Channel: Good Mythical Morning
YouTube Video ID: tkTr2e38W5I
Episode Number: 3116
Transcript
- What surprises will we find in unclaimed mail? - Let's talk about that. (Good Mythical Morning theme song) Good mythical morning. - At some point in your life, you probably had a package go mysteriously missing. It's happened to all of us, but where did those packages end up? - Here. They all end up here. Or at least $400,00 worth of them anyway. - That's right. We spent $400,00 on a bundle of mail. There are places on the internet that you can go and buy this unclaimed mail. - Meant for someone else. - And we're going to open them up and see which is the bigger loss between the two items. - [Megan] Hi. - Hey, Megan. - [Megan] Hey there. (Megan chuckles) - How you doing? - [Megan] I'm doing good. How are you guys doing? - (clears throat) I'm doing pretty good, just waiting on the mail. (Megan laughing) - Ready for mail. - [Megan] Yeah, all right. Before the mailman comes in, I'm going to tell you a little bit about the episode. - Okay. - [Megan] You're each going to open a piece of unclaimed mail, and then you'll have to convince the Mythical crew that your item is better, more valuable, and a bigger loss to the intended recipient than the other guys. We're going to poll the crew in real time to see who wins. - We can still do that. - [Megan] You're going to go first. Okay. - Oh look, he's here, the mailman. - The mail guy. - Oh yeah, he's so great. - Hey guys. - So reliable. - Hey, what's up guys? - You had any dogs chase you today? - No, not yet, but two raccoons. - Oh yeah, it's that kind of week, huh? - If you bend over and spread, you can get that dog in you (laughs). That wasn't tasteful, was it? - I'm going to have you sign. - Yeah. - Good Lord, I apologize. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. - He still doesn't understand-- - Watch out. - My heart's racing, I don't know why. - That's how I think about it. - He doesn't understand what get, you got that dog in you. He thinks it's sexual, and it's weird. Are you choosing that, just what you took out? - No, I'm just pulling both of them out, but you pulled one of them out. - Okay. - You want to choose? You can choose. You can choose. - I'll choose the one that fate, I'll choose the one that fate gave me. - Okay. - Okay, and I want to just reiterate this, because we've done this a few times and we always tend to go into this commercial, don't hurt yourself, pitch, man. But really what we're supposed to be doing is we're supposed to be thinking about the individual out there who was supposed to receive this thing, and making the case for why it's a bigger loss for that individual. It's a slight update to our approach. - Okay. Oh, you know what I did? I cut through the styrofoam, I almost cut the... Through the... What is this? Through the wiring. Oh, look at that. Can we, can we, can we plug in, is that what you're doing? Okay, yes, yes, take that right there, plug that in right there. Let's see if this thing works. - Well, it is on, I can tell. - It's not unlike that fake mosaic thing that, that we saw in the-- - The dog. - In the rip offs episode. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But somebody, okay, all right, I can go with that. - [Megan] Okay, you got 30 seconds, starting now. - Look at this elephant, isn't it so great? Wouldn't you want to be the girlfriend who you come home from your trip to India and you receive this from your partner? That's what was going to happen, see, he forgot to order something. He forgot to get something in India, so he ordered it in the airport and then it never showed up. And now the relationship is over, and this guy is just going to sit on the corner of my desk where I don't need to impress any, any partner with a trip to India because I've never been. - [Megan] And your time's up. - Wow, that was real sad. A relationship that ended, okay. See what I got over here? - You know how it is when you go to the airport and you're like, "Crap, I didn't get her anything, maybe I can do it in the airport." - Mixsoon, mixsoon, mix when? Mixsoon, bean cream. This is some pricey skincare. - Open it, see if it smells like beans. - [Rhett] I don't feel right about that. - You want to use this? - No, I'm done. - What are we going to, what do you mean? It's ours now. - Okay. - Oh. - It smells expensive. It smells expensive, and now it's got some scissors in it. - [Megan] You're ready to make your closing argument? - Okay, yeah. - [Megan] All right, 30 seconds starts now. - There's a man somewhere out there, let's call him Tony. And Tony was thinking about beginning to dabble in Korean skincare and he was like, "I'm a dude, I can do it." But he was worried about his friend group, some really frat bro-y dudes. And he was like, "I know they're going to make fun of me, they're going to make fun of me for doing this." And he said, "You know what? You know what? Men can have great skin too, I'm going to do it." And he finally worked up the courage to get it, and you know what? It's sitting here on our desk, and now he has to sit there and rot in a pool of mascit, tos, mas, toxic masculinity. Is the word that I was trying to say. - Masket tosculinity. - Poor Tony. - [Megan] Great job guys, the polls are now open. - Did he break up with somebody as a result of this? - No, he broke up with a better version of himself that he could have been if he had embraced the fact that men can put Korean skincare products on their face as well. It's not just for women. (upbeat music) - [Megan] Okay, the results are in, but I'm going to read a few comments first. - Sure. - [Megan] Brittany said she wanted to give Rhett a pity vote because masket toxillinity was a hard listen. (Rhett laughing) - Yeah. - [Megan] Yeah. A lot of people are feeling real bad for Tony. - Yeah. - [Megan] Lauren said, "Link was refreshingly polite to the elephant. Rhett didn't even taste the bean cream." And Matt made me hold for an extra second so he could say, "Voting for Rhett because of the restraint he showed using the phrase bean cream." (Link chuckling) (Rhett clapping) - So where does that leave us? - I'll take it. - [Megan] So that leaves us with Rhett as the winner, 17 to six. - Oh, wow. - 17 to six. - It's a runway. - It's a landslide. - Toxic masculinity gets them every time. - Masc, I can't even say it wrong in the way you say it wrong. - Maxic tosculinity. Mastic toxicalinity. - All right. - [Rhett] Hey, he's back. - Of course he is. - What's up guys? - He comes every few minutes. - You're so consistent on your route, it's quick, it's a quick route. - Yeah, I'm really good at turning left. - And there you go. Got to let (indistinct). - Will you, will you sign my glove? - Oh yeah. - Is this for the mail, or just because you're a fan? - [Mailman] You guys are famous or something? - Oh no, no, no, no, definitely not. Definitely not. - Do you have to take a picture to prove it was delivered? - I do, but... - No. - I left my phone, so, they'll take my word for it. - You decide. - Go big or go home. - So you go first. See what you've got that somebody else expected. - It's apparel. - Another bag, another bag. - It's a t-shirt, it's a t-shirt. It's a, it's a church shirt. - Church shirt. - Jesus, the ultimate deadlifter. Oh, that's cool. And then you got the verses. - Very self-referential. - Luke 7:11, Luke 8:40, John 11:17. - It's really full. - Multiple references. - It's a good shirt too, it's sturdy. - [Megan] All right, your 30 seconds starts now. - I want to tell you a little bit about Doug, he's a youth pastor. He's a great youth pastor, and one of the things he does is every day at Vacation Bible School he breaks out a new T-shirt. And the kids are like, "Look at Doug's new T-shirt." And it really ingratiates him to the children, right? And he's got in his heart, he had his heart, he was going to wear this one on Friday, the last day of Vacation Bible school. He was like, "The ultimate deadlifter, I'm going to get them with that." It didn't come, and now he's just wearing a white tank top to Vacation Bible school, and he got fired. - Oh, wow. - [Megan] We're getting there. - He got fired. - He got fired, yeah. They said no tanks at VBS. - All right, and what I got here is a box within a box, Lush Essence niacinamide whitening toothpaste. - Oh, that's the good stuff. - Is it, niacinamide? - [Rhett] Yeah, there you go, just cut that top of the box right off. - Okay, and I did cut into the... (crew laughing) - Yeah, okay, so, all right, so it's worth a little bit less now. - Look at that. - Okay, it looks like silicone. - [Megan] Your 30 second starts now. - I don't think you're supposed to eat it. - Wow. What is this? Hold on, I don't even know what this is yet. Cherry blossom peach fragrance. - [Megan] Your 30 seconds restarts now. - Tammy went to Kyoto, and was just amazed by the cherry blossoms (gasps). And she's breathing deep like that (chokes), she got a cherry blossom (chokes) in there. And then she though she was going to die, but then she tasted it and she liked it and then she saw that this existed and she ordered cherry blossom tasting toothpaste and then it didn't come. So now she's just eating cherry blossoms and they give you diarrhea, and that's where I have a bad case of diarrhea. Remember that video? That's where it came from. - Wow, a little history lesson as well. - [Megan] We're going to send out that poll right now. - Send out the poll. (upbeat music) - [Megan] This was a close one, I'm going to read some comments before I reveal. Amy said she can't vote for Rhett for religious reasons. (Rhett laughing) A lot of people are mad about the diarrhea. - She was too. - [Megan] Someone was mad that you cut open the, the toothpaste. - [Link] Yeah. - [Rhett] That was unsettling. - [Megan] Not great for you. - Hashtag relatable? - [Megan] Hashtag relatable, yeah. You did lose, Rhett won 14 to 10. - Oh wow, this is my day. - No, those were your two rounds. - Okay, just so far I'm just saying, just so far, okay? - I disagree. - [Megan] Noted. - Okay, all right. - Hey guys, I'm actually a little late on this one. And they do want me to take pictures, so I am going to do that and then. Yep, thank you, okay. - You're welcome. - Jesus, in quite a hurry today. - What do we have here? We got a big box. - And we have a small package. - I'll let you have that one. Oh, electronics, electronics, that's value. Comfort strap with battery pack. So it's not the VR headset, it's just the strap. - Well, it's a battery pack and a comfort strap. - Well, I read that too, but for those of us who don't suffer from mastic toxiculinity. - Oh, so what, what is this? So this replaces-- - Your head gets tired after a while, your head starts hurting. Wow, ooh, that's nice. - Like that, you play games like this? - I don't believe that's how it works. - And maybe that goes right there. - [Megan] Do you want to, do you want to start your argument? - It goes there. - It goes in the back. Yeah, and then the battery pack, the battery pack goes on, fits into that right there. Something like that. - Okay. - But here you go, this is your thing, don't let me interfere. - [Megan] I'm going to start your 30 seconds now. - All Bobby wanted was to immerse himself in his fantasy world with his big booby anime... Girl. - [Crew Member] What? (crew laughing) You know how they are. - I don't. - I've seen them. But after five hours, boy, his head gets so tired and hurting that he needed this. And now at hour five, he's got to take it off, and take a break and realize that his life sucks versus continuing to be in the world of you know what. - [Megan] Link, are you okay? - What do you think? - I've never used a VR headset. - What do you think? - But I think I know what's in there. - [Megan] You seem a little sad today. - Well yeah, these people, they're expecting this stuff, and they need it and that's the value. That's what I'm presenting, it's just not connecting with our voters yet. - Oh, okay. - And it's musical. - Oh, okay. We have some press on nails. - Mm-hmm. - You can see. And then we've got the brush on nail glue, so we've got two different sets of press on nails, and the nail glue as well. - [Megan] All right, your 30 seconds starts now. - Let me tell you about Donna, she had the perfect stocking stuffer picked out for her two daughters. Initialed (chuckles) press on nails for Laura Alice and Sarah Faith. And, she was so excited because I took all the time to pick this out, and Laura Alice and Sarah Faith, they're going to love it. And then they ended up getting lost in the mail and she had to put a big old summer sausage in their stocking from their uncle. And you know what they did? They left and they went to their dad's home. Did I tell you that they're divorced, Donna and her husband? - [Megan] I'm going to cut you off there. - Okay, anyway, yes. Got to spend time at dad's house. - Yeah. - [Megan] Sending out the poll now. (upbeat music) - [Megan] The closest poll we've had yet. - Oh, oh. - Please give me one. - Well, Chubby wanted to mention that you have used a VR headset before, and that they have video proof. - Right, on this show, at this desk. - You know what I mean? That was after my presentation. - [Megan] Caleb was torn between big booby anime girls and summer sausage. (Rhett laughing) (Megan laughing) Brittany said points for Link, because the idea of not getting to spend more time with your big booby anime girlfriend is so scary. - Yeah, right. - [Megan] And Hitch said Rhett's stories are just better. (Rhett laughing) - Hey, I'll take it. - [Megan] So by one point, Link won. - Oh, yes. - Oh, dang. - Shout out to the anime characters of all sizes. (crew laughing) - Everywhere. - Be the first to know about merch drops, exclusive offers and more. - Yeah, sign up for Mythical newsletters to get emails and texts from us. - Plus you get 10% off your first merch order when you sign up today. - Yeah, sign up at mythical.com/newsletter. - Okay. - All right. - Yeah, yeah, I don't know, I haven't introduced myself before. Hi, I'm Chase. - Oh, hey Chase. - Hey. - Hey, yeah, sorry. My boss said I was to kurt previously, take time and introduce. - Yeah, don't be kurt, be Chase. - Yeah. And then, you said you're famous, right? Can I get a picture? - Yeah, yeah. - Cool, thanks, bye. - Okay. - [Megan] I don't know if that guy's a real mail man. - Who's choice is it? Yours? - Who's picking first, me? Okay. - [Megan] Yes. - This feels like almost nothing, but it's hard to say no to this pretty floral packaging, so I'll say yes to it. - Okay, what you got? That somebody else thought they wanted. Be careful with that cutting now. It's little. - Oh. - Don't be shy, take it out. - [Rhett] It's earrings. - [Link] Anything special about them? - Well, they're little, they're cosmopolitan drinks. Oh, look at that, look at that. Those are so cute. - [Link] They are very dangly. - Okay, all right. - [Megan] All right, you have 30 seconds starting now. - Let me tell you about Sarah, Sarah Jessica Parker, yeah, that Sarah Jessica Parker. She had her heart set on these, because her favorite drink has been a cosmo ever since Sex in the City. And you know what? She was like, "I'm going to get these, and just show people that I can have fun with my old character and show that I'm relatable." They didn't show up, now she's in a really bad mood. She's feeling horrible, and Matthew Broderick is going to have to go to the fundraiser without her. - (laughs) The fundraiser? - Yeah. - Are they still together? - Yeah, but maybe not for long. - In your world. All right, let me see what I got. No cutting, just ripping. Uh-oh. Y-S-W. Yes, somebody will. - What is it? - Yonder... - Pants? - [Link] Yes, somebody will open this. - Is it curtains? - I think it's a... I think it's table-- - It's a tablecloth. I think it's a tablecloth. Yeah, it's a tablecloth. - But it has cherry blossom, is that cherry blossoms? It's just a beautiful, well, it has a peacock on it. - Is this upside down? - It's an upside down peacock. - Upside down peacock table. - And then the other one matches? Well, what a gift. What a gift. - [Megan] Your 30 seconds starts now. - Betty was planning the dinner party, but she got so zealous with invites that she ran out of tables. So in order to just having two tables, well, she had to. She said, "The key to this dinner party is that your tables look the same, even though one of them's a card, card table." So I have to get these peacock scene on there, and then when it doesn't show up, she's got half her party sitting at a card table and egg's on her face. Literally. She got so upset she put egg on her face. What an embarrassing first and last dinner party for Betty. - [Megan] All right. - Your tables have to match. - That's harsh. - [Megan] Nobody listen to the last 10 seconds of what Link said. - It doesn't count. - The tables have to match. (upbeat music) - [Megan] Galen said, "I appreciate Rhett's realism and girly puppetness." I hope I said that right. Yeah, a lot of people are really happy with Rhett appealing to the girlies. Amy wanted to know, "Is Link still on Lexapro?" (crew laughing) - I'm trying to be sad so that you'll be sad for the people that didn't get their thing, you're missing the point. I'm not making you, me making you sad is why you should vote for me. - Yeah, he's right. - It's, what is going on, guys? - Yeah, he's right. - Don't you understand? The sadder you are, the better I'm doing. - Yeah. - [Megan] Track record does not show. The winner of this round is Rhett, 16 to nine. - Okay, hey, it'll be okay. Yeah, I agree with you, you're doing a great job. - I know, they're sad and they just don't know how to vote. But I do like the fact that you're saying their names, so that I can hold a grudge against them. In previous times, you wouldn't, we didn't hear who was giving the comments. - Right, yeah, I like this version. - [Megan] People, people want to talk, I'll let them talk. - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. - All right. Okay, he's back. He's doing selfies the whole time now, maybe that's even a video. - Okay, all right, and you know what? Just, we'll take it. It's like it's in there, but we're just, you can hand it to us. - There you go. - Yep, yep. - Oh gosh. Who's choosing, you? - [Megan] Link's choosing first. - Big heavy box. I'll take the big heavy. Okay. And I'm not on Lexapro, I'm on Zoloft. (Rhett laughing) - [Megan] Oh my God, same, how many milligrams? - [Rhett] Not a sponsor. Well, good Lord. - I'm also going to be on Create creatine monohydrate gummies. - That's a lot of creatine. - It's every color of the rainbow. - Hold on, this is a good one. Somebody was about to get swoll. - [Megan] Rhett, don't (indistinct). - Yeah, yeah, don't worry. - Look at the, look at the bulk represented here. - Can we open? - Why, why not? Man, how much do you think this stuff costs? - This is a lot of creatine. - It's not cheap. - And that is a big-- - How much is in a gummy? Four and a half grams in three gummies, so just one ain't gonna hurt. - Sour green apple, mm, builds lean muscle, improves recovery, increases energy, boosts cognition, makes people want to vote for your presentation. - Mm. - [Megan] One of those jars is $25,00, just one. - Yeah, this is a lot of creatine. Can I have an apple? - Pretty good, we're assuming this is a reputable place. Take three gummies per day. - [Megan] All right, your 30 seconds starts now. - Chip's the manager at the gym, for pride month, he had this idea. (crew laughing) - It's pretty good. - Put this out there on the table, and when they didn't come in and he had to proceed with just regular gray creatine, well, the LGBTQ+ communities all canceled their membership and the gym went under because it was quite the gay gym. I yield my time. - Okay. - That's quite a... - What? - Sad. I'm going to have to get on Zoloft. - Are you? - See, I can't help but be sad about it. - [Megan] Yeah, maybe you need a higher dose. - Okay, well, I got to keep going here. - It helps your muscles retain water or something. Ooh. - Swans. Swans. - [Link] Look at, look at how delicate it is. - Wow, that is beautiful, is that a real diamond? There, right there? - [Link] Yeah, that is a real diamond. - That is wonderful. Okay. - [Megan] All right, your 30 seconds starts now. - Teresa is a local zookeeper, and recently, two of her favorite swans, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, passed away in a tragic accident with a drone. - There you go. - And in order to pay homage to them, she got this and she was like, "This is a perfect way to remember them." It never showed up, so she had to take their ashes, because she did burn them once she got all the parts. And then she spread them into the fish pond, and then a bunch of fish died, and now she's got to gut Crystal's fish. And the cycle continues. - [Megan] All right. That was... - And she's gay. - There you go. - [Megan] No, no, didn't make that in. - No, no, she's gay, she's gay. - [Megan] She's straight. (upbeat music) This was an absolute shutout. Matt wanted you to know that when Link said gay gym, it reminded him of his uncle, gay Jim. (Rhett and Link laughing) Brittany wanted Link to know that she also takes Zoloft and that she supports you, and you should remember that for end of year reviews. - Okay. - Okay. - [Megan] Nick said, "I like swans." - Thank you. - [Megan] Yeah. - Somebody. - Dead ones? - [Megan] Lauren said, "Way to make glass menageries sad, Rhett. Unfortunately, Rhett-- - Monogamy or menagerie? - [Megan] You did not get this point, it was a shutout 25 to one, Link. - Thanks, Nick. (crew laughing) - [Megan] But Rhett, you still won. - Yeah, inclusivity. - Yeah, but I still got three out of five rounds though, so I get to take whatever. - I don't feel great about using inclusivity to my advantage. - Yeah, right, uh-huh. - So I'm kind of good that I lost overall. - I think I'm going to take an item of my choice home, and it's going to be these earrings. - [Megan] Oh. - But Nick, we want you to have this. - [Nick] Oh, thanks. - Yeah, he likes swans. - You like it? - And we'll just leave these out on the, in the kitchen, so everybody gets creatine. - Yeah. - Whenever they want it. - Thanks for being your Mythical best. - You know what time it is. - Hi, my name is Emily Jones. I'm a teacher from Dallas, Texas, where today for homecoming we had celebrity dress up day, and I dressed up as Rhett. And it's time to spin the wheel of mythicality. - And I wonder if everybody thought you were Jesus. (Rhett and Link laughing) - Maybe so. You got to have a Link there. - Unless you maybe had a GMM shirt on. Okay, we've got some unsolicited advice for Gus. Should Gus quit his job and move to New York City to become a Broadway star? You know Gus, there's a city next to Sanford, North Carolina called Broadway. - Just go there. - Yeah. - Join us in Good Mythical More to watch us rank cringey t-shirt themed, teacher themed t-shirts. Teacher themed t-shirts. - Mastic toxiculinity. Sign up for Mythical newsletters now, and get 10% off your first order at mythical.com.