(rooster crows) (lion roars) – Welcome to “Good Mythical More.” We’re gonna take the top three hot sauces from today, yesterday, and the day before, pit them against each other in a rubric of assessment. – But first we’re gonna donate $1,000 to the American Association of People with Disabilities to aid in their mission to increase the political and economic power of people with disabilities. AAPD advocates for full civil rights for the over 60 million Americans with disabilities by promoting equal opportunity, economic power, independent living, and political participation. Please join us in giving at aapd.com. – Thank you for being your mythical best and for hanging out with us in this More. So we’re gonna have pepperoni pizza, salad, chocolate ice cream, baked beans, Rhett. – Okay. – And hot coffee. Who puts hot sauce in coffee? We’re just trying to get cray cray? – Us today. – In order to determine our overall winner. Of course we’ve got the Fat Cat strawberry serrano hot sauce. That’s the fruity winner day two. The day one winner, which is the Buffalo Wild Wings hot sauce. And then the winter from today, Cholula. – And on our little, you know, table here, basically what we’re gonna do is give it a one, two, or three, rank it. If it’s the best on a certain thing, it’s number one. So in the end, you’re actually looking for the sauce with the lowest overall score to be our winner. You’ll understand. – I wish I was listening. – [Rhett] It doesn’t matter. – ‘Cause it seems like I need to understand. – I’ll tell you when you get to the ranking. – [Link] So what are you? – [Rhett] I’m taking a hair out of the Cholula. – Okay. – That’s the first thing I’m doing. – I’m handing you a slice of pizza. That’s the first thing I am doing. So we got this one ramekin for each. So we’re gonna start over here. This is the Cholula, right? – Yep. – Which we should probably put the bottles in the same place. – [Stevie] Yes, please. – Never had that on a– – Move that to the middle. This is Cholula – Never had it on a pizza, but. – You know what reminds me? You remember that place? – I don’t mind it. – What was that sandwich shop that had little pizzas in North Carolina? – [Link] Schlotzky’s. – Schlotzky’s. – [Stevie] They had little pizzas there? – They had little pizzas and they had a hot sauce that tasted a lot like this. – [Stevie] Schlotzky’s was a place that as an adult, I wish existed near us because I feel like I would like it. But as a child, it seemed like the worst possible sandwich place that my parents could have chosen to go to. Too complex. – I didn’t love it. They tried to put olives on stuff. Now tell me again, three, two, one, what? – The best one is one and the worst one is three. – Oh, oh, okay. Okay, so I need to taste all three before I rank anything. – Now that just tastes like you’re putting jelly on a pizza. Which just not bad. – Yeah, I don’t hate it. I’m actually gonna put that at number two. – Yeah, I’ve thought that the Buffalo Wild Wings hot sauce was the best one on this. – Yeah, me too. I put that at number one. I put the Fat Cat at number two, just because it’s like mixing things up. – I put it at number three. – They say hot sauce will give you dreams. Well, let, have you been having dreams? – I had the craziest dream last night. – So did I. And I think the cumulative effect of two days. – It must be the hot sauce. – Well, I wouldn’t say I had the craziest dream I’ve ever had, I had the craziest thing to ever happen to me in a dream happened to me. – Tell it now or you want to save it? – No, no, no reason to save it, just so we can eat salad. But all I remember about the dream was I was taking a leak in a toilet, okay? I was peeing in a toilet. – I’m just dipping lettuce directly into the sauce. – And a man, like a small man, and I’m talking like, like a man about this tall started crawling, crawling out of the toilet. – Toilet Man, he’s been in my dreams. – I was so shocked that I stopped peeing. – Well good. – And he was trying to get out of the toilet, and I have this like bird’s eye view right down, like, you know, you would have when you’re peeing in a toilet, and this small man dressed in like a normal outfit, it wasn’t even a wet, but he came out of the pipe. Wasn’t a leprechaun, just a normal man, just leprechaun sized or maybe smaller. How tall are leprechauns? He reaches up, grabs my wiener and like uses it like you would use a rope. – Like a rescue rope? – Like a rescue rope, and I’m not saying that– – Good for you. – I’m not trying to say. – Well, he was a little man. – That I got a rope-like wiener. – He got his hands around it. – He must have thought I did. – He grabs, I’m just watching the dude grab my wiener and just like rope rescue himself out of the toilet. – You didn’t, did you say anything? – I just stood there dumbfounded and happy to help. – What did he do when he got to the top? – That was all I remember. – [Rhett] That’s enough to remember. – It was just like, but that memory is seared into my mind. No beginning, no end, just a lot of middle right there. Grabbing and pulling. – You know who it was? Rumpleforeskin. (laughing) – What? He did rumple it. He definitely rumpled it. And I mean, it’s a weird feeling. – The legend of Rumpleforeskin. – [Link] Okay, you made your joke. – You better watch yourself. – I’m just telling you how I felt. Don’t fight it, but don’t like it. – Okay, while you’re tasting your salad, I don’t, let me tell you, I don’t, I can’t top Rumpleforeskin either in dream content or joke, but I will say one of the strangest things that’s ever happened to me in a dream that I can’t point, there’s no point of reference for it. I was on a stage in front of an audience. – Okay. – I was dressed up as a George W. Bush impersonator, and the guy on the other side of the stage. – Like Will Ferrell. – Was dressed up like an Al Gore impersonator. He starts doing his thing. The crowd is going wild. At that moment, I realized that we were supposed to be funny. I was like, “oh, this is a comedic thing. I don’t know how I got here.” He’s making jokes about Tipper Gore, his wife, and people are absolutely loving it. And then he obviously has thrown it back over to me and I’m like, all right, it was one of those moments where it’s like do I do my impersonation of Bush? Or do I do my impersonation of Will Ferrell doing Bush? Which is what I resorted to, which in my dream was already bad. And then I was like, the Tipper Gore thing really went over well for him, so I was like “Speaking of Tipper, man, she put that parental advisory sticker on me.” Now that’s a deep cut. You have to know that Tipper Gore in the ’80s was very famous for starting the parental advisory, explicit lyrics movement that started getting put on rap albums. – I will give it to you, You came up with the joke that made sense on the spot in your dream. Was it funny? No. – No, here’s the thing. I thought it was super funny in the dream. And I noticed that a couple of people on the front row were laughing and then I noticed a lot of other people were looking confused, and then the people on the front row were like, “you’re out of sync.” There’s something wrong along with the microphone. – Oh, you were. – And then I was like, “so you’re hearing my jokes after I say them?” And then I began to implode. And then I woke up. Tell me how any of that was in my mind. – Well, first of all, apparently the hot sauce really does a number on you with your dreams, both of us, to have in the same night to have these crazy dreams. Point two, you’re following a form, especially as performers of like, you know. – Being in a situation, not knowing what’s going on. – And you’re in a competition. – Oh, now I have to be funny. Oh, the microphone is not working. Right. – All of that makes sense. – I thought that the Tipper Gore put the parental advisory sticker on me was good. – Well, if you were in sync. – Yeah, yeah. – I mean, that one seems to make sense that, okay, you got performance anxiety and you want to assert yourself as a funny guy, you know, simple as that. – But what about Rumpleforeskin? – Good question. What do I need more of in my life? I don’t know. – [Stevie] How’d the salad ranking go, by the way? – Salad, the Fat Cat, I mean, it is, it’s just like a spicy salad dressing. It had to be number one for you too, right? – No, it wasn’t. Buffalo Wild Wings sauce was my number one again for that. There’s something about it. There’s a sweetness to– – I put it at number two. – But I put the Fat Cat is number two on that, and Cholula last. Now on chocolate ice cream. – You want to show from your scores? On chocolate ice cream, huh? – Better than I thought it was gonna be, that’s for sure. You gotta be careful ’cause we have to eat. – That’s a lot. – But you know what? I’m gonna do this and just get a little bit, okay. Wing sauce doesn’t work at all. Cholula works pretty good on chocolate ice cream. But I have to assume that the Fat Cat is gonna be the winner on this one. I mean, it’s got the strawberry. – We had the vanilla yesterday with the, with the blueberry Tabasco. – Oh, that’s nice. Try that Fat Cat. That’s really good. Far and away, far and away the best one on this one. I wish I could give it a zero, which is good, remember that. Wild Wings was bad on this one. – Yeah, strawberry and chocolate. Wow. – It was like, you’ve been to the Hall of Presidents? – Yeah. – It was that kind of environment, except it was real people and it was just Bush and Gore, and I was Bush. – I’m giving Fat Cat ice cream number one. I really liked the Cholula. I thought that was gonna take it, and then my three is gonna be– – I think I did exactly the same thing. Yeah I did on that round. Now we’ve soiled the third sauce. It’s pretty much got chocolate in it now. – [Link] Well, I can see the, where it’s floating. – Bring in the beans. – Here’s your beans. I want to remind you to check out Josh and Nicole’s podcast, “A Hot Dog is a Sandwich.” They really get into it about food debates. They’re weighing in on this tournament and sharing their own hot sauce takes. So we got a little crossover happening. “A Hot Dog is a Sandwich.” So go over there, check that out. I’m interested to see what they think about the hot sauces. – You know, we’ve got multiple bowls for this. – Trevor, are they, do you have to put up with their opinions like off-camera or do they save it for their podcast? – [Trevor] No, they’re always talking about food. – They’re always talking about food. – [Trevor] The podcast is constantly happening in real time in the kitchen. – Do you ever hear them saying things like “let’s save that for the podcast?” ‘Cause Rhett and I say that to each other all the time. – [Trevor] Yeah. – They do say that? – [Trevor] They’ll start arguing about something and Josh is like “save it for the podcast.” – I love that. I love that, ’cause it’s always on their mind. They want to make a good show, and they are. – I don’t know what’s good about that, the sauce or the beans or both. – Well, how did you do this? – I just poured it directly into it. I mean, I don’t know how to recommend it, but that’s what I did. Do you have a fear of things coming out of the toilet in general? Like are you a snake coming out of the toilet kind of guy? – No, Lincoln did, remember that time he was on the show, when Locke and Lincoln hosted the show and they had a conversation about the things they were afraid of. And he was talking about stuff coming out of the toilet. – [Stevie] It’s so crazy to think about how old they are now and like what it would be like for them to cohost. – Those are both pretty good in there. – Both meaning all three? – No, I haven’t gotten to the, this one yet. – The Fat Cat just makes it, well I’m not gonna tell you ’cause you haven’t, you haven’t done it yet. – [Stevie] I didn’t have any crazy dreams last night. Thanks for asking. – You haven’t eaten any of the hot sauce. If you want to, eat some hot sauce and you’ll get a cray cray dream. I had another crazy dream the night before. I woke up and wrote the whole thing down, but it involved barging into a house that we happen to have a key to, even though the landlord was leading us down into the basement. – Huh, same scores. – And we met, yeah, I think the Cholula is the best on the beans because the Fat Cat just makes the beans which are already a little sweet too sweet. Taika Waititi was there, and I’d love to meet Taika Waititi. I looked him in the eye and I was like “Taika?” And he had a mustache, not a Hitler mustache. – Good, thanks for clarifying. – And he said “no.” And I was like okay. – This is your anxiety about accusing people of being themselves. – And then in that moment, his mustache disappeared. And I was like huh, but I knew it was him. And then I opened up a door and Jack Black was in there taking a nap. And I was like, “oh, sorry.” So I was running into all these celebrities and like totally not, didn’t belong there. So you can tell what’s going on. – Imposter syndrome, yeah. – Imposter syndrome. – [Stevie] It’s interesting that with all of the news recently, you chose to dream about him and not, I don’t know, Tessa Thompson or Rita Ora. – I didn’t know, I told Rhett about that dream. – He told me about the dream and I told him about the news and he had not heard about the news. – Him dating them, I didn’t know that. – [Announcer] You guys, it’s crazy how close these hot sauces are right now. Like this last coffee round is gonna decide the best hot sauce in the world. – It really is, isn’t it? – Man, we should bring Randy back in to abdicate our decision. Okay so what I’m gonna do is I’m gonna, I’m gonna dip a little dippy. I’m just gonna put some coffee. – I’m gonna put it into the coffee. – Yeah, we have enough. Okay. – I’m putting it right into the coffee just like I would anything. – Here you go. – [Stevie] I did though have an experience at about 4:00 AM which involved Cassie coming into the, Cassie likes to eat in the middle of night. So I luckily usually sleep through everything. She came back into the room and yelled a loud, shocked expletive, which immediately woke me up and nearly gave me a heart attack. And she had stepped in Ringo’s vomit on the floor, and was dangling her foot in the air in need of assistance. So of course I got up and went, I got everything. I cleaned everything up and went back to sleep. That’s all. – You cleaned it up? – [Stevie] Yeah. What do you mean? Why do you say it so shocked? – Well, why didn’t Cassie clean it up? – We would never have done that. – I mean, Cassie was already up. – [Stevie] Well, she had to clean her foot. – She’s engaged. – Oh. – [Stevie] Wow, that, I, okay, now I understand what you guys would have done in this situation. – Well, okay. – Yeah, it’s called a roll over. – Last night, maybe, I dunno, maybe Ringo and Barbara got into the same thing, which is probably not possible ’cause they weren’t together yesterday and I don’t know if they’ve ever been together, but Barbara, we were just like watching TV and she just, she just threw up and then just, you know how dogs will just throw up and then just act like nothing happened. I did that and now I’m coming up to lick you. – Yeah, yeah, that’s what she did? Was Ringo okay? – [Stevie] I didn’t, we both didn’t hear him get up and throw up in the middle of the night, so that’s why it was such a shock. So yeah, he was fine. He’s not great with understanding that the bed is not his. – This is horrible. – This is all bad. – [Stevie] That’s all. I don’t have a lot of bed space to sleep in is all I’m saying. – All right. We got to come to a conclusion. – Well I haven’t had the sweet one yet, which I’m thinking this sweet one gonna be the best because at least it’s, there should be some cream in this coffee. I mean, I know that’s not what this was about. – Well here you go right here. – I mean, yeah. I think to give it some sort of a shot. – Here we go, round two. Okay. – This is just a bad idea. – It’s all bad. – But it is the reason that one of them is gonna be the best hot sauce ever. – But if I had to, if I had to choose one of these, there is a clear winner for me and a pretty close second. And one that just was wildly not great. And there you go. There are my final scores, which I actually think puts Cholula as my lowest score by one point. – I put Cholula as number one for the last one. – Me too. – Oh yes. All right. So six, seven, eight, who won? – [Announcer] By a point, Cholula becomes the best hot sauce for everything. And then you have Buffalo Wild Wings hot sauce. And then just by one more point, Fat Cat strawberry serrano hot sauce with a strong showing in third. – So they’re all pretty, there’s not, I mean, there is a winner, but not a real clear winner just by a point. – [Announcer] That’s right. – There you go. Cholula takes it home as the best hot sauce and the best hot sauce of all. (upbeat music) I need to put a parental advisory sticker on me. Get Tipper to do that. – Take like the natural sugars in watermelon and really reduce all this down with some other unnatural added sugars. You know recipes that are like “no added sugar.” I’m like (scoffs) eat a half cup of honey, idiot.