Welcome to “Good Mythical MORE”. We have a number of onion cutting methods that will make it where you don’t cry while you’re doing it. We’re gonna test those out. But first, let’s check our voicemail. Yes. What’s up, Rhett and Link? You guys are amazing. And also, we named our six-month-old baby after you, Rhett. So eat some beans and have a good old day. Love you. They named a six-month-old after you. Like what? It took them six months to work up the courage? They called me and I said, “Take some time to think about it. Just call him Boy until then.” And then they waited six months and now they call him Rhett. Boy. I’m gonna leave this over here so I don’t damage it. And I sent him a… He’s a member of the Bean of the Month Club. You can feed a baby beans right out of the womb. That’s the one solid food. You stick a bean in there, it’ll soften up. Seven different methods- What was the Johnny Carson character? For onion cutting. It says it right there. What was this? The great Balthazar? What was he saying? I can’t remember. Carnac. There you go. Carnac the destroyer. All right, so onion cutting methods in order to not cry and embarrass yourself in front of your friends. The first thing I’m gonna do is just cut a regular onion, just to prove that I will cry. I also have on glasses, which makes it harder for me to cry. Well, take ’em off. Just a little bit of a shield. Well, then I can’t read. I’ll put them down. All right, so you’re gonna try that one. And then we’re gonna try the water paper method, and then the cold method, the candle method, the underwater method, the gum method, and the fan method. So let’s try these things. Okay. I’m not gonna take the time- If none of that interests you, then that’s all we’re doing. I’m not gonna take the time to do the proper Rachel Ray onion cutting technique, okay? So I’m just gonna slice these like this. And I’m gonna put my face over it to see if I can cry a little bit. You crying? Well, now I’m gonna take these that have already been cut. I’m just gonna put them together. And we’ll just, I don’t know, just… Glad I bought a ticket to this. This is fun, man. This is like a front row seat to somebody chopping onions. Look at that. I have front a row seat to an onion chopper. And you, ain’t you gonna go to the onion chopper show? I’m gonna be there. I’m gonna get front row. I’ll be looking at it right… I’m gonna stare straight down the barrel of that onion chopping, something like that. Okay, here we go. I’m not crying. Are you crying? You don’t have to get it in your sniffer. Should I sniff? It’s not how it works. Should I sniff? Okay, it’s really getting me. Oh. It’s getting you? Oh, yeah. Cry, man. Think about something sad, too. Well, that’s cheating. I don’t wanna think of… I wanna think of only happy things, gum drops and… Maybe I’m in . You’re not really over them. Oh yeah? Now, I’m not really over them. This is why you… You know what? I think you should be allowed to chop onions today. I think I should, too. Here. Take this knife. Take the baby knife. This won’t kill you as much. All right. Oh, first I gotta get rid of that. So are you crying? I mean, I don’t get to a point where I like openly weep. Okay. Okay, don’t do stupid things, though. That’s not edible, man. Yeah, it’s also an onion peel. I’ve practiced this. I did a whole video where I learned how to do this. My eyes are definitely… You scared me, man. My eyes are definitely feeling it, about normally. A blog. I don’t normally… It’s not normally a huge amount of tears. It’s not open weeping, but it’s definitely getting to me. I would have to back away and recenter myself. So I’m gonna set these aside. Technique number one is just to put a wet paper towel. It says, “Supposedly the sulfoxide fumes that the onions release while cutting are attracted to a water source, so placing a wet paper towel on the cutting board will allegedly draw them to the paper towel instead of your nose and mouth. Okay, well, I’m just gonna do that right now. Speaking of a nose run. So the fumes are gonna be sucked towards the wet paper towel. This is bull crap. I got a wet paper towel, but I wanna see if I can just cry. So I’m gonna use a knife with no glasses. I don’t have to read the onion, you know? Can we talk about the small segment of mythical beasts who believe that we’re overreacting by gasping at you using a knife. And they think that you really deserve a chance. And they think it’s something that the writers have written for you, which is an interesting perspective that they’ve written that you’re bad with knives. But you’ve cut yourself, injured yourself, fainted, wielded the knife in really inappropriate ways multiple times. I’ve got nothing to prove. Okay. This is not helping. This is not helping. It’s as intense as ever. What if paper towel doesn’t work? I would just like… I mean, the fans, in the comments, please let me know, do you feel better now that I haven’t said anything about Link and his knife and how he shouldn’t have it? ‘Cause then you get this. That didn’t help you? No. Use a cold onion. Don’t Tweet at me. I’ve got a cold onion here. Freezing around 15 minutes or… Oh yeah, I’m starting to get a little tear. Or refrigerating around 30 minutes, the onions can supposedly slow the production of the chemical. What? and overall… Freezing or refrigerating the onions can supposedly slow the production of the sulfoxide fumes and overall create less while you are cutting so there is no irritation in your eyes. Okay. But then you gotta keep your onions- Cold. In a fridge or freezer. I don’t have any room for that. Ain’t nobody got room for that. Okay. Oh, gosh. Oh, this is like so much more intense, like than it has been before. It made it worse? It made it worse. Do I have a cold onion? Well, the other onions are still there. Yeah, but I moved him to the side. I’m right over these. And as soon as I started cutting them- You’re not. You’re not. I don’t think they’re far enough. Yeah, they’re far enough. Oh, man. Oh, my good eye’s crying. That doesn’t work. Cold onion doesn’t work. I mean, I now realize that this is not- I think we need to get rid of- I’m pushing them. Okay, I’ll push them all the way down. I think we need to get rid and we need to push them in the trash. Too late for that. Push them in the trash. And I’m gonna wipe this down to get all the onion juices off. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with crying in the kitchen. It’s a good place. It’s a good place to cry, especially late at night when you’re by yourself. And if you need something to make you cry, just use the onions. All right, so these are going in here. So just to confirm that I’m not being made to cry by the onions that are off to the side. Do you wanna rake them into the here? Okay. Which one do I wanna try now? I think I’m gonna have to rake them. Yeah, you’re gonna have to… Yeah, rake them into this. I have a trashcan. Yours is rounded, though. You need a rectangular trashcan. Thinking the round one might be better. Whoo. Woo! All right, we gotta try… What about a fan? Let’s skip to the fan. We got a fan here. Oh yeah, how do we turn this up? How do I turn this up? Okay, that’s gonna smell. The fan’s got a timer on it, but it doesn’t have a up turner. Oh. Oh, yeah. Just dry your eyes out for a little bit. Okay, I got no onion situation. While I’ve got a little break in this, I will let you know. Not a sponsor. Let’s talk about that. Onions are not a sponsor? We’ve got plushies. It’s the last quarterly collectible item of the year on the Mythical Society. You gotta be a 3rd Degree member to sign up for 3rd Degree Quarterly or Annual by December 31st. You can learn all about that at mythicalsociety.com. I have one, too. Not a sponsor. Let’s talk about that. Smell that. Okay, what is the thing we’re testing? Well, a fan. Oh, I have a fan. We should blow them not at each other. We should do this. We should put them like this. Yeah, that’s gonna create a… That’s good. That’s gonna create a vortex. All right. How do you turn it on? It was already on. Now, this makes sense because it’s just gonna take the fumes and it’s gonna blow ’em towards you. And then they’re gonna blow it… And then it’s gonna blow off past me. Okay? That’s right. This feels like the first one that has a chance. Yeah, ’cause nothing’s coming up anymore. And you can also just open a window on a breezy day. But you gotta open a second window. You don’t know where the breeze is gonna go. Yeah. See, I’m only taking half of the onion here. This is helping, but you have to have a… You have to put a fan on your work surface. Do you really wanna do that in the kitch? I mean, a fan like this, wireless? From Guzzle? Just to break it out? It’s working. Just to break it out for onion cutting, you got a fan just for onion cutting. Nothing’s happening. Well, mine’s starting to build up a little bit. Oh, my fan’s off. Oh, there you go. Proof positive. The fan really helps. I don’t like having a fan on my work surface. Oh, immediately- It feels better. It helps. All right, so that one- What’s wrong with my fan? Why does it keep going off? Well, it has a timer on it. What kind of timer runs a fan for five seconds? I don’t know. Let’s go to the next one. Fan works. Chop underwater. This is more straightforward. By not allowing the fumes to enter the… How am I gonna chop underwater? Like a diver. Let’s try it. I’m gonna put this in my… I’m gonna rake all of these onions into my crotch. Oh, yeah. Crotch raking. Just so you know, you should use the back of the knife for raking because it dulls the blade when you use it. Wait, if I fall asleep, oh, oh! Think about that. What if I just, oh, fell asleep right on that? See, that’s why I don’t do that. Safety first, man. If I fall asleep, oh, see, I’m not gonna scalp myself. But with this way, oh, really gonna… But I’ll do it your way. I’m getting pretty sleepy. Oh. It is really bad without the fan. Fan works. Did we say that? Let’s go with some submersion. Ooh, yeah. All right, so I’m gonna put this in here. And those of you who have already commented that we’re wasting onions, let me speak to you for a moment. Ooh, test this. I’m crying. We’re not wasting onions. We’re cutting them to figure out the best way to cut them in order to cut them without crying. This onion is probably getting… This onion might be doing more than the onion that you cut up this morning and put in your breakfast burrito because that onion served you alone. This onion is going to serve however many people decide to take these anecdotes and observations and apply them to their onion cutting experience. Think about waste in a different way. Expand your mind. Delete your comment. But it was cool, man. I don’t know if I agree, but that was cool? What’s the next? Lighting a candle, which also makes it romantic. So you light a candle and I’m gonna do what arguably is the most safe thing. You light that candle, and I’ll light this candle. I’m cutting an onion- Underwater. Underwater. You skipped candle. I got it. ‘Cause we don’t want have to both test everything. We’re like two scientists in a lab. I mean, I’m no expert, but this doesn’t seem- Say that again. This doesn’t seem safe, man. I mean, ’cause you want a board. You don’t want like a slippery surface to be cutting in. Have you deleted your comment yet? This is an accident waiting to happen. Oh, you thought about it. I’m going to try it. Oh no, you doubled down. I mean, everything You did a second comment? That only helps us with the algorithm. Thank you. Everything is so slick. Got him! The knife is wet. The onion’s wet. Oh, I see. You’re ironically making comments about food waste now that I brought it up to make the problem seem like it was worse than it would have been if I hadn’t said nothing in the first place. Again, it only helps with the algorithm. Got him! Look at how dumb what I’m doing is. Oh, you decided not to comment to begin with so you wouldn’t accidentally help with the algorithm. But that way, I don’t even have to know what you think. Got him! You see, I win. You lose. This is so romantic. Thought you were gonna say it again. You’re not gonna say it again? What do you mean? Got him? Yeah. I’ll save it for later. How is the… See, that could have been it. Hold on, did you just cut yourself? That could have been it right there. What just happened? I was chopping an onion underwater. And I don’t know what to say. Got him! I mean, this is stupid. Yeah, that’s dumb. This is stupid. You got to have an underwater… You have to have that aquarium that’s big enough for you to get into, and then have a table in there, and then that works. But your knife is clean. How was the candle supposed to work? Because I feel as if it is working. I’m not crying. Lighting a flame nearby can allegedly help draw the sulfur compound released by the onion away from your eyes. It might be helping. It might be helping some, but you can’t combine the fan and the candle because then you just got a blown out candle. Here, chew a piece of gum. This is the last one. Are you trying to tell me something? Yeah. Supposedly, this unconsciously causes you to breathe more through your mouth rather than your nose, and the sulfur doesn’t enter your eyes. They’re saying when you chew gum, you breathe through your mouth? When you eat, you usually breathe through your mouth, which by the way, breathing through your nose is actually very important. You should be breathing through your nose, not your mouth for like 17 different reasons. But chewing gum doesn’t make me breathe through my mouth more than my nose. See. I mean, I chew with my mouth closed usually. I find myself opening my mouth to get some minty air across it. Oh, man, you’re crying. Oh, man. Yeah, you’re crying. And you have onion on your… What is that? That’s onion right there. How you get on your temple? It’s called getting onion on your hands and then touching your hair. Okay. This is stupid, almost as stupid as underwater. You don’t breathe through your mouth more when you’re gumming. I did. See, I’m gumming. I’m gumming and I’m talking and I’m not breathing. Now I’m breathing. I’m breathing through my nose still. Yeah, that doesn’t work. What does work is the fan. You remember that middle school thing we used to do? The fan works. You’d lick your fingers and then put the candle out? Do it. Oh, should I turn the fan off? Old to be in middle school again. What’s that on your finger? I don’t know. I burned it a little bit. Got him. To get the Rhett & Link Plushies, join 3rd Degree Quarterly or Annual by December 31st. Visit mythicalsociety.com for details.