Welcome to Good Mythical More, we’re gonna debate some stanky would-you-rathers because, hey, we’re in the mood. _ Ah, I’m in such a mood. But first, let’s check our voicemail. Oh. Hi. This is Jimmy at the Santa Clarita animal control center. Center. We have something here called Randy. Um…He said that we should call this number to get in touch with his daddy. Uh, if you could give me a call back, again this is the Santa Clarita animal control center. Thank you. Wow. Randy got called by the, Wait, we…I love, we’ve got something here called Randy. That was great. Caught by the dog catcher again. Uh. Sandra. W…we did not call them back. Did we? Good. We don’t need to. He’ll find his way out. He’ll gnaw his way out if he’s got to. Either that woman does actually work at a Animal control. An animal control place or just knows exact me how to talk like you do. You know what I’m saying? Yeah, she did… Like that wasn’t like just some that wasn’t some kid. She didn’t sound like she That was a professional From Santa Clarita though. Center. Yeah, I think it was like, let me look on the map and see what’s close to them. The bits of stuff is just, I think the lube gave you a good protective layer to get at stuff out though but you’re gonna, you’re in, you’re in for it. Yeah. It takes a while to wash this here. So get comfortable in your egg, egg wash. I mean, we have, we have been through the ringer man. This is, I feel like it can’t move and clearly so do you. Yeah. Yeah. I’m, I’m yeah. Well I wanna say you guys look good, but you really don’t. You look really disgusting. We look horrible, don’t we? We look horrible. Yeah. Would you like to hear some would-you-rather scenarios in which stank is involved? We would. I mean, not really, but you know what? I’m willing to make a sacrifice. When I raise my eyebrows, my whole… my whole face is restricted by the hardened yolk. And it feels like a shell that like, oh gosh, like it’s just crackling. I feel like I got things that are trying to get in my mouth. Whether it be lube or slop. Let’s hear one, Stevie. Would you rather have such a keen nose that you can smell a burp from 50 yards away? No, no, no, no. Or, emit the smell of liver and onions every time you’re lying. Okay. I’ll take the burp smelling. Every time you..You lie a lot, huh? I think we lie more than we realize until you start smelling like liver. Here’s the deal. Everyone is constantly bending the truth. If someone was completely truthful they would be just like Jim Carey in Liar liar, and it would be completely insufferable. Everyone is constantly manipulating, saying something a little bit different than what they actually are thinking and meaning. It’s human nature. It’s actually good. It’s actually good for the structure of society. You don’t want people being completely blatantly true about every single thing. Humans aren’t..aren’t ready for that. And we don’t have a capacity for it. But if you didn’t know that it was, it was exposing them. Yeah they just stunk. I just don’t want to stink. Yeah. But I think that smelling things from 50 yards away, while it would be annoying at first, eventually it would be like, it’s a super it’s almost like a superpower. Yeah. Yeah. It could be used. It could be used for good. And it’s only related to burps. So it’s like, but is someone…just like lying, Is someone constantly burping? I don’t think it’s only related to burps I think burping was an example of the keen nature of the smell, right? Yeah. The way it’s written, you could you could take it that way. You could smell a fart too. And that’s a good point. You might smell a fart from 60 yards away. Well, and think about what things smell like when they’re right next to your nose too. I think you would adjust to that. It’s like a really loud noise that you can’t take, and then like 10 minutes later, you’re like, Well, if someone is hearing this Am I still hearing that? If someone is constantly burping then you’ll get used to it. But every time there’s a new person within a 50 yard radius burping, then you’re gonna get a new scent and your brain’s gonna ping it. He’ll be like, dang. Every… People are constantly burping. But that’s your..that’s your burden to bear whereas, Right. if you’re smelling like liver and onions it’s just like, you’re a problem for everybody else. Yeah. Yeah. And the reputation that goes along with it and then they’ll know that you’re lying too. So it’s like a double wham. Yeah. Yeah, you gotta go with the burp sniffer. Where’d you get these scenarios? The writers. Okay. The writers. The writers. So this isn’t like from Q…Quora or Quora. How do you, How do you say that? No. Yeah, I know what you’re talking about, great logo. Really great web design there. We’re…so did we choose correctly? Yeah. Yeah, we did. Yes. According to My arm is.. the answer guide, that was correct. crackly too. Would you rather live in a mansion that frequently has decomposing animals in the walls? Oh. Or Still stinky. a studio apartment that’s magically always clean? Well, that sounds nice. They’re all gonna be stinky by the way. Oh yeah. That’s the point. What, what A studio apartment that’s always magically clean? I guess the choice is, would you rather live in like a glorious mansion, but it smells like decomposing animals or Okay so you’re in like a giant, a giant house. Yeah. Or a tiny studio apartment, but it’s always magically clean, you don’t have to clean it. I mean, how tiny are we talking about? I mean, I think It’s a studio apartment And are, are my wife and children there? so that means no bedrooms. There’s plenty of people live in a studio apartment, but yeah, do they have three kids? Well I got one outta the house now. What is it? A one bedroom house. No. It’s a studio apartment. A studio apartment. Everything is one room. It all, your whole family’s there, that’s five for you. That’s four for me. I’m taking the big stinky mansion. I got rid of one, there’s only four for me. I’m taking the big stinky mansion because I can get away from those animals. I could also, They’re in the walls. That’s not nice to call your family. I can get away from those animals. I can’t get away from those animals. But we’ve also said that a constant smell, you get used to it. I wouldn’t have anybody over, but. I think you can convince yourself that dead, rotting animals smells good if you want to. Yeah, I think you could. I think you could eat right next to one after, after a month. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I’ve done that. I’ve done that. You know? Would you rather, okay sorry, I feel like I’m doing that right now. you’re picking the smelly mansion. You’ve, you’ve picked smelling burps and the smelly mansion so far. Um, would you rather have to share a bed with someone, for a night, who hasn’t showered in a month? Ew! Or, take a bath in a bathroom with an overflowing, clogged toilet. Ugh! Oh god! Take a bath? But the, I mean, the dooky water is just on the floor, right? Yeah. The dooky, the ‘dooky water’ is just on the floor. It’s just not, it’s not getting into the bathtub. It’s not specified, so yes, you could say it was just on the floor. Oh, my eye is so crusty. Are you attracted to the person who stinks in the bed with you? Why are you smiling? Why? Why you gotta do that smile. Well, you, you have to share the bed. I know what you think. So What, just say what you’re thinking. The words ‘have to share a bed’ Stinky. Stinky can be sexy? imply that no, you are not attracted to this person. If you’re really attracted to somebody, Sometimes it can be a good stink. I mean, I mean You’re really throwing your wife under the bus. I’m just saying, I’m just saying it’s like it can be a good, yeah I mean, look at me right now. If you’re really attracted, he’s right. If you’re really attracted to somebody, like Think about the olden days before, I mean it’s called pheromones. If you want ’em so bad. Yeah, it’s like. Can I just get into this for a second? Biologically, we have denied our actual nature. Biologically speaking, if you take out agriculture and you take out modern civilization, the stink was a good thing. It’s natural, but we’ve turned our noses up at it and think we gotta take baths every day. We’re a bunch of losers is what I’m saying. A, a month Not the French. A good month of stink was something that got y’all going for like, the vast majority of human history. And we just look back and say, oh, you fools. But we’re like in the last little blink of a eye in the history of humanity, you know, forget about it. A month of stink. That’s what I choose. Stink make Rhett horny, I think is the thesis. I think it makes everyone horny. It’s just, most people deny it, that’s all. I was just thinking it would be fun, I mean, it’s kind of nice that the press doesn’t write about us a lot because, because you know how they just like pick shows and they quote, they like just write the quotes and what the hosts say and like. Stink make me horny. Yeah. Yeah. If Ryan Seacrest just said what I said, boy, Yeah, exactly. He’ be, he’d be on the front page of Variety the next day. Yeah. Yeah. You know what? It’s actually, we fly under the radar. Ryan Seacrest thinks stink.. Stink make me horny, Link said. Link Neal followed up with. I wanna see the transcript for this episode. Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, I, I want Give us a hard one. I wanna go on one of the morning shows and say To say what we want to! Say what we want to say. That’s the frustrating thing, when you go on these shows, Like can we say, it’s just like, you gotta fit in their little box and be like, eh, we’re so happy to have this thing. Okay. You wanna go on the Today Show and say stink make me horny, but you’re not I wanna say because society is not letting you, like what? Yes. I wanna say, look at how clean y’all are, for no reason. Yeah. It’s a little, it’s a little, uh…what’s the word? Jim Carey would do something like that. Wouldn’t he? Anti…it’s, it’s septic. No antiseptic. Huh? It’s uh, Counter productive. Can’t think of the word. Intuitive. Would you rather Stink make me horny. Would you rather, We look so horrible. I mean, it’s one thing to say it isn’t Link Neal said, covered in egg yolk. Yeah, No one’s gonna watch this episode because they can’t stand a look at us right now, you know? Yeah. So we say whatever we want to. Yeah. But when the press is pointed, Hmm, yeah, yeah. everyone back here, they’re gonna hyperlink and the views are gonna shoot up. Hey, Stevie, submit this episode to the Emmy’s. Okay. Okay? Best host. And you know what, Best daytime host. Best daytime host. You think they, Listen, listen How many of the judges would get through this video? They’re gonna be like, how? What? They look like this every day and they can’t stop saying stink makes me horny. Hey, but the one with glasses has a bow tie on I mean, hey, hey, hey, we’ve gotta listen. We gotta listen. He’s got a bow tie on. I wanna keep saying stink make me horny so that no matter if the hyperlink doesn’t lead to the right spot. Right, right, right, right, right, right, right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I understand this strategy. Uh, it’s a new year. We got new merch for you. We wanna remind you of that, uh, But that means some stuff’s gotta go away. Uh, we have a last chance section of our store. It’s got all the favorites that you would want that are going away Yeah. and you gotta get ’em ‘fore they’re gone. It’s the last chance Last. section of the store. It’s the last chance section. It, it is stinky and it will make you horny. Yeah. Yeah. Get our stink make me horny T-shirt uh, for a limited time. I mean Can we sell one of those? We can do what we want to, right? Who’s, who’s gonna stop us. Huh, mythical.com, let me check this, oh. Stink can make me horny, number…number one seller. What are these people about? How you, how you gonna wear that shirt, you know? I, it needs to, it needs to be a pocket. It just needs to be It’s just, it’s just on the pocket. It’s just on the pocket. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe just on the sleeve, real small. Would you rather, have to wear underwear that’s never clean or, have to use a towel that’s never dry? Ooh. We know which one Link would pick. Ooh, oh, oh. No. I wear underwear, I wear, my underwear stay clean and I don’t do that anymore because I was, I was ridiculed about it. But I will say How? that when I did it, I clean, everything underneath the underwear was so clean that it didn’t matter. And I stand by that. How wet is this towel? It’s, quote, “never dry”. Never dry. I don’t know. But I mean, if it’s a, if it’s a, You just have to air dry. if it’s just a wet towel, I, I’m choosing the wet towel. You gotta.. ‘Cause you can use a, a you can use a hair dryer to dry off ’cause you do that, right? I do do that, yeah. Um. Yeah. I, that, one’s pretty easy, I think. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we’ve already established, stink make me horny. But I mean, Right. I want to have some clean drawers every once in a while, you know? Right. Right. Um, okay. Would you rather always have a faint smell of garbage in one nostril that you can plug up or not be able to smell at all? Not have a sense of smell. Yeah. But you can plug it up. So like Yeah. ‘can’ is, is bolded. Yeah. I’ll, I’ll plug it up. So it’s like, I got garbage smell all the time but if I really want to smell this pizza, I’d be like “what are you doing?” Oh, he’s got garbage in one nostril. Yeah. Yeah. Don’t worry about it. You’ll get used to it. That way, if you wanna be hungry, He does it all the time. If you wanna be hungry, go this way. If you wanna be horny, you go this way. Yeah. Yeah. It’s like a breathing exercise. Yeah. That one’s easy too. Yeah. Would you Food make me hungry, stink make me horny. I don’t even know how you would apply this. Would you rather have someone burp in your mouth once a day, or you burp your boss’s mouth once a day? Okay. Well. I don’t have a boss. So I think we’re talking about Jessie and Christy. We own, I own my own business, um. So Again, are you attracted to the person that’s burping in your mouth? I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Mouth to mouth, mm, It’s like resuscitation, but it’s Yeah, yeah. but it tastes like food too. Um, so you, so every hour or every day? Hmm? Uh, once a day. Once a day, Once a day you gotta like Both once a day. Somebody’s gonna come up and burp your mouth or you’re gonna go up to your boss. Yeah. And I’m gonna, I’m thinking about the last boss that I had. Right. Which I was, I was working as an engineer. Right. And he had a real bad coffee breath. My boss had a bad breath too, remember? I told you. But I’m burping in his mouth. Right. He’s not burping in my mouth. But when you burp in somebody’s mouth, it, it displaces what’s in their mouth probably into your mouth Is the, are the, it’s like a switcheroo. I could also wait until like later in the day when he’s like had some food, you know? Like it’s one of those things that like it covers it up a little bit. It’s, it’s a bit of an awkward relationship to burp into your boss’ mouth. I’m only gonna be doing this once a day. Don’t ask why, I, I chose this. Yeah. I think you might get laid off, you know what I’m saying? You don’t, You don’t wanna know what I chose not to do in order to do this. Yeah, I’d burp in my boss’ mouth once a day. Um, okay. This is the last one. The other ones, I feel like, are too easy for you. You’d really get used to it. It would become very like, He’d see it coming, he’d just be like Opening his mouth. He’d, he’d be on the phone. He’d be like, He wouldn’t even put it, put the conference call on mute. He’s like, “don’t worry, he’s, he’s got an agreement with somebody.” Whoa, whoa. Why is your boss so game? What’s he get outta this? He’s all, like “He’s contractually obligated.” Does your burp make him horny? I don’t, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t wanna get rid of him. This is, I mean, He’s a, he’s a star employee. If he, if he, if he’s going work here, There’s one drawback, but uh. he’s gonna be burping my mouth once a day. Would you rather spend a night in a music festival’s porta potty, or, Ooh, that’s bad. Ooh. That’s bad. Or, spend a week camping on a landfill? Do people come into the porta potty or you just, you just gotta stay in there. You keep sending them away when they open the door. Cause if you gotta be in there with every single festival goer, that’s a different scenario. No, no, you, no, then you send them away, but you got you’re trapped in there, one night? Yeah. Landfill’s not that bad. You get used to it, um. They do a pretty good job at the landfill. Yeah. Of filling the land. It’s kind of a fun place to be. Yeah. You know, we shot a, our short film “One Man’s Trash” way back in the day. We, they let us film at the landfill. It’s not as gross as you would think. No, it’s, it’s kind of cool. It’s kind of fun. Big machinery. It’s, it’s fun. It’s cool. Yeah. Yeah. Landfill all the way. Yeah. Kind of makes me a little horny. Are we gonna go on our camping trip? Oh, that’s it. Now we’re gonna go camping at the landfill, Stevie. Yeah, that’s gonna, and and now that we’re all smelling trash, it’s gonna make it, it’s gonna make it extra interesting. Because stink make me horny. Right? Yeah, yeah. Out with the old, in with the new, But before we do, check out our last chance section at mythical.com and get your favorites before they’re gone.