh. A little smaller than the mug. So this can fit down. Smaller than the mug. Round, mug like, when I push this button. Oh, might it be a candle? I think, I think maybe this goes on a candle and then it, it aerates the candle without burning it. Because this, it looks like a filter. Like maybe, I thought you could make coffee in it. Minus five. Ah, Chase your, come on, be faster with that. That, that, this was a good idea though. You know, instead of burning a candle, you got this on it. Salsa. A little bit bigger than this. Oh, there he goes. Okay. See. Uh, let's see, uh. A cup. Let me just tell you what I got. I got a cup. Not that kind of cup. Oh. It's round, anything round. Cat food? No. Oh, this thing? No. Round with a seal. Might it be a way to water a plant? It's a, it's a filter. Might it be a way to water a plant? Maybe if you put. Could you put lotion in it? I think what you do is you turn this on. It filters out a cup of water in this thing. Jelly beans. Put water in this, and then, watch, if I push the button, watch what happens. Nothing. Well. It's just peeing out water the whole time. Might it do something to whiskey? Does it stir whiskey? That's not a bad idea. Whiskey, do you need to stir whiskey or is it usually shaken? Oh, could it be oh, oh. Is it a tiny, uh, uhuh, uh, cotton candy maker? Woo. I'm wet. Ooh, I'm wet. Hold on. Is it a cotton candy maker? Uh, maybe. Minus five. Uh, how much time do we have? 46 seconds. 45. Oh, it's, you had a simple task. Just, oh. What, what is this? You did already touch the item, Rhett, and. This is from the candle. Think Link said no to it. Oh, oh. Whatever I said no to, I'm saying yes to now. This? Yes, yes, yes. Water. Water. Let's see, we got this cup. This goes right there on that. That does go right there on that. And then. Got 20 seconds left. What, what. That other thing's minus five. Liquid, Rhett. Liquid. Give him a liquid. Grab a liquid. Here's a liquid. No, not water. Not water. Another liquid. Is there any liquid over there? Whiskey. Whiskey, yes. Whiskey. 3, 2, 1. Glug glug glug glug. Negative five seconds. Alright, so we have the water in there though. And of course. You do have the water. That works. All right, so since you were unable to properly use the mystery product, we're gonna have Lucas come in and show you what you're supposed to do. Dude, there's coffee over there. Sit down. Sit down. Sit down and think about what you've not done. What does he got? He's got hot water. Hot water. It's a portable coffee maker. Hey Lucas. What. Rhett and Link. Are you saying the things that you want us to say to you? Hey, Lucas. Hey, best friend. Pull up a chair, replace Link. Pull up a chair, replace Link. Harder than it seems. You can't even open a, a thing of a coffee. Well, I just did. Okay, and you pour it in here. It's a portable coffee maker. It's a portable coffee maker, but it's cool. Because I'm showing it to you. So you just fill that up. Yeah. And you had the, the cup obviously is specially made for it. Obviously. But that wasn't obvious to you, Rhett. I held it up and said this. I said bigger, than the other thing. Are you in? I literally, I held that up. You then also panicked and said smaller, like immediately after. Oh yeah, I did. Yeah. So this is the Quick Brew Solo. Quick Blue Solo. It's a two in one coffee maker that brews hot coffee in 60 seconds and cold brew in about four minutes. And it, uh, creates like a little bit of a vacuum seal in there as well to help. Why though? The whole process. What help, why does that help? Yeah. Why does it create. I'm mad at it. Why does it create a vacuum seal so you can't pull it apart? So it's fresher? Uh, maybe. How's that? How's that taste? A little weak. Okay. Okay. Well here's to that. All right, you guys are off to a bit of a rough start, but there's still plenty of time to pull out a victory. Yes. We're behind an eight ball, we gotta get all these. Next one. Oh, okay. This. Alright, start the timer. Some. Okay. This is going to fit. Don't, don't, maybe don't put, don't look directly into it. This is going to fit onto something. I, does it, it looks kinda like a thing that doctors put in your ears. Oh, and it could be, and it can be red. And it can be blue. Alright, so I know that it needs some sort of, oh, mirror ball. Oh, it's doing things. I can hear it. Put a mirror ball in the end of it? It's going. Uh, I'm looking for some sort of electronics. Underwear. Oh, look at this. Is there anything? This has gotta be part of it. Look. I think you're gonna breathe with that, right? Does that go on it? It's medical. Yep. Yep. He ain't saying nothing. Okay, and Link. There's something that will power it. There's no power yet. Uh, no. Makeup remover, socks. Some, there's a me look, look, there's a metal thing that something fits in or over. Like a cord perhaps. I've got power. Face paint. But getting it to. Baguette. You know what it's gonna be, Link? Floss sugar. Something that you can put, uh, a liquid into, that is then gonna go misting into my mouth. Okay? It is a mouth mister. A mouth mister. Okay. Well, here is a thing full of urine. You want to be mouth misted? I mean, it's, it, it says urine. Uh, we also have water. Is there a thing that it can screw onto a water bottle? Like. What I'll tell you right now is that this right here, Link, is not, it doesn't fit on here naturally. I mean, maybe there's a way to to stretch it over it, but if there's a way. Fire. No fire. You need a liquid that is going to be turned into a mist that is gonna go into my mouth and my nose. All right. It's gotta be this water. Catch. Okay. See, look. We are nailing it, homie. Yeah, but it's gotta fit. It's gotta, there's gotta be something that fits. It's already on. I don't understand. No, no. 'cause look, look, look. This is gonna draw water in and then it's gonna, then it's gonna mist into my mouth. Why would you mist it into your mouth? A minute and a half left. Alright, so, and I, and this. Jock strap. Again, I have urine, but we have water. I, coke, salsa, chips. Nothing that's mechanical. And there's nothing that is going. Like vacuum attachments. Does it vacuum? No, it's, but see, this doesn't fit. Cat food everywhere. This doesn't fit on here. Link. Is there something that it'll fit better? A couplet? I mean, unless they've hidden it within the, there's like massager pieces. Has he touched it, Chase? Ah, ah, ah. 45 seconds. Look at it. I think he has touched it very early on. Look at that. Is that it? Probably. Minus five. Ah. No. I mean there's not that much here. It does fit. It seems like it should be obvious at this point. Yeah, you're real close to a bingo on this one. Basketball, uh, shoot. 20 seconds. You're so close to a bingo on this one. Bingo. Right, here's the bingo cards. I found those. Minus five. Oh. Hold on. Where were the bingo? So close to Bingo. Oh, oh, oh. A plant. Your ears really close. Plant, what, it missed the plant. All right, let's get Mad Dog in there. Oh, first of all, first of all, it is on the other side, which. Oh, dude. Look at that. That makes sense. Can't wait for Lucas to come on camera. Alright. Hey Lucas. This was by your ear the entire time you were standing there. You looked right at it like a dozen times. Is the only tiny little thing that could screw right into there. Oh, it could screw right into. Yeah, we'll put water in it first, or whatever that is. That wasn't labeled urine, was it? That is water, it's uh, mineral water. Oh gosh, Rhett. Look, dude. Look at how obvious things. And then hot or cold. So glad Lucas helped us. So put that on your mouth. Is it on? Turn it on again. This on. And what's it doing? It is a cordless warm and cool mist inhaler. A device that steams and mists your nasal passages to relieve congestion, dry cough, and more. Oh yeah. Oh, oh. Oh, there it is. Hmm. Oh, get some hot. Should have got that. Get some hot. That's on me, man. Get some hot. Oh. Okay. It's, it tastes like, your beard. Come on, this is for pride. Okay. I know we can't technically win at this point, but listen, if we get this one right, we might find a way to make it interesting. We can make the rules. Interesting. Yeah. Alright, let's see it Link. You are the bosses. All right, let's see the next one. Okay. Okay. That's that. Does that fit on your shin? So this is some sort of a, is it a jump rope? It's a jump rope that attaches to your shin. And then when you, when you, when you jump. Okay. You have to. I think it's going to. Oh, look at that. Does it cradle? It's a sling. It's an ankle sling. Does it cradle something? It cradles what would be my, my, my shin. And there's a. Hey, I think it'll fit this perfectly. Oh. Yeah. Oh, it fits. Minus five. No. Oh God. Look at the perfect fit. Don't be so reckless, dude. Look at that. That's amazing. A cup. Is it for slinging a cup on? If you're by yourself, you don't have help? Maybe you, it might, it might throw cups down into something, but then you can remove this and they're stacked. It's like a cup. Like a cup stacker. Balls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Balls. Another one. I'll just do a single minus five. Oh God. God, Chase. All right. Is there, is there anything that. Is it for the toilet? Is there anything that's like round that this could go in? Like. Hold, hold on. I think it might be for the toilet. If you needed to. To like, shoe horn a poop in there? Do what you were doing, but do it next to a toilet. What? What? What are you doing. Hold on. What if I was on the toilet and I needed help? I was on the toilet. Oh. And then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That right there. And then you, you hold onto these and you. Since you didn't bring the toilet over, I'm not gonna give you a minus five. Oh. But that would, that would so work. It would work. God. Chase. I think it goes down in a hole. Like if you stood, if you stood, stood on that you would make a hole. Sandalwood. And then you pull it out. Uh, oh, it's a salsa luge. I, I. Jelly bean luge. I think I'm supposed to stay over here. I, I just think that it's something that operates at a distance that then you. Wrapping paper. You got a minute and a half left. When you pull it. Could you wrap it? Maybe it's up this way. Is it for picking up a tripod? I think you could probably wrap something, but I, I wouldn't pick the wrapping paper. What does that mean, Chase? Alright, you shoved this down. Oh, sock. Oh yes. This is a sock. It's a socker. Yes. This puts your sock on you. Put your, put your sock on on that. Put your sock on. Put your sock on that. Put your sock on. And then look. Uhhuh. And then look. And then sock up, for people with hurt backs. People with hurt backs gotta put socks on too. Now this is not, I think you have to get it over the ridge here. There you go. And then. Yes. It's a socker. Ah. Yeah, you just used a sock aid. It's a tool that helps people with limited mobility put socks on their feet. Yeah, we figured it out. And did we do it right? That the sock goes over the ridge? You're supposed to like just pull it all, like bunch it all up so that just the toe is sticking up at the end of it. Oh really? And then that little like black rubber piece, um, it helps keep the friction on the rest of the sock. But did you know it fit bread perfectly? We have opened up the Pin Vault. Yes, as part of the new Mythical Society, you now get exclusive access to select past pins from the pin of the month archive. All you gotta do is join the new All Access Plan to get into the vault. Mm-hmm. And act fast because this is a limited time offer and we're gonna close it up soon. So explore the vault and new plans at MythicalSociety.com. We can't win, but we have so much momentum right now. I can just feel it. I can feel it turning into a win. How about this, Chase? If we get this right, and Lucas is impressed. It's so hard to impress him. We can still win. Lucas come out here. High bar, but if Lucas is into it, I think, I think I'll allow it. Lucas stand, maybe stand back here and just um, just be an observer. All right, let's, let's reveal your last item. Okay. We gotta get this, man. We gotta get this. Okay. Oh, oh. It kind of looks like it is in the sock family. It could go into the sock for sure. So this, so it's that. And then. And then what are those? Okay, so, oh, this is, oh, this is, you know, so it's gentle. It's gentle because of the little nubs. Well, when I think gentle, I think toilet. It grabs, right? The nubs. Yeah, but not really. Not really. It pinches something. But not just gently. Gently. It, it gently grabs. It barely grabs. Oh dude, I know what this is. I know what this is. Here, give it to me. Huh? This is exactly what we were thinking about. This is exactly what we were thinking about for the last round. Check this out. Right here. Right there, and now. It is a, it's a little, a little potty buddy. Yeah. Oh, so you don't. It's a potty splash. Is there anything for you to splash? Well, I'm sure I can work something up. That has already been referenced earlier in the episode? Oh my God. Look at this, Rhett. Urine. Oh, okay. I'm gonna stay away. You wanna do the honors? No. I'll let you do it. I'll let you do it. Woo. Yes. Minus five. Didn't wanna touch it. Is that, is it helping you? Oh yeah. So now you just get like the eternal bank shot. Yeah. Eternal bank shot. Every. Great. It's all, the bank is always open when you have that thing. So that's a urine deflector. Yeah, Lucas and Rhett, I'd like to invite both of you over here for this special moment. Okay. Alright. Come on, let's go. Okay. Well, Lucas. Oh gosh. What do you think? Oh gosh. It took me way longer to fill that bottle, so I'm really proud of you, and how quick you. So it's not a backboard, uh, it's a urine deflector, which is a toilet seat attachment that prevents urine from missing the inside of the toilet, and leaking down the front of the bowl. Like you're supposed to pee into the bowl, and then anything that happens to like miss the bowl. Yeah, you don't aim. Caught by that. You don't aim for it, there's not a target on it. But I mean. I don't understand why I would pee this way onto that though, Lucas. Seems like what we did was more impressive. I liked what you did way better. Right? 'cause it, you know, you do that too, and then that way it fills the back. Yeah. That that will work. That way when you're standing up and peeing, it just goes right to the back. The tongue. In between the tank. This is basically, I mean. I think every guy could see this and just relates. Alright, it all comes down to this, Lucas, if you were impressed by that, then we can win. What was the timer? Yeah, no, I'm pretty good with it. I thought it was pretty cool. Yeah, we got two and a half minutes left immediately. Alright, congratulations. So that means that you get to read a crew confession from the Crew Confession Box. Oh, right now. Okay, Rhett. There's a key. No, it's a pen. It's open. Open. All right. There you go. Now again, this is, we have this out at all times. Anybody can put anything that they want in here. It's all anonymous. I replace the lunch meat in the company fridge with cheaper quality lunch meat, and then I sell the lunch meat I stole from the fridge to local teenagers hooked on mid-tier lunch meat. I use the profits to buy monogram bath towels. It is so nice drying my body with towels that say my own name, Davin. Okay, this one is not anonymous. Davin got a side hustle. I guess, yeah. He kind of forgot that maybe he shouldn't have put his name in. So, okay. Thanks for commenting and sharing this video and staying unsexy this week. You know what time it is. My name is Chrissia, this is Chili, and this is Mushu. And we're from Santa Rosa, California. And it is time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality. Chili had to put a show over there. Good gracious. I, and I mean, Mushu looking at Chili like, I might take a bite outta that parrot. Yeah, that's why she's got her head in between them. All right. Buckle up. Unfun Fact. The number 12 always comes after the number 11, which is very giving. Click the top link to watch us build our ideal Coachella lineups in Good Mythical More. The new Mythical Society is here. Unlock access to the pin vault and much more at MythicalSociety.com.