(rooster crows) (lion roars) (text bangs) (wheel clicks) – Welcome to “Good Mythical More.” We are going to attempt to find some everything bagel seasonized things that have never been bagels everything seasonized before. – You understand. – But that should be henceforth. – But first, we’re gonna play Who You Talkin’ About? We’re gonna read a comment that one of you made on a video, guess who it was about. This one is from thatgirlnamedangel. I don’t know her, that’s just her username. Blank’s metaphors need to be evaluated by a therapist. – Well, we’re both minds full of metaphors, are we not? – We both like a lot of metaphors. We’re like two- – We’re like two streams. – I was gonna say, like a tree that’s just constantly fruiting. – Emptying into the ocean. – Fruiting metaphors. Like a vine that just keeps branching off, and coming up with new things. Could be either one of us. – I’m gonna say if you say me. – I’m gonna say you. Yeah. – Link’s metaphors need to be evaluated by a therapist. – I didn’t wanna say it, but I was thinking it. Sometimes, the things that come out of your brain can only come out of your brain, and you know what? That’s a wonderful thing. – You know what, thatgirlnamedangel, I have a standing appointment. I will discuss it with my therapist this evening. (people laugh) This is nasty. – This is the worst cracker. – It’s like- – I’ve ever tasted in my entire life. – It’s like, if you take your niece to the mall, and you get her to get her earring. – It tastes like poison. – Get her ear pierced, and then, right after they pierce her earring, before they put, like, a ring in it, you go up to your niece’s here, and you just, you suck on the hole. (people laugh) Like, that’s what it tastes like. – What is wrong with you? Yeah, see? What is wrong with you? I feel the same way. I was gonna say the same thing, but I already said it in the past. – I wasn’t even there for that. Don’t remember it. (Rhett chuckles) (people laugh) You want us to taste this taco? – [Woman] I do. – All right, this taco is- – [Rhett] So the shell has been everything’d. – [Woman] As has the beef, as has the sour cream, and the salsa. – Well, don’t hold back. What about the lettuce? – [Woman] I couldn’t do that, I’m sorry. – You could’ve done it, you decided not to. I know your capabilities. – [Woman] I know my capability, that’s why I didn’t do it. – Oh. Um. – Mm. – This is nice. – Oh my. Oh my. – That took a while for me to bite that. It’s like I was making out with it. (woman laughs) It’s like I was sucking, no. – I mean, it tastes like a really even more flavorful taco than a already flavorful taco. I don’t know if I’m getting newness. – No, it’s kinda like that beef jerky thing, where it’s like- – It’s very tasty. – If it’s already pungent. – It’s too complementary. Is that what you’re saying? – Mm-hm. – It’s already doing more of the same thing that was already happening. It’s kinda like when a bunch of people are pushing on a car, and trying to move it, and then, like, your friend kinda comes up and, like, puts one hand on it, and is kinda like, I helped, you know what I’m saying? Or you’re helping somebody move, and all you do is, like, point, like, yeah, yeah. – And where’s your niece in all this? – Oh, I’m sucking on her ear. (Rhett laughs) (Link laughs) – [Woman] Ew. – At the mall, of course. – I mean, it was only in a gross way, you know? It was like, I meant well, dang. All right, so we’re gonna rank these. Let’s pull this thing up here. – Yeah. – So, it tastes good. (Link groans) But it’s not, I’m gonna put it at four, because is that everything is actually a perfect sort of evaluation of it. Is that everything? – Ow, ooh. Just popped my knee. – I do wanna know, Stevie, what would it take to get your ears pierced? – [Stevie] It’s not. – I know you’re not scared of it. – [Stevie] Yeah, I just don’t know what. – How do you know she’s not scared of it? – [Stevie] I don’t know, I don’t know why I have no, I’m not compelled at all. – Are you scared of it? – [Stevie] No, I just don’t- – No, I mean just, like, can we make it, like, for Josh, we did the thing where, you know, he got a lower back tattoo for charity. – [Stevie] Yeah. Josh can get his ears pierced, yeah. – I’m just throwing it out there. – [Stevie] I’ll green light that one. – Are you fundamentally opposed to it, or is it the kinda thing that, is it like, well, I just don’t care? Because, if you just don’t care, then maybe we can make it, like, a charity thing. – [Stevie] Oh, yeah. I mean, if we raised a lot of money for charity all based on me getting my ears pierced, I would have to do it, ’cause, I mean, it would be for a really great cause, but I would not let Link suck my ear, no, thank you, Chase. – Would you get your ear pierced- – Why not? – On, like, a live stream? – Why not? – If we ever do another charity live event, would you get your ears pierced on that? – You know what you’re doing. (Rhett laughs) – Isn’t there a price for everything? – I’m saying it really early so people will forget about it. – So I’ll suck your ear for a certain price. – [Stevie] Oh, god. – It won’t taste good, and that’s the point. – We hit a certain benchmark, you get yours ears pierced, we hit another one, Link sucks your ears. – [Stevie] Okay. – Right. – Done. – No one will like it. I won’t like it, and that’s the point. – And it’s all for a good cause. (people laugh) – [Stevie] Oh, god. – I bet you could suck a ear so hard, it would make a hole in it, you know? If you really. – I think it would tear off before it made a hole. – If you really concentrated your suck to that one little- – No one’s got lips that precise. – Pinpoint. (Link sucks) (Rhett laughs) – I mean, if anybody does, it’s you, but even you- – Thank you. – Even you can’t suck that hard in one little spot. (woman laughs) – Well, you’d like to see me try. – Oh, I would, I’d pay. – For charity. – For charity. – You’d donate. – I would donate for it. (people chuckle) – Oh, gosh, that is strong. There’s a lot of it in here. – [Woman] Yeah, I tried to do that for most of them. – Okay. Are you offended about the taco? – [Woman] No, of course not, it’s okay. You don’t have to like everything I make. – I like this one. – I liked it a lot. – Thank you. – It’s too hot. Is it hot, for me to eat, too hot? I think so. – While link is figuring out if he’s gonna eat it, I’ll go ahead and start talking about what I think about it. Maruchan, you should do this. – Yeah. – Because you’ve already shown a willingness to experiment and do so many different things. This is a way to create a little buzz around your brand. – This is nice. – You got a great brand, but let’s just be honest, I mean, you’ve been around for a while, you haven’t really shaken things up in a while, and no one’s gonna think that you’re late to the everything game just because you do it, like, a year behind everybody else, ’cause everybody’s gonna be like, have you had the everything ramen? – This is good, man. – Very good, you should consider it. – I’m-a put it at number three, but we all know that that’s probably gonna move up. – Probably. – All right, what do we wanna go next? Let’s go with some. – Wow, more pasta. (bowl scrapes) So, this is just mac and cheese and everything. – [Woman] Pretty much. – [Rhett] Mac and everything cheese. – [Link] It gives it a browner look. – [Rhett] Aw, and you kinda break through the crust part. – The seal? Been sitting there a little bit. – I kinda like that, though. – But it’s all in there, it’s all in there. Still cheesy first. – Stevie, what if you did one piercing, and then, ’cause Link, back in the day, he got a piercing here, and he got a piercing here. – I’m into that. Oh. – No, no, no, no, no, no, I never got a piercing there. I only got a piercing here. – Oh, okay, well, he got a piercing there, so it can be done. – It hurt. – What if we did the thing where all the money raised was only to pin it on the number of piercings that you got, so, we weren’t doing anything else. The livestream was you sitting in a chair, dramatically lit. – I’m not there at all until I need to be. – Link’s just ready to suck. Link’s in the back, ready to suck. I’m just producing it, ’cause we’re switching roles, okay? We’ve got a professional pierce-ist who’s there, right? And they start with one, just to be like, this is what we’re going to do today. If we can get to $10,000, we’re gonna do a second one, and then, by the end of the evening- – Oh, that’s low. You gotta think higher than that. – Well, we’re gonna get to, like, 500,000 eventually, and both of your ears are gonna be completely pierced. (people laugh) And Link’s gonna have a lot of sucking to do. – Mm. See? I was already grossed out. That’s why I was gonna do it. But now, I’m even more grossed out. – So, you added more everything. – It needed more. – Okay. – I mean, (people laugh) you should definitely. – Just put that on mac and cheese. – Just put this on mac and cheese. It doesn’t need to be sold this way. – Just add everything seasoning to already mac and cheesed, like, Kraft mac and cheese. Wow, yes, do that. – It kinda begs the question, I kinda wanna reassess our assessment, and make sure that we didn’t say we like something a lot that you could just sprinkle on yourself. I don’t think we did. I mean, even the potato chips. – No, the potato chips had it built in. – Yeah. – And you wouldn’t wanna just put it on vanilla ice cream, because you need the cream cheese ice cream, and also, there were the little, like, Jenny had figured out a way, to, like- – Oh, Jenny. – The little, like- – Jenny. – The little dough balls, or whatever it was in there. – Jenny needs no constructive feedback. – [Woman] It’s called everything bagel gravel. – Gravel? – Everything bagel gravel. – Bagel gravel. – [Woman] Bagel gravel. – I like that. – [Woman] Yeah. – Before we try this dessert-themed thing. – Good gosh, what is this, a Milky Way? – Only a few more days. (Rhett grunts) There we are. Only a few more days to join 3rd Degree monthly of the Mythical Society to get the “Rhett and Link Sing Lionel” vinyl. We got two songs on here. Look at us on the front. We sound just as good as we look on this. I’m proud. – You should see us inside. – Okay? I’m very proud of this. Join 3rd Degree monthly by April 30th to be eligible. I’m learning how to say that word, day by day, eligible. – Ell-jible, he says. – Visit mythicalsociety.com for details. – Okay, so we have a Milky Way, and we have… Oh, they’re kind of, it’s hardened on there. – You’ll get some granules on this one. – [Woman] Yeah. – I’m gonna go for the middle here. Is this the actual size of a Milky Way? It’s like, you typically don’t see it just, like, laid bare outside of the wrapper, you know? Typically eat it from the wrapper. You don’t just see the log just sitting there. – It’s kinda padded. – It’s smaller than you think it would be. – Hm. (Rhett clears throat) (Link clears throat) (Rhett clears throat) (Link clears throat) This works for me. The sweet and the savory really does something, and you get your granule fix. – I don’t. – You don’t like it? I really like it. I really like salted dark chocolate. – Maybe I didn’t get as much in my bite. I’ll lick the whole top of it. – Well, just bite the whole top off of it. Like, bite the roof of the Milky Way off. Yeah, you don’t wanna get overpowered with nougat. – Seems like a weird way to eat a Milky Way. But who am I to judge? – You think we could get a vat of nougat? Put that in the livestream somehow. – Mm, mm, mm. Yeah, I ain’t hurt at all. My feelings feel intact. – You got some that time. – Yeah. You know what, I like it. – Ah, he likes it. Mikey likes it. – Do we like it more than the… I mean. – The instant ramen just makes too much sense, but I’m licking my lips. – What do we have here? – [Woman] Instant grits. – Ooh, grits, man. – Instant grits. – Man, grits. – Instant grits. – I went through a phase as a child where I did grits every single morning. Cheese grits, my mama would make cheese grits. – [Stevie] I did grits. – I’ve done lots of grits. – Here’s your spoon. – I never get grits. – [Stevie] I had grits literally yesterday morning for breakfast, with cheese and sausage. – Ooh. – In the grits. – Sausage in the grits? Instant? – [Stevie] No. – [Woman] That sounds good. – I almost made grits the other night when my family forced me to make my own dinner. – Well, see what we got. We got grits. – You know what, I’ll have you know, I scrambled some eggs with way too many onions, they told me. I liked it. Like, it had a big pile of diced onions, like this much onion. – Mm-hm, yeah, that’s too much. – Well, four eggs. – Okay, that’s an eight-egg, that’s an eight-egg, maybe even a 12-egg pile. – And then cheese, and bacon bits. It was good, I like a lot of onions. They cook down, you know? I should know, I’m a cook. – [Stevie] So they made you make your own dinner, and they watched and judged what you made? – Yes. – Wouldn’t you? (Rhett laughs) – [Stevie] I mean, yeah, yeah. (Rhett laughs) – Lando was the only one willing to offer any advice, but everyone else was just there to spectate. – You sauteed onions and scrambled eggs? – Yeah. In the same pan. – Did you have a apron on? – I wasn’t wearing anything. – Okay. – I was completely nude. – Receiving instructions from your family. Dad’s cooking again, don’t bother him, and don’t touch him. – This is good, still needs some butter. – Yeah, I think a little butter. – Okay. (people laugh) – [Woman] Okay. – A little butter would go a long way. It just makes me think how much I miss cheese grits. – Cheese grits. – And my mom wouldn’t, she wouldn’t get, I don’t even know if they made cheese grits, instant cheese grits, when she was making them for me as a kid. She would just get the regular grits, and she would put cheese into them, cheese and butter. – Ooh. – Man, that was something to wake up to. – This is nice. – Made me wanna just face life. – This is some good stuff. – Better than the tacos, not as good as the- – Better than the tacos. – The chocolate bar. – And we should have one more. – And, finally, we do. – Oh, gosh, okay. – Edible undies. – Edible undies from Sensuous with Taste, edible undies. – Now with more taste. – One just right for your man. – I’ve been married for… Good god. (people laugh) Okay, well, there’s definitely everything seasoning in there. – You just lost half your seasoning. – Yeah, it gets on the bedroom floor. – Sometimes, you lose your seasoning early. Don’t be embarrassed. – I’ve been married for almost 20 years. You know. – And never once donned these? – Never gotten these, and that makes me think, what’s the market for these? If a man who’s not willing to try new things. – No, a man who is willing to try new things. – No, a man who is willing to try new things. – Has never tried. – Has been married for 20 years. – And has never tried. – And has never tried these, who’s buying them? – When you say try new things, you talking about in the bedroom? Like, give me an example. – I would just say the way that I approach my culinary adventures is a good metaphor for how I approach things in the bedroom. (people laugh) Does the same hold true for you? I hope not, for your wife. (Rhett laughs) (woman laughs) – I’ve lost the analogy, but. – Yeah. – I get freaky in the bedroom, if that’s what you’re asking. (people laugh) – So I guess you just… (woman laughs) I already broke mine. I don’t wanna get everything on my everything, you know what I mean? – I feel like I do need to take my pants off to make this happen. – You know what, you can put them on. I’m just gonna lick it. – Yeah, I put it on, you lick it. (people laugh) – Stevie, I’m not gonna bring your ear into this, because that would just be taking it way too far. (people laugh) (people laugh) Did you spend some time reading at a bagel shop this morning? (Link laughs) – I’m sorry, my crotch sat on a Fruit Roll-Up. (people laugh) And then fell into some everything seasoning. – Mm, this is not good. – This is what you call thumbnail, right? – Well, no, we gotta do this. (people laugh) (Link laughs) That’s a thumbnail. – That’s good. – That’s a thumbnail. – We don’t even have to take a thumbnail after this episode. – That’s right. – Thank god. Sorry. (people laugh) Oh, this is number one. (people laugh) – Oh, of course. You’re gonna have to. (upbeat electronic music) – Forgot this show was still happening. – [Rhett] To get the “Rhett and Link Sing Lionel” vinyl release, join 3rd Degree monthly by April 30th, or 3rd Degree quarterly or annual by June 30th. Visit mythicalsociety.com for details.