(rooster crowing) (lion roaring) – Welcome to Good Mythical More, you’re here because you wanna know what condiment makes the best fart sound. – Mm-hm. – Kudos. – But first, would you like a random disturbing fact? How ’bout, “Every unborn baby grows a mustache in the womb which spreads to its entire body.” – What? “During the second trimester of pregnancy, all babies grow fine hair on their upper lips, that then spreads to the rest of their bodies. In most cases, this hair called lanugo,” oh, I’ve heard of lanugo! I thought it was a boy band. “Falls out before the baby is born, and is reabsorbed or eaten by the baby in the womb.” Like, babies in wombs are strange. – Yeah, they’ll eat anything. – Yeah, sometimes a baby will come out with a little bit of that lanugo on it. You’ll have a hairy baby. – Yeah, lanugo that holds on. – But it’ll go away. Don’t worry. It’s just kinda like if, you know if like me, they go in there with the clampers. – The forceps. – With the clampers on the head, the head’s gonna be a little weirdly shaped. – Forever. – And then you just blow on the baby’s nose and mouth at the same time, and it just koing, it all comes back out. – A good doctor can do that. – Right, right, right. All right, let’s make some predictions here. What do we think is gonna get the best fart? And it really, I mean, it’s a combination of the viscosity of the liquid, and the… The machination of squirt. – I think that the ketchup consistency is the best for a fart noise, but I think that the technology of the opening has addressed that in a way that ranch has not thought about. – So this Heinz, I think it has a… – A membrane that pierces. – It has a prolapsed sphincter. – Yeah, right, it has a sphincter. They don’t do the sphincter on ranch. – So it doesn’t work as good. – The Hidden Valley, they haven’t found the sphincter yet. See, it’s just a hole. I think I’m going with ranch. Ranch is gonna be the best. – [Stevie] I have an on-brand story for this particular More. – And also, do you have a prediction? ‘Cause Rhett’s saying ranch, I’m saying mayo is the best farter. – [Stevie] I’ll go ketchup to make things interesting. – [Both] Okay. – [Stevie] So, we were having a crew-wide production meeting, and… I heard Ringo barking hysterically, more than he does for a delivery, so I was like “Okay, somebody’s here, and I need to go take care of this,” but our whole team is on this production call. So I got up, I was frazzled. Ringo’s barking, I have to hold him back, he’s a monster, he has no manners, he’s scratching at me, he’s trying to go places. And it is one of our neighbors, and her cute little, probably four year old girl, and they have baked us brownies. And the girl has brownies all over her face, and I’m holding onto Ringo, and I’m like “I’m on a big call, I can’t, I’m sorry,” and I felt so bad, I was trying to communicate “I can’t do this right now,” but also be thankful for the brownies and this cute little girl. – Through a screen door, or what? – [Stevie] I had opened the door, so I was still holding Ringo at this point. – When’s the last time you saw a screen door in Southern California? – [Stevie] So, I took the brownies (indistinct), and she’s like “Oh, I’m so sorry,” and of course the little girl’s like “This jerk, I don’t understand what’s happening.” So then I come back to the meeting, and the next conversation is “And we’re doing ‘Which condiment bottle farts the loudest?’” And I was like “That’s what my, I just communicated to my neighbor I was on a very important production call, I could not entertain her daughter and have brownies.” – Stevie, I thought this was gonna be a fart story, like, that little girl just ripped one, and then Ringo attacked her face trying to eat the brownie. – The average person farts 14 times a day. – And then you farted. And it was so loud. – [Stevie] I mean, at some point in there. – And wet. – Oh, gosh. – [Stevie] You know what? I get plenty of DMs, we don’t need to go into it. – All right, so, I’m gonna… Should I take, how do we do this consistently? Should I take all of it to the bottom and then, or…? – I think we need to experiment. I think… – I’ma do it on the side. – Yeah, get it going on the side. – So here’s mustard. Oh, that was quiet. That’s not gonna work, it’s gotta be at the bottom. It may all have to come out. (bottle farts) There we go. (bottle farts) That’s forceful. That’s you pushing way too hard. You know? When a fart comes out at hyper velocity. That hurts, too. – That sounds like a breathing problem, not a fart. – Yeah, that’s nothing. It’s like a angry cat. (bottle farts) – Yeah, I mean it’s loud, it’s proud. It’s intimidating, but… – It’s outta here, it sucks. – It’s not a fart. – You wanna go…? Well, I kinda wanna save our predictions for last. Go for that one. – I don’t have high hopes for this relish. Look at the hole, that is a big hole. – That’s a gaping hole. All right, just give it a good fart shot. (bottle farts) – Oh. Oh, oh, oh. (bottle farts) Oh! You know… If your body makes that noise, check your pants. (both laugh) – Check your pants. – This noise, this noise. (bottle farts) – If your body makes that noise, check your pants. You know what I’m saying? – You don’t even need to check ’em if that happens. – You don’t even need to check, you need to change your pants. – Listen. Oh. – It’s out. Squeeze it and suck it back up in there, to give it another fart shot. – Well no, there’s still some in there, it’s just, it doesn’t have a lot of liquid in there. It’s just got dry relish. – If your body makes that kinda noise. – Oh, here we go. (bottle farts) – We got what we needed. – You think that’s better? I think that’s better than ketchup. I mean better than mustard. – Of course. Mustard is horrible. Mustard’s out. – That sounded like it could come from your body. – [Stevie] Are you not ranking them, you’re just completely eliminating them? – Yeah, yeah, yeah. We’re eliminating them. – We do have ranking stickers. – Oh, yes. Okay. – But we don’t know yet, so for right now, we just know that… – This is number one. – This is better than mustard, all right, you do one on your side. – Ken’s Chunky Blue Cheese. – That is a good blue cheese, my momma had that in the fridge all the time, mm! – And, oh, that is a gaper. – But the chunks create problems, trust me. – Okay, lemme… – Oh! You see what just happened? The whole thing just transferred into the bowl, with no noise! – Maybe it’s technique, though. (bottle farts) – Oh. Oh, that’s a relish thing, but it’s not as good as the relish. Horrible. – It’s a reject, man. – Horrible, I think that’s worse than mustard. – If your body makes that noise, check your pants. – All right, we’ll move to ketchup and save our two. This is Stevie’s prediction. – Stevie, this is your pick here. – Starting off sideways. Again, there’s a membrane there. (bottle farts) Ooh, that was pretty good at the end there. (bottle farts) Hm? – Mm-mm. (bottle farts) – No, that first one was pretty good, man. I think that might be the best one so far. – No, it didn’t sound like a fart at all, though. – [Stevie] It has a higher pitch. – That first one, lemme see if I can suck some back in there. – Wow. You are really draining it. – Look at that. Oh, it’s all coming back in there! (bottle farts) Now let’s listen again. Give it a chance. Think of it as a small butt hole. (bottle farts) I mean, that’s pretty farty, man. (Link imitates bottle fart) Does anybody agree with me that’s pretty farty? – [Stevie] I agree. I agree, that’s pretty farty. – Wait, it’s your pick. – [Stevie] I know. – I think this is the number one right now, I think this is ahead of relish by a little bit. – I mean, I’m gonna go ahead and say this is number, we can change it, “It was the chair, I swear,” it didn’t sound like a fart, it sounded like a chair to me. – [Stevie] The way you’re insisting on playing this game, is so interesting to me, Link. – Are you surprised? – What do you mean? – [Stevie] Well I was like “Okay, are we ranking them?” You’re like “Yeah, (indistinct) but no, we’re gonna dismiss some,” and then Rhett was like “Well also we have stickers, so after we rank ’em we can put the stickers on,” then you were like “No, I’m gonna take our number one seat, put the number five sticker on it now.” – The best one so far is now number five in Link’s line. – No, that’s the number two. I didn’t know there were numbers. – So that would be… – This is number two by the way, though. The relish is number one. – [Stevie] Not according to Rhett. – Okay, I think that the ketchup is better than the relish. – Well… – But, go with Ranch. We’re gonna need a bigger boat. – This is too much. – We need a big bowl, this is all coming out. – Just gimme, you know what, just the trash can, right into the trash can. – Ew. – You ever crapped in a trash can? – Probably. – You hear that? (bottle farts) It’s too smooth. – Not as good as ketchup. – It’s too smooth. – I’m telling you. – The liquid’s too smooth. – Not as good as ketchup. – I mean that’s a blowout. I mean, I’ve seen the walls of a public restroom look like that. But darker. – Yeah, but it isn’t white. – How do they do it? You go into a public restroom, it’s like, how? I’m craning my neck upwards. – You’re like “I would love to see how this happened,” then you’re like “No, I would not love to see how this happened.” – But it’s just like, how does it happen? – Well, I’ve got quite a lot of mayonnaise in this, we might go to the trash can here in a second. (bottle farts) – It’s got a conicular funnel. – They’ve made these better than they were in the 80s. – They’ve made them to fart less. – They’re like, there’s somebody at these places like “Hm, I gotta get rid of the farting.” They’ve done it scientifically, they’ve made that perfect. I mean, do you see that? – I bet they formed a task force for it. A fart task force. – Fart force. (bottle farts) – It sounds too chirpy. – Again, what’s the best so far? Ketchup. – The relish. – [Stevie] Carney said it sounded like a dolphin, which it really did. – It does sound a little bit, how do I? – The relish was a good ploppiness. The relish sounded like somebody took a crap in their pants, it didn’t sound like a fart. It was a shart. – If your body makes that noise… – It was a shart, easily. – Check your pants. – This was a fart. Ketchup was a fart. – [Stevie] Listen, if ketchup wins, it’s okay that I was not very nice to the little girl who made me brownies, that was very cute. – I’m just telling you, but listen to this, guys. – [Ben] Link, just unscrew it and pour it back in. – Really? – Can that be done? I mean, I’ll gladly give the relish number two. ‘Cause it does sound like something that came from a human body. – [Stevie] Get it? Number two? – Right, yeah, it sounds like a number two. – See what you’ve done, Ben? (crew laughs) Way to go, Ben. – I need a funnel. You have to take off the top of the mayonnaise and funnel the relish back into its own self. – Cheek splitter. – And again, just for reference. Gotta get this back in here. – None of them are farting in the way that I expect. (bottle farts) – Sh, sh, lemme do this. – Sounds like a bird. – Before I do this, I wanna say that the new society-exclusive item, the newest one, Mythical Society onesie, you gotta get it, sign up to third degree quarterly or annual by September 30th to qualify. MythicalSociety.com. Get you that onesie that we got over here. – That’s a farty sound. Oh, come on, that’s too complex. – I just wanna get one more of these out. (bottle farts) – Yeah. – I mean, that’s diarrhea, it really is. – I think the “science sphincter” goes to ketchup, Stevie, you were right. – And, “hearty but farty,” “wet and wild,” I mean this is wet and wild, too, I’m just telling ya. It’s also wet and wild. – It wins multiple awards. – Yeah. – And I think the best design is the mayonnaise. I think it looks, has a great aesthetic, I think that the way that thing poured without splatter at all, and very little farting, so Hellmann’s wins the best design. (upbeat music) – And apparently, you win. – [Rhett] To get the Mythical Society onesie, join third degree quarterly or annual by September 30th. Visit MythicalSociety.com for details.