Today, we’re gonna relaaaaaaaax. -Let’s talk about that…? ♪ (theme music) ♪ -Good mythical morning! -Today a new sketch is live on the Rhett and Link channel as part of Sketchtober, where we’re putting out five– count ’em–five sketches, one each Thursday for the entire month of October! -Woohoo! -So there’s more to come. This week’s sketch is called, “Campin’.” -I really feel like we’re connecting with our ancestors. You know, like, they were “one with nature.” -They were nature. -That’s what we are right now. -We are nature. -(caveman voice) We nature! ♪ (drum beat) ♪ -So, head on over to the Rhett and Link channel and check it out. -(reciting together) Patty cake, patty cake… -(Rhett) We’re… -(reciting together) …baker’s men. -Because on Thursdays, we like to bake pies. We reach out to you on Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter in search of the freshest, most perfect question ingredients. And then we take those ingredients, and we lovingly mix them together in a bowl. We then create a doughy, delicate “answer crust,” that we fill with your question ingredients. Then we place them in the oven at 350 degrees for 25 to 30 minutes, until the fully-formed answer pie is ready. (yelling) But don’t touch it just yet! It’s gotta sit on the windowsill to cool. -Hummmmm… This week we asked you guys for relaxation advice, and we’ve got some “answer pies” for y’all. -We do! We got a question from (pronouncing with difficulty) “Dah-rah” O’Connor, who asks… -Question mark? -…”How do you relax with a hectic schedule?” -(Reading together) “How do you relax with a hectic schedule?” -All questions now in unison! -Um, easy, easy answer to this. We both do this a lot. Um, take a break from our hectic schedules by surfing! -Yes! Uh-huh. -Super-relaxing, become one with -nature in the ocean. But it’s not quite that simple, -(surfer voice) California, maaan. because there’s other surfers there. -Yeah, lot’s of ’em! -And where there’s people, there’s stress. One time recently–you were not there… -Yeah. -I went to Surfrider Beach in Malibu, a very popular place. -Thanks for not inviting me. -And there was like 80 surfers out there. And I’m out there, stand-up paddle boarding, ok? -(Sarcastically) It’s the coolest way to surf! Standing up! -Well, you really draw attention to yourself. Because, well, you’re standing above the water, and everybody else is floating, waiting in line to get waves. But then, as I’m waiting in line to get up there, I noticed, ah! One kindred spirit. And an old man shows up on a stand-up paddle board. -Usually old men are all on stand-up paddle boards. -And this dude, this dude’s fit, and he looks like a drill instructor with like a crew cut. Like white hair crew cut though. -Oh, yeah, the best! -He’s like talking to people and saying things like… -(Rough, deep voice) “Hey, man!” -…Skipping everyone and getting to the front. -(Rough deep voice) “Hang-ten.” And, ah, so then he just starts taking waves. But all of a sudden, I hear, um, he’s yelling. -Oh. -He’s yelling at somebody, and I look, and it is a man in the water on a long board who is just as old as he is. Like, gray-haired dude. And he’s like, (forceful voice) “You dropped in on me! You cut me off on my wave! Don’t you ever do that again! I will SPEAR you with this thing!” -Whoa! -And you really can kill a person with a paddle board if you hit ’em with it. Trust me, I’ve done it by accident many times. No, I haven’t! -Not killed. -I’ve almost killed people. I really have. -We haven’t killed anyone. In any circumstances. -So it was not an empty threat… -Except that one time. -…but it was a stressful situation because I was really close to this guy. My kindred spirit. The rooster man, with his chest puffed out, like, paddle-boarding around. And he’s like, “I will knock you in the head if you do that again.” And then he starts using all this colorful language that I’m not gonna repeat. -Droppin’ bombs. -You know, telling the guy what he should do with himself and all types of stuff. -Wow. -And it’s like, I just start backing outta there because I feel guilty by association. Like, we’re not–just because we’re both standing up, and we’re the people that everybody’s looking at, doesn’t mean that we are in cahoots! -Right! -And, um, but the other guy’s not saying anything. I feel horrible for him. -Yeah, mmhmm. -And then all of a sudden, outta nowhere, he’s like, he looks up at ‘im, and he’s like, (low, threatening voice) “I am a Navy Seal. I will kill you with my bare hands.” -Oh gosh. -And, and part of me was like, “This is so weird… -You were like, “I’m going to, I’m going home.” -I–I–I gotta paddle outta here!” But the other part of me was like, “That’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard anybody say in person.” -He probably didn’t–he probably just says that. -No, he… -He probably just goes to that line. -No, then he jumped up, and he killed the man with his bare hands. -(scoffs) Oh-ho! Really? But he did not. But here’s the question… -He didn’t, but it freaked me out. He could have. -How does that answer Darragh’s question: “How do you relax with a hectic schedule?” -Don’t go surfing! -Oh! Ok, don’t go surfing! Alright, now it’s time to visit another weird website in a segment we call, “The Internet is a Weird Place.” Thanks to our friends over at Squarespace. And today we’re going to be visiting a site that requires you to do nothing. -Oh, sounds good! DoNothingFor2Minutes– the number 2–Minutes.com -Let’s go there now. Oh, lookit! Oceans theme. -Hmm, very nice. Relaxing. -Do nothing for two minutes. Here’s the timer. Just relax and listen to the waves. Don’t touch your mouse or keyboard. -Well, that’s the first thing I’m gonna do. You don’t tell me what to do, website! -Alright, so it just reset it. -I’m not gonna listen to you. -Reset two minutes. -Who are you!? Why do you have authority in my life? -It’s trying to get you to relax, Rhett. -I don’t wanna relax. -Well, y-you can do anything you want, like… -That’s two minutes! Two minutes of my life that I could do something like– touch the mouse again! -Oh, but now it reset again. I mean, I’m gonna… -What? -…I’m just gonna get on my phone. -Oh! -It doesn’t know that I’m on my phone. -Oh, that’s a good thing. -But that defeats the purpose. This is kind of like meditation, but forced. -Ah, well you know what? That kind of reminds me: You may remember a few weeks ago, ah–famous wrestlers from the ’90s. -(in unison) Randy and Dandy Mandy! -Yes! -Yeah, they got that VHS series, and we looked at the video where they… -“How to Eat Not Like a Dork!” -“How to Not Eat Like a Dork!” You remember it! -Yeah! -Well, you know what? Lucky for us, they have handled, or tackled, a lot of different issues… -Like body slams. Issues. -…including meditation. Including meditation. -Right! -They’ve got a series on mediation. -I remember it! -You do! -We should show ’em a clip! -And we found that tape too. Here it is. ♪ (intense rock music) ♪ -(Rhett in tough, growling voice) I’m Randy! -(Link in similar voice) And I’m Dandy! -(In unison) We’re the Mandy Brothers! Randy and Dandy Mandy! -(Link/Dandy) And we’re gonna teach you how to meditate not like a dork. -The key to meditation is to clear your “mind dumpster” of all that “thought garbage”! -And the only way to clear your mind is to repress everything! -Repress it hard, brother! -(Unison) Re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re! -Don’t deal with your emotions! Squish ’em into a bloody pulp! -Get some stuff to symbolize your thoughts. I like cans! -I like teddy bears! -This is a thought I just had about lunch. (slapping can) I should’ve ordered nachos! -This is the regret I feel for dumping Sandy! (Yells like a maniac) She’s pretty cool, now that I think about it. -This is a thought I just had about half nelsons. (Can makes unsatisfying splatting sounds on Rhett/Randy’s chest) -A half nelson is just a waste of half of a full nelson. (laser SFX) (Rhett/Randy grunting, Link/Dandy yelling as if electrocuted) -This is a thought I had about the way that Sandy used to push her hair back behind her ear. (laser SFX) (Link/Dandy grunting and growling) -Come back to me Sandy. We can piece it together. (Starts crying) -Come on, man! Suck those tears back in. That’s pure strength fallin’ outta your head holes, man! (Link/Dandy whining pathetically) -(Rhett/Randy) It’s okay. -(Link/Dandy mournfully) Sandy! -(Rhett/Randy softer) It’s gonna be okay, man. -(Link/Dandy whining) I messed up the bear. -Yeah, you did. -(Link/Dandy weeping) I don’t know how to fix the bear. -(Rhett/Randy softening his voice more) We can get another bear, man. -(Link/Dandy inconsolably) I don’t want another bear! I want this bear! -But, but…that bear has no significance. We just bought it for you to rip it for the video. -(Link/Dandy crying again) It was special to me! It’s a special bear! (Link/Dandy moaning and crying) -(Rhett/Randy with tough voice again) I’m Randy! -(Still crying) And I’m Dandy! -(Unison) We’re the Mandy brothers. Randy and Dandy Mandy! -(Link/Dandy in faux tough voice) And you just learned how to meditate without being a dork! -Not like a dork! -(Link/Dandy whining) Not like a dork. -Not like a dork! You’re gonna be fine, man. -(Rhett normal) I really hope Dandy figures things out with Sandy. It seems like he really misses her. -(Link normal) Yeah. Share your weird websites [that] you find with us at TheInternetIsAWeirdPlace.com! Click on “Submit a site”! If we pick yours, we will credit you on the show. -And remember, you can win a limited- edition “The Internet is a Weird Place” T-shirt by designing and building your own weird website with Squarespace. Last month’s theme was “Animals,” and the winner is RandomGoat.com by Jeremy Hancock! -You never know what goat you’re gonna get! Now, new theme, new month. This month’s theme is (monster voice) “Scary!” -Oh, man! -So, to win a T-shirt, click on “Make your own site.” You’ll get a free trial of Squarespace and ten percent off the creation of your website. -And remember, after your site is complete, go back and click on “Submit a site” for it to be entered into the monthly contest. -Our next question comes from Madison Ostermeier, who asks, “How do I relax when I have to pee, but I don’t want to get up?” -Oh! That’s simple. -(Link) We’ve been wearing these! We didn’t have to get up; we just got up to show you. We could stay right here. -That’s right. We always have those on. -Adult diapers. Next question. Preston Forrest: “How do you relax?” -Well, you know, besides surfing, I find that I like to go to my go-to reese–res-s… -(Link imitating Rhett’s pronunciation) Recess-source. -Resource, when I wanna learn how to do anything. And that is, of course, wikiHow! And we went to the wikiHow: “How to Relax” page. The advice was so mind-blowingly good… -(Mockingly) Oh, yeah! So good! -…that we thought we had to take it verbatim and just demonstrate it for you. So here it is. ♪ (Calming music) ♪ -(Rhett in calming voice) How to Relax: According to wikiHow. -(Rhett) Stay away form social media outlets. Try to spend some time away from these things to help reduce your anxiety. -Hey, which filter do you think highlights the warmth of my beard tone? -Stay away! ♪ (Video game chime) ♪ -(Rhett) Take active steps toward making time where you are unreachable. -Hey, man, there’s something on your shirt. I can reach it. -I’m unreachable. ♪ (Video game chime) ♪ -(Rhett) Create “your” space. It doesn’t matter if it’s a chair in a corner and some lit incense or a room full of golden and burgundy pillows. -Why you paintin’ one pillow gold and one pillow burgundy? -Cuz I’m relaxing! ♪ (Video game chime) ♪ -(Rhett) Give hugs. Go on the positive offensive and reach through to people who seem down and negative. -(Sadly) I’m so down and negative. (Bodily impact noise) -(Forcefully) I’m on the positive offensive, man!! ♪ (Video game chime) ♪ -(Rhett) A little animal time can go a long way. If you don’t have your own pet, consider borrowing your friend’s dog. (Rhett breathing hard) -Hey, what are you doing, man? -I’m just borrowing him, man! ♪ (Video game chime) ♪ -(Rhett) This has been How to Relax: According to wikiHow. -Now you have no excuse for not relaxing! -Thanks for liking, commenting, subscribing, and relaxing. -You know what time it is! -Hi, I’m Maya. -And I’m Kaylee. -(Unison) And we’re from British Columbia, Canada. And it’s time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality, (Canadian accent) eh! -Make sure you check out the new Campin’ sketch on the Rhett and Link channel: Youtube.com/RhettandLink. And the link is in the description. -Click through to Good Mythical More. We’re gonna open your mythical mail, including these custom-made Good Mythical Morning plush dolls! Amazing! Take a peek. (Beepy voice) Peek! Peek! -(Rhett reading) Two short-necked giraffes. -(Nasal voice) Well, Bob, another day on the ha–savanna. -(Gravelly voice) I wonder what those leaves would taste like. -Oh, you mean… -I only get the drippings from other long-necked giraffes… -Giraffes, yeah. -…which is a typical giraffe. They all have long necks, which is weird that we don’t. -They look so tasty. If we could just stretch our necks. Let’s try! (Pitious moan) -Nope. Aw, gimma a boost. -(Uncertain) Okay. -Ah, lean forward. Lean forward. Not gonna be safe, ok? (Rhett giggles) -(Link) I’m going up. (Rhett makes rising nasal tones) -(Link) I’m getting it! -Now, how weird is it going to be when, like, my wife rolls over in bed, and I’m, like, snuggling with myself. -(Jen giggles) Oh, gosh. -Well…I guess you’re saying that you’re gonna do that, huh?