GMM 868: Worst Parking Jobs – RANKED

Today we determine the worst parking job ever. Let’s talk about that. ♪ (theme music) ♪ – Good Mythical Morning! – Now, I tend to think of myself as… – …an above-average parker. – Mhm? I keep it straight: no diagonal parking. I don’t touch the lines. I don’t touch… – …other cars, generally. – Oh, that’s good. – Above-average, not perfect. – But there are many, many people… …who are absolutely horrible at parking. And thankfully the Internet is there to… – …receive photographic evidence… – Mhm. …of this. So today, we are gonna take that photographic evidence and determine the absolute, worst parking job ever. It’s time for RANKED! – (whoosh and crash) ♪ (rock music) ♪ – (Link) Worst parking jobs! As you can see, we have the RANKED board behind us, upon which we are going to determine the top 5 worst parking jobs ever. And in order to make an impartial decision, we have asked five… …different crew members to present what they think is the worst parking job… – …ever, starting with Alex. – (Link) All right, Alex. – (Link laughing) Look at… wow. – (Rhett) Whoa. – So is THIS the bad parking job? – I’m going with the car in the middle. – Okay, car in the middle. – That’s an Accord. The central Accord there, yeah. Well, as you can see, he seems to have had… – …a few issues here. – (both laughing) Honestly, I think you’ll see a lot of parking jobs in this series where, you know, maybe someone fell asleep, and something happened. Or maybe… – …they got confused. – You’re already hedging against the… – …competition. – (Alex) Just sayin’. – Okay. – But legitimately, no one has any idea… – …how this could have happened. – How did this happen?! – (Alex) It is an impossibility. – No, stunt driving. There’s people… …who can do that. They can be going down the road, and they can do this thing and… – all of a sudden they’re on two wheels. – Sure, there’s a Walmart… …stunt driveer, you know, who’s at the parking lot. – Stunt driveer? – (everyone on and offscreen laughing) – (Alex) Stunt driveer! – (Rhett) French Walmart. – Jean Paul the stunt driver… – (Rhett laughing) …was at Walmart, and things got out-of-hand pretty quick, I guess. And there he was. And then he decided, “Yeah, I’ll just get out here, I guess.” – (crew laughing) – (Link) I think what happened was… …this Accord was on the other side, and then backed up instead of… …going forwards, and came up over that Volvo. Objection. Uh, conjecture. Or whatever it is. That’s a conjecture. You have an objection to his conjecture. – Speculation is what I meant to say. – I mean, that doesn’t make it any… – …less bad. It makes it pretty bad. – (Alex) Yeah, exactly. I think I understand what happened, though. I think he was like, “This is… …the blue car section of the parking lot. I’ve gotta get in.” Okay, that’s a bad parking job. And it IS a parking job. I mean, that’s a parking… – …lot. It’s in between two other cars. – Thanks for your time. – All right, who’s next? Kevin? – Yep. (Link) All right, Kevin. Oh, no! Seriously? – (Rhett) Okay. I get what’s happening. – (Kevin) So that’s a graveyard… – (Link) Yeah. – …as you can see. Now, there’s… …two cars in this picture that are parked on top of gravestones. My theory is that the guy in the black car parked first. – (Rhett) Yeah. – He’s a little bit disrespectful. – (Kevin) A little bit. – (Link) And then red car. Red car saw an opening. He just went for it, and he’s not on, like, one grave or two graves. He’s on multiple graves. – He’s desecrating, like, seven people. – (Kevin) Yeah. Oh my goodness. I mean, they say don’t WALK over graves. So how much worse is it when you park on them. And THEN walk on them! – I mean, he did it. – (Link) This is pretty bad. (Link) I mean, this guy can’t even bear to look at it. – (Rhett) I think that’s a woman. – (Link) Oh. – Yeah, that’s definitely a woman. – (crew laughing) Now, okay. Lemme play devil’s advocate here. – (Kevin) Okay. – You got a funeral. You gotta get… …to it. I mean, you don’t wanna miss the funeral of a relative just because you can’t find a parking spot. So I’ve got a little bit of sympathy here. (high voice) Just a little bit of sympathy. Well, actually, it wasn’t a funeral that they were going to. This was for a… – …community lunch. – (Rhett) They had lunch at a graveyard? – Well, there’s a church nearby it. – (Link) The church! There was a graveyard at the church. There was a community lunch, and apparently there’s not a lot of parking spaces. – (Link) Oh, that’s horrible! – Because look… Just because he want’s lunch, he’s gotta park on three graves? Well, sometimes those church potlucks can be real good. – (crew offscreen laughing) – And you know what? You gotta… …be the first in line. That makes me think differently about this. If it was a funeral, I’d be, like, “Desecration.” But this has got a… – …potluck involved? – Mm. That’s bad. I think it might be excused. Dead people don’t care! Well, the good news is that right after this happened, the picture went around on Reddit. And so the guilty parties have apologized. – Oh. – (Kevin) But they did put up a… – …no parking sign for future use. – (crew laughing) – On a grave stone. – Just right there? (Kevin) I believe so. Right there on the graveyard. – Okay. Next up, we’ve got Lizzie. – (Link) Don’t hold back. – (laughing) – Uh, well… – (Link laughing) Okay! – (Lizzie) First, I would like to say… …that there’s not a lot of information available about this. So we don’t know for sure that woman was driving. For the sake of argument, I guess we’ll say she probably was the driver in this case. – (stammering) She’d launched? – Yeah, there was some airborne… …activity happening here, because she went over that. She went through those, over this wall, and then somehow lodged her car between the sea wall and the boat, which to me is just impressive. – I think that it was a slow process… – (Lizzie) Yes. …because if it was quick, she would be inside the boat. – (Lizzie) Right. – (Rhett) But the boat has so little… …damage that I think the boat was originally right here. She hit the boat, and it probably took, like, eight seconds. Or it took longer, because here’s — although, she got out once it was over the water, potentially. So she made herself a little car bridge, also… – Yeah. – …to get out of it. Climbs on… – …top, gets out, very proud of it. – (Rhett) She does look proud. – (Lizzie) Yes. – I’m assuming this is the driver. That’s what I’m assuming as well. She looks proud. She’s holding her car… – …keys, like, “Yes, I did this.” – Yeah, I like the fact that she’s… …holding her car keys like someone would have gotten in the car and driven off… – …if she’d had left ’em in there. – (Rhett and Lizzie) Right. (Lizzie) Well,and also, I don’t see any way to save this car. I don’t know how you’re gonna get it out of there without it going in the water. – (Link) I don’t know how you do that. – (Lizzie) Yeah, it’s a doozie. (Link) I think the boat just drives off. Car falls in. Forget the thing ever happened. “I hope no one took a photo and put it on Reddit.” – I think the boat just comes back. – It’s gonna smush the car at that… – …point. – (Rhett) Potentially. if this isn’t her, she’s one in a long line of people who took turns posing… – (crew offscreen laughing) – …in front of that car. Yeah, they’re all lined up on the right. There’s more of ’em over there. How many parking jobs have you said, “I need a picture in front of this.” (Link) This is amazing in terms of everything that’s happening here. – I’m loving it. – And the person who’s most likely… …responsible for it posed with it, which I think gives you even more points. (Link) Okay, that’s definitely given us pause. You’re in trouble, guys. – All right, Mike. – Thanks for having me. – (Link) Okay. – (Mike) I’ll start out by saying this… …is self-explanatory, but that’s kind of a shame. Because the previous pictures, we could argue they were accidental, but this can’t just be ignorance. That’s like saying you didn’t know you were bumper bowling. – This is trolling the Walmart parking lot. – (crew offscreen laughing) And even if he didn’t realize, once he tried to get out of his car, his door would have had to hit that rail, but then he just climbed out the window… – (Link) Yeah. – …’cause the window’s still open. – (crew laughing) – There’s no open spots. So this… – …could just be desperation. – I think this is a — you’re with… …somebody and he’s like, “Dude, I think your car can fit in there.” – “Do you think it can?” – “There’s only one way to find out.” – “I think it can.” – (Rhett) Do you think the fact that… …this was intentional gives you more or less points? Oh, way more. The other ones, you could say they didn’t know or it was a freak accident. This guy knew on many levels what he was doing. I don’t like this guy, but I don’t like like the graveyard person more. Well, what if there was a long-time buried person underneath the parking lot… – …and they happen to be on top of them? – It can happen. It can happen. – It did happen in mine. – I will argue that… – (laughing) True. – …maybe the graveyard person was… …shopping at Walmart, couldn’t get their cart back, so they were late to the lunch, and they had no choice but to park there. – I doubt they’re related, Mike. – (crew laughing) – That’s a weird argument. – What is worse: to desecrate a… …a dead person, or multiple dead people, or just Walmart… – Ooh. Where are people gonna put… – …in general. – …their carts, man? That’s the question. – I don’t think you can cross Walmart. – Where do people put their carts? – I mean, they’re as powerful as… …most countries. I think this is a cardinal sin. Mm. Don’t cross the Walmart. Who’s next? One left. That would be me. So there’s obviously an arrow and a red circle already on this… photo, so I’m gonna point that out first. – There’s also a 4Runner through a wall. – (Stevie) Yeah, yeah. – You can point that out as well. – I mean, that’s the car we’re talking… – …about. We’re not talking about… – (Link) The firetruck. – …the fire department or the police. – (Rhett) The emergency personnel. (Stevie) So, you’ll notice that this is different than the rest of the ones we’ve looked at because this guy has chosen to park inside of a building. (Stevie) Also, I might be being picky, but if you’re gonna park inside of the building, get the whole thing in there, you know what I mean? – (Stevie) Just do it! – If you’re gonna do it… – …go all the way. – (Stevie) Yeah. (Link) But he was in enough to get out and open the door and just start… – …working out. In the gym. – (Stevie) Yeah. Or it could be… – …the pet store, too. – You don’t know, I mean, sometimes… …you can’t choose between a gym and a pet store. – (Stevie) Yeah, but either way — – You just go in the wall and… – …find out which one you’re in. – Either a guy working out, or girl… …working out, was really surprised or like a hamster was. You know what… – …I mean? – I like the idea that this 4Runner is… …gonna back out after a hard workout and then all these animals are… – …gonna fly out. – Mhm. And some protein powder will… – (spitting) Just everywhere! – …also pour out. – (crew offscreen laughing) – (Rhett) Do you have definitive proof… – …that he made the hole in the wall? – (Stevie) That’s true. What if he just parked in the hole in the wall? Maybe it’s a little garage… …for people who like working out and pets. – (crew laughing) – That’s true. Okay, that’s a bad parking job. Um. Okay, Link. – We’re gonna take some time… – (both) To deliberate. All right. Sit tight, guys. Give us a moment. All right, let’s just… …do a preliminary order here. Bring this one… The morality associated with that one is getting demerits. – You mean you think it’s morally wrong? – Well, this is just a really, really… …stupid thing that happened. All three of those. These don’t involve any property damage. Desecration, but not property damage. – A stuntman could not have done that. – (Rhett) A good stuntman could have. (Rhett) This one is a really bad job, but it actually serves a purpose because… – Now you can get on the boat. – …you can get on the boat. Mm. I know how this happened. I still don’t know how that happened. (Rhett) Yeah. I think that’s it. Okay, we’ve made our decision. – Yes, we have. – Here is our final order, starting with… – …number 5: The Walmart… – ♪ (fanfare) ♪ – …shopping cart. – (Link) Sorry, Mike. – Okay. – Coming in at number 4, this was… …a difficult decision, but we went with what I’m calling, “Do you even lift… …your foot off of the gas when going through a pet store or a gym?” – (Stevie) Mm. – (Link) I don’t know which. – Bad choice. – And coming in at number 3… – …the desecration parking job. – (Link) And then at number 2… …we’ve got Wedgie. And that leaves us with the worst parking job ever… – Yeah! – …access plank parking job. What an amazing photo. I wish I was there. All right, let us know in the comments what you think of our ranks. And thanks for liking and subscribing and keeping it between the lines. – You know what time it is. – I’m Emily Bean from Anchorage… …Alaska. And it’s time to spin The Wheel of Mythicality! We’re just overflowing with cool stickers around here. You can make these your own by going to rhettandlink.com/store! Do it! Click through to Good Mythical More. We’re gonna find out who is… …a bad parking note leaver, and who is a bad parking note receiver here on the crew. You know, you leave the note. The nastygram note. – “Beatboxing bees.” – (both making buzzing noises) (miscellaneous buzzes and beats) (Link spitting) Whoa. [Captioned by Kevin: GMM Captioning Team]

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