Channel: Good Mythical Morning
YouTube Video ID: jmPhtMyLcBs
Episode Number: 3109
Transcript
- What if we communicated through... - [Device] Food? Let's talk about that. [Good Mythical Morning theme song] - Good Mythical Morning. - Humans have been using their mouths to communicate since, like, forever. - Yeah. - So today feels like a great day to evolve and learn to speak with our... - [Device] Food. Food. Food. - Yes. This is the Playtronica Playtron device. It basically takes conductive objects like food, plants, and turns them into touch inputs that trigger pre-programmed sounds. So think of all the amazingly profound things that can be said with this technology. - [Device] Food, food, food, food, food, food, food, food. - Or that. How about we just create a fun game with it? (air whooshing) (bright music) - Hey, we're here in front of a bunch of fruits and Jordan. - Hi. (everyone laughing) - What's up, dude? - Hi, everybody. I'm more of a vegetable, I guess. - [Rhett] Yeah. You give vegetable energy. - Well, you're pretty responsive. - That's true. (laughs) I love to respond. Hey, and I love to watch you guys touch food. - Oh yeah. Well, we're about to do a lot of that. - [Jordan] So I'm gonna have a lot of fun. - Well, okay. So you know those, like the fridge magnets where you, like, take them and you make, like, a sentence. This is a more fun version of that. So essentially, we've got all these words in front of us. We actually have separate words, different words. And you know- - [Charles] Pray. - That's not a robot. - That is my dad. - [Charles] For. Me. (crew laughing) - I love how they forced us to touch a cactus in order to- - [Rhett] I got barbecue sauce on me. - [Charles] Me. - [Link] Say "Me". - [Charles] Passionately. (Jordan laughing) Cry. Thick. Slime. (Link laughing) - He says that to me all the time. - At your wedding, he stood up and did the toast. - Passionately cry thick slime. (crew laughing) - Okay, so we're gonna have a prompt. The same prompt for both of us. And we can only use the words in front of us. And then you're going to judge who has the better response. - Based on what criteria? That's gonna be up to you. - Yes, please cater to me. - And the loser of each round has to drink a smoothie consisting of all of the words that we used. - Yes. - So be careful. You might not wanna use a word- - [Rhett] There's two things going on. - [Link] If you don't wanna drink it. - You mean I don't want raw steak in my thing? - [Link] Well, they'll cook the steak. - Okay, they'll cook the steak. - All right, Jordan, what's our first prompt? - Your first prompt is, "Your child is all grown up and their prom date will be at the door any minute. What's the best last minute advice you can give them?" - Okay, advice to the kids or kid that's going on the prom date. We have familiarized ourselves with these, so we're not gonna struggle too much, but. Okay. You wanna go first? - Well, sure. - [Link] 'Cause I am gonna struggle a little bit. - Okay. Prom date advice. Okay. - [Charles] Do. No. Stroke. - [Link] Oh! - [Charles] Banana tip. - Oh, what? - [Rhett] Huh, huh, huh, huh. - [Charles] And. - [Link] Okay. Banana tip. - [Charles] No. Clumsy. Fingers. (Jordan laughing) Inside. - [Link] Ew! - I'm not done. - [Charles] Special. Carpet. (crew laughing) - Okay, Rhett, to summarize your advice- - [Rhett] Yes. - To a kid about to go to prom, do no stroke banana tip and no clumsy fingers inside special carpet. - Yeah. - Wow. - Yeah. - Yes. - The more you know. - All right. Same prompt. - [Jordan] Same prompt. - This is what I'm telling my kids- - A kid about to go to prom. - [Link] About to go to prom. - [Charles] Body. No. Go. Honk. Honk. (Jordan laughing) (crew laughing) And. No. Tongue. Honk. Honk. (Jordan laughing) And. No. Secretion. Secretion. (crew laughing) Sandwich. (crew laughing) - Sandwich? - [Charles] Sandwich. - [Rhett] All right. - So Link, to summarize your advice to a kid going to prom- - [Link] Yes. - Body no go honk honk and no tongue honk honk and no secretion sandwich. (Link laughing) - [Rhett] Yeah. Uh-huh. - You know what I mean. - Maybe I'm inexperienced. What in your mind is 'honk honk'? (crew laughing) - [Rhett] Yeah, right. - Well, here's a hint. - [Jordan] Just to clarify. Mm-hm. - It only takes two honks. - Okay, I am nowhere closer to what that means. Both very good pieces of advice. I think I'm gonna have to give it to Link solely on the phrase 'secretion sandwich'. - Yes! Right, 'cause that's very visceral. And you get that. - It is very visceral. - What you lose in 'honk, honk,' you gain with 'secretion sandwich'. - Yeah. Again, I don't quite know what you're getting at, but it just had a poetry. It hit the ear in a nice way. Kind of like the phrase 'cellar door'. You know, they say it's the perfect phrase. - Thank you for saying that. - Yeah. Secretion sandwich just, I don't know, sends me somewhere I like. - Yeah. - Okay, that means I gotta drink a bad smoothie. - Yeah, sorry. (air whooshing) (bright music) (blender whirring) So Rhett, your smoothie includes the ingredients apple, potato, clam chowder, seaweed salad, goat cheese, grapefruit, squash, milk, strawberry, Gouda, and beef. Girl dinner. (Link laughing) - The clam chowder is doing a lot of heavy lifting. - Oh! - Oh God. - Yeah, that might be good, apart from the clam chowder. - Yeah. Okay, I'll get a second sip. - [Jordan] Get a second sip. - No better. (Jordan laughing) No better the second time. (air whooshing) (bright music) All right, we got some new words this round. Here are mine. - [Link] It's a lot of words. - Yeah. - And here are mine. Also a lot of words. - [Rhett] Okay, what's our prompt? - Your next prompt is, "The three of us are stranded on a deserted island and the only way to survive is by eating one of us. Tell me why we should eat the other guy." - Oh, so you're definitely eating one of us. - Yes. - Like, okay. - Yeah, I'm surviving in this situation. - Yes. No matter what. - Okay. - Although it's a flawed premise, 'cause I think if we were all stranded on a desert island, I would volunteer to get eaten. - [Rhett] Oh. - I had a good run. And I feel like the world needs y'all, so. - You don't wanna be- - I would take one for the team. - The one responsible for the end of Rhett and Link? - No, of course not. - Okay. All right. - Yes, I would happily be eaten. But for the sake of this bit- - [Rhett] That's very selfless of you. - [Link] Thank you for saying that. - Okay. - We're eating one of the other guys. - Okay. And Link, you're up first. - Okay. Hmm. - [Charles] Big. Hair. No. O--y. (everyone laughing) - Okay. (laughs) - [Charles] I. I. O--y. And. Make. Pretty. Little. Boy. Boyfriend. (crew laughing) - Link, I'm blushing. (laughs) - Can I just point out a couple of things, just logistically? - Yeah. - If I'm gone and you guys are having sex, it's not an o--y. - Stay out of this. (Jordan laughing) - So Link, to summarize, big hair, no o--y. I o--y and make pretty little boyfriend. Oh, so I'm pretty little boyfriend. - No, no, no. I'm the... Wait. Yes. No. - Okay. - We're gonna o--y. - Okay, we're gonna o--y. - That's all that's clear. - And I'm dead. I'm dead. - And Rhett. - I've been eaten. - You got some big shoes to fill here. - [Rhett] Okay. - But I would love to hear your argument. - All right. Okay. - [Jordan] As to why we should eat Link. - Link. - [Charles] Me. Bring. Fishy. Discharge. - [Crew Member] Ew. (crew laughing) From. Knuckles. And, and, and. Taint. (Jordan laughing) - [Rhett] Okay. - [Charles] He. Smell. Flapjack. (crew laughing) (Jordan laughing) - [Jordan] Okay. - Get it? - Why are all these words so nasty? Like? - Just to summarize. - Yeah, yeah. - Me bring fishy, (laughs) me bring fishy discharge from knuckles and taint. He smell flapjack. - I mean, knuckles and taint. - What? - I feel like with that combination of words, like we just activated the Winter Soldier. (everyone laughing) Somewhere, an assassin just sat up. I mean, discharge from knuckles and taint is very good. Again, it has a musicality that I like. - Oh, okay, okay. Got it, got it. - Do I smell flapjack? - You do smell a little... Yeah, you smell a little flapjack. - Yeah, see? - But- - That's good. - I like flapjack as a smell. - Yeah. - I don't wanna do this to you twice in a row, but I like that Link smells like flapjack. And even though it was kind of a misunderstanding, I like being considered a pretty little boyfriend. (Rhett laughing) I've never been called pretty little boyfriend. I'm sorry, Rhett, but this one goes to Link. - Okay. (bell dings) - [Charles] Poop. (crew laughing) (air whooshing) (bright music) (blender whirring) - Rhett, your smoothie contains apple, cactus, cauliflower, clam chowder, seaweed salad, fig, jello, grape, shallot, pomegranate, and eggplant. - So it has clam chowder again? - Yep. - Yeah. - But maybe- - You're the one who keeps using it. - The grape will make up for it. - Sure. And the cactus needles. - Actually, it's a lot better. - [Jordan] Is it? - Oh no, it's still bad. (Jordan laughing) Oh. Oh God, that's got a bad aftertaste. - Hit you on the back end, huh? - Oh! - Yeah. Sorry. - Yeah. No second sip of that. - Sorry. Sorry. (air whooshing) (bright music) - Here are my words for this round. - Here are my words for this round. - [Rhett] What is our prompt? - Your next prompt is, "Read me the sexiest line from your new romance novel." - Which we both have our own romance novels. - [Rhett] Yeah. Upcoming. - You know? I know you're a published author in your own right many times over. - Well, sure, yes. So yeah. - Comic book writer. - Who better to critique? - Uh-huh. - Yes. - [Jordan] Okay, Rhett, you're up first. - Okay. - [Charles] Tease. Me. Greasy. Butt. Wrinkles. With. Firefighter. Cream. (Jordan laughing) By. Moonlight. - [Link] Oh! - And ended with a saucy little pose. - Yeah. - By moonlight. - Oh my gosh. - By moonlight. - So to summarize, whoo, tease me greasy butt wrinkles with firefighter cream by moonlight. - Would you like to know what firefighter cream is? - I would love to. I mean, I have a guess, but. - I don't think, not before you judge. - [Rhett] Okay, okay, okay, okay. - [Jordan] I'd love to hear from the author. - If you need clarification. - Uh-huh. - It's in demand. - Okay. Okay. - It's very in demand these days. - It's a highly in demand cream. - Me greasy butt wrinkles. - [Jordan] A popular... (Link laughing) - Buy me greasy butt wrinkles. - Tease me greasy butt wrinkles. - Yes. - Okay. - It's an Irish novel. - Yeah, kind of a leprechaun meets firefighter. - Yes. Yeah. - That old trope. - [Rhett] You see the vision. - Okay, Link, this is gonna be tough to beat. - [Charles] Me. Fantasy. - Okay. - [Charles] You. Shampoo. Nasty. Dog. (crew laughing) I. (Jordan laughing) Vacuum. Bedroom. (Rhett laughing) - So the sexiest line (laughs) of your new romance novel is, "Me fantasy. You shampoo nasty dog. I vacuum bedroom." - Okay. - So. - I'm not turned on. - Yeah. - So, this is a non-sexual fantasy where these- - Yeah. - [Jordan] Two characters are just cleaning up? - Yeah. Me fantasy. - Okay. I applaud this in many ways. I mean, sexuality is a spectrum, right? - [Rhett] Yes. - And some people would probably just rather wash a nasty dog. (Rhett and Jordan laughing) - Or have someone else do that. - Or have someone else do that. - And to each their own. - And to each their own. - While you vacuum. - Of course, but. - Hey, what about this? I'm vacuuming with my heel up. - [Rhett] Oh, hold on. That's my leg thing. - [Jordan] No. Yeah, that's Rhett's signature pose. - Okay. - That's by moonlight. - All right. All right. - Okay? - So I appreciate this, but as someone with greasy butt wrinkles, I appreciated being seen in your romance novel. I'm giving this one to Rhett. - Thank you. (bell dings) (air whooshing) (bright music) (blender whirring) - Link, your smoothie has apple, cactus, leek, Gushers, bread bun, Vegemite, grapefruit, squash, and milk. - That sounds good. - It'll be great for your gains. - Except for the Vegemite. Let's see what happens. - It'll add a little tang to it. (crew laughing) - [Jordan] No? (laughs) - Is Vegemite coming through? - Oh God, the Vegemite is so bad. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - [Rhett] It kind of steals the show, usually. - Ugh! Ugh! - Sorry, Australia. Vegemite ruins everything. (Rhett laughing) - Oh God. God, God, God. Milk with it. - Yeah. - Is there onions in it? Leek. Oh yeah. - Yeah. Leeks. - [Jordan] That's the leek you're tasting. - Ugh! Clean my dog. (Jordan laughing) (air whooshing) (bright music) - All right, here are my words for this round. - And here are my words. - Your next prompt is, "Tell me your deepest, darkest secret." - Oh, okay. Trying to use this power to your advantage. (Jordan laughing) - Yes. I will be blackmailing you all after this. - [Link] Okay. - [Jordan] Link, you're up first. - Just try to hear my dad as if he's whispering. I don't even know if he can whisper. - Right. - I've never heard him whisper. - [Charles] I. Paint. Tampons. And. Sold. By. Hospital. - Shh! Shh! - So your secret that you're confessing to via your father's voice is "I paint tampons and sold by hospital?" - So it's a business? - Yeah. - Yeah. - [Rhett] It's not just a hobby. - Right. It's an alter... - An alternate income source. - Alter identity. - Oh, okay. So you- - Yeah. - You know, apart from this- - Not anymore. - Go home and you paint tampons and sell them to hospitals? - By hospitals. They won't let me inside. - Okay. - Out back. Yeah, yeah. - [Jordan] You hang around and sell painted tampons. Okay. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Thank you, Link, for sharing that deep, dark secret. - Yeah. Yeah, I didn't want to. But you forced me to. - Rhett, please tell me your deepest, darkest secret. - Okay. - [Charles] I. Believe. Government. Drown. Uncle. With. Magic. Goblin. Train. (everyone laughing) - So this is like a conspiracy theory? - Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's not something I did. It's just something I believe. And I've been uncomfortable. - [Jordan] Right, so some people, like, think the moon landing was fake. - Yes, I've been uncomfortable with confessing it. - Okay. - 'Cause I don't wanna be judged, but yeah- - Right. - I believe my uncle was drowned by the government. - With a magic goblin train? - Magic goblin train. Yeah. - Okay. Wow. - [Link] Okay. (Jordan laughing) - Yeah, both very good secrets. Both very deep, both very dark. - Mm-hm. - I'm sorry. I think I'm a goblin train truther now. (Rhett laughing) (bell dings) I think you got into my brain. - Yeah. - I'm seeing the truth now. - How do you drown anybody with a train? - The magic goblin train goes underwater. - It goes... The Illuminati have had goblin trains this whole time, Link. - [Rhett] Yeah. - And they don't have windows? - No, you get on the train thinking it's a normal train. And then it goes underwater and the goblins are fine. The people die. - I now believe this. This is now my belief system. - What do goblins breathe? Water? Do they breathe? - Goblins can breathe underwater. Everybody knows that. But humans can't. - Oh. - Exactly. - Goblins got gills, man. - Goblins got gills. - Yeah. - Sorry, Link. Rhett was dropping truth bombs. - Yeah. (air whooshing) (bright music) (blender whirring) - [Jordan] Link, your smoothie contains apple, cake, Gatorade, fig, jello, pomegranate- - Yes? - Clam chowder. - Oh! - Sorry. - It was gonna be so good. - It was almost good. It was almost. I almost wanted a sip of it, but now I don't. - If I would've sold my painted tampons, man, by a wiffle ball, this would taste good. - [Jordan] Yeah. - [Rhett] That clam chowder. Yep, you're gonna taste it. - Yeah. - Oh. - [Charles] You. (crew laughing) - Yeah, me, Dad. I get it. - Leek down. Leek down. - Look at you, son. (Jordan laughing) - I wonder, have the writers just made clam chowder a very useful word so you always have to pick it? - Apparently. (air whooshing) (bright music) Okay, finally, here are my words for this last round. - And here are my words. - Your last prompt is, "What is the worst thing to say when seeing boobs for the first time?" - Okay. - This is great 'cause I've always wanted this to happen to me. (Rhett laughing) I do wanna know what not to say, should it ever happen. All right, Rhett. - First time ever seeing boobs. - [Jordan] Yeah. The worst thing to say. - Okay. - All right, Rhett, you're up first. - Hmm. Okay. - [Charles] Warning. Papa. Feel. And. Sniff. (Jordan laughing) And. Gobble. (crew laughing) You. Dirty. Pointy. Bongos. By. Arby's. (everyone laughing) - [Link] Not a sponsor. - [Charles] Amen. (Rhett laughing) - Amen. (laughs) So say we all. (Rhett and Jordan laughing) - Wow. - I mean, that would be a bad thing to say. - That would be a bad thing to say. - What was it? - To recap, when seeing boobs for the first time, you should not say, "Warning, papa feel and sniff and gobble you dirty pointy bongos by Arby's. Amen." (Rhett laughing) We have the meats. (Rhett laughing) - Dirty, pointy bongos. - Dirty, pointy bongos. - Yeah. Right, yeah. - [Link] Can we make that a thing? - Yeah. - Yeah. (laughs) All right, Link, (laughs) you're up. - I'm just gonna put myself in that place. (Jordan laughing) - [Charles] Mamma Mia! - [Rhett] Okay. (Jordan laughing) - [Charles] I. And. Me. Wife. - Oh, okay. - The plot thickens. - [Charles] Want. Give. Soft. Bounce. For. You. Delicious. Lunch lady. (Jordan laughing) Cream puffs. (Jordan laughing) - So to recap. - Okay, I see. I'm not sure I follow. - You should not say when seeing boobs, "Mamma Mia, I and me wife want give soft bounce for you delicious lunch lady cream puffs." (Rhett laughing) (Link laughing) Are the boobs in this situation are the lunch lady cream puffs? - Yes, sir. - Okay. - I like how you just included the fact that you were married right on top. - Right. - But have not seen boobs. So you've been married in this situation, but you've never caught your wife changing. - Well, I was just, I was thinking it was strategic for me to include my wife in doing anything to anybody's boobs. - That's smart. - Yeah. Smart. - That's really smart. (Jordan laughing) But in this world, you've been married, but have not seen the boobs. - Yes. - Okay. - I did say that, I guess. - Okay. Boy, two very, very strong entries, but. Oh God, I think I'm gonna have to give it to Rhett just 'cause Arby's reminded me of horsey sauce. (Rhett laughing) - Are you serious? (bell dings) - I love the stuff. - Amen. - I can't get enough horsey sauce. - Amen, brother. - So yes, he just said a restaurant I liked. - [Link] All right. (air whooshing) (bright music) (blender whirring) - [Jordan] Link, I'm sorry, you will be drinking apple, cake, cactus, barbecue sauce, leek, Vegemite, grape, pear, milk, strawberry, shallot, eggplant, egg whites, and beef. - Oh, yum. - Mm. - [Rhett] That was a long sentence. It's quite a smoothie. (Jordan laughing) - [Jordan] How is it? - Tastes like banana. - [Rhett] Oh. - That's how bananas are made. - It's the one thing that's not in there. - Yeah. (everyone laughing) - Oh God. Thank you for being your Mythical best. - [Charles] You. Know. - What time it is. (crew laughing) - I'm Avery, and we're from Camrose, Alberta, Canada, but right now we're on the Red Deer River on a boat that our dad built. - I'm Shelby, and it's- - [Together] Time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality. - Whoo! - Whoo! (water splashes) (wheel clicking) - Dang, Dad! - I know. I think they used the term 'boat' loosely. Kind of like a... It's a very amusing raft. - You don't know how far back it goes- - Yeah. - Off camera. Congratulations to Anna. We found that Cotton Candy Randy fan art out there on the internet. Thank you for that. And we're gonna reward you with a $100 gift card to Mythical.com. - Oh yeah, fan art. That's part of Merchicality. - It is now. - Make it happen. Join us in Good Mythical More to watch us rank our crew's evil laughs. - [Rhett] Unlock access to a community of Mythical Beasts and much more at mythicalsociety.com.