Channel: Good Mythical Morning
YouTube Video ID: YoZnyuetwpY
Episode Number: 3052
Transcript
Can we survive without instructions? Let's talk about that. Good Mythical Morning. I think it's fair to say that we're all addicted to our phones, and we're losing something very important because of it. Meaningful social connection? No. Hard skills. Hard- We're losing hard skills. Okay. We need to take it upon ourselves to learn how to survive the hard way, the way that nature intended. In an air-conditioned studio right here in beautiful Burbank, California. Oh, yeah. We're, we're not gonna leave the desk for this. It's time for, I'm an Internet-tainer, Get Me Outta Here: Surviving Without Instructions. All right, fellas. Some of the items in front of you are essential for today's survival hacks, and others are decoys. Yep. Each round, you're gonna demonstrate the survival hack we're looking for by using the correct materials, hopefully. And lifelines are available, but they will cost you points. If time runs out before you complete the hack, that will also cost you points. Mm-hmm. To win, you must finish the episode with at least one point on the board, and we're starting you with 25. Okay. Piece of cake. Your time- Thank you for that ... starts now. I mean, we, we got to this point without dying. Yeah, we survived. Uh- So many years ... we've got some gum. This, my friend- Some hard gum to chew ... is a battery-less flashlight. So, so I'm going to- Well, you li- Does it make a noise? You're listening to it. So I'm going to put a battery in, because a battery goes inside of a flashlight. But what if the battery just goes on this tinfoil or in this ice water? I'm softening some gum, just in case we need it. Uh, it doesn't work, Link. But if we need to get hard again, put it in the ice water. See? That might be it right there, but they're not clapping. Oh, make your, make your gum hard. That's it, we quit. Uh- 'Cause let me see how hard this gum is now. It's, it's ... Well, it's colder. I think this is a w- It, it's the wrong size battery. We need a double A. Well. We're gonna die out here. We got the wrong battery. We're gonna die. Um, I think if I blow a bubble into this, it, if it's big enough, it'll come out the other end, and then it will make, like, a buoy. Oh. And of course, if I don't blow a bubble in it, it's still a buoy. I have an even better idea. Watch this. I'm watching. Watch this. Slingshot. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't mess with me. So that's a weapon Look- This is a weapon ... and I can aim it at things. What you want me to hit, fan? I want you to hit Abe- What you want me to hit, fan? ... Abe Lincoln right here. Right there. Okay, I'm ... Just one more try, one more try, one more try. 'Cause it- Now, this is kind of a precious environment ... 'cause it's, 'cause it's like a rabbit. Okay. All right, that, if that would've been it, they would've applauded. Please, please clap. We, we need- Oh, wow. I'm getting better at it. All right. We n- I could kill a rabbit with this ... we need, we need to remove a thing. Okay. A decoy. So, you're, you're gonna go for the, for one point you can ask if something's a decoy? Well, yeah. Okay. Do you wanna know about what the other lifelines are? Oh, yeah, yeah. For two points, a survivalist expert will give you a hint about your hack. Oh, no, we want that. Oh, we think we need that. We need to know what we're trying to do. All right. G- go ahead. And then for three points, I will describe a scenario in which you could use your survival hack. Oh, we need that, too. And also, uh, you can use the decoy hint twice per round, but usually that means you've eliminated all your decoys. You might still have a decoy out here. Oh, God. Well, I see the survival expert and I wanna talk to him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So let's bring him out here. Let's bring out a survival expert. Hey there, fellas. It's me, your friendly neighborhood Doomsday prepper, Judas Boaz Sega Genesis Malachi. All right. Here to help you out with some hints and the knowledge- All right ... that the government is stealing your seed while you sleep using nanobots that come out of Netflix. Oh, God. Genesis. That wasn't helpful at all. That wasn't the clue, was it? Oh, no. That's just a little bonus one for you. Oh, great. Uh, but the real hint is as follows. I once spent a month surviving on just pine cones and shots of Grandpappy's cologne. I had a ball. Eventually, I started hallucinating shiny orbs all hours of the night. It was beautiful. So this is- Shiny orbs ... th- this is like you make orbs in order to, um ... It's a distress signal. I'll let you guys figure that out. Oh, but one more bonus hint. In a pinch, this tube right here can be used as a replacement wife. All right, see you fellas later. Well, the problem is, is I got the flashlight stuck in it. We need a replacement tube. And I, and I, and, uh- Look. Oh, look, this ... Wow. We're never gonna die. Hey, we- We just ask for things- We ask for things and they bring it to us ... and people ... Yeah. I didn't even, I haven't even stood up today. So if, if you put this in the end ... But we can't even get it to light, Link, because the battery's the wrong size. Can we have a bigger, um ... Yeah, it's not ... Gum. Orbs. L- like, what about this? Is this one bigger? No, it's the same. I mean, if we put- Oh, what if you put that around- Take this and then use it as an adhesive, and then you put this here And then you wave it until you get saved. Well, uh, you're, you're gonna help that guy, right? W- okay, we gotta know, is the gum ... W- what do you wanna know is the decoy? We already know the flashlight's a decoy. It won't work. Well, there's a lens in it, though. The flashlight a decoy? You do need the flashlight. But we can't power the flashlight. We can't power it. We don't- So to me, we take this apart. Oh, you know what we might need to do? And we take the lens out. Oh, oh, oh. No, no, no. Okay. The lens out of it. Oh, I remember. I've s- I've seen, I've seen this. I saw it on YouTube. You, I'm a YouTuber. If a battery doesn't fit, you can add extra bulk to the end of it to make it work inside of a flashlight. What? Yes, brother. But you gotta put it in correctly now. And then you do this. Because AAA and AA are pretty close to the same size. And then you just take that and screw it down. Uh-huh. And you make a shiny orb. And look, you could also put it, once you turn it on- What, what, what happened on that side? I, I took that end out. Yes. No, no, no. Ha. Yes. I've s- it's in the recesses of my mind. I remember being, be- seeing that somewhere. Is that it? That's all it is, is you can just make a battery that's too small work? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yep, that's correct. It's not- Foil can be used as a conductive bridge ... all it is. When you need, uh, AA batteries but all you have is AAA. Wow. And does that mean that this, uh, light is not as strong as it could be because of the battery size? I don't know. Another episode we'll explain that. And then look at that. Look at that. Lantern. Welcome to round two. Your time starts in three, two, one. We've got slate, some sort of flat rock. We've got wooden sticks. We got black beans. Underwear. Underwear. This is- Is it eggs, a carton ... an egg carton with charcoal in it. With charcoal in it. Interesting. And then a rope. This is, by the way, putting things in egg cartons. Yeah. That's a hack. I've seen people put all kinds of things in there. This, we've already, look, you already did it for us. See, you can light this on fire, and it will make, it will burn the charcoal easier, I think. And depending on how long you have it on the fire, it's either soft-boiled charcoal or medium boiled. Yeah. Right. Uh-huh. Yeah, that's right, Chase. A rope. That's how it works. So maybe, I think there's nothing to start a fire though, except for- Well, okay, okay. One of the things is this. We once played with some underwear- ... on this show that had a charcoal filter in it for your farts. That's right, and I've been using it ever since. Uh-huh. Have you noticed? So basically the- Exactly ... it's basically a way to make your, yourself fart-proof. So we take the charcoal, put it- And bang it ... in your pants. Are these just the sticks from the, uh- From over there? From over there? Oh, good. These are different sticks. These are good sticks. Those are some nice sticks. Like, you couldn't find a stick like that if you just went out. I mean, what is that, a birch? Yep. Yep. Okay, and so I'm gonna just, I'm gonna break that. Hey. Yeah, see You did it. You did that. And then you're gonna put it- And then you just take it and you, uh- So this is to survive your friend's flatulence. Yeah. But what you're going to do is you take the charcoal and you put it in the fly, and then you put the underwear on backwards- Uh-huh ... so that the fly's on the back, and the fart thinks it can get out through the fly- ... 'cause it's like, "Oh, an escape hatch." But then it runs into the charcoal and it's like, "Well, I'm staying in." I just like to line my entire crack with charcoal briquettes. You don't have to wipe because of that. Right. Ah. You know what I really think is going on, Link? If I, if, if I was on Survivor, and I'm not, and I, and, uh, I'm not as big of a fan- Never will be ... as you are, and I had this, this, and this, I would take this and I would begin breaking it and ma- I would make a triangle, and then I would tie it to the st- to the stick and make an ax. Oh, yeah, like a- That's what I would do ... you'd make like a- 'Cause I've seen that movie ... an arrowhead. Just take the edge of it off. It's too hard for that. That actually hurt my feelings a little. There we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See? All right. Oh, oh. Look at that, you made an ax. Now check this out. And then you tie it. Before we get this one right, we should bring Malachi in- Yeah ... so that he can see that we're gonna get it right. Hey, boys. I'm here with another hint for you. I was fighting a squirrel once, and it telepathically told me, "Step up. Step up, or I'll take you down, old man." The battle was vicious, and that squirrel, while tenacious, was delicious. Okay. And another little additional hint, in a pinch, this can of beans can be used as a replacement wife. Okay. Well, hold on. What did he- Yeah ... he said step up. He said- Is it, was that the hint? Step up. Step up. Step up or what? We, we gotta make stilts, Link. Or I'll take you down, I think he said. Step up, step up, or I'll take you down. A squirrel said that to us. I think- Oh, I know what this is. This could be a ladder. Rope. But- Oh, I know what we do. We cut the rope in half with a slate. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Here you go. Here you go. Rub it on there. Give me, give me the sharpest part. I am. There you go. Take your time, but hurry up. Oh yeah, look at us surviving. Yeah, boy. Is it, is it working? I'm getting caught on the ... Is there a All right. Turn, turn it over. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, oh yeah. Why didn't you turn me that side first? There you go. Oh yeah, hold this. There. You wouldn't believe how many times I bite the inside of my mouth when I'm eating. Maybe don't hold it on the mask. I'm worried. If I can survive that, like I bleed every day inside of my mouth. I survive it, so I mean, this is nothing. Uh, why do you bleed every day inside of your mouth? I ble- I bleed every day inside of my mouth, yeah. I don't think I can cut that. I bite it in cer- in different places, and then once you bite it, you just keep re-biting the same place. I'm forming some sort of fistula in my mouth. That I just keep biting and bleeding. Oh, you know what? Bleeding down. You just do this. Put it in the middle. You put it in the middle. It's one of those types of ladders. Do we wanna ask for anything else? And then for this one, I, you don't even have to, um, you don't even have to tie it. You just twist it. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. And then- Create a loop ... let go. Move back. Move back. Hold it back. Hold it, hold it back. You said let go. Let, let go of coming towards me. Let go of that con- let go of that concept. Do a knot through it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. Tight. And now do the last one, and we got a ladder. And... You can't stop us, you little squirrel. We're coming for you. We got a live one. Step up, step up. Or ... And then look, that's a ladder. See? 'Cause ho- I'm gonna hold it up really high. You ... Hold on. And then I'm gonna climb up you. Right here. Oh, that's gonna be hard. Yeah, just put your, put your ... Yeah. See? Foolproof. See. Now- Why aren't, why aren't you clapping? I mean, we made a ladder. Malachi is clapping. We made a ladder. We made a ladder. We stepped up. Now we can just eat our beans. Okay. Um, I mean, do you wanna put a flag on it? Yeah, yeah. This campsite is occupied. And my underwear are drying. Okay. Chase, is the rope a decoy? The rope is not a decoy. I just think that it's the way that we did it they don't like. I will say that the way that you've done things is not what we want. But step up, step up. We made a step ladder, and it's beautiful. I mean, you thought it was stilts. And you have two minutes left. You thought it, like if you ... I don't think we can make stilts in that, in that time. Do we have another ... All right. Is the rope, should I ask for the decoy? Yeah, I'll take a new rope. Is the rope a decoy? The rope is not a decoy. Okay. But I'm not gonna take it a point 'cause you already said that. Oh my God. I mean, we did such a- Oh, you, uh, what, what, oh, are the sticks a decoy? The sticks are not a decoy. Oh, I'm not learning anything. Do we have more sticks? So we're doing, we- so we need the rope and the sticks. I think we make an ax. I think we're on the right track. We just need to break that off. You also, I can tell you- Step up ... a scenario lifeline. All right, you cut- Yeah, but that's three points. Yeah, we need it. Scenario. We don't have time. We'll do it. We don't need to waste our- Yes, go, now. We don't need to waste three points. No, it's, it, mathematically, it totally makes sense. Okay, hurry up. So you're in the outdoors and you've gone off to pee behind a special tree, and a bear came and stole Rhett's chair. And with his bad back, he won't last long on his feet. Good thing you have this hack. Oh. What? We make a stool. We're making a stool. Look, we've already done it. Yep. Yes, it's a chair. We're down to seconds. Yeah, but... 40 seconds. It's gonna be kinda like this. Like that, and we tie it around, and we make a, and we make a... And so if that were tied right there, this would be a- It'd be a stool. All right, sit on it just to see if it works. Yes. Oh, we pulled it out. Oh. All right. Yes. I mean- I wanna see Lucas do this. We need a demonstration. Yeah, let's, uh, let's see it be done a little bit better than what you did. Okay. So all three are together. He's just tied 'em. See, they cut, they cut away from what he was doing. And when they cut back to him, he had done a lot of things. All right, but he didn't sit on it either. I mean, we basically did the same thing. He didn't sit on it. We did it, we did the same level of investment. But that, the key is tying them all three together and then- But you, you- ... then separating ... you landed on the exact formation, though. Yeah, yeah. Yep, yep. So I feel very proud of us. Yeah, yeah. We're gonna live. We are going to live another day, and through another round. Start the clock, Chase. Yeah. Okay. We basically can't lose at this point. And you know what? I'm even gonna promote, uh, my podcast with my dad. Oh, do it. I'm not even gonna listen. Check out Dispatches From Myrtle Beach, which is my dad's podcast that I'm also on. Every week, we talk about things that we care about, and boy, does he get into a pickle every now and again. So watch Dispatches From Myrtle Beach wherever you get your podcasts, including on YouTube. We have water. Now, I can tell you something special about this water. The lid has a hole in it. Mm. Also, we have a spoon. We have a screw, which I'm just gonna put there for now. We have two- straws. I couldn't remember what they were called. And we have some toilet paper. And we have, watch this. Get a close up of this. And a tray. Watch this, guys. This is not magic. It's a magnet. Did you have those or were we given those? Yeah, they were... It's part of it. It's part of it. So a screw can get a magnet? Oh. Well, I don't- Maybe ... yeah, because I had to unscrew it. A magnet can get a screw? Maybe. I would hope so. Yeah. Oh, look at that. See? All right, so there's one thing we did. All right, we figured that out. And then- So if you accidentally screw your water- Yeah. You can just get it out with a... And then afterward, then you put this down in there, and then if you're thirsty, because, you know, I think water's pretty important for survival. Yeah. You just reach over there and then you drink the water. And then if your straw goes all the way inside- Oh ... which is a problem sometimes, you stick your screw in- Yeah. And you grab it. Fish it out. And then it takes what the magnet was doing and... Okay. I mean, Malachi's here. I've enjoyed our- Yeah, let's, let's, let's bring him ... quality time, so. Not that we need him. All right. Okay, fellas. One more hint for you. Yeah. Have you ever been stabbed? I have, by a rabid opossum that wanted to steal all of my colorful trash. Nasty little bastard. I named him David Bowie, in honor of my favorite song to write poetry to, Under Pressure. Okay. I'm just gonna tell you, your hints haven't been that helpful. I mean, you made us think in the last round that we had to make a ladder, but you were just talking about making a s- stepstool? Yeah, I just kinda come out here and say whatever. That was not enough. And if it's helpful, great. And if not, well, I think we're all having a pretty good time anyway. Yeah, I'm having a good time. Yeah. I, I just don't know what we learned from what you said. Mm-hmm. Like, if there was any part of what you said that you think was more important than another part, maybe we could- What's the most important part of what you just said? Well, I think you need to open up your mind using some wine I make myself in a toilet. It'll help you see four-dimensionally. Opossum. Mm-hmm. You think that part was important? I don't know. Yeah. You said, you said you were stabbed. Have you been stabbed? David Bowie. You were stabbed by a raccoon. No, an opossum. An opossum. All right. I think it's Rhett. I'll leave you guys to figure it out, but one more hint. In a pinch, a third thing can be used as a replacement wife, okay? Oh, we just figure out which thing it is? Nope. Does- Hey, check this out ... doesn't work, actually. Look. I'm like Uri Geller, okay? Watch this. You see this? And you put it on top, and then I'm, like, balancing it, and I, like... Oh, oh, no, no. And you do this, and then- Oh. Oh. And if that's... Oh. Oh, ho, ho. Take me on- Me on- ... Boogie woman- Around the world ... Tonight Show. Around the world. Okay, um- W- he didn't say anything that I latched onto. I think we need the other, the other thing, so Chase- Colorful trash? Chase, what, what do we try to do? So, uh, you're, you're out in nature and you've peed behind your special tree, and now you need to wash your hands, but you don't wanna waste all of your precious water by simply pouring it out. You want something that works like a campsite faucet. Good thing you have this hack. Okay, so you wanna be able to... We already have the hole in this. You wanna be able to turn it over and then hamster out the water. See? Like that. You just wanna hamster it out. You know those, those, um- Oh, put the screw in it. Put the screw in it? Oh, put the screw in it. Put the screw in it this way. And put the magnet on the other side. Yeah. Take it off. What? Yeah, watch this. And then- And then put the magnet in here ... put the magnet there. And then put the screw in there. Put the screw there. Like that. Yes. And now screw it back in. And it'll do the, it'll do the hamster thing, because it'll be tight on there, but then when... Turn it over. And now turn it back up. See? No, that didn't do it. H- hold on. I have a better idea. Let's do the exact opposite. That seemed great in my mind. I, I think... I don't, I don't love the fact that the screw is... Do you need both magnets? Oh, together. The magnets together. The magnets are together. That's what we didn't do. What? The magnets need to be together. Because you think that's gonna seal the hole? On the other side. So there's one magnet here, and then you do the other magnet- Over here? ... on the... But you gotta pull that off. I gotta pull this off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And y- but you want these to stick together. Four minutes, 20 seconds. Yeah, then you stick that through. And put that through that. And then you put that on. Yep. Then you put this on. And that'll be watertight. So you're just carrying magnets when you're surviving? Yeah, yes. Who, who isn't? And now you turn that over. See? Now, it shouldn't be doing anything. Under pressure, that's the thing he said. You can ask about some decoys. Yeah. Is the... Uh, are the magnets a decoy? No, they're not. The magnets are a decoy. All of that for- So I can just keep them? All right, so what- Yeah, you can keep them ... what we need to do is... I wouldn't wanna put the screw into the straw. Put... I think the screw's a decoy. I would wanna put- Just put that through it. Yeah, and now... If I turn this over, it just pours out. It just pours out. Oh, oh, oh. I know, I know, I know. Okay. Get the other straw out. Or just, can we have another straw? Oh yeah. Watch this. Look at that. The easiest part of survival is having someone just off camera. Watch this. So take this and insert it in- So you're making a longer straw? Yeah, take this and put it- So that it goes all the way to the top? So it gets all the way to the air pocket on the other side. Now turn it over. All right, now when we turn it over- Turn it over- ... what's gonna happen? ... it will stop. It's just 'cause you don't have it fully tight. Why don't we- ... have it fully tight? 'Cause you didn't tighten it. Well, listen, that's not my job. Yeah. Yeah, that's your job. Okay. So now... And now push. You have less than two minutes left. Uh- Oh, I know what it is. The spoon catches the water. Is the spoon a decoy? The spoon is a decoy. Yeah. Okay, scrap. That didn't help us. See, we haven't used the screw, but I don't think... The screw? That's how you wet your screw. We've used everything. Not the toilet paper. You haven't really used the screw. We- And then there is also the toilet paper. Is the screw a decoy? You can't ask about any other decoys. Ah. Well, you can, I just won't answer. Maybe the screw goes in the side, but then it's gonna really flow. Why don't you just pinch it? 30 seconds. It's just coming through there. Can we use the bubble gum from the earlier round? I can't believe that the magnet is a decoy. I was out at that point, you know? The, 'cause I, I really invested everything into these magnets emotionally. It, it, it felt like it was working. 15 seconds. Well answer me this. You haven't used that screw at all? Is the straw... Are, are we doing the right thing with the straws? Uh, you put, you put a straw into the lid, which was good. But, uh, you have run out of time, which means you- Failed ... lose an additional five points. Failed. Do you wanna see how it's supposed to go? But we still won. You did still win. We won after losing. But we lost in our hearts. That's fine. Let's see. We lost in our hearts. Let's see. Let's just see. He's got the things that we have. Well, of course he does. No, just the three things that we used. Oh. Yeah, straw. Only one straw, and I bet you he puts another straw. What's he do with this screw? Ah, he did what I said not to do, which is put a hole in the side. And then another straw. What? What? We never would've gotten that. How the... What? What in the world? Now, that's magic. I mean- How do you do- You're, you're just, you're sending water- ... just everywhere, by the way. Yeah. And then another straw What? What? Yeah. But y- What? But you got a double straw in there. That's probably not gonna work. Ugh. Yeah, I think you gotta make a bigger hole. Yeah, you gotta ream it a little bit. And, uh, you just got all of our gum wet. This is amazing. Really hard to do. You're firing so much water out the side of... How did he do what he did? I think you do it before you fill it with water. No, you didn't. I mean, somehow he did it that way. Somehow he did it. See, we're, what we're doing is we're proving that he's just full of malarkey, man. That's why we call him Mad Dog Malarkey. So right there. Malarkey. And then you squeeze. But by pulling the straw out of the water, you're letting air into the jug, and that air replaces the water even below, creating a steady stream that you can turn on and off without wasting precious water. That's crazy. I mean, that might be one of the most amazing things I've ever seen. Not, not what Lucas was doing. Link trying to get that- ... straw into the bottle. But we, we still won. We still, we came out the other side. Somehow. And it's not about thriving, it's about surviving. Surviving. Thanks for commenting. That means you win the special prize. You win a special prize- Oh, we do get a prize? ... of the great outdoors, and you get to end the episode outside in the fresh air. Okay. Oh, my God, the outside. I've heard about this. Is it safe to breathe it? No, no, no, don't. Hold your breath. Hold your breath. Okay. Thanks for commenting and sharing this video. You know what time it is. Get back inside. Ah. Oh, no. Hi, my name's Shay, and I'm from Northern Colorado. I'm hiking on the Link Trail, and it's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality. You've been out here building trails. I didn't even know it, man. Well, apparently I have 962 more trails. Well, then we gotta find them all. All right, we are going to donate $1,000 to the Equal Justice Initiative to aid in their mission to end mass incarceration and excessive punishment in the United States. And you can join us in giving at the link below. Yeah. And click the top link to watch us try Taco Bell's newest menu items in Good Mythical More. Join my dad, Charles, and me as we talk all things under the sun in our latest episode of Dispatches From Myrtle Beach. Happy birthday. No, y- Oh. You cannot... All right, now I get to go first.