Welcome to Good Mythical More. Have you ever looked at all the settings on your toaster and realized that you never used half of them? Well, that’s gonna change today, here right now. Why is there a plasticy smell coming out of this? Is this the first time it’s ever been used? I hope so. Either that or, oh, I put the plastic bread in there. So we’ve started on the- Highest setting. The highest setting, which will be- Seven. The most burnt toast and then we’re gonna go through every setting, even the Pop-Tart setting and the bagel setting, and we’re gonna array them out and see what this puppy’s capable of. First, we’re gonna award Lily a $30 mythical.com gift card because they repped that Merchicality out on the wild with #merchicality. Remember, if you rep that merch- You get more merch. And you do that #merchicality, we might find you and give you $30 so you can get some more. Even if the merch is posted mirrored so it looks like we didn’t spell it correctly. I don’t know. It’s fine. We know that you know that everybody knows that it’s correct or it’s correct in a mirror. I feel tired, man. Golly. Emotionally, I feel drained. I haven’t been committed anything that hard since the very early years of marriage. Everything that, yeah. Everything that could have happened in that game, except for me winning, happened. Man. I gotta say, what I will say, is that the deficiency of the puck is actually why I won. Well, the specific nature of the puck, which caused me fail, is the only reason I won because if it was regular puck, it would’ve bounced back like, three, four spaces. Yeah. It was only the tall stack. It might not ever happening again. And the fact that the right answer was just on the other side of the bump. Was on the edge, yeah. But that was the same reason that you lost another round. That’s what I’m saying. Because you top- My strengths are my weaknesses, Link. It’s starting to smell like bread now. Are you gonna not be scared when this pops up? Because I’m gonna be scared. It’s closer to you. I’ve never not been scared by a toaster. Is that a beard hair on top? No, I- Or a scratch? It’s a scratch. Well, there are more scratches. Whoa, look how scratchy that is. I’m gonna put my initials in it. I’m gonna put my initials in it. There’s probably a crew member who doesn’t have a new toaster and needs one, so you can give them one with your initials in it. Well, I marked it. I don’t actually have a toaster at my house. We have a toaster oven now. I don’t have a toaster oven, either. I don’t have room for toast in my life. Well, toaster ovens do more than just toast. Yeah? Yeah. I have an oven. And I have a microwave. I know a toaster oven’s like a fast oven. We had one in college. I know what it is. I’m just saying, I don’t think I’m missing that from my life because it’s not in my kitchen. I literally never use it, but the rest of my family, that toaster oven gets a- That was scary. You know what? That’s pretty quick. They’ve made it much. The new toasters don’t scare you as much. It’s just like a suggestion that now it’s time to eat your bread. Are you afraid to touch it? Yeah, is it hot? It’s not hot. No. Well, it is kinda hot. All right, so that’s. I’m gonna stack them this way. Level seven is too done. Yeah, that’s, some people like that. Anybody like level seven? Anybody like burnt toast? Oh. Chris and Marina really likes burnt toast. All right, so what did you put it to? Six. Six. I should go to five. Go to five. I don’t wanna go to every one, man. We can just interpolate. Interpolate. Because the other thing is, it’s already hot, so we’re taking that into account. I think it takes that into account itself. Oh, you think it does? I think it’s a smart toaster. Is this a smart toaster? What makes you think it’s smart? You know. What brand toaster is this thing? Probably can’t say that. Yeah, we can. It’s Hamilton Beach. It’s a Hamilton Beach. I had a great weekend at Hamilton Beach. The seagulls. Is it an actual beach? I don’t think so. I guarantee there’s a Hamilton Beach somewhere in the world. I would like to offer something to this toast conversation now. I didn’t know when to speak up about the toaster oven. Oh, I know you got some toast opinions. But yeah, I’m a fan of the toaster oven. It’s a quick oven and it comes and I use it quite frequently. I also use it to toast things and might I say that if you discover a bread that you genuinely love that’s not Wonder bread, Link, I think you that you might have room for toast in your life. In other words, if you begin to understand the complexities of bread. No, no, no, like specifically. Have you had Tartine Bakery? No, what is that? They sell it. There’s several different bakeries and restaurants, like in LA and San Francisco and I think New York, but they sell their bread also in grocery stores and Whole Foods and it’s- Sliceable? Yeah, you get it pre-sliced. Partine. But it is so freaking good. Throw up, Google a tartine for us down here. I thought a tartine was a layered dessert. Is that something that sounds like it? Maybe? If I’m gonna do toast, I’m gonna do a light toast, but I just don’t, you know. Maybe I’ve fallen prey to the whole, whatever that. Don’t eat your bread. Don’t eat too much bread diet. I think it’s also- I just don’t eat a lot of bread. Yeah, totally, but what’s on the toast. For me, you know? Because you can design yourself a nice toast. You take a tartine piece of bread, you can do a cream cheese, heirloom tomato situation and you’re like- There’s a place called Tartine in Silver Lake. I’m sorry, what? There’s a place called Tartine, Silver Lake. Yeah, yeah. Tartine has restaurants in LA. I didn’t know there was one. Oh, yes, I did know there was one in Silver Lake. That’s a five. That’s still, five getting close to me, but I like a light toast, man. So we’re going for three now? I know that avocado toast- That was seven? Is not on trend anymore, but a good homemade avocado toast situation, again, where you design for yourself what the toppings are like. Highly recommend. What about just a good old fashioned cheese toast? Yeah. I like that stuff, but I don’t know. I eat the same thing for breakfast every morning of the week for years of my life, so it’s like. It doesn’t have to be breakfast, though. I mean, most of the toast. What happens in my house is Jessie will get some bread and usually for the boys, because she doesn’t eat a lot of bread either, and she’ll take some sliced bread, some good bread. Not like this and she’ll butter it and just slap it in the toaster oven and then- Put it on their plates so they get a little toasted buttered bread. I used to make a cheese toast, but I would. Maybe it’s that I really like soft things. I just don’t like things toasted. That’s what it is because I would take a Kraft slice of cheese. I’d put it on a piece of bread and I’d put it in the microwave for 20 seconds. Whoa! What is wrong with you? And that’s what I would do as a kid. I would eat soft, mushy cheese bread. You shouldn’t have admitted that. I would do it right now. I just like a soft chew. Okay, I think we can make that happen. I like a soft chew. I’d love to see you eat a piece- We can arrange that for you. Of microwaved Wonder bread. With a piece of cheese on it. Matt Carney would like to personally put a piece of Wonder bread in the microwave and then give it to you. Yeah, yeah, Okay. He’s coming right now. I would like to see that. There we go. So now, we’re down to- This is the sweet spot. That’s the sweet spot for me right there. That’s very light. You afraid that the hard thing is gonna hurt your mouth or something? Because this isn’t gonna hurt your mouth. This level. I could live with that. Is there a lower one? There is a a one. All right, let’s see a one. And then there’s a bagel setting. Excuse me. Having fun with toasters. You should title the video that. Fun with the toasters. Having fun with toaster. Here’s another variable. Search tartine bread. You’re showing me the menu from a restaurant called Tartine. Who’s doing this Googling? Davante. Davante. Work with me, Davante. Tartine bread. There it is. Now hit that images. There we go. You can get it from Goldbelly. It just looks like a piece of- It does look like bread, yes. Medieval bread. I will say I did not claim that it did not look like bread. It’s a really dark. It’s got a lot of bubbles in it. It depends on, they have a bunch of different kinds of bread. That’s not toast, man. That’s just warm bread. This is, I like this. Now, here’s the thing. It doesn’t look toasted, but it feels a little. It’s got a little prickliness to it. There’s no burnt nature at all, though. Has a burnt nature. It hasn’t changed its composition. There’s no burnt nature. All right, in the commends, which of that’s do you prefer? Seven, five, three, or one. Oh, we’re doing that, huh? All right and- I just want a bunch of comments and all you’re gonna say is seven, five, three, or one. That’s your only comment. You can do other comments. I’m saying one. Stevie? I’m saying three. What are you saying? Okay, this is the variable I was gonna throw out. The level of toastiness of your bread, I think, is dependent on what you’re using your toast for. So if you wanted to do a buttered toast- Bagel setting. Or a buttered cinnamon and sugar toast, it might be a different toastiness, than if you wanted to do an avocado toast. You’re right. How do you know? How do I know that it’s working? I’m hitting bagel, but there’s no indication that it’s working. Oh, look at that. Hot dog on a stick made me cheesy bread. Oh, when it’s down. Yeah, so put it in there. Got it, okay. So put a bagel in there. I asked Matt where he got the Kraft single and he just said, “It was there.” It was there. Hey, we’re ready. This is 20 seconds? Enjoy. Sir? Did you say 20 seconds? Yeah. That was 20 seconds. Yeah. Save some for me. Just look. Look at that. It’s just so flacid. What don’t you like? But you like crunchy cereal. I haven’t had this since I was in maybe high school. But I had it a lot in middle school. I’ve never seen you eat this. While Link is enjoying that. Does it make you feel everything that you wanted to feel? Don’t put that in the toaster. We wanna remind you about- It’s so good. Blood Oath, Rhett and Link versus the Global Lovemaking Crisis, the comic book with two different covers. One where Link is the head of this particular creature that you can learn about and I’m the yeah, that part. And the opposite in the other cover. You had to be a Third Degree Mythical Society member in order to get this. That’s the only way to get it and it is one of the craziest things that we’ve ever put together. The story is bonkers in the best way. Show them the add on the back because it features a toaster. Oh, it does. Of a different variety. The Wiener Toaster 6000. Yeah. I got cheese on my- Gotta join Third Degree Quarterly or Annual by March 31st to get your copy, so you still got time. Mythicalsociety.com. We’re doing lots of cool things over there at the society. Things that you can only get on the society. I feel that’s a bonafide collectible. I would hope with as much fun as we had, I’d love to make some more issues of this. Heck yeah. You know? I’m burning up an eagle on yours. The story’s bonkers. So I like that. I’m on level seven on a bagel. The bagel setting, I don’t know- Sorry, so it is delicious? Oh. Try it. This is a man who would just put cheese on a plate and melt it in the microwave and eat it like a disc. He’s talking about himself. Now, if you wait too long to eat that, it gets- But Ritz crackers were a part of that. Yeah, but are you saying, did you use Kraft singles or did you use cheddar cheese? I thought you used cheddar cheese on your- I used cheddar cheese and I then I would sprinkle blue on top of that. Oh, man. Now, if you wait too long to eat it, the cheese will get hard. Good or bad? That gets nasty, so. And you can fold it over. Sometimes I would fold it over. Oh, you can fold it? Yeah, it’s still foldable. That’s the great thing about it. You can’t fold toast. It’s not bad. Gonna just eat that. It’s a piece of hot bread with cheese on it. It can’t be bad, but it’s like, 30% as good as it would be if it was toast. I just remembered, it’s better folded over. Yeah, you can’t fold toast. You’ll break it. Carney, would you be willing to make another one or? Do we have a toaster oven? I guess Mikayla, I’m fine if you make this one. 20 seconds. Do you want cheese or no cheese? Yes, cheese! It’s hot cheese bread and I want you to try it. I want to take a piece of white bread and I want you to put a slice of- Hey, like I said, it’s not bad. Orange cheese and I want you to do 20 seconds- But it’s not a real test unless you test it versus cheese toast. And I want you to fold it over and I want you to bite it and it’s its own thing. Don’t compare it to cheese toast because it’s not cheese toast. It’s soft cheese bread and it’s now reintroduced into my life and my teeth. Have you ever had Brazilian cheese bread? No, what is that? Yeah, like the roll situation? It’s a little ball of bread. It’s a doughy bread. Oh, gosh, it’s so good! You can get them. Yeah, Davante. Look, he’s catching on. And now, I had them at a real Brazilian restaurant and they were incredible, but you can actually just get these also at the frozen section, pre-made. Do these go that way or they have to go this way, right? I think we go that way so it’s grab-able. So this is a bagel on the seven setting, so basically, this is as much as you can toast a bagel in this toaster. Stevie, what do you think about that? As a Jewish woman? I’m sorry, I’m having a different conversation with Carney about, well, I’m not quite sure yet. What did you ask? I said as a Jewish woman, what is your opinion on this bagel being toasted at a seven? This is as toasted as the bagel can be. And I want you to take this, nice and hot. I want you to fold it over and I want you to bite the middle soft parts. The soft parts. Oh, it’s so fresh. This is 20 seconds? Yeah. I think you should go 15, man. 20’s too much, man. There’s steam coming off of it. In the 80s, the microwave- Lay it down. 20 seconds in the 80s was not 20 seconds in the 2020s. Pat it a little bit. It’s different. Should’ve had me make it. Push it. Push it. I think maybe even just 12 seconds, with the new wattages they have. What is happening right now? I don’t wanna touch his sandwich, but I want to prepare it how I would’ve prepared it for myself. Now, I want you to pick that up and I want you to- It’s amazing how you’ve made something that was nasty nastier, just by the way you’ve made me interact with it. You have a special ability. Pick it up and bite the middle. One bite and then don’t compare it to anything and show that to the people. Look at that. It’s like Velveeta. Man, look at this. But it wasn’t Velveeta. Look at what I did. Describe the experience. It’s very juicy. It’s the juiciest bread I’ve ever tasted. I didn’t think. We didn’t even push this down, man. Pop-Tart setting. Is there a Pop-Tart setting? No. I was. Oh, look at that! I got hot cheese on my finger! See, it’s gooey. I do want another bite. It’s flowy. Show that to the people. It’s steamy. You see how you can do that and you can have two pieces? The Pop-Tart is frozen, I’ve been told, and you’re supposed to use the defrost setting. Defrost setting. Oh, you said defrost and not de-frost. De-frost setting. Defrost. Whip out the de-frost. The bagel’s fine. See how it’s getting hard and now- The bagel’s fine. Yeah. See, look, this looks like a wrinkly old woman now or man. Yeah, right, come on, now. It’s an orange. It’s like a wrinkled old Floridian. Man or woman. Child, even. See how it’s? Can you see those wrinkles? Yeah, this is like someone who retired to the villages. A wrinkly old Floridian child. It’s like leather. If you don’t eat it fast enough, it turns into leather. That sounds like a good bio for Twitter or Instagram. A wrinkly old Floridian child. What you all think about that, Stevie? You and Cassie, me and Jessie, Link and Christy. Years from now, maybe 30 years from now. We all just go down to the villages in Florida and just start living there. Yeah. Golf carting it up. I thought we’d create our own village, our own Mythical retirement center. That’s catchy, right? That sounds like a plan. There’s a lot of money in old people. Tell me that doesn’t look good. This is what we’re gonna be eating. We’re not gonna eat anything hard. We’re gonna wanna eat something nice and moist and soft. We’ll all be sitting around at the village or our Mythical version of the villages, eating Link’s special soft cheese bread. It’s so good. It’s great. It’s like a Brazilian cheese bread. Yeah, just like it. No different. Smells like my middle school years, man. Don’t knock it until you try it and comment below. But this Pop-Tart’s gotta come up and get defrosted. We can kinda imagine. I like how we’ve prompted the Mythical Beasts out to comment several things on this video. We don’t usually, but in this one video, we are requiring multiple comments. We’re going for engagement here. Yeah. For freezer, put pouch in freezer. Wait 20 minutes. Enjoy that frosty goodness. There’s a sizzle happening. So they’re actually saying on the Pop-Tarts box to eat it frozen. Take it from frozen? For toaster, toast on lowest setting. Let cool before eating. Oh, crap. Remove foil before eating. I’m on the highest one. Let’s see what happens. It’s turning black. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s definitely overdoing it. I’m just gonna try. These were frozen. It’s still pretty cold. You wanna put some cheese on it? Oh, yeah. That’s a good idea. I will say, I had someone tell me. 20 seconds. Here we go. Hurry up because the episode’s over. Please. This toaster is really hot on one side. Oh, my goodness. Good golly. You will say what? The toaster’s hot on one side is what you wanted to say? See how burnt it is on the one side? I had someone tell me to put cheese on the McRib. Smoky. Smoky. Sprinkles. Sprinkles. I would estimate she’d be back and about 30 seconds total. Yeah because you’d think it’d take five seconds- Because it’s the 20 seconds plus the five seconds- To get there, 20 seconds, and five seconds to get back. So she should be back in like- Of course, she had to unwrap the cheese. Six, five, four, three, two, one, and then the door should be opening- Right now. She must’ve gotten distracted. I bet it was so good, she just ate it. Yeah, we’ll never know. Because we only live on the internet and as soon as this video’s over, we go away forever. I hear doors. Oh, there she is. She’s smiling. That took about 37 seconds. Oh, look at that. I actually put it in for 15. Oh, you know what? Save me a little bit now. It’s hot in there. It’s not that hot. It’s kinda like one of those apple pies with cheese on it. It’s really good. You stuck around for 20 minutes? Try that, too, and comment below that you did that because this the thing. This is the new thing. We found it. It took awhile. Yeah, that’s what this was all about. Cheeses on a Pop-Tart. Link’s hot cheesy Pop-Tart, soft. Join Third Degree Quarterly or Annual by March 31st to get Mythical’s first ever comic book. Visit mythicalsociety.com for details.