(rooster crowing) (animal growling) – Welcome to “Good Mythical More.” Let’s take some vegan cheeses and pair them with the just sampled vegan meats to see if serendipity will ensue. (knocking) – But first, don’t freak out but our cooking class was canceled. – And don’t freak out, but it was gonna be a naked cooking class. – That’s right, so we’re just gonna extend the wine tour. Make sure you get one of those earth cruisers. Because we don’t want to drive, we’re gonna be biking. We’re gonna be biking through the hills of Santa Barbara while completely hammered. – Don’t freak out. – We’ve got helmets. But don’t worry, the cooking class was canceled. – And you know what? Let’s still get naked because that’s a great way to ride a bike. – [Stevie] Are you implying that you were doing the cooking class on tour? – I don’t know. I really don’t know, Stevie. – It was confusing. I was confused by that. – Yep, yep. – [Stevie] I’m not freaking out though. – Yeah, don’t freak out. – You ever been on a wine tour in Santa Barbara? – [Stevie] I have not. I would like to when it is safe to do so. – I’ve been on a wine, like a wine tasting thing in Malibu at the Malibu Farms or whatever? – Malibu Wines. – [Stevie] I feel like Santa Monica, I mean, sorry, Santa Barbara would be a great place for a camping trip. – Okay, yep. But then the whole thing is if we get hammered and then you’re waiting for us to. – [Stevie] Well, that’s true. – Right, well. – I wonder how many camping, camping places there are. Oh, it’s interesting how this smoked Gouda, the slices are, it’s sliced down the middle. – Here’s a slice of- – Or maybe that’s just that one. – Smoked provolone for you. Now I would put the provolone with the salami. Most likely is what I would do if I was just hanging out. – There’s some Gouda. – Like I do. – Ready to go. – [Stevie] I do not think that those, what’s that brand on Link’s side? The cheese? I ate those for awhile. – Follow Your Heart. – [Stevie] When I was doing the paleo thing. They’re not bad. I feel like they do the trick for this, what they’re trying to substitute. – We’ve tasted these. – That’s not provolone right there, Link, I gave you. – Oh, and you’re suggesting that. – I tried it with the salami just because it’s like, you know, the Italian situation? – I mean, even if you just go ham and provolone, that’s pretty, pretty basic situation here. And then you’re gonna do, you do the roll up? – Well, I didn’t, but I might next time. Sounds pretty tempting. So you did the Follow Your Heart? That’s what you said, Stevie? – [Stevie] Yeah, ’cause it’s, well, also it melts. It melts quite well. It is fine. You can do a quesadilla or a grilled cheese with it and you’re not overly disappointed. – This is what we liked the most when we did the test. – Yeah, I was gonna say Stevie, when we did our test, we didn’t love the Follow Your Heart. – [Stevie] Well, I did say it was fine, but. – Yeah, I’m gonna do, I really liked this bologna. – Field and Roast Chao slices. What’d you put it with? – Bologna ’cause. – Creamy, ooh, that is good. – That’s what I used to do back in the day. Well, they kinda cancel each other out a little bit. – I think I’m gonna, I think I can do some pepperoni in some of this. – You can do whatever you want. – They don’t say it’s a certain, it’s Chao tofu. Product of Greece, creamy original. – Chao is the like line of cheeses from Field Roast. – That’s what they call it. – But creamy original, so it’s just original cheese flavor. Now this is a block of cheese, Link. – It doesn’t, it doesn’t really go with that pepperoni. I don’t know what I was thinking. – [Stevie] Doesn’t this kind of make you want to be a vegan? – No, because I just tasted all of it. – Can I have the knife? – There are a few of them. I mean, the cheese is a lot better than the meats. – [Stevie] But like it doesn’t make you think you could? – No, I actually think about it more often than you might think. – [Stevie] I think about it too. Chicken is the problem because you’ve got the Impossible Burger. You’ve got this suite of deli meat situation. There are some decent vegan ground chicken situations. You know, KFC was doing that Beyond Chicken thing for a beat, which looked. – What happened to that? – I don’t remember that. – [Stevie] Really good. They like rolled it out at a couple of locations and then they sold out really quickly. But again, that’s like ground chicken that’s fried. You can’t be eating that every day. – What is this again? – Well, and Jalapeno Havarti and pepperoni? – I’m sure as many of the vegans who are watching and commenting might point out, this is all very highly processed, right? So processed food, whether it’s vegan or not, is not something you want to be eating on a super regular basis. So if you just cut out, like if you were doing like a paleo thing where you were eating whole foods and lean meats, from a health perspective that’s probably gonna be healthier than just going vegan and just saying I’m gonna eat whatever it is as long as it’s vegan. You want to limit your processed food in general. But I do feel like deli meat isn’t good enough to me to warrant the effects that it has. – Right. – Both on me personally and the environment, when I can substitute this stuff for the times I’m gonna do it. – Oh, I thought you were just gonna say you could give up deli meat and not miss it in your life. That’s where I’m at. – Well, that too. – Well, you seem like it’s been a big part of your life. – What, I feel like I’ve had enough. – Oh, you’re over it. – I feel like I’ve just I’ve eaten it enough. – This is, this really works. Yeah, if you limit yourself, you know, as with a lot of art, you know, limitations create opportunities, you know? – Innovations. – Yeah, you got, you know, necessity is the mother of some kids. – Some kids. Hey, that smoked provolone? – Yeah? – With the roast beef. Somehow that worked. – All of these cheeses are saving the meats. That is what’s happening. But something about smoked. – It makes it work. – The only thing I like with a smoked flavor is meat, real meats. I don’t like smoked cheeses and I don’t like smoked drinks. – Smoked drinks? – Yeah, like a. – Oh, like a smokey, smokey’s flavor. – [Stevie] Like a mezcal? – Yeah, you know I don’t like that stuff. – Or like a scotch that’s got a real smoky, peaty flavor. Well, I have to disagree with you on that hard. I like… I like a real smokey drink. Maybe a smoked Gouda, a smoked Gouda cheese, man? Whoo. – [Stevie] Maybe it has something to do with your beard. – How do ya, you oil that thing? – (laughing) Stevie, Stevie. – These cheeses are good. – You might be wondering how I get my beard to be so supple. And it’s a combination of things. We’ve got Mythical Beard Oil, which, you know, new packaging, same formula, same award-winning formula. I do think there was actually like a website that said it was the best beard balm in a certain category. I don’t know. – Sure. – It’s still great. It’s still really good. But it has basically, it’s just for the sake of moisturizing, right? But the Mythical Beard Balm, it has got the same sort of profile, but we’ve added some beeswax in there so it actually has a sort of sculpting element to it. Missy, you weren’t able to find that? – Mythical.com. – [Leprechaun Chase] Can I have some? – Get it. – Oh, yeah. – Ooh, look at that. It’s green. – Yeah, it’s made just for you, Leprechaun Chase. – Ooh, it’s perfect for my beard. – Are you gonna put that on your beard? That’s a good idea. – Just a bit. – Just a little bit, a little bit goes a long way. Yeah, you’ve been out? – Oh, this smells good too. – Even on a totally fake beard. – This is real. – This is real. – [Leprechaun Chase] Happy St. Patrick’s Day. – This is real, he says. And he just ripped it off. Wow. (laughing) I don’t mean to be crude here, but. – But go ahead and do it. – How are our poots gonna be later? – Mm, yeah. – Are we gonna be having some, some like? – You’re gonna be blaming the dogs. – Disturbingly floral poots? Like plant poots? – Have you ever eaten too much vegetables? It doesn’t smell like floral. – It doesn’t smell like plants? – The other night I had this meal that had a fake polenta that was made from cauliflower. And it was really good and I ate a lot of it. And then, but Jessie also got this roasted cauliflower. It came from the same place. And I ate more than half of like the container of that. And talk about biological weapons. – Oh, really? – Yeah, I could have cleared out like a whole elementary school gym. Like an auditorium. – Oh, I got really bad gas. I gotta go to the local elementary school. Why would you do that? – I’m just trying to put it into perspective. – You could clear out an elementary school. – I could get like half the kids. – It already stinks at an elementary school. – [Stevie] Did everyone leave your house? – No, I went to the garage. (laughing) I go to the garage for things like that. And then warn people, don’t enter for a while. Sometimes I’ll go, ’cause we’ve kind of turned the garage into a little bit of a gym. – A little bit, a little bit of a gym if I do say so myself. – I’ll go in there, and here’s the thing. When you go work out at the gym like we used to do, like going to a gym with people, everyone in that gym is holding in their farts. When you work out in your garage. – Yeah? – You are just letting it rip. And there’s nothing like letting it rip in the middle of a rep. And you would never do that. But I think that there’s something therapeutic about it. – Rippin’ and reppin’. – Like, I’ll sometimes I’ll hold it and then like go for a personal record and just (blowing raspberries). – Just get a little, that will give you like a boost. – Yeah. You lift a little, you shake a little bit. Yeah, you can’t do that at Equinox (laughing). So I’m not going back. – Mm. – [Stevie] Have we made any discoveries here or are you just eating cheese and meat? – All of the cheese is good. – They all kind of taste. – And it helps the meat along. – With the cheese, even the meats that aren’t that great kind of become something that if you were to put this on a sandwich with a little mustard, a little mayo. – Yeah, I think it would. – I think you could have a ball. And then just go work out and fart all over the place. Who cares? – You know, I think they should be, like people who do home equipment, that should be a selling point. That should be the main thing. Like even call it like- – Fart Rep. – The Farter 2000, you know? Just kinda, you know? – I can do a video. – Pop a squat and drop a rot. – There’s nothing like farting in the middle of a squat. But the first time you do it, the first time you do it you think you broke something. – Oh, yeah. – Yeah, yeah. You give a little bit. But then when you realize that it does provide thrusting power to get it back up, it’s a beautiful thing. I’m gonna partner with Billy Blanks and we’re gonna make a little video. – Billy Shootin’ Blanks. Butt blanks. – It’s me and Billy Blanks. – I think that’s what a fart is. It’s a butt blank. – But I think it’s Billy. I think what a fart that’s a blank, it makes a lot of noise but doesn’t stink? Is that how he got his name? – A butt blank is a fart. It’s when your butt sounds like it’s shooting a projectile, but nothing comes out. – You mean when poop doesn’t come out? – Yeah. – So just short of a shart. – Or a squad. When Lincoln was a little, when he was little, he invented this term. He would say. – Well, squad is a word. – He invented a term for shart, ’cause we didn’t tell him that shart was a word. And he was like, ah, I did a little squad. (laughing) – It does sound. – It’s when he’d poop his pants a little bit. He would say I did a squad. I don’t know, I don’t know why. – Well, it sounds like it’s descriptive of like a little poop that you didn’t expect to come out. Well, it’s just a little squad. – Maybe he was squatting at the time? – Yeah, that would have helped. – I don’t know. You might do a little squad when you’re- – Squatting. – When you’re squattin’. – Yeah. – Shoot a little butt blank, or you could go into squad territory. – But the thing is, is I would just keep working out ’cause I’m just in there by myself. I’d be like, I’m just gonna worry about this later. – Sit on the bench, man. That’s nasty. – Yeah. – Boy this is really. – It’s turned into something. – This is what we talk about when we eat. With meat and cheese. – Anybody who was turned on to meat and cheese a second ago has left. Our grooming collection is growing. Shop the expanded Mythical Grooming Collection now at mythical.com.