(rooster crows) (roaring) (thunk) (wheel clicking) – Welcome to Good Mythical More. Can we match the crime to the fast food restaurant within which it happened? – Hah! Who You Talkin’ About? This is when we read a comment with one of our names blanked out and we guess who it’s about. This comment is from Melissa V, who says, blank holding the barf bucket like it’s his most prized possession is so funny to me. That’s easy, Link. – You also have a barf bucket, it’s right there. – I don’t hold it– – Hold it, hold it right now. – When you hold the barf bucket, you sometimes hold it like this. – Oh really? – Yeah, I never hold it like that. (laughing) I hold it with one hand and bleah. My relationship with my barf bucket is not one of dependence. (groaning) – All right, me. – (laughing) Come on, that’s not true! I’ve never held my barf bucket like it actually needed it! – Roll the footage! – Melissa V! – All right, let’s hear this first crime that we’re gonna read ourselves. – Okay. (laughing) First of all, might I just say that I am, my buns are currently resting on buns. – Oh, you’re still doing that? – And that’s why I’m skimmin’ the top of the frame! And I’m, this feels great, I’m sorry, I might be this tall for the remainder of this show. And I mean, like, for the duration. – Well– – Lucas, could you make me a fresh one every day? – Yep. – Thank you. – Well, you need to know that you’re at risk of gettin’ butt bread. – Oh, the yeast? – Yeah, you get a yeast infection. (laughing) – I don’t want a yeast infection of the– – Anus. – Crack. Those are tough to get rid of, trust me. – Read it. – This was an attempt to destroy a fast food sign. A man was charged for attempting to destroy this particular fast food sign after the restaurant refused to make him 30 double cheeseburgers! – Well, why would refuse, any place refuse to make him 30 double cheeseburgers unless they didn’t sell burgers? – 30 double cheeseburgers. – I think this is Popeye’s, nope. Popeye’s, destroy the sign. When you get angry and you look at the sign, it’s gotta reinforce that anger, the sign itself has to be anger inducing. – It’s gotta be a sign you can get to, you can’t get to the arches. I’ve tried. They’re really up there, you’d need like a grappling hook to get up there. – You know, a Arby’s sign goes– – It’s low. – It’s low ’cause the hat’s big. And you can just hack at the bottom of the hat. And they don’t sell burgers, so I’m goin’ with Arby’s. – All right, I don’t, I mean, you might beright, but I’m goin’ with Burger King, I think this is a place that sold– – Hold on, you want 30 of what we’re known for? No! – That’s what makes it ironic. – Are these ironic? – [Stevie] It was McDonald’s. – Ahh! – Well, what’s the rest of the story, Paul Harvey? – [Stevie] The police report, mm? The police report says it is unclear how this man was trying to destroy the golden arches. So I’m sorry. – With a grappling hook. – [Stevie] That is all the information I have. – Does that mean that McDonald’s is out? – What, why did they refuse to serve him 30 burgers? – [Stevie] Yes. – I mean, they have double cheeseburgers. – [Stevie] Do we know that? – They thought it was a prank, that’s why. – [Stevie] We don’t know that either. – A man at this fast food restaurant– – [Stevie] Everything’s in, everything’s fine. – Complained about the milkshake he had been made, then demanded coffee. When he was told there was no coffee, the man threw the milkshake in the employee’s face, threw a highchair, jumped the counter, and punched the employee in the face. Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. That you didn’t want coffee. No, that you didn’t get coffee. – There was no coffee, does that mean there isn’t coffee at this restaurant or they ran out? – When he was told there was no coffee. I think he– – Trying to picture the– – I don’t know, maybe they didn’t have coffee. – The easiest counter to jump. – See, it wouldn’t be ironic unless they did serve coffee. By your rationale. – You remember how Wendy’s used to have, like, like an amusement park line sorter thing that would get you up to the cash register? – Yeah, it was like, it had switchbacks, so you could– – They did that forever! – You thought you were at the counter and then you were like, nope. And then you had to come back. – And they kept hangin’ onto that and eventually they were like, eh, do we need these? I don’t think we were doing anything better besides square burgers. They could probably stop that too. – Wendy’s serves Frosties, not milkshakes, and I don’t think they would’ve said changed it to milkshake, ’cause I think that would devious. – Yeah, I think it’s a Carl’s Jr. situation. Carl’s Jr.’s got a really low counter. I’ve hurdled it a time or two. – Milkshake, but no coffee. You ever had the milkshake at KFC? I highly recommend trying to get one! – They don’t have a milkshake. – That’s right. (laughing) – Carl’s Jr. has got good, listen, Carl’s Jr., they got good milkshakes. And if you like a seasonal thing where it’s just like, right now, peaches are in season, get that. Have you had that? – You know what? I think you’re being devious, I’m goin’ with Wendy’s. – [Stevie] It was Burger King. – Burger King! – Burger King. – Man. – They do sell coffee. – It’s not great, though. – So they were just out. – It’s not like McCafe. – So we’re, we’re oh for oh, oh for two. We’ve done twice. – Employees at this southwest Houston, or is it How-ston, fast food chain banned a man named Larry McHale! – Yeah, just say his name! – Three months prior to the incident for harassing behavior, but the man came back one night– – You talkin’ ’bout Larry McHale? – With a drunken vengeance. (laughing) He threw a glass bottle on the ground and then proceeded to throw a chihuahua he had with him through the drivethrough window. – He sounds like a superhero! – The chihuahua is okay, before you get upset. First of all, how can a man that is two names of two great Celtics combined do anything wrong? – So you’re tellin’ me. This is a second incident, he threw a glass bottle on the ground, then threw a chihuahua. – Who has a window big enough to get a chihuahua through? Dunkin’ definitely does. – I mean, once you throw your chihuahua through there, do you just drive off? Or do you go in and you’re like sheepishly like, hey, I’m the guy threw my chihuahua in like a second ago, I was just wondering if I could like have my chihuahua back. – Well, it doesn’t say he threw his chihuahua, he threw a chihuahua. – What restaurant is surrounded by chihuahuas? – You can, Taco Bell’s not an option. ‘Cause that would’ve been really ironic, especially in like 2004. To throw a chihuahua into a Taco Bell. – When you’re drunk and angry, what do you wanna eat? – Drunk and angry? – Yeah, what you wanna eat? You wanna eat fried chicken or you wanna eat chicken strips? – Does it have to be chicken? – ‘Cause I’m down to KFC and Carl’s Jr. I think this is a Carl’s Jr. type situation. He’s askin’ for it. – I think this is Starbucks. – Never, never made his dad happy, Carl Sr. – [Stevie] It was at Starbucks. (laughing) – Hey, Larry McHale, comin’ through, sorry. – Starbucks? This doesn’t seem like a Starbucks type thing. – I know, but it does, that was the interesting thing, it kinda did. – All right, so you get a point. In 2013, a man was arrested at this fast food restaurant after he took off his clothes, defecated on the ground– The other day, we were drivin’ in the car, me and Christy. Lando was in the backseat and all of a sudden, he said, is dog defecation the same thing as dog poop? We were like, yeah, and he was like, well then that sign makes sense. (laughing) – Good, good, good. – Took off his clothes, defecated on the ground, and then proceeded to smear it across his body. – Ugh, what? Why their own body? – When the police arrived, the man was reportedly surprised. (laughing) Telling the officer he doubted he would be taken to jail. He allegedly said, (bleep), I got (bleep) on me! (laughing) You are not gonna put me in your patrol car. – Yeah, he was like, I’ve done this many times and no one has ever taken me in! (laughing) – It, it seems like– – I mean, I wouldn’t arrest a man with that all over him. – If you did something else illegal, and then expected to get arrested, then smearing your body with your own feces might be a good defense mechanism. But just smearing feces on yourself and trying to use that as a argument to not get arrested is kinda shortsighted. – This feels like a KFC situation (laughing) because there’s buckets at KFC. And maybe he was trying to crap in a bucket. Maybe that was how, (laughing) maybe that’s how it started, maybe he saw a big bucket and he was like, that looks kinda like a toilet. And goes like, you know what? I should just get naked and take a (bleep) right here. (laughing) – You ever been to the back of a Dunkin’ Donuts, though? Kinda makes me need to poop. – Why the back? – (laughs) ‘Cause I’m not gonna poop in the front. – What specifically about the, oh. The doughnut hole, you wanna poop through it? What, I don’t understand any of it. – You’re tryin’ to make sense of it, aren’t you? – Yeah, I am. – Dunkin’ Donuts. – KFC, in the bucket. – [Stevie] Arby’s, in the hat. – Meat Mountain– – Arby’s, in the hat. – He made his own Meat Mountain! (laughing) – But the thing is, he wasn’t upset about anything. Didn’t seem like he ordered anything. – It was more of like a prank. – Shortsighted. – It was a prank video. – And guess that one’s gone. – Blood, shattered glass, and corn dogs led officers to a burglary suspect in Shawnee, Oklahoma. The guy had broken into a blank drivethrough, through a window, and during the investigation, officers said they found a trail of food from the blank to his home, where the man was arrested, including foot-long hot dogs, hot dog buns, chicken breast, and corn dogs. This is definitely Sonic ’cause it’s got all that stuff. – I mean, foot-long hot, does Shake Shack have a foot-long hot dog? – No. They don’t have corn dogs either. – Sonic has everything. – Yeah, it’s gotta be Sonic. – And they not only, they have everything on everything. – [Stevie] It’s Sonic. – It has to be Sonic, yeah. – Yeah, Sonic, Sonic, Sonic. – You gave us too many details. (laughing) – You can’t give us corn dog details, we’re gonna get you every time. (clears throat) – For 10 minutes in Cape Coral, Florida. Oh, we’re in Florida, y’all. A man later dubbed the blank pimple popper stood by the entrance of this food franchise and popped zits on his back. – Florida, Florida, Florida. – Oh, right at the entrance? After receiving complaints from the deeply disgusted diners, the police arrived. Though the pimple popper was not charged for that gross act, he was eventually charged with unrelated crimes, including, but not limited to (laughing) driving without a license, resisting arrest, giving a false ID, and possession of drug paraphernalia. – So this is in Florida, so this could be like a Ruth’s Chris. (laughing) – Right. – It’s like, ’cause the bar is very different there. – It doesn’t exist. – There is no bar. – Man, poppin’ pimples without a license? (laughing) – That’s exactly what it was, that’s exactly what happened. – All right, Florida. – And you said we could repeat some of these, right? – [Guy] Yeah. – This is definitely a McDonald’s situation. – Well, if you needed to point out that we can repeat, then you probably did, but I think this is Burger King. – [Stevie] It’s McDonald’s. – Whoop, whoop, whoop! – The way that you get things right by accident perturbs me. – By accident? – Yeah, you just, I mean, sometimes you– – You could ask me about my thought process. – But you would just make something up. – Exactly. (laughing) – [Link] Signed copies of our New York Times bestselling novel, “The Lost Causes of Bleak Creek” are available now at Mythical.com. Get ’em before they’re gone!