Welcome to “Good Mythical More,” you know you getting your Doritos on, but what beverage should you pair with it? Let’s find out. But first let’s do a new selfie face. This one is, “just woke up on a mattress on a river.” Oh, so it’s more like… Like that, you know? Yeah. On a river. The neckless river wake up. I’ve wanted to do just a big, long river trip. You wanna share this bag of Doritos? I think that could be part– Yeah, I’ll keep these for later. Part of our camping trip, is a river trip. Just sail down the river? I got some Doritos socks. Oh, those are… They smell like regular socks. They don’t smell like Doritos? And… After eating all those flavors, it’s tough to top nacho cheese flavor. Cool Ranch candle. Mm! That’s not bad! I’ve got handmade jewelry for any occasion, Doritos bags earrings. I might have to open up my holes for that. Yeah. You needed to have a open-up-the-hole-worthy occasion. My standard’s pretty high for opening up my holes. Yeah. But I think I’d do it for this. And, finally… This is opening-up-my-hole-worthy. This is Cool Ranch lip balm. Open up my hole for that, too. Let me see you try that. Here? Right here, man. Right here on this show, right now on your lips. Not in my hole. Around your hole. Right on the rim of my hole. Let’s say your lips. How is that? Is it cool? Is it ranch? Man, I wish you could try it. But you can’t, ’cause I already put it on my hole. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn’t smell great. It doesn’t smell great. I think it’s gonna impact my entire tasting procedure. Now, before we look at our candidates here, which you’ve already looked at… You’ve already looked at ’em. If you’re thinking about pairing a beverage with a Dorito– Coke. Coke? It’s not one of the choices. What about milk? Wouldn’t be that be the most horrible? I wouldn’t do it. I’m wondering if– They do it at the McLaughlin house though, growing up. Oh, I know. I wonder if the Perrier, the flavorlessness of it, will make you wanna open up your hole. Well, you wanna start there? Yeah. Let’s start here. I personally believe in complimentary flavors, just as a way of life. These are good. Dang, they’re good. This is pretty great, ’cause it doesn’t get in the way. It doesn’t compliment, but it doesn’t compete. And then, even if I wash it down. Yeah, I mean there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s nothing wrong with that. But it’s too much of a safe choice. Okay, well let’s go with Hawaiian punch. Now this makes me feel like a child. You know, you come back and your lips are red, and your tongue is orange. Your fingers are orange and your mouth is red. Caffeine free, three percent fruit juice. And I just drank three percent of it, I think I drank all of the fruit juice. I immediately like this better as a combo, because it’s doing something for me. Like, it’s trying to tell me something. You know what I’m saying? It’s not bad at all. They’re pretty complimentary flavors. It’s like dinner and dessert. Yeah! Sweet and savory, man. Sweet and savory. Then you wanna go back to the savory, and then you wanna go back to the sweet. Perrier is nothing, it’s like drinking water. But sparkling. That’s pretty good. All right, let’s go down to Australia. We’re doing a deconstructed Australian Dorito. I have high hopes for this, and I don’t even like Mountain Dew that much. Well…man, that’s complimentary. Yeah, ’cause you got the real tanginess of the nacho, and the tanginess of the lemon lime. This is what people have been doing? Been sitting around drinking Mountain Dew and eating Doritos? And I didn’t even know it. I think that’s the official combo of gamers, I do believe. Yeah. I gotta start playing more video games! If this is what it allows you to do. Up your calorie intake. Open up them holes! My hole is gaped right now. Wide open. Oh boy. What is this? What is this bull crap? Bang. Blue Razz Bang. This has got super creatine in it. This is really leaning into the gamer-ness of it. What did Doritos have to do with gamers? Really though. Easy to eat. Carbs, keeps you going. That can’t be true, because your fingers get all Dorito-y. Right. It’s a stereotype, Zach says. No, I think they don’t touch the bag. I mean, they don’t touch it inside the bag. They just eat it like this. Oh, really? Then you take the bag and go like that? Just shove it in? This is bang? That’s just bad. Yeah, not great. My hole’s closing back up, Stevie. Yeah. It’s contracting. Don’t say my name after that. Yeah, there’s no bang for our holes. Yes! We said no! He’s still around. Is Sprite better than Mello Yello because it’s more lemony? Mellow Yellow, what? I mean Mountain Dew, the fake Mello Yello. You know what I’m saying? Sprite’s good. Is Sprite better than Mountain Dew to me? But Sprite don’t have caffeine in it. Caffeine-free, why are you drinking it? Just for the sugar? For the bite. Very lemony. Lemon and cheese? It’s not as good. It’s not as good as Mountain Dew. You need the sweetness, man. Yeah. Something about this drives me… Wild. It drives me wild. It drives me back. It drives me back to the Doritos, it’s like a virtuous cycle. You know? Load up on sugar, load up on cheese, load up on our podcast. Hey, check out our podcast. Two lifelong friends talking about life for a long time. We laugh, we cry, we think, we fart. Well, we haven’t farted on the podcast in a while. Yeah. It’s not like, a normal thing. I don’t think we ever have. I don’t think it’s one of the selling points of the podcast. No, it’s not. You probably shouldn’t even have said it. You know what? Listen. I mean, if you’re like, “I don’t know about listening to something that’s like, an hour long.” Well, do something else while you’re listening to it. Just try it. Try it while gaming. Just for once, put your Doritos down, and listen to a podcast while gaming. Your fingers will stay clean. And our podcast has zero calories. Good point. Yeah? Mhm, good point. All right. I’m willing to say– Kill someone? Would you kill someone over it? I’m not willing to kill someone. Okay, I just wanted to see how serious you were. I’m not making a point nearly that serious. What if it was someone who was about to kill someone else? I’m just trying to figure out where you stand. There’s a guy who’s about to kill some innocent person. Like a sniper? Yeah. And you’re like– No, it doesn’t have to be a sniper, it’s just a person who can kill, and who’s gonna kill another innocent person. What’s the weapon? A murderer. What do you want the weapon to be? Name one. A fire poker. A fire poker? It’s a guy with a fire poker who’s about to kill another person. And I’m eating Doritos? Yeah, and your opinion that you’re about to give about this, that’s what’s on the line. I still don’t– How seriously do you feel about this? If you’re so serious about it, then the guy with the fire poker, he gets killed by someone else. So you’re telling me… Uh huh, he’s poisoned by someone else. Okay. Someone working for me, for this whole scenario. I have a person who’s working for me, who’s standing next to a guy with the fire poker who’s about to kill an innocent person. And this is all contingent on how serious you are about the conclusion you’re coming to right now. Right, okay well in that case– And if you’re wrong, I kill the guy who’s working for me. Well, I think I’m choosing mountain Dew. But how strongly do you feel about that? Real strong? You can save a life. Don’t take this lightly. I feel pretty strongly about it. Okay, all right. I’m calling it off. But now I gotta kill my guy. Right, you kill– yeah, just kill the guy. It sucks, man. No, I’m cool with it. Okay. But the innocent person lives. The person I hired to do this probably had it coming to him. So don’t feel too bad. I think the bigger thing I feel strongly about is how I cannot have these in my house. Yeah, we bring Doritos into our house and they are gone in a couple hours. It’s a single serving, I cannot stop. Yeah, we don’t do it. We don’t do it for that reason. I cannot stop. I mean, this is bad habit stuff here. Yeah. Look at this. You gotta live a little somewhere. We’ve sanctioned, like… these are not great for you. These are not great for you. They’re really great together for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they taste really good. Yeah, no one was died in the– No one was died. No one was died. In the making of this Good Mythical More. Join the team by sporting the Mythical Nineties B-Ball Tee, available now at mythical.com.